Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 69

aunty takes good care of me(part 2)

aunty betty gives me her towling robe to wear.no point in getting you back into clothes especially with those casts.i put the robe on.it has her perfume and body smell.chanel perfume .dont you just love that smell.she puts on a white t-shirt dress.throws a chain belt round the middle.am i in heaven or what?.she looks like a goddess.

she helps me to the kitchen and i sit on a counter chair.i watch as she prepares the salad.steak and salad .you need to keep your strength up for what i have in mind she giggles.not quite the way i had things planned.but we will make do.

i ask what she means... Continue»
Posted by tonguehello 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 2776  |  
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Summer of '77

--A young man's introduction into CFNM--


Chapter 1


Young Adam was a very shy boy.

A little awkward, a little on the geeky side, Adam was very much into science and building models. He spent much time in his room.
By the time he was 18, Adam had won a scholarship to attend Indiana University. It was the summer of 1977, and Adam had a few weeks left with his step mom, Natalie, and his step s****r, Rachel.

Adam lost his father when he was very young, and spent his entire c***dhood growing up with two women in the household, and no males.
It was weird at times for him, but a ver... Continue»
Posted by jkd1111 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1250  |  
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Brian and Lois

One day Lois came home from the store,Peter was still at work,Chris and Meg were still at school and Stewie was fast asl**p in his bedroom.She called out for Brian I got some of your favorite treats at the store Brian!Come sit on my lap Brian,she petted him and brushed his fur,say Brian how would you like to use that long K9 tongue on my hungry red bush?"Would I Lois",I thought you'd never ask!Lois slid her pants off and tossed her panties on the floor.Ooh I'm getting so wet thinking about your tongue on my pussy Brian leaned in tasting the musky damp wetness between Lois's thighs,he began to ... Continue»
Posted by goo4u 2 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 1302  |  
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The XXX Olympiad

The XXX Olympiad

"And welcome to Day Two of the round-up show of the Olympiad here in
London," a smart suited gentleman said to the camera in a clear voice with
a cheesy smirk. "And what a programme we have lined up for you today. It's
been thrills, excitement and plenty of action."

His co-host, a beautiful young lady with bouncing brunette hair and an
infectious smile nodded. "There's some great events coming up," she agreed
and the host leant back on the red sofa.

"First a look at the medal table." A screen popped up next to the autocue
and he turned to his co-host. "So Br... Continue»
Posted by johndstories 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 654  |  
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How I Fucked My s****r-In-Law

Hello guys and girls. Myself Rishi (20 yrs) from luck now. I am a student. I am here to narrate the first & till now last encounter of my life. I hope U guys like the whole encounter .It was summer vacation. I was alone at home since everyone from my f****y had gone to native place. My mom requested our neighbor Sandhya to give me food for those 15 days.

Sandhya was a very good lady; by nature as well as by looks. She was just 25 years of age and looks stunning even after 1 year of his marriage. She was damn hot & sexy. Her smile is the most pleasant thing of his beauty. She came to live in... Continue»
Posted by harryhunk 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 2925  |  
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Carrots

Carrots
by jjcole©

A lost art, whittling. Passed on from father to son, though in my f****y it had skipped a generation. I learned it from my grandfather. My father thought of it as a waste of time. Granddad taught me to use it as a thinking tool.

I had been doing this it seemed all my life. I would go to the backyard with a block of soft wood and my sharpened pocketknife and work problems through my head. Sometimes I would just daydream. The thinking and daydreams would end when the block of wood had become a discernible object. Over the years I had become good enough that some of my w... Continue»
Posted by colejj 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 818  |  
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House Hunting Chrissie

CHRISSIE GOES HOUSE HUNTING

When I casually mentioned to one of clients during a session that I was toying with the idea of perhaps buying a house
and renting out my condo he needlessly took the time to remind that he owned one of the largest realty offices in
town. It must a salesman thing, not being able to leave business behind for an hour or two. You're no doubt
thinking to yourself "Hold on there Chrissie, don't forget you're a bit of salesperson yourself. After all your selling
your body to your clients every day." Let me clear something up for you. I've never had to sell my body... Continue»
Posted by chrissieCD 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  Views: 880  |  
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Embarassing story with mom

When I was 14 I wanted to go camping with some friends, mom eventually ended up driving us there and since we were only staying 2 days and boys only I didn't bother taking my PJ's.

