Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 73

Doctors Visit

I walked into the doctors office, the nurse took my weight and checked my bl**d pressure than took me to a room and said go ahead and take your clothes off, the doctor will be with you soon.

I’m a petite woman at 5’2, small with perky breast (so I’ve been told) a nice little firm and bubbly butt and yes, I am a proud owner of one of the thickest pussy out there, my lips are so huge it can cover most of anyone’s face who likes to eat.

Anyway, I disrobed and lied down on the chair, the room was a bit chilly and my nipples were solid hard, it took the doctor 10 minutes to come in the room. ... Continue»
Posted by dlbiblkm 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 6698  |  
91%
  |  15

I Just Fucked a Virgin

My wife and I had another one of our legendary fights and I decided to just go stay at a hotel for the night and just relax. The clerk stared at me kind of funny when I went to check in at 9pm and didn't have any ID. I explained to him the fight with my wife and how I'd left my wallet at home and the story about my emergency cash stash in the car and, with a $100 tip, I soon had a no-questions-asked room with double queens.

After dropping off my bag I went down to the restaurant and got in a quick bite. I had a rum & cola with the dinner that I didn't even touch so I just took it back to t... Continue»
Posted by PureCoffee 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 4383  |  
91%
  |  7

Quietly Watching

I was 16 and dating the sexiest girl I've ever known. She had huge, firm tits, a perfectly round ass and the sweetest curves imaginable. Well, my best female friend was having a house party while her parents were out of town. There were maybe 15 people there, not a large crowd, but a bunch of us stayed over for the night.

My girl and I crashed in the living room... as did the hostess and another friend of ours. It was only a few minutes after the room had gone quiet when I started to gently caress my girl's delicious behind. She rubbed herself up against my leg and I could instantly ... Continue»
Posted by spudrico27 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 3144  |  
91%
  |  4

My naughty s****r cumming into my bedroom at night

When we were young my s****r would sneak into my bedroom at the end of the hall and would. Curiously pull back the blanket and take my dick out of my under wear and look at it and fell it. I was about 16 she was 14. I had sex before and she never has but I did see her with moms dildo in her pussy before! She would come into my room almost every night and play with my dick. I would move a little and she would duck under the bed. She figured I was sl**ping. So after about two week of this she got a little braver and put her soft lips around my cock for just a second and when she did it again I r... Continue»
Posted by Richard234 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 7057  |  
91%
  |  11

My best friend got lucky and shared with me

My best friend when I was 16 lived 2 doors down. We did most everything together. We'd go to the mall, movies and swam at the pool. Today we were going to go to the pool after school. He told me to come to his house when I was ready. We had known each other for years, our families too. It was normal for us to just walk in each others house like f****y. I had changed my clothes when I got home and went to his house, walking in as usual and headed to his room. When I reached his door, which was half open, I stopped. Looking in I saw he was naked laying on the bed, and his step-s****r was sucking... Continue»
Posted by querico44 4 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 2626  |  
91%
  |  4

The Creation Of The Vagina

My 2nd Story:
The Creation Of The Vagina


There were seven wise men so fine.
creating a pussy to thier design.
The first was a butcher, Short and wit, using a knife he created a slit.
The second was a sculptor, strong and bold, using a hammer and chisel he created a hole.
The third was a hunter, short and stout, using the fur of a fox he lined it without.
The fourth was a fisherman, nasty as hell, he threw in a fish giving it the smell.
The fifth was a chef, short and big around the waste, he sprinkled some salt giving it a salty taste.
The sixith was a milk man, Tall and thin, he ... Continue»
Posted by Ari32 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 427  |  
91%
  |  7

Fourth of July Slumber Party

This Fourth of July started out just like any other. Little did I know that this day would change my life forever. I went over to my boyfriend's house in the middle of the afternoon for the f****y picnic. The plan was for me to watch fireworks with Danny, my boyfriend, and his f****y and then take his s****r, Whitney, to their aunt's house.

