Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 78

Mistaken Identity

My wife and I were up at the lake visiting her cousin, and were returning by boat from dinner. We all had a buzz on, and let the girls off at the dock, and Steve, my wifes’ cousins husband said he needed cigarettes, and we went back out in the boat to get them. It was dark, we had the running lights on, and when we reached the pass, he turned them off and turned right and said there is a party down the lake, and I want you ot meet this Nympho, and get laid real quick, and we can come back home, and jump in the lake, and she won’t be able to smell the pussy on you. I said “hell yeah”, and off w... Continue»
Posted by vince68 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor  |  Views: 969  |  
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squirting

Omg Iv only had sex with one guy as was with the same guy for four years and he never once made me orgasm.. I thought maybe it was me that i wasnt as sensitive down there as other girls or something..anyway I know now that he just wasnt doing it for me because last night I had a really naughty cam session with a guy from manchester..he was really fit and in great shape especially for his age(59)
He said he had a thing for school girls so i put on an old school uni that fit me when i was 14 but makes a great slutty outfit now. the skirt barely covers my bum as i always wore it short anyhow.
a... Continue»
Posted by 4dlaf 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 747  |  
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Sexy wife and I continued

Hello My suzie and I have been together going on thirty years it has been a great ride . I have written about our adventures in the laundry and in the yard on the deck our dining room of our new house and our date to the erotic drive in on our third date,
She was a hottie then and still my hottie we love it when we do have time and the wanting to have sex some awesome hot wet sex!
We use to have swimming pools some only a foot and half deep a k**dy pool we use to lie in it on a warm summer evening after the k**s got out it was funny we were out in the wood we did not have any one close en... Continue»
Posted by fulltimeflirt 2 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 317  |  
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the truck

it was a mild summer night as i held the one i loved in my arms. i held her close against me as i kissed her neck. as i started to nibble on her ear she tugged and pulled at my jeans as if to slowly claw them off me. passion was taking over and she was ready to go. i reclined my trucks seat as she saddled me and bit into my neck. it was somthing that just drove me nuts. her nibbling on my neck slowly moving down my collar bone, while slowly pulling my shirt off as i unsnapped her bra she tugged at my belt, begging for me to fuck her. i layed her down on the seat and undid her belt and pants wi... Continue»
Posted by wja1291 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 308  |  
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The Party

I did not write this, just enjoy.



"Oh come on Phyllis, it'll be fun," Brenda pleaded, "you're always saying how you never get a chance to meet anyone and I can guarantee you that the place will be loaded with a lot of guys!!!" Phyllis looked doubtfully at her room mate and replied, "I don't know, Freddy has some pretty weird friends, do you really think we should!?!" "Of course we should, silly," Brenda replied excitedly, "and what you consider weird, I consider "different"!!!" "Well," Phyllis replied, "if you really think so............." "Good, it's settle then," Brenda said happily, ... Continue»
Posted by snake_500011 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 659  |  
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Are you gay?

Are you gay?
For the record, I’m not. If I was, I’m not sure that I would admit it, but I like to think I would.

Who knows?

The point is, I’m not, but I get accused of being gay all the time.

Most of it is either just jealousy from weak-minded guys, or wishful thinking from gay dudes, but it does come up.

The funniest example so far is this email I got the other day.

What’s really funny to me is when guys say that they KNOW I’m gay.

Now, I’ve met some gay dudes that were in the closet, and I actually know at least one right now. I guess if you live in a real conservative pla... Continue»
Posted by a_chord90 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 422  |  
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I won a bet

I told you of a bet my wife and I made a while back and she won that one. Well I got her on another bet that I won. She was a gracious looser and said what do you have in mind? I said well I am feeling kinky tonight and I'll think of something, but while I am you go get showered and shave your pussy and ass hole bald. ( she keeps them shaved anyway ). She was off to the shower. I went in our room and started digging for something for her to wear. Since it was a warm evening I picked out her gray Elizabeth and James Mara tank dress , it comes about seven inches above her knee. no bra and her bl... Continue»
Posted by woreout 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 1187  |  
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nurse

Mr Bartholomew was the perfect patient, quiet, polite and when he spoke, interesting and interested.
He had been on the ward for about a month when he was transferred to one of the private rooms under my care. He was recovering from a cycling accident, as far as I could tell he had been training for a cycling race when he was hit by a car. He didn't speak about his accident but he had cruched ribs and was more or less immobile until they healed.
I used to make sure I was the one who did the bulk of the caring for Mr Bartholemew, I told myself it was because it was important to his heal... Continue»
Posted by celcus 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 1237  |  
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My First Time

MY FIRST TIME







It was my first time ever
And I'll never forget
I'd do it again
Without a single regret.
The sky was dark
The moon was high
We were all alone
Just she and I.
Her hair was soft
Her eyes were blue
I knew just what
She wanted to do.
Her skin so soft
Her legs so fine
I ran my fingers
Down her spine.
I didn't know how
But I tried my best
I started by placing
My hands on her breast.
I remember my fear
My fast beating heart
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart.
And when I did it
I felt no shame
All at once
The white stuff ... Continue»
Posted by jabig6 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 686  |  
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A Happy Thanksgiving With My Cousin

This story is completely fictional!

