Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 75
The XXX Olympiad
"And welcome to Day Two of the round-up show of the Olympiad here in
London," a smart suited gentleman said to the camera in a clear voice with
a cheesy smirk. "And what a programme we have lined up for you today. It's
been thrills, excitement and plenty of action."
His co-host, a beautiful young lady with bouncing brunette hair and an
infectious smile nodded. "There's some great events coming up," she agreed
and the host leant back on the red sofa.
"First a look at the medal table." A screen popped up next to the autocue
and he turned to his co-host. "So Br... Continue»
Me and a few of my mates had gone round to another friends house for a night of beer and gaming .His name is simon and he has a very pretty gf called alice .She is about 5"3 and a size 12, brown hair , brown eyes and nice 32D tits.
Unfortunately she had gone out with her gf's so I couldn't ogle her tonight . Time was passing away and many games of Cod , halo and fifa had passed and a few beers downed .At about 1 O'clock in the morning we called it a night and began leaving , except I had driven some distance and had a few too many to drive home so Simon offered me his couch to sl**p on . I ac... Continue»
Hello guys and girls. Myself Rishi (20 yrs) from luck now. I am a student. I am here to narrate the first & till now last encounter of my life. I hope U guys like the whole encounter .It was summer vacation. I was alone at home since everyone from my f****y had gone to native place. My mom requested our neighbor Sandhya to give me food for those 15 days.
Sandhya was a very good lady; by nature as well as by looks. She was just 25 years of age and looks stunning even after 1 year of his marriage. She was damn hot & sexy. Her smile is the most pleasant thing of his beauty. She came to live in... Continue»
A lost art, whittling. Passed on from father to son, though in my f****y it had skipped a generation. I learned it from my grandfather. My father thought of it as a waste of time. Granddad taught me to use it as a thinking tool.
I had been doing this it seemed all my life. I would go to the backyard with a block of soft wood and my sharpened pocketknife and work problems through my head. Sometimes I would just daydream. The thinking and daydreams would end when the block of wood had become a discernible object. Over the years I had become good enough that some of my w... Continue»
CHRISSIE GOES HOUSE HUNTING
When I casually mentioned to one of clients during a session that I was toying with the idea of perhaps buying a house
and renting out my condo he needlessly took the time to remind that he owned one of the largest realty offices in
town. It must a salesman thing, not being able to leave business behind for an hour or two. You're no doubt
thinking to yourself "Hold on there Chrissie, don't forget you're a bit of salesperson yourself. After all your selling
your body to your clients every day." Let me clear something up for you. I've never had to sell my body... Continue»
one fact about hispanic teens in hispanic countries, that is taboo is as follow: Teens (hispanics) from 13 and 25 and even well in their adult hood, when they start discovering their bodies, they get help from other teens of the same sex, mostly in the male gender, they would learn how to give oral sex. they will start with jerk off circles or two somes, the obvious gay ones, would be the ones who would give oral sex and mostly the one who would take it up the ass. If these teens don't find a wife, or can't find a girlfriendwhile in their mid thirties, they will continue this type of sex well ... Continue»
Mr Cadbury met Miss Rowntree on a Double Decker.
It was just After Eight.
They got off at Quality Street .
He asked her name. 'Polo, I'm the one with the hole' she said with a Wispa.
'I'm Marathon , the one with the nuts' he replied.
He touched her Cream Eggs, which was a Kinder Surprise for her.
Then he slipped his hand into her Snickers, which made her Ripple.
He fondled her Jelly Babies and she rubbed his Tic Tacs.
Soon they were Heart Throbs.
It was a Fab moment as she screamed in Turkish Delight.
But, 3 days later, his Sherbet Dip Dab started to itch.
Please comment on this story. It’s my first one and I would like to write more about the things that I’ve done and improve on how to write. Thanks for reading my fellow perverts!
In my fam I’m the youngest of 5, 2 guys & 3 girls. Daddy was always out of town working, mama was usually with friends playing bingo, or some other mom bullshit. I’m pretty sure she was cheating with someone because we all knew daddy was fucking around. He was previously married with several k**s, plus 2 other k**s from flings that we found out about years later. He was pretty easy going with my bros, but us girls... Continue»
When reading this it must be read with a ITALIAN ACCENT....
One day I go to Toronto and stay in a bigga hotel.
I go down to eat soma breakfast. I tella the waitress I wanna two
pissa toast. She bring me only one piss.
I tella her I wanna two piss; she say, go to toilet - I say, you no
understand, I wanna two piss on my plate. She say you betta no piss on
plate, you sonna ma b*tch! I don't even know lady, she calla me somma
Then I go to pharmacia with a cougha. The man he give me candy ana
tell me fa cough! - I don't even know man ana he tella me FA COUGH!
Little known fact. I happen to work in an adult store, yep, I sell dildos, vibes, porn, pipes and bongs for a living. The other night much like any other night i was working the closing shift as I always do, it gets slow in the middle of the week so i usually sit on my table chatting on here to pass the time. In walks this girl, brown hair and curvy. Wearing a very low cut shirt under her jacket. She looks around at the toys for a while then comes over to the counter where all the lube is kept in the glass display. I walk over on the other side of the counter and ask if she needed anything. "I... Continue»
In our place, there is one quack doctor as I can say. We locally called this "manghihilot", whenever we have some kind of sickness that medical doctors can not cure, we turn to them for cure. They usually use oil and oration and other amulets that drives sickness or bad spirits away. They usually do "hilot" or a type of curative massage that focuses on relieving bodily pains and sickness.
