Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 70
I love Venice Beach,CA. When ever I have a couple of bucks to blow I will take turns vacationing either there
or Vegas (they're both pretty close to Phoenix). Shan6969, my ex and now periodical fuckbuddy, digs Venice
as well. I can't count how many times we visited there when we were an "item". Shan6969 lives back east and
always comes in town unexpected ready to fuck. This time was no different. Her call woke me up Friday at 1:22 a.m.
SHAN6969: "Wake up you big black dicked mother fucker!.....Mama's in town"
BOIDYNHO: "Oh dear gawd...what th"
When a relationship fails, it leaves one wondering what went wrong in an absolutely perfect relationship. Some relationships aren’t able to stand the test of time due to the various differences between the couple.
These differences do not crop up within a single day and it takes various steps to lead a relationship to its breakdown. From a woman’s perspective, here are 5 tips which can help you guys make your relationship a better experience for your girl and yourself as well. As the saying goes, “Sometimes love just ain’t enough,” hence, we bring you certain tips that might help you fill t... Continue»
According to the research, adults who make love first thing in the morning apparently not only feel more upbeat for the rest of the day, but also benefit from a stronger immune system.
The study suggests that adults who begin their day this way are healthier and happier than those who simply opt for a cup of tea and some toast before heading out of the door.
Not only does it make them less likely to catch a cold or flu, it can also improve the quality of their hair, skin, and nails.
"Having sex in the morning releases the feel-good chemical oxytocin, which makes couples feel loving... Continue»
We've seen that bedroom fantasies and dirty talk in bed can be a huge turn on, and can also improve your sex life by miles in the introduction article.
But after seeing how dirty talking in bed can actually lead to mistrust if not kept in check, you may want to know if bedroom fantasies are a boon or a bane to couples in love.
Can bedroom fantasies and sexual fantasies go bad?
Firstly, even before we talk about when it can go bad, we have to realise that anything in moderation is great and can be a huge turn on.
But too much of any good thing usually leads to bad results.
So bed... Continue»
A quick story about my friend’s wedding party in Vegas.
So about 7 years ago, my friend got married in Vegas.
It was a simple wedding, they said their vows, all our high school friends were there and had a nice reception at the Mirage.
They got divorced 5 years later like most marriages do in the US but this is not the story.
The next weekend after the party, my friend Charles who also went to the wedding party told us a funny story.
Charles, ever since a k**, was never the outgoing type.
He is “Mr nice guy” who would never say NO, always helped out when help was needed, a very h... Continue»
She is the one who has made me do this! I was saying to myself when I found myself sl**ping beside her. It was an intoxicating night none of us knew that it will lead to this but it was fun, hell of a night to experience. I never thought that I will ever get into bed with her so easily. She is one the most beautiful woman I have ever seen; she has the perfect figure with flash in right proportion in right places.
I was mesmerized by her beauty the moment I saw her and she understood the effect she had on me (which she used to her full advantage that night). It was my cousin’s bachelor part... Continue»
Just needed a place to vent and spout my self pity and since no one here knows my name or anything, this gives me a chance to say what I want without it biting me in the ass. Been having a lousy time at work recently, been accused of making my work a hostile work environment. I'm suppose to be the manager of a small engine shop, but the owner is there most of the time, so I have a bunch of footprints on top of my head from the employees stepping all over me to complain to him about how big a piece of shit I am, how lazy I am, what a huge liar I am, and how much they hate me. I've been told by ... Continue»
The stories I´m posting here are absolutely true
2010, December 10
About 11:05 am
A hot bath almost always helps against a small cold. After a few cold hours at the weekly market the hot water could warm up and relax your body. And so did Claude who was lying in his large tub but there was no sign of ease in closed eyes. He put his arms to the sides and his half opened mouth occasionally moaned.
Suddenly I surfaced fitfully from the water and had to breathe heavy. The idea to give him an underwater blowjob was hot and realization actually was okay, but I always got out of breath. H... Continue»
So here I am again telling you another True Story of myself. I was talking to a friend of mine and of course the subject turned to sex. We started to share horror/funny stories and I thought, why not write another story for xhamster! So here is a quick little embarassing story from my past...
