Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 68
Being on xHamster for 408 days doesn’t make me a porn king or Ron Jeremy but i’m on here long enough to know that this is one to remember.
I recently realized that if i log on every day i would end up with alot of favourite video’s and photo’s. At this moment its one sexual energy explosion in my head and i can’t stop clicking on “add to favourite video’s” or “add to favourite whatever” for that matter.
Many people would categorize me as just one of the million horny “pull out my dick” kind of guy but i would beg to... Continue»
by Eddy Current
One night, when his charge was pretty high, Micro Farad decided to try to
get a cute little coil to let him discharge. He picked up Millie Amp and
took her for a ride on his megacycle. They rode across the wheatstone
bridge around by the sine wave and stopped in a magnetic field by a flowing
Micro Farad, attracted by Millie's characteristic curves, soon had his
resistance at a minimum and his field fully excited. He laid her on the
ground potential, raised her frequency, lowered her capacitance, and pulled
out his high voltage probe. He inserted it ... Continue»
This was to be my first time at the 'party' I didn't know exactly what was involved but I knew it was a privalige to be invited. I had provided a certificate from the clinic to say that I was free of sexual diseases and another to show that I was using birth control. Finally I had signed an agreement, although I wasnt sure what I was agreeing to as I wasn't alowed to read it.
So now I stood nervously before the table. Three people faced me, two men and in the middle a woman I didn't know. She spoke
"As we have a new member there will be only one name in the bowl... Continue»
I'd love to see a lesbian film featuring Roxanne Pallet from Emmerdale and Helen Flanagan from Coronation Street. To those of you reading this who don't know who they are, just google their names, and I'm sure you'll agree with me. Just imagine the 2 of them dressed in school uniforms eating each other out. Fucking amazing!
Now, as stunning as they may be, they are basically "normal" girls. It would be easy to say that you'd love to see Beyonce having her clit licked by Rihanna...(there's a thought!) Come on, boys and girls. I really want to hear who yo... Continue»
I haven't been with many women, I am not even old enough to drink yet so I still got time! I have been with a few different girls & have had a few nice experiences with each of them, sorry no visuals for any of them. Only my most recent ex:
So here's a little info on the girls I was with & some of the experiences I've had so far.
Name - Age
Hair Color - Type
Age I was when I was with them
What I did with them
Amanda - 18
Black - Straight Long (To hips)
HJ, BJ, Sex, Ana... Continue»
"Just a moment I would like to have a smoke before bed." Walking past the screen door I stop it before it slams but she heard the creeks I hear her steps down the white carpet stairs such a woman makes noise with every movement of her light frame that old screen door opens without a peep I know that darn thing doesnt like me. "Babe can you roll me one." my reply "yes" the cream paper already in my fingers I fold in half pinch the tabbacco then roll her fag hand her my flame she lites the glow set back stands far from the night sky a quick shine in her big blue eyes. "It may storm tonight, coul... Continue»
My Wife and I felt very uncomfortable with a situation to be happened a few years ago ...
There was a business meeting with a supporting programm for golfers. So, we decided to go together there ...
We worked hard at day an had a funny evening in the wine yards benath RHINE, Germany ...
And, as always, we belonged to the last at the bar ...
You have to know, that SHE can squirt as hell, when she is in the right mood ...
This night she was in the right mood, and so were I ...
Next day we had business as usual and in the afternoon some golfing ...
The next and last morning, ... Continue»
A few nights ago, I found myself thinking about that party at
Kurt and Rachel's last summer. If you remember, we showed up
after eight. The invitation was for seven, but due to several
thoroughly avoidable delays, we arrived unfashionably late.
For some reason, you waited until the moment we were suppose
to leave home to re-sculpt your hair. Then you changed clothes
twice and after that you picked a fight with me over what I
was wearing, so then I had to change. Slowing us down further
was that little stop we made on route to the party.
That, I admit, was my idea.
I'll never forget... Continue»
If you want a repeat performance from your lady friend, it might be a good idea to tap into your sensitive side and step your cuddle game up. Psychologist Susan Hughes said:
“Females placed an overall great importance than did males on all five items measured: intimate talking, kissing, cuddling and caressing, professing their love for their partner and talking about the relationship after sex. In contrast, men placed more importance on gaining extrinsic rewards after sex.”
And these extrinsic rewards include cigarettes, booze, etc.
So what is to be gained from this study (that survey... Continue»
According to some studies, 3 out of 10 men are can attest that they really understand women.
The remaining 7, you ask? They are out in the haystack finding needles. This means that almost 70% of the men population in the U.S. contends that whatever they do, they still could not figure out how to understand women.
For this reason, men are having a hard time to figure out what attract women sexually and romantically in a relationship. 6 out of ten men attest that women are so unpredictable that what they thought women are attracted to, they suddenly realize in the end that it is not the ri... Continue»
This is all a part of imaginary work. I used to always fantasize about my teachers in my school days and now also I'm fantasizing about my college mam. Let me introduce myself to all PW readers. My name is Ayush. I'm a mechanical engineering student, having a athletic body and I'm 5 ft 11 inches tall. Till my school days I never used to think about love and all. I always believed in flirting. But things have changed now.