When we ended up getting there it was night and after setting up my tent with me she decided to stay in my tent and drive home the next day. She didn't have a sl**ping bag so she agreed to stay in mine with me, when it came to bed time I was inside with no boxers on, she starts sliding into the sl**ping bag without telling me wearing a fucking SUMMER dress, the sl**ping bag was tight enough with just me but with... Continue»
Posted by W4rl0ck 1 year ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 21392  |  
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Only the British would get this one!..............



Mr Cadbury met Miss Rowntree on a Double Decker.

It was just After Eight.

They got off at Quality Street .

He asked her name. 'Polo, I'm the one with the hole' she said with a Wispa.

'I'm Marathon , the one with the nuts' he replied.

He touched her Cream Eggs, which was a Kinder Surprise for her.

Then he slipped his hand into her Snickers, which made her Ripple.

He fondled her Jelly Babies and she rubbed his Tic Tacs.

Soon they were Heart Throbs.

It was a Fab moment as she screamed in Turkish Delight.

But, 3 days later, his Sherbet Dip Dab started to itch.
... Continue»
Posted by papa61 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 230  |  
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THE ITALIAN.....

When reading this it must be read with a ITALIAN ACCENT....



One day I go to Toronto and stay in a bigga hotel.
I go down to eat soma breakfast. I tella the waitress I wanna two
pissa toast. She bring me only one piss.
I tella her I wanna two piss; she say, go to toilet - I say, you no
understand, I wanna two piss on my plate. She say you betta no piss on
plate, you sonna ma b*tch! I don't even know lady, she calla me somma
ma b*tch.
Then I go to pharmacia with a cougha. The man he give me candy ana
tell me fa cough! - I don't even know man ana he tella me FA COUGH!
Lat... Continue»
Posted by papa61 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 814  |  
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I Love my Job.

Little known fact. I happen to work in an adult store, yep, I sell dildos, vibes, porn, pipes and bongs for a living. The other night much like any other night i was working the closing shift as I always do, it gets slow in the middle of the week so i usually sit on my table chatting on here to pass the time. In walks this girl, brown hair and curvy. Wearing a very low cut shirt under her jacket. She looks around at the toys for a while then comes over to the counter where all the lube is kept in the glass display. I walk over on the other side of the counter and ask if she needed anything. "I... Continue»
Posted by smuttsy 10 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 4713  |  
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Fireman's Carnival

Fireman's Carnival

by Kathy B.



"Mark! I'm over here!" I waved my hands wildly, trying to get my husband's
attention. It was useless though; he couldn't hear me over the noise of the
crowd and he hadn't noticed our booth when he walked past.

"Hey, lady. Can we get some pies here or not?" A sweaty, overweight man
stood beside three sweaty, underweight k**s. Each c***d clutched a dollar bill
in their dirty little fists.

I took a last look at Mark's back, disappearing behind the Ferris Wheel.
Oh, well, he'd keep looking until he found me. I'd get his attention t... Continue»
Posted by tzrlvr 1 year ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 908  |  
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The Day I Became a Sex Slave


My name is Emma and this is the story of how I became a sex slave. I was to be turning thirteen in another 4 months. I have three older triplet b*****rs that are 17 years old. Also my mom and dad are very strict. If we don’t do our chores or get in trouble at school then they would spank us. It was always very humiliating because if we did something wrong then everyone, even guests would be gathered in the living room and whichever one of us was to be disciplined would roll two dice and the results of the roll will determine how many times each person in the room spanked you. Also everyone h... Continue»
Posted by drew1207 1 month ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 3261  |  
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My friend Jerry returns

Jerry and I had been friends since we were nine or 10 years old, we played together, and learned about girls together over the next couple years as we started puberty. Whenever we were alone together we would talk about girls and get so horny and masturbate together. I don't remember exactly when, but at some point we both became curious and began to wonder what it was like to touch another guys cock and so it began as we explored each other. We both found it very exciting to touch and play with each other and before long we were giving each other blow jobs. I really liked taking Jerry's soft ... Continue»
Posted by querico44 1 year ago  |  Categories: Gay Male, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1283  |  
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Late night suprise

