Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 69

Lovers Banging In Car

We knew it was not safe. At school, we loved being with each other, enjoying each other's company, cracking jokes and enjoying the time along with our studies. If we would get a chance, we would do some fondling and touching. The reason we couldn't take a chance again was because everyone had a doubt that we have crossed limits, and we didn't want to give our friends any chance of confirming their suspicion. Since we used to sit in the same horizontal row, even if the teacher was teaching, we were able to tease each other. Sometimes she would make some eye movements either pointing towards my ... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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I'm not Gay

I'm not gay, but my new flatmate is. His name is Mike (not his real name. His real name is Jayson.) I'm straight, and I've never really had much contact with gay guys. He seemed alright though, and a couple of nights after he moved in, we had a few drinks and a chat and got to know each other. He's really cool, and we have heaps in common. We've both just broken up with people, we both think relationships suck right now, and we both like white wine and Futurama. I think I'm gonna enjoy having a gay friend.
With no sex I keep waking up horny. A week ago I was in the shower, and I got out... Continue»
Posted by fed3rico 5 years ago  |  Categories: Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  
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honeymoon

A mother had 3 daughters. They were all getting married within a short time period. Because mom was a bit worried about how their sex lives would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.

The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but "Nescafe." Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to the kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar. It said: "Good till the last drop." Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.

The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after th... Continue»
Posted by bluechaser31 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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No longer a virgin...details of the following mont

See http://xhamster.com/user/querico44/posts/31230.html for the original story.

During the months following my 13th bday and the experience I had with Lisa my sitter popping my cherry, my Mom began to wonder why I always wanted her to call Lisa whenever I needed a sitter. She asked me why Lisa was my favorite and no one else would do. I tried to explain that Lisa was so good at entertaining me and she was always happy to play any of the games I liked with me. Mom said it was nice to know we were able to have so much fun together and that we got along so well, she must be a very good sitter ... Continue»
Posted by querico44 5 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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The Italian job

The Italian job.

For many years I have worked abroad installing plant and equipment around the world, one such job was situated in a small village in Italy, I will not give the name to protect the innocent etc.
My lunch was normally a sandwich and a beer prepared by one of the factory ladies which I normally ate beside the machines that I was installing, there were a couple of people in the factory who could speak a few words of English but the company had got a young girl the daughter of one of the women in the factory who spoke good English to interpret for me, when working abroad I try ... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 4 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Quid Pro Quo = SSBBW

It had been about fifteen minutes sitting in my car before she arrived. I was kinda nervous sitting in my vehicle in the parking lot of a shady motel .. mid day and all.

But I was desparate not to end up in jail for fraud and other charges including but not limited to Statutory **** (More on that later) .. Melody knew that and she was gonna exploit that fact to death.

I was her slave .. so to speak.

I was lost in thought when the sound of crunching gravel distracted me. I looked out of the passenger side window to see her Honda Civic pulling up two cars over.

I cringed as I... Continue»
Posted by mondotoken 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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accidentally licked girlfriends s****r

So I had been dating this pretty blonde girl for a while. She was 5'1" and maybe 100 pounds. She was very petite but very pretty. She had a younger s****r that was about her size but was even prettier. She was a gymnast so her body was really tight. We would go see her perform and I'd always fantasize about her tight, firm body in that tight uniform. It was Christmas time her entire f****y was staying at her house for a few nights. I was there with them. We had to sl**p all the guys in one room and girls in the other. My girlfriend loved having sex where people could see us or w... Continue»
Posted by hrdnhrny20 6 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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A to Z Fuckstories – E is for Ending Friday

So, shortly after Catherine got fucked in her van for two hours, She drove me back to school so I could go home. I got home about 6, about ten minutes before my Mom. Great timing, so I wouldn’t have to explain anything.

I ate supper, then retired to my room to reflect on the trip to the park and subsequent sex in a van. Catherine’s Double D tits were firmly engraved in my memory, as was her tight ass and willingness to suck and fuck. I’d be revisiting her church sometime.

I pulled my cock out to jackoff to my memory, when my phone buzzed. I almost ignored it, but I’m glad I didn’t. It w... Continue»
Posted by jurrjens 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Mary A Desired Older Woman

(Could the mature, attractive wife be tempted)

But I do love him, Bert. We have a comfortable life, lovely c***dren, a nice home and I know he works hard, but........!' and Mary tailed off from what she was really wanting to say.

Mary was 49 and had spent her whole life living in the little village in Hampshire, down a tiny, leafy lane that led to a small bay by the sea. She had been married for nearly 30 years, and had inherited the little bungalow from her parents when they had died, so she had lived at the same address for most of her life, apart from about 10 years when she first got... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 4 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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1st Time I had sex! - True Story

I thought I would give another story for everyone. It's kinda a short story but I enjoyed every minute of it. Once again, THIS IS TRUE! I love reading true encounters and I love telling you about mine...

My high school sweetheart and I came back from a party at her friends house. Since there was some alcohol at the party she decided to partake in a beverage or two. As we entered her house she stops me and starts stroking me in the foyer. Mind you, it's around 11:30pm - her curfew - and usually her parents kinda keep a keen ear to her coming home. So I am nervous because all her paren... Continue»
Posted by ffjester 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Good girl gone bad, my first masturbation.

