Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 78

Joke..!!!

Little Johnny's teacher got up in front of the class and announced they were going to play a guessing game! The teacher said, "I have something behind my back. It's red in color and round. It's soft, but it's hard."

Johnny raised his hand and said, "I know, it's a red rubber ball." The teacher said, "No Johnny, it's an apple, but I like the way that you think."

The teacher grabbed another object and put it behind her back. "I have something behind my back. It's orange in color and round. It's soft, but it's hard," said Johnny's teacher.

Johnny raised his hand again and said, "Teacher ... Continue»
Posted by papa61 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 1882  |  
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Typical Teenager

I have always had a great relationship with my Nephew “tubs” his real name is Shaun and I think I am the only person who has a nickname for him which is not directly connected with his almost luminous ginger hair, which he hates.
Susan my girlfriend has not the same soft spot for tubs as his typical hyper-active teenage antics and cheek get right on her nerves and since he has turned thirteen he seems to have developed an unhealthy obsession with Susan’s underwear. She caught him raking through the washing basket and laying out her thongs and bras for close inspection, he thought she was on t... Continue»
Posted by award6 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 2843  |  
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Tranny Sex Therapy

All at once, Maria's limp lady stick transformed itself from lifeless shell into
The Incredable s/he Hulk. I had to keep opening my mouth to keep it all in.
Precum started to pour down my lips and chin onto to my bra. That precum was rapidly replaced by genuine girlie man paste.

I would have been laughing but it was like being
water boarded with seamen. I was drowning in hir cum. Holeee SHIT!

********************************************************************************

I swear I should have been a sex ther****t. It would be my mission to make
sure before some transgen... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  Views: 704  |  
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Find your black man/white woman/white man match at

OK, this was a "project" given to me by a good friend, thought I'd share it here!
FOR THE RECORD: I have never actively participated in the "cuckold" lifestyle, although I am intrigued by it...probably my biggest fantasy (outside of being the towel-girl for the Kenyan jr college basketball team) has always been: having a white guy watching me have sex with a black guy...enjoy!

CUCKMATCH.COM!
Helping White Men to Learn Their Place!



Hello (new member)!

You have a new message from: Mandi Lou at Cuckmatch.com!... Continue»
Posted by mandilou0303 1 year ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1465  |  
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STREET STORIES: Malina and her Dogs

MALINA
By Webb


After finishing my time in the service I came back to Tampa this was mid ’97. My b*****r introduced me to his circle of friends and I hit off with all of them pretty well. They all smoked a ton of weed and back then they were heavy into video games. I’m no gamer but it was good company at the time. We would all congregate at a guy named Jeff’s house. People would fall through the spot, rollup and listen to good hip-hop.




There were a few girls that would come through the spot as well and one of them was Malina. Malina was white about 26 years old with shoulder le... Continue»
Posted by webborelly 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1095  |  
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Right hand, left lane

Right hand, left lane

A little poem of love for
a teen driving dangerously


Right hand driving
Fast, hence left lane
On the road again
From West to East
From Left to Right
And back again
High speed, I know

Your little secret

It´s the hole in your pocket.
I know you did it on purpose.
Irish red-head swinging to the East.
Singing a song of love and longing.

Who are you? Old enough to drive?
A sexy hole in your pocket.
So you can drive very fast?

Your button of love

I know your dirty little secret.
You press your special button
All th... Continue»
Posted by petdyke 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 618  |  
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A Birthday Surprise

(In the parking lot, she's wearing only her gown)

It was an odd birthday, my wife Donna, who over the last few weeks just went on and on about the surprise she had planned for me, chose to sl**p in when the morning finally arrived. In previous years she always made a point to get up early and give me a special sendoff, before the k**s woke and I had to leave for work. There was nothing like birthday sex to send me happily off, but this year, simply got up, got dressed, fixed my lunch and then headed off to work, just as if it was just any sort of day.

Later, when she called me after taki... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 919  |  
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Eyes Wide Slut

You have a slightly difficult relationship with Oscar's s****r Hollie. This is due to the fact that you desperately want to fuck her, and she knows it. She discovered your feelings a while ago when she caught you wanking into a pair of her panties. For some reason, this did not endear you to her. These days her attitude toward you is a mixture of pity and contempt, but that doesn't stop her prick-teasing you mercilessly when your friend isn't around.

You've tried to suppress your feelings for the sake of your friend, but you find yourself thinking about Hollie all the time. In fact, you've... Continue»
Posted by camdogg 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 450  |  
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First Time Sex of a teenage indian with her aunt

Touched 40 now but still remember the incident which happened when I was still a teen. It was a normal summer day in Ahmedabad. After a hard day at school I threw my bag at the bed and headed towards bathroom. It was a bright sunny day and I just stepped into nearest bathroom. I heard water and then as my eyes adjusted to the inside dimness, I saw my aunt staring at me, as she stood naked and soapy under the shower. She gasped in shock. I stared at her and felt my shorts tent as I saw her large breasts and bushy pussy... She burst out laughing as I turned around and ran out. It was the first t... Continue»
Posted by Benjasex 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 2854  |  
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The Layover

Stephen Brooks, a rather average sort of fella on the wrong side of 30 slowly opened the door of his Towncar and ducked out into the muggy afternoon air of Dallas Texas. Before him was the Airport and annoyingly beyond that a five hour plane flight back to New York.

