Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 70

Janet and John - Book 1

This is my take on the classic Janet and John stories, with apologies to Mabel O'Donnell.

Janet and John have the same birthday.
Janet and John are twins.
They live in a big house in the country with their Mummy and Daddy.
After school they love to take off all their clothes and run around the big garden.
John runs fast.
Janet loves to watch John’s little willie bounce around as he runs.
Janet runs faster than John.
John can only see her back and bottom as she runs away.

Janet doesn’t have a willie, she has a little slit.
Sometimes Janet hides behind a tree and lets John find her... Continue»
Posted by dasx2 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Hospital

Hospital


Men often complain that their wives aren't interested in sex, but my
husband doesn't complain at all---I'm the one with the complaint!
From early morning to late at night, my husband works as a heavy
equipment salesman. He makes tons of money, but he never makes love to me
except for a half-hearted effort on some weekends. What's even worse, when he
gets home at night he usually falls asl**p on the couch. We never see a movie,
go out to dinner, or even just go to the mall to get out of the house. Yes, if
it wasn't for the fact that he gives me and the k**s all the ... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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I love a girl who loves to suck dick! (True story)

This is my first story on here...

Please comment and tell me about similar events. (if you want more info i will be happy to inbox and share)

So i been on a social site on my cell for about 4 years now called moco. I have had all types of women of there from big to small, ugly to fine, short to tall. That damn moco have got me more ass than any other site.
So im in the "near me" chat room to holla at the local chicks around a month ago and this girl has "my lips your dick" on a pic of her's and licking her lips. So i shot at her "you must really like sucking dick..." she like " hell yea... Continue»
Posted by DFreaky1 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Mistaken Identity

Man gets to lead the life of a rich man...if only for a day...

Mistaken Identity.

Back in the day, the early 1980's to be precise, I was badly in need. In need of a job, to be more specific. These were times of prosperity for most. The Dow had recently hit 2000, which was a record. The economy was booming and would continue to do so throughout most of the decade. Everyone and everything seemed to be doing great, except for me. Being the remarkably perceptive dude he was, my friend Rich sensed my need for employment. He had recently started a small company installing and mai... Continue»
Posted by Exakta66 3 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Funny blowjob in a nerd's car

Hello everyone, this is my first story here... This is a real one, i haven't many of them to tell so in the future i could switch to fantasy. I'm also not english so tell me about my writing :-p
By now: here the facts. I was 23 and i broke up with my boyfriend after almost 1 year, i was very sad, angry and, must admit, cock-hungry.
That night a good friend of mine held a birthday party in a nightclub, we danced and had a very good time, drinking much. Aware of me being a good drinker, my friend drove me to the party. There, however, she found a very handsome man to go home with, and asked me... Continue»
Posted by Bailight 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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RAW: The Sex Magicians

Part 1 1

AT THE ORGASM RESEARCH FOUNDATION Dr. Roger Prong, who was known by some foundation employees as "a bl**dy Peeping Tom" and a "horny old voyeur" was in fact very scientific, or so he always insisted as he watched the girls having orgasms.

At the laboratory, Josie Welch, already nude but with a single sheet demurely spread over her full and obviously glorious body, looked unhappy as Roger entered.

"They tell me there won't be any men today,"

she said as soon as she saw the doctor.

"That's right, my dear," he said with professional unction. "That part of your testing i... Continue»
Posted by Johnnytames69 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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what a FUCKING day !

we are a couple and are very much in love and love to fuck each other whenever and where ever we can!

it was a saturday morning and my sexy boyfriend woke me up by fingering my pussy until i was nice and wet, he then proceeded to suck on my nipples and kiss all down my body until he came down to my wet pussy. he licked my clit and sucked on my lips until i came.

after i had cum he flipped me over ontop of him and slammed my pussy down onto his rock hard dick. i moaned with enjoyment... i leaned my upper body down onto his chest and began to shake my ass up and down just on the head of ... Continue»
Posted by Hrnycouple 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Penile implant sex

This is a true story

I hope that men with erectile dysfunction take this information to heart.
Well let me start by saying I'm a 44 year old man that's been dealing with the fallout of a couple heart attacks and as a aside effect of my various medications that I'm on my Dick at first would work but I noticed that I could fuck for as long as I used to before my heart issues. I tried the pills, the pump, the muse system, all with no solid maintainable erection, so things with my wife were starting to get strained, and my confidence was shot. I told my doctor about my home issues with the wif... Continue»
Posted by Taboo69 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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My son’s girlfriend

Well let’s just say I’m the mountainman66 I got that nickname so long ago I don’t even remember why. I’m a big old boy somewhat built like a tank, a water tank.



And like any good story worth telling, you have to have a protagonist and an antagonist.



But with this story you get to decide who is who.



It all started with my divorce, it left me somewhat high and dry, and not really caring about the opposite sex. Now who ever come up with that line had it right on the money. Opposite sex, what a laugh. More like obstinate sex.



BUT I’M NOT BITTER!



Okay now back to... Continue»
Posted by MountainMan66 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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OMG, its big black cock

Rachel my neighbour came over yesterday morning for a coffee and a chat. She asked me if I could go out with her to meet a old friend of hers from college days. The reason she gave me to go with her was that she didn’t want to be seen with him alone just encase someone saw her and it caused a rumour, if her husband hears it he will get offended. So I agreed, we met him in the evening at a local bar, he was a black guy, stocky built around 30-35 years of age. Rachel introduced him to me saying that’s her ex called Danny. (that was the first time I heard he was her Ex?!) Anyway we talked for som... Continue»
Posted by obi_malluda 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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My D***k Mom

There was a knock on the front door. I was pretty sure who it was.

