Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 68

The dangers of Naughty Skyping

'What was I thinking, fucking stupid cow'. Yes I am talking about me, I walked into it, eyes wide closed, as the saying goes, but what fuck, sit back and let me tell you and see what you think, I promise I will be open, honest, and get right down into the knitty gritty, I wont miss anything out, then you will see just how much of a slut I am.
I was home while my husband was away on a job on an oil rig in India, we had been separated for five weeks and he was due home the following week, but had just informed me by email, he might be delayed as finding men were getting difficult so we would ha... Continue»
Posted by MarieL 3 years ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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on the farm, by prettygirl

When I was growing up I would spend my summers on my grandparents farm in NC. Its where I had the greates time of my life, the first time i saw the Bull and his balls that hung down to the ground. I was surprized he didn't kick them when he walk, and when I saw him get hard before doing his thing with the cows I almost fainted. My grandma saw me and laughed, she said don't worry not all men are that big thank god she added. I saw the pigs, goats and etc do it. The farm has a small river behind the barn where the chicken coop is. The strangest relationship I saw was my pet cat I calle... Continue»
Posted by prettygirl 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Headteacher's Punishment


As I lay on the cold hard pale blue tiled floor of the school's store-room, tied up helplessly by Kaylee and her mean little gang, with the humiliating 'Fart in My Face' sign she left by my head, I was visited and farted on by lots of the school teachers. Lucky for me, they were only the female teachers. I smelt lots of flavourful womanly farts that day, and it was finally coming towards the end of the school day.

The end of my embarrassing torture, or so I thought...

The very last visitor came into the store-room.

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!" The old cow yelled. It was my headte... Continue»
Posted by azid619 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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I fucked my girlfriends mom :)

ad a really good day today its about 12:45am and im exhausted from fucking my girlfriend 30 minutes ago but now that shes sl**ping ima tell you what happened today.My day started from 6am it was hot and I work as a Welder.We work to 12 to 14 hour shifts but did 12 got outta at 6pm and thought I call one of my girlfriends name Gina (Oh and just so you know I have 3 girlfriends but shes my # 1 ) anyways I wanted to see if she wanted to get together hangout at her pad she told me great idea baby just go to my house right aftet work and wait for me till 8pm theres leftover in the fridge case you g... Continue»
Posted by Guts3177 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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How I Fucked My Sister And Her Best Friend On A Co


My name is Roy this is my first story so please forgive me if i do any mistake any where

Our f****y moved to a new big house in the state it was big but not so big at least i and my s****r had separate rooms to ourselves i was the elders of the c***dren and at that time that this story happened, i was 20 while my s****r Kim was 18 years.

In our new neighborhood, i had no friends but my s****r had this friend called Kit who lived next to our house. Kit was the same age with my s****r she had a very sexy body which i always a
... Continue»
Posted by bava12 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Allison

Allison was so excited! She slowly pulled on her thong,
then her cotton shorts, then her cut off tee shirt
which barely covered her braless 32B breasts. She
polished her toe ring and applied pink polish to her
toenails and put on her little gold ankle bracelet.
Then she combed out her shoulder length blond hair and
walked to her full length mirror.

"Hot!" Allison exclaimed as she looked at her tan,
scantily clad 13 year old nymphet body. She was about
to meet her first online boyfriend, a sexy 14 year old
named Kyle. Allison loved to tease boys online, posting
suggestive... Continue»
Posted by drew1207 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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A tube full of custard

"I wish they wouldn't fucking do that."

"What's the problem?"

"The video..."

"Yeah... so?"

"I just hate when they do that."

"You seemed to be getting well into it."

"I was! The women were gorgeous and the guy was hot. Some of the things there were pretty wild. But I hate it when they have a really good, steamy scene going, everybody's enjoying themselves, and then they end it as soon as the guy cums."

"You lost me..."

"Were we watching the same video?"

"Well... I was watching you quite a bit too..."

"Don't get cheeky... seriously! Is that where the male mind goes?... Continue»
Posted by mustbtuesday 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Mothers milk

Mothers milk

Roby had just turned sixteen when this happened. He didn’t know what was next? He quickly was making his way down the hall to his room. He lay on his bed, butterflies churning in his stomach. He really wasn’t sure what was going on, but his body was telling him something. For the first time he had seen his mother not in the way he always had growing up, but in a much different way. He meant she aroused him. Yeah, he was sexually excited. He began to wonder if there was something wrong with him lusting after his own mother like this. He didn’t know.On the other hand, sinc... Continue»
Posted by nana414 5 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Syd and Meg (fantasies do come true)

SALLLLL! , IMMM HOOMEEEE!" the loud shrieking voice shattered the silence of quiet Saturday afternoon. Meg slammed the door and trotted across the living room in her open toe high heels, unloading an assortment of expensive looking shopping bags. "Thats funny... heyyyy! is anyone home?" her voice boomed up the stairs into the second floor rooms disrupting her 16 year old son from his daily masturbation rituals. He lay naked on his bed trying to block out her loud cries stroking his young cock. ( shut up.. will ya) he thought starting to get frustrated with her questions interrupting his tango ... Continue»
Posted by Johnnytames69 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Lovers Banging In Car

We knew it was not safe. At school, we loved being with each other, enjoying each other's company, cracking jokes and enjoying the time along with our studies. If we would get a chance, we would do some fondling and touching. The reason we couldn't take a chance again was because everyone had a doubt that we have crossed limits, and we didn't want to give our friends any chance of confirming their suspicion. Since we used to sit in the same horizontal row, even if the teacher was teaching, we were able to tease each other. Sometimes she would make some eye movements either pointing towards my ... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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I'm not Gay

