Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 73

Bare Beach By Bicycle

For foxy female friends - by Petra, granddod of Poet Pete, who hosts me here

I invite her for a trip to the beach by bicycle. I make sure she takes the racing bike up front.
I guide her through the greenery to the dunes through a natural park to the almost deserted beach.
I love to look at her legs and ass move up and down while she wheels just two meters ahead of me.
I wonder whether I should have asked her not to wear anything underneath that sexy short skirt?

I will get her wet when we bake in the sun on the warm sand almost out of view for shore walkers.
I already know how... Continue»
Posted by petdyke 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
775
  |  
92%
  |  6

The Bra from Hell

They are kind of rare these days but this was an actual cocktail party given by the professional association to which I belong. So being work related I had no choice but to be there. This one was easy as it was held in a restaurant’s bar and I was going to meet friends afterward.

I was standing in line waiting to get a drink when a very lovely woman got in line behind me. When I looked to see who it was thinking perhaps it might be a colleague, she gave me a welcoming smile so I said, “Can I buy you a drink?” “Well since they are courtesy of the association I guess you can!” she ... Continue»
Posted by windsorkeith 18 days ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
8784
  |  
92%
  |  6

DO'NT BE LATE FOR DINNER

Back in my early days of my career in the plumbing business I had struggled and work long hard hours to gain the experience
it would take to work a plumbing service van . When my big break came I found employment with a top notch company which quickly put BIG dollars in my pocket. The last thing I needed was to lose this once in a lifetime job by having an affair with my supervisors wife.

When I first became employed at my dream job I quickly impressed one of my supervisors named Mike and gained trust with him
as we became friends at work and on our down time. On... Continue»
Posted by davyjones35 6 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
9493
  |  
92%
  |  6

Theatrical......3

Theatrical ….3

I awoke with a start 2 hours later and quickly looked around, he was sitting in the chair in just his boxer shorts watching the sport, I sighed as I rested my head back down on the pillow, it had not been a dream, I really was with him but I also realised that the wine contributed to my collapse but I felt totally rested, I also realised that I was in the bed as he had covered me up in bed , I curled up in the bed happy to be with him and watched him, he turned and looked at me then came over then bent and kissed me, I felt so relaxed as I reached up and curled my arm aroun... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
270
  |  
92%
  |  1

When I became a sex maniac a few years ago

When I became a sex maniac a few years ago, I immediately worried that the Caveman might not be able to handle me - satisfy me. I didn't see that it would take time for us to really learn how to have sex together (duh!). But over these weeks of having a lot of love making and writing stories about it, we've really come along way (couldn't resist the pun).


Every time we have sex it's a little different, a little saucier, a little sexier: sometimes because it's naughtier, sometimes because it's gentler, and always because it's starting to feel completely unscripted. By writing these sex sto... Continue»
Posted by alexandra17xx 3 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
642
  |  
92%
  |  12

The Red Miniskirt

(Skirt leads mature couple to sexual adventure)

My wife and I have been married for 25 years – she is 45 and I am 48. It took a little red skirt to bring us the sexual adventure of our lives.

For our anniversary just over last autumn , I bought her a gold bracelet and booked a short country house break but as a fun present for me she ordered a short tight red mini skirt from a mail order company. I wasn’t to know how much of a “fun” present it would turn out to be although the first time she modelled it with a pair of lacey topped stockings I could see the real potential.

Babs is blon... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
1253
  |  
92%
  |  2

A TEENAGE BI SLUT and ASS WHORE


Ever since I was a small boy, I would sneak in my parents room where my mom and dad kept a stash of sex toys by the bed. I was so young, I could barely get a hard on but I would take mom's dildo and cram it in my tight little asshole.
It always felt good and I knew from even that young pre high school age that my ass was something that was special.

