Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 70

Syd and Meg (fantasies do come true)

SALLLLL! , IMMM HOOMEEEE!" the loud shrieking voice shattered the silence of quiet Saturday afternoon. Meg slammed the door and trotted across the living room in her open toe high heels, unloading an assortment of expensive looking shopping bags. "Thats funny... heyyyy! is anyone home?" her voice boomed up the stairs into the second floor rooms disrupting her 16 year old son from his daily masturbation rituals. He lay naked on his bed trying to block out her loud cries stroking his young cock. ( shut up.. will ya) he thought starting to get frustrated with her questions interrupting his tango ... Continue»
Posted by Johnnytames69 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Friend's Wife

There are a couple of things you never expect to hear your friend say, "Would you be willing to fuck me wife" is probably at the top of the list. But that's exactly what my friend Brian asked me as we were walking down a fairway playing golf last week. My wife and I were back home for Thanksgiving and I was spending some much needed time away from the f****y when Brian dropped that bomb-shell on me. Brian and I have known each other for about 10 years, and the only contact I have ever had with his wife is when she answers their phone or a few minutes inside of their house when I was picking hi... Continue»
Posted by Mrbigdick2014 11 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Lovers Banging In Car

We knew it was not safe. At school, we loved being with each other, enjoying each other's company, cracking jokes and enjoying the time along with our studies. If we would get a chance, we would do some fondling and touching. The reason we couldn't take a chance again was because everyone had a doubt that we have crossed limits, and we didn't want to give our friends any chance of confirming their suspicion. Since we used to sit in the same horizontal row, even if the teacher was teaching, we were able to tease each other. Sometimes she would make some eye movements either pointing towards my ... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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I'm not Gay

I'm not gay, but my new flatmate is. His name is Mike (not his real name. His real name is Jayson.) I'm straight, and I've never really had much contact with gay guys. He seemed alright though, and a couple of nights after he moved in, we had a few drinks and a chat and got to know each other. He's really cool, and we have heaps in common. We've both just broken up with people, we both think relationships suck right now, and we both like white wine and Futurama. I think I'm gonna enjoy having a gay friend.
With no sex I keep waking up horny. A week ago I was in the shower, and I got out... Continue»
Posted by fed3rico 5 years ago  |  Categories: Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  
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honeymoon

A mother had 3 daughters. They were all getting married within a short time period. Because mom was a bit worried about how their sex lives would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.

The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but "Nescafe." Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to the kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar. It said: "Good till the last drop." Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.

The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after th... Continue»
Posted by bluechaser31 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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No longer a virgin...details of the following mont

See http://xhamster.com/user/querico44/posts/31230.html for the original story.

During the months following my 13th bday and the experience I had with Lisa my sitter popping my cherry, my Mom began to wonder why I always wanted her to call Lisa whenever I needed a sitter. She asked me why Lisa was my favorite and no one else would do. I tried to explain that Lisa was so good at entertaining me and she was always happy to play any of the games I liked with me. Mom said it was nice to know we were able to have so much fun together and that we got along so well, she must be a very good sitter ... Continue»
Posted by querico44 5 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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The Italian job

The Italian job.

For many years I have worked abroad installing plant and equipment around the world, one such job was situated in a small village in Italy, I will not give the name to protect the innocent etc.
My lunch was normally a sandwich and a beer prepared by one of the factory ladies which I normally ate beside the machines that I was installing, there were a couple of people in the factory who could speak a few words of English but the company had got a young girl the daughter of one of the women in the factory who spoke good English to interpret for me, when working abroad I try ... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 4 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Remember when (cousin story)

During a party last week, I had a chance to catch up with one of my younger cousins. We used to be so close but with everyone going their own separate ways, we all kind of grew apart. She was the closest in age with me and we were pretty close since we liked messing with our much younger cousins.

We talked about the games we used to play and how much fun it was back in those days. With everyone hanging out in the living room, I asked my cousin if she wanted to go to my room (in the basement) and have a drink with me. I went first and turn the tv on and got a couple of beers from the fridge.... Continue»
Posted by dirtyauthor 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Quid Pro Quo = SSBBW

It had been about fifteen minutes sitting in my car before she arrived. I was kinda nervous sitting in my vehicle in the parking lot of a shady motel .. mid day and all.

But I was desparate not to end up in jail for fraud and other charges including but not limited to Statutory **** (More on that later) .. Melody knew that and she was gonna exploit that fact to death.

I was her slave .. so to speak.

I was lost in thought when the sound of crunching gravel distracted me. I looked out of the passenger side window to see her Honda Civic pulling up two cars over.

I cringed as I... Continue»
Posted by mondotoken 6 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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accidentally licked girlfriends s****r

So I had been dating this pretty blonde girl for a while. She was 5'1" and maybe 100 pounds. She was very petite but very pretty. She had a younger s****r that was about her size but was even prettier. She was a gymnast so her body was really tight. We would go see her perform and I'd always fantasize about her tight, firm body in that tight uniform. It was Christmas time her entire f****y was staying at her house for a few nights. I was there with them. We had to sl**p all the guys in one room and girls in the other. My girlfriend loved having sex where people could see us or w... Continue»
Posted by hrdnhrny20 6 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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A to Z Fuckstories – E is for Ending Friday

So, shortly after Catherine got fucked in her van for two hours, She drove me back to school so I could go home. I got home about 6, about ten minutes before my Mom. Great timing, so I wouldn’t have to explain anything.

