Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 70

The Italian Job 9

The Italian Job 9
Now to return to Italy, you remember that Maria had told me all about the situation when her father and uncle ****d her and I hope by now you have all forgiven me.
I got a phone call one morning at the factory, a strange sounding woman’s voice that asked me to meet her at the factory the following night, I asked what it was about and the voice just said it was a query on my contract, I then asked why it could not be dealt with during the day and she said she was out of town and would not be back till the evening and hoped it would not be a problem, I talked to Maria about i... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor  |  
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Inexcusable Love Part 1

Chapter 1~

Cranbrook Secondary.
1:17 p.m.
Friday.

"Hey Cranbrook Secondary. Here are your daily announcements. Cheerleading squad needs to be at the Lions football game at four thirty for practices before the B.C. Lions play Chicago. If you want my advice guys, bring a camera-" laughing in the background- "and now for the choir. Hey Choir students, wondering if there are any extra try outs? Fortunately, yes! Try outs start after school at three o' five so be there sharp! Lastly,grade twelve drama singing tryouts-" I straightened my back to listen carefully- "will be held in the north ... Continue»
Posted by milli214 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Fuck Me, You Bastards!

(Wife gets an unexpected double fucking)

My wife Shere and I had just recently moved from the city to a rural area, out in the country you might say. We had grown tired of the noise, smog, and fast pace that come with living in "the center of things." Our new home was quite a long way from any neighbors, set back against reforested mountains with a grassy plain in front. The days were hot, the evenings cool, and the sunsets gorgeous.

Shere was 37 years old and more attractive than any girl half her age. At 5 ft 5 inches she has beautiful legs that gracefully accentuate her ability to fil... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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One of Those Days

It was late afternoon as Beth stepped from her office into the cool evening air. Autumn was closing in, evidenced by the goose bumps rising on her bare arms and the involuntary shiver riding up her back.

"Night Beth," her colleague, Barry called, also on his way out. "Brrrrr, you'll need to wrap up warm tonight!"

That's what he thought. Jonny, Beth's newly found beau, had preoccupied her thoughts all day. The vision of his taught naked body, powerful arms and that unbelievable penis was all the warmth she needed tonight. That was the plan anyway and she could feel herself blushing at the... Continue»
Posted by Keepitclandestine 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Milking the Love

Richard

In the morning the sun was shining right through our front room windows as I walked in wearing nothing but my gown. The carpet is very soft and the whole room was warm. Jenny was in her gown as she reached for a sheet, a large bed sheet that she folded neatly and placed on the floor as she did so she undone my gown and I got down on my hands and knees on the blanket.



Jenny

As I undone Richards gown his penis jumped out to meet me. I completely removed the gown and as Richard got in position I gently moved his legs apart to allow the air to circulate nicely ... Continue»
Posted by Torqy 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Hanging Around

On occasion you read about something kinky and it sounds so good you just want to try it. The first time Tonya and I did this, things didn’t quite go as they should have. Mike had left one of his pornographic magazines lying on our living room radiator and Tonya found it. We began reading through the letters in it and found one with an interesting premise. It offered both a measure of fear and arousal. We decided to try it.
The premise was for me to be nearly hanging by my balls, with my head and the tips of my toes the only support to prevent the actual suspension, while my wife performed or... Continue»
Posted by voivodevlad 4 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor  |  
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the funniest conversation during sex ever

ok backround i was in a car with this guy in high school. his name was ryan. we were 17 he was like 5'4" or somthing (he was short) cute like irish/itailian boy.
red hair freckles goofy smile thick cock. any way he just came after like 2 minutes and we were talking. he was still in me lying on top of me.

him: "fuck.... im so sorry but you cant blame me the blowjob eirlier got me really... ready."

me: "yeah i guess but really like two minutes." i said sadly

him: "im sorry can we do this again sometime though"

me: "well you still have the condom on, and ur still hard and in me. can'... Continue»
Posted by Michele1234 4 years ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Castle: What happens next

Castle looked at his cellphone Beckett was calling. He held the machine in his hand and swiftly pressed "Ignore". As he placed it back on his glass and chrome coffee table his plasma screen murder board caught his eye. He tapped on the portrait of Detective Kate Beckett and unfolded a digital file that spiderwebbed out all the known consorts in her mothers murder. He stared at the mess of names and dates and grudgingly dragged a file icon Marked Beckett to the Digital trash can.

"Deleting file." was all the screen said.

There was a knock at the door, he slowly walked over and opened it... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 3 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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I won a bet

I told you of a bet my wife and I made a while back and she won that one. Well I got her on another bet that I won. She was a gracious looser and said what do you have in mind? I said well I am feeling kinky tonight and I'll think of something, but while I am you go get showered and shave your pussy and ass hole bald. ( she keeps them shaved anyway ). She was off to the shower. I went in our room and started digging for something for her to wear. Since it was a warm evening I picked out her gray Elizabeth and James Mara tank dress , it comes about seven inches above her knee. no bra and her bl... Continue»
Posted by woreout 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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To Be Kneaded Like This Was GREAT!!

I am a 61 year old man living in Florida who has always been healthy and rarely ever sees a doctor. However, about 6 months ago I had an auto accident that caused an injury to my neck. After my surgery, part of my recovery included physical therapy and massage therapy. I found a good physical ther****t and worked out diligently 3 times per week. After a week of working out and feeling a bit tight I remembered the massage script and checked the phone book and one ad caught my eye. There was a ther****t not even 5 miles from my home so I called and made my first massage appointment. However, the... Continue»
Posted by Margar 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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the dead girl

I had been dead three years when I pretended not to notice the man drop a pill into my white wine, but that didn't stop him from trying. It hadn't stopped the other six hundred and sixty five men who were intent on courting me in this bizarre and ungentlemanly manner and it wouldn't stop the next man or the next. My afterlife was an endless cycle of man after man. The same dirty tricks, the same wretched result. It was fascinating how repetitive it all was. There was almost nothing to keep me going anymore. Almost....

