Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 7

A little addition to In the Beginning

In 1974, Harry Chapin wrote a poem about an accident with a truck in Scranton, Pennsylvania. The truck was carrying a load of bananas and crashed. Chapin developed the incident into a kind of cult song that he would play at his live concerts. The song had an original ending that had no audience pull. He tried to amend it and make it more popular. After his first attempt, he played the song for his group and received the following reaction: "Harry, it sucks!" So, as Harry relates in the song, he went back to his lonely writers garret and tried out a new ending. So here I am, in my lonely writer... Continue»
Posted by bbbooom 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 188  |  
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Alarm cock

I'm not really sure where the dream ended and the reality began, but at some point, I do know that I woke up. It was 2 am and I was dreaming away, about unicorns or chipmunks or naugahyde, or what the fuck ever it is that people dream about that they can't remember the second they wake up, but tonight my dream took a turn. It started out as a light suggestion in the back of my mind of someone groping my breasts. Pretty quickly, that sensation turned and became more intense as I dreamed of someone tweaking and pulling at my nipples and I could feel my dreamself becoming aroused as the hands ... Continue»
Posted by 9carteam 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 447  |  
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The Word Fuck

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word "fuck". It is the one magical word which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate.

In language, "fuck" falls into many grammatical categories.
•It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John).
•It can be an action verb (John really gives a fuck), a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a fuck), an adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific fuck).
•It can also be used as an adje... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 210  |  
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My girlfriends mother part 4

My girlfriend’s mother, Part 4

Those of you who have been following my adventures with my girlfriend’s f****y will by now know all the characters so I will not go over them again if not then I would suggest that you go to the original and start there.

My next story has quite a few different facets that I hope you will enjoy.

It starts with one of my visits to service my girlfriends mother one rainy Wednesday afternoon, we were relaxing after the first frenzied session and were sitting up on the bed, we were both naked and she was sitting on my cock rocking gently, I was laying half ... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 1 year ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 1799  |  
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Theatrical....2

Theatrical … 2

You remember at the end of “Theatrical” how I told you that I had not seen the guy from the theatre since he fucked me in the disabled toilets and how much he meant to me, how I had been looking out for him, well!! I’ve seen him again,…… yes!!, in the city with his wife, I was walking through one of the arcades and I spotted him in front, he is really easy to notice because he is so tall, well my heart stopped when I realised it was him but then I thought “how can I make him see me, maybe he has been looking for me, I have got to make him see me, make eye contact” so I turned... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 1 year ago  |  Categories: Anal, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 187  |  
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The Italian job

The Italian job.

For many years I have worked abroad installing plant and equipment around the world, one such job was situated in a small village in Italy, I will not give the name to protect the innocent etc.
My lunch was normally a sandwich and a beer prepared by one of the factory ladies which I normally ate beside the machines that I was installing, there were a couple of people in the factory who could speak a few words of English but the company had got a young girl the daughter of one of the women in the factory who spoke good English to interpret for me, when working abroad I try ... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 1 year ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 264  |  
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Bar Pick Up (bbw)

(Short story I've got a longer one in the works I wrote
this back 2001 )

Gary Badcock was feeling a little drained from all the seminars,
he was attending the last three days. Now that he was finished with the
last one. He thought he'd stop in the hotel lounge for quick drink before
going home. Gary was lucky that all these seminars were in being held in his
home city.
It took a few minutes for his eyes to ajust to th darkness of the place.
He saw a few pleople in the place. As he sat down at the bar he glanced over
to dark hair lady a few stools down. He ordered a ... Continue»
Posted by MasterBill 1 year ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 467  |  
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The Italian Job 2

The Italian job 2
The installation progressed and although we did not have sex again that week, the lunch was still as good and as big, Roseanna stood smiling at me whilst I ate and would give me a small kiss as I left the kitchen, the following week Roseanna was on holiday so I was invited to go for lunch with Maria and Yvonne her mother, I was thankful that it was only a plate of spaghetti, it was about mid-week and Maria’s mother was not in the factory, Maria seemed a bit distressed and I thought that we would not be going for lunch when she approached me and said can you drive me home as ... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 261  |  
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The Italian job 3

The Italian job 3
I have told you about my adventures in the factory with Roseanna, Maria and Yvonne, this is a continuation of that adventure after I got over the shock of Maria teasing me about babies but I did continue to look after Maria and Yvonne sexually going for dinner at least once a week, taking her mother through the anal experience which she seemed to enjoy from the noise she made, I didn’t fuck Maria in the arse because for some reason I felt she was too special for me to spoil in this way and because of the way her mother was screaming when I fucked her arse, Maria could not qu... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 1 year ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 310  |  
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The Italian job 4

The Italian Job 4
As I opened my bedroom door I met a sight that made my cock jump again, the maid was in the room but she was bent over cleaning the coffee table, with her back to the door, I could not help noticing I assure you that I could see straight up her dress, she was wearing a thong that had pulled up right into her crack with her vulva lips on each side of it framing it, I could not resist such an apparent invitation, I came behind her, she had not seen or heard me because she had got her iPod on and her earphones in, I sank to my knees behind her, slid my hands around her thighs a... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 174  |  
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"I think I can"...and I did. Pt. 2

After getting some pizza and soda, I headed back home to think this over. If my thoughts were really controlling people then I have 3 basic questions. 1) How far can I push my ability? 2) How many people can I control at one time? And 3) How far can I push them? I wanted to bug the girl next door again, but she had something important in the morning. As I was walking into my apartment a very busty, full figured redhead steamed out of the front door. She nearly knocked me over in her haste and haughtily apologized. "Hold on beautiful. whats the rush?" She rolled her beautiful green eyes and sa... Continue»
Posted by dbam69 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 127  |  
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The Italian Job 5

She stirred and pressed the bell beside her bed, the maid came in carrying a bottle of water and a bottle of wine with glasses, she set them down on the coffee table and left snatching a brief glance in my direction, I moved to the bed and poured some water for both of us then handed Roseanna a glass she was quieter now and more settled, I put the sheet over her, leaned down and kissed her, she opened her eyes, they were glazed, she turned her face up to me and I kissed her on the mouth as her tongue came out seeking mine, my cock lurched and we were up and running again.

