Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 72

In the Beginning

I read a book by Nick Hornby called "High Fidelity". A friend of mine suggested it to me as he thought that I would like the music that was mentioned in the book. The main character of the book tells about the development (if one could call it that....) of his music appreciation as it related to his advances and rejections on the social front. He started when he was a teenager and the book progresses to age 35 or so. It made me think and remember.....

I finally figured out why I am so obsessed with sex. I started too young! Reading the book "High Fidelity" made me think about all those won... Continue»
Posted by bbbooom 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 340  |  
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10 strange facts about kissing

Think you know a thing or two about kissing? You probably do. But the facts below are so off the beaten path, we’ll bet you don’t know them all—and they could come in handy. Not only could they provide some steamy “Did you know…?” chit chat, but they’ll help you see all the benefits a satisfying lip lock can bring into your life. Happy smooching!

1. Two out of every three couples turn their heads to the right when they kiss.

2. A simple peck uses two muscles; a passionate kiss, on the other hand, uses all 34 muscles in your face. Now that’s a rigorous workout!

3. Like fingerprints or ... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 430  |  
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The Italian Job 15

The Italian Job 15
The following morning I had my usual 2 breakfast’s, tea and toast for one and Ellie’s genitalia for the other as she sat on my face leaning forward with her hands on the bed behind my head as she ground her clit into my teeth, she came gushing her juice into my mouth as she trembled, she was learning to ride them so that the sensation lasted for some time so the noise of her moaning and growling was quite prolonged, I fucked her missionary with her legs wrapped around me as she used them to lever herself up into the back arching position when she came, it was a reflex and s... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 2 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 166  |  
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The Italian Job 17

The Italian Job 17
A few days later Ellie came to see me at my apartment, this was truly a royal visit as she had never been before and I got the feeling that she was checking to see if I had got anyone entrenched that she might see as a threat to her private domain, she wandered around, looking at all of my stuff, “Maria came to see me” she commented whilst browsing my books,
I made no comment, I reckoned if she wanted to tell me she would “wanted to know if she could have her job back” she said, now I was curious but determined to hold out so still no comment “how do you feel about that?”... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 271  |  
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I Went Home with Some Guy after the Bar

My friends and I had arranged to go meet up at a bar then go out clubbing. It was a warm summer evening so over my black lacy underwear I wore a tight little white skirt that stopped an inch higher than mid-thigh and a sleeveless strappy white top, which showed through my black lacy bra. I knew the bra pushed up my boobs making them look larger and sure to draw the eye of the any guys! I brushed my shoulder length dark hair until it was straight and glossy, did my makeup and grabbed my white 2 inch heels to give me a bit more height; as I am kind of short.

I met my friends at the bar and we... Continue»
Posted by PureCoffee 2 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1526  |  
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My first sexperience... read to love it

While on a vacation in the far north east part of India, On the day before I was due to leave the resort I was staying in, I had this singular experience, which I am about to relate.

The place I was staying in was in the forrests, by a lonely road, with plenty of vegetation. The cottage like living quarters were far apart, with a big garden with walkways and lawns separating them. I was enjoying the quietness of the place. For most of my vacation I was the lone guest, until a group of three very young college students arrived. Well, the people of the north-east are more chinese-looking
... Continue»
Posted by desi_rulez 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 516  |  
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The Wonderfully Naughty Wizard of Oz (Ch7/P1)

Leandra walked out to the throne room. Looking up at the blacken throne of her father, now her's to rule. "Servant come forth and show yourself." She turned from the throne to a small nome coming out of the shadows. He was of average nome height. Had round thin glasses birched on a long nose. His beard was the color of coal. His long robe dark like fresh spilled bl**d, covering his small frame.

"Yes my Queen, what can I do for you."

"What is your name."

"Looppen, your majesty."

