Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 76
Sanitary stop - part zero
My late uncle was a dedicated driver. He would always refuse an unnecessary sanitary stop. "Not until I need more gas. You can lose your overweight of water later. Just tied it up boy! Hehehe ;-)P". Of course, I tried to tie it up ...
But my unexperienced fondling to find the right knot which would work plus a full bladder growing from drinking so much in the hot weather, made me wonder whether it would be possible. The task more difficult as the tension mounted in my member.
I wondered, while he speeded down the left lane, how to solve my penible pred... Continue»
Me, my friends and my flat mate spontainiously went out for a drink, we carried on the party back at our flat where the conversation went on about sex and **** sizes, me and my girls asked how big my flatemates was but he just shyed away so we thought we'd get him d***k.... as the night went on he got so d***k he passed out and thats when we started to have our fun.
We tied him up just incase he woke then unzipped his trousers and pulled the down... We all gasped in shock to how tiny and shrivelled up his **** was, one of my friends said she'd never seen one that small... EVER!!! another co... Continue»
we were at the beach at weekend and had been there about an hour, when a old guy and his wife set up near us, i could not understand why as there was plenty of space,but i knew why when i caught him watching the wife,we went for a meal and a few drinks,when we got back to the beach the old couple were just passing us,we had been back about 15 mins when i could see the wife had gone to sl**p, she was lay on her side, so i thought i would have some fun,i pulled her top tit out of her siwmsuit so it looked like it had fell out,she was facing where the old couple were set up,it was about 10mins la... Continue»
THE STRANGEST JIGSAW PUZZLE
It was on the top shelf on an old bookcase, covered with dust and barely visible. Lisa decided she had to find out what it was. Of all the things in the old junk shop, it aroused her curiosity most. She had looked through old books, prints, and postcards for hours. Nothing had caught her interest. Now the old box, high and out of reach, intrigued her. She looked around for the old man who ran the store. But he had gone into the back room. She saw a stepladder across the room and brought it over to the bookcase. It shook on the uneven floorboards as she climbed to t... Continue»
A new study recently released by researchers purports to show that men who surf porn at the office are up to 69 percent more likely to be promoted to a management position when compared to men who refrain from such activities.
In another surprising discovery based on the same research, scientists reported that as many as 6.9 percent of male white collar employees spend at least two hours per day viewing pornography on any given work day, with Wednesday being the day of peak porn viewing activity.
"It would be an understatement to say that we were thrilled to uncover these results," sai... Continue»
hey guys n girls if you like these feel free to come back every week for a new 1 :) if theres a typo im sorry,
she was stood there in the morning awaiting to go to school, she was wearing her uniform, her hair in a ponytail, gorgeous face, her shirt so small and tight, cleavage hanging out from the top, she wears the shortest skirts, and stockings, she leans over the kitchen table to reach her school bag, the glow of her amazing ass so round and plump, she was wearing tight white nickers and they made her ass look so smooth it was perfect.
She left the house, she a... Continue»
I came home from school today to find the house empty, where was mum, I went to the back door and saw her in the garden. sunbathing, I stepped out towards her and noticed she was naked so I stopped. As I gazed at her I saw she was lying on her back on the lawn with her legs spread wide and held in the air, her hand reached between her legs and was moving up and down. Then I heard her talking to herself. " Fuck me, Fuck me, fuck me johnny. thats it fuck my ass, fuck your mummy." I stepped forward and spoke, "mummy" "yes Johnny" your a bit noisy today remember the n... Continue»
Okay so I have been thinking about it for a while but today I did it, I went into the premises and up the stairs and waited my turn.
A gorgeous young lady beckoned me in to a room where I took clothes off, not all of them, just some.
Then she sat me in a reclining chair and started to play with my nipples! Now I do not get a hard on nowadays but I definitely got a flicker in the knickers so to speak.
She very carefully massaged one and then the other and did all manner of horny things with her hands.
Then after a moment or two she smiled nicely at me and 'HOLY FUCKING OUCH!!' That... Continue»
We sat on the side of the motorway bridge, on the earthen bank, partially hidden by some low bushes. Below us ran a cycle track, stretching under the bridge and far off into the distance, it forked on our side of the bridge and ran alongside the bank before disappearing into a small clump of trees beside the road.
I munched contentedly on my sandwiches while my friend was crunching down a bag of crisps. We were waiting for two more friends. The four of us usually met here on our lunch break in summer. It was a place where we could get away from the working environment of college, just visi... Continue»
"You've got to be k**ding!" I shouted out loud.
"Whoever thought to name a town that, must have had a huge hairy pussy fetish!"
"WELCOME TO BIG BEAVER PA." The sign said.
I had almost arrived at my new home in Pleasant Town Pa. population 55,000.*
There was no way I could concentrate on my language learning tapes now, not when I was this close to my destination.
Plus my mind was wandering too much anyway. Seeing that "Big Beaver" sign reminded me of my old college days.
