Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 67

Doggy-sitting

I did not write this story, I just love it and wanted to share, if this is your story and would like me to remove it just say so and I apologize in advance.

Doggy Sitting Adventure
by Dan Glingcock (dan.gling@email.com)

***

A couple doggy-sits a friend's dog for a few weeks and
find out how pleasurable it can be. (MF/b**st)

***

My wife and I have been married for 10 years. When I
grew up, my f****y always had cats and dogs so I was
very used a****ls. She, on the other hand, never had
pets, so she wasn't very comfortable around them. So we
never had a dog or a cat in t... Continue»
Posted by drew1207 11 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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on the farm, by prettygirl

When I was growing up I would spend my summers on my grandparents farm in NC. Its where I had the greates time of my life, the first time i saw the Bull and his balls that hung down to the ground. I was surprized he didn't kick them when he walk, and when I saw him get hard before doing his thing with the cows I almost fainted. My grandma saw me and laughed, she said don't worry not all men are that big thank god she added. I saw the pigs, goats and etc do it. The farm has a small river behind the barn where the chicken coop is. The strangest relationship I saw was my pet cat I calle... Continue»
Posted by prettygirl 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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A tube full of custard

"I wish they wouldn't fucking do that."

"What's the problem?"

"The video..."

"Yeah... so?"

"I just hate when they do that."

"You seemed to be getting well into it."

"I was! The women were gorgeous and the guy was hot. Some of the things there were pretty wild. But I hate it when they have a really good, steamy scene going, everybody's enjoying themselves, and then they end it as soon as the guy cums."

"You lost me..."

"Were we watching the same video?"

"Well... I was watching you quite a bit too..."

"Don't get cheeky... seriously! Is that where the male mind goes?... Continue»
Posted by mustbtuesday 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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The dangers of Naughty Skyping

'What was I thinking, fucking stupid cow'. Yes I am talking about me, I walked into it, eyes wide closed, as the saying goes, but what fuck, sit back and let me tell you and see what you think, I promise I will be open, honest, and get right down into the knitty gritty, I wont miss anything out, then you will see just how much of a slut I am.
I was home while my husband was away on a job on an oil rig in India, we had been separated for five weeks and he was due home the following week, but had just informed me by email, he might be delayed as finding men were getting difficult so we would ha... Continue»
Posted by MarieL 3 years ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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My first time dressed as a girl part 2

My First Time Dressed as a Girl, pt 2
(The events of this story are true and reflect what happened thirty years ago the first time I went all out and dressed as a female. The conversations in it may not be completely accurate, as this was a long time ago, but are as accurate as my memory and imagination of these past events can provide. A quick note for those who are coming upon this account for the first time; please read part one first so you will understand how I got to this part in the first place. ;-) )
Tracey and I laid there in front of the fireplace for a time enjoying the heat of th... Continue»
Posted by sbobbi66 1 year ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Syd and Meg (fantasies do come true)

SALLLLL! , IMMM HOOMEEEE!" the loud shrieking voice shattered the silence of quiet Saturday afternoon. Meg slammed the door and trotted across the living room in her open toe high heels, unloading an assortment of expensive looking shopping bags. "Thats funny... heyyyy! is anyone home?" her voice boomed up the stairs into the second floor rooms disrupting her 16 year old son from his daily masturbation rituals. He lay naked on his bed trying to block out her loud cries stroking his young cock. ( shut up.. will ya) he thought starting to get frustrated with her questions interrupting his tango ... Continue»
Posted by Johnnytames69 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Lovers Banging In Car

We knew it was not safe. At school, we loved being with each other, enjoying each other's company, cracking jokes and enjoying the time along with our studies. If we would get a chance, we would do some fondling and touching. The reason we couldn't take a chance again was because everyone had a doubt that we have crossed limits, and we didn't want to give our friends any chance of confirming their suspicion. Since we used to sit in the same horizontal row, even if the teacher was teaching, we were able to tease each other. Sometimes she would make some eye movements either pointing towards my ... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Kitten In Heat

(Stepmother goes wild for her brash 19-year-old stepson)

I.
It was 6 a.m. and Kitty was down in the kitchen making eggs. Her usual uptight mannerisms, developed over the course of a two-year marriage to man that resembled a dopey eyed sloth, were suddenly being replaced with an easy grace as she shuffled around the kitchen.

Her full c-cup chest shifted comfortably in a small blue baby t-shirt as she wiggled her hips every so often to a happy beat that she hummed to herself.

Katherine, Kitty to her close friends, cracked three delicate white eggs and dropped the syrupy contents into a... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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teasing mr kavanagh

Well what a day sun was shining for a change here in Ireland so my friend Amy and I took full advantage.
we wer going to go the beach but started talking about our tans and how much we hate tanlines and how my garden had high bushes so was out of view of all the houses bar my next door neighbour mr kavanagh.
we decided we would opt out of the beach and go topless out the back garden intead,nobody would be home till after 6 and mr kavanagh usually works during the day too so we thought why not lets go for it.
we were listening to music and tanning ourselves so we didnt hear any cars pull up ... Continue»
Posted by yoursnow 3 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Dating leads to Fun with neighbour

Hello Guys and Girls I’m Naren 23 years old from Chennai. I am a student. Well I don't like to praise my own personality by my own words but my friends opinion about my personality is that Dude, you can impress any female of this world whether married or unmarried, whether sound character or unsound by your personality with in no time.
I am here to narrate the best encounter of my life. I am eagerly waiting for the response and suggestions of my story readers and readers post your feedback or If you need any help you can mail me on chennainareshk@gmail.com
It was summer vacation. I was alone... Continue»
Posted by matterboy 2 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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honeymoon

A mother had 3 daughters. They were all getting married within a short time period. Because mom was a bit worried about how their sex lives would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.

