Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 67

Monday Morning Shower

The alarm I set to go off each week day at 7am beeps aggravatingly on the other side of the room. Beside me you groan, throwing your covers off your naked body to go and get it. "I got it handsome" I murmur, putting a hand on your chest and pushing you back into bed gently. You don't need much convincing, rubbing groggy eyes and settling back against your pillows. I slip out of bed, already nude from a night of glorious, sweaty sex. Still a bit sore, I stretch, turning away to give you a nice view. You laugh and give a low whistle. Grinning ear to ear I grab the infuriating device and turn it ... Continue»
Posted by experiencedvirgin 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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The Adventures of Cheryl - The Pizza Game

“Okay, it's pizza time!” Rachel excitedly called out to the group. The other four girls all squealed with delight. Everyone knew what it meant to order pizza. It meant it was time for the pizza game.



The game was really simple but extremely fun and exciting. First, the girls would decide on a game game to play; usually spin the bottle or poker or something easy like that. They didn't play for money, but for the clothes they wore. The first girl nude was the loser and had to order and pay for the piz... Continue»
Posted by Cheryl4516 5 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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GREAT Loser

Today I wrote a check that I miss could not cash, but I’m glad I did.

Last week I made a bet with Jimmy, the captain of the football team, they were playing the #1 team in the league and that team was undefeated, our local team had lost 3 games already and only won two. The bet was that our local team would lose at least by 14 points and if they were to win I would do whatever he wanted.

Mind you, I’m 5’4” one of the sexiest and prettiest girl in the school. I have a nice bubbly ass with 36c tits… They are fairly huge with big pink nipples. So when I made the bet, yes I wanted him to fuc... Continue»
Posted by dlbiblkm 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Development of a Lesbian - Bonus

Hey everyone. I got a pretty good response to my last story so I'm going to post something I discovered on my old hard drive - my writings from when I was about 14-16. When I was younger I used to write what was on my mind, so here it is! Also, if you notice any differences in this story and the last, its because I exaggerated a lot in the last one. This is all true however. (Note: I had a very odd writing style because I thought nobody would ever read it)

AAARGH! I WANT SOMEONE TO EAT ME OUT NOW!!!

I'M SICK OF PORN. I WANT FUCKING!

My tits are getting bigger now. They are so s... Continue»
Posted by helenaserret 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Kitten In Heat

(Stepmother goes wild for her brash 19-year-old stepson)

I.
It was 6 a.m. and Kitty was down in the kitchen making eggs. Her usual uptight mannerisms, developed over the course of a two-year marriage to man that resembled a dopey eyed sloth, were suddenly being replaced with an easy grace as she shuffled around the kitchen.

Her full c-cup chest shifted comfortably in a small blue baby t-shirt as she wiggled her hips every so often to a happy beat that she hummed to herself.

Katherine, Kitty to her close friends, cracked three delicate white eggs and dropped the syrupy contents into a... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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How I'm Fucking a Scumbag Lawyer



My name is Erin. I'm a 19 year old girl living in Mount Shasta, California. Last month, i tried to log onto my teengirerin xhamster account:

http://xhamster.com/user/teengirerin

But i couldn't log on because xhamster said my password was invalid. Then i went to my account, in the same way as any other user would do, to see what was up. Turns out that this guy named Mike, a 51 year old lawyer & CPA living in California, has hacked into and hijacked my account. I'm really ticked off about it and this story is about how i'm... Continue»
Posted by teengirerin 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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The one night stand camping trip

Many years ago my roommates s****r was going to a small college about 3 hours drive from the house. My roommates s****r Cindy had been seeing a mutual friend of ours, Peter and my roommate had been seeing his s****rs roommate, Megan. One day my Roommate Matt told me that he and Peter had been talking to the girls and were planning a late fall camping trip at a state park near the town where the college was located. Matt also told me the girls had another roommate, Jess that wanted to come along and she could be my weekend date. I was a little leery of the situation since Matt tended to manipu... Continue»
Posted by dicktingle53 6 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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I couldn't help it

A lazy Sunday morning in bed. We are snuggling. Back to back. Butt to butt. I woke up first. He's still sl**ping. I turn around and lean over and kiss him on the neck. I look down and laugh to myself. When I kissed him, the last cum from last night's session dribbled out from his limp penis. I gingerly slip out of the bed, so that he doesn't wake up. I pull out the drawer on the stand by my side of the bed and find the new strap-on. This one is hot pink and 8 inches with pink straps. It's the same size as he is, maybe a quarter of an inch longer. I like that. He doesn't know that ... Continue»
Posted by Cunumdrum920 3 months ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor  |  
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Amanda

I would like to share with you the experience I have just been through in as much detail as possible. I will not disclose the names of the locations for various reasons.

Let me tell you a little bit about myself. My name is Bryce. I'm 22 years old, and have just graduated from a state university. I'm originally from a suburb of a city about 200 miles from my college, both in the same state. I'm 6 ft tall and weigh about 165 pounds…pretty "normal" build. I have brown hair, blue eyes, and am slightly tan. I've had longer hair a bit on the shaggy side for years, but now that I'm out working i... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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The Voyers That Got Away...

After graduating HS I became the girl that the guys I went to school with were curious about. 1 of them was 1 of my biggest crushes. He was twin and I was so into this weird little dude.

We crossed paths again while I was out 1 day and attending an event wit my s****r and we exchanged numbers. The look he gave me let me know why he wanted to exchange numbers. He wanted to fuck me. He knew it, I knew it & it was damn sure gonna happen!

