Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 71

Planet of the Gigantic Schlongs

Planet of the Gigantic schlongs

By The Iceman

It all began in a place not too long ago but in a faraway
place. There was a planet way out of the galaxy
that no researcher ever discovered and most likely
never will be. The story begins on a planet called
Weenus. Nobody knows how the planet got
its name. Perhaps we’ll never know…..

Although not very much is known about the history of the planet Weenus, there was something very unique about it. There was no war, pollution, crime or poverty that existed in any form. The inhabitants lived peacefully. But what was so unique about t... Continue»
Posted by icemanrisen 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Shemales  |  
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BEST Job Interview

I got to the job interview early; I used the time to go over everything I think they would ask. The secretary called me in and showed me to the head HR lady’s office. She looked to be in mid to late 50s and didn’t even stand up to shake my hand… “Mr. Sam” she said pulling her glasses down slightly over the bridge of her nose “I regret to inform you that the position you applied for has been filled, we… tried contacting you by phone and via email, but none of them seemed to work … cause here you are” “I…”, “I’ll tell you what” she moved the papers that were in the middle of the desk to the left... Continue»
Posted by dlbiblkm 1 year ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Confessions of an Exhibitionist

They met at the railway station as planned. The reporter, with her list of questions, camera and recorder, and the girl with nothing to hide. After ordering a couple of drinks, they took a table in a dark back corner of the bar and started talking, without actually getting into the interview. Once the reporter's gear was all ready, she asked the girl if she still wanted to go through with this. With a big smile, she nodded "yes".Reporter: "This is Lauren O'Riordan with..."

Girl: "Molly..."

Lauren: "...with Molly. It's just gone 6 pm on a lovely Wednesday evening, and... Continue»
Posted by mustbtuesday 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Funny blowjob in a nerd's car

Hello everyone, this is my first story here... This is a real one, i haven't many of them to tell so in the future i could switch to fantasy. I'm also not english so tell me about my writing :-p
By now: here the facts. I was 23 and i broke up with my boyfriend after almost 1 year, i was very sad, angry and, must admit, cock-hungry.
That night a good friend of mine held a birthday party in a nightclub, we danced and had a very good time, drinking much. Aware of me being a good drinker, my friend drove me to the party. There, however, she found a very handsome man to go home with, and asked me... Continue»
Posted by Bailight 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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ROADSIDE ATTRACTION--Part 1

Lita had been driving across the country for hours and she was exhausted. All she wanted was a stiff drink and a good night's sl**p. She drove a couple more miles before coming across a bar on one side of the road, and a motel on the other. "Perfect!" she said out loud. She pulled into the parking lot, turned off the engine and got out of the car, locking it behind her.

As soon as she walked in the bar, Lita noticed two things....great music and nothing but women. She thought, 'A lesbian bar? No way!' She had always wanted to go to a lesbian bar, so she was rather excited. She sat d... Continue»
Posted by squirtlover33 4 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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That’s what friends are for!

Just Being Neighborly

I first had a chance to meet our new neighbor when we were both getting our mail out of our adjoined mailboxes one day around noon. Looking her over she had a bit of a very tired look on her face but from the neck down she was hot. She was wearing sandals, really short shorts and a pullover white shirt cut at the waist and the neckline was torn down rather low. Allowing her to be the first one to get the mail I watched as she stooped over to grab hers. I got a pretty clear look down that the neckline of that torn shirt and saw nothing but cleavage. No bra and no tan l... Continue»
Posted by bigsoftee 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Who is the Cuckold Now


Melanie was a woman with a plan.

She had already achieved the first part of the plan by marrying Rod. You see Rod is incredibly rich! Just how wealthy she did not know but he had houses or condos in California, New York and Florida. He had servants, cars, and a jet. Yes he is wealthy beyond most people’s imaginations.

Melanie was poor and had been working as an erotic dancer when Rod had come in one night. For what Melanie lacked in money was offset by her sexy looks and her ability to sexually please others.

There was only... Continue»
Posted by mooremike 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Yet another American politically oriented breeding


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Yet another American politically oriented breeding story ... just in time for the government shutdown over lack of passing a budget bill. Enjoy.
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This all happened when my husband Derick and I had the opportunity to go on a great camping trip with our neighbors Angela and Steve. Things got interesting when they ended up bringing along their friend, Blake. We were all in our late 20's and Derick and I had been happily married for 5 years.

We got to this awesome out of the way spot in the forest after a long drive and hike in. Blake turned out to be very... Continue»
Posted by billstew 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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My D***k Mom

There was a knock on the front door. I was pretty sure who it was.

So let me set this up for you. If you’ve read my stories, you know that my wife, Janice and I, share our home and bed with my s****r Ginger. We’ve been living between Texas and Florida for the past few years, but Florida, where I grew up, was going to be our home from now on. And to put it plain, Florida is hot. It is hot in the winter, hot in the spring and fall. And it is really hot in the summer. Having grown up in the heat of Florida, clothes in our home are an option. Always have been, always will be. It’s so m... Continue»
Posted by abigfan 1 year ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Little boy with his train set


A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room.
She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of b*tches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of b*tches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."
The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may pla... Continue»
Posted by Joe-and-Fran 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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return to the sex party (Priapus)

After my first time at the sex party I was
well I'm not sure how to describe it, my confidence
was up and I felt empowered.
The parties were monthly, just about right
more frequent and they wouldn't be special
but less and I would start to stray.

