Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 78

A Short Story

A Short Story
in play format. (Originally written 23 Feb 2006)




Interior - waiting room of surgery. A voice over the P.A announces for Mrs Allott to enter Dr. R Don’s room.

Mrs Allott: Hello Dr.

Dr. Don: Good morning, Mrs Allott, what can I do for you? how’s Mr Allott?

Mrs Allott: He’s fine. Dr, I’m here about my pussy.

Dr. Don: And what is the problem with it?

Mrs Allott: It keeps itching.

Dr. Don: Well, you better get it out and I’ll take a look at it.

Mrs Allott gets it out and Dr. Don proceeds to take a good look at it.

Dr. Don: You have a lovely pussy,
... Continue»
Posted by suavisdulcis 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 647  |  
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The Torture

You are home alone. You find yourself looking around to determine what next to do. Wow, it’s been so long since you had the house to yourself. You sit on the couch thinking, “Hmmm what to do?” You end up falling asl**p on the couch. Sweet dreams begin.
In your dreams you smell lavender and you get this feeling that someone is with you, but who? This dream is peaceful and you find yourself relaxing. This person with you has soft hands, you think to yourself, “don’t let this dream stop it’s been too long since someone has made me comfortable”. Your entire body has been gently massag... Continue»
Posted by Feistybabe63 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 440  |  
88%
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Right hand, left lane

Right hand, left lane

A little poem of love for
a teen driving dangerously


Right hand driving
Fast, hence left lane
On the road again
From West to East
From Left to Right
And back again
High speed, I know

Your little secret

It´s the hole in your pocket.
I know you did it on purpose.
Irish red-head swinging to the East.
Singing a song of love and longing.

Who are you? Old enough to drive?
A sexy hole in your pocket.
So you can drive very fast?

Your button of love

I know your dirty little secret.
You press your special button
All th... Continue»
Posted by petdyke 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 618  |  
88%
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Space Alien Girlfriend Goes Home



I met Angelica at my favorite Sports Bar. She was beautiful and I was dumb struck by this petite Scandinavian blond with an absolutely perfect body. Well, after a few days I got to know Angelica, our first evening ended with me getting a blow job at her place. But this is only the beginning of a new lifestyle that would change my life. You see Angelica is a space alien from the planet Gliesie, the closest habitable planet to earth. She told me that both Earth and Gliesie were biology experiments by a race of super beings. Gliesie, the more peaceful planet thrived and mastered the science o... Continue»
Posted by captjim51 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 500  |  
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SEX IN KUALA LUMPUR

I would like to share my sex enjoyment in Malaysia. I was travelling to Kuala Lumpur for Technical meeting. I arrived Kl at 9apm and went from airport to my hotel. It was about 11pm. I was tired and was looking forward to rest as soon as room was given. The receptionist was charming, sexy with very good figure. She smiled and welcome me. The room was given and I started to move to my room. She requested me to wait as someone will accompany me to my room with my luggage. As there was no bell boy around she accompanied me. She briefed me about the facilities in the room and then left. I rested ... Continue»
Posted by fukkerguy 1 year ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor  |  Views: 3739  |  
88%
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I Went Home with Some Guy after the Bar

My friends and I had arranged to go meet up at a bar then go out clubbing. It was a warm summer evening so over my black lacy underwear I wore a tight little white skirt that stopped an inch higher than mid-thigh and a sleeveless strappy white top, which showed through my black lacy bra. I knew the bra pushed up my boobs making them look larger and sure to draw the eye of the any guys! I brushed my shoulder length dark hair until it was straight and glossy, did my makeup and grabbed my white 2 inch heels to give me a bit more height; as I am kind of short.

I met my friends at the bar and we... Continue»
Posted by PureCoffee 3 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1537  |  
88%
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Cathy,s Thong lacy underwear !!

Hi all this is my first story so please leave comments.

First of all this is and 100% true story as all of mine will be.

