Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 77

Fourth of July Slumber Party

This Fourth of July started out just like any other. Little did I know that this day would change my life forever. I went over to my boyfriend's house in the middle of the afternoon for the f****y picnic. The plan was for me to watch fireworks with Danny, my boyfriend, and his f****y and then take his s****r, Whitney, to their aunt's house.

The day went exactly as planned. We went to Danny's grandparents' house for dinner, then to the park to watch fireworks. After fireworks, I gave Danny a kiss goodbye then Whitney and I drove to their aunt's house.

"Want to come up and have a few dri... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Velma cums clean with Shaggy

Shaggy felt cold slobber on his face, waking him immediately. "Oh man, Scooby..." he groaned. Scooby-Doo, his Great Dane, began giggling and licked his face again. Shaggy responded by a scratch between his brown ears. "Norville!!" a female voice called from upstairs. "Come and get breakfast!"

"Mom, like, stop calling me that!"

"As long as you're still living in my basement, I'll call you whatever I like, now get your breakfast!"

Shaggy looked at Scooby and said, "Like, well, let's get something to eat." Food was his primary motivation in doing anything.

Shaggy ran up the stairs, cl... Continue»
Posted by shmoe13 4 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Dad is boss

I have a strange story. My dad had a high sex drive and I could hear he and mom fuck many times every night. He also fucked her every morning before they got up. My room was next to theirs and I could hear it all. I was the oldest of four k**s. I had two s****rs and a b*****r younger than me. We were all home schooled and seldom left our farm. My mom was a sexy looking woman and dad was very handsome. I could see why they fucked all the time. I walked in the kitchen one time when dad had his hand under moms dress and was fingering her pussy as she stood in front of the sink. When I walked in h... Continue»
Posted by justfordaddy 1 year ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Farm job

My wife and I own alot of property,and a few horses.I am 6 foot tall 220 and about 8 inches.She is 5'2 about 140 and has 38dd tits,mm nice. Ok we got a horse that was about 2 years old.One day it seemed to be a little down so i called the vet.Lora asked me what the vet said. "he said the horse,Sam we called him,was in need of some attention.he said if I jerk it off the thing will be fine." She laughed.So reluctant to do it i asked my wife if she would please help me.It took some persuation but it was for Sam's health so she finally agreed to help,but seemed disgusted be it.
[image]http://2
... Continue»
Posted by sexybirsen 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Funniest story ever!! ...Enjoy

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful younger s****r.

My prospective s****r-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate because she never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day her 'little' s****r called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I ... Continue»
Posted by thedurbnow 5 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Malini having sex with milkman

When Malini got married to Devender, people who attended their wedding said the match is not alright. Because Malini was a cute short statured, delicate beauty, whereas Devemder was a seven footer, with large limbs fit for a basket ball player or a boxer. Malini had done her graduation in Hindi and Devender also did his grad. and was working in a govt. office.

He liked to eat good and tasty food and malini was an expert cook. But in the bedroom he was a brute. He never talked to her small niceties or did anything by way of foreplay. When he feels like sex, he just sticks his penis into her ... Continue»
Posted by lildudexst 2 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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The Dentist Put Her Under and Put It in Her

"It's a wreck, is what it is," Tommy Cordova half mumbled through the gauze of the surgical mask, his face bent closely to Kate's face, the polished steel mirror working to varying angles in her mouth.

I heard Kate stifle a sob, her right eye doing a minute tic towards where I stood, arms crossed, sagged in the corner of the exam room.

Tommy straightened up after another moment and slipped the magnified safety glasses off his face. "Two molars are shot. The one furthest back looks okay."

"I don't want 'em pulled," Kate mumbled, lifting up in the dental chair just a bit.

"Gotta come... Continue»
Posted by PureCoffee 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Episode 42 - Girl loses the Horse Cock

Introduction
By now, if you’ve been following this mini-series you should have read:
'Girl with the Horse Cock' Parts 1 and 2, uploaded by Drew Robbins from Indiana (see link in My Favourites),
My story, called 'Episode 40 – Girl with the Horse Cock',
and finally the slightly unusual 'Girl with the Horse Cock Part 3' (see My Favourites again).

If you haven’t the time here is a very brief synopsis:
We first met Amy – the girl with the Horse-cock in Part 1 – it was the result of a dreadful accident, swallowing a drop of pure Horse DNA on a school trip to the experimental horse br... Continue»
Posted by dasx2 7 months ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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My wifes new job

Angela got ready for her first day of work at the LE
GIRLS agency in downtown Manhattan. She felt anxious
but mostly disgusted with having to get the job. It was
only because of her husband that she got it to begin
with. He had lost another job and now hung around the
house in his underwear looking shabby and mostly
pathetic. Life had been very difficult most times with
him but now they were near impossible. Even their sex
life suffered. Where once they had sex every night, now
they barely had it once a month.

She looked at herself in the mirror. Not too bad she
thought... Continue»
Posted by griffen1 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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"A Day In A Life"

Bill had left for work an hour earlier. His last action before shutting the door was a perfunctory kiss on her cheek as he hurried out the door, his mind already occupied on the day's events. Again, he had missed the significance of her squeeze on his upper arm; again he missed entirely, the questioning look she gave his retreating back.