Up near Albany NY there's a town everyone refers to ... Continue»
Being on xHamster for 408 days doesn’t make me a porn king or Ron Jeremy but i’m on here long enough to know that this is one to remember.
I recently realized that if i log on every day i would end up with alot of favourite video’s and photo’s. At this moment its one sexual energy explosion in my head and i can’t stop clicking on “add to favourite video’s” or “add to favourite whatever” for that matter.
Many people would categorize me as just one of the million horny “pull out my dick” kind of guy but i would beg to... Continue»
by Eddy Current
One night, when his charge was pretty high, Micro Farad decided to try to
get a cute little coil to let him discharge. He picked up Millie Amp and
took her for a ride on his megacycle. They rode across the wheatstone
bridge around by the sine wave and stopped in a magnetic field by a flowing
Micro Farad, attracted by Millie's characteristic curves, soon had his
resistance at a minimum and his field fully excited. He laid her on the
ground potential, raised her frequency, lowered her capacitance, and pulled
out his high voltage probe. He inserted it ... Continue»
This was to be my first time at the 'party' I didn't know exactly what was involved but I knew it was a privalige to be invited. I had provided a certificate from the clinic to say that I was free of sexual diseases and another to show that I was using birth control. Finally I had signed an agreement, although I wasnt sure what I was agreeing to as I wasn't alowed to read it.
So now I stood nervously before the table. Three people faced me, two men and in the middle a woman I didn't know. She spoke
"As we have a new member there will be only one name in the bowl... Continue»
I'd love to see a lesbian film featuring Roxanne Pallet from Emmerdale and Helen Flanagan from Coronation Street. To those of you reading this who don't know who they are, just google their names, and I'm sure you'll agree with me. Just imagine the 2 of them dressed in school uniforms eating each other out. Fucking amazing!
Now, as stunning as they may be, they are basically "normal" girls. It would be easy to say that you'd love to see Beyonce having her clit licked by Rihanna...(there's a thought!) Come on, boys and girls. I really want to hear who yo... Continue»
I haven't been with many women, I am not even old enough to drink yet so I still got time! I have been with a few different girls & have had a few nice experiences with each of them, sorry no visuals for any of them. Only my most recent ex:
So here's a little info on the girls I was with & some of the experiences I've had so far.
Name - Age
Hair Color - Type
Age I was when I was with them
What I did with them
Amanda - 18
Black - Straight Long (To hips)
HJ, BJ, Sex, Ana... Continue»
"Just a moment I would like to have a smoke before bed." Walking past the screen door I stop it before it slams but she heard the creeks I hear her steps down the white carpet stairs such a woman makes noise with every movement of her light frame that old screen door opens without a peep I know that darn thing doesnt like me. "Babe can you roll me one." my reply "yes" the cream paper already in my fingers I fold in half pinch the tabbacco then roll her fag hand her my flame she lites the glow set back stands far from the night sky a quick shine in her big blue eyes. "It may storm tonight, coul... Continue»
The Mind Control Machine
Chapter 2 - Julie wants more
During the next few days I did not see Julie and, as her boyfriend was probably back, I did not want to check on her. I was concerned about what were her thoughts ... Would she go crazy about what she had done ? Had she noticed that she had been influenced by an outside f***e ? I did not want to try the NYMPHOCOM on another girl before having made sure that its waves were completely harmless, except for a girl's sexuality of course. I had checked the device entirely several times and apart for the orgasm triggered by the cum swa... Continue»
A few nights ago, I found myself thinking about that party at
Kurt and Rachel's last summer. If you remember, we showed up
after eight. The invitation was for seven, but due to several
thoroughly avoidable delays, we arrived unfashionably late.
For some reason, you waited until the moment we were suppose
to leave home to re-sculpt your hair. Then you changed clothes
twice and after that you picked a fight with me over what I
was wearing, so then I had to change. Slowing us down further
was that little stop we made on route to the party.
That, I admit, was my idea.
I'll never forget... Continue»
If you want a repeat performance from your lady friend, it might be a good idea to tap into your sensitive side and step your cuddle game up. Psychologist Susan Hughes said:
“Females placed an overall great importance than did males on all five items measured: intimate talking, kissing, cuddling and caressing, professing their love for their partner and talking about the relationship after sex. In contrast, men placed more importance on gaining extrinsic rewards after sex.”
And these extrinsic rewards include cigarettes, booze, etc.
So what is to be gained from this study (that survey... Continue»
According to some studies, 3 out of 10 men are can attest that they really understand women.
The remaining 7, you ask? They are out in the haystack finding needles. This means that almost 70% of the men population in the U.S. contends that whatever they do, they still could not figure out how to understand women.
For this reason, men are having a hard time to figure out what attract women sexually and romantically in a relationship. 6 out of ten men attest that women are so unpredictable that what they thought women are attracted to, they suddenly realize in the end that it is not the ri... Continue»