It had been a few months since I had seen my cousin Sara and when she got to my house for thanksgiving I was stunned at how sexy she looked. Since I had seen her last, she had cut her hair and more importantly developed a nice set of tits. Not too big and not too small, just perfect for a track runner like she was. She had a slim body but perfect ass which I loved to stare at. When everyone arrived I took their coats and threw them on my bed, Sara came with me and threw a few coats down too. She commented on how messy my room was and laughed when she s
... Continue»
Posted by faddy02 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 745  |  
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Betty's life (Chapter 2)

Your full lips are closer and closer to CJ's shithole. You can even smell it. It smelled like CJ just had a p*o.
-"Yes, yes, yes...That's it, gurl, that's it! Make me happy, bitch!"-CJ yelled pushing your head even stronger, so your lips touched his anus and your nose was smelling his sweaty balls now.
*There's no way out.*- You think to yourself. You, Betty Boops, the most beautiful white girl in college, with a hot pair of tits and nice big booty, are going to lick some black d**g dealer's ass, who lives nextdoor in you neighbourhood, just for a simple ride to the mall...Hell yeah!
-"C'mo... Continue»
Posted by twingirl 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 463  |  
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I Went Home with Some Guy after the Bar

My friends and I had arranged to go meet up at a bar then go out clubbing. It was a warm summer evening so over my black lacy underwear I wore a tight little white skirt that stopped an inch higher than mid-thigh and a sleeveless strappy white top, which showed through my black lacy bra. I knew the bra pushed up my boobs making them look larger and sure to draw the eye of the any guys! I brushed my shoulder length dark hair until it was straight and glossy, did my makeup and grabbed my white 2 inch heels to give me a bit more height; as I am kind of short.

I met my friends at the bar and we... Continue»
Posted by PureCoffee 3 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1536  |  
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The Adventures of Teri Sue

Teri Sue walked down the yellow brick-road wearing her trademark red-riding hood and carrying a basket with cake and wine for her grand-aunt. She was in a rather good mood as the sun shone on her smiling face with its rosy cheeks. The weather was perfect for the delighting trip she had been looking forward to for so long.
Her shoes, also the same color red as her hood, clapped on the yellow bricks in an upbeat rhythm and you could tell how full of energy she was having just started on her trip. She felt like singing and started humming a melody that she made up as she went along. Her a****l c... Continue»
Posted by ButtyBratToughL 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 387  |  
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True Incident With s****r

What I did was wrong. I know that. You don’t have to judge me, I take responsibility for my actions. I am not going try to make excuses. I simply want to explain how it happened. I want you to understand that it was an accident. It was an honest mistake. I did not realize what my s****r was doing to me until it was too late. I’ve had some time to sort through the events of the past year, and there are so many things I would do differently if I could. To be honest though, there are some things I would never change. Some aspects that a part of me really enjoyed. I’d do it again. My parents split... Continue»
Posted by dineshrocks 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 17465  |  
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Find your black man/white woman/white man match at

OK, this was a "project" given to me by a good friend, thought I'd share it here!
FOR THE RECORD: I have never actively participated in the "cuckold" lifestyle, although I am intrigued by it...probably my biggest fantasy (outside of being the towel-girl for the Kenyan jr college basketball team) has always been: having a white guy watching me have sex with a black guy...enjoy!

CUCKMATCH.COM!
Helping White Men to Learn Their Place!



Hello (new member)!

You have a new message from: Mandi Lou at Cuckmatch.com!... Continue»
Posted by mandilou0303 1 year ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1444  |  
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Joke..!!!

Little Johnny's teacher got up in front of the class and announced they were going to play a guessing game! The teacher said, "I have something behind my back. It's red in color and round. It's soft, but it's hard."

Johnny raised his hand and said, "I know, it's a red rubber ball." The teacher said, "No Johnny, it's an apple, but I like the way that you think."

The teacher grabbed another object and put it behind her back. "I have something behind my back. It's orange in color and round. It's soft, but it's hard," said Johnny's teacher.

Johnny raised his hand again and said, "Teacher ... Continue»
Posted by papa61 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 1882  |  
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Typical Teenager

I have always had a great relationship with my Nephew “tubs” his real name is Shaun and I think I am the only person who has a nickname for him which is not directly connected with his almost luminous ginger hair, which he hates.
Susan my girlfriend has not the same soft spot for tubs as his typical hyper-active teenage antics and cheek get right on her nerves and since he has turned thirteen he seems to have developed an unhealthy obsession with Susan’s underwear. She caught him raking through the washing basket and laying out her thongs and bras for close inspection, he thought she was on t... Continue»
Posted by award6 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 2843  |  
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Tranny Sex Therapy

All at once, Maria's limp lady stick transformed itself from lifeless shell into
The Incredable s/he Hulk. I had to keep opening my mouth to keep it all in.
Precum started to pour down my lips and chin onto to my bra. That precum was rapidly replaced by genuine girlie man paste.

I would have been laughing but it was like being
water boarded with seamen. I was drowning in hir cum. Holeee SHIT!

********************************************************************************

I swear I should have been a sex ther****t. It would be my mission to make
sure before some transgen... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  Views: 709  |  
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STREET STORIES: Malina and her Dogs

MALINA
By Webb


After finishing my time in the service I came back to Tampa this was mid ’97. My b*****r introduced me to his circle of friends and I hit off with all of them pretty well. They all smoked a ton of weed and back then they were heavy into video games. I’m no gamer but it was good company at the time. We would all congregate at a guy named Jeff’s house. People would fall through the spot, rollup and listen to good hip-hop.




There were a few girls that would come through the spot as well and one of them was Malina. Malina was white about 26 years old with shoulder le... Continue»
Posted by webborelly 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1109  |  
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Right hand, left lane

Right hand, left lane

A little poem of love for
a teen driving dangerously


Right hand driving
Fast, hence left lane
On the road again
From West to East
From Left to Right
And back again
High speed, I know

Your little secret

It´s the hole in your pocket.
I know you did it on purpose.
Irish red-head swinging to the East.
Singing a song of love and longing.

Who are you? Old enough to drive?
A sexy hole in your pocket.
So you can drive very fast?

Your button of love

I know your dirty little secret.
You press your special button
All th... Continue»
Posted by petdyke 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 617  |  
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