Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 73
I must be the only 18 yr old that is still a virgin. That is that I have never been fucked by a penis.
I started fingering my clit when I was in middle school. Went out with friends, some of the boys had felt me up and some of them had slid their fingers in my clit. They would rub up and down, but none of them really made it to my pussy hole.
One night at the movies,i was sitting mext to this boy who I wanted to be my first. He and I were kissing and feeling each others stuff. For him to be 14 and me 13 he had a big cock. He was hard to the touch and I rubbed it thru his pants. ... Continue»
Recently I saw a couple of photos posted on xhamster of a chick with a banana shoved half-way up her twat. Got we very hot and I saved them to my favorites if you're curious to see them.
That image took me back several years. I had this girlfriend who let me fuck her with a banana on the kitchen table. Naturally, I fucked her with my dick in just about every room of that house, but having her buck-naked, spread-eagle on the dining table with a banana in her (fucked her with a carrot a few times too) was quite a hot thing to see. Especially the time my room-mate who was supposed to be ... Continue»
I’m just on the way round to see the Minger… it’ll be for the last time because once I’ve shagged her gross little body I’m going to dump her… naturally she doesn’t know that. In fact I’ve really been quite nice to her recently… well nice by my standards… built up her hopes that we will be ‘an item’, perhaps get married one day.
Me… married? That’s a facking laugh… show me a ‘happily’ married man and I’ll show you a facking loser… and I’ll tell you why he’s a fa... Continue»
man that was one hellava night the sex was priceless ,the sl**p extra well rested lol.I expected sex what i did not expect was a good fucking like that she was a pro when she bent over thats all she wrote.Recovering i decided to take a shower when i heard a lil laugh , see i was in the bed contenplaton when that laugh that i keep hearing became louder "HOLY SHIT" she was in the bed laying with me the whole time reminising i had not got up to piss or any thing i simply opened my eyes and started to think she popped her head up from the covers and said great sex hun? I replied yes ver... Continue»
I got all tarted up for some sex as my twat was wet and begging for cock. I wore fishnet tights, short red skirt, red knickers, big red heels and a red tight crop top with no bra on. I had my big hoop earrings in and wore red lipgloss and lots of make-up in general. I went around to the back of the spar and met up with Jason, Nicky and Jake.
Jake who lives near me from the Chav sex trade story was there. He’d fucked me a few times when his mum and dad weren’t in at his house after the Chav sex trade story but he was at back of spar this night. Jake is very sexy and can cum 3 times easy whe... Continue»
Lying in bed she said: shall we watch a porno? What, really? I asked, not sure if it was some sort of trap, wary from her Columbo routine by now.
But she was really, not really sure, but really all the same. Ok, but I’m not sure if I know any websites. She laughed – such an absurd lie could not be taken too seriously.
Up popped the main page. It’s a bit much she complained. These are just the categories, I said, we haven’t even got to the proper bit yet!
I scrolled down the categories. Ok, so we’ve got interracial, mature, storyline, female friendly – what’s that? she asked. That’s wher... Continue»
10. Flirting is all about attitude. A good flirt is self-confident and not afraid to take risks. Be enthusiastic, open and positive. It works!
9. Start a conversation. The best opening line is saying hello. Talk about the surroundings, ask a question, ask for help, make a joke, state an opinion. Make sure you are calm and composed but just do it before the person you've got your eye on walks out of the bar or passed you in the street, never to be seen again!
8. Have fun. Be playful, light-hearted and spontaneous. Show your vulnerability.
7. Use props. Never leave home without a pr... Continue»
This is not actually mine my friend told me it was hers and she said if I can post it here.
My friend and as a lover:
It was one Friday morning, when Jake texted me about going out for some breakfast and have a little friendly talk. He said "Hey Maddy I want to tell you something about your boyfriend Nick". I was so curious about how he said he wants to tell me something about my bf. So I replied "sure there's no big deal about that I guess..." so i sat down the bench waiting for Jake to pick me up after talking to Nick for about five minutes Jake arrived and let me in his car. Jake ... Continue»
Trevor woke the next morning feeling invigorated. The previous days escapades had put a spring in his step, several in fact. As he descended the stairs to the kitchen below he couldn't help but whistle a jaunty tune.
Good morning f****y! He said bursting into the kitchen.
Well someone seems happy this morning! Ellen said, before taking a swig of coffee.
You are correct Mother dear, I have never felt better in all my days! Trevor said with a grin
so what are you gonna do today b*o? Jack asked.
Why don't you come to work with me son, they've all been asking about you? Carl said.
Her name is Elisa Grumway and although she may look like a Supermodel she is anything but.
She drinks to much, smokes cheap cigars and eats more McDonalds than a long haul trucker and yet she has an amazing figure. When asked how she pulls it off she always answers:
"Good Genes and lots of Running"
Elisa is a Bail Enf***ement Officer aka Bounty Hunter.
You may ask how a Woman who looks like so stunning and should be prancing down a Catwalk in Milan fell into the Hunting game, well it all began Two years earlier.
