Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 7
The Italian job.
For many years I have worked abroad installing plant and equipment around the world, one such job was situated in a small village in Italy, I will not give the name to protect the innocent etc.
My lunch was normally a sandwich and a beer prepared by one of the factory ladies which I normally ate beside the machines that I was installing, there were a couple of people in the factory who could speak a few words of English but the company had got a young girl the daughter of one of the women in the factory who spoke good English to interpret for me, when working abroad I try ... Continue»
(Short story I've got a longer one in the works I wrote
this back 2001 )
Gary Badcock was feeling a little drained from all the seminars,
he was attending the last three days. Now that he was finished with the
last one. He thought he'd stop in the hotel lounge for quick drink before
going home. Gary was lucky that all these seminars were in being held in his
It took a few minutes for his eyes to ajust to th darkness of the place.
He saw a few pleople in the place. As he sat down at the bar he glanced over
to dark hair lady a few stools down. He ordered a ... Continue»
The Italian job 2
The installation progressed and although we did not have sex again that week, the lunch was still as good and as big, Roseanna stood smiling at me whilst I ate and would give me a small kiss as I left the kitchen, the following week Roseanna was on holiday so I was invited to go for lunch with Maria and Yvonne her mother, I was thankful that it was only a plate of spaghetti, it was about mid-week and Maria’s mother was not in the factory, Maria seemed a bit distressed and I thought that we would not be going for lunch when she approached me and said can you drive me home as ... Continue»
The Italian job 3
I have told you about my adventures in the factory with Roseanna, Maria and Yvonne, this is a continuation of that adventure after I got over the shock of Maria teasing me about babies but I did continue to look after Maria and Yvonne sexually going for dinner at least once a week, taking her mother through the anal experience which she seemed to enjoy from the noise she made, I didn’t fuck Maria in the arse because for some reason I felt she was too special for me to spoil in this way and because of the way her mother was screaming when I fucked her arse, Maria could not qu... Continue»
The Italian Job 4
As I opened my bedroom door I met a sight that made my cock jump again, the maid was in the room but she was bent over cleaning the coffee table, with her back to the door, I could not help noticing I assure you that I could see straight up her dress, she was wearing a thong that had pulled up right into her crack with her vulva lips on each side of it framing it, I could not resist such an apparent invitation, I came behind her, she had not seen or heard me because she had got her iPod on and her earphones in, I sank to my knees behind her, slid my hands around her thighs a... Continue»
After getting some pizza and soda, I headed back home to think this over. If my thoughts were really controlling people then I have 3 basic questions. 1) How far can I push my ability? 2) How many people can I control at one time? And 3) How far can I push them? I wanted to bug the girl next door again, but she had something important in the morning. As I was walking into my apartment a very busty, full figured redhead steamed out of the front door. She nearly knocked me over in her haste and haughtily apologized. "Hold on beautiful. whats the rush?" She rolled her beautiful green eyes and sa... Continue»
She stirred and pressed the bell beside her bed, the maid came in carrying a bottle of water and a bottle of wine with glasses, she set them down on the coffee table and left snatching a brief glance in my direction, I moved to the bed and poured some water for both of us then handed Roseanna a glass she was quieter now and more settled, I put the sheet over her, leaned down and kissed her, she opened her eyes, they were glazed, she turned her face up to me and I kissed her on the mouth as her tongue came out seeking mine, my cock lurched and we were up and running again.
OK!!!!!, OK I’ll t... Continue»
The Italian Job 6
This story contains some reference to what can only be described as c***d abuse so if you are of a nervous disposition or hate anything of this nature then close it now but as it is a part of the overall tale then I must tell it, I apologise in advance if I offend anyone, it is not intentional.
I returned to the village and as suspected faced an inquisition from Maria, she wanted to know all about my weekend with Rosanna, what was her house like?, did she really live alone?, was it wild sex?, was anyone else there?, and last but not least did I prefer Roseanna to Maria or ... Continue»
The Italian Job 7
Earlier in the story I told you about my visit to Czechoslovakia and the fact that the people were so curious well! I am going to put this story in here as I have already mentioned it and it is a bit lighter than the last one and may I hope go some way to helping you to forgive me if I have offended any of you.
It was still Czechoslovakia in those days and the company I was working for as a commissioning engineer had sold some equipment to an industry there, everything came under the banner of Skoda Industries, and I had to go there because the engineer who had started the ... Continue»
A lot of women love have their pussy licked as much as or even more than having a cock fill their cunt. And if you have a man who loves to go downtown every chance he can get, great! But what do you do if your man either won't do it, won't do it right or long enough or if he treats pussylicking as something obligatory and a mere prelude to sticking his cock up your twat? Well, don't just complain. As a guy who LOVES to give head, here's some advice about what you can do to get your man to adore eating you for as long as you can stand! First of all,
1. Initiate Sex:
Are you horny? Do ... Continue»
Want to perk up your love life? Well, then start from the kitchen with food that will give you the oomph factor, says an expert.
