Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 78

Temp Job (You'll like it...it's the best

Temp job as limo driver has definite benefits...a celebrity story...

Temp Job (You'll like it...it's the best)

I have a confession to make. They say confession is good for the soul, so here I am. Now that I am this hot sex fantasy writer on this sex fantasy website, people have been expecting me to keep coming up with hot stories. But the truth of the matter is, my sex life has not really been all that exciting. If I had to write the Kama Sutra it would only be one page. In 48 years on the planet, I really have not had that many exciting sexual experiences. I already told y... Continue»
Posted by Exakta66 3 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Sex Humor  |  Views: 827  |  
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The Picture Album

A really good friend of mine, who occasionally roomed with me, had a breakup with his girl friend. After taking a majority of her personal items she asked that he return the last few items she left behind when she left. One important item she mentioned to him was a set of photo albums. While she didn’t want the entire album set, she did want to go thru them and choose the photos she wanted to take out of them. So, as his best friend I volunteered to be the arbitrator for the albums. We arranged to have her come to my place one evening and go thru the albums on a day that he was working so that... Continue»
Posted by bigsoftee 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 1632  |  
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OOPS! That is not my husband!

My husband and I had gone on this trip to get away from our jobs, the k**s, and everything else that seemed to have us burned out. We stayed at this really nice hotel and we fucked like teenagers. My husband fucked me every chance he got. We went to this party at a big house, it had several levels and decks. We were mingling and drinking. I had a really good buzz going when my husband and I stumbled on a secluded hot tub. There was a guy already in the tub, we thought that if we started making out he would get out and go away. We started making out and getting very involved. I decided that I w... Continue»
Posted by zimabean 5 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 7315  |  
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Crack Addict

Crack Addict
1:05PM on April 28, 2008


... Ever had a panty job ?

...you know .. kinda like an upgraded dry hump ?

..It's wear you get your partner to drop their pants / dress .. they lay on their stomach on a bed, couch or chair while you grind and rub your cock into the crack of their ass until you get off.

I know a lot of you reading this post are like ... why not just stuff you cock into the offending orifice and be done with it ?
Answer: Because that shit is boring and lacks imagination. Plus a panty job can be steamy and hot leading to intense sexxual encounters l... Continue»
Posted by mondotoken 5 years ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 984  |  
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A Surprise BJ

"Oh my God! That girl's booty is SO fat!" laughed Rico as Elyse walked by. "You think you can get with that, T? Elyse Greer is the FINEST girl at Sanctuary High School. If you got with her, you would be top dog around here."





Those words stuck with me all my junior and senior years of high school. Elyse really was one of the most beautiful girls at SHS, but that is not why she was the most desirable; guys wanted her because they couldn't have her. Elyse was a good girl in the body every bad girl wanted. She had the most perfect DD tits that would make Pam Anderson cry and butt so jui... Continue»
Posted by ballzyturtl 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 613  |  
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My Sexy And Hot Mami



Hi! All reader I am male from Gujarat and I am writing my true story first time. Let me tell u that my English is so low so u finds lot of mistake in my writing but I assure u that u like my true experience. Let’s come to story I am 20 yr old living in small town in Gujarat in my f****y my father mother me and my s****r r there. We are living in city area. Where we have lot of neighbours but one is special for me.

I like alder ladies then girls and the big assets always attract me. One of our neighbors named Chaya. She is 44 yr old she is my fantasy and I always have a crush to fuck he... Continue»
Posted by fairpussy 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 881  |  
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THE ITALIAN WEDDING

THE ITALIAN WEDDING

I was a very happy man.
My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year.
So we decided to get married.

There was only one little thing bothering me..

It was her beautiful younger s****r, Sofia.

My prospective s****r-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was Bra-less.

She would regularly bend down when she was near me.
I always got more than a nice view.

It had to be deliberate.
She never did it around anyone else.

One day she called me and asked me to come over.
'To check my s****r's wedding- invitatio... Continue»
Posted by tetamata 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 744  |  
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back seat blowy

I had just broke up with my ex and met a girl in a town 30 mins away and my buddy was interested in her friend so it was good for both of us to drive there, we got there and the girls looked great and being kinda hick my buddy and i looks well hick, we went to a movie and then got a bit to eat (it was summer and nice out) we then desided that we could both push i luck if we go outta town were there was a park so we went there and me and the girl i hard my eye on went to the play ground and my buddy and his girl were walking around me and the girl started making out and bein inosent she was a l... Continue»
Posted by freek0418 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 717  |  
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Mall Sex

Great embarrassment filled my body. I'd never been caught having sex before and this was a whole lot different from most embarrassment.
I was hiding behind Jovanne's warm body and his arms slid around me, covering me and I was deeply surprised that he was putting his whole body out there just to cover for me. I slowly peered over his shoulder, breathing deeply and when I saw the face, it made me sigh with releif and I swore.
"What the fuck is going on? Emily? Holy mother fucker." Shyla hissed, glaring at both of us and I was surprised by her language. I raised a perfect brow, stepping of f... Continue»
Posted by milli214 3 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 1224  |  
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Make Yourself Cum

Let me start by saying I have an over active sex drive. I could be doing anything, and suddenly I become unexpectedly aroused. Sometimes even the littlest things can set me off anything from putting clothes in the washer to an erotic glance from an interesting stranger. The smell of fresh cut grass, and the feel of it on my bare feet can bring back a flow of memories of previous outdoor sexual experiences.

Anyway when the urge hits me unexpectedly, I choose to masturbate and after the last time I decided to share my personal experience with everyone..