Our "manghihilot" is known in our area since I was a c***d, during that time he is on his 50s or something. Until now, he still performs "hilot" and at his age, which I assume at around 80s, is still ... Continue»
by Kathy B.
"Mark! I'm over here!" I waved my hands wildly, trying to get my husband's
attention. It was useless though; he couldn't hear me over the noise of the
crowd and he hadn't noticed our booth when he walked past.
"Hey, lady. Can we get some pies here or not?" A sweaty, overweight man
stood beside three sweaty, underweight k**s. Each c***d clutched a dollar bill
in their dirty little fists.
I took a last look at Mark's back, disappearing behind the Ferris Wheel.
Oh, well, he'd keep looking until he found me. I'd get his attention t... Continue»
We couldn't wait for the class to end. Even after cumming boy was I still horny. I wanted Jane really bad. She wasn't particularly good looking but there was smth in her that made a guy crazy. Maybe the way that she handled herself, maybe her long lingering looks. I don't know, but she sure as hell made every guy fantasize about her. There were a few times where I remember picturing her naked while pleasuring myself. But even in my wildest dreams I had never imagined all this to happen.
Finally the class ended and the professor decided to let us go. I immediately turned towards her and said:... Continue»
My name is Emma and this is the story of how I became a sex slave. I was to be turning thirteen in another 4 months. I have three older triplet b*****rs that are 17 years old. Also my mom and dad are very strict. If we don’t do our chores or get in trouble at school then they would spank us. It was always very humiliating because if we did something wrong then everyone, even guests would be gathered in the living room and whichever one of us was to be disciplined would roll two dice and the results of the roll will determine how many times each person in the room spanked you. Also everyone h... Continue»
By now, if you’ve been following this mini-series you should have read:
'Girl with the Horse Cock' Parts 1 and 2, uploaded by Drew Robbins from Indiana (see link in My Favourites),
My story, called 'Episode 40 – Girl with the Horse Cock',
and finally the slightly unusual 'Girl with the Horse Cock Part 3' (see My Favourites again).
If you haven’t the time here is a very brief synopsis:
We first met Amy – the girl with the Horse-cock in Part 1 – it was the result of a dreadful accident, swallowing a drop of pure Horse DNA on a school trip to the experimental horse br... Continue»
SITTING THERE IN CHURCH LISTENING TO THE PREACHER…I STARTED TO THINK ABOUT HOW MUCH FUN THAT I HAD THE NIGHT BEFORE WIT MY LOVE….IT STARTED ME GETTING ALL HOTT AND EXCITED….
I BEGIN TO FEEL THE MOISTURE BEGIN BETWEEN MY LEGS AND FEEL THE THROBBING AND TWITCHING THAT UNYQUE WAS DOING….OH YES UNYQUE IS THE NAME OF MY PUSSY FOR THOSE THAT DON’T KNOW YET…
SHE GIVES ME SIGNALS OF WHEN SHE WANT DICK IN HER LIFE….I BEGIN TO MOVE AROUND ON THE BENCH TRYING TO TAME AND QUIET HER DOWN….BUT THAT WASN’T HELPING ME OUT ONE BIT…
I GLANCED OVA MY RIGHT SHOULDER AND NOTICED THIS FINE AZZ GUY LOOKING ... Continue»
Off the coast of Africa it was a stormy dark night. The sailing ship about a mile out at sea was being battered by the violent rain and thunder storm. The mast was torn from the ship and fell overboard and the ship took on water from waves coming over it's sides and draining down the hatches filling the hull of the vessel. The ship was rocked and slammed back and forth breaking apart from the torrid storm and sank to the bottom of the ocean.
Out of the 50 man crew only 2 survived and washed up on the sandy beach. As the storm subsided and the sun rose it became a nice calm day. The 2 men ... Continue»
Ceri my sexy saucy girlfriend was having a night out with the girls. It had been a while since she has been out and she was looking forward to it. As in my previous story Ceri like’s to flirt around with my mates and other lads she finds hot. She love’s being touched up and I don’t mind her having a bit of fun now and again. We had a steaming threesome with a male college friend of mine a few years ago. Since then our sex life has been pretty normal.
My good friend Dave was staying over our house to keep me company while she was out for the night. We had a load of beers in and were having a... Continue»
A friend of mine is a doctor and as part of her training she did a stint in the sexual health wing of the hospital she was working in. She is a very game girl constantly regaling us with tales of funny medical incidents. She told me about games she and her colleagues played to keep themselves amused and spirits high while working in quite a gritty environment.
She said they had a hilarious time asking really intimate questions because people would answer 100% honestly (very eye opening she said).. other guys would treat it like counselling and the moment the door shut on the examination r... Continue»
Again – all my stories are absolutely true
2006 February, 22
about 11:40 am
Damn, I really hated sports when I was in school. Not that I don’t like sports in general, but considering I already had a quite big bosom when I was 16 it was really a pain when I had to jog or to make gymnastic exercises. If you can’t understand, just bind a pair of sand bags over your breast and try to jog properly. I think everyone can imagine the problem then. The best bra doesn’t help with that problem, my back starts to hurt and the breasts are bouncing wildly while running, but that’s not the biggest... Continue»