Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 71
A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room.
She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of b*tches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of b*tches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."
The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may pla... Continue»
The other day I was really sore from working out and thought it would be a great to treat myself to a massage. Being something of a massage freak I am always looking and hoping for that elusive Happy Ending as an extra. I looked on the internet under Massage Ther****ts and found a local gal who was happy to make an appointment for me the same day. She had a sexy sounding voice and I figured maybe I would luck out and finally get that Happy Ending I was looking for. But when she said her location was in a beauty parlor I figured forget the Happy Ending. This would be a completely normal and non... Continue»
After my first time at the sex party I was
well I'm not sure how to describe it, my confidence
was up and I felt empowered.
The parties were monthly, just about right
more frequent and they wouldn't be special
but less and I would start to stray.
For my return visit I did some shopping
I went online and did a bit of research
then purchased something special which
arrived on the morning of the party.
I have a summer dress that was ideal
lloose and flowing, slightly hippie and
a bit girlie, I felt like the flake girl in
it. I wore it with a belt low slung around my h... Continue»
Maria looked in the mirror on Saturday, October 30. This was the night every girl in her residence was probably doing the same thing. Looking in the mirror at their scantily clad reflection and wondering about the nights activities.
Maria was heading downtown to a local strip of bars that always had the best costume parties and the best dance music in the city. Her girlfriends were all getting ready around her but she couldn’t hear them… the only thing on her mind were the last minute regrets at how sexy the reflection in the mirror looked staring back at her.
Her smooth Italian skin loo... Continue»
This is Max
No one in school knows about his monster cock and him being so skinny he wasn't so popular in school. At eighteen he is still a virgin and really wants to have sex. He is worried about girls not being able to take him and not want to have sex with him.
Max has a little sibling called Alyssa, at fifteen she has slept with a few people, she always has a huge line of guys wanting her. This is what she looks like.
It was the last day of school, we just finished taking the final exam and I was the last one to hand in my paper, I had already finished but wanted to hand it out last. All the students were gone and I was the only one left with at least 45 minutes to go before it was officially over. The teacher, Mrs. McElroy, was sitting at her desk reading a novel; I was sitting in the second row in the middle of the room. I watched her for a few more seconds and got up, walked up to her and handed her my paper. “How do you think you did James?” she asked pulling down her glasses right over her nose, stared... Continue»
Going back in time to give the first woman her first orgasm...hey, somebody had to do it...
Eve (A true story...OK, maybe not)
Hello people. Hope you are doing well out there in Fantasy Land. What, you say you are not in Fantasy Land? Oh you will be soon. Don't worry, because we are going deep into Fantasy Land. So deep, we may never return. And believe me, you will go to Fantasy Land with me. Even if I have to pick you up and sling you over my shoulder. So come with me, to Fantasy Land.
It all started innocently enough one fine day back in the eighties. If you recall f... Continue»
I had joined Level 4 the previous week, thanks to
sponsorship from my friend, Ted, who had been a member
for several months. My membership card arrived in
Wednesday's mail, and I was eager to try it out. I
called Ted, and we arranged to meet in the bar at 9 p.m.
on Friday night.
After a few moment's conversation, we went up the
stairs to the topless club and headed for the restrooms.
Nobody paid any attention to us, not with dancers on
stage. Ted knocked on the door marked "Manager" and we
were admitted. Our membership was checked again by one
bouncer and the... Continue»
Hot Summer Camp Part 3
After hot day at summer camp I headed to the showers to clean up. While soaping up I looked around and with no one around I started to stroke my cock. As I started to get hard I grabbed my balls. I felt something on the underside and stopped jacking off then lifted my balls and notice a black insect on my balls. I pinched and pulled but the black spec but it would not come off. I did not know what to do I had a tick stuck to my balls. I decided I needed to get dressed and go to the nurses office.
As I walked over to the nurses cabin I was very nervous and did not k... Continue»
Well let’s just say I’m the mountainman66 I got that nickname so long ago I don’t even remember why. I’m a big old boy somewhat built like a tank, a water tank.
And like any good story worth telling, you have to have a protagonist and an antagonist.
But with this story you get to decide who is who.
It all started with my divorce, it left me somewhat high and dry, and not really caring about the opposite sex. Now who ever come up with that line had it right on the money. Opposite sex, what a laugh. More like obstinate sex.
BUT I’M NOT BITTER!
