Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 67
1. We can get laid anytime we want
2. We never have to buy our own drinks at the bar
3. We piss sitting down so its easier to pass out on the toilet when you're d***k
4. We get out of speeding tickets by crying
5. We get out of speeding tickets by showing a little cleavage or leg
6. We can sl**p our way to the top of the class
7. We get to shop at Victoria's Secret
8. We can marry rich and then not have to work
9. We never have to pay when we go out on dates
10. Men take us on all expense paid trips - all we have to do is sl**p with them
11. Men light our cigarettes for us
12. Men... Continue»
[/user]I had a cool threesome once. I fucked my buddy's wife along with him on her birthday. Then I fucked him too. I am not personally into dudes but he said that it was her ultimate fantasy to watch him with another man. Now, because it was her birthday, i had a little something to take the edge off, and I was fucking the woman, so I let him have a go at my virgin butt hole. Thank goodness he has a tiny dick and that her tongue fingers were very active the whole time especially to start it out. i almost jumped up and beat ass in his own bedroom at first because he got moving way too much wa... Continue»
Saturday morning and my phone rings. I look over to see who it was and it’s my s****r Quisha most likely wanting me to do something. Last week it was fix her pipes, the week before that fix the TV, not to mention she had her fine ass friend Alexandria over. But she couldn’t fix her lips to help me out and put in a word with her. I, Ramon, the helpful big b*****r was to the rescue. This time I said to myself that I wasn’t about to do shit. I let the call go to voicemail the first time. Then her worrisome ass had the audacity to call again. My guess is that she wasn’t gonna let me sl**p until I ... Continue»
The Sheriff in a small town walks out in the street and sees a blonde cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun, and his boots, so he arrests him for indecent exposure.
As he is locking him up, he asks "Why in the world are you dressed like this?
The Cowboy says, "Well it's like this Sheriff .. I was in the bar down the road and this pretty little red head asks me to go out to her motor home with her. So I did.
We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt ... so I did.
Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off m... Continue»
First Try at writing an actual story Sorry if it sucks
I looked at the clock. 12:59. YES! Then I pull my phone out of my back pocket to confirm. 12:59. Hell fucking yes! Then I turn behind me to the timer/official clock. 12:59:35 25 Seconds till we close and are finally allowed to resume all the closing shit we have to do. It's been a fucking crazy Friday Night, with more cars rolling through than normal.
NO MOTHER FUCKING WAY! I look at my manager, Jessica and my face must have said "Please let me tell this car we closed". She ... Continue»
As soon as the door closed to her place Debbie started squeezing me tight. Before I knew it I was the one with my dress around my ankles. Soon I was being pulled down the hall to Debbie's bedroom. While I sat on her bed, Debbie went in her bathroom to freshen up.
When she came out she was wearing a sexy red night gown. If it weren't for the fact it was a size 6X you might have thought Debbie bought the thing at Victoria's Secret.
Debbie was one big fat fuck of a woman. I used to sa... Continue»
I already shared with u guys my expirience with my science..mam and this s with my social mam.. I liked her..very much...
She s in her 40s .married but din have a c***d :( :)... but truth s that she s dam sexy...i always daydream at her..and result is fail in my exams.. So i get a chance to attend her remedials..around 10 students accompany me in her..class.. Oh i forget to say her character ,she s very strict ..she use to debate for all the topic.. So i know if i could get her in a sexy argument then i can win her.. .. I was waitin for a rite day..i said all my friends that lets bunk the re... Continue»
There must be something about me that causes me to be abnormally horny all the time. I don't know what it is but just smelling or being close to any woman can give me a woody the size of Texas. I just love women!! The way they walk, with their cute little shakes, and wiggles drives me wild. Too bad the feeling isn't mutual most women are uninterested in me. Although I consider myself to be handsome and outgoing, most women find me arrogant, and pompous.
Jenna is my steady girlfriend and I try very hard to stay faithful to her. Of course the task would really be a challenge, if another ... Continue»
I'm clear about one thing – I belive in love, but even sex is important. And variety in sex is good! I've been fantasizing about sex since my teenage. And its gotten stronger with age! I've had good time with my maid, some aunties, and girls in bangalore. When I was in college, I used to take “tips" from seniors on how to go about these things. I wish we had more stories like desitales then for the lessons!! Anyway, let me tell you about one incident that happened just before my marriage. I used to think about having sex as many times as possible before marriage. One day in office, I got ca... Continue»
I met Layla on my holiday in Thailand. She was at my hotel bar. We danced a while at first. We were kissing a lot. She had long dark hair at nice looking boobs. I got her up to my room though later and she obviously had sex on her mind too as she touched my hard on a few times on the way to my room. We got into my room and got drinks and on returning with them she said “let’s get comfortable” and took off her white boob tube type top, releasing her gorgeous boobs. She then proceeded to undo my fly and release my already stiff cock. Layla then teased and sucked my cock beautifully almost to bur... Continue»
One time while my wife was pregnant we had just climbed into bed. She was tired but also felt like sex. She wanted sl**p more than sex though and practically passed out in a minute. She sl**ps in only her panties, so I started gently groping her breasts and lightly squeezing her nipples. Her nipples got hard and she sighed a few times. She didn't wake up at all so I kept going until her nipples started leaking milk. That always made her body want more. It made me want more, too. She was on her side and unconsciously rolled to her back and spread her legs as if it was instinct. I had been hard ... Continue»
I went into a sexual relationship with my mother like innocent Bhabhi, Radha. We are two b*****rs Murli and I and I was younger and around 18 years old my b*****r Murli was married to Radha Bhabhi. She was hot and sexy female from Pune. She was homely but no one would stop staring at her beautiful body.
