Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 76

Realease the Krakken

This is actually a completely random post. I was talking with my a friend the other day, and he reminded me of something I did at a party a while back. I used to go to parties and get completely trashed when I was in high school. And I had this ex Abi, who was a total control freak, but very atractive, she was 5'4, mix of mexican and caucasion, very smoothe skin, long black hair, big doe eyes, perky b cup size, and a very tight ass. one thing I hated was that she would tease and lead me on but never actually do anything. After a few months of blue balls, we broke up and went our separated ways... Continue»
Posted by dick_masscock 4 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Fuckn My Flat 2



My hands were shaking at the anticipation, she grabbed the back of my neck and brought me in for another deep kiss, my fingers danced lightly over the mounds of her boobs grazing the hard nipples as my hand got closer to her glistening thighs. I moved my hands over her pussy lips. Wet doesn’t even get close to describing her. This girl was hot and dying for some hard cock to make her scream. Her back arched as I lightly moved her wet lips apart, her panty gusset was soaked through with it as I dragged them off her, her ass raising in the air to help giving me a waft of her pu... Continue»
Posted by salahgabr 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Untitled

Arranging to meet Sarah in the new pub was a waste of time she text as I arrived to say she was delayed somewhat I thought I'm here now no harm in a small glass of White was there I went inside for an afternoon it wasnt empty but not heaving I got my drink and headed for a table by the window I was thirsty and the first glass went down too quick so I headed to the bar for another I just sat back down when he walked in I blushed as his eyes clocked mine looking at him my god he was fit i looked away feeling flushed I couldn't resist another glance as he stood at the bar he was tall fit and a bo... Continue»
Posted by Hollysuckscox 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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CAUGHT AND PUNISHED !!!!!!

Right i thought, ill get this last job sorted then race home and have the house to myself for an hour or so before the wife gets in. Both the k**s are away so i thought ill enjoy some sexy time alone. I rushed home and swung the van into the first space i could find. When i jumped out my freshly shaven cock was already starting to pulsate as i thought about my beautiful wives sexy panties in the wash basket just waiting to be explored.

I kicked of my shoes and dropped my trousers releasing my massive hard throbbing cock, and went upstairs. I reached into the wash basket and found 3 pairs o... Continue»
Posted by himNher 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Dracula's Forbidden Forest

Music that would be playing in the background is as follows: Marilyn Manson "Sweet Dreams", Korn "Freak on a leash", Three days Grace "a****l i have become" and NIN "Closer". This is the first annual haunted hay ride for adults only with only 2 wagonfulls of people per night so early reservations are strongly recommended! This is an erotic ride for the halloween season for very sexual people, such as myself, to dress up and participate in the roles you are given. During the heat of the moment some participants if they wish can swap partners and so on. You must sign a disclaimer form before... Continue»
Posted by jenny462 4 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Chat Buddy, Fuck Buddy



I had been talking to this guy on the internet for about 3 months. He was obviously sex crazy. We had been constantly flirting and there was definitely a sexual attraction. He lived about 2 hours away, so finally one night I drove up there. After some chit chat and a few beers/shots of whiskey, he came up from behind me and kissed me. We ended up grinding each other while I was straddling him. I was so wet and I couldn't handle it anymore. We p... Continue»
Posted by Sexyvixen36 4 years ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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first online hookup (crazy fun)

As I log on to my social network of choice, I put down my bottle of cola for a moment to input the password. As the page loads up I taste the sugary drink. In the corner of the screen there is 1 new friend request. "Maria" 20.

I remember working with Maria a few years before that, she was about 3 years younger then me but she was pretty open about what she wanted, even when she was 15. I accept, thinking to myself "worth a shot now".

A few moments later an IM bubble pops up " hey stranger, how you doing ? :)". Great I responded. Over the next hour or so we ... Continue»
Posted by thekp 6 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Construction worker

Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language.

He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his cock and starts masturbating.

The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the fuck is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand ... Continue»
Posted by ducati4652 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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I fucked a MILF in a wheelchair

I was a grad student at Valdosta State University a few years ago and I used to see a M.I.L.F. in a wheelchair that was mid 40ish and very good looking. She had a really nice rack on her! I made a point of running into her a number of times around campus so I could talk to her. I discovered she worked for VSU and was not a student. She was divorced and had k**s grown and out of the house. I told her I liked to hang out at Bungelow's, a local college bar, and sure enough one night I saw her come in. I invited her to sit with me and I bought her a few jack and cokes and before long she was a bit... Continue»
Posted by DostaDude 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Exhibitionism in the airport

Let me start of by saying everything you are about to read is 100% factual they occurred 2 years ago to me personally and it is a deeply erotic memory for me.

So here I was completely out of my mind desperately staggering through the airport in Rome. About 5 hours beforehand I'd gotten d***k and swallowed a litre of cheap corked wine (not fun) and if I didn't have friends with me I wouldn't have made it through the front door. But with them half carrying me I made it to boarding where I had an hour to sober up.

