Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 70
Apart from this, the perfect girlfriend is a career-minded woman who earns more than their partner but at the same time wants to stay at home and bring up the c***dren.
The clue to these seemingly contradictory demands lies in the men polled, 3,000 bachelors.
Near the top of their girlfriend checklist is the requirement that she should have a "pert bottom" – which may explain why they are still single.
And while three-quarters of the men polled said their ideal woman would keep her weight in check, 89 per cent also wanted her to tuck into a big meal without worrying. These perfect ... Continue»
Part 1 1
AT THE ORGASM RESEARCH FOUNDATION Dr. Roger Prong, who was known by some foundation employees as "a bl**dy Peeping Tom" and a "horny old voyeur" was in fact very scientific, or so he always insisted as he watched the girls having orgasms.
At the laboratory, Josie Welch, already nude but with a single sheet demurely spread over her full and obviously glorious body, looked unhappy as Roger entered.
"They tell me there won't be any men today,"
she said as soon as she saw the doctor.
"That's right, my dear," he said with professional unction. "That part of your testing i... Continue»
The Italian Job 9
Now to return to Italy, you remember that Maria had told me all about the situation when her father and uncle ****d her and I hope by now you have all forgiven me.
I got a phone call one morning at the factory, a strange sounding woman’s voice that asked me to meet her at the factory the following night, I asked what it was about and the voice just said it was a query on my contract, I then asked why it could not be dealt with during the day and she said she was out of town and would not be back till the evening and hoped it would not be a problem, I talked to Maria about i... Continue»
"Hey Cranbrook Secondary. Here are your daily announcements. Cheerleading squad needs to be at the Lions football game at four thirty for practices before the B.C. Lions play Chicago. If you want my advice guys, bring a camera-" laughing in the background- "and now for the choir. Hey Choir students, wondering if there are any extra try outs? Fortunately, yes! Try outs start after school at three o' five so be there sharp! Lastly,grade twelve drama singing tryouts-" I straightened my back to listen carefully- "will be held in the north ... Continue»
(Wife gets an unexpected double fucking)
My wife Shere and I had just recently moved from the city to a rural area, out in the country you might say. We had grown tired of the noise, smog, and fast pace that come with living in "the center of things." Our new home was quite a long way from any neighbors, set back against reforested mountains with a grassy plain in front. The days were hot, the evenings cool, and the sunsets gorgeous.
Shere was 37 years old and more attractive than any girl half her age. At 5 ft 5 inches she has beautiful legs that gracefully accentuate her ability to fil... Continue»
It was late afternoon as Beth stepped from her office into the cool evening air. Autumn was closing in, evidenced by the goose bumps rising on her bare arms and the involuntary shiver riding up her back.
"Night Beth," her colleague, Barry called, also on his way out. "Brrrrr, you'll need to wrap up warm tonight!"
That's what he thought. Jonny, Beth's newly found beau, had preoccupied her thoughts all day. The vision of his taught naked body, powerful arms and that unbelievable penis was all the warmth she needed tonight. That was the plan anyway and she could feel herself blushing at the... Continue»
In the morning the sun was shining right through our front room windows as I walked in wearing nothing but my gown. The carpet is very soft and the whole room was warm. Jenny was in her gown as she reached for a sheet, a large bed sheet that she folded neatly and placed on the floor as she did so she undone my gown and I got down on my hands and knees on the blanket.
As I undone Richards gown his penis jumped out to meet me. I completely removed the gown and as Richard got in position I gently moved his legs apart to allow the air to circulate nicely ... Continue»
Brief sex 008
In the cemetery at night.
Ah the summer holidays when we were young, what memorable moments. This is the time when one awakens to love. In fact we think of nothing but ass girls much more than studying. That was my case, I sought every means to draw any passing petticoat. I must say that in my youth I feel that the fair were less shy. I think I've lived in good years.
I had just turned 17, but other times other manners at that age I was going on vacation with my parents. Oh it was not a hassle but they had too much on the back sometimes. That year we went to m... Continue»
On occasion you read about something kinky and it sounds so good you just want to try it. The first time Tonya and I did this, things didn’t quite go as they should have. Mike had left one of his pornographic magazines lying on our living room radiator and Tonya found it. We began reading through the letters in it and found one with an interesting premise. It offered both a measure of fear and arousal. We decided to try it.
The premise was for me to be nearly hanging by my balls, with my head and the tips of my toes the only support to prevent the actual suspension, while my wife performed or... Continue»
ok backround i was in a car with this guy in high school. his name was ryan. we were 17 he was like 5'4" or somthing (he was short) cute like irish/itailian boy.
red hair freckles goofy smile thick cock. any way he just came after like 2 minutes and we were talking. he was still in me lying on top of me.
him: "fuck.... im so sorry but you cant blame me the blowjob eirlier got me really... ready."
me: "yeah i guess but really like two minutes." i said sadly
him: "im sorry can we do this again sometime though"
me: "well you still have the condom on, and ur still hard and in me. can'... Continue»
Castle looked at his cellphone Beckett was calling. He held the machine in his hand and swiftly pressed "Ignore". As he placed it back on his glass and chrome coffee table his plasma screen murder board caught his eye. He tapped on the portrait of Detective Kate Beckett and unfolded a digital file that spiderwebbed out all the known consorts in her mothers murder. He stared at the mess of names and dates and grudgingly dragged a file icon Marked Beckett to the Digital trash can.