This story is about my computer mam, Pooja, who is the sexiest in my college. Let me introduce her. She is 5 ft 6 inches tall with long brown hairs. She has a very beautif... Continue»
If your bra is uncomfortable, it's the wrong one for your body. If you don't look better with it than without it, it's the wrong one for your body.
It really is that simple. But here are some more specific clues that you need to go back to the lingerie department:
• The straps are either falling off or digging into your shoulders
• The band either pinches your rib cage or rides up in back.
• The cups gape or your breasts are oozing out of them (sometimes causing a "dented" look under clothes).
• The underwire either digs into your rib cage or catches your arms when you swing them forw... Continue»
As a barely 21 year old, my chances of getting into an "Over 28's only" night at a club were pretty slim...
I invited a few of my "older" female friends down to distract the bouncers from checking my ID. It worked. I walked into the club, observing all of the cougars with their loose skin flapping about on the dancefloor. **Note: Not all of them were in bad shape. These were just the first onces I noticed.
After observing this, I decided to dedicate myself to a night of heavy drinking.
I put down as much scotch as I could, as quicky as I could. And then my dancing legs kicked in. Drink in... Continue»
HELP! SOMEBODY HELP ME!! i screamed,as leon tackled me. 'you know better than to run from you master jewl.'he chuckled.'YOUR NOT MY GOD-DAMN MASTER , SO GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!!!'i yelled.'well looks like my little slave-slut needs punishment'he laughed , as he picked me up and put a ball gag in my mouth.then he slung me over his shoulder,as i began to wail.he took me all the way back up the long narrow drive.when we got through the door , he didnt put me down like he normally dose. he went straight to the torture room.'tisk-tisk,today i was going to pleasure you , but now i c... Continue»
The second humor based short play I wrote back in 2009...sixth stab at humor in sex...
Sex Fantasy TV, A Play (Sixth stab at humor)
Scene 1: A television studio set sometime in the future. Three couples are seated in front of the main TV camera. The show's host is standing in front of them with a stage behind the host. On the stage are prizes for the contestants. A studio audience is observing the goings on.
Peter Long: Sharply dressed middle-aged man. He is the host of the show.
Debbie: Shapely, young woman in a sequined dress. She points to the prizes on ... Continue»
The term "flapper" evokes the image of short fringe dresses, cigarette holders, bobs and stylish hair accessories.
But beyond these shorter hemlines and daring fashion attitudes was a strong undercurrent of change for women in the Roaring 1920s. This new generation of young woman, tired of men's dominance in society and of the old social norms that stifled them, took on new behaviors previously deemed not suitable for women. They drove cars, drank alcohol, and attended jazz clubs by night where they danced, smoked cigarettes and dated men casually. They began to work outside the home and ad... Continue»
(Ann gets inked in an intimate area)
"Unique tattooing, can I help you?" David answered the ringing phone. "Hi David, this is Ann. Do you have any time to squeeze me in today?" she asked, cheerfully.
A huge smile flashed across David's already darkly handsome face when he heard her voice. Ann.... Her golden hair, long legs and chubby body just made his senses soar, not to mention his heart race every time she smiled at him. She had a smile that would melt the polar ice caps, and bring blinding light to darkened catacombs. He loved tattooing her as well, she never complained of the pain a... Continue»
Ever wake up to finding yourself masturbating and fantasizing about some type of sex. lol well for me it happened during the night. i found myself lying in bed rubbing and stroking my rock hard cock and dreaming about Supergirl from DC comics or at least this woman was wearing an outfit like supergirl all i know is i pulled of her blue top with the superman logo on it revealing her big tits as she sucked my cock in my fantasy. and then pulled off her skirt and gave her a hell of a good fuck doggystyle. clearly it must just been roleplaying cause if it was really supergirl shed probably had rip... Continue»
I don't have any friends, keeps me out of trouble. I think its my lips that make me smile but i could be wrong. I'm proud I don't have a job, gives me time to help out some poor k**s that don't have a father. k**s are the ones who will be here when we are dead and we need them to be smart and do the right thing. I love helping people and being kind to anyone in need, I spend most of my time working for people for free, cause I have more money then I could spend in three life times. my dad died and left me alot of money but that's a story for some other time.
I have two cars and one truck ... Continue»
English is not my first language.
It was almost twenty years ago.
I sat down with my girl friend in a quite Café. When she took off her coat, I realized she did not wear a bra that day because I could see the shape of her nipple on her thin clothes. I wanted to do a plank of it. So I touched her nipple slightly -almost barely- over her clothes in a way no one could see. It was a public place but she did not complain or resist. So I continued to touch her nipple slightly, barely and gently over her clothes again and again during conversation. Finally she sighed and closed h... Continue»