Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 79

Vibration Platform Fitness Machine Product Review

A few months ago my husband and I looked at all different brands of the vibration platform physical fitness machines displayed at a Zoomer Show. After testing all of the exercise positions shown on the visual guide (particularly the sitting ones), I decided that the Turbovibe Light suited my personal requirements the best. I particularly liked the dual motors concept and the flexibility of the electronic remote programming features. All of the other machines at the show had a complex superstructure that I felt impeded diagonal access to the plate area, thus limiting my inventive routines.

S... Continue»
Posted by AdorableLaura 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Awkward sexy time!

Real story:
My girlfriend and I had been dating for roughly 5 months. If you know relationships this is usually the prime period for tons of sex.
One night, after dinner and movie, my girlfriend and I decided to head back to her apartment for some "physical activity". Upon entering her apartment we discovered that her roommate had left and was not planning on returning until late, the following morning. This was perfect, (her roommate was always complaining that we had sex that was too loud)we could really let go in the bedroom and have the time of our lives.
We started to make out in the... Continue»
Posted by wrkUSA 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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To Be Kneaded Like This Was GREAT!!

I am a 61 year old man living in Florida who has always been healthy and rarely ever sees a doctor. However, about 6 months ago I had an auto accident that caused an injury to my neck. After my surgery, part of my recovery included physical therapy and massage therapy. I found a good physical ther****t and worked out diligently 3 times per week. After a week of working out and feeling a bit tight I remembered the massage script and checked the phone book and one ad caught my eye. There was a ther****t not even 5 miles from my home so I called and made my first massage appointment. However, the... Continue»
Posted by Margar 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Susie Wong

A little background: Eddie, a friend of mine, and I take alternate shifts at a security office. The office is usually quiet, we just have to be there, be responsible, watch the monitors, that sort of thing. At night no one ever visits.

Well, no one except Eddie's wife Susie. She's half-Chinese, very attractive, very outgoing, and with a mouth and attitude like a Marine on shore leave! She'd had quite an upbringing in this Navy town and was quite the handful for her Chinese father, a first-generation immigrant, and her American redneck mother! (Those two are another whole story, but ne... Continue»
Posted by cptfritz 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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sweet revenge due to social networks

It was right before the hoildays of 2011 and my wife and I separtated. Feeling lonely and down due to the fact my wife was like i'll never get anyone that looks as good as her and put it on me the way she can which I thought due to the fact my wife on a off day is like a 8 and when she on a 10 and the sex is straight crazy. So feeling bad im on the phone with my b*****r and he's like go on a social site and look for old friends and get out im like please that shit dont work hes like you always find out how much someone wanted to fuck your brains out years later. So i'm like i'll try this so I ... Continue»
Posted by sparks1110 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Celebrities, Sex Humor  |  
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A story for the holidays

Christmas is a time of joy and happiness, OR boredom and loneliness.

Let me back up a bit, Christmas time, three years ago, sometime during the night, my cock was running in and out of Anna's pussy. It was all wet down there, well lubricated and it was fun. I was kissing her shoulder, fiddling her titties and ramming her pussy with my cock. Back, forth, back, forth, ... Anna turns over, she kisses me on the lips and starts sucking them. I am fingering her around her butt hole and spreading her butt cheeks while pushing her lower body to rub her pussy on my body. We didn't do it anally excep... Continue»
Posted by happytaquito 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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taboo sex?!! you decide.....

one fact about hispanic teens in hispanic countries, that is taboo is as follow: Teens (hispanics) from 13 and 25 and even well in their adult hood, when they start discovering their bodies, they get help from other teens of the same sex, mostly in the male gender, they would learn how to give oral sex. they will start with jerk off circles or two somes, the obvious gay ones, would be the ones who would give oral sex and mostly the one who would take it up the ass. If these teens don't find a wife, or can't find a girlfriendwhile in their mid thirties, they will continue this type of sex well ... Continue»
Posted by m2t3eros100 3 years ago  |  Categories: Gay Male, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Fate

Fate: Noun
"The Development of events outside a person's control, regarded as determined by a Supernatural power."

The last few months had not been going well for Sam, he lost his job and his girlfriend cheated on him with his best friend. After bouncing around from job to job he landed in a garage. A massive step down from his last job but thanks to a love of Cars given to him by his Father he was happy. He quickly found a kindred spirit in Owen, a fellow Mechanic and car buff, the two became fast friends.

On one particular evening Owen was invited to go out for a night of drinking a... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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One freaky day

I had to post this story and please believe this story is so true. I was about 25 and i had this 19 year old girl friend. It was xmas eve and I wanted her to come stay at my place so i went out to her house on the train to get her. As we waited for the train going back to my house "shell" is what im calling her(not her real name)decided she needed something in her mouth. So we went inside a shelter waiting area and she sat on the bench and i stood to watch out for others that my decide to stand inside. She unbuckled my pants like she saw flames in my pants and wasted no time getting my dick in... Continue»
Posted by addictedtooralsex 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Dumb? but I am not blond

During my freshmen year in High School I was new to this country. I didn't much about it. My f****y had just moved from Mexico to California and we had no clue how different things worked here, and how similiar were other things. When I was living in Mexico we had no money, but every month my mom managed to pay the rent. A man would come in every first of the month and ask for the money. My mom would ask me to go to my room. Then she would walk to the guy to her room and after two hours he would leave the house. So happy that he would forget to ask for the money. Back then I had no idea what r... Continue»
Posted by latintetas 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Uncle Timmy Takes Control...Part 1

Before coming over we lived in a village outside Middleton...I say village but it was two houses either side of a road really.It would take mammy and daddy about 20 minutes into town for the shopping or the cinema or whatever.When they went out for the night I would babysit.
I don't know if it was that daddy was a civilised man or that mammy had trouble inside but unlike others we knew,there was only me and the baby and a good few years between us too....Nice peaceful house.Hahahaha.

