Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 67

Massage with a Happy Ending.

It’s been a rough couple weeks as being new parents the stress is really getting to us. With no time for fun times and me generally feeling down so getting a break is a rare thing.

Arriving late afternoon tension is high having had a harsh discussion earlier on in the week and just not feeling the love seeing bappy was something that I wasn’t overly excited about, that was until our wee one was babysat by his mammy that evening.

Now for the readers who know us better through our past stories passion is usually big between us because I don’t “diy” and I wait until I’m with him before pl... Continue»
Posted by maaao 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 812  |  
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Quietly Watching

I was 16 and dating the sexiest girl I've ever known. She had huge, firm tits, a perfectly round ass and the sweetest curves imaginable. Well, my best female friend was having a house party while her parents were out of town. There were maybe 15 people there, not a large crowd, but a bunch of us stayed over for the night.

My girl and I crashed in the living room... as did the hostess and another friend of ours. It was only a few minutes after the room had gone quiet when I started to gently caress my girl's delicious behind. She rubbed herself up against my leg and I could instantly ... Continue»
Posted by spudrico27 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 3143  |  
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I Just Fucked a Virgin

My wife and I had another one of our legendary fights and I decided to just go stay at a hotel for the night and just relax. The clerk stared at me kind of funny when I went to check in at 9pm and didn't have any ID. I explained to him the fight with my wife and how I'd left my wallet at home and the story about my emergency cash stash in the car and, with a $100 tip, I soon had a no-questions-asked room with double queens.

After dropping off my bag I went down to the restaurant and got in a quick bite. I had a rum & cola with the dinner that I didn't even touch so I just took it back to t... Continue»
Posted by PureCoffee 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 4379  |  
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My naughty s****r cumming into my bedroom at night

When we were young my s****r would sneak into my bedroom at the end of the hall and would. Curiously pull back the blanket and take my dick out of my under wear and look at it and fell it. I was about 16 she was 14. I had sex before and she never has but I did see her with moms dildo in her pussy before! She would come into my room almost every night and play with my dick. I would move a little and she would duck under the bed. She figured I was sl**ping. So after about two week of this she got a little braver and put her soft lips around my cock for just a second and when she did it again I r... Continue»
Posted by Richard234 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 7052  |  
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The Creation Of The Vagina

My 2nd Story:
The Creation Of The Vagina


There were seven wise men so fine.
creating a pussy to thier design.
The first was a butcher, Short and wit, using a knife he created a slit.
The second was a sculptor, strong and bold, using a hammer and chisel he created a hole.
The third was a hunter, short and stout, using the fur of a fox he lined it without.
The fourth was a fisherman, nasty as hell, he threw in a fish giving it the smell.
The fifth was a chef, short and big around the waste, he sprinkled some salt giving it a salty taste.
The sixith was a milk man, Tall and thin, he ... Continue»
Posted by Ari32 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 423  |  
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The night of my LIFE!

My name is justin and this is my story. Well for starters I am a 5'7 male very strong build ( I play football) and I am apparently socially accepted.

It all happened on one random lonely warm night. Nothing out of place or in favor to clue a hint to this leading up to what would possibly be the most extreme not of my young life. I am a computer junky and its all I know (besides football). I live in an apartment building above my Aunt and her f****y of 5. Her second older daughter being the same age as me. Our entire lives we competed to see who was the best. We were always the same height.... Continue»
Posted by DrLoveMonkey 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 2062  |  
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My 4 inch dick story...

This post is about how, to some of you, size DOES matter…a lot! As you can see, I am at the other end of the spectrum at 4.5 inches. Does this bother me? Yes and no. Let me start at the beginning and I think you’ll see what I mean…

My first girlfriend was very devoted to me as a person but unfortunately she couldn’t really feel much when we made love. Over time since she knew what a high sex drive I had she would take dick and start jerking me off. After a couple of minutes she always said her arm was getting tired which meant that she wanted me to finish myself off. This became the norm af... Continue»
Posted by fourinches 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1147  |  
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Dad is boss

I have a strange story. My dad had a high sex drive and I could hear he and mom fuck many times every night. He also fucked her every morning before they got up. My room was next to theirs and I could hear it all. I was the oldest of four k**s. I had two s****rs and a b*****r younger than me. We were all home schooled and seldom left our farm. My mom was a sexy looking woman and dad was very handsome. I could see why they fucked all the time. I walked in the kitchen one time when dad had his hand under moms dress and was fingering her pussy as she stood in front of the sink. When I walked in h... Continue»
Posted by justfordaddy 8 months ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 13206  |  
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Fist visit to my sexy new female doctor

Yesterday I went to the doctor because i felt like i was peeing too much, i'm sitting in the waiting room and the doctor calls me, and she is the hottest woman i have ever seen. Late 20s/early 30s, gorgeous middle-eastern face, nice curvy lips, big dark eyes. She's very friendly with a thick Persian accent which i find very sexy. i explained to her my situation, and then she asked if i was sexually active, and i said no a bit too quickly, and she looked surprised for a second. She got me to pee in a jar, dipped the testing strip, and came over to show me the results. She got me to hold one end... Continue»
Posted by wet20 8 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Shemales  |  Views: 4138  |  
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Doctors Visit

I walked into the doctors office, the nurse took my weight and checked my bl**d pressure than took me to a room and said go ahead and take your clothes off, the doctor will be with you soon.

I’m a petite woman at 5’2, small with perky breast (so I’ve been told) a nice little firm and bubbly butt and yes, I am a proud owner of one of the thickest pussy out there, my lips are so huge it can cover most of anyone’s face who likes to eat.