I'm not gay, but my new flatmate is. His name is Mike (not his real name. His real name is Jayson.) I'm straight, and I've never really had much contact with gay guys. He seemed alright though, and a couple of nights after he moved in, we had a few drinks and a chat and got to know each other. He's really cool, and we have heaps in common. We've both just broken up with people, we both think relationships suck right now, and we both like white wine and Futurama. I think I'm gonna enjoy having a gay friend.
With no sex I keep waking up horny. A week ago I was in the shower, and I got out... Continue»
Posted by fed3rico 5 years ago  |  Categories: Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  
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honeymoon

A mother had 3 daughters. They were all getting married within a short time period. Because mom was a bit worried about how their sex lives would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.

The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but "Nescafe." Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to the kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar. It said: "Good till the last drop." Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.

The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after th... Continue»
Posted by bluechaser31 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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No longer a virgin...details of the following mont

See http://xhamster.com/user/querico44/posts/31230.html for the original story.

During the months following my 13th bday and the experience I had with Lisa my sitter popping my cherry, my Mom began to wonder why I always wanted her to call Lisa whenever I needed a sitter. She asked me why Lisa was my favorite and no one else would do. I tried to explain that Lisa was so good at entertaining me and she was always happy to play any of the games I liked with me. Mom said it was nice to know we were able to have so much fun together and that we got along so well, she must be a very good sitter ... Continue»
Posted by querico44 5 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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The Italian job

The Italian job.

For many years I have worked abroad installing plant and equipment around the world, one such job was situated in a small village in Italy, I will not give the name to protect the innocent etc.
My lunch was normally a sandwich and a beer prepared by one of the factory ladies which I normally ate beside the machines that I was installing, there were a couple of people in the factory who could speak a few words of English but the company had got a young girl the daughter of one of the women in the factory who spoke good English to interpret for me, when working abroad I try ... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 4 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Quid Pro Quo = SSBBW

It had been about fifteen minutes sitting in my car before she arrived. I was kinda nervous sitting in my vehicle in the parking lot of a shady motel .. mid day and all.

But I was desparate not to end up in jail for fraud and other charges including but not limited to Statutory **** (More on that later) .. Melody knew that and she was gonna exploit that fact to death.

I was her slave .. so to speak.

I was lost in thought when the sound of crunching gravel distracted me. I looked out of the passenger side window to see her Honda Civic pulling up two cars over.

I cringed as I... Continue»
Posted by mondotoken 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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accidentally licked girlfriends s****r

So I had been dating this pretty blonde girl for a while. She was 5'1" and maybe 100 pounds. She was very petite but very pretty. She had a younger s****r that was about her size but was even prettier. She was a gymnast so her body was really tight. We would go see her perform and I'd always fantasize about her tight, firm body in that tight uniform. It was Christmas time her entire f****y was staying at her house for a few nights. I was there with them. We had to sl**p all the guys in one room and girls in the other. My girlfriend loved having sex where people could see us or w... Continue»
Posted by hrdnhrny20 6 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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A to Z Fuckstories – E is for Ending Friday

So, shortly after Catherine got fucked in her van for two hours, She drove me back to school so I could go home. I got home about 6, about ten minutes before my Mom. Great timing, so I wouldn’t have to explain anything.

I ate supper, then retired to my room to reflect on the trip to the park and subsequent sex in a van. Catherine’s Double D tits were firmly engraved in my memory, as was her tight ass and willingness to suck and fuck. I’d be revisiting her church sometime.

I pulled my cock out to jackoff to my memory, when my phone buzzed. I almost ignored it, but I’m glad I didn’t. It w... Continue»
Posted by jurrjens 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Mary A Desired Older Woman

(Could the mature, attractive wife be tempted)

But I do love him, Bert. We have a comfortable life, lovely c***dren, a nice home and I know he works hard, but........!' and Mary tailed off from what she was really wanting to say.

Mary was 49 and had spent her whole life living in the little village in Hampshire, down a tiny, leafy lane that led to a small bay by the sea. She had been married for nearly 30 years, and had inherited the little bungalow from her parents when they had died, so she had lived at the same address for most of her life, apart from about 10 years when she first got... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 4 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Good girl gone bad, my first masturbation.

I am a young girl going to college and working part time tutoring k**s. I was always curious about sex, but I've never try it before. Since my hormones was changing, that makes me even more horny sometime. Here's my first experiment with masturbation. On a Friday night, after watching some porn movies, my pantie was so wet I couldn't resist touching my slippery pussy. Since I don't have any toy, I thought of something crazy and run to the kitchen. There I take out a cold bottle of water, then rub it against my wet pussy, wet on wet. I start to moan. I guess this is what they call pleasure. i g... Continue»
Posted by bunnyboothang 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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My girfriends mother part2

My girlfriend’s mother ……part 2

You remember that in the first part I was going out with a girl called Gillian and that I had fucked both her mother and her aunt in a session of debauchery that lasted all afternoon, if you have not read it I suggest you read it first because this second part is not as long but has a lot of strong connections to the first apart from the link of Gillian and her mother.

I made regular visits to the house to service the two ladies, Gillian’s mum had to be on a Wednesday afternoon because of her working in the shop and Wednesday was the only day she got off a... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 4 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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