So let me set this up for you. If you’ve read my stories, you know that my wife, Janice and I, share our home and bed with my s****r Ginger. We’ve been living between Texas and Florida for the past few years, but Florida, where I grew up, was going to be our home from now on. And to put it plain, Florida is hot. It is hot in the winter, hot in the spring and fall. And it is really hot in the summer. Having grown up in the heat of Florida, clothes in our home are an option. Always have been, always will be. It’s so m... Continue»
Posted by abigfan 7 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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return to the sex party (Priapus)

After my first time at the sex party I was
well I'm not sure how to describe it, my confidence
was up and I felt empowered.
The parties were monthly, just about right
more frequent and they wouldn't be special
but less and I would start to stray.

For my return visit I did some shopping
I went online and did a bit of research
then purchased something special which
arrived on the morning of the party.
I have a summer dress that was ideal
lloose and flowing, slightly hippie and
a bit girlie, I felt like the flake girl in
it. I wore it with a belt low slung around my h... Continue»
Posted by celcus 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The surrogate


Milly inseminated

"Ah Mr and Mrs Jameson. I'm Drss. Dragonmage, but my friends call me Misty."
"Hi I'm Don and this is my good wife Melinda."
The handshakes were firm and purposeful.
"Please take a seat, while I explain the procedure to you."

She waved towards two chairs across her desk. "Would you like a coffee before we start?" "I'm too excited for coffee I'm afraid." Melinda giggled.
Drss.Dragonmage smiled. "That's perfectly natural, after all it is your first time. Now as you already know we aim to ensure that the host is as perfect a match as possible. Which is why w
... Continue»
Posted by MzTania 3 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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THE INTERVIEW

You have been advertising for a PA but only had one response. I had responded to the advert, but I could only attend the interview at 6pm which you had agreed to but it meant you staying on after hours.

Its 5.45pm, you groan to yourself after the day you have had, everyone else has left for the day and this is all you need, you just want to go home and watch some porn to de-stress.

The buzzer goes and you get up to open the door. I introduce myself and put my hand out for you to shake it, you notice I am smartly dressed and you introduce yourself and invite me into your office. I am w... Continue»
Posted by rosebud69 2 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Playing With Mommy

My name is Ashley and I live with my mom Kayla in a smallish apartment in a small town. When my dad left my mom I think it was harder for her then me I think because I just found things to focus on and even when he was around he really didn't pay much attention to me anyways. Mom tried dating again but after awhile I guess that she had realized she lost her trust in all men and would tell me how she was going to spend her time with me now helping me when I needed it and that we could have fun together going on vacations and stuff. I definitely have my moms looks which I feel blessed to have be... Continue»
Posted by vanilla_gorilla699 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The Game

Pam was just twelve and loved her b*****r a lot. He was three years older and she would do anything for him. They were together a lot as their parents worked long hours at their business. One day Ray took her into his bedroom and told her "We are going to play a fun game that grownups like to play. It is our secret and you can not tell any one at all." She smiled and said okay. He then told her "We have to take our clothes off and I will show you more about the game." As they both got naked Ray began to run his hands over her body. Then he licked on each flat tit and sucked on a tiny nipple. H... Continue»
Posted by hardcorehumpergirl 1 year ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Confronted

It's rarely that you find yourself alone with Mia Reid. On this occasion, no-one else is expected for at least half an hour. You make her a cup of tea and take advantage of the opportunity to get to know her better.

You've lusted after Mia for a while now, but you've never made a move on her. You can't imagine that anything good would happen if you were ever to proposition her. Instead you make small talk and wonder if she suspects the depth of your feelings.

Mia eventually gets up from the table to put her empty cup in the sink. She's talking animatedly about something that happened l... Continue»
Posted by camdogg 1 year ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Bare Beach By Bicycle

For foxy female friends - by Petra, granddod of Poet Pete, who hosts me here

I invite her for a trip to the beach by bicycle. I make sure she takes the racing bike up front.
I guide her through the greenery to the dunes through a natural park to the almost deserted beach.
I love to look at her legs and ass move up and down while she wheels just two meters ahead of me.
I wonder whether I should have asked her not to wear anything underneath that sexy short skirt?

I will get her wet when we bake in the sun on the warm sand almost out of view for shore walkers.
I already know how... Continue»
Posted by petdyke 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Who is the Cuckold Now


Melanie was a woman with a plan.

She had already achieved the first part of the plan by marrying Rod. You see Rod is incredibly rich! Just how wealthy she did not know but he had houses or condos in California, New York and Florida. He had servants, cars, and a jet. Yes he is wealthy beyond most people’s imaginations.

Melanie was poor and had been working as an erotic dancer when Rod had come in one night. For what Melanie lacked in money was offset by her sexy looks and her ability to sexually please others.

There was only... Continue»
Posted by mooremike 4 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Ex-girlfriend Sarah. True Story 3

Although this is the third story about Sarah, an ex-girlfriend of mine, it’s actually about the first time that I discovered what a horny slutty exhibitionist she was. I hope you enjoy hearing about her exhibitionism, just as her current boyfriend will, once it’s published and I send him a link.

Sarah and I were invited to a fancy dress party. Sarah wanted to go as a sexy schoolgirl, complete with a very, very short skirt, black stockings and suspender belt, half undone blouse, etc. I should have realised right from that moment what a total exhibitionist she was and dumped her. But, ... Continue»
Posted by KevinGraves2 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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