Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 76

Exhibitionism in the airport

Let me start of by saying everything you are about to read is 100% factual they occurred 2 years ago to me personally and it is a deeply erotic memory for me.

So here I was completely out of my mind desperately staggering through the airport in Rome. About 5 hours beforehand I'd gotten d***k and swallowed a litre of cheap corked wine (not fun) and if I didn't have friends with me I wouldn't have made it through the front door. But with them half carrying me I made it to boarding where I had an hour to sober up.

Leaving my friends I practically collapsed into a stall in the airport toil... Continue»
Posted by guyginger 3 years ago  |  Categories: Gay Male, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Joke..!!

A married couple is lying in bed one night. The wife is curled up, ready to go to sl**p, and the husband turns his bed lamp on to read a book. As he’s reading, he periodically reaches over to his wife and fondles her special area. He does this a few times, but only for a very short interval before returning to read his book.

The wife gradually becomes more and more aroused and, assuming that her husband is seeking some encouragement before going further, Gets up and starts stripping in front of him.

The husband is confused and asks, "Why are you taking off your clothes?"

His wife repl... Continue»
Posted by papa61 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The 12 Days of Christmas - The True story

THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
DAY ONE:

Dearest Bob,
I went to the door today and the postman delivered
a partridge in a pear tree. What a thoroughly delightful gift.
I couldn't have been more surprised.
With deepest love and affection,
Violet



DAY TWO:

Dearest Bob,
Today the postman brought your very sweet gift.
Justimagine...two turtle doves!!
I'm delighted at your very thoughtful gift.
They are just too adorable.
My everlasting love,
Violet


DAY THREE:

My Dear Bob,
Oh! Aren't you the extravagant one!
Now I actually must protest.
I don't deserve ... Continue»
Posted by OlGeezer 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Story of my Life: My Sister and I

This story and all the stories that follow are true, but the names of most of the people (except my own) have changed. Everything else is as true as I can remember it.
__________________________________________

My name is Vanessa Abigail Genai. This is a story of the first time I ever started masturbating.

At the time I was only nine years old. I had not yet begun puberty so I was still flat and hairless. Those who knew me, always said I was beautiful, even back then. I had long blonde hair that reached to my shoulders. I always kept it loose and flowing. I had bright blue eyes. I had s... Continue»
Posted by v-a-gina 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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I Just Fucked a Virgin

My wife and I had another one of our legendary fights and I decided to just go stay at a hotel for the night and just relax. The clerk stared at me kind of funny when I went to check in at 9pm and didn't have any ID. I explained to him the fight with my wife and how I'd left my wallet at home and the story about my emergency cash stash in the car and, with a $100 tip, I soon had a no-questions-asked room with double queens.

After dropping off my bag I went down to the restaurant and got in a quick bite. I had a rum & cola with the dinner that I didn't even touch so I just took it back to t... Continue»
Posted by PureCoffee 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Anathema Device










Anathama Device


Anathema returned to her class satisfied that she had got her own way yet again .

Anna was used to getting her own way. She dominated her older s****r Meg and her younger s****r
Janet, She even dominated her Mother Meg or so she imagined.

The telephone rang at Meg Browns house . Meg answered almost immediately .

It was Martin the Principal at Hope High School .
Martin White was the nephew of the bank manager who had owned the Mansion on the hill and had been the deputy Principal when Meg was at school.
No one knew except for ... Continue»
Posted by clearly 5 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor  |  
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THE ITALIAN WEDDING

THE ITALIAN WEDDING

I was a very happy man.
My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year.
So we decided to get married.

There was only one little thing bothering me..

It was her beautiful younger s****r, Sofia.

My prospective s****r-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was Bra-less.

She would regularly bend down when she was near me.
I always got more than a nice view.

It had to be deliberate.
She never did it around anyone else.

One day she called me and asked me to come over.
'To check my s****r's wedding- invitatio... Continue»
Posted by tetamata 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The Agony & Ecstacy

Out of town on assignment, I was staying with my friends in an upscale part of town..MONEY! He was out of town for the day, and I, was house sitting during the evening. His wife was out with her girls friends, partying it up.

It was a boring evening channel surfing and reading a book. The book as better than TV and I was on my 2nd glass of wine, when I heard the rear door open.

In waltzed, very carefully, Linda, who appears very sexy and quite too much to drink. She leaned against the wall trying to, gracefully, remove her shoes. Her long hair, plus her low cut tank top displayed a fine... Continue»
Posted by silverfox62 3 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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My foreign boyfriend.

This is a real experience guys, I had a boyfriend from London once and I spoke to him recently, we are no longer together because of the distance thing. We were on cam and everything, and I don't know how but we ended up talking about when we used to fuck... it was a bit embarrasssing because we don't talk about that shit anymore - it's the past. It really turned me on and I figured maybe it would be an interesting read.

It's not one of those erotic or dirty normal stories, it may be a bit boring or whatever but anyway.. Read on if you got the time - maybe it will make ... Continue»
Posted by xxxsarah69xxx 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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CAUGHT AND PUNISHED !!!!!!

Right i thought, ill get this last job sorted then race home and have the house to myself for an hour or so before the wife gets in. Both the k**s are away so i thought ill enjoy some sexy time alone. I rushed home and swung the van into the first space i could find. When i jumped out my freshly shaven cock was already starting to pulsate as i thought about my beautiful wives sexy panties in the wash basket just waiting to be explored.

