Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 71

Milking the Love

Richard

In the morning the sun was shining right through our front room windows as I walked in wearing nothing but my gown. The carpet is very soft and the whole room was warm. Jenny was in her gown as she reached for a sheet, a large bed sheet that she folded neatly and placed on the floor as she did so she undone my gown and I got down on my hands and knees on the blanket.



Jenny

As I undone Richards gown his penis jumped out to meet me. I completely removed the gown and as Richard got in position I gently moved his legs apart to allow the air to circulate nicely ... Continue»
Posted by Torqy 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Hanging Around

On occasion you read about something kinky and it sounds so good you just want to try it. The first time Tonya and I did this, things didn’t quite go as they should have. Mike had left one of his pornographic magazines lying on our living room radiator and Tonya found it. We began reading through the letters in it and found one with an interesting premise. It offered both a measure of fear and arousal. We decided to try it.
The premise was for me to be nearly hanging by my balls, with my head and the tips of my toes the only support to prevent the actual suspension, while my wife performed or... Continue»
Posted by voivodevlad 4 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor  |  
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the funniest conversation during sex ever

ok backround i was in a car with this guy in high school. his name was ryan. we were 17 he was like 5'4" or somthing (he was short) cute like irish/itailian boy.
red hair freckles goofy smile thick cock. any way he just came after like 2 minutes and we were talking. he was still in me lying on top of me.

him: "fuck.... im so sorry but you cant blame me the blowjob eirlier got me really... ready."

me: "yeah i guess but really like two minutes." i said sadly

him: "im sorry can we do this again sometime though"

me: "well you still have the condom on, and ur still hard and in me. can'... Continue»
Posted by Michele1234 4 years ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Castle: What happens next

Castle looked at his cellphone Beckett was calling. He held the machine in his hand and swiftly pressed "Ignore". As he placed it back on his glass and chrome coffee table his plasma screen murder board caught his eye. He tapped on the portrait of Detective Kate Beckett and unfolded a digital file that spiderwebbed out all the known consorts in her mothers murder. He stared at the mess of names and dates and grudgingly dragged a file icon Marked Beckett to the Digital trash can.

"Deleting file." was all the screen said.

There was a knock at the door, he slowly walked over and opened it... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 4 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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I won a bet

I told you of a bet my wife and I made a while back and she won that one. Well I got her on another bet that I won. She was a gracious looser and said what do you have in mind? I said well I am feeling kinky tonight and I'll think of something, but while I am you go get showered and shave your pussy and ass hole bald. ( she keeps them shaved anyway ). She was off to the shower. I went in our room and started digging for something for her to wear. Since it was a warm evening I picked out her gray Elizabeth and James Mara tank dress , it comes about seven inches above her knee. no bra and her bl... Continue»
Posted by woreout 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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To Be Kneaded Like This Was GREAT!!

I am a 61 year old man living in Florida who has always been healthy and rarely ever sees a doctor. However, about 6 months ago I had an auto accident that caused an injury to my neck. After my surgery, part of my recovery included physical therapy and massage therapy. I found a good physical ther****t and worked out diligently 3 times per week. After a week of working out and feeling a bit tight I remembered the massage script and checked the phone book and one ad caught my eye. There was a ther****t not even 5 miles from my home so I called and made my first massage appointment. However, the... Continue»
Posted by Margar 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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the dead girl

I had been dead three years when I pretended not to notice the man drop a pill into my white wine, but that didn't stop him from trying. It hadn't stopped the other six hundred and sixty five men who were intent on courting me in this bizarre and ungentlemanly manner and it wouldn't stop the next man or the next. My afterlife was an endless cycle of man after man. The same dirty tricks, the same wretched result. It was fascinating how repetitive it all was. There was almost nothing to keep me going anymore. Almost....

Three years ago I had gone to a college party at one of the local frat ho... Continue»
Posted by emobabygirl 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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My first time tasting female juices!

First let me introduce myself...I am Jay from the beautiful city Bangalore. I am 29 yrs old male with an athletic body and nice and juicy Dick of 8 inches. I am very fond of sex and anything related to sex. You can say I am a sex maniac. I always see sexy ladies in their beautiful dresses and think of having sex with them. I started watching blue films when I was in 8th class and from then I got into the wonderful world of sex. I use to read porn literature and watch adult movies whenever I got the chance. Today I would like to share my experience with a couple which happened in Bangalore. Fro... Continue»
Posted by urpussysucker 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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"Mostly" Ghostly

Have you ever had a really bad day?

I mean a real shitfest!

Where things go from bad to worse in the blink of an eye?

First, I got fired.

Then I got dumped

And last but certainly not least, I died!

So to recap, Fired, Dumped, Dead...bummer!

You might be asking yourself..."Jack, how does a moderately healthy guy just this side of Thirty die" Well "self" maybe next time you'll unplug the toster before you try to pry out a Pillsbury Toaster Strudle with a butterknife...while high.

So yeah I got zapped with 50,000 volts and died alone in my underwear and a Spice World T-... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo, Voyeur  |  
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Sperm Donor

I sat there and listened to my wife and her s****r talk. They had come up with some hair brain idea of starting a sperm donor club. Women would join this club and they would have a list of sperm donor that would donate sperm free of charge. "So this is a swingers club?" I asked them. "No, we would set up a time for the man to be ready when the woman is ovulating, her husband would get her ready and the donor's wife would get him ready and then he would ejaculate into a tube and then it would be given the woman's husband to squirt it up inside her as she orgasims. They would never meet and th... Continue»
Posted by zimabean 1 year ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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How I made to orgasms to my horny teacher

It happened a long time ago when I was studying in university. I was a freshman there in the university. I had my first ever row of exams I was really freaked out to take. I had only a few days to prepare for my exams and I hadn’t had anything in my empty head. I didn’t study any of the English and I had to do that exam in order to pass to the next semester.
Professor told me to come and see her on January, 3rd. I had no time to prepare for the exam because there was too much partying and I was still a bit hangover. I had no desire to prepare myself but I still had to go and at least show up.... Continue»
Posted by urpussysucker 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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My 4 inch dick story...

