Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 79

chav lads, my arse, pussy get fucked

I got all tarted up for some sex as my twat was wet and begging for cock. I wore fishnet tights, short red skirt, red knickers, big red heels and a red tight crop top with no bra on. I had my big hoop earrings in and wore red lipgloss and lots of make-up in general. I went around to the back of the spar and met up with Jason, Nicky and Jake.

Jake who lives near me from the Chav sex trade story was there. He’d fucked me a few times when his mum and dad weren’t in at his house after the Chav sex trade story but he was at back of spar this night. Jake is very sexy and can cum 3 times easy whe... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 442  |  
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My Week of Hell. (Week 1 of 7)

This isn't a sex story per se, so if you are looking for a classic son fucks mom chronicle, there are plenty to choose from here. I would know. ;)




As some of you know, last Tuesday was Marti Gras, or Fat Tuesday. A day celebrating debauchery and gluttony in all of its glory. A day of celebration rivaling New Year's Eve in scope and magnitude. In short, a epic day of partying and sex.


But the day after Marti Gras is the polar opposite of everything that Marti Gras stands for. Ash Wednesday. The beginning of the Lent period of fasting and repentance, if you belong to several major... Continue»
Posted by BigJ0526 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 448  |  
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Are you gay?

Are you gay?
For the record, I’m not. If I was, I’m not sure that I would admit it, but I like to think I would.

Who knows?

The point is, I’m not, but I get accused of being gay all the time.

Most of it is either just jealousy from weak-minded guys, or wishful thinking from gay dudes, but it does come up.

The funniest example so far is this email I got the other day.

What’s really funny to me is when guys say that they KNOW I’m gay.

Now, I’ve met some gay dudes that were in the closet, and I actually know at least one right now. I guess if you live in a real conservative pla... Continue»
Posted by a_chord90 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 416  |  
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Short Story

After last night I doubt I would ever speak to him again, everytime I thought about it my heart raced and my bl**d boiled! Sitting in my friends lounge room I was explaining the nights happenings and how Joe had accused me of fucking his cousin after he'd left the club which was a complete lie and was only almost a blow job in the back of a black cab one night when I dropped some change and bent over to pick it up, to which said cousin pulled my pony and pushed my face into his crotch, I could feel his hard member against my face and his grip on my hair was so tight my pussy immediately pulsed... Continue»
Posted by unknownfemale 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 381  |  
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Preplanned (Rap)ing Drama

It was an unwanted occurrence for me, about which I have never even imagined. The incident occurred most recently and I was totally unready for facing such type of situation. Though the whole situation was pre-planned and just a drama, nothing else. The heroin of this drama was my house owner’s middle aged wife Sulekha Bhabi. I have rented this apartment in March 2010, my flat is at the ground floor. From the very beginning when I first met Sulekha Bhabi, I attracted to her liquid eyed lusty sight. When she stares at my eyes, I seemed she can see the bottom of my mind. I also think that she is... Continue»
Posted by matterboy 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 536  |  
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The New Sexual Awakening Part 5

Trevor woke the next morning feeling invigorated. The previous days escapades had put a spring in his step, several in fact. As he descended the stairs to the kitchen below he couldn't help but whistle a jaunty tune.

Good morning f****y! He said bursting into the kitchen.

Well someone seems happy this morning! Ellen said, before taking a swig of coffee.

You are correct Mother dear, I have never felt better in all my days! Trevor said with a grin

so what are you gonna do today b*o? Jack asked.

Why don't you come to work with me son, they've all been asking about you? Carl said.
... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 1 year ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 657  |  
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Bounty Part One

Her name is Elisa Grumway and although she may look like a Supermodel she is anything but.

She drinks to much, smokes cheap cigars and eats more McDonalds than a long haul trucker and yet she has an amazing figure. When asked how she pulls it off she always answers:

"Good Genes and lots of Running"

Elisa is a Bail Enf***ement Officer aka Bounty Hunter.

You may ask how a Woman who looks like so stunning and should be prancing down a Catwalk in Milan fell into the Hunting game, well it all began Two years earlier.

After being "dismissed" from a brief stint as Mrs. Cluck (a cos... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 222  |  
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Room Service

Hi All!

Long time no see! I’ve finally ‘got my arse in gear’ and feel inspired to write. The only problem was, because it has been a while what should I blog about? After some careful consideration I thought it only polite to keep you all up to date with ‘recent events’ so to speak lol.

I suppose the best place to start (as with all stories)is from the beginning. I had been chatting to a chap, lets call him Colin (rhyming slang ‘Colin Firth’ - girth ;-P) for a short while, when the delightful boy suggested we meet. Now a lot of the people I talk to either play around with the ide... Continue»
Posted by unassumingmistress 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 610  |  
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young adventure

In our town back when I was a young teenager there was a man who used to frequent the Gent’s toilets. Today he would probably be considered a paedophile or at least a gay sex maniac. The Gent’s toilet was a dark lit building with very small windows up near the roof standing on the corner of a side street which was a cul-de-sac. There were individual old fashioned porcelain toilet stalls. The place used to have a very strong urine smell no matter when you went in there.
The man used to be standing facing into one of the stalls in the corner. When my pal and I or anyone went in he ... Continue»
Posted by trickydicky111 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 419  |  
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OAP Sperm Count

An 85-year-old visited his doctor who requested the old guy take a sperm count test as part of his physical exam.

The doctor gave the old man a specimen jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.'

The next day the old guy goes back to the doctor's office and hands over the jar, which was as clean and empty as it was the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, Doctor, it's like this, first I tried with my right hand, but nothing happened. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing happened.

