Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 78

Go Get Some (A Poem)

Just another poem...you don't have to take it to heart, though not a bad idea...

Go Get Some.

So, you’re looking for another rhyme,
Don’t know if I can do it this time,
I tried to think of something hot,
Something with a lusty plot,
Something you can read and wank,
But my mind simply came up blank,
So instead of reading some dirty poem,
While you’re sitting back at home,
Take a trip into the city,
Where you may find some real kitty,
Cause sex isn’t just to read about,
It’s something I can’t do without,
Cash your check when you get paid,
Go outside and actually ... Continue»
Posted by Exakta66 4 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Vibration Platform Fitness Machine Product Review

A few months ago my husband and I looked at all different brands of the vibration platform physical fitness machines displayed at a Zoomer Show. After testing all of the exercise positions shown on the visual guide (particularly the sitting ones), I decided that the Turbovibe Light suited my personal requirements the best. I particularly liked the dual motors concept and the flexibility of the electronic remote programming features. All of the other machines at the show had a complex superstructure that I felt impeded diagonal access to the plate area, thus limiting my inventive routines.

S... Continue»
Posted by AdorableLaura 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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My own personal nurse

Last week I came down with a small cold I caught at a time out with some friends. I decided it was best to stay home and rest my head. Leanne called like she normally does every morning to check up on me before class. I explained that I was sick with a cold. She asked to come by after class in the afternoon and I told her she can come over anytime.

Later that day Leanne arrives. We hug and kiss as she walks inside my apartment. Leanne cooked dinner for the both of us. She asked if she can stay the night to keep an eye on me since I was ill. I told her yes and she asked to change in my clot... Continue»
Posted by Johnny916 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Sex Therapy-Florida Style

A Florida couple, both well into their 80s, go to a sex ther****t's office.

The doctor asks, "What can I do for you?"

The man says, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?"

The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees.

When the couple finishes, the doctor says, "There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse." He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck, he charges them $50 and he says goodbye.
Finally, after 5 or 6 weeks of this routine, the doctor says, "I'm sorry... Continue»
Posted by papa61 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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taboo sex?!! you decide.....

one fact about hispanic teens in hispanic countries, that is taboo is as follow: Teens (hispanics) from 13 and 25 and even well in their adult hood, when they start discovering their bodies, they get help from other teens of the same sex, mostly in the male gender, they would learn how to give oral sex. they will start with jerk off circles or two somes, the obvious gay ones, would be the ones who would give oral sex and mostly the one who would take it up the ass. If these teens don't find a wife, or can't find a girlfriendwhile in their mid thirties, they will continue this type of sex well ... Continue»
Posted by m2t3eros100 4 years ago  |  Categories: Gay Male, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Story of my Life: My Sister and I

This story and all the stories that follow are true, but the names of most of the people (except my own) have changed. Everything else is as true as I can remember it.
__________________________________________

My name is Vanessa Abigail Genai. This is a story of the first time I ever started masturbating.

At the time I was only nine years old. I had not yet begun puberty so I was still flat and hairless. Those who knew me, always said I was beautiful, even back then. I had long blonde hair that reached to my shoulders. I always kept it loose and flowing. I had bright blue eyes. I had s... Continue»
Posted by v-a-gina 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Small dick laughed at by 2 nurses

A friend of mine is a doctor and as part of her training she did a stint in the sexual health wing of the hospital she was working in. She is a very game girl constantly regaling us with tales of funny medical incidents. She told me about games she and her colleagues played to keep themselves amused and spirits high while working in quite a gritty environment.

She said they had a hilarious time asking really intimate questions because people would answer 100% honestly (very eye opening she said).. other guys would treat it like counselling and the moment the door shut on the examination r... Continue»
Posted by peteash 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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My Girlfriends has a creampie pussy for the night.

Ceri my sexy saucy girlfriend was having a night out with the girls. It had been a while since she has been out and she was looking forward to it. As in my previous story Ceri like’s to flirt around with my mates and other lads she finds hot. She love’s being touched up and I don’t mind her having a bit of fun now and again. We had a steaming threesome with a male college friend of mine a few years ago. Since then our sex life has been pretty normal.

My good friend Dave was staying over our house to keep me company while she was out for the night. We had a load of beers in and were having a... Continue»
Posted by danny227 3 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Flashing Wife


I never thought that I would be writing a letter to you, but I guess that goes to show that anything is possible. I'll have to start from the beginning so please bear with me.

I met my very beautiful and sexy wife about 12 years ago. I knew that she was the one for me the minute I laid eyes on her. We dated for quite a while without having sex and I respected her for the choice she made. That still doesn't mean I wasn't dying to get into her pants and sample her sweat juices. Then one day it finally happened. I mad... Continue»
Posted by jason1000 4 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Doctors Visit

I walked into the doctors office, the nurse took my weight and checked my bl**d pressure than took me to a room and said go ahead and take your clothes off, the doctor will be with you soon.

I’m a petite woman at 5’2, small with perky breast (so I’ve been told) a nice little firm and bubbly butt and yes, I am a proud owner of one of the thickest pussy out there, my lips are so huge it can cover most of anyone’s face who likes to eat.

Anyway, I disrobed and lied down on the chair, the room was a bit chilly and my nipples were solid hard, it took the doctor 10 minutes to come in the room. ... Continue»
Posted by dlbiblkm 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Joke..!!