I came home from college one day to see the car gone and Uncle Timmy making himself at home with the teapot... Continue»
Posted by Janeandthedonkey 3 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Company of Men

Written by Janet(hotblackwetpussy42)

Diane a former prostitute want to escape away from her abusing
pimps, and other men. She wants to change her life around just to become a
normal person, she want to go back to school, get a good job. But, it's
seem whatever she do, she always fail. Diane loves to dress sexy, she
is 45 year old, and has an athlete shape with a size 48 D cup breast. Her
hips is very wide and her ass shake very heavy when she walk. Guys
can't resist stopping and staring at her. She just ignores them and continues
walking. One day she had an intervi... Continue»
Posted by hotblackpussy42 5 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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The Day I Became a Sex Slave


My name is Emma and this is the story of how I became a sex slave. I was to be turning thirteen in another 4 months. I have three older triplet b*****rs that are 17 years old. Also my mom and dad are very strict. If we don’t do our chores or get in trouble at school then they would spank us. It was always very humiliating because if we did something wrong then everyone, even guests would be gathered in the living room and whichever one of us was to be disciplined would roll two dice and the results of the roll will determine how many times each person in the room spanked you. Also everyone h... Continue»
Posted by drew1207 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Self Service

(With a little help, he sucks his own cock)

After reading some erotic stories from men who enjoy eating their own cum, I was very aroused, though I've never been much into that. I never even like kissing my wife after she gave me head. For some reason I just couldn't shake these thoughts.

One day after reading some very hot stories, I needed to jerk off. In one of the stories a man sucked his woman's pussy after she had just been fucked by 2 other guys. This got me wondering again if maybe I was missing something, so I decided to try tasting my own jiz.

However, after I came, this des... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Ship Wrecked


Off the coast of Africa it was a stormy dark night. The sailing ship about a mile out at sea was being battered by the violent rain and thunder storm. The mast was torn from the ship and fell overboard and the ship took on water from waves coming over it's sides and draining down the hatches filling the hull of the vessel. The ship was rocked and slammed back and forth breaking apart from the torrid storm and sank to the bottom of the ocean.
Out of the 50 man crew only 2 survived and washed up on the sandy beach. As the storm subsided and the sun rose it became a nice calm day. The 2 men ... Continue»
Posted by Warwood 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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My Girlfriends has a creampie pussy for the night.

Ceri my sexy saucy girlfriend was having a night out with the girls. It had been a while since she has been out and she was looking forward to it. As in my previous story Ceri like’s to flirt around with my mates and other lads she finds hot. She love’s being touched up and I don’t mind her having a bit of fun now and again. We had a steaming threesome with a male college friend of mine a few years ago. Since then our sex life has been pretty normal.

My good friend Dave was staying over our house to keep me company while she was out for the night. We had a load of beers in and were having a... Continue»
Posted by danny227 2 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Nursing School

Angelina Diaz had just graduated from nursing school. It had been a long and difficult road but was the fulfillment of a dream that took root in high school. Working first as a teenager as a Candy Striper and later as an aide in a nursing home, mostly cleaning up of rooms, patients, and the dirty jobs the regular nurses were loath to touch.

She enjoyed working with people, especially the elderly. Of course, just having received her RN degree, the elderly to the young 21 year old nurse at that time included anyone over 40 years of age.

During high school, because of her dedication to th... Continue»
Posted by Deathfyre 3 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Are You Gay? Answer to the Gay Debate


7 Signs you're Gay

You fucking wish you were a real man... well just get over it because you never have been and you never will!
In fact, Ill bet you that you're actually gay... even if you dont want to be!!! haha - homo!

Okay seriously bitch, you need to be honest with this mini-quiz... you need to get over the denial and fear and when you know your should answer yes, just do it...
If you really want to know once and for all if you're a cock smoking queer, or not - then just be honest when you answer and then we will see... if you're a raging homo gay lord!

1. You have thought or... Continue»
Posted by faggitkiki 2 years ago  |  Categories: Gay Male, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Small dick laughed at by 2 nurses

A friend of mine is a doctor and as part of her training she did a stint in the sexual health wing of the hospital she was working in. She is a very game girl constantly regaling us with tales of funny medical incidents. She told me about games she and her colleagues played to keep themselves amused and spirits high while working in quite a gritty environment.

She said they had a hilarious time asking really intimate questions because people would answer 100% honestly (very eye opening she said).. other guys would treat it like counselling and the moment the door shut on the examination r... Continue»
Posted by peteash 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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"30 Minutes or It's Free"

Stan's monotonous job as a pizza delivery driver had been getting him down lately,most of the people didn't give very good tips and he had not gotten a raise in his measly wages for over twelve months.High school graduation party's on this Saturday night were keeping him running about in a frenzy trying to keep up with all the orders.It was a quarter til eleven pm,fifteen minutes before the end of his shift.He parked his car and walked back into the restaurant to collect his wages for the evening.The boss said I've got one more delivery for you to make,we've been swamped with orders and these ... Continue»
Posted by goo4u 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor  |  
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