'Then I asked... Continue»
Posted by sjroche1509 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 962  |  
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Pilot and lesbian

An old Marine Pilot sat down at the Starbucks, still wearing his old USMC flight suit and leather jacket and ordered a cup of coffee.

As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the pilot and asked, 'Are you a real pilot?'

He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life flying planes, first Stearmans, then the early Grummans... flew a Wildcat and Corsair in WWII, and later in the Korean conflict, Banshees and Cougars. I've taught more than 260 people to fly and given rides to hundreds, so I guess I am a pilot, and you, what are you?

She said, 'I'm a les... Continue»
Posted by semper-et-ubique 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 430  |  
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rekhaaaaaa

I had just landed up my first job in Mumbai (immediately after college) and had moved into a one bedroom flat (apartment) in Andheri. It was a f****y friend’s flat and I was in the process of purchasing it from them (with financial help from my parents and Bank) as my parents had moved to native place to spend their old years. My flat was on the fifth floor and there were four flats per floor in our section. I am 5’11”, well built, exercises regularly (daily) and 25 years of age. The excitement of the job, new flat, living independently, were all too much for a young excited ... Continue»
Posted by deepuin 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 477  |  
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First time cheating and getting deep-throated

My names james, im in my early twenties and i figured id tell contribute a story of mine =)

This story is TRUE

I was 17 year old. I had been with a few girls, and gotten my share of blowjobs from the girls at the catholic school i attended.
One of the last girls i had been with my junior year, this girl christina, her mother had gotten remarried at the beginning of the school year, and her new father and steps****rs would be moving in and starting at our school.

Christina was a total babe in highschool. Petite latina girl with long brown hair, about 5'4" 125 athletic bui... Continue»
Posted by jedimindtrickery 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 3289  |  
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The naughty neighbor affair

The Naughty neighbor affair...

The apartment was all quiet ,I was home all alone for the day.. I was wandering what
I could do to keep my self entertained? Hmmm I thought "Booty call" I decided
to text my neighbor since he was off work and see if he was tied up with the wife
or see if he had some free time for some fun... fingers crossed.. he was was free
and he could stop by ... my body began to tingle with anticipating his reply ,
than my phone buzzed and he said yeah he was free he stop by after lunch
which certainly put a smile on my face, so I went up and ... Continue»
Posted by sherrlicious 1 year ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1368  |  
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Most Excellent (but somehow ever more paranoid) XH

I promised you our own story when we met here through profiles on XHamster. A funny thing happened, worth sharing with readers here, and, this is our story.

Adventuring began easily, the XHamster way, finding profiles, posting comments, messaging about one another commenting on profiles. Cyber sexing is the second reason after video viewing everyone hopes for when we connected here. You were so into the intensity of our exchanges that I easily ignored the long gaps in time for your side of the messages to come across the internet. Maybe a more paranoid person would have t... Continue»
Posted by latch 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 9311  |  
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NYMPHOCOM - ch 01

The Mind Control Machine - ch01

Disclaimer : I am not a native English speaker so please don't hesitate to correct me if there are sentences which are not understandable !

Please comment/flame as appropriate !


Prologue

Controlling somebody else's mind has always been a common fantasy throughout the ages. Nothing is more fascinating than to have other human beings obeying your will without any restriction even at the risk of their own life. Many scientists have tried to uncover the secrets of the brain but so far our most complex organ has remained a mystery. We know that th... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 358  |  
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Daily Commute

This is my first story and not much of a writer but had an interesting incident this morning so I thought I'd share with you all.

I commute daily from home to work by train like most people living in Japan.
As you all may know, the trains are crammed during rush hour and your touching someone's back or shoulder.

It's like being in a can of sardines.

Anyway, so I get on the train this morning and like always it is crammed.

It is filled with sweaty men and I have been living in Japan for about 6 years now but still can't get used to having a sweaty guys back rubbing against my back.... Continue»
Posted by drpepper23 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 821  |  
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friend's hot elder s****r

i will tell u my story! Sex with friends s****r
when i was 13 my friend's s****r is 8 year elder to me and him and her boobs is round and sexy, her armpits is very smelly and hairy. I often go his house to meet him but side-by-side I want to see his s****r. One day I had gone to his house and his s*s is sl**ping in pajama and her pajama (nightwear) is torn from her panty side and her panty is clearly visible. but i do nothing. After one week i go to his house nd that time he is not in house only his elder s****r is in house lonely in cut sleeves Kurti(top)nd in pajama(bottom wear) she say to ... Continue»
Posted by ishaan217 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1661  |  
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Giving advice

Part of my job is giving advice to groups of around 40 people; the reason for the small numbers is in my field of work and a lot of individuals need to ask many questions and you could be their all night.
Last Monday I was in Harrogate doing a talk. In the front row, smack in the middle were this good looking couple in their 40s, he had a very expensive suit on and she had this wonderful short dress showing quite a lot of leg extenuating her figure with a nice pair of black and red high heels. As I was talking the woman kept crossing her legs one way then the other and this caused her dress t... Continue»
Posted by joncristo 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 802  |  
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Nice surprise from a date site...

About 18 months ago, I met a lady in her mid 40's through a date site. She had been married for 20 years, was bored as hell with the relationship but, like a lot of people, did not want to rock the boat at home. So she looked for fun outside....

The chat between us before meeting was a bit unusual - she wanted to know how I would seduce her and make love to her etc etc. Usually this is fairly erotic, but there was something 'different' about this lady. We agreed to meet up and she came and stayed with me for the evening and night.

She was a BBW lady, who I will just call Tina. She told ... Continue»
Posted by jasper61 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 932  |  
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