Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 75
Lying in bed she said: shall we watch a porno? What, really? I asked, not sure if it was some sort of trap, wary from her Columbo routine by now.
But she was really, not really sure, but really all the same. Ok, but I’m not sure if I know any websites. She laughed – such an absurd lie could not be taken too seriously.
Up popped the main page. It’s a bit much she complained. These are just the categories, I said, we haven’t even got to the proper bit yet!
I scrolled down the categories. Ok, so we’ve got interracial, mature, storyline, female friendly – what’s that? she asked. That’s wher... Continue»
10. Flirting is all about attitude. A good flirt is self-confident and not afraid to take risks. Be enthusiastic, open and positive. It works!
9. Start a conversation. The best opening line is saying hello. Talk about the surroundings, ask a question, ask for help, make a joke, state an opinion. Make sure you are calm and composed but just do it before the person you've got your eye on walks out of the bar or passed you in the street, never to be seen again!
8. Have fun. Be playful, light-hearted and spontaneous. Show your vulnerability.
7. Use props. Never leave home without a pr... Continue»
This is not actually mine my friend told me it was hers and she said if I can post it here.
My friend and as a lover:
It was one Friday morning, when Jake texted me about going out for some breakfast and have a little friendly talk. He said "Hey Maddy I want to tell you something about your boyfriend Nick". I was so curious about how he said he wants to tell me something about my bf. So I replied "sure there's no big deal about that I guess..." so i sat down the bench waiting for Jake to pick me up after talking to Nick for about five minutes Jake arrived and let me in his car. Jake ... Continue»
Trevor woke the next morning feeling invigorated. The previous days escapades had put a spring in his step, several in fact. As he descended the stairs to the kitchen below he couldn't help but whistle a jaunty tune.
Good morning f****y! He said bursting into the kitchen.
Well someone seems happy this morning! Ellen said, before taking a swig of coffee.
You are correct Mother dear, I have never felt better in all my days! Trevor said with a grin
so what are you gonna do today b*o? Jack asked.
Why don't you come to work with me son, they've all been asking about you? Carl said.
Her name is Elisa Grumway and although she may look like a Supermodel she is anything but.
She drinks to much, smokes cheap cigars and eats more McDonalds than a long haul trucker and yet she has an amazing figure. When asked how she pulls it off she always answers:
"Good Genes and lots of Running"
Elisa is a Bail Enf***ement Officer aka Bounty Hunter.
You may ask how a Woman who looks like so stunning and should be prancing down a Catwalk in Milan fell into the Hunting game, well it all began Two years earlier.
After being "dismissed" from a brief stint as Mrs. Cluck (a cos... Continue»
This is my first story so do read with patience and forgive me for my mistakes.
when i was 10, i started to feel something to her we used to play games and play in bed during c***dhood. Those days we dont know anything about sex but we will be lying in bed together i used to feel her ass and things were going on like that.. Due to some f****y problems i was not able to meet her for next 10 yrs. when i saw her after few yrs she has grown into a very sexy girl. I thought of all the c***dhood incidents but i'm not sure she will be remembering all those days.
After few months we all gathered f... Continue»
Ten years ago I happen to find myself at one of those uncomfortable pseudo liberal parties in the hills of Hollywood where people usually went to get not-so-quietly d***k, abuse prescription meds and talk about endless unfiltered politics ..
I was there but for the good graces of my clique, a ragtag group of pirate Nixon’s if i ever saw one ..
It was a view into a world I had little use for but could not pull away from .. I had somehow come to take up the "token Black guy" position in this group and the cost of my vicarious entertainment at... Continue»
It was late one night when my doorbell rang. I opened up to find my best friend Jacob standing on the front step. He looked like hell so I knew something was up.
“Hey Dave, sorry I know it’s late, but can I crash here tonight?” he asked. Jacob and I were friends since we were in diapers so of course he knew my place was his place if he ever needed.
“Of course dude”, I replied gesturing him inside. “What’s up? Where’s Kathy?” Kathy was Jacob’s wife, a rather sexy blonde with a great pair of tits, but also a brutal temper. I always secretly wondered why he put up with her, but fr... Continue»
Julie Mc Adams leaned against her kitchen table and sipped a
glass of iced tea as she flipped through her mail. Between the
T.V. Guide and the electric bill was an envelope that had a
return address from Phoenix, Arizona. Tossing the other mail
aside, Julie took the letter into her bedroom where she sat down
on the edge of the bed to read it. The letter was in reply to
a personal ad she'd placed in a magazine called, "Hands On"
two months earlier. Her ad read:
"Got a hand that's just itching to spank a naughty bottom?