Okay now back to... Continue»
My name is Ashley and I live with my mom Kayla in a smallish apartment in a small town. When my dad left my mom I think it was harder for her then me I think because I just found things to focus on and even when he was around he really didn't pay much attention to me anyways. Mom tried dating again but after awhile I guess that she had realized she lost her trust in all men and would tell me how she was going to spend her time with me now helping me when I needed it and that we could have fun together going on vacations and stuff. I definitely have my moms looks which I feel blessed to have be... Continue»
When I was done with my Air f***e boot camp, right out of high school, I was sent to a tech school in Texas. I was in my motel room one night, laying naked on the bed, and heard a couple come in. Just remember that I was down there for 18 weeks with out having any sex. So any ways I heard a couple come in and I was half asl**p and I heard the woman in the room next to me moaning and I got so hard I listened to them and then she said to her hubby you are so d***k. Then I heard the door open and then I got up to see if it was her or him and it was her so I put on my shorts and went out in th... Continue»
There was a knock on the front door. I was pretty sure who it was.
So let me set this up for you. If you’ve read my stories, you know that my wife, Janice and I, share our home and bed with my s****r Ginger. We’ve been living between Texas and Florida for the past few years, but Florida, where I grew up, was going to be our home from now on. And to put it plain, Florida is hot. It is hot in the winter, hot in the spring and fall. And it is really hot in the summer. Having grown up in the heat of Florida, clothes in our home are an option. Always have been, always will be. It’s so m... Continue»
They met at the railway station as planned. The reporter, with her list of questions, camera and recorder, and the girl with nothing to hide. After ordering a couple of drinks, they took a table in a dark back corner of the bar and started talking, without actually getting into the interview. Once the reporter's gear was all ready, she asked the girl if she still wanted to go through with this. With a big smile, she nodded "yes".Reporter
: "This is Lauren O'Riordan with..."
: "...with Molly. It's just gone 6 pm on a lovely Wednesday evening, and... Continue»
This is my take on the classic Janet and John stories, with apologies to Mabel O'Donnell.
Janet and John have the same birthday.
Janet and John are twins.
They live in a big house in the country with their Mummy and Daddy.
After school they love to take off all their clothes and run around the big garden.
John runs fast.
Janet loves to watch John’s little willie bounce around as he runs.
Janet runs faster than John.
John can only see her back and bottom as she runs away.
Janet doesn’t have a willie, she has a little slit.
Sometimes Janet hides behind a tree and lets John find her... Continue»
Men often complain that their wives aren't interested in sex, but my
husband doesn't complain at all---I'm the one with the complaint!
From early morning to late at night, my husband works as a heavy
equipment salesman. He makes tons of money, but he never makes love to me
except for a half-hearted effort on some weekends. What's even worse, when he
gets home at night he usually falls asl**p on the couch. We never see a movie,
go out to dinner, or even just go to the mall to get out of the house. Yes, if
it wasn't for the fact that he gives me and the k**s all the ... Continue»
This is my first story on here...
Please comment and tell me about similar events. (if you want more info i will be happy to inbox and share)
So i been on a social site on my cell for about 4 years now called moco. I have had all types of women of there from big to small, ugly to fine, short to tall. That damn moco have got me more ass than any other site.
So im in the "near me" chat room to holla at the local chicks around a month ago and this girl has "my lips your dick" on a pic of her's and licking her lips. So i shot at her "you must really like sucking dick..." she like " hell yea... Continue»
Man gets to lead the life of a rich man...if only for a day...
Back in the day, the early 1980's to be precise, I was badly in need. In need of a job, to be more specific. These were times of prosperity for most. The Dow had recently hit 2000, which was a record. The economy was booming and would continue to do so throughout most of the decade. Everyone and everything seemed to be doing great, except for me. Being the remarkably perceptive dude he was, my friend Rich sensed my need for employment. He had recently started a small company installing and mai... Continue»
Hello everyone, this is my first story here... This is a real one, i haven't many of them to tell so in the future i could switch to fantasy. I'm also not english so tell me about my writing :-p
By now: here the facts. I was 23 and i broke up with my boyfriend after almost 1 year, i was very sad, angry and, must admit, cock-hungry.
That night a good friend of mine held a birthday party in a nightclub, we danced and had a very good time, drinking much. Aware of me being a good drinker, my friend drove me to the party. There, however, she found a very handsome man to go home with, and asked me... Continue»
Melanie was a woman with a plan.
She had already achieved the first part of the plan by marrying Rod. You see Rod is incredibly rich! Just how wealthy she did not know but he had houses or condos in California, New York and Florida. He had servants, cars, and a jet. Yes he is wealthy beyond most people’s imaginations.
Melanie was poor and had been working as an erotic dancer when Rod had come in one night. For what Melanie lacked in money was offset by her sexy looks and her ability to sexually please others.
There was only... Continue»