Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 79

Come Out of the Closet

Hello homofag... I think it's time for you to come out of the closet! The truth is, everyone probably thinks you are gay, so I'm sure it won't be much of a surprise to your friends and f****y but I'll still help you out yourself to them.  This is a step by step assignment that well require you to gather all kinds of incriminating evidence about your queer double life to ultimately seal your fate in exposing yourself to everyone for what you really are!  Once you complete these steps, there will be no turning back for you bitch and then everyone will know the truth that you're really a flaming ... Continue»
Posted by faggitkiki 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  Views: 352  |  
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shaving my arse




Guest


Before shaving your ass hair, READ THIS



STOP! Before you do, read this. You may change your mind.

I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to all though tasteless, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble pooping. No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique.
It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I ... Continue»
Posted by chairmanmoo 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 563  |  
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Katy's Reluctant New Look Ch. 01

(Sexy conservative wife is put into uncomfortable situations)

"You look so good in your Calvin Klein suit, darling!" I told Jake as he hurried out the door with his orange juice sloshing out of the glass and across his fingers. He was running late for the sales meeting at the brokerage.

I love my husband so much! He's not one of those pretty boy types. Instead, he's a man's man; big, strong and very capable of taking care of himself in any situation, physical or otherwise! Jake's the kind of guy that knows what he wants and gets it. I guess that's why he has me!

"Thanks, Katy! You kno... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 841  |  
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My True Thing!

My first Blowjob was with 45+ aged man and its was f***eful against my wish. That was first time I touched PENIS and after that incident was feeling so sinful, which made me to watch PORN in my free time and been to xHamster.

After being here got a desire to catch thick white man's penis, so was searching for safe man locally and got one Australian in FaceBook, who use to stay in India working as Network engineer. He dint knew that I was 18 and used to send lots of erected penis snaps to me, and its was really thick white one.

A day... Continue»
Posted by indianbee 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 699  |  
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Wilma's Time Alone

Wilma Flintstone was home alone; she had the Flintstone f****y home to herself. Fred was away bowling with their neighbor Barney Rubble for the week in Rock Vegas, and Pebbles was out with her friends and planning to stay over for the weekend at a slumber party.

Wilma had just gotten out of the shower and was wearing a short, sheer robe that barely covered her body and left absolutely nothing to the imagination, her 38C breasts and red haired pussy were very, very visible. This was one of the best parts of having the place to herself; she could indulge her nudist tendencies.

Wilma Flints... Continue»
Posted by wsgy411 8 months ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1755  |  
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mom son with mom son

I noticed the crowd of boys leaning against cars by the curb in
front of the convenience store when he went in. He never liked
seeing guys just hanging around looking for trouble. He usually
minded his on business, but the sound of a young woman in
distress alarmed him. He left his purchase on the store counter
and went out to investigate. A young woman was being pushed
around between the thugs while they grabbed at her backside.
The hoard laughed hardily. One of the gang members pulled up
the back of the girl’s dress and grabbed her butt-cheeks. I ran up
behind the young man holding ... Continue»
Posted by shokeen_ 7 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 4573  |  
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The Glamorous Granny

1986 or possibly 1987, I was in my mid 20's and going out with Viv, a
BBC TV producer who was both gorgeous, and incredibly .

During Whitsun week I found myself some hundred miles away from her,
at a Holiday camp in South Wales, as bassist in a hastily put together
backing band for a fading glam rocker who was appearing for a week's
residency. I will call him Rocky for the sake of argument, but I do not
refer to Handsome b**sts frontman Rocky Shades here, though we do know
him.

Rocky's tastes in recreation would not pass the filters here, shall we
say.

So there we we... Continue»
Posted by DrVonWankenstein 3 months ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 2717  |  
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Asian Cum Slut

The night I met Mei in a London club, she was dressed the way you see in
Japanese anime. I told her, and she got all offended since she was Chinese,
and anyway she could not understand what I meant, or so she claimed.

She had on high heeled boots, knee high socks the kind you'll see matched
with schoolgirl uniforms, a chequered plaid skirt that barely covered her
ass, and a white shirt that could barely contain her immense 38E bust.
She looked obscene - breasts that size on a chink, especially one not more
than 5'1 or 5'2 that couldn't be a day over 18 just accentuated the
anime-girl... Continue»
Posted by pornofiend 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 741  |  
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Hardonis Academy P-12

Chapter 12, Third Day


The three new friends met at breakfast the next day, they were all smiling. Even though they had not had sex with each other, they seemed sure of forming a tight bond. The Academy was centered on the Hall building, which included the dining area, library, club rooms, student council and newspaper offices, and the theater. To the East were the two dorm buildings. To the West was the sports complex, which included the medical office. To the north was the administration building, witch included the guidance councilor’s office. To the South was the large square ... Continue»
Posted by VictorL4fun 3 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 373  |  
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My bestfriends dad and me

ok this is the most weird day i had and its true. one day me and my friend planned a sl**pover at her house, we got to her bed room and she said she forgot something down stairs and she left me upstairs. im thinking "what a ass" and i hear the door across the hallway opening and their he was, her dad sexy,strong,six pack,young, and had cute brown hair,hotter then hell i blushed when he seen me and he smiled and said "oh you must be my little girls bestie" and laughed i laughed to and said yes, Oh lol so might want the part when it was night and my friend left to get food for a long time..... i... Continue»
Posted by babychiken44 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 2312  |  
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Tom's accident

“Comfortable, Dad?” Karen asked as her father eased himself as best he could with both arms and a leg in plaster and a a face that looked like it had gone ten rounds with Audley Harrison.

“Yes, love,” Tom said. “Sorry to be dumped on you like this.”