One summer I had two of the neighborhood guys stay over for the weekend and that night, after my parents went to bed, the three of us started kinda fooling around and by touching each others cocks and balls and a couple of us even kissed ea
... Continue»
Posted by bifun4u 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
6317
  |  
92%
  |  5

Carole’s hairy cunt and the massage

See the photos that go with this story at “Carole’s hairy cunt and the massage”

Since being with Keith (my husband) most of my sexual encounters have been with him in attendance and indeed filming the action or joining in.

However, some have occurred without him being there and Keith tolerates this as long as I tell him all the graphic details later and I let him act out the encounter afterwards. So a win, win for me!

One such occasion occurred a few years ago when we were at Cap d’Agde the French naturist resort.

I had suggested that I’d like a massage whilst we were on holiday a... Continue»
Posted by CaroleX 3 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
2813
  |  
92%
  |  17

The Basketball Game

My wife and I were all excited our favorite team was playing for the conference title. We got our shirts own with the school logo, school colored sweat pants, fixed our drinks, and turned the tube on. We were not picked to win but had been playing well in the tournament. My wife has a large frame about 5"6" tall, beautiful 36DD tits, 29" waist, and 38" butt. She handles her weight well at 155 lbs., she is very strong. To look at her one would guess her to be 25 lbs. lighter.

The shirt she wearing was one of mine that buttoned in the front. She stretched it across the front with her large t... Continue»
Posted by crabber 2 months ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
7125
  |  
92%
  |  2

Having Friends for Lunch: Strange Relationship &nd

With a Sunday afternoon unexpectedly free – many thanks to Richard’s rabble of students, to a man seemingly unable to cope with the dual pressures of actually doing work and handing it in on time, leaving Richard with piles of marking to do – I decided to hit the bookshops. Sounds sad, I know, but I find little to compare with the simple pleasure afforded by wrapping myself in a good book! Internet sites are all terribly convenient, but for me book shopping should be a tactile, sensual experience. I need to pick up and flick through fifty books before I decide. Thus, opting f... Continue»
Posted by ChrisTracy 6 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
385
  |  
92%

A cucumber, a Penis and an Olive...!!

A cucumber, an olive and a penis are talking.

The cucumber says "I hate my life, when I get big fat and juicy they cut me up and put me in salad."

The olive says "That's nothing, when I get big fat and juicy they cut me up and put me on pizza."

The penis says "You think you have it bad, when I get big fat and juicy they put me in a bag, throw me in a cave, shut the door and leave me there till I throw up"

... Continue»
Posted by papa61 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
299
  |  
92%
  |  4

Bad girl returns with the chav lads

Hi

My computer fucked up so have not been online for ages. Sorry about this. Will be on msn again too.

Anyway I am back and here is another true story about me and this chav crew I go with.

I went to Jason house as well I wanted some sex and a cool time. Anyway when I got there all the other lads were there so Jamie 19, Mickey 18, Nicky 18 and Cris 18.

They were on their way to get me as they had not seen me for a few days so were getting the urge for a shag and wanted to just chill out with me as well.

We went to the back of the spar around 11pmish so it was pretty dark. T... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
178
  |  
92%
  |  1

New Life Part 3

Part 3
"are you just about ready dear?" Linda inquired as she put the last of her face on.
"I am, sweet heart, we'd better get going or we're going to be late," Braxton retorted as he cinched his tie into place and gave it the usual wiggle to make sure we wasn't going to choke. "Alright sweetie, going to get the car, I'll be waiting for you out front." yes sir, she smirked as he fled out of the door.
She then grabbed her hand bag and made her way out of the front door, where her car and super handsome driver awaited. However just as she was about to open the door, Braxton in a flash had ... Continue»
Posted by JerseyBean 5 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
241
  |  
92%
  |  1

10 strange facts about kissing

Think you know a thing or two about kissing? You probably do. But the facts below are so off the beaten path, we’ll bet you don’t know them all—and they could come in handy. Not only could they provide some steamy “Did you know…?” chit chat, but they’ll help you see all the benefits a satisfying lip lock can bring into your life. Happy smooching!