"Well Looppen you are my new right hand. You have heard Kaliko screams. Betray me or disappoint me and yo... Continue»
Posted by teflonsamurai 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 377  |  
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Coffee and Cream

The wind was blowing in through the open window in the bedroom, it was cool and crisp and I heard the birds off in the distance calling to mates to start the day. The breeze slightly brushed my shear black night shirt making my nipples erect with pleasure. I could feel the wanting building up, it was one of those mornings when pleasure overtook my mind....
I reached beside me and felt his warm body, I could feel him lightly breathing as he slept. Quietly I slipped off my panties and curled behind him feeling his tight ass. He stirred a bit and I ran my hand down his warm thighs and around to ... Continue»
Posted by sinnfullll 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 350  |  
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Where I've Been...


Hey guys and gals,

sorry it's been a while since I was last on, you won't believe
what's happened to me!

To cut a long story short, my s****r found out about me on here and saw my story of what she did to me when we was younger, needless to say,
she was very pissed off with me.

She confronted me about it and as I apologised to her she told me to get down on my knees and kiss her feet for forgiveness. Naturally, I did as I was told and when I got down on my knees, she kicked the shoe off her foot and lifted her foot up so her sole was right infront of my face. Now, she had been wo... Continue»
Posted by LittleMissFart 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 1248  |  
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Mistaken Identity

My wife and I were up at the lake visiting her cousin, and were returning by boat from dinner. We all had a buzz on, and let the girls off at the dock, and Steve, my wifes’ cousins husband said he needed cigarettes, and we went back out in the boat to get them. It was dark, we had the running lights on, and when we reached the pass, he turned them off and turned right and said there is a party down the lake, and I want you ot meet this Nympho, and get laid real quick, and we can come back home, and jump in the lake, and she won’t be able to smell the pussy on you. I said “hell yeah”, and off w... Continue»
Posted by vince68 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor  |  Views: 969  |  
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squirting

Omg Iv only had sex with one guy as was with the same guy for four years and he never once made me orgasm.. I thought maybe it was me that i wasnt as sensitive down there as other girls or something..anyway I know now that he just wasnt doing it for me because last night I had a really naughty cam session with a guy from manchester..he was really fit and in great shape especially for his age(59)
He said he had a thing for school girls so i put on an old school uni that fit me when i was 14 but makes a great slutty outfit now. the skirt barely covers my bum as i always wore it short anyhow.
a... Continue»
Posted by 4dlaf 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 747  |  
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The Adventures of Teri Sue

Teri Sue walked down the yellow brick-road wearing her trademark red-riding hood and carrying a basket with cake and wine for her grand-aunt. She was in a rather good mood as the sun shone on her smiling face with its rosy cheeks. The weather was perfect for the delighting trip she had been looking forward to for so long.
Her shoes, also the same color red as her hood, clapped on the yellow bricks in an upbeat rhythm and you could tell how full of energy she was having just started on her trip. She felt like singing and started humming a melody that she made up as she went along. Her a****l c... Continue»
Posted by ButtyBratToughL 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 386  |  
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Sexy wife and I continued

Hello My suzie and I have been together going on thirty years it has been a great ride . I have written about our adventures in the laundry and in the yard on the deck our dining room of our new house and our date to the erotic drive in on our third date,
She was a hottie then and still my hottie we love it when we do have time and the wanting to have sex some awesome hot wet sex!
We use to have swimming pools some only a foot and half deep a k**dy pool we use to lie in it on a warm summer evening after the k**s got out it was funny we were out in the wood we did not have any one close en... Continue»
Posted by fulltimeflirt 2 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 316  |  
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the truck

it was a mild summer night as i held the one i loved in my arms. i held her close against me as i kissed her neck. as i started to nibble on her ear she tugged and pulled at my jeans as if to slowly claw them off me. passion was taking over and she was ready to go. i reclined my trucks seat as she saddled me and bit into my neck. it was somthing that just drove me nuts. her nibbling on my neck slowly moving down my collar bone, while slowly pulling my shirt off as i unsnapped her bra she tugged at my belt, begging for me to fuck her. i layed her down on the seat and undid her belt and pants wi... Continue»
Posted by wja1291 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 305  |  
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The Party

I did not write this, just enjoy.



