Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 68

Joke..!!

A married couple is lying in bed one night. The wife is curled up, ready to go to sl**p, and the husband turns his bed lamp on to read a book. As he’s reading, he periodically reaches over to his wife and fondles her special area. He does this a few times, but only for a very short interval before returning to read his book.

The wife gradually becomes more and more aroused and, assuming that her husband is seeking some encouragement before going further, Gets up and starts stripping in front of him.

The husband is confused and asks, "Why are you taking off your clothes?"

His wife repl... Continue»
Posted by papa61 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 1552  |  
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Theatrical......3

Theatrical ….3

I awoke with a start 2 hours later and quickly looked around, he was sitting in the chair in just his boxer shorts watching the sport, I sighed as I rested my head back down on the pillow, it had not been a dream, I really was with him but I also realised that the wine contributed to my collapse but I felt totally rested, I also realised that I was in the bed as he had covered me up in bed , I curled up in the bed happy to be with him and watched him, he turned and looked at me then came over then bent and kissed me, I felt so relaxed as I reached up and curled my arm aroun... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 242  |  
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Working Holiday

Just back for a works tip to Spain, 11 days in a place i wont name as I dont want to give the game away, but I had a great time.

Last time I was there was a lads holiday 9 years ago, this time I ended up with a house to myself because the guy who was supposed to cover the job was planning on bringing his wife and k** so the house was booked, when he dropped out I said I would do it.

Ended up in a nice house with a little pool, was not too busy around there so no neighbors to complain. Good stuff.

Like I said I was there on a lds holiday years ago and had a bit of cunt (english & scott... Continue»
Posted by happy_wanking 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 778  |  
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I fucked a MILF in a wheelchair

I was a grad student at Valdosta State University a few years ago and I used to see a M.I.L.F. in a wheelchair that was mid 40ish and very good looking. She had a really nice rack on her! I made a point of running into her a number of times around campus so I could talk to her. I discovered she worked for VSU and was not a student. She was divorced and had k**s grown and out of the house. I told her I liked to hang out at Bungelow's, a local college bar, and sure enough one night I saw her come in. I invited her to sit with me and I bought her a few jack and cokes and before long she was a bit... Continue»
Posted by DostaDude 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 3252  |  
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The 12 Days of Christmas - The True story

THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
DAY ONE:

Dearest Bob,
I went to the door today and the postman delivered
a partridge in a pear tree. What a thoroughly delightful gift.
I couldn't have been more surprised.
With deepest love and affection,
Violet



DAY TWO:

Dearest Bob,
Today the postman brought your very sweet gift.
Justimagine...two turtle doves!!
I'm delighted at your very thoughtful gift.
They are just too adorable.
My everlasting love,
Violet


DAY THREE:

My Dear Bob,
Oh! Aren't you the extravagant one!
Now I actually must protest.
I don't deserve ... Continue»
Posted by OlGeezer 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 333  |  
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Carole’s hairy cunt and the massage

See the photos that go with this story at “Carole’s hairy cunt and the massage”

Since being with Keith (my husband) most of my sexual encounters have been with him in attendance and indeed filming the action or joining in.

However, some have occurred without him being there and Keith tolerates this as long as I tell him all the graphic details later and I let him act out the encounter afterwards. So a win, win for me!

One such occasion occurred a few years ago when we were at Cap d’Agde the French naturist resort.

I had suggested that I’d like a massage whilst we were on holiday a... Continue»
Posted by CaroleX 1 year ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 2769  |  
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Anathema Device










Anathama Device


Anathema returned to her class satisfied that she had got her own way yet again .

Anna was used to getting her own way. She dominated her older s****r Meg and her younger s****r
Janet, She even dominated her Mother Meg or so she imagined.

The telephone rang at Meg Browns house . Meg answered almost immediately .

It was Martin the Principal at Hope High School .
Martin White was the nephew of the bank manager who had owned the Mansion on the hill and had been the deputy Principal when Meg was at school.
No one knew except for ... Continue»
Posted by clearly 3 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1838  |  
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My foreign boyfriend.

This is a real experience guys, I had a boyfriend from London once and I spoke to him recently, we are no longer together because of the distance thing. We were on cam and everything, and I don't know how but we ended up talking about when we used to fuck... it was a bit embarrasssing because we don't talk about that shit anymore - it's the past. It really turned me on and I figured maybe it would be an interesting read.

It's not one of those erotic or dirty normal stories, it may be a bit boring or whatever but anyway.. Read on if you got the time - maybe it will make ... Continue»
Posted by xxxsarah69xxx 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 623  |  
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CAUGHT AND PUNISHED !!!!!!

Right i thought, ill get this last job sorted then race home and have the house to myself for an hour or so before the wife gets in. Both the k**s are away so i thought ill enjoy some sexy time alone. I rushed home and swung the van into the first space i could find. When i jumped out my freshly shaven cock was already starting to pulsate as i thought about my beautiful wives sexy panties in the wash basket just waiting to be explored.

I kicked of my shoes and dropped my trousers releasing my massive hard throbbing cock, and went upstairs. I reached into the wash basket and found 3 pairs o... Continue»
Posted by himNher 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 642  |  
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a new song for sailors

Now that women are allowed in the Navy we have to change that old song...

What can you do with a d***ken sailor,
what can you do with a sexy sailor ?
what can you do with a female sailor early in the morning ?

pull her panties down and spank her white ass,
pull her panties down and spank her black ass,
pull her panties down and spank her tight ass, till she cries Ahoy.

