Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 69

Just like my nipples...

"Do you like watching me?"

"I know I shouldn't... but I can't help it. You're so lovely."

"It's alright, really. I can tell you enjoy it by that smile on your face."

"Alright... now I'm embarrassed..."

"Please don't be. I like it when you look at me..."

"Really?"

"Yes... especially when you're looking like you're trying to not get caught..."

"I thought you didn't want me to be embarrassed..."

"I don't... I want you to look at me..."

"Really?"

"Yes. Really."

"You do look very nice..."

"Are you trying to imagine me naked?"

"Wha...?"

"You're hard, aren't ... Continue»
Posted by mustbtuesday 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 939  |  
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Idle Jack

An old, old tale of Lady Jane
Of how she lost her honour.
And how the lad called Idle Jack
Inflicted shame upon her.

Young Jane, a pure and simple lass,
Of years just sweet eighteen
With hair of gold and eyes so blue
And skin like golden cream.

Whene're she walked around the town
The local lads would sigh
And all their trouser fronts would bulge
As this fair lass passed by.

But Lady Jane was innocent
And never knew the score
She just assumed the bulge was naught
And knew not what it's for.

No... Continue»
Posted by pictureman645 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 373  |  
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The day I died.

It was quite balmy when I left the office, there was a slight breeze cooling as it blew up my bare legs and through between the buttons of my summer frock. I crossed of the path and away from the traffic to walk home through the woods. I had played here as a c***d, running with my friends, climbing trees and skinny dipping in the pool when I was so young it didn't matter.
Probably because of my familiarity with the place I didn't worry about being on my own in such a secluded place, I was just enjoying the sun on my back and the breeze on my legs. The cooling breeze brought out goos... Continue»
Posted by celcus 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 333  |  
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FUCKED-OVER AGAIN

Have you ever been with someone with such an addiction that they would lie, cheat and be prepared to lose it all? Well as it is said..what have I got myself into Ollie lol......this can't even call it a man is addicted to men, little girls, girls, old bags, anything that is connected to porn lmaooooo and not that I am drop dead beautiful but close lol.....ARE THERE ANY REAL MEN OUT THERE???? that would be a question to ponder.......why a person's hand should be sore and he has or had a person....wow what a loss huh.......Anyone got an idea????... Continue»
Posted by fucked-over 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 317  |  
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chav lads, my arse, pussy get fucked

I got all tarted up for some sex as my twat was wet and begging for cock. I wore fishnet tights, short red skirt, red knickers, big red heels and a red tight crop top with no bra on. I had my big hoop earrings in and wore red lipgloss and lots of make-up in general. I went around to the back of the spar and met up with Jason, Nicky and Jake.

Jake who lives near me from the Chav sex trade story was there. He’d fucked me a few times when his mum and dad weren’t in at his house after the Chav sex trade story but he was at back of spar this night. Jake is very sexy and can cum 3 times easy whe... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 446  |  
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My Week of Hell. (Week 1 of 7)

This isn't a sex story per se, so if you are looking for a classic son fucks mom chronicle, there are plenty to choose from here. I would know. ;)




As some of you know, last Tuesday was Marti Gras, or Fat Tuesday. A day celebrating debauchery and gluttony in all of its glory. A day of celebration rivaling New Year's Eve in scope and magnitude. In short, a epic day of partying and sex.


But the day after Marti Gras is the polar opposite of everything that Marti Gras stands for. Ash Wednesday. The beginning of the Lent period of fasting and repentance, if you belong to several major... Continue»
Posted by BigJ0526 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 448  |  
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The Adventures of Teri Sue

Teri Sue walked down the yellow brick-road wearing her trademark red-riding hood and carrying a basket with cake and wine for her grand-aunt. She was in a rather good mood as the sun shone on her smiling face with its rosy cheeks. The weather was perfect for the delighting trip she had been looking forward to for so long.
Her shoes, also the same color red as her hood, clapped on the yellow bricks in an upbeat rhythm and you could tell how full of energy she was having just started on her trip. She felt like singing and started humming a melody that she made up as she went along. Her a****l c... Continue»
Posted by ButtyBratToughL 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 391  |  
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Are you gay?

Are you gay?
For the record, I’m not. If I was, I’m not sure that I would admit it, but I like to think I would.

Who knows?

The point is, I’m not, but I get accused of being gay all the time.

Most of it is either just jealousy from weak-minded guys, or wishful thinking from gay dudes, but it does come up.

The funniest example so far is this email I got the other day.

What’s really funny to me is when guys say that they KNOW I’m gay.

Now, I’ve met some gay dudes that were in the closet, and I actually know at least one right now. I guess if you live in a real conservative pla... Continue»
Posted by a_chord90 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 429  |  
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Preplanned (Rap)ing Drama

It was an unwanted occurrence for me, about which I have never even imagined. The incident occurred most recently and I was totally unready for facing such type of situation. Though the whole situation was pre-planned and just a drama, nothing else. The heroin of this drama was my house owner’s middle aged wife Sulekha Bhabi. I have rented this apartment in March 2010, my flat is at the ground floor. From the very beginning when I first met Sulekha Bhabi, I attracted to her liquid eyed lusty sight. When she stares at my eyes, I seemed she can see the bottom of my mind. I also think that she is... Continue»
Posted by matterboy 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 539  |  
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An incident with my neighbour

What I am about to write happened just this morning. I can't possibly tell anyone, but writing about it on here will at least get it off my chest.