This post is about how, to some of you, size DOES matter…a lot! As you can see, I am at the other end of the spectrum at 4.5 inches. Does this bother me? Yes and no. Let me start at the beginning and I think you’ll see what I mean…

My first girlfriend was very devoted to me as a person but unfortunately she couldn’t really feel much when we made love. Over time since she knew what a high sex drive I had she would take dick and start jerking me off. After a couple of minutes she always said her arm was getting tired which meant that she wanted me to finish myself off. This became the norm af... Continue»
Posted by fourinches 4 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Mrs. McElroy

It was the last day of school, we just finished taking the final exam and I was the last one to hand in my paper, I had already finished but wanted to hand it out last. All the students were gone and I was the only one left with at least 45 minutes to go before it was officially over. The teacher, Mrs. McElroy, was sitting at her desk reading a novel; I was sitting in the second row in the middle of the room. I watched her for a few more seconds and got up, walked up to her and handed her my paper. “How do you think you did James?” she asked pulling down her glasses right over her nose, stared... Continue»
Posted by dlbiblkm 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo, Voyeur  |  
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Who is the Cuckold Now


Melanie was a woman with a plan.

She had already achieved the first part of the plan by marrying Rod. You see Rod is incredibly rich! Just how wealthy she did not know but he had houses or condos in California, New York and Florida. He had servants, cars, and a jet. Yes he is wealthy beyond most people’s imaginations.

Melanie was poor and had been working as an erotic dancer when Rod had come in one night. For what Melanie lacked in money was offset by her sexy looks and her ability to sexually please others.

There was only... Continue»
Posted by mooremike 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Red Lace Panties


Standing only in my red lace panties, brushing my teeth, I wipe the fog from the bathroom mirror.

Looking into the mirror, I see you step from the shower, give me a smile and a wink, then turn away from me to reach for a towel.

I can’t help but notice your sexy physique and your sweet tight buns. I swiftly turn and give your ass cheek a hard slap. Your hips thrust forward as your shoulders push back. You whirl around, with a scowl on your face.

Still brushing my teeth, I innocently tilt my head from side to side and shrug my shoulder a little as if to say “what?” Without sa... Continue»
Posted by vividtease 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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My son’s girlfriend

Well let’s just say I’m the mountainman66 I got that nickname so long ago I don’t even remember why. I’m a big old boy somewhat built like a tank, a water tank.



And like any good story worth telling, you have to have a protagonist and an antagonist.



But with this story you get to decide who is who.



It all started with my divorce, it left me somewhat high and dry, and not really caring about the opposite sex. Now who ever come up with that line had it right on the money. Opposite sex, what a laugh. More like obstinate sex.



BUT I’M NOT BITTER!



Okay now back to... Continue»
Posted by MountainMan66 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Billy 18 - Aunt Diane 49

by MisterReason


When Billy Jefferson's parents had to rush out of town to be at the side of his grandmother after she suffered a stroke, his mother's s****r Diane was called upon to keep an eye on Billy and the house until his parents could return.

It worked out well, because Billy was very fond of his Aunt Diane. Since her husband had divorced her several years ago, she had led a lonely life out in the sticks, so being called upon to help was a welcome break from the boring routine of her single life.

...

Chapter One: Bad timing

Diane Shaver couldn't believe her luck, an... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Planet of the Gigantic Schlongs

Planet of the Gigantic schlongs

By The Iceman

It all began in a place not too long ago but in a faraway
place. There was a planet way out of the galaxy
that no researcher ever discovered and most likely
never will be. The story begins on a planet called
Weenus. Nobody knows how the planet got
its name. Perhaps we’ll never know…..

Although not very much is known about the history of the planet Weenus, there was something very unique about it. There was no war, pollution, crime or poverty that existed in any form. The inhabitants lived peacefully. But what was so unique about t... Continue»
Posted by icemanrisen 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Shemales  |  
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Confessions of an Exhibitionist

They met at the railway station as planned. The reporter, with her list of questions, camera and recorder, and the girl with nothing to hide. After ordering a couple of drinks, they took a table in a dark back corner of the bar and started talking, without actually getting into the interview. Once the reporter's gear was all ready, she asked the girl if she still wanted to go through with this. With a big smile, she nodded "yes".Reporter: "This is Lauren O'Riordan with..."

Girl: "Molly..."

Lauren: "...with Molly. It's just gone 6 pm on a lovely Wednesday evening, and... Continue»
Posted by mustbtuesday 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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My D***k Mom

There was a knock on the front door. I was pretty sure who it was.

So let me set this up for you. If you’ve read my stories, you know that my wife, Janice and I, share our home and bed with my s****r Ginger. We’ve been living between Texas and Florida for the past few years, but Florida, where I grew up, was going to be our home from now on. And to put it plain, Florida is hot. It is hot in the winter, hot in the spring and fall. And it is really hot in the summer. Having grown up in the heat of Florida, clothes in our home are an option. Always have been, always will be. It’s so m... Continue»
Posted by abigfan 1 year ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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