OK!!!!!, OK I’ll t... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 1 year ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 461  |  
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The I talian Job 6

The Italian Job 6
This story contains some reference to what can only be described as c***d abuse so if you are of a nervous disposition or hate anything of this nature then close it now but as it is a part of the overall tale then I must tell it, I apologise in advance if I offend anyone, it is not intentional.
I returned to the village and as suspected faced an inquisition from Maria, she wanted to know all about my weekend with Rosanna, what was her house like?, did she really live alone?, was it wild sex?, was anyone else there?, and last but not least did I prefer Roseanna to Maria or ... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 365  |  
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Masquerade invitation

Warning: This story is not greatly sexual in nature. you been warned



As I walked gracefully up the steps towards the grand manor. I looked at katherine a moment. she smiled walking along side me. The nervousness swelled as we came closer and closer to the mansion. I felt butterflys pulling katana's and slashing away at my insides. but then again, as I touched my tummy I remembered the corset redesigning my lungs. I pinched at my blue belled dress with designs of the ocean and seashells imprinted in its laces. Katherine wore a pink dress with cherry blossom flowers imprinted ... Continue»
Posted by QuietSoul 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  Views: 243  |  
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The Italian Job 7

The Italian Job 7
Earlier in the story I told you about my visit to Czechoslovakia and the fact that the people were so curious well! I am going to put this story in here as I have already mentioned it and it is a bit lighter than the last one and may I hope go some way to helping you to forgive me if I have offended any of you.
It was still Czechoslovakia in those days and the company I was working for as a commissioning engineer had sold some equipment to an industry there, everything came under the banner of Skoda Industries, and I had to go there because the engineer who had started the ... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 173  |  
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Get Your Man Into Eating Your Pussy


A lot of women love have their pussy licked as much as or even more than having a cock fill their cunt. And if you have a man who loves to go downtown every chance he can get, great! But what do you do if your man either won't do it, won't do it right or long enough or if he treats pussylicking as something obligatory and a mere prelude to sticking his cock up your twat? Well, don't just complain. As a guy who LOVES to give head, here's some advice about what you can do to get your man to adore eating you for as long as you can stand! First of all,

1. Initiate Sex:

Are you horny? Do ... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 540  |  
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How you can perk up your sex life

Want to perk up your love life? Well, then start from the kitchen with food that will give you the oomph factor, says an expert.

Hormone and anti-ageing specialist Cecilia Tregear says that sex plays an important role in making people look and feel younger.

Tregear, who is based at the Wimpole Skin Clinic in Harley Street, London, has worked with hundreds of couples over the course of her 25-year career.

"The couples who were having lots of regular sex almost always looked younger than those who weren't. They were also slimmer, fitter, healthier and happier. Sexual activity, in my vie... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 148  |  
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my butch hancock story:) kinda filthy but saving

lol when i first lost my virginity it was so cool. my cousin and b*o set it up all for me. it was one night in oshkosh wisconsin i went up to my cousin apartment and we were all chillin smoking and drinking and it was this thick redbone from millwakue wisconsin- boi was she thick. anyway everybody leave the room and we're talking.
She say, "let's see what you tawking about" and im like, "aight" so she say, "let's go in the room" and im like, "ight" so knwing us we go in the room and start kissing. im tipsy off the Amsterdam and her tongue all on my mine while were kissing and shit. lol ... Continue»
Posted by brickholder23 1 year ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 345  |  
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RAW: The Sex Magicians part 2

Are you drinking the water or the wave?

The midget, whose name was Markoff Chaney, was no relative of the famous Chaneys of Hollywood, but people did keep making jokes about that. It was bad enough to be, by the standards of the gigantic and stupid majority, a freak; much worse to be so named as to remind those big oversized clods of cinema's two most famous portrayers of monster-freaks. By the time the midget was fifteen, he had built up a detestation for ordinary mankind that dwarfed (he hated the word) the relative misanthropies of Paul of Tarsus, Clement of Alexandria or Swift of Dubli... Continue»
Posted by Johnnytames69 1 year ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 112  |  
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RAW: The Sex Magicians part 4; Why is a duck?


Half a mile away, a thin needle pointing toward the sky, stood the office of Pussycat magazine, and on the tenth floor Senior Editor Josh Dill was puzzling over the latest vacation memo from personnel. "This is the worst piece of idiocy I've ever seen, " he complained to his secretary. "It looks like it was written by a computer having a nervous breakdown. Listen to this gibberish:

'Half a man-day shall not be equal to half a day unless the man is actually in the office for the full day, or half of a full day, as the case may be. (This also applies to female employees. '

What t... Continue»
Posted by Johnnytames69 1 year ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 135  |  
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