1. Two out of every three couples turn their heads to the right when they kiss.

2. A simple peck uses two muscles; a passionate kiss, on the other hand, uses all 34 muscles in your face. Now that’s a rigorous workout!

3. Like fingerprints or ... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
437
  |  
92%

the duster b*****rs (( its a book iam writting spe

where to start i guess from the beginning will be a good place. well our story starts back in 300 A.D when draclua the king of all vampires has 3 sons. by one of his wifes drake the oldest spike the middel son and lan the youngest. the three b*****rs was raised to be perfect killers as most vampires princes's are but these three was diffrent as the grew up they grew in power as a gift to them on their 15th birthday they was each given a leather duster. each with their own symble on the back of it. drakes had a pentagram with flames o nthe back of it. spikes had a silver upside down cross known... Continue»
Posted by shadowxfire 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
162
  |  
92%

IN THE COUNTRY CLUB

We met up with some friends over xmas in a posh country club for some drinks. It was only meant to be for a couple, but it soon turned in to quite alot more than a couple. After about 6 or 7 pints we all nipped outside to the cold for a ciggy. Our friends headed back inside and we followed, i jokingly said to the Mrs, lets go into the men's toilets and have some fun, i din't think she would be up for it but she turned and walked straight in without even checking. We headed to 1 of the 2 cubicles and locked the door. I put the lid down and pulled her leggings down exposing her sexy lacy thong a... Continue»
Posted by himNher 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
1332
  |  
92%
  |  3

Realease the Krakken

This is actually a completely random post. I was talking with my a friend the other day, and he reminded me of something I did at a party a while back. I used to go to parties and get completely trashed when I was in high school. And I had this ex Abi, who was a total control freak, but very atractive, she was 5'4, mix of mexican and caucasion, very smoothe skin, long black hair, big doe eyes, perky b cup size, and a very tight ass. one thing I hated was that she would tease and lead me on but never actually do anything. After a few months of blue balls, we broke up and went our separated ways... Continue»
Posted by dick_masscock 4 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
307
  |  
92%
  |  1

Fuckn My Flat 2



My hands were shaking at the anticipation, she grabbed the back of my neck and brought me in for another deep kiss, my fingers danced lightly over the mounds of her boobs grazing the hard nipples as my hand got closer to her glistening thighs. I moved my hands over her pussy lips. Wet doesn’t even get close to describing her. This girl was hot and dying for some hard cock to make her scream. Her back arched as I lightly moved her wet lips apart, her panty gusset was soaked through with it as I dragged them off her, her ass raising in the air to help giving me a waft of her pu... Continue»
Posted by salahgabr 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
619
  |  
92%
  |  1

Untitled

Arranging to meet Sarah in the new pub was a waste of time she text as I arrived to say she was delayed somewhat I thought I'm here now no harm in a small glass of White was there I went inside for an afternoon it wasnt empty but not heaving I got my drink and headed for a table by the window I was thirsty and the first glass went down too quick so I headed to the bar for another I just sat back down when he walked in I blushed as his eyes clocked mine looking at him my god he was fit i looked away feeling flushed I couldn't resist another glance as he stood at the bar he was tall fit and a bo... Continue»
Posted by Hollysuckscox 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
465
  |  
92%
  |  2

CAUGHT AND PUNISHED !!!!!!

Right i thought, ill get this last job sorted then race home and have the house to myself for an hour or so before the wife gets in. Both the k**s are away so i thought ill enjoy some sexy time alone. I rushed home and swung the van into the first space i could find. When i jumped out my freshly shaven cock was already starting to pulsate as i thought about my beautiful wives sexy panties in the wash basket just waiting to be explored.

I kicked of my shoes and dropped my trousers releasing my massive hard throbbing cock, and went upstairs. I reached into the wash basket and found 3 pairs o... Continue»
Posted by himNher 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
654
  |  
92%
  |  3