I am a young girl going to college and working part time tutoring k**s. I was always curious about sex, but I've never try it before. Since my hormones was changing, that makes me even more horny sometime. Here's my first experiment with masturbation. On a Friday night, after watching some porn movies, my pantie was so wet I couldn't resist touching my slippery pussy. Since I don't have any toy, I thought of something crazy and run to the kitchen. There I take out a cold bottle of water, then rub it against my wet pussy, wet on wet. I start to moan. I guess this is what they call pleasure. i g... Continue»
Posted by bunnyboothang 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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My girfriends mother part2

My girlfriend’s mother ……part 2

You remember that in the first part I was going out with a girl called Gillian and that I had fucked both her mother and her aunt in a session of debauchery that lasted all afternoon, if you have not read it I suggest you read it first because this second part is not as long but has a lot of strong connections to the first apart from the link of Gillian and her mother.

I made regular visits to the house to service the two ladies, Gillian’s mum had to be on a Wednesday afternoon because of her working in the shop and Wednesday was the only day she got off a... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 4 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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The surrogate


Milly inseminated

"Ah Mr and Mrs Jameson. I'm Drss. Dragonmage, but my friends call me Misty."
"Hi I'm Don and this is my good wife Melinda."
The handshakes were firm and purposeful.
"Please take a seat, while I explain the procedure to you."

She waved towards two chairs across her desk. "Would you like a coffee before we start?" "I'm too excited for coffee I'm afraid." Melinda giggled.
Drss.Dragonmage smiled. "That's perfectly natural, after all it is your first time. Now as you already know we aim to ensure that the host is as perfect a match as possible. Which is why w
... Continue»
Posted by MzTania 4 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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MRS BROWN YOU HAVE A LOVELY DAUGHTER

It was Saturday morning and I woke up as usual, horny with a hard-on. I thought about jerking off as I showered but decided not to since I was going to go see my girlfriend soon. She was always ready to fuck and I could hold off till we were together. I arrived at her house and rang the doorbell. In a few moments her mother opened the door, I said "Hello Mrs. Brown, how are you this morning? She said "Hi Roger, I'm doing OK. How are you?" I said "I'm good, I'm here to see your lovely daughter Janet. Thought we would go out for lunch and maybe a movie." She invited me inside and closed the door... Continue»
Posted by querico44 5 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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The First Time Together

The first time I was fortunate enough to pull down his pants, as clear as day I remember gasping in ecstasy 'You never told me you were so big '. Not only was it a generous size, but a handsome one at that, of really good girth and just perfect in my eyes. I felt like I'd stumbled across some treasure and now that I found it, X would mark the spot and it wouldn't go out of my sight again.

'I don't know when it would have come up in general conversation darling during the time we've spent as friends'. 'Well we've stepped over the friendship zone now and the only way to go is forward' I tho... Continue»
Posted by kinkyirishcouple69 9 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Girlfriend's 1st Bi experience/My first 3sum

This is a story about our first time with another woman.


It was NYE and we were both feeling pretty good. I had already filled up her pussy with 4 loads of cum during the day/evening. We went over to the bar at the resort where we were staying for the NYE party. As with any party, there was a lot of drinking and dancing. Not long after midnight, an older woman (47) started to grind on my gf. My gf has always been curious about being with another woman, especially an older one. I could tell that my gf was starting to get turned on and not long after they started dancing, they excused... Continue»
Posted by rickhaynes9 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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THE MYSTERY OF THE BATON ROUGE

The name's Jack Wayne. I'm a private detective. It all began on a
sweltering Friday in June. I was sitting behind my desk thumbing
through a paperback of "9 & 1/2 Weeks" and sipping a glass of
bourbon when my secretary stuck her head into the office.

"Hey, Jack." she said in an annoying tone. "Jack, put the book
down for a minute!"

"What is it with you?" I growled. "You always butt in right when
I'm getting to the best page, Betty!"

"Excuse me for interrupting your reading hour!" she replied,
tossing ... Continue»
Posted by meatloaf90 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Wasted Beauty

So i was walking home from a house party with my friend quite recently and as we was about to turn down the alleyway towards our area of residence we noticed two women on the side of the road just up from the alleyway. Being extremely pissed we thought it would be a great idea to as a laugh ask them to follow us. We walked into the alleyway only to turn round and see both of them slowly following us, we knew ful well what they was, the scum of the sex industry, street hookers addicted to some sort of d**g. Nevertheless in our cuurrent state we found the situation hilarious and shouted up to th... Continue»
Posted by Love_To_Eat_Pussy 5 years ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Don't trust an online Mistress!!

Sorry for the spelling but I'm just a dumb sissy blond bimbo!

Don't trust an online Mistress!!

As I write this my cock is in a pink chastity cage, but Miss says I'm not to call it a cock now. I have to call my cock, my sissy clitty. I used to have a big ish cock, when hard just over 6 inches long and real thick with a huge vain. Now my clitty is locked up, with the smallest pink chastity cage imported from China. Mistress D shows it to anyone who will look!


When they laugh at me I have tried to tell them that before I was caged my clitty was above average, they just laugh even... Continue»
Posted by DogAndOwnersCdBitch 7 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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ROADSIDE ATTRACTION--Part 1

Lita had been driving across the country for hours and she was exhausted. All she wanted was a stiff drink and a good night's sl**p. She drove a couple more miles before coming across a bar on one side of the road, and a motel on the other. "Perfect!" she said out loud. She pulled into the parking lot, turned off the engine and got out of the car, locking it behind her.

As soon as she walked in the bar, Lita noticed two things....great music and nothing but women. She thought, 'A lesbian bar? No way!' She had always wanted to go to a lesbian bar, so she was rather excited. She sat d... Continue»
Posted by squirtlover33 4 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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