Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 68
Introduction: A joke for the ppl who never heard it before.
Bob works hard and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym. His wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Bob! How ya doin?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh no," says Bob. "He's on my bowling team."
When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, "How... Continue»
PEEP SHOW PERFORMANCE by Giorgio Canoli
On their way home from dinner George suggested he and Kim stop at a local adult toy store. "How come were making this pit stop"? she asked. He replied, "I noticed your rabbit isn't as fast as he used to be", "the tortoise can actually beat him now". They chuckled as they exited the vehicle.
This wasn't no ordinary porno shop. It was the home depot of erotica. They wandered through each aisle, Kim's pussy started getting moist and she could see George's cock growing through his pants. Kim quipped "Be careful with that loaded gun in your poc... Continue»
I am over 50 and even though I'm in decent shape, I'm STILL over 50 and thought that I would never get another chance to fuck a young sweet teen again.
One day, a buddy of mine and I had just come back from a hunting trip and I dropped him off at his house. While there, I saw his young daughter for the first time since she was little and she had grown into a hot little thing with tiny tits, long legs and that sweet little face you see in high school all the time.
I spoke with her a bit while her dad poured a few drinks and just before I left, she gave me a big hug and a little kiss on
We lived in Kentucky and frequented a nudist club in Southern Ohio. We met many interesting people while sunning ourselves. Talking and lots of smiles were common and being naked the talking and smiling were open and sincere.
We both noticed a couple that tickled our fancy (so to speak) and agreed that they might be fun to be with especially since there were lots of eye contact between us as a couple. We found later that their names were Danny and Kathy.
I loved the sauna...so while my lovely, curvy and sex driven wife was laying in the sun I opted for a visit into the sauna. I layed my... Continue»
It’s been a rough couple weeks as being new parents the stress is really getting to us. With no time for fun times and me generally feeling down so getting a break is a rare thing.
Arriving late afternoon tension is high having had a harsh discussion earlier on in the week and just not feeling the love seeing bappy was something that I wasn’t overly excited about, that was until our wee one was babysat by his mammy that evening.
Now for the readers who know us better through our past stories passion is usually big between us because I don’t “diy” and I wait until I’m with him before pl... Continue»
I walked into the doctors office, the nurse took my weight and checked my bl**d pressure than took me to a room and said go ahead and take your clothes off, the doctor will be with you soon.
I’m a petite woman at 5’2, small with perky breast (so I’ve been told) a nice little firm and bubbly butt and yes, I am a proud owner of one of the thickest pussy out there, my lips are so huge it can cover most of anyone’s face who likes to eat.
Anyway, I disrobed and lied down on the chair, the room was a bit chilly and my nipples were solid hard, it took the doctor 10 minutes to come in the room. ... Continue»
I was 16 and dating the sexiest girl I've ever known. She had huge, firm tits, a perfectly round ass and the sweetest curves imaginable. Well, my best female friend was having a house party while her parents were out of town. There were maybe 15 people there, not a large crowd, but a bunch of us stayed over for the night.
My girl and I crashed in the living room... as did the hostess and another friend of ours. It was only a few minutes after the room had gone quiet when I started to gently caress my girl's delicious behind. She rubbed herself up against my leg and I could instantly ... Continue»
My wife and I had another one of our legendary fights and I decided to just go stay at a hotel for the night and just relax. The clerk stared at me kind of funny when I went to check in at 9pm and didn't have any ID. I explained to him the fight with my wife and how I'd left my wallet at home and the story about my emergency cash stash in the car and, with a $100 tip, I soon had a no-questions-asked room with double queens.
After dropping off my bag I went down to the restaurant and got in a quick bite. I had a rum & cola with the dinner that I didn't even touch so I just took it back to t... Continue»
When we were young my s****r would sneak into my bedroom at the end of the hall and would. Curiously pull back the blanket and take my dick out of my under wear and look at it and fell it. I was about 16 she was 14. I had sex before and she never has but I did see her with moms dildo in her pussy before! She would come into my room almost every night and play with my dick. I would move a little and she would duck under the bed. She figured I was sl**ping. So after about two week of this she got a little braver and put her soft lips around my cock for just a second and when she did it again I r... Continue»
My 2nd Story:
The Creation Of The Vagina
There were seven wise men so fine.
creating a pussy to thier design.
The first was a butcher, Short and wit, using a knife he created a slit.
The second was a sculptor, strong and bold, using a hammer and chisel he created a hole.
The third was a hunter, short and stout, using the fur of a fox he lined it without.
The fourth was a fisherman, nasty as hell, he threw in a fish giving it the smell.
The fifth was a chef, short and big around the waste, he sprinkled some salt giving it a salty taste.