What can you do with a d***ken sailor,
what can you do with a sexy sailor ?
what can you do with a female sailor early in the morning ?

tie her tits up with an old rope,
tie her tits up with a new rope,
tie h... Continue»
Posted by VictorL4fun 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 690  |  
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Little Piggy Series (the V.O. Segrams, RV)

Once Upon a time in a southern backwoods farming and mining community lived poor uneducated folk. My name is Tammy Sue, and I was a little 5'3 120 pound chubby girl with 38C udders that swelled to D's when I was impregnated. My hubby was from the North, and enjoyed by dutiful southern charm. He loved to give me assignments that would show my loyalty, and at the same time keep me entertained on the farm.

One night while I was stroking my husband’s penis in bed, he mentioned to me that one of his desires was to be with each of my female relatives. I laughed at first thinking ... Continue»
Posted by WombDweller 4 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 1459  |  
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Seducing & Fucking My Maid


I was with my cousin b*****r who just passed a comment that if he was in my place he would have had her by now. It was then I looked at her in that sense, she was mopping the floor facing us kneeling down. Her saree across her bosom was a little down revealing her cleavage. I looked at her but didn't have any thoughts about the issue. After a few days everybody left and only our f****y was remaining. The next few days were nice as we had our first s****r-in-law (bhabhi) and talked about a lot of things.

But in these days every time Kavitha was mopping the floor I used to peep at her cle... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 960  |  
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Brief sex 06 he is In the next room

Brief sex 06

In the next room.



In principle, I do not like dredging or yield to the advances of women friends. But sometimes circumstances play tricks on us. Her name was Sophie, it was the wife of a friend with whom I had made it part of my studies. Say that Sophie had left me indifferent, no, it would be wrong. I always watched this chick with a lot of desire.

I was happy for my friend Andrew, but hey, be respectful does not prevent having eyes. The plastic Sophie approached perfection. Tall brunette with long hair, her skin was golden tan always perfect. His oval face her ... Continue»
Posted by CinquantNERF 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 423  |  
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wet dream

My girlfriend, her mother, and father were at work. Her b*****r, still in high school, was off to school. Her two daughters were with their father. All that was home was me and her. We all stayed in at my girlfriend’s mom’s house, all 8 of us.
It was 10 in the morning she had just awakened, I felt for her more and more that I was around her; she was 8 months pregnant by her husband. I sent her a message to tell her to get on yahoo messenger. I then asked her the question, it took me a while to build up the courage to ask her, but I did it. To my surprise she didn’t freak out she just pol... Continue»
Posted by Tr3al 3 years ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 1568  |  
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The Absent-Minded Commuter

The Absent-Minded Traveller
I am a terribly forgetful person - let me give you an example. Yesterday I went to visit a friend - a beautiful friend, slim, yet with curves in all the right places - and we flirt, though nothing has happened between us … yet. I wanted her to notice how good I looked, so I made a special effort before I set off for her place. I put on a rather short, floral dress, and high heeled, strappy sandals. Then I sat in front of the mirror and watched myself as I pumped my clit hood till it was huge - all swollen and soft - rubbing against my thighs. To get to my friend’... Continue»
Posted by pinkpumper 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1716  |  
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Shy Indian Wife's Massage

We are an Indian couple from Kerala aged 34 and 38 yrs and married for seven years.

I had to go on a business trip which involved six hours of driving and my wife was with me in the car - After the meeeting we thought of visiting a nearby beach which is famous for Indian ayurvedic messages - I suggested that she go for a massage and she gave me a flat 'NO" for her.

I requested a massage for myself and the guy who mas massaging me was just around twenty years old. I suggested that my wife watch the massage as she had never seen it before.

As my massage was almost geeting over I insiste... Continue»
Posted by cuteb0y25 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 2209  |  
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Anyone Remember?

Last Summer, my friends and I were at a concert. It was crowded, yet, we managed to be at the front of the audience. Once the concert began you could feel the huge f***e of bodies behind us. People kept pushing into our backs and one could smell the sticky sweat of overheated bodies in the air. A tall man was standing behind me. I noticed his groin kept touching my bum as we all moved. At first, I thought it was perhaps an accident but after several times I knew his true intentions but I liked it. The barrier in front of us was around waist height, I leaned over it, arched my back and stuck ... Continue»
Posted by FoxyGirl24 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 2386  |  
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The Hitch Hiker - Short Story

Jack Straw, 35, single forever, sales-man for stockings, lacy lingery and condoms, travels more miles through the lonely country than any one of us - it is his job! He doesn't meet many women on his long and dusty way through the outback, but he certainly longs for the once-in-a-lifetime encounter with a lady that will fulfill all his secret dreams!

Here I am once again on this endless and winding road through the deserted country side. The six cylinder motor of my old station wagon is humming comfortably under the broad bonnet as I ride along with seventy miles an hour. I am traveling li... Continue»
Posted by sushicook 3 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 500  |  
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Bob and his wife

Introduction: A joke for the ppl who never heard it before.

Bob works hard and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym. His wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.

The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Bob! How ya doin?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh no," says Bob. "He's on my bowling team."

When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, "How... Continue»
Posted by PornApocalypse 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 1108  |  
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Peep Show Performance by Giorgio Canoli

PEEP SHOW PERFORMANCE by Giorgio Canoli


On their way home from dinner George suggested he and Kim stop at a local adult toy store. "How come were making this pit stop"? she asked. He replied, "I noticed your rabbit isn't as fast as he used to be", "the tortoise can actually beat him now". They chuckled as they exited the vehicle.

This wasn't no ordinary porno shop. It was the home depot of erotica. They wandered through each aisle, Kim's pussy started getting moist and she could see George's cock growing through his pants. Kim quipped "Be careful with that loaded gun in your poc... Continue»
Posted by NYItalianStud 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo, Voyeur  |  Views: 1317  |  
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