This morning, while I was sl**ping, my neighbour phoned my mother (I live with my parents) and asked if she could use our shower to wash her hair as her water supply had been cut off ready for repair work in her bathroom. My mother agreed, and so my neighbour came to use our bathroom, which is right next to my bedroom. Here's a short description of my neighbour: she is late-40s, below average height, quite overweight, short red hair, she isn't t... Continue»
Posted by Plastic-Bird 2 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 2906  |  
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young adventure

In our town back when I was a young teenager there was a man who used to frequent the Gent’s toilets. Today he would probably be considered a paedophile or at least a gay sex maniac. The Gent’s toilet was a dark lit building with very small windows up near the roof standing on the corner of a side street which was a cul-de-sac. There were individual old fashioned porcelain toilet stalls. The place used to have a very strong urine smell no matter when you went in there.
The man used to be standing facing into one of the stalls in the corner. When my pal and I or anyone went in he ... Continue»
Posted by trickydicky111 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 420  |  
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OAP Sperm Count

An 85-year-old visited his doctor who requested the old guy take a sperm count test as part of his physical exam.

The doctor gave the old man a specimen jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.'

The next day the old guy goes back to the doctor's office and hands over the jar, which was as clean and empty as it was the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, Doctor, it's like this, first I tried with my right hand, but nothing happened. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing happened.

'Then I asked... Continue»
Posted by sjroche1509 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 962  |  
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A Teacher's Pet

In 2004, when I was 16 I started writing erotic stories. This is the very first one I wrote, about a teacher I had the hots for. Enjoy....

I am a 6th form student doing A level chemistry. Twice a week I am taught by Mrs Pen. From the first moment I saw her I was obsessed with her. She is 5'7" with a good figure and nice round breasts and a nice firm ass. I would often rush home to wank over the idea of slamming my cock into her pussy. On day, late in my second year, my dream came true.

I came in for a lesson just before my final exam to find I was the only student. Mrs Pen didn't ... Continue»
Posted by simonenglish 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1359  |  
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Pilot and lesbian

An old Marine Pilot sat down at the Starbucks, still wearing his old USMC flight suit and leather jacket and ordered a cup of coffee.

As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the pilot and asked, 'Are you a real pilot?'

He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life flying planes, first Stearmans, then the early Grummans... flew a Wildcat and Corsair in WWII, and later in the Korean conflict, Banshees and Cougars. I've taught more than 260 people to fly and given rides to hundreds, so I guess I am a pilot, and you, what are you?

She said, 'I'm a les... Continue»
Posted by semper-et-ubique 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 430  |  
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rekhaaaaaa

I had just landed up my first job in Mumbai (immediately after college) and had moved into a one bedroom flat (apartment) in Andheri. It was a f****y friend’s flat and I was in the process of purchasing it from them (with financial help from my parents and Bank) as my parents had moved to native place to spend their old years. My flat was on the fifth floor and there were four flats per floor in our section. I am 5’11”, well built, exercises regularly (daily) and 25 years of age. The excitement of the job, new flat, living independently, were all too much for a young excited ... Continue»
Posted by deepuin 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 477  |  
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Fucking a total stranger

Was chatting to a guy I met on a swingers web site another story altogether on why I was on there, we exchanged numbers and the naughty texts were flying back and forth I made him ring ne once in his car while he was on dinner for work, I was sprawled on my bed naked and very wet I don't think he realised at first until my breathing got heavier he asked if he could listen to see how wet I was so I put the phone towards my pussy and proceeded to finger fuck myself the feeling someone listening was electric from that day I guess u can say I was hooked on phone sex, poor bloke listened till I eve... Continue»
Posted by Hollysuckscox 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 1329  |  
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Hospital Happy Ending

You see all these ads on TV about heart attacks and wonder will it happen to you. You never know! I was having what I thought was a bit of indigestion so I decided to go to the local hospital and have them take a look at me. I usually would just take some antacid for something like that but I felt like this time I was passed that stage of treatment and needed a more in depth treatment. So I drove myself to the hospital and checked in. Once there I sat in the waiting room for about 15 minutes and waited my turn. When they finally called me I went in, got on a gurney and gave the nurse the rundo... Continue»
Posted by bigsoftee 1 year ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 970  |  
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Hardonis Academy P-12

Chapter 12, Third Day


The three new friends met at breakfast the next day, they were all smiling. Even though they had not had sex with each other, they seemed sure of forming a tight bond. The Academy was centered on the Hall building, which included the dining area, library, club rooms, student council and newspaper offices, and the theater. To the East were the two dorm buildings. To the West was the sports complex, which included the medical office. To the north was the administration building, witch included the guidance councilor’s office. To the South was the large square ... Continue»
Posted by VictorL4fun 2 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 378  |  
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First time cheating and getting deep-throated

My names james, im in my early twenties and i figured id tell contribute a story of mine =)

This story is TRUE

I was 17 year old. I had been with a few girls, and gotten my share of blowjobs from the girls at the catholic school i attended.
One of the last girls i had been with my junior year, this girl christina, her mother had gotten remarried at the beginning of the school year, and her new father and steps****rs would be moving in and starting at our school.

Christina was a total babe in highschool. Petite latina girl with long brown hair, about 5'4" 125 athletic bui... Continue»
Posted by jedimindtrickery 10 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 3289  |  
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Most Excellent (but somehow ever more paranoid) XH

I promised you our own story when we met here through profiles on XHamster. A funny thing happened, worth sharing with readers here, and, this is our story.

Adventuring began easily, the XHamster way, finding profiles, posting comments, messaging about one another commenting on profiles. Cyber sexing is the second reason after video viewing everyone hopes for when we connected here. You were so into the intensity of our exchanges that I easily ignored the long gaps in time for your side of the messages to come across the internet. Maybe a more paranoid person would have t... Continue»
Posted by latch 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 9313  |  
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