So I met the hot chocolate number form Trinidad. Her body was perfect. I mean porn star perfect. She had a boob job that you only knew about cuz she told you. She had the stereo typical black girl ass where it is full, thick, and round. Her face reminded me of an early Stacey Dash ( black girl ... Continue»
The collar snug against my neck...a leash attached to the porch rail on both sides limits my movement....the warm breeze gently blows across my naked body...kneeling on the porch step my hands laced in front of me pushing my full round breast together...my strong desire for your thick throbbing cock as you stand on the porch with your jeans undone...teasing my lips making my mouth open wide for it… making my neck press against my collar as I stretch out for it...my mouth waters watching your fingers squeeze your shaft firmly as you stroke it forward & back...knowing you have full control of wh... Continue»
After last night I doubt I would ever speak to him again, everytime I thought about it my heart raced and my bl**d boiled! Sitting in my friends lounge room I was explaining the nights happenings and how Joe had accused me of fucking his cousin after he'd left the club which was a complete lie and was only almost a blow job in the back of a black cab one night when I dropped some change and bent over to pick it up, to which said cousin pulled my pony and pushed my face into his crotch, I could feel his hard member against my face and his grip on my hair was so tight my pussy immediately pulsed... Continue»
so i am lying there the sun breaks thru the curtains.i need a drink well we all do
i definately need rehydration.i have just remembered licking out this beautiful
cunt before during and after.
my head hurts and i dont need jesus.its strange my cock is still so up and my
recollections of the night before are still hazey.i move up and see her face.
fuck me its my auntie.wow and fuck me wow again.my rigid cock is still twitching.
ive fucked her all night long.i look at her seemingly contented face .so i guess
ive done something right??
her face and glow looks like ive... Continue»
A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!"
Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times. One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her. Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning:
"Ohh, I need a bike! Ahh, I need a bike!"
Dorothy sat on her knees looking around at Oz. The lush green grass, the bright blue sky and the glimmer of the gold road was all that she had remembered. Memories of her journey through Oz with the Scarecrow, Tinman and Cowardly Lion came flashing back. The memory of the city of Oz, the wicked witch and her castle and the munchkins filled her heart with joy that she hadn't felt in such a long time.
As she stood up Dorothy realized she was in a part of Oz she had never seen before. She walked up to the yellow brick road and stood in the middle of it looking up one way and then down the othe... Continue»
mrs fielding nearly fainted when she pulled down my jeans.she didnt believe me when i told her that i was huge.her face was a picture.all the emotions in a couple of seconds.suprise,delight,panic,bewilderment,amusement,lust.at one point i really thought she would faint.when she recovered her composure she began to stroke the length and girth with both hands.
now lets get one thing clear from the start---having a huge cock isnt all its cracked up to be.firstly women think its great to have a massive cock inside them but most cant fit it in.well mine hasnt been fully in one yet.its also diffi... Continue»
The noise didn't fit! Arriving home I entered our house and stopped to listen. The sound of the woman was familiar yet wrong. What I mean is, the orgasm sounds was that of my wife,but it was accompanied by sobs yet not distressing sobs. - "You fucking shit,your cums right up inside me you idiot!"
Now that was my wife in orgasm,but the sob bit was out of place! - Do I charge in and destroy the cock that was in her? - Who is in her? I am inclined to always ascertain what's going on before - metaphorically speaking - killing the person found to be at fault. At the same tim... Continue»
It all started on my friends birthday.
James had been a good friend of mine for a few years and I had known his girlfriend, Felicia, for only a few weeks.
She was 19, about my height and had long brown hair with blue eyes, I thought she was attractive but never imagined anything could happen with her, she was my friends girlfriend.
The three of us met up at a pub for a few drinks and a meal, and eventually a few drinks led to hitting the town for a night of clubbing.
It was about 3am when Felicia said she was tired, so we all left and she and James caught a taxi together.
The next m... Continue»
she took me by the hand and lead me upstairs, her hips swinging so sensually. every flirty step she takes swings her miniskirt bouncing and swaying back and forth just enough for me to peak under and see the curvy bottom of her ass just where it meets the top of her thigh. it was mesmerizing. watching her ass bounce just inches from my face, that lacy thong rubbing between her legs as she steps up left then right then left then right again. her skin felt so soft as i ran my fingers up and down her legs while we were dancing earlier. i wanted to feel her again. i reached up with my free ha... Continue»
Bappy's parents went out for a few hours and we were feeling naughty.
I got up and kissed bappy really passionately and he pushed me against the wall holding my arms above my head.
I struggled free and opened the door with my elbow not taking my lips off bappy. on our way through I grabbed a towel from the bannister and threw it on the bed. He picked me up and pushed me onto the bed kissing his way down my body.
Ramming his tongue in my pussy we both groaned as he tasted me and teased my little pussy. as I leaned up he pulled off my top and trousers properly and left me in ... Continue»
My duty is to look after her husband while she is out most of time shopping or with her friends. I often give sedatives to Mr Sharma so that he can have a peaceful sl**p. I once saw a collection of porn movies in their closet and began to watch them when the wife was away and husband was sl**ping. I would put the volume low and watch porn and then put the movie back. I would sit on the sofa and rub my pussy and cum by fingering myself. Porn collection was very hot. I would dress more casually in skirts and loose tops as I became more comfortable with the couple and they loved me. I am avera... Continue»