This all started to give you some back ground in and place called Ocean City Maryland.
I was on vacation with my mother at the beach on 32nd street right ocean front with and great balcony view of the girls sun bathing ahhh yes.
At this time I am and teenager myself and so is the young lady in this story. I met some other guys the same age as me and we all had and laugh looking at the bades sunning with there sun tanned perfect shaped tans.

One of the guys said to... Continue»
Posted by newz777 1 year ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 2997  |  
88%
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Little Johnny and Grandad.

Little Johnny was in the chemist with his grandad who was getting some medication for himself. He told Johnny that it’s going to take about ten minutes to fill out and he was not to tough anything but only look around. The ten year old Johnny found something in the shop that he knew all about and thought he would have some fun with the old man by trying to embarrass him.
“Grandad, quick come here.” “What Johnny what?” asked grandad. Johnny pointed to a shelf and asked, “what are they grandad.”
Grandad saw what it was and knew what Johnny was trying to do and started smiling at him.
“Well J... Continue»
Posted by royby 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 1008  |  
87%
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Another Vacation

Have you ever had that friend that you imagine what they look like naked? Well my s****r's mother-in-law is a woman I wanted to see naked. She is 62 years of sexy, soft silky legs, reddish brown curly hair, nipples that poke your eyes out with pleasure. As we spend Labor Day weekend at a Resort. Relaxing in the indoor water park, watching her float on the lazy river all spread out on a tub. OH... how I like to feast on that camel toe, she was sporting. I had to get a tub and float on my stomach and catch up to her as she floats on the back side through a tunnel. She had her back to me as I pad... Continue»
Posted by Gehld 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1186  |  
87%
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COCONUT CREAM


When I was twenty-five, I had a job as the manager of a frozen
yogurt store in San Diego. I was often playfully teased by one
of my employees, Michelle, a nineteen year old sprite with a nice
full figure. She liked to jump on my back and mess up my hair.
I'd joked many times about putting her across my knee, but I was
only bluffing. It became kind of an inside thing between us.

"Watch out for Alex!" She once warned a new female employee.
"He'll take you to the woodshed!"

One evening we were closing the store and Michelle was hurrying
because she was going out with some friends l... Continue»
Posted by meatloaf90 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 930  |  
87%
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Study Break to Fuck a d***k Slut

This incident happened during my first year in college. It was a Thursday night, which meant that most people at my state school were out partying, drinking, and having a good time. Unfortunately, I had to take an exam the next day, so I was stuck in my dorm, studying.

I was busy reading in my floor's common room until well after midnight, when all the students eventually returned from their nights of debauchery at one of the campus frat houses or wherever they had been. Most of them were, of course, d***k off their asses. They were stumbling back to their rooms either singing too loudly, l... Continue»
Posted by PureCoffee 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 2845  |  
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A Trip To The Mall Proves Messy

I really hate going shopping around the holidays. My wife has shopping lists the length of her arm and sometimes if I don’t go with her she’ll spend money like there’s no tomorrow. But I can only take so much walking around in those damn malls. I can’t keep my damn eyes focused on where I am supposed to be going and wind up walking into other people because of all the damn eye candy in the damn place. I have never seen so much damn young pussy walking around in one place in my life. The ratio must be 15 females to each guy. And when I say girls I mean the average female must only be 18 or 19 y... Continue»
Posted by bigsoftee 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 4176  |  
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Theater Fun!

So we have a new story for you guys! This past weekend we went to the movies to catch a flick, but there was nothing really we wanted to see. So we ended up seeing a movie we had already seen a few weeks back. So the movie started and we were watching, and it just got boring. I was just way to boring, so we (like a couple of high school teenagers) started making out hard! We were just kissing like we had never seen each other before. Now this is like 15 minutes into the movie mind you. So while Kate is kissing me she starts undoing my belt. Sweet, I know where this is going! Now we were like 3... Continue»
Posted by Mikekate10 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 1423  |  
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Quickie Sensual Blowjob

Alright people this is my first attempt at a short story and it came from the help of an xhamster friend, thanks "Mouthlove"