After being "dismissed" from a brief stint as Mrs. Cluck (a cos... Continue»
This is my first story so do read with patience and forgive me for my mistakes.
when i was 10, i started to feel something to her we used to play games and play in bed during c***dhood. Those days we dont know anything about sex but we will be lying in bed together i used to feel her ass and things were going on like that.. Due to some f****y problems i was not able to meet her for next 10 yrs. when i saw her after few yrs she has grown into a very sexy girl. I thought of all the c***dhood incidents but i'm not sure she will be remembering all those days.
After few months we all gathered f... Continue»
Ten years ago I happen to find myself at one of those uncomfortable pseudo liberal parties in the hills of Hollywood where people usually went to get not-so-quietly d***k, abuse prescription meds and talk about endless unfiltered politics ..
I was there but for the good graces of my clique, a ragtag group of pirate Nixon’s if i ever saw one ..
It was a view into a world I had little use for but could not pull away from .. I had somehow come to take up the "token Black guy" position in this group and the cost of my vicarious entertainment at... Continue»
(Rewrite of a story I made a long time ago)*
"Dick, you must find a way to help me," complained Sarah to her husband. She felt she was fat and needed help to shape up.
Dick was happy his plan was working. He had deliberately made comments to give her that impression, that she was fat and needed to exercise to reduce her weight.
"You are not really that fat," said her husband, deliberately sounding unconvincing.
"Oh yes, I am! You yourself have said that many times," insisted Sarah. "I weigh 150 lbs! And my breast are so big!"
"But you are... well, perhaps a bit stout, but you ha... Continue»
It was late one night when my doorbell rang. I opened up to find my best friend Jacob standing on the front step. He looked like hell so I knew something was up.
“Hey Dave, sorry I know it’s late, but can I crash here tonight?” he asked. Jacob and I were friends since we were in diapers so of course he knew my place was his place if he ever needed.
“Of course dude”, I replied gesturing him inside. “What’s up? Where’s Kathy?” Kathy was Jacob’s wife, a rather sexy blonde with a great pair of tits, but also a brutal temper. I always secretly wondered why he put up with her, but fr... Continue»
Julie Mc Adams leaned against her kitchen table and sipped a
glass of iced tea as she flipped through her mail. Between the
T.V. Guide and the electric bill was an envelope that had a
return address from Phoenix, Arizona. Tossing the other mail
aside, Julie took the letter into her bedroom where she sat down
on the edge of the bed to read it. The letter was in reply to
a personal ad she'd placed in a magazine called, "Hands On"
two months earlier. Her ad read:
"Got a hand that's just itching to spank a naughty bottom?
Attractive single lady 37, short black... Continue»
This story happened in May at my father's house in Florida. He has these striked rules for the house, be home by 11pm, leave room doors open, and wrost of all, NO SEX!!! Im 24 I shouldn't have to follow these rules. But here in my dad's house his words is law. Must follow orders. So, one mirning my dad left to work, since I do tattoos I can take take my jods anyware. I had a few things lined up for the aftetnoon hours, so I didn't have much to do in the morning I took a long shower and got dressed. Still had 4 hours to kill, since im not from here I'm pretty much stuck here, oh and my dad had ... Continue»
I am Priyesh from Patna. I am 19 years and I am doing 10+2. I think this brief introduction about me is more than enough. Actually I have a very strong sexual desire to fuck my aunt, She is really a hell of a women but I never got a chance to screw her. She never understood my intensions.Anyways I am going to tell you about my first ever sexual experience with my servant. We have a servant who works in our house she is around 17 years but you wont believe she is just 21 because she has a very sexy figure.
She is around 5feet5inch tall and has a sexy figure of 34-26-34. Recently I had starte... Continue»
My girlfriend invited me to her house, I found her s****r alone in the house, she was unbelievably sexy, she whispered in my ear, "i have feelings for you, shall we have sex" , I immediately turned around and walked to the front door to go to my car, I found my girlfriend standing there, she hugged me and said: "you've won my trust"... Moral of the story: always keep your condoms in the car... Continue»
I'm a average 40 year old married man for the last 15 years. Like often the case are sex life was going doll. Rachel & I have had sex all kinds of way's. We've done the latex& leather fetish, sexy lingerie&heels, whips&handcuffs, every position imaginable. But in the last year we barley had sex at all. We still loved each other but sex had become doll.
The fall of 2010 I started a new season of pickup hockey. Every Saturday morning I go to the local rink and play some ice hockey. So my first Saturday I noticed my new team mate, Jeff. He sat on the bench just across from me in the changing r... Continue»
Well, the wife is out again. Here I sit at the computer, checking out new videos on the Hamster with my cock in my hand. Meanwhile, the wife is out getting her holes filled with another guy's rod. She left here about 8:30, after getting all dolled up. Sometimes she will wear a slinky dress, garters, stockings and high heels, just like a porn star! I know when she shows up at her friend's house and he sees her, he must pop a raging hard-on the minute he opens the door. She loves going out and showing other guys her awesome blow-job skills. Patiently I wait for her to return, usually afte... Continue»