The sixith was a milk man, Tall and thin, he ... Continue»
My name is justin and this is my story. Well for starters I am a 5'7 male very strong build ( I play football) and I am apparently socially accepted.
It all happened on one random lonely warm night. Nothing out of place or in favor to clue a hint to this leading up to what would possibly be the most extreme not of my young life. I am a computer junky and its all I know (besides football). I live in an apartment building above my Aunt and her f****y of 5. Her second older daughter being the same age as me. Our entire lives we competed to see who was the best. We were always the same height.... Continue»
This post is about how, to some of you, size DOES matter…a lot! As you can see, I am at the other end of the spectrum at 4.5 inches. Does this bother me? Yes and no. Let me start at the beginning and I think you’ll see what I mean…
My first girlfriend was very devoted to me as a person but unfortunately she couldn’t really feel much when we made love. Over time since she knew what a high sex drive I had she would take dick and start jerking me off. After a couple of minutes she always said her arm was getting tired which meant that she wanted me to finish myself off. This became the norm af... Continue»
I have a strange story. My dad had a high sex drive and I could hear he and mom fuck many times every night. He also fucked her every morning before they got up. My room was next to theirs and I could hear it all. I was the oldest of four k**s. I had two s****rs and a b*****r younger than me. We were all home schooled and seldom left our farm. My mom was a sexy looking woman and dad was very handsome. I could see why they fucked all the time. I walked in the kitchen one time when dad had his hand under moms dress and was fingering her pussy as she stood in front of the sink. When I walked in h... Continue»
Yesterday I went to the doctor because i felt like i was peeing too much, i'm sitting in the waiting room and the doctor calls me, and she is the hottest woman i have ever seen. Late 20s/early 30s, gorgeous middle-eastern face, nice curvy lips, big dark eyes. She's very friendly with a thick Persian accent which i find very sexy. i explained to her my situation, and then she asked if i was sexually active, and i said no a bit too quickly, and she looked surprised for a second. She got me to pee in a jar, dipped the testing strip, and came over to show me the results. She got me to hold one end... Continue»
This is the true story about my first time with a guy. It happened about 8 years ago.
John and I had been friends since we were about 6 years old. We did just about everything together. We were, and still are, best friends. One evening we decided to go to the gym and work out. The place was just about empty. We had the place to ourselves for the most part. I wasn’t as into the work out as John was. I decided to call it quits and hit the showers. John decided to stay and lift some more.
Since the place was empty I was in the showers alone. I was thinking about the killer blowjob that ... Continue»
True story, though doesn't every one start that way...
When I was twenty I worked at a resort in the hills of Northern California. I was cooking for a seasonal resort hotel-restaurant. The place was, or still is, in a part of the redwood forest on a secluded stretch of Highway 101, a short walk from the dramatic cliffs and winding trails down to lagoons of the California coast.
The job was lousy, but the pay was incredible and the scenery was unbeatable. The main advantage of the place was that it was a beautiful resort, and it was large and secluded enough that it had housing and apart... Continue»
My wife and I own alot of property,and a few horses.I am 6 foot tall 220 and about 8 inches.She is 5'2 about 140 and has 38dd tits,mm nice. Ok we got a horse that was about 2 years old.One day it seemed to be a little down so i called the vet.Lora asked me what the vet said. "he said the horse,Sam we called him,was in need of some attention.he said if I jerk it off the thing will be fine." She laughed.So reluctant to do it i asked my wife if she would please help me.It took some persuation but it was for Sam's health so she finally agreed to help,but seemed disgusted be it.
I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful younger s****r.
My prospective s****r-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate because she never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day her 'little' s****r called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I ... Continue»
When Malini got married to Devender, people who attended their wedding said the match is not alright. Because Malini was a cute short statured, delicate beauty, whereas Devemder was a seven footer, with large limbs fit for a basket ball player or a boxer. Malini had done her graduation in Hindi and Devender also did his grad. and was working in a govt. office.
He liked to eat good and tasty food and malini was an expert cook. But in the bedroom he was a brute. He never talked to her small niceties or did anything by way of foreplay. When he feels like sex, he just sticks his penis into her ... Continue»
"It's a wreck, is what it is," Tommy Cordova half mumbled through the gauze of the surgical mask, his face bent closely to Kate's face, the polished steel mirror working to varying angles in her mouth.
I heard Kate stifle a sob, her right eye doing a minute tic towards where I stood, arms crossed, sagged in the corner of the exam room.
Tommy straightened up after another moment and slipped the magnified safety glasses off his face. "Two molars are shot. The one furthest back looks okay."
"I don't want 'em pulled," Kate mumbled, lifting up in the dental chair just a bit.
"Gotta come... Continue»