Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 79

Our Life As A Couple

Continued on from my story.

so christmas has come and gone.

It was a rather hectic one. 24-27th of christmas at my parents house and the 27th-30th was at my darling bappys. so many good memories. so much to catch up on eh.

over the christmas period i'd come to realize all relationships were based around sex even if they say it doesn't. women use it for their own advantage, men use it as a release of pressure and its been proven in my relationship recently. christmas came with a strawberry flavour and some dirty talk driving the parents to leaving the house as soon as they heard the b... Continue»
Posted by maaao 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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8 Ways to Feel Closer After Sex

Take a moment to think about what you and your guy usually do after sex. Chances are, it’s sl**p, eat, or flip on the TV. Not exactly romantic, especially considering that the few hours afterward are one of the best times to bond. “When you orgasm, hormones are released that make you feel more connected,” says clinical sexologist Rachael Ross, MD, PhD. “Take advantage of that by doing things to prolong the feeling.” But that doesn’t mean intense conversations or eye gazing—little gestures can reap big benefits. Try these tips tonight.

1. If you’re hungry, forgo ordering a pizza and instead... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 4 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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The Punishment - Short Story

Lucy Sky, 24, happily married with two c***dren, had a very straight religious up-bringing. She learned already very early in life, that as a true believer you have to condemn the sin but to love the sinner - and she definitely seems to love both of them equally. She is a conqueror, a temptress and a teaser, but only in her erotic fantasies:

»You were masturbating in the dormitory again - s****r Noris heard you! How many cautions did you get already?« »Two, Father Anselm!« »And: do you confess?« »Oh yeah, Father Anselm, I do?« »So: all my prayers were in vain? You still are a naughty woma... Continue»
Posted by sushicook 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Fun During Gym Part 1 <3

I stand in front of the mirror with my popular group of friends which stand beside me, making sure their tits are plunged out for the boys and makeup/ hair is perfect. I'm the leader of the popular possy because I'd been friends with them all the time. Sydney, the sexy latina with a curved ass, Meghan, the hot blonde with the smooth stomach, Hailey, the perfect blue eyed sex goddess with the huge tits, and me, Taylor, the beautiful long blonde hair, perfect curved ass and huge sexy tities. (The word "tities" makes me laugh all the time XD). My best friend Sydney comes from behind me after chan... Continue»
Posted by milli214 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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My Sexy Saali(s****r-in-Law)

Mera nam Preetam hai. Meri umar 19 saal ki hai. Ghar par mere alawa kewal mere bhaiya Mohan aur bhabhi Anu hi hain. 2 saal pahle bhaiya ki shaadi huyee hai. Bhabi maayke gayee thi. Bhabhi jab wapas aayee to unke saath unki chhoti bahan Sapna bhi hamare ghar aayee. Wo bahut hi khoobsurat aur bahut hi chanchal thi. Uski umar lagbhag 17 saal ki thi. Wo mujhe bhi jija kahti thi aur bahut mazak karti thi. Bhabhi ne use mere room ke bagal wala room de diya tha. Ek din raat ko main bathroom jaa raha tha to maine dekha wo bahut hi dhyan se key hole se bhaiya ke room mein dekh rahi thi. Gallery mein ek... Continue»
Posted by fuckutonight 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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My virgin girlfriend

Okay I've read a lot of shit hear and by that I mean absolute shit. It's the difference between things that are so "porn fantasy" and the reality of sexual encounters - no matter how freaky that are totally true. This is one of those true stories.
I was a senior in high school. I had been a foreign exchange student for a year living in Brasil. Many stories can come from that adventure. I was 17 years old and I was a typical teenager - girl crazy. I had dates and fun but to be true I had never really had anything like a sex before. I had a couple of girls let me after much physical persuasion... Continue»
Posted by ccbigs 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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The Adventures of Teri Sue

Teri Sue walked down the yellow brick-road wearing her trademark red-riding hood and carrying a basket with cake and wine for her grand-aunt. She was in a rather good mood as the sun shone on her smiling face with its rosy cheeks. The weather was perfect for the delighting trip she had been looking forward to for so long.
Her shoes, also the same color red as her hood, clapped on the yellow bricks in an upbeat rhythm and you could tell how full of energy she was having just started on her trip. She felt like singing and started humming a melody that she made up as she went along. Her a****l c... Continue»
Posted by ButtyBratToughL 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Adventures at the Orgy Motel. Part 1

Roots Motel Ch 1
By: Friskee_cpl (friskee_cpl@yahoo.com.au)

It takes hours to write these stories but only seconds to vote and send a message. Thanks to all of those wonderful people who send messages. It does make a difference. Please enjoy.