I would choose the one next to her with the sensual and sexy face and the piercing eyes. Now how would like for her to please me well I would have to say while we were at a private night club and we had a semi secluded table and we had been flirting and teasing each other immensely and so she tells me to sit back and relax and she has a gift and surprise for me so she slides down my body and lowers my zipper and pulls out my cock and slowly starts to lick around the ... Continue»
Posted by flmixxer40 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 245  |  
87%
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Tammy's parents the swingers, "oh the 70

One night I was home alone with my wife's mother Regina. She had flown out to visit us from back east for a few weeks. On this perticular night Tammy was at a Bikram Yoga class and her mother was alone at our house. I was supposed to be working late at the office preparing for a merger our company was soon to undergo but some complications came to light and things were going to be delayed so I was able to leave early.

Regina thought she was going to have the place to herself, was in our living room, drinking champagne, snorting lines of cocaine, watching porn and preparing to fuck herself w... Continue»
Posted by Johnnytames69 3 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 1946  |  
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The Glamorous Granny

1986 or possibly 1987, I was in my mid 20's and going out with Viv, a
BBC TV producer who was both gorgeous, and incredibly .

During Whitsun week I found myself some hundred miles away from her,
at a Holiday camp in South Wales, as bassist in a hastily put together
backing band for a fading glam rocker who was appearing for a week's
residency. I will call him Rocky for the sake of argument, but I do not
refer to Handsome b**sts frontman Rocky Shades here, though we do know
him.

Rocky's tastes in recreation would not pass the filters here, shall we
say.

So there we we... Continue»
Posted by DrVonWankenstein 5 months ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 2736  |  
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Auntie Haley, s****r Lilly and my fucked up world.

"How are you going pencil dick, have you had a wank today" it was fun being woken from a great wet dream with those words from my s****r Lilly! We had developed a sort of love/hate relationship since the numerous encounters around the house this year.

I wasn't exactly sure where I stood with her, firstly she would be nice to me and then not so. Lilly had made it a habit of sneaking into my room late at night to administer my 'punishment' This started with an insult to which I would ignore to be followed by a hand reaching under my covers and grabbing my cock. She wa... Continue»
Posted by taboobeast 4 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 2374  |  
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The New Sexual Awakening Part 4

Trevor found himself lying half naked in a bush, his shirt was off and his pants were around his ankles.

"How did I get here!" he asked himself.

He looked around at his surroundings and as he picked up his clothes which were strewn across the yard his memory came flooding back.

Several hours earlier...

Trevor had made a huge mess of things. His Spring Break visit was supposed to be a time to reconnect with his f****y but instead he brought a boozed up Bar Fly home for a romp in his Superman sheets.

After a weekend of apologising he had finally set things right with his mother ... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 726  |  
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A slight problem.

This is a story that is both part fiction and part truth.

You see, the thing is, I am something of a masochist. I like pain. Now, I'm not into the hardcore stuff like taking jumper cables to the sack or being stomped on by stiletto heels. I just like the light stuff, maybe some smacking around, hair pulling, and some of that. I might even be able to be talked into being whipped. I won't be tied though. The desperate urge to be able to defend myself should (God forbid) halfway through my bondage session, my mistress decides she didn't like the fact that I had lunch with a fema... Continue»
Posted by SinSeeker 4 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 331  |  
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Jenny and lesbian sex, tonight with my daddy

'Can you see him'?

'Of course, he does it naked', she replied. Not quite the shocked little girl, but a girl with a vampish twist inside her.

'So you both see each other and you finish up whacking one out'?

She smiled coyly and a pinkish tinge bathed her smooth complexion, 'It's OK', I added, 'I have let me watch me frig my pussy'.

Her smile widened, showing her pearly whites, each tooth looked as if the individually flossed each one, I could only imagine her rubbing herself as the old man who peered through her open curtains each night, jacked off to her beautiful body as it writh... Continue»
Posted by MarieL 2 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1556  |  
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