Attractive single lady 37, short black... Continue»
This story happened in May at my father's house in Florida. He has these striked rules for the house, be home by 11pm, leave room doors open, and wrost of all, NO SEX!!! Im 24 I shouldn't have to follow these rules. But here in my dad's house his words is law. Must follow orders. So, one mirning my dad left to work, since I do tattoos I can take take my jods anyware. I had a few things lined up for the aftetnoon hours, so I didn't have much to do in the morning I took a long shower and got dressed. Still had 4 hours to kill, since im not from here I'm pretty much stuck here, oh and my dad had ... Continue»
I am Priyesh from Patna. I am 19 years and I am doing 10+2. I think this brief introduction about me is more than enough. Actually I have a very strong sexual desire to fuck my aunt, She is really a hell of a women but I never got a chance to screw her. She never understood my intensions.Anyways I am going to tell you about my first ever sexual experience with my servant. We have a servant who works in our house she is around 17 years but you wont believe she is just 21 because she has a very sexy figure.
She is around 5feet5inch tall and has a sexy figure of 34-26-34. Recently I had starte... Continue»
My girlfriend invited me to her house, I found her s****r alone in the house, she was unbelievably sexy, she whispered in my ear, "i have feelings for you, shall we have sex" , I immediately turned around and walked to the front door to go to my car, I found my girlfriend standing there, she hugged me and said: "you've won my trust"... Moral of the story: always keep your condoms in the car... Continue»
I'm a average 40 year old married man for the last 15 years. Like often the case are sex life was going doll. Rachel & I have had sex all kinds of way's. We've done the latex& leather fetish, sexy lingerie&heels, whips&handcuffs, every position imaginable. But in the last year we barley had sex at all. We still loved each other but sex had become doll.
The fall of 2010 I started a new season of pickup hockey. Every Saturday morning I go to the local rink and play some ice hockey. So my first Saturday I noticed my new team mate, Jeff. He sat on the bench just across from me in the changing r... Continue»
Well, the wife is out again. Here I sit at the computer, checking out new videos on the Hamster with my cock in my hand. Meanwhile, the wife is out getting her holes filled with another guy's rod. She left here about 8:30, after getting all dolled up. Sometimes she will wear a slinky dress, garters, stockings and high heels, just like a porn star! I know when she shows up at her friend's house and he sees her, he must pop a raging hard-on the minute he opens the door. She loves going out and showing other guys her awesome blow-job skills. Patiently I wait for her to return, usually afte... Continue»
"If you're the kind of guy I think you are," he said. "Then I
know you'll accept this token of my gratitude."
"A simple handshake would suffice," I joked, as Tommy pulled down
my pants. My cock was rapidly rising to the occasion.
It was a good thing I was awake. The plane was about to land and the flight
attendants were checking everyone. After all my crazy dreams if one of them
had nudged me while I was sl**ping I know I would have screamed like a little
When I glanced to... Continue»
Todd Wood, 23, an interstate truck driver, experiences a lot of lonely nights, when his erotic fantasies are his only companion. He doesn' has a fetish with virgins, but as he says: There is an unfading attraction in the innocence of women, and you have to be extremely sensitive to be the first man in their life! And this one is his favourite fantasy:
It's two o'clock in the morning as I pull into the petrol station, not for gasoline but for some inspiration to quench my physical desire before a couple of hours of sl**p in the van. The little road shop seems to be unattended but open. I br... Continue»
Years ago as a young apprentice I was coming home from night school on a mid winter night. I used to catch the last train at night which was never busy as it stopped at the end of the line for the night ready for the first morning train. As I stayed not far from the terminus station it was nice to relax knowing that I wouldn’t miss my stop. There was only two other passengers waiting on the platform. One was a middle aged man and the other was an elder lady of about sixty. The train slid into the station with a familiar his of steam which billowed out over the platform hiding every one b... Continue»
I am not sure if this story belongs under this category since it doesn't involve nudity, but I think this is the most appropriate place. Last week I went to visit the guy I am dating, Adam. We were hanging out alone at his parent's house (they were out) and we decided to order pizza. While waiting for the pizza we started to fool around a little bit in his living room, and I ended up giving him a blowjob. I was really getting into it (Adam's always into it!) when the doorbell rang. I immediately stopped and pulled my face away. At that same moment Adam ejaculated unexpectedly. After the first ... Continue»
I was at home on vacation and i lived 2 weeks with a girl I fucked.
My ex girlfriend lives just a few miles in the next village.
She saw due to facebook that I was in town.
So she contacted me in order a meet me.
I never expected that she is gonna contact me as she broke up with me and I made me really ridicilous afterwards.
However, I was all excited but then she became sick over christmas and we did not meet up
Anyway, I still fucked the hot 21 year old hottie where I lived while I was in my hometown. So it was not too
But after a few days, the last day ... Continue»
Alright so last night I found out how really kinky my girlfriend is and I'll telling you why at the end. So last night I had gotten out of the shower and was in our bedroom and my girlfriend starts talking to me about average day things, then randomly she says to me "Hey babe, when's the last time you cummed in my heels?" Well, I was honest with her and told it's been awhile since I have because we've been busy and I asked her why and she says "Just wondering." So I'm still covered with a towel because I'm trying to find clothes to wear and I hear her in our closet and at that time I didn't th... Continue»