As he grabbed his bags from the trunk it dawned on him that he had in all likelihood spent more time in the air in the past month then birds do in their entire lives.
Stephen was in Dallas overseeing the construction of a new Distribution hub for his Company and at the end of the week would fly back home to New York to give in... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 836  |  
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Christmas Holly

It was early Christmas morning; actually it was 1:30am, when Holly awoke and heard and rustle, she couldn`t place where it was coming from. Suddenly she spotted a figure emerge from around the bedroom door. She knew it wasn’t Luke as he had his firm cock nestled along the crack of her bum cheeks; Holly could tell Luke was dreaming of one of the video`s they had watched on xhamster last night.

Suddenly the figure approached the edge of the bed and you Holly saw that it was Flasher974 Santa; he was dressed in a full Father Christmas outfit with hat, beard, coat and red trousers and black sh... Continue»
Posted by flasher974 3 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 672  |  
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Enjoying during studying in college

That happened to me when I studied at the University. I didn’t live with my parents because in this city we didn’t have a house or some relatives or even friends. I was late to get my name on the list to the college hostel, so I had to rent accommodation just a few blocks from the campus. There were 2 of us, 2 girls who rented one apartment, because it was a bit cheaper for us both to share accommodation fees.
I walked in to the apartment I shared with another girl named Lucy. It was late Friday night. I had been in the library, preparing for my exams on the next Monday. The living room was i... Continue»
Posted by urpussysucker 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 800  |  
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I Shag, Dump and Slap the Minging Slut!

I’m just on the way round to see the Minger… it’ll be for the last time because once I’ve shagged her gross little body I’m going to dump her… naturally she doesn’t know that. In fact I’ve really been quite nice to her recently… well nice by my standards… built up her hopes that we will be ‘an item’, perhaps get married one day.


Me… married? That’s a fucking laugh… show me a ‘happily’ married man and I’ll show you a fucking loser… and I’ll tell you why he’s a fucking loser… it’s because he’s a liar… a liar mainly to himself. The marriage thing probably starts out alright but after a bit –... Continue»
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 1 year ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 886  |  
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Girls night out

Girls night out

My wife, Sarah, had gone out clothes shopping with some friends and then they were all off on a hen night to see some male strippers. So, with her out of the way for a ‘Girls Night Out’, I’d asked a few mates round for a ‘Lads Evening In’.

There were supposed to have been six of us – Ian Terry John Billy and Mike and myself. We had agreed that Ian should bring round the latest editions to his extensive collection of porn DVD’s and we would all chip in some booze. Unfortunately Terry and Mike had broken down on the way home from a football match, got pissed while waiting ... Continue»
Posted by whitewifeneedsbbc 10 months ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 2319  |  
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ME AT THE BACK OF THE PLANE:PART TWO

ME AT THE BACK OF THE PLANE:PART TWO
ME AT THE BACK OF THE PLANE:

Maggie got up first and I watched her go to the back of the plane, with a quick look around I got up and walked to the same toilet and knocked twice, she opened the door and pulled me inside. We started to kiss and my hands were all over her and so were hers. I was grabbing her at her cloths ,I unbuttoned her green top she had on ,which showed off her well cupped breasts in a lace bra, in matter of seconds I had it off my mouth went straight for her nipples ,I was sucking them like a little baby trying to draw milk, she was ... Continue»
Posted by alwaysREADY2please 7 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1413  |  
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Sara hitching a ride

Hitching a Ride in My Bikini


By SaraOz and billy69boy




My name is Sara, and this is based on a true story of a ride I got home from the beach. I was planning to take the bus home after taking a shower in the changing room. I had put my bag on the seat but it fell off and when I opened the shower curtain, my shorts and top were in the water on the floor. I had no choice but to put my bikini back on, as at least it was dry. I missed the bus, so I started walking up the road to go to a bus stop a few streets over to get another bus that would take me home.

*****

My name is Bla... Continue»
Posted by drew1207 5 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 3832  |  
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The Glamorous Granny

1986 or possibly 1987, I was in my mid 20's and going out with Viv, a
BBC TV producer who was both gorgeous, and incredibly .

During Whitsun week I found myself some hundred miles away from her,
at a Holiday camp in South Wales, as bassist in a hastily put together
backing band for a fading glam rocker who was appearing for a week's
residency. I will call him Rocky for the sake of argument, but I do not
refer to Handsome b**sts frontman Rocky Shades here, though we do know
him.

Rocky's tastes in recreation would not pass the filters here, shall we
say.

So there we we... Continue»
Posted by DrVonWankenstein 3 months ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 2718  |  
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Come Out of the Closet

Hello homofag... I think it's time for you to come out of the closet! The truth is, everyone probably thinks you are gay, so I'm sure it won't be much of a surprise to your friends and f****y but I'll still help you out yourself to them.  This is a step by step assignment that well require you to gather all kinds of incriminating evidence about your queer double life to ultimately seal your fate in exposing yourself to everyone for what you really are!  Once you complete these steps, there will be no turning back for you bitch and then everyone will know the truth that you're really a flaming ... Continue»
Posted by faggitkiki 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  Views: 355  |  
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shaving my arse




Guest


Before shaving your ass hair, READ THIS



STOP! Before you do, read this. You may change your mind.

I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to all though tasteless, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble pooping. No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique.
It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I ... Continue»
Posted by chairmanmoo 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 565  |  
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Katy's Reluctant New Look Ch. 01

(Sexy conservative wife is put into uncomfortable situations)

"You look so good in your Calvin Klein suit, darling!" I told Jake as he hurried out the door with his orange juice sloshing out of the glass and across his fingers. He was running late for the sales meeting at the brokerage.

I love my husband so much! He's not one of those pretty boy types. Instead, he's a man's man; big, strong and very capable of taking care of himself in any situation, physical or otherwise! Jake's the kind of guy that knows what he wants and gets it. I guess that's why he has me!

"Thanks, Katy! You kno... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 837  |  
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