Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 77

The Past of the Great Takuri and his Gift

January 30. 2012
This is my first Journal entry. Why do people write a journal? Probably because they’re lonely. But I, the great Takuri, or at least that’s what I’m calling myself these days, am never lonely. No I’m writing this journal so that other people can see, can read what great things I’ve done and where I’ve erred. It feels like I’m writing the truth. As a magician I spent my whole life living in illusions, bending the truth both to the audience but also to my humble self, now it feels like I can finally tell the whole story, you can’t go to somebody who you are manipulating and tel... Continue»
Posted by shanina 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
290
  |  
90%
  |  4

The Agony & Ecstacy

Out of town on assignment, I was staying with my friends in an upscale part of town..MONEY! He was out of town for the day, and I, was house sitting during the evening. His wife was out with her girls friends, partying it up.

It was a boring evening channel surfing and reading a book. The book as better than TV and I was on my 2nd glass of wine, when I heard the rear door open.

In waltzed, very carefully, Linda, who appears very sexy and quite too much to drink. She leaned against the wall trying to, gracefully, remove her shoes. Her long hair, plus her low cut tank top displayed a fine... Continue»
Posted by silverfox62 3 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
918
  |  
90%
  |  1

MY FAV JOKES

Patient to doctor: The problem is that obesity runs in our f****y. Doctor to patient: No.............the problem's that no one runs in your f****y.

I was walking home late one night and saw a woman in the shadows.
"Ten pounds . ." she whispers.
I'd never been with a prostiture before, so i decided, it’s only a tenner,why not, So we hide in the bushes.
Were going at it for a minute or so when all of a sudden a light flashes on us. It’s a policeman.,"Ello ello ello,What’s going on here, " asks the officer.
"I’m making love to my wife!, " i answered indignantly.
"Oh, I’m sorry, " say... Continue»
Posted by icumonu 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
865
  |  
90%

She Doesn't Like Girls

A few weekends ago I picked my girlfriend (as in, my friend who is a woman) up from the airport.

I met her about a month after she turned 18 and first had a threesome with her and the man we had in common upon our very first meeting. We had been chatting and flirting prior to meeting. We'd exchange pics and share our favorite porn over emails and texts, getting excited for our first meeting in a week or so. We loved the same kind of porn and we talked about how fun meeting up would be with our common lover. That was February 2012 and we are still very close friends…

When I picked her up... Continue»
Posted by Missy_X 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
1699
  |  
90%
  |  7

Cute And Sensual School Love

As it turned out I was the highest scorer in my cbse exams of class 10 among that class, so very soon I started getting my response from teachers and friends including girls. A few of them struck me as they were very beautiful, and one of them was she. Even though I am writing this story with our mutual consent, let me not display her name, some things are better kept secret. She was a damn good looking girl, with a cute look, average height of 5.3 and a killing smile. A smile for which half the school will die for. She was among the most beautiful girls of the school. She had small boobs whic... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
431
  |  
90%
  |  2

The Beautiful Officemate


I had always eyed her from the day I joined my new company just seeing her in her tight jeans and watching her ass move man I needed that ass we soon got close and were a lovely pair, We started of the regular petting sessions me kissing her lovely lips and she responded very well always opening her mouth wide to welcome my tongue. I would scoop out the saliva from her mouth with my tongue and taste it, and she loved to do the same, soon I was asking for more and so was she but had been fucked before it had been a long time and she just wasn't ready for it. Eventually we worked out a compr... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
347
  |  
90%
  |  1

Types of Sex between a Couple

In order to fully enjoy these practices, you must ensure you understand all of the potential ramifications prior to engaging in them.

Three is not a crowd

It is a common dream which in today’s time and age has the potential to be oh-so real. It involves you, your partner, and another person. Most people enter it to experience a new form of sex as they are bored of the ‘vanilla’ sex they have with their partner. However, the best would be if all three of you are reasonably well known to each other and comfortable enough to enjoy a sexual act.

Advantage: You have the chance to spice up ... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
319
  |  
90%

10 strange facts about kissing

Think you know a thing or two about kissing? You probably do. But the facts below are so off the beaten path, we’ll bet you don’t know them all—and they could come in handy. Not only could they provide some steamy “Did you know…?” chit chat, but they’ll help you see all the benefits a satisfying lip lock can bring into your life. Happy smooching!

1. Two out of every three couples turn their heads to the right when they kiss.

2. A simple peck uses two muscles; a passionate kiss, on the other hand, uses all 34 muscles in your face. Now that’s a rigorous workout!

3. Like fingerprints or ... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
436
  |  
90%

Fully Dressed

Have you and another given each other a mind blowing orgasm while fully dressed???????????????

I worked in this kitchen in Fl. and there was this waitress that would always brush her large tits and plump ass against me when ever she would pass me in the kitchen area. So we talked flirtatiously to one another for about two weeks.

One night out back taking a break she comes out and we get into a heated conversation. She noticed I had a massive hard-on and she said "I wish I could ride that cock right now". I had on a pair of loose chef pants; she had on a pair of black tight cotton/polyest... Continue»
Posted by Gehld 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
760
  |  
90%
  |  3

Meating The Hammer Man

I turned and slowly struck a pose in profile while Dede panned around my long hard on. "Have any of you seen Hammer Man?"

"Nope!" answered Cessa.

"Oh well," I sighed. "Do you suppose while we wait one of you could, (dramatic pause) Fuck me up my ass?"

********************************************************************

It was hard to believe that this was the same place I was in several weeks ago. Gone was all the casual joking, and the laid back atmosphere. It was replaced with all kinds of tension and a strictly business attitude.

Th... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  
229
  |  
90%
  |  2

HERES ANOTHER ONE FOR THE BOOKS!