Hormone and anti-ageing specialist Cecilia Tregear says that sex plays an important role in making people look and feel younger.
Tregear, who is based at the Wimpole Skin Clinic in Harley Street, London, has worked with hundreds of couples over the course of her 25-year career.
"The couples who were having lots of regular sex almost always looked younger than those who weren't. They were also slimmer, fitter, healthier and happier. Sexual activity, in my vie... Continue»
lol when i first lost my virginity it was so cool. my cousin and b*o set it up all for me. it was one night in oshkosh wisconsin i went up to my cousin apartment and we were all chillin smoking and drinking and it was this thick redbone from millwakue wisconsin- boi was she thick. anyway everybody leave the room and we're talking.
She say, "let's see what you tawking about" and im like, "aight" so she say, "let's go in the room" and im like, "ight" so knwing us we go in the room and start kissing. im tipsy off the Amsterdam and her tongue all on my mine while were kissing and shit. lol ... Continue»
Are you drinking the water or the wave?
The midget, whose name was Markoff Chaney, was no relative of the famous Chaneys of Hollywood, but people did keep making jokes about that. It was bad enough to be, by the standards of the gigantic and stupid majority, a freak; much worse to be so named as to remind those big oversized clods of cinema's two most famous portrayers of monster-freaks. By the time the midget was fifteen, he had built up a detestation for ordinary mankind that dwarfed (he hated the word) the relative misanthropies of Paul of Tarsus, Clement of Alexandria or Swift of Dubli... Continue»
Half a mile away, a thin needle pointing toward the sky, stood the office of Pussycat magazine, and on the tenth floor Senior Editor Josh Dill was puzzling over the latest vacation memo from personnel. "This is the worst piece of idiocy I've ever seen, " he complained to his secretary. "It looks like it was written by a computer having a nervous breakdown. Listen to this gibberish:
'Half a man-day shall not be equal to half a day unless the man is actually in the office for the full day, or half of a full day, as the case may be. (This also applies to female employees. '
What t... Continue»
The Italian job 10
I must have dropped off to sl**p because the next thing I knew she was poking me in the ribs saying “come on sl**py, time to wake up” she said “I have some coffee for you” “what time is it” I said “10.00pm, we slept for 2 hours but I feel fantastic, you certainly managed to fill my void, thank you! not only for the sex but for making me feel like a real live woman again, the way your cock reacts to my nakedness is refreshing” she purred “you should get naked more often then” I said to her, she looked at me “are you saying you want to fuck me again?” she asked “ I don’t have... Continue»
The California Board of Education meeting once again ran late into the night. The stale air became stifling in the August evening, as the air conditioning units had been shut down over an hour ago. Tempers started to flare, as discussions had become as hot as the California sunshine. Arguments were heard and heard again with no end in sight.
"Look," said the chairman flatly, "we have to find a solution and soon. The dropout rate in the Southern California School system is at an all time high. Attendance rates are the worst in decades. Our federal funding is in jeopardy. If we don't fix this... Continue»
Pete and Joe have been friends all their lives. As such, they have shared quite a bit in the 30 or so odd years they have known each other. They shared a neighborhood. They shared a school. They shared friends. They shared the same d***ken babe the night of their first sexual experience. They now share an apartment, and in a few minutes they will be sharing a pizza.
"You did order the pizza," Pete asks quizzically, "right Joe?"
"Yea, I ordered the damn pizza."
"Extra sausage?" Pete asks.
"I got your sausage," says Joe sarcastically.
"What's taking Jose so long, he's usually... Continue»
We rested awhile, lying in the soft grass under a warm spring sun. It was my idea of a perfect place to fuck. I imagined how going to this place as a teen would have made me grow up a very different person.
Soon, we started the walk back toward camp. We stopped several times, and Max pointed out some of the interesting flowers and trees around us. At one stop, Max turned to face the side of the trail and started to pee into a bush. He held his cock casually in one hand and just let it flow.
“I wish I could do that,” I commented. I really had to pee. “I shoulda gone before w... Continue»
Man pretends to be a woman on an adult story/chat site...
SilkPanties22 (Fourth stab at humor in sex)
One of my newfound hobbies, so to speak, is reading and writing sex fantasy stories on a sex fantasy website. It is a site I stumbled across while innocently reading an article on sex fantasy.
Since joining the site I have found myself fascinated by the number and variety of sex fantasies. It has provided me with countless hours of entertainment. Reading people's fantasies is sort of a way to get into their minds unobserved. I even wrote a few of my own.
Reading t... Continue»
I'm sure this is a true story...for somebody...
Johnny And Mary, A True Story...
Now Johnny knew Mary since they were little tykes,
Running in the field, riding their bikes,
Like other little k**s, they stayed out all day,
Doing their chores, later they'll play,
Johnny and Mary went to school,
Tried real hard, act real cool,
Johnny noticed Mary started to grow real fine,
Nice firm breasts, big behin',
Johnny thought he'd take him a chance,
He asked Mary to the high school dance,
Mary said fine, pick me up at eight,
Dress real sharp, now don't be late,