Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 79
January 30. 2012
This is my first Journal entry. Why do people write a journal? Probably because they’re lonely. But I, the great Takuri, or at least that’s what I’m calling myself these days, am never lonely. No I’m writing this journal so that other people can see, can read what great things I’ve done and where I’ve erred. It feels like I’m writing the truth. As a magician I spent my whole life living in illusions, bending the truth both to the audience but also to my humble self, now it feels like I can finally tell the whole story, you can’t go to somebody who you are manipulating and tel... Continue»
Patient to doctor: The problem is that obesity runs in our f****y. Doctor to patient: No.............the problem's that no one runs in your f****y.
I was walking home late one night and saw a woman in the shadows.
"Ten pounds . ." she whispers.
I'd never been with a prostiture before, so i decided, it’s only a tenner,why not, So we hide in the bushes.
Were going at it for a minute or so when all of a sudden a light flashes on us. It’s a policeman.,"Ello ello ello,What’s going on here, " asks the officer.
"I’m making love to my wife!, " i answered indignantly.
"Oh, I’m sorry, " say... Continue»
A few weekends ago I picked my girlfriend (as in, my friend who is a woman) up from the airport.
I met her about a month after she turned 18 and first had a threesome with her and the man we had in common upon our very first meeting. We had been chatting and flirting prior to meeting. We'd exchange pics and share our favorite porn over emails and texts, getting excited for our first meeting in a week or so. We loved the same kind of porn and we talked about how fun meeting up would be with our common lover. That was February 2012 and we are still very close friends…
When I picked her up... Continue»
As it turned out I was the highest scorer in my cbse exams of class 10 among that class, so very soon I started getting my response from teachers and friends including girls. A few of them struck me as they were very beautiful, and one of them was she. Even though I am writing this story with our mutual consent, let me not display her name, some things are better kept secret. She was a damn good looking girl, with a cute look, average height of 5.3 and a killing smile. A smile for which half the school will die for. She was among the most beautiful girls of the school. She had small boobs whic... Continue»
I had always eyed her from the day I joined my new company just seeing her in her tight jeans and watching her ass move man I needed that ass we soon got close and were a lovely pair, We started of the regular petting sessions me kissing her lovely lips and she responded very well always opening her mouth wide to welcome my tongue. I would scoop out the saliva from her mouth with my tongue and taste it, and she loved to do the same, soon I was asking for more and so was she but had been fucked before it had been a long time and she just wasn't ready for it. Eventually we worked out a compr... Continue»
In order to fully enjoy these practices, you must ensure you understand all of the potential ramifications prior to engaging in them.
Three is not a crowd
It is a common dream which in today’s time and age has the potential to be oh-so real. It involves you, your partner, and another person. Most people enter it to experience a new form of sex as they are bored of the ‘vanilla’ sex they have with their partner. However, the best would be if all three of you are reasonably well known to each other and comfortable enough to enjoy a sexual act.
Advantage: You have the chance to spice up ... Continue»
Have you and another given each other a mind blowing orgasm while fully dressed???????????????
I worked in this kitchen in Fl. and there was this waitress that would always brush her large tits and plump ass against me when ever she would pass me in the kitchen area. So we talked flirtatiously to one another for about two weeks.
One night out back taking a break she comes out and we get into a heated conversation. She noticed I had a massive hard-on and she said "I wish I could ride that cock right now". I had on a pair of loose chef pants; she had on a pair of black tight cotton/polyest... Continue»
This is a story my friend secretly told me
Iam a young housewife married a year ago and have given birth to a baby about two months old now and taying with my FIL (father in law) and hubby is working in the states. MIL (mother in law) is no more and so alone with FIL who takes care of every need as for my looks; I am quite pretty and endowed with good sexy features. usually wear saree below my navel well wrapped up to enhance my sexiness along with a well fitted blouse.
Mostly sleeveless and with front and back deep cut to expose my full and firm boobs and clevage. These days my boobs are fu... Continue»
Kevin is an 18 y/o, blond-blue eyed, very successful sports student, promising a bright future. When his coach Mr. Adams invited Kevin over for dinner, Kevin was very excited.
Coach Adams was a handsome,fit and lean, salt & pepper type, grey haired guy in his late 40s', Kevin was gazing admiringly at all these gold and silver cups Coach Adams won since his early teens in the living room when he heard Mrs. Adams' voice, letting them know that dinner was ready.
It was Kevin's first time meeting his coach's f****y members, he already knew that his coach was a father of two, a young boy n
It early Saturday afternoon and I was going to the school pool for a training session with the school swim team. We were in training for a competition against another school from another city. We had never beaten them before and were really trying hard this time.
I got there early as I wanted to laze around in the pool before we got in to it.
When I got there the door was open but nobody seemed to be around. I got changed and lay in the sun.