"Jay; get up, you're going to be late." Jean shouted at the top of her voice over the edge of the banister. Jamie was a typical angst ridden teenage young man, lazy and disinclined to venture out of bed before the last minute, or he had ... Continue»
Posted by fotoplace 5 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Wow... Random woman dry humps me at Target? (10/1

Not good with writing stories, just joined x hamster a few months ago, but anyways this is a true story it just happened to me earlier today. (10/1/11)

So my mom and i went to to Target to get some stuff, and like i normally do at most stores i go check out the electronics section and game section while my mom shops for food and stuff. So im checking out the new game releases for xbox like MW3 and Battlefield, then i see a shelf full of these cool funny shirts in the mens clothing department. As i was reading all of these funny shirts i briefly looked up and my eyes met this woman who was s... Continue»
Posted by PigtailPuller 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Surprise!

Here I was, on a Sunday night, going in the club to have some fun.
After few hours of dancing and drinking, one pretty girl came and asked me to dance with her. Looking at her I saw that she`s not a "grenade" so I was thinking maybe I will have some fun tonight so we started dancing. After a while I started rubbing her ass, then I kissed her...OMG she was such a good kisser.
After she broke the kiss she asked me to come to her place and I was so excited that i took her hand and put it to feel my boner.
She gigled and we start walking to her place.
As soon as we arrived..i couldnt stop ki... Continue»
Posted by mercander 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  
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Big Boobs and a Bit of Luck

One of the many jobs I have had was at an electronics store which was pretty boring, except for the rare times when I would get to serve a hot busty customer.

I remember the first time that Sara walked in the door. It was a hot summers day, she was probably about 155cm (about 5'2" I think) she had a purple singlet top on, that barely could contain her bountiful breasts, with tight fitting 3/4 cutoff blue jeans and her short blonde hair pulled back in a pony tail. I'm a bit of a boob hound, so I was guessing a DD minimum but more likely an E cup.

As she walked in, I got a great look at h... Continue»
Posted by Luvboobs15 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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k**napped!


A little lesbian tale of sex slavery that I hope you will find amusing.


It had been, frankly, a rather wretched Friday. It started badly when Mr Jameson, the chief librarian, trapped me (again) in Maritime History (M to R) and practically wrestled me to the floor. When I told him for the umpteenth time that my interests lay in a different direction, he rather breezily replied that he was 'up for a 69 if that's what you mean'. Eventually I fought him off with a leather bound copy of A History of Nelson (Vol 2). Then, over lunch I had to listen to Maure... Continue»
Posted by Sapphiclover 5 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Brian and Lois

One day Lois came home from the store,Peter was still at work,Chris and Meg were still at school and Stewie was fast asl**p in his bedroom.She called out for Brian I got some of your favorite treats at the store Brian!Come sit on my lap Brian,she petted him and brushed his fur,say Brian how would you like to use that long K9 tongue on my hungry red bush?"Would I Lois",I thought you'd never ask!Lois slid her pants off and tossed her panties on the floor.Ooh I'm getting so wet thinking about your tongue on my pussy Brian leaned in tasting the musky damp wetness between Lois's thighs,he began to ... Continue»
Posted by goo4u 3 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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My friend Jerry returns

Jerry and I had been friends since we were nine or 10 years old, we played together, and learned about girls together over the next couple years as we started puberty. Whenever we were alone together we would talk about girls and get so horny and masturbate together. I don't remember exactly when, but at some point we both became curious and began to wonder what it was like to touch another guys cock and so it began as we explored each other. We both found it very exciting to touch and play with each other and before long we were giving each other blow jobs. I really liked taking Jerry's soft ... Continue»
Posted by querico44 2 years ago  |  Categories: Gay Male, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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The Past of the Great Takuri and his Gift

January 30. 2012
This is my first Journal entry. Why do people write a journal? Probably because they’re lonely. But I, the great Takuri, or at least that’s what I’m calling myself these days, am never lonely. No I’m writing this journal so that other people can see, can read what great things I’ve done and where I’ve erred. It feels like I’m writing the truth. As a magician I spent my whole life living in illusions, bending the truth both to the audience but also to my humble self, now it feels like I can finally tell the whole story, you can’t go to somebody who you are manipulating and tel... Continue»
Posted by shanina 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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The Agony & Ecstacy

Out of town on assignment, I was staying with my friends in an upscale part of town..MONEY! He was out of town for the day, and I, was house sitting during the evening. His wife was out with her girls friends, partying it up.

It was a boring evening channel surfing and reading a book. The book as better than TV and I was on my 2nd glass of wine, when I heard the rear door open.

In waltzed, very carefully, Linda, who appears very sexy and quite too much to drink. She leaned against the wall trying to, gracefully, remove her shoes. Her long hair, plus her low cut tank top displayed a fine... Continue»
Posted by silverfox62 3 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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MY FAV JOKES

Patient to doctor: The problem is that obesity runs in our f****y. Doctor to patient: No.............the problem's that no one runs in your f****y.

I was walking home late one night and saw a woman in the shadows.
"Ten pounds . ." she whispers.
I'd never been with a prostiture before, so i decided, it’s only a tenner,why not, So we hide in the bushes.
Were going at it for a minute or so when all of a sudden a light flashes on us. It’s a policeman.,"Ello ello ello,What’s going on here, " asks the officer.
"I’m making love to my wife!, " i answered indignantly.
"Oh, I’m sorry, " say... Continue»
Posted by icumonu 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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She Doesn't Like Girls

A few weekends ago I picked my girlfriend (as in, my friend who is a woman) up from the airport.

I met her about a month after she turned 18 and first had a threesome with her and the man we had in common upon our very first meeting. We had been chatting and flirting prior to meeting. We'd exchange pics and share our favorite porn over emails and texts, getting excited for our first meeting in a week or so. We loved the same kind of porn and we talked about how fun meeting up would be with our common lover. That was February 2012 and we are still very close friends…

When I picked her up... Continue»
Posted by Missy_X 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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