"Oh come on Phyllis, it'll be fun," Brenda pleaded, "you're always saying how you never get a chance to meet anyone and I can guarantee you that the place will be loaded with a lot of guys!!!" Phyllis looked doubtfully at her room mate and replied, "I don't know, Freddy has some pretty weird friends, do you really think we should!?!" "Of course we should, silly," Brenda replied excitedly, "and what you consider weird, I consider "different"!!!" "Well," Phyllis replied, "if you really think so............." "Good, it's settle then," Brenda said happily, ... Continue»
Posted by snake_500011 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 659  |  
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I won a bet

I told you of a bet my wife and I made a while back and she won that one. Well I got her on another bet that I won. She was a gracious looser and said what do you have in mind? I said well I am feeling kinky tonight and I'll think of something, but while I am you go get showered and shave your pussy and ass hole bald. ( she keeps them shaved anyway ). She was off to the shower. I went in our room and started digging for something for her to wear. Since it was a warm evening I picked out her gray Elizabeth and James Mara tank dress , it comes about seven inches above her knee. no bra and her bl... Continue»
Posted by woreout 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 1186  |  
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My First Time

MY FIRST TIME







It was my first time ever
And I'll never forget
I'd do it again
Without a single regret.
The sky was dark
The moon was high
We were all alone
Just she and I.
Her hair was soft
Her eyes were blue
I knew just what
She wanted to do.
Her skin so soft
Her legs so fine
I ran my fingers
Down her spine.
I didn't know how
But I tried my best
I started by placing
My hands on her breast.
I remember my fear
My fast beating heart
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart.
And when I did it
I felt no shame
All at once
The white stuff ... Continue»
Posted by jabig6 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 686  |  
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A Trip To The Mall Proves Messy

I really hate going shopping around the holidays. My wife has shopping lists the length of her arm and sometimes if I don’t go with her she’ll spend money like there’s no tomorrow. But I can only take so much walking around in those damn malls. I can’t keep my damn eyes focused on where I am supposed to be going and wind up walking into other people because of all the damn eye candy in the damn place. I have never seen so much damn young pussy walking around in one place in my life. The ratio must be 15 females to each guy. And when I say girls I mean the average female must only be 18 or 19 y... Continue»
Posted by bigsoftee 1 year ago  |  Categories: Anal, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 4155  |  
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Betty's life (Chapter 2)

Your full lips are closer and closer to CJ's shithole. You can even smell it. It smelled like CJ just had a p*o.
-"Yes, yes, yes...That's it, gurl, that's it! Make me happy, bitch!"-CJ yelled pushing your head even stronger, so your lips touched his anus and your nose was smelling his sweaty balls now.
*There's no way out.*- You think to yourself. You, Betty Boops, the most beautiful white girl in college, with a hot pair of tits and nice big booty, are going to lick some black d**g dealer's ass, who lives nextdoor in you neighbourhood, just for a simple ride to the mall...Hell yeah!
-"C'mo... Continue»
Posted by twingirl 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 464  |  
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Joke..!!!

Little Johnny's teacher got up in front of the class and announced they were going to play a guessing game! The teacher said, "I have something behind my back. It's red in color and round. It's soft, but it's hard."

Johnny raised his hand and said, "I know, it's a red rubber ball." The teacher said, "No Johnny, it's an apple, but I like the way that you think."

The teacher grabbed another object and put it behind her back. "I have something behind my back. It's orange in color and round. It's soft, but it's hard," said Johnny's teacher.

Johnny raised his hand again and said, "Teacher ... Continue»
Posted by papa61 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 1882  |  
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