A married couple is lying in bed one night. The wife is curled up, ready to go to sl**p, and the husband turns his bed lamp on to read a book. As he’s reading, he periodically reaches over to his wife and fondles her special area. He does this a few times, but only for a very short interval before returning to read his book.

The wife gradually becomes more and more aroused and, assuming that her husband is seeking some encouragement before going further, Gets up and starts stripping in front of him.

The husband is confused and asks, "Why are you taking off your clothes?"

His wife repl... Continue»
Posted by papa61 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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MY HOT MOM AND FRIEND TOMMY

MY HOT MOM AND FRIEND TOMMY.

My Mom is one hot Milf! Well that what I’ve been told by my friends at school you see when my mom picks me up from school all my friends gather around my car hoping to get a look at her tits and her really sexy legs mom always wears short skirts and low cut tops and sometimes stocking as you can catch a glimpse as she gets out of the car,
It’s no wonder they all want to look I’m sure she know she’s teasing them she never tries to hide the fact that she showing herself to us young lads,

I think it’s so nice to have a mom that is so sexy everyone wants to be ... Continue»
Posted by bobbyblue53 2 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Fourth of July Slumber Party

This Fourth of July started out just like any other. Little did I know that this day would change my life forever. I went over to my boyfriend's house in the middle of the afternoon for the f****y picnic. The plan was for me to watch fireworks with Danny, my boyfriend, and his f****y and then take his s****r, Whitney, to their aunt's house.

The day went exactly as planned. We went to Danny's grandparents' house for dinner, then to the park to watch fireworks. After fireworks, I gave Danny a kiss goodbye then Whitney and I drove to their aunt's house.

"Want to come up and have a few dri... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 5 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Ship Wrecked


Off the coast of Africa it was a stormy dark night. The sailing ship about a mile out at sea was being battered by the violent rain and thunder storm. The mast was torn from the ship and fell overboard and the ship took on water from waves coming over it's sides and draining down the hatches filling the hull of the vessel. The ship was rocked and slammed back and forth breaking apart from the torrid storm and sank to the bottom of the ocean.
Out of the 50 man crew only 2 survived and washed up on the sandy beach. As the storm subsided and the sun rose it became a nice calm day. The 2 men ... Continue»
Posted by Warwood 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Office Environment and Fast Anal Sex

Call me a modern girl, I like sex, teasing, drinking, sex, men, more sex, and of course those facials, the dirty kind I blogged about earlier.

In the office the other day, I was greeted with a glass of champagne instead of my Espresso.

Dave, the copier guy snucked a bottle in, and as we stood in the small coffee room and poured me a second glass, he admitted he thought about me, behind his wife's back.

That should have sent my feminine alarm bells ringing, but strangely it made my morning pussy twitch, something most husbands know that females are partial to a morning shagging, 'I hop... Continue»
Posted by Fridagirl 9 months ago  |  Categories: Anal, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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I Just Fucked a Virgin

My wife and I had another one of our legendary fights and I decided to just go stay at a hotel for the night and just relax. The clerk stared at me kind of funny when I went to check in at 9pm and didn't have any ID. I explained to him the fight with my wife and how I'd left my wallet at home and the story about my emergency cash stash in the car and, with a $100 tip, I soon had a no-questions-asked room with double queens.

After dropping off my bag I went down to the restaurant and got in a quick bite. I had a rum & cola with the dinner that I didn't even touch so I just took it back to t... Continue»
Posted by PureCoffee 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Anathema Device










Anathama Device


Anathema returned to her class satisfied that she had got her own way yet again .

Anna was used to getting her own way. She dominated her older s****r Meg and her younger s****r
Janet, She even dominated her Mother Meg or so she imagined.

The telephone rang at Meg Browns house . Meg answered almost immediately .

It was Martin the Principal at Hope High School .
Martin White was the nephew of the bank manager who had owned the Mansion on the hill and had been the deputy Principal when Meg was at school.
No one knew except for ... Continue»
Posted by clearly 5 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor  |  
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THE ITALIAN WEDDING

THE ITALIAN WEDDING

I was a very happy man.
My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year.
So we decided to get married.

There was only one little thing bothering me..

It was her beautiful younger s****r, Sofia.

My prospective s****r-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was Bra-less.

She would regularly bend down when she was near me.
I always got more than a nice view.

It had to be deliberate.
She never did it around anyone else.

One day she called me and asked me to come over.
'To check my s****r's wedding- invitatio... Continue»
Posted by tetamata 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The Agony & Ecstacy

Out of town on assignment, I was staying with my friends in an upscale part of town..MONEY! He was out of town for the day, and I, was house sitting during the evening. His wife was out with her girls friends, partying it up.

It was a boring evening channel surfing and reading a book. The book as better than TV and I was on my 2nd glass of wine, when I heard the rear door open.

In waltzed, very carefully, Linda, who appears very sexy and quite too much to drink. She leaned against the wall trying to, gracefully, remove her shoes. Her long hair, plus her low cut tank top displayed a fine... Continue»
Posted by silverfox62 4 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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My foreign boyfriend.

This is a real experience guys, I had a boyfriend from London once and I spoke to him recently, we are no longer together because of the distance thing. We were on cam and everything, and I don't know how but we ended up talking about when we used to fuck... it was a bit embarrasssing because we don't talk about that shit anymore - it's the past. It really turned me on and I figured maybe it would be an interesting read.

It's not one of those erotic or dirty normal stories, it may be a bit boring or whatever but anyway.. Read on if you got the time - maybe it will make ... Continue»
Posted by xxxsarah69xxx 6 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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