Anyway, I disrobed and lied down on the chair, the room was a bit chilly and my nipples were solid hard, it took the doctor 10 minutes to come in the room. ... Continue»
Posted by dlbiblkm 1 year ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 6696  |  
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My first time with John

This is the true story about my first time with a guy. It happened about 8 years ago.


John and I had been friends since we were about 6 years old. We did just about everything together. We were, and still are, best friends. One evening we decided to go to the gym and work out. The place was just about empty. We had the place to ourselves for the most part. I wasn’t as into the work out as John was. I decided to call it quits and hit the showers. John decided to stay and lift some more.


Since the place was empty I was in the showers alone. I was thinking about the killer blowjob that ... Continue»
Posted by jock1982 8 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 5062  |  
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Farm job

My wife and I own alot of property,and a few horses.I am 6 foot tall 220 and about 8 inches.She is 5'2 about 140 and has 38dd tits,mm nice. Ok we got a horse that was about 2 years old.One day it seemed to be a little down so i called the vet.Lora asked me what the vet said. "he said the horse,Sam we called him,was in need of some attention.he said if I jerk it off the thing will be fine." She laughed.So reluctant to do it i asked my wife if she would please help me.It took some persuation but it was for Sam's health so she finally agreed to help,but seemed disgusted be it.
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... Continue»
Posted by sexybirsen 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 6073  |  
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Funniest story ever!! ...Enjoy

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful younger s****r.

My prospective s****r-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate because she never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day her 'little' s****r called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I ... Continue»
Posted by thedurbnow 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 2144  |  
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Malini having sex with milkman

When Malini got married to Devender, people who attended their wedding said the match is not alright. Because Malini was a cute short statured, delicate beauty, whereas Devemder was a seven footer, with large limbs fit for a basket ball player or a boxer. Malini had done her graduation in Hindi and Devender also did his grad. and was working in a govt. office.

He liked to eat good and tasty food and malini was an expert cook. But in the bedroom he was a brute. He never talked to her small niceties or did anything by way of foreplay. When he feels like sex, he just sticks his penis into her ... Continue»
Posted by lildudexst 1 year ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1050  |  
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The Dentist Put Her Under and Put It in Her

"It's a wreck, is what it is," Tommy Cordova half mumbled through the gauze of the surgical mask, his face bent closely to Kate's face, the polished steel mirror working to varying angles in her mouth.

I heard Kate stifle a sob, her right eye doing a minute tic towards where I stood, arms crossed, sagged in the corner of the exam room.

Tommy straightened up after another moment and slipped the magnified safety glasses off his face. "Two molars are shot. The one furthest back looks okay."

"I don't want 'em pulled," Kate mumbled, lifting up in the dental chair just a bit.

"Gotta come... Continue»
Posted by PureCoffee 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 5336  |  
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My best friend got lucky and shared with me

My best friend when I was 16 lived 2 doors down. We did most everything together. We'd go to the mall, movies and swam at the pool. Today we were going to go to the pool after school. He told me to come to his house when I was ready. We had known each other for years, our families too. It was normal for us to just walk in each others house like f****y. I had changed my clothes when I got home and went to his house, walking in as usual and headed to his room. When I reached his door, which was half open, I stopped. Looking in I saw he was naked laying on the bed, and his step-s****r was sucking... Continue»
Posted by querico44 3 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 2624  |  
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Surprise!

Here I was, on a Sunday night, going in the club to have some fun.
After few hours of dancing and drinking, one pretty girl came and asked me to dance with her. Looking at her I saw that she`s not a "grenade" so I was thinking maybe I will have some fun tonight so we started dancing. After a while I started rubbing her ass, then I kissed her...OMG she was such a good kisser.
After she broke the kiss she asked me to come to her place and I was so excited that i took her hand and put it to feel my boner.
She gigled and we start walking to her place.
As soon as we arrived..i couldnt stop ki... Continue»
Posted by mercander 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  Views: 2092  |  
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Velma cums clean with Shaggy

Shaggy felt cold slobber on his face, waking him immediately. "Oh man, Scooby..." he groaned. Scooby-Doo, his Great Dane, began giggling and licked his face again. Shaggy responded by a scratch between his brown ears. "Norville!!" a female voice called from upstairs. "Come and get breakfast!"

"Mom, like, stop calling me that!"

"As long as you're still living in my basement, I'll call you whatever I like, now get your breakfast!"

Shaggy looked at Scooby and said, "Like, well, let's get something to eat." Food was his primary motivation in doing anything.

Shaggy ran up the stairs, cl... Continue»
Posted by shmoe13 3 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1058  |  
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I REALLY LOVE YOUNG COCK 2

I REALLY LOVE YOUNG COCK
PART 2.

Andrew had asked me and the boys out to celebrate his 19th birthday next week but my husband was coming home early from his trip abroad so I had to ring Andrew and tell him that we couldn’t make it and the reason why,

Oh that’s’ ok Mrs. Miller I do understand there was a hint of disappointment in his voice,
I’ll tell you what how about you come over to my house as you normally do next Friday and instead of me going out with the girls,
I can do you and the boys a meal and have a late celebration for your birthday how does that sound?
That’s great Mrs.... Continue»
Posted by bobbyblue53 5 months ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 7114  |  
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k**napped!


A little lesbian tale of sex slavery that I hope you will find amusing.


It had been, frankly, a rather wretched Friday. It started badly when Mr Jameson, the chief librarian, trapped me (again) in Maritime History (M to R) and practically wrestled me to the floor. When I told him for the umpteenth time that my interests lay in a different direction, he rather breezily replied that he was 'up for a 69 if that's what you mean'. Eventually I fought him off with a leather bound copy of A History of Nelson (Vol 2). Then, over lunch I had to listen to Maure... Continue»
Posted by Sapphiclover 4 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1124  |  
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