Leaving my friends I practically collapsed into a stall in the airport toil... Continue»
Posted by guyginger 3 years ago  |  Categories: Gay Male, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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The Absent-Minded Commuter

The Absent-Minded Traveller
I am a terribly forgetful person - let me give you an example. Yesterday I went to visit a friend - a beautiful friend, slim, yet with curves in all the right places - and we flirt, though nothing has happened between us … yet. I wanted her to notice how good I looked, so I made a special effort before I set off for her place. I put on a rather short, floral dress, and high heeled, strappy sandals. Then I sat in front of the mirror and watched myself as I pumped my clit hood till it was huge - all swollen and soft - rubbing against my thighs. To get to my friend’... Continue»
Posted by pinkpumper 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Skinny dipping with mates GF

Unusually for me I had been working in Town on a project, it was one of those gorgeous late spring days with the sun shining hot and bright. Not at all like the bleak cold of our current dirge.

There was an unexpected knock at the door, when upon answering it I found Jo standing there. “Hello” she said, “I saw your car parked outside and thought I’d see how you are?” I explained that I was fine and invited her in to see what I was up to. She came and I said that I was surprised to see her as I had expected her to be at the Wedding.

I should maybe explain here that Jo was my best mate Jon... Continue»
Posted by appycam 5 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Movie Night.

Katie had only just found her seat and already she was feeling uneasy. The theater was packed; it was after all opening night. To her left sat a couple of teenaged girls chatting and giggling, to her right a father and son busy talking about the score of the game tonight. She did a quick scan of the dimly lit room but she couldn’t see him. She knew he was there, she just didn’t know where.

He had given her the toys and instructions to which she had to follow to the letter:

-8pm, Theater 7, row 5, seat 8

-Enter the theater with the beads in place and insert the vibrator when the lights... Continue»
Posted by brunettebabe85 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
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Seducing & Fucking My Maid


I was with my cousin b*****r who just passed a comment that if he was in my place he would have had her by now. It was then I looked at her in that sense, she was mopping the floor facing us kneeling down. Her saree across her bosom was a little down revealing her cleavage. I looked at her but didn't have any thoughts about the issue. After a few days everybody left and only our f****y was remaining. The next few days were nice as we had our first s****r-in-law (bhabhi) and talked about a lot of things.

But in these days every time Kavitha was mopping the floor I used to peep at her cle... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 5 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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One day at work.

A true story.
I work in a large factory, i try to be friendly with everyone. When working the afternoon shift, there are cleaners that do the toilets, around teatime. One of female cleaners took a bit of a shine to me, a bit of flirting etc. I used to like talking to her whilst she was working, because she used to give me a flash down her top, you could tell she did it on purpose and she had big tits too.

After several weeks of verbal foreplay and tit flashing, i went to talk to her this particular day. She just blurted out...Do you want to fuck me... Me being the shy type just stood there... Continue»
Posted by andy5706 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Big Boobs and a Bit of Luck

One of the many jobs I have had was at an electronics store which was pretty boring, except for the rare times when I would get to serve a hot busty customer.

I remember the first time that Sara walked in the door. It was a hot summers day, she was probably about 155cm (about 5'2" I think) she had a purple singlet top on, that barely could contain her bountiful breasts, with tight fitting 3/4 cutoff blue jeans and her short blonde hair pulled back in a pony tail. I'm a bit of a boob hound, so I was guessing a DD minimum but more likely an E cup.

As she walked in, I got a great look at h... Continue»
Posted by Luvboobs15 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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The Hitch Hiker - Short Story

Jack Straw, 35, single forever, sales-man for stockings, lacy lingery and condoms, travels more miles through the lonely country than any one of us - it is his job! He doesn't meet many women on his long and dusty way through the outback, but he certainly longs for the once-in-a-lifetime encounter with a lady that will fulfill all his secret dreams!

Here I am once again on this endless and winding road through the deserted country side. The six cylinder motor of my old station wagon is humming comfortably under the broad bonnet as I ride along with seventy miles an hour. I am traveling li... Continue»
Posted by sushicook 5 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Cock Sucking Addiction Seems To Be A f****y Trait

So this weekend my Aunt asked if I would help her clean out her attic and put on a yard sale. I know she will be upset if she finds out I posted this but, I guess my obsession with giving head runs in the f****y :)

While going through some of her Law School books, this note fell out, I still have more books to go through, I hope i find more.

K.L. thoughts on my recent Oral Arguments- Pro
"Any college student looking for work in his field can appreciate the difference between theory and practice. Long before I developed any sort of expertise in the sexual arts, Scarletlet... Continue»
Posted by oralTcmlvr 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Hallmark Valentines Day Rejects






Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss But I only slept with you because I was pissed.

I thought that I could love no other That is, until I met your b*****r.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

Of loving beauty you float with grace Now if only you could hide your face.

* Kind, intelligent, loving and hot; This describes all the things you are not.

I want to feel your sweet embrace But don't take that paper bag off of your face.

I love y... Continue»
Posted by crzs 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Peep Show Performance by Giorgio Canoli

PEEP SHOW PERFORMANCE by Giorgio Canoli


On their way home from dinner George suggested he and Kim stop at a local adult toy store. "How come were making this pit stop"? she asked. He replied, "I noticed your rabbit isn't as fast as he used to be", "the tortoise can actually beat him now". They chuckled as they exited the vehicle.

This wasn't no ordinary porno shop. It was the home depot of erotica. They wandered through each aisle, Kim's pussy started getting moist and she could see George's cock growing through his pants. Kim quipped "Be careful with that loaded gun in your poc... Continue»
Posted by NYItalianStud 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo, Voyeur  |  
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