I ran to my bedroom and sla... Continue»
Posted by rime923091 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 646  |  
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Nice Ass

Back in the days when hubby and I were still more together than apart we were walking one day by the front.Not in season...not specially warm...not many about.

We saw him at the same time,standing on his own with his head bowed tied to a rail.Don't know if he was alone but there was nobody about and he looked rather sad.As we drew closer hubby said "Fuckin' hell! Look at that"...
I could see the massive cock swinging between his legs and I thought I wouldn't be sad with a cock like that to play with.

Don't ever fucking dare to say that my shitbag hubby and I are kindred spirits but as I... Continue»
Posted by Janeandthedonkey 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 1343  |  
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The Devil And The Golfer

A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a
couple of strokes. The golfer says to himself, "I'd give anything to
sink this next putt."
A stranger walks up to him and whispers, "Would you give up a fourth
of your sex life?"
The golfer thinks the man is crazy and that his answer will be
meaningless but also that perhaps this is a good omen and will put him
in the right frame of mind to make the difficult putt and says, "OK."
And sinks the putt.
Two holes later he mumbles to himself, "Boy, if I could only get an
eagle on this hole."
The same stranger ... Continue»
Posted by papa61 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 494  |  
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Where I've Been...


Hey guys and gals,

sorry it's been a while since I was last on, you won't believe
what's happened to me!

To cut a long story short, my s****r found out about me on here and saw my story of what she did to me when we was younger, needless to say,
she was very pissed off with me.

She confronted me about it and as I apologised to her she told me to get down on my knees and kiss her feet for forgiveness. Naturally, I did as I was told and when I got down on my knees, she kicked the shoe off her foot and lifted her foot up so her sole was right infront of my face. Now, she had been wo... Continue»
Posted by LittleMissFart 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 1252  |  
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A slight problem.

This is a story that is both part fiction and part truth.

You see, the thing is, I am something of a masochist. I like pain. Now, I'm not into the hardcore stuff like taking jumper cables to the sack or being stomped on by stiletto heels. I just like the light stuff, maybe some smacking around, hair pulling, and some of that. I might even be able to be talked into being whipped. I won't be tied though. The desperate urge to be able to defend myself should (God forbid) halfway through my bondage session, my mistress decides she didn't like the fact that I had lunch with a fema... Continue»
Posted by SinSeeker 4 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 331  |  
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COCONUT CREAM


When I was twenty-five, I had a job as the manager of a frozen
yogurt store in San Diego. I was often playfully teased by one
of my employees, Michelle, a nineteen year old sprite with a nice
full figure. She liked to jump on my back and mess up my hair.
I'd joked many times about putting her across my knee, but I was
only bluffing. It became kind of an inside thing between us.

"Watch out for Alex!" She once warned a new female employee.
"He'll take you to the woodshed!"

One evening we were closing the store and Michelle was hurrying
because she was going out with some friends l... Continue»
Posted by meatloaf90 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 932  |  
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Another Party

This happened last Halloween, I was home from my first year of college. Our small town always has a large all adult halloween party at the community center. I bet over three hundred people show up. My friend and I have been sneaking in the last three years. It is alot of fun as there are some very racy costumes and someone always get in a fight. Not to mention all the d***ks that stumble around. And we both have managed to get laid every time we have gone.
This year we had to sneak in again as we are not over twenty one. We had on pirate costumes to help hide who we are. So we mingled ar... Continue»
Posted by zimabean 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 2049  |  
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My Friend Fucking My Wife Like A Whore

My wife Sara and I have been married for almost five years and we are still as in love now as the day we met. I met her at work and we just instantly hit it off and began dating and a year and a half later got married. Sara is thirty seven years old and twelve years older then me and has two k**s a son and a daughter so I guess she is a M.I.L.F. People refuse to believe how old she is when they hear her age because she looks like she is in her twenty's. She had blond hair with black highlights, green eyes and a tight body which is stacked. I know that I am a lucky son of a bitch because beside... Continue»
Posted by vanilla_gorilla699 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Hardcore  |  Views: 2285  |  
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Sybian Training

Dear Diary,

Today was the most horrible day of my life. It all started going wrong when my old boss (and I do mean 'old'), Mr. Schmidt, took a leave of absence due to health reasons. He was old, but he was also a secretary's dream boss. Okay, he was a little wrinkly and a little smelly, which made it no fun going down on him, but on the bright side, I only had to go down on him once . . . maybe twice a week. He would even ask my opinion on things and pretty much let me take care of most of his assignments without a lot of interference. And a woman being able to work without a lot of interfe... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 741  |  
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The Italiano..!!

An Italian man enters his favorite ritzy restaurant and while sitting at his regular table, he notices a gorgeous woman sitting at a nearby table. ...Alone. He calls the waiter over and asks for the most expensive bottle of Merlot to be sent over to her, knowing that if she accepts it, she will be his. The waiter gets the bottle and quickly takes it to her saying who it came from. She looks at the bottle and decides to send a note over to the man. The note said "For me to accept this bottle, you must have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank , and 7 inches in your pants.." ... Continue»
Posted by papa61 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 619  |  
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Little Johnny and Grandad.

Little Johnny was in the chemist with his grandad who was getting some medication for himself. He told Johnny that it’s going to take about ten minutes to fill out and he was not to tough anything but only look around. The ten year old Johnny found something in the shop that he knew all about and thought he would have some fun with the old man by trying to embarrass him.
“Grandad, quick come here.” “What Johnny what?” asked grandad. Johnny pointed to a shelf and asked, “what are they grandad.”
Grandad saw what it was and knew what Johnny was trying to do and started smiling at him.
“Well J... Continue»
Posted by royby 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 1006  |  
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