The first time we got together he was shy,but so ready. He picked me up and we grabbed a bite to eat and I was just having a nite out with nothing in mind... Continue»
Posted by PeircedPlumpPleasure 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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My library teacher

When I was in grade 11 in high school I went for a holiday to Krom River with a few friends of mine. We were three boys and four girls. During the day we would water ski and have drinks on the boat. As we became d***k we all became horny and would fuck around on the boat. Helen was into blowjobs and she would suck one of us off, while Tiekie was madly into anal. One of us would oblige and fuck her ass, she always had lube with her. Greta was bi and she would let one of us fuck Karen, while Greta sat on her face or licked Karen's asshole.

At night we made a fire and had a braai, drinking aga... Continue»
Posted by hart45 4 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Xmas Pussy Party

Attended a friends Xmas party and boy did it turn into strip poker. Party lasted until 4am. 8 females and 10 guys. Everybody got fucked, pussy ate and dicks sucked. I mean dicks were getting sucked left and right. I saw one girl with dick up her assz that dick was huge. It was good clean fun. I got my pussy ate and ass hole licked. Then some much needed dick from my date. He was so excited. He had never been to such a party were one minute you was dancing and partying then next getting some ass. I took him in the a room with another female had her suck his dick some more. Then he stuck it in m... Continue»
Posted by Phatpussy714 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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World of Confusion

I first fell in love with transexuals when i first stumbled on a video called world of confusion, at first i was like oh yeah! this is gonna be a good porn one guy and three girls awesome, so then at first the guy is jerking off then all of a sudden these three females come out i was like about time now suck his cock, so this one female goes down on him then the other female start playing with the other females ass fingering it i was like oh yea! this is getting hot then out of nowhere he grabs one of the females by her g-string and starts pulling her panties down and then starts licking her p... Continue»
Posted by Ray3 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  
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ibiza night

It was 2002,I took a holiday to Ibiza with a girl I had been seeing for about a month,kind of a fuck buddy thing going on,well,to me it was. We booked the holiday for 10 days so there was plenty of time to fit a lot in,but mainly we were there for the clubs,the pills and the thrills,anyone that's been to ibiza will know what i'm talking about.Back home we were serious into clubbing too,that was our lifestyle cos we were young and enjoying ourselves.

Anyway one night we were out,I think it was at ''Space'',a well known club in ibiza, when we bumped into a group of girls from back home.I didn... Continue»
Posted by soupinapothot 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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It's Just a Game!

(A game of seduction that goes awry)

Chapter One - The Beginning

My name is Megan. My first marriage went bad because our sexual appetites conflicted; I was always suspicious of his ever increasing need for kinky sex.

"Don't I excite you anymore?" I'd ask. I never understood my husband's need for variety.

After the divorce I started dating Trent, It wasn't long and we were married. I suppose everyone suffers the banal existence of married life if they don't find a way to introduce some excitement into their lives. We were no different.

A couple years into our marriage Trent star... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Bus Ride With S*ster 1 by loyalsock

How could I refuse?

My s****r had two expensive tickets for a private bus tour through Southern California. It was the romantic kind of tour where couples would be taken from destination to destination on a large bus. And suddenly I was being pressured to go with her.

Let me explain: Our f****y has always been adventurous. Meaning, we traveled a lot, especially when Christine and I were young. Christine's then-boyfriend was well aware of that fact, and he surprised her with tickets for a 3-day tour.

However, plans changed when Christine discovered that her boyfriend had been cheating... Continue»
Posted by loyalsock 10 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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The dangers of Naughty Skyping

'What was I thinking, fucking stupid cow'. Yes I am talking about me, I walked into it, eyes wide closed, as the saying goes, but what fuck, sit back and let me tell you and see what you think, I promise I will be open, honest, and get right down into the knitty gritty, I wont miss anything out, then you will see just how much of a slut I am.
I was home while my husband was away on a job on an oil rig in India, we had been separated for five weeks and he was due home the following week, but had just informed me by email, he might be delayed as finding men were getting difficult so we would ha... Continue»
Posted by MarieL 3 years ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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on the farm, by prettygirl

When I was growing up I would spend my summers on my grandparents farm in NC. Its where I had the greates time of my life, the first time i saw the Bull and his balls that hung down to the ground. I was surprized he didn't kick them when he walk, and when I saw him get hard before doing his thing with the cows I almost fainted. My grandma saw me and laughed, she said don't worry not all men are that big thank god she added. I saw the pigs, goats and etc do it. The farm has a small river behind the barn where the chicken coop is. The strangest relationship I saw was my pet cat I calle... Continue»
Posted by prettygirl 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Headteacher's Punishment


As I lay on the cold hard pale blue tiled floor of the school's store-room, tied up helplessly by Kaylee and her mean little gang, with the humiliating 'Fart in My Face' sign she left by my head, I was visited and farted on by lots of the school teachers. Lucky for me, they were only the female teachers. I smelt lots of flavourful womanly farts that day, and it was finally coming towards the end of the school day.

The end of my embarrassing torture, or so I thought...

The very last visitor came into the store-room.

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!" The old cow yelled. It was my headte... Continue»
Posted by azid619 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Sons Are so Hard Haeded

Chapter 1 – Piling on Straws
"Brock!"
Oh shit, I was busted again. My mother, Roseanna, stared at me with a fiery gaze, her eyes
like penetrating lasers.
"How many times Brock! How many times do I have to tell you not to fist that, that, that big
filthy prick in my living-room!" mother yelled.
I sat completely still, silent and stunned with my mouth and eyes wide open. Mother must've
been really heated. I had heard her curse a few times already, but not regularly, and only once
before was it directed at me. Evidently I struck a nerve, a deep rooted nerve.
This made the third time that... Continue»
Posted by GmanDaveLXIX 6 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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