You help fuck a friend's wife and cum all in her cunt and you end up buying their motel. As Ned Kelly said "Such is Life".

Hello I am Marcus Franklin. I own a small motel in the Riverina and I spend a fair amount of my time in the bedroom. Well bedrooms to be precise. I have just bought a 20 room motel that I will be running with my wife Sharon... Continue»
Posted by friskee_cpl 3 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Paybacks Are A Bitch

"Fuck you, you fucking low cunt she screamed." " Fuck You,Fuck You,Fuck You That Hurt"
Over and over again. Each "Fuck You" was punctuated by a flying object.
Both pillows whistled past my head, followed by the bedside clock, my wallet from the nightstand and 2 mobile phones.
Jesus she was angry.
I tried to explain.. but she wasn't in any mood to listed... I pleaded..."It was an accident"... really.
My cock went up her arse. I was just fucking her doggie style and pulled back to really ram it home and it came out. Instead of using my hand to guide it back into her cunt I just pushed and ... Continue»
Posted by bardeen 1 year ago  |  Categories: Anal, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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My first Pussy-sort of...

In my messages I received a lot of positive feedback from my first experience, so here is the rest of the month. Again, this is the beginning of my sexual life and it is true.

After I had my first orgasm with Ron, I was pretty much insatiable. I still had no clue how to satisfy myself; that is to say I had no idea I could jack myself off. I only thought that Ron possessed this magical power. However, it seemed my dick was perpetually hard as all twelve year old boys are. And I could not stop thinking about sex: in the classroom, on the paper route, doing my homework, I was a wreck. I was co... Continue»
Posted by mahuluvr 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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The Coleman Pop-Up Camper Money Maker

Once Upon a time in a soutern backwood farming and mining community lived poor uneducated folk. I grew up as most young ladies do minding my parents, and taking those sticky tractor rides with paw, as he plowed the fields, and planted his seeds in the tiny rows. It always put a smile on his face as well as mine to be such a special helper. Keeping the field weeded was always a chore.

Then the city over opened a water park, and of course they charged money. So my b*****r came up with the idea that he would have his firends cum over to the trailer after they got done doing their chores. ... Continue»
Posted by WombDweller 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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My First Time

MY FIRST TIME







It was my first time ever
And I'll never forget
I'd do it again
Without a single regret.
The sky was dark
The moon was high
We were all alone
Just she and I.
Her hair was soft
Her eyes were blue
I knew just what
She wanted to do.
Her skin so soft
Her legs so fine
I ran my fingers
Down her spine.
I didn't know how
But I tried my best
I started by placing
My hands on her breast.
I remember my fear
My fast beating heart
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart.
And when I did it
I felt no shame
All at once
The white stuff ... Continue»
Posted by jabig6 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Hot Sex

We had spicy egg fried rice for dinner last night, chef sat in the living room chopping the veg and chillies ready for the rice that was sat steaming on the hob. Fast forward ten minutes to me being accosted on the stairs on route for a quick pre dinner bath. Sex on the stairs is always a good thing, there's something wonderfully naughty about having sex in a none sex designated zone .He ripped my jeans off, slammed me down on my back and slid his cock straight up inside me. If we had left it there we would have been fine. However sexy genius here decided it would be fun to taste herself ... Continue»
Posted by duggie666 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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The Creation of a Pussy