* KARI'S, JAILHOUSE SWANK!!!






------ Looking to get layed, Huh, Babe? Do you need me, Now, Want to get loud, and feeling proud? I know you want this, and I have it! So, come ready, and with it! Just, got to love this, "Shi... Continue»
Posted by JUICYBOX 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
560
  |  
90%
  |  1

A Little Bite to Eat

You get home from the gym and call out to me that you are going to the shower, and you hear me mumble something back. You think nothing of it, assuming that there was something on TV.

Once you get upstairs you can smell the freesia candles burning. You glance into the bathroom and see it lit up with candles. You know I will be up shortly to join you, so you rip your cloths off and toss them into the bedroom and hop into the shower. You stand under the hot pulsating water. You are enjoying the feel of the hot water caressing your body, and you don't even notice me coming into the shower, unt... Continue»
Posted by bdpro 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
221
  |  
90%
  |  1

Women 'as likely as men to enjoy casual sex

It's not just men who are looking for 'friends with benefits'.

A Deakin University researcher has said that women are as likely as men to enjoy casual sexual arrangements, but for different reasons.

Kylie McCardle, who has been looking for 400 'friends with benefits' to take part in a survey, said the women who took part in an initial study said these arrangements gave them sexual confidence.

"The men were more likely to say they enjoyed the intimacy of the friendship," the Age quoted McCardle as saying.

The initial study was based on in-depth interviews with 15 couples, or 30 'fri... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
321
  |  
90%
  |  2

Thank you to slavegirl87 who gave me the idea to w

Thank you to slavegirl87 who gave me the idea to w
While I was reading her I was thinking about a story that happened to me with an ex girlfriend.

Here is my story. Kiss

My girlfriend didn’t know Paris and one day, on a whim, we decided to go for the week-end to Paris. We took the train a Wednesday to spend 3 days alone together in a tiny hotel. I know quite well Paris, I visited dozens of times. But it was the first time I went with a girlfriend. 3 days is too short to see everything and because she loved the movie “Moulin rouge” we went to the Sacré Coeur and to Pigalle. Suddenly she... Continue»
Posted by fredorson 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
465
  |  
90%
  |  2

Sonia and Sylvie in Toyland

I was living in a committed relationship with my partner Sylvie, whom you may have met in my previous Courtship stories. I was 4 months pregnant by Sylvie's b*****r Phillipe. We had spent a week in Lyon at a f****y wedding, and then had driven to Paris for a vacation stay.

Sylvie and I arrived in Paris on Thursday evening and registered at a small, elegant hotel just off l'Etoile, that great web of streets radiating from the Arc de Triomphe. Aside from tourism, dining, and promenading Parisian streets, one of our goals was to expand our collection of sex toys.

Prior to a trip to London... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
150
  |  
90%

How to maintain a healthy sex drive

Obesity, diabetes, high bl**d pressure, thyroid dysfunction, adrenal exhaustion, poor nutrition, prescription medications, hormonal birth control, too much stress and too little sl**p. Many factors determine a healthy sex drive and today we're looking at what determines a healthy sex drive and how to maintain it.

Factors that determine a healthy sex drive
Sex hormones – For women both estrogen and testosterone at healthy levels are very vital in maintaining libido as well as fertility. In men too, testosterone is vital. Men with clinically defined low libido are often diagnosed with low ... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
262
  |  
90%

Damaged scrotum story

A vicar asks his congregation if anyone would like to express thanks for their answered prayers.

A young woman makes her way to the front of the church and turns to face the congregation. "I would like to give thanks to my answered prayers! she announces. "Six months ago, my husband, had a terrible bicycle accident and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was agonizing and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."

A stifled gasp came from every man in the congregation as they imagined the pain that the poor man must have experienced.

The young woman continued, "My ... Continue»
Posted by sjroche1509 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
682
  |  
90%
  |  1

The life drawing model and I (Based on true story)

This just happened two nights ago (I have used fake names of course though) :) .

Alex had been single for nine months and decided to join a dating website. After two weeks of a few boring dates in the city, he was requested an add by a Serbian girl named Mili one night that lived about fourty minutes away from him. He accepted her, and they chatted for awhile until the conversation went along to:

9.17pm

Mili says: So you do a lot of life drawing?
Alex says: Yes, I love it, it is my passion in life.
Mili says: I have never tried it, but I wouldn't mind...
Alex says: What, really? It... Continue»
Posted by aussieguy00000 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
365
  |  
90%

A Lunchbreak

(Mark rushes home to her bedroom for lunch)

Mark called home, his meeting had been canceled and he decided to come home for lunch. Of course, with an hour's drive to get home, he hoped it would actually be lunch and a whole lot more. The k**s were at school and it had been a while since him and his wife had done anything, so Mark was hopeful.

Allison knew exactly how to serve lunch, and it had very little to with cooking or food. Fully aware of the opportunity, she changed out of her everyday clothes, noticing how firm her nipples already were and seeing the tell-tale damp spot in her pa... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
241
  |  
90%
  |  1

Joe & Murhy Part 1: Breaking and entering

The moon was full, bathing the bay and surrounding suburbs in a cerulean hue. The hot and humid air of the summer's night was still and silent, save for the crashing of the waves in the distance.

A careful eye would have spied the lanky silhouette of Joe scaling the wall effortlessly and dropping into the grounds without a sound. The moon illuminated the grounds of the house allowing Joe to scan the scene perfectly. The large manor house slouched no more than fifty yards away, the lower windows and doors boarded up. Boarded up but accessible, yes, always accessible.

The garden consist... Continue»
Posted by Bulletin 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
353
  |  
90%
  |  1