Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 70

WILL'S FANTASY PART 1

I come to be with you in USA.
You take me to your home and we talk as you get me settled in the guest room.
Wanting to take things slow till we both feel ready for more.
We grow closer as the days go by and I know what I want.
I go to the garage to help you fix the car ,wearing a dress and bringing a small hamper of snacks (short bread biscuits,strawberries ,whipped cream and chocolate sauce )for later ...
I stand there ,in the door way ,smiling as you tell me I am not dressed for garage work...
You hand me overalls...
I look into your eyes & smile at you then drop my gaze & gigg... Continue»
Posted by JerseyBean 5 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
720
  |  
93%
  |  4

Jan 1973 Bondi Beach

This is only part of a WORK IN PROGRESS


As the singer was exhorting the crowd to take part, she took three steps in my direction and smiled even more. She said the line perfectly in tune "I looked at you" and I answered, "You looked at me" and we both laughed. Another miracle, this was a girl who liked The Doors almost as much as I did. “I smiled at you," she said, and again I answered, "You smiled at me." At the exact moment the band on stage finished their intro to the war song both of us sang together, "And we're on OUR way."
Everyone in the crowd heard it and wonde... Continue»
Posted by DocW 5 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
623
  |  
93%
  |  4

A Day in the park or How NOT to take sexy self pot

A couple days ago I was feeling kind of bad because I had dumped on a guy I had been chatting with. I started thinking, what could I do to make it up to him. Suddenly I knew, I'll take some pictures just for him! It was a nice day outside so I thought - an outdoor shoot would give both of us a thrill! He knows I tend to be an exhibitionist so I ran upstars and picked out my outfit. I choose a short blue jean skirt and T-shirt with no panties, partly to get me in the mood and partly because I knew he would like the view.
I planned on doing it in my backyard but as I went to the back doo... Continue»
Posted by uwqgqfrm 4 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
498
  |  
93%
  |  11

Perfect girlfriend has a big sex drive!

Apart from this, the perfect girlfriend is a career-minded woman who earns more than their partner but at the same time wants to stay at home and bring up the c***dren.

The clue to these seemingly contradictory demands lies in the men polled, 3,000 bachelors.

Near the top of their girlfriend checklist is the requirement that she should have a "pert bottom" – which may explain why they are still single.

And while three-quarters of the men polled said their ideal woman would keep her weight in check, 89 per cent also wanted her to tuck into a big meal without worrying. These perfect ... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
228
  |  
93%

RAW: The Sex Magicians

Part 1 1

AT THE ORGASM RESEARCH FOUNDATION Dr. Roger Prong, who was known by some foundation employees as "a bl**dy Peeping Tom" and a "horny old voyeur" was in fact very scientific, or so he always insisted as he watched the girls having orgasms.

At the laboratory, Josie Welch, already nude but with a single sheet demurely spread over her full and obviously glorious body, looked unhappy as Roger entered.

"They tell me there won't be any men today,"

she said as soon as she saw the doctor.

"That's right, my dear," he said with professional unction. "That part of your testing i... Continue»
Posted by Johnnytames69 4 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
313
  |  
93%
  |  2

The Italian Job 9

The Italian Job 9
Now to return to Italy, you remember that Maria had told me all about the situation when her father and uncle ****d her and I hope by now you have all forgiven me.
I got a phone call one morning at the factory, a strange sounding woman’s voice that asked me to meet her at the factory the following night, I asked what it was about and the voice just said it was a query on my contract, I then asked why it could not be dealt with during the day and she said she was out of town and would not be back till the evening and hoped it would not be a problem, I talked to Maria about i... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor  |  
390
  |  
93%
  |  1

Inexcusable Love Part 1

Chapter 1~

Cranbrook Secondary.
1:17 p.m.
Friday.