For my return visit I did some shopping
I went online and did a bit of research
then purchased something special which
arrived on the morning of the party.
I have a summer dress that was ideal
lloose and flowing, slightly hippie and
a bit girlie, I felt like the flake girl in
it. I wore it with a belt low slung around my h... Continue»
Posted by celcus 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Halloween Gangbang

Maria looked in the mirror on Saturday, October 30. This was the night every girl in her residence was probably doing the same thing. Looking in the mirror at their scantily clad reflection and wondering about the nights activities.

Maria was heading downtown to a local strip of bars that always had the best costume parties and the best dance music in the city. Her girlfriends were all getting ready around her but she couldn’t hear them… the only thing on her mind were the last minute regrets at how sexy the reflection in the mirror looked staring back at her.
Her smooth Italian skin loo... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 5 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Mrs. McElroy

It was the last day of school, we just finished taking the final exam and I was the last one to hand in my paper, I had already finished but wanted to hand it out last. All the students were gone and I was the only one left with at least 45 minutes to go before it was officially over. The teacher, Mrs. McElroy, was sitting at her desk reading a novel; I was sitting in the second row in the middle of the room. I watched her for a few more seconds and got up, walked up to her and handed her my paper. “How do you think you did James?” she asked pulling down her glasses right over her nose, stared... Continue»
Posted by dlbiblkm 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo, Voyeur  |  
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My 4 inch dick story...

This post is about how, to some of you, size DOES matter…a lot! As you can see, I am at the other end of the spectrum at 4.5 inches. Does this bother me? Yes and no. Let me start at the beginning and I think you’ll see what I mean…

My first girlfriend was very devoted to me as a person but unfortunately she couldn’t really feel much when we made love. Over time since she knew what a high sex drive I had she would take dick and start jerking me off. After a couple of minutes she always said her arm was getting tired which meant that she wanted me to finish myself off. This became the norm af... Continue»
Posted by fourinches 4 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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b*****r & Mother In Law

b*****r & Mother In Law
Summer was right around the corner. I arrive to my girlfriends house to hang out with her f****y.
The only thing different this time is that she will not be there. She is on work duties which
requires her to travel. The same time I get there her b*****r and mother get back from
swimming at their pool located in the middle of their apartment complex. We all step inside and
it wasn’t the hottest point of the year yet but good enough. I noticed their moms nipples showing
just a bit. They weren’t fully erect but you can surely see enough. She was a two­piece
swimming... Continue»
Posted by mrlolgg 1 month ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Eve (A true story...OK, maybe not)

Going back in time to give the first woman her first orgasm...hey, somebody had to do it...

Eve (A true story...OK, maybe not)

Hello people. Hope you are doing well out there in Fantasy Land. What, you say you are not in Fantasy Land? Oh you will be soon. Don't worry, because we are going deep into Fantasy Land. So deep, we may never return. And believe me, you will go to Fantasy Land with me. Even if I have to pick you up and sling you over my shoulder. So come with me, to Fantasy Land.

It all started innocently enough one fine day back in the eighties. If you recall f... Continue»
Posted by Exakta66 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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The Club

The Club

I had joined Level 4 the previous week, thanks to
sponsorship from my friend, Ted, who had been a member
for several months. My membership card arrived in
Wednesday's mail, and I was eager to try it out. I
called Ted, and we arranged to meet in the bar at 9 p.m.
on Friday night.
After a few moment's conversation, we went up the
stairs to the topless club and headed for the restrooms.
Nobody paid any attention to us, not with dancers on
stage. Ted knocked on the door marked "Manager" and we
were admitted. Our membership was checked again by one
bouncer and the... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 5 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Playing With Mommy

My name is Ashley and I live with my mom Kayla in a smallish apartment in a small town. When my dad left my mom I think it was harder for her then me I think because I just found things to focus on and even when he was around he really didn't pay much attention to me anyways. Mom tried dating again but after awhile I guess that she had realized she lost her trust in all men and would tell me how she was going to spend her time with me now helping me when I needed it and that we could have fun together going on vacations and stuff. I definitely have my moms looks which I feel blessed to have be... Continue»
Posted by vanilla_gorilla699 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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wife in whore party

About a week ago, my wife Tammy and I were invited to a beach resort along with a bunch of her coworkers. She works in the marketing department at a large company which did very well in the past few years, and the employees were starting to get a lot of perks, one of which was the resort trip.

I was eager to go, although I was worried about meeting Tammy's coworkers. Her company had a very informal culture, and Tammy would sometimes tell me about all the flirting and pinching that went on during the workday. I worked at a law firm, which was very uptight and professional, and flirting was c... Continue»
Posted by nudes 9 months ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Night club quickie with my best friend

To start off with, I better paint you all with a good mental image of this girl. Her name is Sarah, and she is a total babe. She was a short girl with long wavy brown hair, beautiful hazel eyes, and the pinkest little pink lips. Her body was incredible, such perfect silky smooth pale skin. She had such petite little breasts, a slim waist, and a booty of a Latino woman.

So it all started with Sarah breaking up with her boyfriend. I decided to take her out clubbing to take her mind off things. We have always been close, but always totally platonic. So I never could have imagined that night e... Continue»
Posted by AussieBob93 8 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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