Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 77

Fantasy Comes True

It was late one night when my doorbell rang. I opened up to find my best friend Jacob standing on the front step. He looked like hell so I knew something was up.
“Hey Dave, sorry I know it’s late, but can I crash here tonight?” he asked. Jacob and I were friends since we were in diapers so of course he knew my place was his place if he ever needed.
“Of course dude”, I replied gesturing him inside. “What’s up? Where’s Kathy?” Kathy was Jacob’s wife, a rather sexy blonde with a great pair of tits, but also a brutal temper. I always secretly wondered why he put up with her, but fr... Continue»
Posted by jeffrey16 5 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 6031  |  
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The Audition Part One

And so began my screening interview and my first adventure into the world of adult films. Once I got past all the legal bullshit the questions were kind of fun to answer.

Had I ever had gay sex before?

"Everyone in the room seemed gay and happy about what I was doing to them at the time."

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There was a guest speaker for the monthly meeting of the Pleasant Town Trans-gender League. This guy was so full of shit it wasn't funny. He supposedly represented someone wanting to do a documentary... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  Views: 708  |  
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i miss that job

Once I was working in the Accounts department, and one of the office girls had some difficulty in doing an entry. She called me over and asked if I could show her the correct way. I went near her chair and was standing to see the transaction. She turned around and her hand accidentally touched my fly. I adjusted a little bit and her face turned red. I told her, “It’s OK - it happens.” But she flushed and put my hand on her shoulder. I told her, "It's OK," again. Then she put her hand on my hand, planted a kiss on it, and dragged it down to her boob. I was surprised and pleased. I reached in fr... Continue»
Posted by rickyfofi 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 1385  |  
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Sarah has a wild experience

It was a hot sunny day as Sarah left school, she often rode home on her bike, sometimes stopping off in the park on the way. Today was no different,the heat was getting to her. The plastic of her saddle was making her knickers damp, peddling to an old tree that had fallen down in the park. Consedering last week it had done nothing but rain the tree was now dry enough to sit on which is exactly what she did.
Propping her bike at the end she sat with her legs either side and just laid back enjoying the sun, her short skirt rising up as she laid back and stretched out. Her knickers still damp ... Continue»
Posted by stewart166 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 1278  |  
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Greasing the wheels

This Down Freedom Road thing, this journey of self-discovery, is taking me places I'd never dreamt of going, - porn-wise that is. I know that no-body cares a fuck, but I keep wanting to update my Profile so as to reflect what has been learnt this week...... Perhaps two steps back and a reappraisal are in order.

For example, the great leap forward was in joining the world of positive porn, - where one bares the chest (at least), comes out into the open, discusses sex, kinks and perversions with other lovely perverts, contributes an idea or two. That was the change-ov... Continue»
Posted by dandrew1 3 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 186  |  
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Fun After Flu

A few weeks ago Wifey came home from work she announced to me that she was feeling as horny as hell!. Due to a being downed with a huge dose of the 'flu from hell' I'd been neglecting her for a couple of weeks or three, consequently she was now feeling pretty much deranged with sexual need. Thinking about sex all day while she was at work she'd decided to run the gauntlet of catching the last dregs of my flu by shamelessly seducing me when she came home .

Seemingly unsure of how to proceed she finally threw caution to the wind and came to sit close by me as I sat on the sette... Continue»
Posted by stimslut 2 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 494  |  
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Going Fishin'

Introduction: A tale with a twist

Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect backwoods camping and fishing trip.

Two days before the group is to leave, Frank's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Frank's friends are very upset that he can't go but, what can they do...

Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Frank sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and fish cooking on the fire. "Damn man! How long you been here and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?"

"Well, I've been here since yesterday. The night bef... Continue»
Posted by PornApocalypse 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 702  |  
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the cook

At the time I was only a teen. At a point where every teenage boy had desires and fantasies. Well I lived in a house with 3 bedrooms. My parents room then came my s****rs room which was next to my parents. And my room which was next to my s****rs. Mine was the furthest. Well my mom owned a resteraunt and all of her workers were latin women.
Woah did I fantasize about them. One worker was Big but had a nice ass and huge tits. Cute lady. My mom had hired a 23 year old Mexican chick. Woah was she curvy. She had a firm ass and c cup tits. She was fucking sexy. About 5’ feet and thin.
Well this g... Continue»
Posted by lonelywolf91 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1157  |  
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While The f****y Are Away His Cock Comes Out To Pl

True story as my darling bappy currently fondles my boobs. its not the easiest job for a pregnant woman to do hahaha

Anyways.. I'll get on with it and get you men and women on your way to some orgasms like what we had earlier.

My parents and youngest s****r left on a saturday and my gorgeous hubby to be arrived at the house a few hours later. Sadly we had to wait until my other s****r left with her "friend" (with benefits which she won't believe is what they are but considering if you awoke through the night you'd hear her bedsprings going crazy.) Saturday night arrived not quic... Continue»
Posted by maaao 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1021  |  
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my girls asshole !!!

i am with my girlfriend six months and she is bi. she has a great body and firm breasts!! one thing that i did not like was her asshole.. it was hairy and i said to her that i did not like it and she said it was to awkward to shae that area and she asked me would i do it!!!! i asked her would she get her female friend to do it and let me watch!!!she was hesitant at first but then she quite liked the idea!! a weekend came and her bisexual girlfriend came over ... i popped the bottles of wine andone woed led to another and before i knew it her girlfriend said she would shave it for her!(the wine... Continue»
Posted by drakesin 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 548  |  
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Walk in the woods

I was taking a walk one spring evening in the hills behind my house. When I rounded a bend, a strange sight suddenly confronted me: a man in bright colored clothing was coming towards me. When he saw me, he made an exaggerated stop and promptly walked up to me and pulled a flower from behind my ear. He gave it to me with an elaborate bow, then beckoned me to follow him. By now, this strange clown had caught my interest, so I was more than willing to follow him. I have been fascinated by clowns since I was a k**, and this one wasn’t bad to look at either.