The day went exactly as planned. We went to Danny's grandparents' house for dinner, then to the park to watch fireworks. After fireworks, I gave Danny a kiss goodbye then Whitney and I drove to their aunt's house.

"Want to come up and have a few dri... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 904  |  
91%
  |  2

Velma cums clean with Shaggy

Shaggy felt cold slobber on his face, waking him immediately. "Oh man, Scooby..." he groaned. Scooby-Doo, his Great Dane, began giggling and licked his face again. Shaggy responded by a scratch between his brown ears. "Norville!!" a female voice called from upstairs. "Come and get breakfast!"

"Mom, like, stop calling me that!"

"As long as you're still living in my basement, I'll call you whatever I like, now get your breakfast!"

Shaggy looked at Scooby and said, "Like, well, let's get something to eat." Food was his primary motivation in doing anything.

Shaggy ran up the stairs, cl... Continue»
Posted by shmoe13 4 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1058  |  
91%
  |  4

The night of my LIFE!

My name is justin and this is my story. Well for starters I am a 5'7 male very strong build ( I play football) and I am apparently socially accepted.

It all happened on one random lonely warm night. Nothing out of place or in favor to clue a hint to this leading up to what would possibly be the most extreme not of my young life. I am a computer junky and its all I know (besides football). I live in an apartment building above my Aunt and her f****y of 5. Her second older daughter being the same age as me. Our entire lives we competed to see who was the best. We were always the same height.... Continue»
Posted by DrLoveMonkey 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 2065  |  
91%
  |  4

Dad is boss

I have a strange story. My dad had a high sex drive and I could hear he and mom fuck many times every night. He also fucked her every morning before they got up. My room was next to theirs and I could hear it all. I was the oldest of four k**s. I had two s****rs and a b*****r younger than me. We were all home schooled and seldom left our farm. My mom was a sexy looking woman and dad was very handsome. I could see why they fucked all the time. I walked in the kitchen one time when dad had his hand under moms dress and was fingering her pussy as she stood in front of the sink. When I walked in h... Continue»
Posted by justfordaddy 1 year ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 13207  |  
91%
  |  9

Fucking my Bosses Chubby Daughter

True story, though doesn't every one start that way...
When I was twenty I worked at a resort in the hills of Northern California. I was cooking for a seasonal resort hotel-restaurant. The place was, or still is, in a part of the redwood forest on a secluded stretch of Highway 101, a short walk from the dramatic cliffs and winding trails down to lagoons of the California coast.
The job was lousy, but the pay was incredible and the scenery was unbeatable. The main advantage of the place was that it was a beautiful resort, and it was large and secluded enough that it had housing and apart... Continue»
Posted by apparatus 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 2271  |  
90%
  |  8

Farm job

My wife and I own alot of property,and a few horses.I am 6 foot tall 220 and about 8 inches.She is 5'2 about 140 and has 38dd tits,mm nice. Ok we got a horse that was about 2 years old.One day it seemed to be a little down so i called the vet.Lora asked me what the vet said. "he said the horse,Sam we called him,was in need of some attention.he said if I jerk it off the thing will be fine." She laughed.So reluctant to do it i asked my wife if she would please help me.It took some persuation but it was for Sam's health so she finally agreed to help,but seemed disgusted be it.
[image]http://2
... Continue»
Posted by sexybirsen 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 6074  |  
90%
  |  12

Funniest story ever!! ...Enjoy

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful younger s****r.

My prospective s****r-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate because she never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day her 'little' s****r called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I ... Continue»
Posted by thedurbnow 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 2145  |  
90%
  |  9

Malini having sex with milkman

When Malini got married to Devender, people who attended their wedding said the match is not alright. Because Malini was a cute short statured, delicate beauty, whereas Devemder was a seven footer, with large limbs fit for a basket ball player or a boxer. Malini had done her graduation in Hindi and Devender also did his grad. and was working in a govt. office.