I had been there for maybe 10 minutes when the swimming coach (who was also my English teacher) walked over and told me to get off my arse and do a slo... Continue»
My biggest regret.
My name Sally Andrews I’m 42 years of age and have a son of 16 years named Kevin,
I have been married for over 20 years to Tom but we are currently separated due to my husband having an affair with one of our best friends wife,
My son still see’s his father every week so we have time to talk about our son when he come’s,
I think he would like us to get back together as he tells me the affair is over,
I still cannot forgive him for what he has done to me and as yet but we are working on it,
My son would love us to get back together and be a f****y again.
I have a funny, and frankly, hot, story from spring break 1996 when I went to Jamaica with my friends in college. There, I met a fellow spring breaker named Jamie who was a bit of a hippychick complete with cornrows (that she had done in Jamaica as many tourists are apt to do). Our evening consisted of an all-night toking and 69 session in her hotel room. The air was so dense with weed smoke that I really couldn't smell her otherwise musky pussy. However, I was kind of on the look-out because when I started taking off her panties to lick her pussy she actually said, "Umm, I just want to warn '... Continue»
I turned and slowly struck a pose in profile while Dede panned around my long hard on. "Have any of you seen Hammer Man?"
"Nope!" answered Cessa.
"Oh well," I sighed. "Do you suppose while we wait one of you could, (dramatic pause) Fuck me up my ass?"
It was hard to believe that this was the same place I was in several weeks ago. Gone was all the casual joking, and the laid back atmosphere. It was replaced with all kinds of tension and a strictly business attitude.
* KARI'S, JAILHOUSE SWANK!!!
------ Looking to get layed, Huh, Babe? Do you need me, Now, Want to get loud, and feeling proud? I know you want this, and I have it! So, come ready, and with it! Just, got to love this, "Shi... Continue»
You get home from the gym and call out to me that you are going to the shower, and you hear me mumble something back. You think nothing of it, assuming that there was something on TV.
Once you get upstairs you can smell the freesia candles burning. You glance into the bathroom and see it lit up with candles. You know I will be up shortly to join you, so you rip your cloths off and toss them into the bedroom and hop into the shower. You stand under the hot pulsating water. You are enjoying the feel of the hot water caressing your body, and you don't even notice me coming into the shower, unt... Continue»
It's not just men who are looking for 'friends with benefits'.
A Deakin University researcher has said that women are as likely as men to enjoy casual sexual arrangements, but for different reasons.
Kylie McCardle, who has been looking for 400 'friends with benefits' to take part in a survey, said the women who took part in an initial study said these arrangements gave them sexual confidence.
"The men were more likely to say they enjoyed the intimacy of the friendship," the Age quoted McCardle as saying.
The initial study was based on in-depth interviews with 15 couples, or 30 'fri... Continue»
Thank you to slavegirl87 who gave me the idea to w
While I was reading her I was thinking about a story that happened to me with an ex girlfriend.
Here is my story. Kiss
My girlfriend didn’t know Paris and one day, on a whim, we decided to go for the week-end to Paris. We took the train a Wednesday to spend 3 days alone together in a tiny hotel. I know quite well Paris, I visited dozens of times. But it was the first time I went with a girlfriend. 3 days is too short to see everything and because she loved the movie “Moulin rouge” we went to the Sacré Coeur and to Pigalle. Suddenly she... Continue»
I was living in a committed relationship with my partner Sylvie, whom you may have met in my previous Courtship stories. I was 4 months pregnant by Sylvie's b*****r Phillipe. We had spent a week in Lyon at a f****y wedding, and then had driven to Paris for a vacation stay.
Sylvie and I arrived in Paris on Thursday evening and registered at a small, elegant hotel just off l'Etoile, that great web of streets radiating from the Arc de Triomphe. Aside from tourism, dining, and promenading Parisian streets, one of our goals was to expand our collection of sex toys.
Prior to a trip to London... Continue»
Obesity, diabetes, high bl**d pressure, thyroid dysfunction, adrenal exhaustion, poor nutrition, prescription medications, hormonal birth control, too much stress and too little sl**p. Many factors determine a healthy sex drive and today we're looking at what determines a healthy sex drive and how to maintain it.
Factors that determine a healthy sex drive
Sex hormones – For women both estrogen and testosterone at healthy levels are very vital in maintaining libido as well as fertility. In men too, testosterone is vital. Men with clinically defined low libido are often diagnosed with low ... Continue»
A vicar asks his congregation if anyone would like to express thanks for their answered prayers.
A young woman makes her way to the front of the church and turns to face the congregation. "I would like to give thanks to my answered prayers! she announces. "Six months ago, my husband, had a terrible bicycle accident and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was agonizing and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."
A stifled gasp came from every man in the congregation as they imagined the pain that the poor man must have experienced.
The young woman continued, "My ... Continue»