"Hey Cranbrook Secondary. Here are your daily announcements. Cheerleading squad needs to be at the Lions football game at four thirty for practices before the B.C. Lions play Chicago. If you want my advice guys, bring a camera-" laughing in the background- "and now for the choir. Hey Choir students, wondering if there are any extra try outs? Fortunately, yes! Try outs start after school at three o' five so be there sharp! Lastly,grade twelve drama singing tryouts-" I straightened my back to listen carefully- "will be held in the north ... Continue»
Posted by milli214 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
422
  |  
93%
  |  1

Fuck Me, You Bastards!

(Wife gets an unexpected double fucking)

My wife Shere and I had just recently moved from the city to a rural area, out in the country you might say. We had grown tired of the noise, smog, and fast pace that come with living in "the center of things." Our new home was quite a long way from any neighbors, set back against reforested mountains with a grassy plain in front. The days were hot, the evenings cool, and the sunsets gorgeous.

Shere was 37 years old and more attractive than any girl half her age. At 5 ft 5 inches she has beautiful legs that gracefully accentuate her ability to fil... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
1291
  |  
93%
  |  1

One of Those Days

It was late afternoon as Beth stepped from her office into the cool evening air. Autumn was closing in, evidenced by the goose bumps rising on her bare arms and the involuntary shiver riding up her back.

"Night Beth," her colleague, Barry called, also on his way out. "Brrrrr, you'll need to wrap up warm tonight!"

That's what he thought. Jonny, Beth's newly found beau, had preoccupied her thoughts all day. The vision of his taught naked body, powerful arms and that unbelievable penis was all the warmth she needed tonight. That was the plan anyway and she could feel herself blushing at the... Continue»
Posted by Keepitclandestine 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
555
  |  
93%

Milking the Love

Richard

In the morning the sun was shining right through our front room windows as I walked in wearing nothing but my gown. The carpet is very soft and the whole room was warm. Jenny was in her gown as she reached for a sheet, a large bed sheet that she folded neatly and placed on the floor as she did so she undone my gown and I got down on my hands and knees on the blanket.



Jenny

As I undone Richards gown his penis jumped out to meet me. I completely removed the gown and as Richard got in position I gently moved his legs apart to allow the air to circulate nicely ... Continue»
Posted by Torqy 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
676
  |  
93%

Hanging Around

On occasion you read about something kinky and it sounds so good you just want to try it. The first time Tonya and I did this, things didn’t quite go as they should have. Mike had left one of his pornographic magazines lying on our living room radiator and Tonya found it. We began reading through the letters in it and found one with an interesting premise. It offered both a measure of fear and arousal. We decided to try it.
The premise was for me to be nearly hanging by my balls, with my head and the tips of my toes the only support to prevent the actual suspension, while my wife performed or... Continue»
Posted by voivodevlad 4 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor  |  
402
  |  
93%

the funniest conversation during sex ever

ok backround i was in a car with this guy in high school. his name was ryan. we were 17 he was like 5'4" or somthing (he was short) cute like irish/itailian boy.
red hair freckles goofy smile thick cock. any way he just came after like 2 minutes and we were talking. he was still in me lying on top of me.

him: "fuck.... im so sorry but you cant blame me the blowjob eirlier got me really... ready."

me: "yeah i guess but really like two minutes." i said sadly

him: "im sorry can we do this again sometime though"

me: "well you still have the condom on, and ur still hard and in me. can'... Continue»
Posted by Michele1234 4 years ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
843
  |  
93%
  |  4

Castle: What happens next

Castle looked at his cellphone Beckett was calling. He held the machine in his hand and swiftly pressed "Ignore". As he placed it back on his glass and chrome coffee table his plasma screen murder board caught his eye. He tapped on the portrait of Detective Kate Beckett and unfolded a digital file that spiderwebbed out all the known consorts in her mothers murder. He stared at the mess of names and dates and grudgingly dragged a file icon Marked Beckett to the Digital trash can.

"Deleting file." was all the screen said.