She had huge busty boobs and lean waist and bulgy round ass. She was tall enough and also had long black hair. She was very down to earth and innocent and her face was so cute and also sexy. She was so beautiful when she smiled. My b*****r and Radha Bhabhi were living in Mumbai and me and m... Continue»
Hello everyone… I’m here to tell you how i lost my virginity…
I was 14 years old, when I started to get interest in sex, I was a very shy k** and didn’t had too many girl friends back then, though I was very popular amongst them… I had a few girlfriends, but whit them, I have never passed through the phase of groping, kissing, hugging and all that stuff…
I had no girlfriend at the moment, and my sex life resumes to jerking off my cock, imagining my f****y members, people I knew back then, both man and women (yes I’m bisexual, but I enjoy only older man, with more than 45 years, with some ext... Continue»
I was talking with my Dom, earlier today and we were reminiscing about the indiscretions I had while I was married. Its not like it didn't happen once or twice, it occurred multiple times and in different ways with each time getting more brazen. He couldn't believe that my husband did not have the balls to punish a relentless little slut like me and put me in my place. Especially since he wanted to remain married to me. Yet he never set me on a path where I would forget cheating, cybersex, phone sex, webcamming or have any sexual contact with another man (or woman) without his explicit consent... Continue»
So I spent the night over my good friends house last night. We had a lil bit to much wine. Her husband was out. Later we both got sl**py so she said just get in bed with me. My husband can sl**p on the couch. So we both fell asl**p butt naked. Later I heard her husband come in. He just got naked and in the bed with us. I paid him no mind. He began playing with his big dick. He rolled over on my friend and was beating her pussy up! it was so quiet all I could hear was the sound of her wet pussy. This turned me on. Her husband than took his fingers and started rubbing my wet pussy. He told my fr... Continue»
One of many tales I wrote - with many more to come if I get feedback!
Eurotica 14: First day of the holiday
Lorna was sitting back on her plastic chair and looking up, there was barely a cloud to be seen in the sky and a distant jet plane broke the blue void.
She was sat on the top balcony of the holiday apartment, the sun was high in the midday sky and the heat was entering every pore.
She was a redhead and her pale skin could suffer in that climate, it was for the best not to overdo it on the first day of the holiday. Why be in pain for the rest of it?
She put her sunglasses b... Continue»
So,its a nice evening bit cold but oke ,toninght i wil meet a new friend i have meet her through a chat programme.
I live now 4 years in Romania its a nice country with beautifull girls i will meet her in the centrum of Bucharest a place that i dont now yet we will see.
Its evening about 9 o clock its already dark i take a taxi than i can drink something thats better ,after 10 min the taxi arrive i tell him the place were i have to go,he look a little straints and ask me your sure,why i ask,now no reason he say its oke i will bring you there.
The whole time the men dont say nothing only loo... Continue»
Hello buddies it's a true story. Two main characters raj and geetha. raj is a student , studying in high school age 18. Geetha is a teacher in that high school super hot teacher age 28 , married .
Story begin here ,Raj is a good boy , but bad in studies .geetha is a friend of raj's mother.so raj is afraid in periods of geetha . she is a maths teacher , raj had many dreams about geetha . Because she is very beauty some 36-28-36 . a perfect figure . geetha as a soft corner for raj always . she used to boost up his marks .
one day raj went to geetha's house on Sunday to clear some... Continue»
MILE HIGH by Giorgio Canoli
As Tammy was putting her carry on in the over head compartment she struggled and fumbled. From the corner of her eye came two olive skinned and chiseled forearms. As her eyes followed his arms up to the head she ogled his features as he successfully fit the bag into the compartment. "Thank you very much. That was sweet of you" she said with imaginary hearts floating above her. The good looking stranger replied "No problem at all. That's my superhero power, I help pretty women in trouble" and gave her a wink. Just then the overhead announcement called for the ... Continue»
I have to be fast any second it can change the whole motion and I will be out off sync. I turn over and move myself in a position it will be easy to go deep just the way I like.
When I push hard in one thrust as deep as I can and in the meanwhile reaching out for the breast to grab the nipple I know this will make the difference so I can penetrate all the way, even it will hurt for just a second.
I stick high up my curved ass towards his stiff cock to feel him going even deeper, I moan loud if he squeezes my left breast and pulling my swollen nipple.
The sensation of feeling the tip o... Continue»