Me and a few of my mates had gone round to another friends house for a night of beer and gaming .His name is simon and he has a very pretty gf called alice .She is about 5"3 and a size 12, brown hair , brown eyes and nice 32D tits.
Unfortunately she had gone out with her gf's so I couldn't ogle her tonight . Time was passing away and many games of Cod , halo and fifa had passed and a few beers downed .At about 1 O'clock in the morning we called it a night and began leaving , except I had driven some distance and had a few too many to drive home so Simon offered me his couch to sl**p on . I ac... Continue»
Posted by kc76 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 5011  |  
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SEX IN CHURCH

SITTING THERE IN CHURCH LISTENING TO THE PREACHER…I STARTED TO THINK ABOUT HOW MUCH FUN THAT I HAD THE NIGHT BEFORE WIT MY LOVE….IT STARTED ME GETTING ALL HOTT AND EXCITED….

I BEGIN TO FEEL THE MOISTURE BEGIN BETWEEN MY LEGS AND FEEL THE THROBBING AND TWITCHING THAT UNYQUE WAS DOING….OH YES UNYQUE IS THE NAME OF MY PUSSY FOR THOSE THAT DON’T KNOW YET…

SHE GIVES ME SIGNALS OF WHEN SHE WANT DICK IN HER LIFE….I BEGIN TO MOVE AROUND ON THE BENCH TRYING TO TAME AND QUIET HER DOWN….BUT THAT WASN’T HELPING ME OUT ONE BIT…

I GLANCED OVA MY RIGHT SHOULDER AND NOTICED THIS FINE AZZ GUY LOOKING ... Continue»
Posted by ladytrucka42 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1239  |  
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Small Penis Story

thank you for letting me know what you think of my little cock! :)
its such a turn on for me to hear another guy tell me how much smaller i am.

sometimes when i measure up i can get a full 4 inches but most of the time its a little under. Isn't having under 4 inches mean i have a tiny cock? i mean you're right, its pretty much 3.5 inches and that's very small.

My favorite locker room or shower room story is when i went to a public pool a few years back. I went with my GF at the time and her friends. we had just started dating and she found out that day that i have a litte penis! So gett... Continue»
Posted by smalldickfan 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo, Voyeur  |  Views: 1812  |  
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Sibling Sex


Teri finds a story about her on the Internet, it's about a girl and it's sexy. She realizes it's about her and then she realizes that her b*****r is the one who wrote it. (mf-teens, ff-teens, inc, 1st, mast, oral, rom)

***

"Yes, Mom... OK, Mom... Mom, quit worrying, we'll be okay," Teri said into the phone. "Mom, we're old enough to take care of ourselves. You and Daddy enjoy the cruise. We'll be okay, really. Enjoy it, it's your second honeymoon... have fun. We love you."

Teri's mother and father had planned this cruise as their 20th wedding anniversary gift to each other. When Aun... Continue»
Posted by jogj0308 7 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 8073  |  
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My first real time

Again – all my stories are absolutely true


2006 February, 22
about 11:40 am


Damn, I really hated sports when I was in school. Not that I don’t like sports in general, but considering I already had a quite big bosom when I was 16 it was really a pain when I had to jog or to make gymnastic exercises. If you can’t understand, just bind a pair of sand bags over your breast and try to jog properly. I think everyone can imagine the problem then. The best bra doesn’t help with that problem, my back starts to hurt and the breasts are bouncing wildly while running, but that’s not the biggest... Continue»
Posted by Bea69 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 1666  |  
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The Picture Album

A really good friend of mine, who occasionally roomed with me, had a breakup with his girl friend. After taking a majority of her personal items she asked that he return the last few items she left behind when she left. One important item she mentioned to him was a set of photo albums. While she didn’t want the entire album set, she did want to go thru them and choose the photos she wanted to take out of them. So, as his best friend I volunteered to be the arbitrator for the albums. We arranged to have her come to my place one evening and go thru the albums on a day that he was working so that... Continue»
Posted by bigsoftee 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 1633  |  
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