I kicked of my shoes and dropped my trousers releasing my massive hard throbbing cock, and went upstairs. I reached into the wash basket and found 3 pairs o... Continue»
Posted by himNher 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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a new song for sailors

Now that women are allowed in the Navy we have to change that old song...

What can you do with a d***ken sailor,
what can you do with a sexy sailor ?
what can you do with a female sailor early in the morning ?

pull her panties down and spank her white ass,
pull her panties down and spank her black ass,
pull her panties down and spank her tight ass, till she cries Ahoy.

What can you do with a d***ken sailor,
what can you do with a sexy sailor ?
what can you do with a female sailor early in the morning ?

tie her tits up with an old rope,
tie her tits up with a new rope,
tie h... Continue»
Posted by VictorL4fun 6 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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MY HOT MOM AND FRIEND TOMMY

MY HOT MOM AND FRIEND TOMMY.

My Mom is one hot Milf! Well that what I’ve been told by my friends at school you see when my mom picks me up from school all my friends gather around my car hoping to get a look at her tits and her really sexy legs mom always wears short skirts and low cut tops and sometimes stocking as you can catch a glimpse as she gets out of the car,
It’s no wonder they all want to look I’m sure she know she’s teasing them she never tries to hide the fact that she showing herself to us young lads,

I think it’s so nice to have a mom that is so sexy everyone wants to be ... Continue»
Posted by bobbyblue53 2 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Brief sex 06 he is In the next room

Brief sex 06

In the next room.



In principle, I do not like dredging or yield to the advances of women friends. But sometimes circumstances play tricks on us. Her name was Sophie, it was the wife of a friend with whom I had made it part of my studies. Say that Sophie had left me indifferent, no, it would be wrong. I always watched this chick with a lot of desire.

I was happy for my friend Andrew, but hey, be respectful does not prevent having eyes. The plastic Sophie approached perfection. Tall brunette with long hair, her skin was golden tan always perfect. His oval face her ... Continue»
Posted by CinquantNERF 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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wet dream

My girlfriend, her mother, and father were at work. Her b*****r, still in high school, was off to school. Her two daughters were with their father. All that was home was me and her. We all stayed in at my girlfriend’s mom’s house, all 8 of us.
It was 10 in the morning she had just awakened, I felt for her more and more that I was around her; she was 8 months pregnant by her husband. I sent her a message to tell her to get on yahoo messenger. I then asked her the question, it took me a while to build up the courage to ask her, but I did it. To my surprise she didn’t freak out she just pol... Continue»
Posted by Tr3al 4 years ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Small dick laughed at by 2 nurses

A friend of mine is a doctor and as part of her training she did a stint in the sexual health wing of the hospital she was working in. She is a very game girl constantly regaling us with tales of funny medical incidents. She told me about games she and her colleagues played to keep themselves amused and spirits high while working in quite a gritty environment.

She said they had a hilarious time asking really intimate questions because people would answer 100% honestly (very eye opening she said).. other guys would treat it like counselling and the moment the door shut on the examination r... Continue»
Posted by peteash 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Velma cums clean with Shaggy

Shaggy felt cold slobber on his face, waking him immediately. "Oh man, Scooby..." he groaned. Scooby-Doo, his Great Dane, began giggling and licked his face again. Shaggy responded by a scratch between his brown ears. "Norville!!" a female voice called from upstairs. "Come and get breakfast!"

"Mom, like, stop calling me that!"

"As long as you're still living in my basement, I'll call you whatever I like, now get your breakfast!"

Shaggy looked at Scooby and said, "Like, well, let's get something to eat." Food was his primary motivation in doing anything.

Shaggy ran up the stairs, cl... Continue»
Posted by shmoe13 5 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Anyone Remember?

Last Summer, my friends and I were at a concert. It was crowded, yet, we managed to be at the front of the audience. Once the concert began you could feel the huge f***e of bodies behind us. People kept pushing into our backs and one could smell the sticky sweat of overheated bodies in the air. A tall man was standing behind me. I noticed his groin kept touching my bum as we all moved. At first, I thought it was perhaps an accident but after several times I knew his true intentions but I liked it. The barrier in front of us was around waist height, I leaned over it, arched my back and stuck ... Continue»
Posted by FoxyGirl24 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Hallmark Valentines Day Rejects






Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss But I only slept with you because I was pissed.

I thought that I could love no other That is, until I met your b*****r.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

Of loving beauty you float with grace Now if only you could hide your face.

* Kind, intelligent, loving and hot; This describes all the things you are not.

I want to feel your sweet embrace But don't take that paper bag off of your face.

I love y... Continue»
Posted by crzs 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Bob and his wife

Introduction: A joke for the ppl who never heard it before.

Bob works hard and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym. His wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.

The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Bob! How ya doin?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh no," says Bob. "He's on my bowling team."

When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, "How... Continue»
Posted by PornApocalypse 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Mom Pays Up (part 1)

(This is my first attempt at a story and my writing is pretty bad so please be kind.)
(Please comment with any ideas on how to improve, thank you)


(My name is Trevor but everyone that knows me just calls me T,
Mostly because they can't be bothered to say my whole name.
I am 21 and I live with my mom and my dad, and i don't have a job
But I have made a large amount of money from gambling and never had
a problem until recently....)



"Bye mom" I shouted as I closed the door behind me.
As I got in my car and started out of our driveway I couldn't
help but feel like I do the sam... Continue»
Posted by Milfsarehot 1 year ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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