He liked to eat good and tasty food and malini was an expert cook. But in the bedroom he was a brute. He never talked to her small niceties or did anything by way of foreplay. When he feels like sex, he just sticks his penis into her ... Continue»
Posted by lildudexst 2 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1058  |  
90%

The Dentist Put Her Under and Put It in Her

"It's a wreck, is what it is," Tommy Cordova half mumbled through the gauze of the surgical mask, his face bent closely to Kate's face, the polished steel mirror working to varying angles in her mouth.

I heard Kate stifle a sob, her right eye doing a minute tic towards where I stood, arms crossed, sagged in the corner of the exam room.

Tommy straightened up after another moment and slipped the magnified safety glasses off his face. "Two molars are shot. The one furthest back looks okay."

"I don't want 'em pulled," Kate mumbled, lifting up in the dental chair just a bit.

"Gotta come... Continue»
Posted by PureCoffee 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 5341  |  
90%
  |  2

Story of my Life: My Sister and I

This story and all the stories that follow are true, but the names of most of the people (except my own) have changed. Everything else is as true as I can remember it.
__________________________________________

My name is Vanessa Abigail Genai. This is a story of the first time I ever started masturbating.

At the time I was only nine years old. I had not yet begun puberty so I was still flat and hairless. Those who knew me, always said I was beautiful, even back then. I had long blonde hair that reached to my shoulders. I always kept it loose and flowing. I had bright blue eyes. I had s... Continue»
Posted by v-a-gina 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 1526  |  
90%
  |  12

My wifes new job

Angela got ready for her first day of work at the LE
GIRLS agency in downtown Manhattan. She felt anxious
but mostly disgusted with having to get the job. It was
only because of her husband that she got it to begin
with. He had lost another job and now hung around the
house in his underwear looking shabby and mostly
pathetic. Life had been very difficult most times with
him but now they were near impossible. Even their sex
life suffered. Where once they had sex every night, now
they barely had it once a month.

She looked at herself in the mirror. Not too bad she
thought... Continue»
Posted by griffen1 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 1572  |  
90%
  |  4

MY HOT MOM AND FRIEND TOMMY

MY HOT MOM AND FRIEND TOMMY.

My Mom is one hot Milf! Well that what I’ve been told by my friends at school you see when my mom picks me up from school all my friends gather around my car hoping to get a look at her tits and her really sexy legs mom always wears short skirts and low cut tops and sometimes stocking as you can catch a glimpse as she gets out of the car,
It’s no wonder they all want to look I’m sure she know she’s teasing them she never tries to hide the fact that she showing herself to us young lads,

I think it’s so nice to have a mom that is so sexy everyone wants to be ... Continue»
Posted by bobbyblue53 1 year ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 6477  |  
90%
  |  3

"A Day In A Life"

Bill had left for work an hour earlier. His last action before shutting the door was a perfunctory kiss on her cheek as he hurried out the door, his mind already occupied on the day's events. Again, he had missed the significance of her squeeze on his upper arm; again he missed entirely, the questioning look she gave his retreating back.

"Jay; get up, you're going to be late." Jean shouted at the top of her voice over the edge of the banister. Jamie was a typical angst ridden teenage young man, lazy and disinclined to venture out of bed before the last minute, or he had ... Continue»
Posted by fotoplace 5 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 780  |  
90%
  |  2

Wow... Random woman dry humps me at Target? (10/1

Not good with writing stories, just joined x hamster a few months ago, but anyways this is a true story it just happened to me earlier today. (10/1/11)

So my mom and i went to to Target to get some stuff, and like i normally do at most stores i go check out the electronics section and game section while my mom shops for food and stuff. So im checking out the new game releases for xbox like MW3 and Battlefield, then i see a shelf full of these cool funny shirts in the mens clothing department. As i was reading all of these funny shirts i briefly looked up and my eyes met this woman who was s... Continue»
Posted by PigtailPuller 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 2547  |  
90%
  |  6