There was a knock at the door, he slowly walked over and opened it... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 4 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
522
  |  
93%
  |  4

I won a bet

I told you of a bet my wife and I made a while back and she won that one. Well I got her on another bet that I won. She was a gracious looser and said what do you have in mind? I said well I am feeling kinky tonight and I'll think of something, but while I am you go get showered and shave your pussy and ass hole bald. ( she keeps them shaved anyway ). She was off to the shower. I went in our room and started digging for something for her to wear. Since it was a warm evening I picked out her gray Elizabeth and James Mara tank dress , it comes about seven inches above her knee. no bra and her bl... Continue»
Posted by woreout 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
1202
  |  
93%
  |  2

To Be Kneaded Like This Was GREAT!!

I am a 61 year old man living in Florida who has always been healthy and rarely ever sees a doctor. However, about 6 months ago I had an auto accident that caused an injury to my neck. After my surgery, part of my recovery included physical therapy and massage therapy. I found a good physical ther****t and worked out diligently 3 times per week. After a week of working out and feeling a bit tight I remembered the massage script and checked the phone book and one ad caught my eye. There was a ther****t not even 5 miles from my home so I called and made my first massage appointment. However, the... Continue»
Posted by Margar 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
608
  |  
93%

the dead girl

I had been dead three years when I pretended not to notice the man drop a pill into my white wine, but that didn't stop him from trying. It hadn't stopped the other six hundred and sixty five men who were intent on courting me in this bizarre and ungentlemanly manner and it wouldn't stop the next man or the next. My afterlife was an endless cycle of man after man. The same dirty tricks, the same wretched result. It was fascinating how repetitive it all was. There was almost nothing to keep me going anymore. Almost....

Three years ago I had gone to a college party at one of the local frat ho... Continue»
Posted by emobabygirl 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
1231
  |  
93%
  |  3

My first time tasting female juices!

First let me introduce myself...I am Jay from the beautiful city Bangalore. I am 29 yrs old male with an athletic body and nice and juicy Dick of 8 inches. I am very fond of sex and anything related to sex. You can say I am a sex maniac. I always see sexy ladies in their beautiful dresses and think of having sex with them. I started watching blue films when I was in 8th class and from then I got into the wonderful world of sex. I use to read porn literature and watch adult movies whenever I got the chance. Today I would like to share my experience with a couple which happened in Bangalore. Fro... Continue»
Posted by urpussysucker 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
1262
  |  
93%
  |  3

"Mostly" Ghostly

Have you ever had a really bad day?

I mean a real shitfest!

Where things go from bad to worse in the blink of an eye?

First, I got fired.

Then I got dumped

And last but certainly not least, I died!

So to recap, Fired, Dumped, Dead...bummer!

You might be asking yourself..."Jack, how does a moderately healthy guy just this side of Thirty die" Well "self" maybe next time you'll unplug the toster before you try to pry out a Pillsbury Toaster Strudle with a butterknife...while high.

So yeah I got zapped with 50,000 volts and died alone in my underwear and a Spice World T-... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo, Voyeur  |  
504
  |  
93%
  |  6

Sperm Donor

I sat there and listened to my wife and her s****r talk. They had come up with some hair brain idea of starting a sperm donor club. Women would join this club and they would have a list of sperm donor that would donate sperm free of charge. "So this is a swingers club?" I asked them. "No, we would set up a time for the man to be ready when the woman is ovulating, her husband would get her ready and the donor's wife would get him ready and then he would ejaculate into a tube and then it would be given the woman's husband to squirt it up inside her as she orgasims. They would never meet and th... Continue»
Posted by zimabean 1 year ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
4341
  |  
93%
  |  4

Girlfriend's 1st Bi experience/My first 3sum

This is a story about our first time with another woman.


It was NYE and we were both feeling pretty good. I had already filled up her pussy with 4 loads of cum during the day/evening. We went over to the bar at the resort where we were staying for the NYE party. As with any party, there was a lot of drinking and dancing. Not long after midnight, an older woman (47) started to grind on my gf. My gf has always been curious about being with another woman, especially an older one. I could tell that my gf was starting to get turned on and not long after they started dancing, they excused... Continue»
Posted by rickhaynes9 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
2638
  |  
93%
  |  3