Three years ago I had gone to a college party at one of the local frat ho... Continue»
Posted by emobabygirl 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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My first time tasting female juices!

First let me introduce myself...I am Jay from the beautiful city Bangalore. I am 29 yrs old male with an athletic body and nice and juicy Dick of 8 inches. I am very fond of sex and anything related to sex. You can say I am a sex maniac. I always see sexy ladies in their beautiful dresses and think of having sex with them. I started watching blue films when I was in 8th class and from then I got into the wonderful world of sex. I use to read porn literature and watch adult movies whenever I got the chance. Today I would like to share my experience with a couple which happened in Bangalore. Fro... Continue»
Posted by urpussysucker 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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"Mostly" Ghostly

Have you ever had a really bad day?

I mean a real shitfest!

Where things go from bad to worse in the blink of an eye?

First, I got fired.

Then I got dumped

And last but certainly not least, I died!

So to recap, Fired, Dumped, Dead...bummer!

You might be asking yourself..."Jack, how does a moderately healthy guy just this side of Thirty die" Well "self" maybe next time you'll unplug the toster before you try to pry out a Pillsbury Toaster Strudle with a butterknife...while high.

So yeah I got zapped with 50,000 volts and died alone in my underwear and a Spice World T-... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo, Voyeur  |  
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Sperm Donor

I sat there and listened to my wife and her s****r talk. They had come up with some hair brain idea of starting a sperm donor club. Women would join this club and they would have a list of sperm donor that would donate sperm free of charge. "So this is a swingers club?" I asked them. "No, we would set up a time for the man to be ready when the woman is ovulating, her husband would get her ready and the donor's wife would get him ready and then he would ejaculate into a tube and then it would be given the woman's husband to squirt it up inside her as she orgasims. They would never meet and th... Continue»
Posted by zimabean 1 year ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Girlfriend's 1st Bi experience/My first 3sum

This is a story about our first time with another woman.


It was NYE and we were both feeling pretty good. I had already filled up her pussy with 4 loads of cum during the day/evening. We went over to the bar at the resort where we were staying for the NYE party. As with any party, there was a lot of drinking and dancing. Not long after midnight, an older woman (47) started to grind on my gf. My gf has always been curious about being with another woman, especially an older one. I could tell that my gf was starting to get turned on and not long after they started dancing, they excused... Continue»
Posted by rickhaynes9 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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How I made to orgasms to my horny teacher

It happened a long time ago when I was studying in university. I was a freshman there in the university. I had my first ever row of exams I was really freaked out to take. I had only a few days to prepare for my exams and I hadn’t had anything in my empty head. I didn’t study any of the English and I had to do that exam in order to pass to the next semester.
Professor told me to come and see her on January, 3rd. I had no time to prepare for the exam because there was too much partying and I was still a bit hangover. I had no desire to prepare myself but I still had to go and at least show up.... Continue»
Posted by urpussysucker 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Red Lace Panties


Standing only in my red lace panties, brushing my teeth, I wipe the fog from the bathroom mirror.

Looking into the mirror, I see you step from the shower, give me a smile and a wink, then turn away from me to reach for a towel.

I can’t help but notice your sexy physique and your sweet tight buns. I swiftly turn and give your ass cheek a hard slap. Your hips thrust forward as your shoulders push back. You whirl around, with a scowl on your face.

Still brushing my teeth, I innocently tilt my head from side to side and shrug my shoulder a little as if to say “what?” Without sa... Continue»
Posted by vividtease 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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My son’s girlfriend

Well let’s just say I’m the mountainman66 I got that nickname so long ago I don’t even remember why. I’m a big old boy somewhat built like a tank, a water tank.



And like any good story worth telling, you have to have a protagonist and an antagonist.



But with this story you get to decide who is who.



It all started with my divorce, it left me somewhat high and dry, and not really caring about the opposite sex. Now who ever come up with that line had it right on the money. Opposite sex, what a laugh. More like obstinate sex.



BUT I’M NOT BITTER!



Okay now back to... Continue»
Posted by MountainMan66 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Billy 18 - Aunt Diane 49

by MisterReason


When Billy Jefferson's parents had to rush out of town to be at the side of his grandmother after she suffered a stroke, his mother's s****r Diane was called upon to keep an eye on Billy and the house until his parents could return.

It worked out well, because Billy was very fond of his Aunt Diane. Since her husband had divorced her several years ago, she had led a lonely life out in the sticks, so being called upon to help was a welcome break from the boring routine of her single life.

...

Chapter One: Bad timing

Diane Shaver couldn't believe her luck, an... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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The surrogate


Milly inseminated

"Ah Mr and Mrs Jameson. I'm Drss. Dragonmage, but my friends call me Misty."
"Hi I'm Don and this is my good wife Melinda."
The handshakes were firm and purposeful.
"Please take a seat, while I explain the procedure to you."

She waved towards two chairs across her desk. "Would you like a coffee before we start?" "I'm too excited for coffee I'm afraid." Melinda giggled.
Drss.Dragonmage smiled. "That's perfectly natural, after all it is your first time. Now as you already know we aim to ensure that the host is as perfect a match as possible. Which is why w
... Continue»
Posted by MzTania 4 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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