Seven wise men with knowledge so fine,
created a pussy to their design.
First was a butcher,
with smart wit,
using a knife,
he gave it a slit,
Second was a carpenter,
strong and bold,
with a hammer and chisel,
he gave it a hole,
Third was a tailor,
tall and thin,
by using red velvet,
he lined it within,
Fourth was a hunter,
short and stout,
with a piece of fox fur,
he lined it without,
Fifth was a fisherman,
nasty as hell,
threw in a fish and gave it a smell,
Sixth was a preacher,
whose name was McGee,
he touched it and blessed it,
and said it co... Continue»
Posted by papa61 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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A Birthday Surprise

(In the parking lot, she's wearing only her gown)

It was an odd birthday, my wife Donna, who over the last few weeks just went on and on about the surprise she had planned for me, chose to sl**p in when the morning finally arrived. In previous years she always made a point to get up early and give me a special sendoff, before the k**s woke and I had to leave for work. There was nothing like birthday sex to send me happily off, but this year, simply got up, got dressed, fixed my lunch and then headed off to work, just as if it was just any sort of day.

Later, when she called me after taki... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Helping Daughter In law

This is a story my friend secretly told me
Iam a young housewife married a year ago and have given birth to a baby about two months old now and taying with my FIL (father in law) and hubby is working in the states. MIL (mother in law) is no more and so alone with FIL who takes care of every need as for my looks; I am quite pretty and endowed with good sexy features. usually wear saree below my navel well wrapped up to enhance my sexiness along with a well fitted blouse.
Mostly sleeveless and with front and back deep cut to expose my full and firm boobs and clevage. These days my boobs are fu... Continue»
Posted by sarosh 3 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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A Short Story

A Short Story
in play format. (Originally written 23 Feb 2006)




Interior - waiting room of surgery. A voice over the P.A announces for Mrs Allott to enter Dr. R Don’s room.

Mrs Allott: Hello Dr.

Dr. Don: Good morning, Mrs Allott, what can I do for you? how’s Mr Allott?

Mrs Allott: He’s fine. Dr, I’m here about my pussy.

Dr. Don: And what is the problem with it?

Mrs Allott: It keeps itching.

Dr. Don: Well, you better get it out and I’ll take a look at it.

Mrs Allott gets it out and Dr. Don proceeds to take a good look at it.

Dr. Don: You have a lovely pussy,
... Continue»
Posted by suavisdulcis 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The Torture

You are home alone. You find yourself looking around to determine what next to do. Wow, it’s been so long since you had the house to yourself. You sit on the couch thinking, “Hmmm what to do?” You end up falling asl**p on the couch. Sweet dreams begin.
In your dreams you smell lavender and you get this feeling that someone is with you, but who? This dream is peaceful and you find yourself relaxing. This person with you has soft hands, you think to yourself, “don’t let this dream stop it’s been too long since someone has made me comfortable”. Your entire body has been gently massag... Continue»
Posted by Feistybabe63 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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ME AT THE BACK OF THE PLANE:PART TWO

ME AT THE BACK OF THE PLANE:PART TWO
ME AT THE BACK OF THE PLANE:

Maggie got up first and I watched her go to the back of the plane, with a quick look around I got up and walked to the same toilet and knocked twice, she opened the door and pulled me inside. We started to kiss and my hands were all over her and so were hers. I was grabbing her at her cloths ,I unbuttoned her green top she had on ,which showed off her well cupped breasts in a lace bra, in matter of seconds I had it off my mouth went straight for her nipples ,I was sucking them like a little baby trying to draw milk, she was ... Continue»
Posted by alwaysREADY2please 12 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Space Alien Girlfriend Goes Home



I met Angelica at my favorite Sports Bar. She was beautiful and I was dumb struck by this petite Scandinavian blond with an absolutely perfect body. Well, after a few days I got to know Angelica, our first evening ended with me getting a blow job at her place. But this is only the beginning of a new lifestyle that would change my life. You see Angelica is a space alien from the planet Gliesie, the closest habitable planet to earth. She told me that both Earth and Gliesie were biology experiments by a race of super beings. Gliesie, the more peaceful planet thrived and mastered the science o... Continue»
Posted by captjim51 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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