He led me to a wooded, seclude... Continue»
Posted by X_PAC6969 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 618  |  
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Where are you ?

I was really hoping that I could have you next to me doing as you command, granting your every wish right now, twisting your G-spot like hurricane katrina. Smacking my cock right at the tip of your of wet lips. You feel me? Mmm your moan feeds my hunger, my hunger grows with each waking breath, while your legs lay wrapped around my neck squeezing tighter, as pleasure has overwhelmed your body. Your lips touch mine, as my fingers run through your hair. Sweat covers the both of us as the heat from our connection grows stronger, your juices engulf my mouth with a taste of pure pleasure.... Continue»
Posted by in2ideas44 4 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 369  |  
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Last Night

So last night me and my wife where in our living room watching movies, and she started to fall asl**p. So I said hey I know your not sl**ping, because everytime I spend a lot of time ppicking out these movies and everytime you fall asl**p. she said I'm sorry baby I'm so tired I can't keep my eyes open can you help me stay awake. I looked at her like ???? what? She said maybe be if you put that big daddy dick in my fat wet pussy I might be able to stay awake.
I said I think I can keep you up. So she slowly untied my shorts and pulled my dick out and put it against her face lik... Continue»
Posted by leneddy 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 549  |  
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Joke..

A married couple is lying in bed one night. The wife is curled up, ready to go to sl**p, and the husband turns his bed lamp on to read a book. As he’s reading, he periodically reaches over to his wife and fondles her special area. He does this a few times, but only for a very short interval before returning to read his book.

The wife gradually becomes more and more aroused and, assuming that her husband is seeking some encouragement before going further, Gets up and starts stripping in front of him.

The husband is confused and asks, "Why are you taking off your clothes?"

His wife repl... Continue»
Posted by papa61 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 531  |  
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Freeze frame.

Watching her in the shower is a thrill, the slow fall of water flowing down her caramel skin legs, wr****g around those perfectly toned thighs long lean, graceful every move of the wash cloth over her flat stomach, bubbles gathering in her belly button praying to call it home, with her quick spin on the heels of her feet they are whipped away, shoulders elegantly dropped feeling the water rush over her short light brown hair, with soap on her face I make my move, open the door and slip right in, standing from behind my hands firmly grasp her arms and slide down to her hands fingers interlock, ... Continue»
Posted by MattheMonster 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 398  |  
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NYMPHOCOM - ch 01

The Mind Control Machine - ch01

Disclaimer : I am not a native English speaker so please don't hesitate to correct me if there are sentences which are not understandable !

Please comment/flame as appropriate !


Prologue

Controlling somebody else's mind has always been a common fantasy throughout the ages. Nothing is more fascinating than to have other human beings obeying your will without any restriction even at the risk of their own life. Many scientists have tried to uncover the secrets of the brain but so far our most complex organ has remained a mystery. We know that th... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 358  |  
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Soldiers Girl part 3

I was gonna have his babies, I knew this from day one. He made me so happy that I almost couldn't stand it. He was always so kind and so caring towards everyone and was always willing to give someone help. That's why I loved him..

It was October and He told me that he would be gone all month and be back In November. I helped him pack his bags, the usual camo uniform, boots, socks, tooth brush, tooth paste, all the goodies. I feared this day for a while. I guess I always knew it was coming, I told him before he found out he was gonna deploy that you never know, he might get called in early ... Continue»
Posted by lovely16 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 1187  |  
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bl**dy bourgoisie

When I joined this Wonderful World of Porn I was sruck by the quantity of rules and regulations, supposed etiquette and general reserve insisted upon by the organisers.....obviously they have their reasons, and I won't argue with them on that. This is their site and I must obey.

It's all terribly bourgoisie however.

BUT, - as a free man born in a free country I do insist upon having my say about it, to wit : It's a lot of old crap.

Firstly, - because all rules inhibit. Inhibition and porn simply do NOT, cannot go together. Indeed, having plowed through thousands... Continue»
Posted by dandrew1 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 167  |  
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Is that woman flirting with you?

It's indeed a fine line – one where the quintessential 'player of the game' is separated from the eternal wannabe. To the above-average go lucky male(aka the proverbial alpha male), flirting is a mere tool, a ritual to be performed before getting down to the real 'action', but for the rest of us, it is the one obstacle which prevents access to the untold world beyond. Granted, flirting is a complex behaviour that is largely seen as a male trait. While 100% of men are ever-willing to offer advice on the topic, few are actually masters of it in their own right. But this time, that is beside the ... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 178  |  
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I finally bought a pack of Magnums

I finally got the balls to do it, I bought my first pack of Magnums. Never getting laid in the past has been bad enough, and with this site I made a few friends who said they'd be more than willing to help me out on the losing my virginity side. ( I'm still accepting offers since none have folllowed through yet ;] ) And after my embarrasing experience you can read about below with my big cock not fitting into a regular trojan I decided it was time to go out and buy a pack of Magnums. Reluctantly I went to the store and found the health and beauty section, I was so frazzled it took me nearly fi... Continue»
Posted by MDvirgin 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 689  |  
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