I ate supper, then retired to my room to reflect on the trip to the park and subsequent sex in a van. Catherine’s Double D tits were firmly engraved in my memory, as was her tight ass and willingness to suck and fuck. I’d be revisiting her church sometime.

I pulled my cock out to jackoff to my memory, when my phone buzzed. I almost ignored it, but I’m glad I didn’t. It w... Continue»
Posted by jurrjens 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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1st Time I had sex! - True Story

I thought I would give another story for everyone. It's kinda a short story but I enjoyed every minute of it. Once again, THIS IS TRUE! I love reading true encounters and I love telling you about mine...

My high school sweetheart and I came back from a party at her friends house. Since there was some alcohol at the party she decided to partake in a beverage or two. As we entered her house she stops me and starts stroking me in the foyer. Mind you, it's around 11:30pm - her curfew - and usually her parents kinda keep a keen ear to her coming home. So I am nervous because all her paren... Continue»
Posted by ffjester 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Good girl gone bad, my first masturbation.

I am a young girl going to college and working part time tutoring k**s. I was always curious about sex, but I've never try it before. Since my hormones was changing, that makes me even more horny sometime. Here's my first experiment with masturbation. On a Friday night, after watching some porn movies, my pantie was so wet I couldn't resist touching my slippery pussy. Since I don't have any toy, I thought of something crazy and run to the kitchen. There I take out a cold bottle of water, then rub it against my wet pussy, wet on wet. I start to moan. I guess this is what they call pleasure. i g... Continue»
Posted by bunnyboothang 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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A new found friend.

Now that I have known you good folks for a while, let me introduce to you my best friend - CAN YOU GUESS,WHO HE IS? Apparently we first meet shortly after my birth, but I must admit, that I really did not pay much attention to our relationship for the first 7-8 years of my life. Now at some point in time shortly after my 8th birthday, our relationship took to turn for the better. I started to realize, that my friend could actually be interesting company and I started to grow really fond of him. I started to play with him from time to time and soon realized, that with proper attention and a bit... Continue»
Posted by Mads69 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The surrogate


Milly inseminated

"Ah Mr and Mrs Jameson. I'm Drss. Dragonmage, but my friends call me Misty."
"Hi I'm Don and this is my good wife Melinda."
The handshakes were firm and purposeful.
"Please take a seat, while I explain the procedure to you."

She waved towards two chairs across her desk. "Would you like a coffee before we start?" "I'm too excited for coffee I'm afraid." Melinda giggled.
Drss.Dragonmage smiled. "That's perfectly natural, after all it is your first time. Now as you already know we aim to ensure that the host is as perfect a match as possible. Which is why w
... Continue»
Posted by MzTania 4 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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MRS BROWN YOU HAVE A LOVELY DAUGHTER

It was Saturday morning and I woke up as usual, horny with a hard-on. I thought about jerking off as I showered but decided not to since I was going to go see my girlfriend soon. She was always ready to fuck and I could hold off till we were together. I arrived at her house and rang the doorbell. In a few moments her mother opened the door, I said "Hello Mrs. Brown, how are you this morning? She said "Hi Roger, I'm doing OK. How are you?" I said "I'm good, I'm here to see your lovely daughter Janet. Thought we would go out for lunch and maybe a movie." She invited me inside and closed the door... Continue»
Posted by querico44 5 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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THE MYSTERY OF THE BATON ROUGE

The name's Jack Wayne. I'm a private detective. It all began on a
sweltering Friday in June. I was sitting behind my desk thumbing
through a paperback of "9 & 1/2 Weeks" and sipping a glass of
bourbon when my secretary stuck her head into the office.

"Hey, Jack." she said in an annoying tone. "Jack, put the book
down for a minute!"

"What is it with you?" I growled. "You always butt in right when
I'm getting to the best page, Betty!"

"Excuse me for interrupting your reading hour!" she replied,
tossing ... Continue»
Posted by meatloaf90 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Wasted Beauty

So i was walking home from a house party with my friend quite recently and as we was about to turn down the alleyway towards our area of residence we noticed two women on the side of the road just up from the alleyway. Being extremely pissed we thought it would be a great idea to as a laugh ask them to follow us. We walked into the alleyway only to turn round and see both of them slowly following us, we knew ful well what they was, the scum of the sex industry, street hookers addicted to some sort of d**g. Nevertheless in our cuurrent state we found the situation hilarious and shouted up to th... Continue»
Posted by Love_To_Eat_Pussy 5 years ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Don't trust an online Mistress!!

Sorry for the spelling but I'm just a dumb sissy blond bimbo!

Don't trust an online Mistress!!

As I write this my cock is in a pink chastity cage, but Miss says I'm not to call it a cock now. I have to call my cock, my sissy clitty. I used to have a big ish cock, when hard just over 6 inches long and real thick with a huge vain. Now my clitty is locked up, with the smallest pink chastity cage imported from China. Mistress D shows it to anyone who will look!


When they laugh at me I have tried to tell them that before I was caged my clitty was above average, they just laugh even... Continue»
Posted by DogAndOwnersCdBitch 9 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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d***k Sex on the Beach -- Part 1

She was so d***k. She thought the girls that brought her along were her friends, but they weren't. If they were, they'd have never let me drag her away from the fire.

I was a gatecrasher. I hadn't expected to be at any party, I didn't really know too many people in this city apart from my house-mates. I work at a local drive-through liquor store. Late one night a bunch of immature, loud-mouthed lads came through and told us about a beach party they were going to. I was on the 'early' shift, I finished at 11pm just as they came in to stock their trunk. The whole world was their friend just ... Continue»
Posted by PureCoffee 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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