The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but "Nescafe." Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to the kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar. It said: "Good till the last drop." Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.

The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after th... Continue»
Posted by bluechaser31 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The Pack and a Girl


"Kristy, honey, could you get the Peterson file for me?" Daddy asked, looking up
from his desk.

"Sure," I grumbled. I hated working for my dad at the kennel. All my friends got
to run around after school. My dad, on the other hand, thought this would be a
positive experience for me, and insisted that I spend some hours after school
and on the weekends working in the f****y business. I figure he also had a
secondary motive. Puberty was beginning to influence my eight teen year old body, so
my pert titties and rounded hips were just beginning to swell to womanly
proportions. I t... Continue»
Posted by drew1207 5 months ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Mothers milk

Mothers milk

Roby had just turned sixteen when this happened. He didn’t know what was next? He quickly was making his way down the hall to his room. He lay on his bed, butterflies churning in his stomach. He really wasn’t sure what was going on, but his body was telling him something. For the first time he had seen his mother not in the way he always had growing up, but in a much different way. He meant she aroused him. Yeah, he was sexually excited. He began to wonder if there was something wrong with him lusting after his own mother like this. He didn’t know.On the other hand, sinc... Continue»
Posted by nana414 4 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Bus Ride With S*ster 1 by loyalsock

How could I refuse?

My s****r had two expensive tickets for a private bus tour through Southern California. It was the romantic kind of tour where couples would be taken from destination to destination on a large bus. And suddenly I was being pressured to go with her.

Let me explain: Our f****y has always been adventurous. Meaning, we traveled a lot, especially when Christine and I were young. Christine's then-boyfriend was well aware of that fact, and he surprised her with tickets for a 3-day tour.

However, plans changed when Christine discovered that her boyfriend had been cheating... Continue»
Posted by loyalsock 1 month ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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I'm not Gay

I'm not gay, but my new flatmate is. His name is Mike (not his real name. His real name is Jayson.) I'm straight, and I've never really had much contact with gay guys. He seemed alright though, and a couple of nights after he moved in, we had a few drinks and a chat and got to know each other. He's really cool, and we have heaps in common. We've both just broken up with people, we both think relationships suck right now, and we both like white wine and Futurama. I think I'm gonna enjoy having a gay friend.
With no sex I keep waking up horny. A week ago I was in the shower, and I got out... Continue»
Posted by fed3rico 4 years ago  |  Categories: Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  
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No longer a virgin...details of the following mont

See http://xhamster.com/user/querico44/posts/31230.html for the original story.

During the months following my 13th bday and the experience I had with Lisa my sitter popping my cherry, my Mom began to wonder why I always wanted her to call Lisa whenever I needed a sitter. She asked me why Lisa was my favorite and no one else would do. I tried to explain that Lisa was so good at entertaining me and she was always happy to play any of the games I liked with me. Mom said it was nice to know we were able to have so much fun together and that we got along so well, she must be a very good sitter ... Continue»
Posted by querico44 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Development of a Lesbian - Bonus

Hey everyone. I got a pretty good response to my last story so I'm going to post something I discovered on my old hard drive - my writings from when I was about 14-16. When I was younger I used to write what was on my mind, so here it is! Also, if you notice any differences in this story and the last, its because I exaggerated a lot in the last one. This is all true however. (Note: I had a very odd writing style because I thought nobody would ever read it)

AAARGH! I WANT SOMEONE TO EAT ME OUT NOW!!!

I'M SICK OF PORN. I WANT FUCKING!

My tits are getting bigger now. They are so s... Continue»
Posted by helenaserret 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Allison

Allison was so excited! She slowly pulled on her thong,
then her cotton shorts, then her cut off tee shirt
which barely covered her braless 32B breasts. She
polished her toe ring and applied pink polish to her
toenails and put on her little gold ankle bracelet.
Then she combed out her shoulder length blond hair and
walked to her full length mirror.

"Hot!" Allison exclaimed as she looked at her tan,
scantily clad 13 year old nymphet body. She was about
to meet her first online boyfriend, a sexy 14 year old
named Kyle. Allison loved to tease boys online, posting
suggestive... Continue»
Posted by drew1207 11 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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THE MYSTERY OF THE BATON ROUGE

The name's Jack Wayne. I'm a private detective. It all began on a
sweltering Friday in June. I was sitting behind my desk thumbing
through a paperback of "9 & 1/2 Weeks" and sipping a glass of
bourbon when my secretary stuck her head into the office.

"Hey, Jack." she said in an annoying tone. "Jack, put the book
down for a minute!"

"What is it with you?" I growled. "You always butt in right when
I'm getting to the best page, Betty!"

"Excuse me for interrupting your reading hour!" she replied,
tossing ... Continue»
Posted by meatloaf90 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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It's Just a Game!

(A game of seduction that goes awry)

Chapter One - The Beginning

My name is Megan. My first marriage went bad because our sexual appetites conflicted; I was always suspicious of his ever increasing need for kinky sex.

"Don't I excite you anymore?" I'd ask. I never understood my husband's need for variety.

After the divorce I started dating Trent, It wasn't long and we were married. I suppose everyone suffers the banal existence of married life if they don't find a way to introduce some excitement into their lives. We were no different.

A couple years into our marriage Trent star... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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