“It’s not a problem, Honestly! If I can’t look after my old dad in his hour of need, what kind of a daughter am I?”

“A good one. You always have been. Especially when your mother went. I don’t know how I’d have coped.”

Karen bent over and gave him a kiss on the forehead.

“Well, you just take it easy and I’ll make you a coffee.”
... Continue»
Posted by samvimes 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 9744  |  
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Joke for today

WY

An Englishman was holidaying in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. One day they were strolling along a nude beach when they noticed a naked Black local also strolling towards them.

The Black guy notices the white guy has '" WY" tattooed on his penis and asks what it stands for? The white guy says .. Well when I get an erection it spells my girlfriends name " WENDY " , The surprised white guy sees that the Black guy also has " WY " tattooed on his penis and asks what it stands for?

The black guy says , well when I get an erection it spells " WE... Continue»
Posted by cocoabutter 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 742  |  
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Paybacks Are A Bitch

"Fuck you, you fucking low cunt she screamed." " Fuck You,Fuck You,Fuck You That Hurt"
Over and over again. Each "Fuck You" was punctuated by a flying object.
Both pillows whistled past my head, followed by the bedside clock, my wallet from the nightstand and 2 mobile phones.
Jesus she was angry.
I tried to explain.. but she wasn't in any mood to listed... I pleaded..."It was an accident"... really.
My cock went up her arse. I was just fucking her doggie style and pulled back to really ram it home and it came out. Instead of using my hand to guide it back into her cunt I just pushed and ... Continue»
Posted by bardeen 11 months ago  |  Categories: Anal, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 3225  |  
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Jane and the Belly Dancer

Jane and the Belly Dancer

We resumed fucking and for the first time in my life I began to feel sick to my
stomach while having sex. It was time to resume my self coaching.

"This is how I'm gonna someday make THE BIG BUCKS! Just a few more minutes.
Oh shit look at those tits bounce! The way she's moving her legs. OMG OMG OMG!

***********************************************************************

I gazed into the full length mirror inside the dressing room and admired
my new makeover. There was fresh make up on my face which for the first
time ever, included f... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  Views: 811  |  
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Peter's Pointer

It was nearly midnight and Molly was bored out of her mind. Her friend Peter was here and he insisted that she took the bed. It was extremely hot out but that didn't seem to bother Peter. They chatted about school and parents for awhile until Peter changed the conversation to relation ships...
"So who's the lucky guy that gets to spend lunch with you?" asked Peter mockingly.
"Peter shut up.. you know I don't have a boyfriend.. and what about you and Sarah?" Tutted Molly with a hint of jealousy. Peter laughed and said something about breaking up with her a couple days ago but something else ... Continue»
Posted by sluef 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 596  |  
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A Teacher's Pet

In 2004, when I was 16 I started writing erotic stories. This is the very first one I wrote, about a teacher I had the hots for. Enjoy....

I am a 6th form student doing A level chemistry. Twice a week I am taught by Mrs Pen. From the first moment I saw her I was obsessed with her. She is 5'7" with a good figure and nice round breasts and a nice firm ass. I would often rush home to wank over the idea of slamming my cock into her pussy. On day, late in my second year, my dream came true.

I came in for a lesson just before my final exam to find I was the only student. Mrs Pen didn't ... Continue»
Posted by simonenglish 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1360  |  
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GoodCake

Shes sitting there in the corner of my eye asking why I have to make a mess she knows my cakes take time to prepare bake and set. Whisking the eggs fluffing my batter she waits my forearms tighten cute bakers hat shaking my good mood to much to resist. Come here for a second she calls out to me. Hold on is my reply. Set my pans in the oven turn around her body pins up mine. Gimme a kiss. So I do slip to the side and be rude let me go take a shower. I wash the flour out my hair take a moment and stare then brush my teeth. Wrapped in a towel stright to the kitchen gotta save my creation from bur... Continue»
Posted by MattheMonster 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 168  |  
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The Italian Job 12

The Italian job 12
The day had come for the party at Roseanna’s house, the plan was to drive there on the Friday afternoon, have the party all day Saturday & Saturday night then make our way home on the Sunday.
I went to Yvonne and Maria’s home on the Friday lunch time and collected them along with Sonia then we all drove to Ravenna to the party venue, Roseanna was waiting at the door with Hazel in the background, the ladies had the tour of the house and we were shown to our rooms, dinner was to be a 7.00pm, quite a lot of guests had arrived already and Yvonne and Sonia were already popular ... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 348  |  
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Tube Rendezvous

I check my watch: 10.31 perfect, I step onto the 3rd carriage of the tube at Oxford Circus, Central Line heading west. I check my mobile again, the text reads "10.31 Central line, 3rd carriage, OC, no undies ;) Bunty x"

I make my way to the corner of the packed tube, looking for the blonde haired woman, but no sign. At the next stop a sudden rush of people exiting and a new hoard entering. Suddenly I notice a shot of blonde hair moving towards me. The woman is close and has her back to me, she is dressed in a black jumper, black skirt, black stockings and a red jacket. I have a Gant shirt, ... Continue»
Posted by tallguy222 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 486  |  
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Road Trip

We had just left Savannah, Georgia, and were heading back north to Ft. Bragg, N.C. We were in my 68 Convertible Corvette, and Anya was always a horny b---h, when I started to play with her pussy, and she reached over and pulled my shorts down to my feet, and started to suck me. I was passing a panel van, when I looked over and saw this young driver looking at us and grinning, and giving me the thumbs up. I pulled her mini-skirt up around her waist, exposing her beautiful ass in a thong. Next thing I knew there were 2 more heads looking out the same window, with sh-t eating grins on their faces... Continue»
Posted by vince68 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 783  |  
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