"Deleting file." was all the screen said.
There was a knock at the door, he slowly walked over and opened it... Continue»
I had been dead three years when I pretended not to notice the man drop a pill into my white wine, but that didn't stop him from trying. It hadn't stopped the other six hundred and sixty five men who were intent on courting me in this bizarre and ungentlemanly manner and it wouldn't stop the next man or the next. My afterlife was an endless cycle of man after man. The same dirty tricks, the same wretched result. It was fascinating how repetitive it all was. There was almost nothing to keep me going anymore. Almost....
Three years ago I had gone to a college party at one of the local frat ho... Continue»
First let me introduce myself...I am Jay from the beautiful city Bangalore. I am 29 yrs old male with an athletic body and nice and juicy Dick of 8 inches. I am very fond of sex and anything related to sex. You can say I am a sex maniac. I always see sexy ladies in their beautiful dresses and think of having sex with them. I started watching blue films when I was in 8th class and from then I got into the wonderful world of sex. I use to read porn literature and watch adult movies whenever I got the chance. Today I would like to share my experience with a couple which happened in Bangalore. Fro... Continue»
It was 2002,I took a holiday to Ibiza with a girl I had been seeing for about a month,kind of a fuck buddy thing going on,well,to me it was. We booked the holiday for 10 days so there was plenty of time to fit a lot in,but mainly we were there for the clubs,the pills and the thrills,anyone that's been to ibiza will know what i'm talking about.Back home we were serious into clubbing too,that was our lifestyle cos we were young and enjoying ourselves.
Anyway one night we were out,I think it was at ''Space'',a well known club in ibiza, when we bumped into a group of girls from back home.I didn... Continue»
Have you ever had a really bad day?
I mean a real shitfest!
Where things go from bad to worse in the blink of an eye?
First, I got fired.
Then I got dumped
And last but certainly not least, I died!
So to recap, Fired, Dumped, Dead...bummer!
You might be asking yourself..."Jack, how does a moderately healthy guy just this side of Thirty die" Well "self" maybe next time you'll unplug the toster before you try to pry out a Pillsbury Toaster Strudle with a butterknife...while high.
So yeah I got zapped with 50,000 volts and died alone in my underwear and a Spice World T-... Continue»
It happened a long time ago when I was studying in university. I was a freshman there in the university. I had my first ever row of exams I was really freaked out to take. I had only a few days to prepare for my exams and I hadn’t had anything in my empty head. I didn’t study any of the English and I had to do that exam in order to pass to the next semester.
Professor told me to come and see her on January, 3rd. I had no time to prepare for the exam because there was too much partying and I was still a bit hangover. I had no desire to prepare myself but I still had to go and at least show up.... Continue»
There are a couple of things you never expect to hear your friend say, "Would you be willing to fuck me wife" is probably at the top of the list. But that's exactly what my friend Brian asked me as we were walking down a fairway playing golf last week. My wife and I were back home for Thanksgiving and I was spending some much needed time away from the f****y when Brian dropped that bomb-shell on me. Brian and I have known each other for about 10 years, and the only contact I have ever had with his wife is when she answers their phone or a few minutes inside of their house when I was picking hi... Continue»
Store Room With Father In Law
My name is Suganya, a house-wife aged 30. I reside with my husband and our four c***dren, at Chennai in India. We are a middle class South Indian f****y. My husband is a nice man and takes good care of my c***dren and myself. Though I have four c***dren with him, yet somehow, my private relations with my husband is not so fulfilling. That is because, unfortunately, my husband is a physically weak man. He is short, thin and very timid in nature. Though at least once a week, I do satisfy his husbandly needs, I get quite frustrated during those times. That is bec... Continue»
Now that I have known you good folks for a while, let me introduce to you my best friend - CAN YOU GUESS,WHO HE IS? Apparently we first meet shortly after my birth, but I must admit, that I really did not pay much attention to our relationship for the first 7-8 years of my life. Now at some point in time shortly after my 8th birthday, our relationship took to turn for the better. I started to realize, that my friend could actually be interesting company and I started to grow really fond of him. I started to play with him from time to time and soon realized, that with proper attention and a bit... Continue»
During a party last week, I had a chance to catch up with one of my younger cousins. We used to be so close but with everyone going their own separate ways, we all kind of grew apart. She was the closest in age with me and we were pretty close since we liked messing with our much younger cousins.
We talked about the games we used to play and how much fun it was back in those days. With everyone hanging out in the living room, I asked my cousin if she wanted to go to my room (in the basement) and have a drink with me. I went first and turn the tv on and got a couple of beers from the fridge.... Continue»