Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 67

Joke..!!!

Little Johnny's teacher got up in front of the class and announced they were going to play a guessing game! The teacher said, "I have something behind my back. It's red in color and round. It's soft, but it's hard."

Johnny raised his hand and said, "I know, it's a red rubber ball." The teacher said, "No Johnny, it's an apple, but I like the way that you think."

The teacher grabbed another object and put it behind her back. "I have something behind my back. It's orange in color and round. It's soft, but it's hard," said Johnny's teacher.

Johnny raised his hand again and said, "Teacher ... Continue»
Posted by papa61 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 1882  |  
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A Happy Thanksgiving With My Cousin

This story is completely fictional!

It had been a few months since I had seen my cousin Sara and when she got to my house for thanksgiving I was stunned at how sexy she looked. Since I had seen her last, she had cut her hair and more importantly developed a nice set of tits. Not too big and not too small, just perfect for a track runner like she was. She had a slim body but perfect ass which I loved to stare at. When everyone arrived I took their coats and threw them on my bed, Sara came with me and threw a few coats down too. She commented on how messy my room was and laughed when she s
... Continue»
Posted by faddy02 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 732  |  
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STREET STORIES: Malina and her Dogs

MALINA
By Webb


After finishing my time in the service I came back to Tampa this was mid ’97. My b*****r introduced me to his circle of friends and I hit off with all of them pretty well. They all smoked a ton of weed and back then they were heavy into video games. I’m no gamer but it was good company at the time. We would all congregate at a guy named Jeff’s house. People would fall through the spot, rollup and listen to good hip-hop.




There were a few girls that would come through the spot as well and one of them was Malina. Malina was white about 26 years old with shoulder le... Continue»
Posted by webborelly 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1092  |  
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Another Vacation

Have you ever had that friend that you imagine what they look like naked? Well my s****r's mother-in-law is a woman I wanted to see naked. She is 62 years of sexy, soft silky legs, reddish brown curly hair, nipples that poke your eyes out with pleasure. As we spend Labor Day weekend at a Resort. Relaxing in the indoor water park, watching her float on the lazy river all spread out on a tub. OH... how I like to feast on that camel toe, she was sporting. I had to get a tub and float on my stomach and catch up to her as she floats on the back side through a tunnel. She had her back to me as I pad... Continue»
Posted by Gehld 1 year ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1183  |  
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Hot Sex

We had spicy egg fried rice for dinner last night, chef sat in the living room chopping the veg and chillies ready for the rice that was sat steaming on the hob. Fast forward ten minutes to me being accosted on the stairs on route for a quick pre dinner bath. Sex on the stairs is always a good thing, there's something wonderfully naughty about having sex in a none sex designated zone .He ripped my jeans off, slammed me down on my back and slid his cock straight up inside me. If we had left it there we would have been fine. However sexy genius here decided it would be fun to taste herself ... Continue»
Posted by duggie666 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 627  |  
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The Layover

Stephen Brooks, a rather average sort of fella on the wrong side of 30 slowly opened the door of his Towncar and ducked out into the muggy afternoon air of Dallas Texas. Before him was the Airport and annoyingly beyond that a five hour plane flight back to New York.

As he grabbed his bags from the trunk it dawned on him that he had in all likelihood spent more time in the air in the past month then birds do in their entire lives.
Stephen was in Dallas overseeing the construction of a new Distribution hub for his Company and at the end of the week would fly back home to New York to give in... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 5 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 833  |  
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Enjoying during studying in college

That happened to me when I studied at the University. I didn’t live with my parents because in this city we didn’t have a house or some relatives or even friends. I was late to get my name on the list to the college hostel, so I had to rent accommodation just a few blocks from the campus. There were 2 of us, 2 girls who rented one apartment, because it was a bit cheaper for us both to share accommodation fees.
I walked in to the apartment I shared with another girl named Lucy. It was late Friday night. I had been in the library, preparing for my exams on the next Monday. The living room was i... Continue»
Posted by urpussysucker 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 800  |  
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A Trip To The Mall Proves Messy

I really hate going shopping around the holidays. My wife has shopping lists the length of her arm and sometimes if I don’t go with her she’ll spend money like there’s no tomorrow. But I can only take so much walking around in those damn malls. I can’t keep my damn eyes focused on where I am supposed to be going and wind up walking into other people because of all the damn eye candy in the damn place. I have never seen so much damn young pussy walking around in one place in my life. The ratio must be 15 females to each guy. And when I say girls I mean the average female must only be 18 or 19 y... Continue»
Posted by bigsoftee 1 year ago  |  Categories: Anal, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 4159  |  
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shaving my arse




Guest


Before shaving your ass hair, READ THIS



STOP! Before you do, read this. You may change your mind.

I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to all though tasteless, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble pooping. No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique.
It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I ... Continue»
Posted by chairmanmoo 1 year ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 563  |  
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The New Sexual Awakening Part 4

Trevor found himself lying half naked in a bush, his shirt was off and his pants were around his ankles.

"How did I get here!" he asked himself.

He looked around at his surroundings and as he picked up his clothes which were strewn across the yard his memory came flooding back.

Several hours earlier...

Trevor had made a huge mess of things. His Spring Break visit was supposed to be a time to reconnect with his f****y but instead he brought a boozed up Bar Fly home for a romp in his Superman sheets.

After a weekend of apologising he had finally set things right with his mother ... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 718  |  
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nurse

Mr Bartholomew was the perfect patient, quiet, polite and when he spoke, interesting and interested.
He had been on the ward for about a month when he was transferred to one of the private rooms under my care. He was recovering from a cycling accident, as far as I could tell he had been training for a cycling race when he was hit by a car. He didn't speak about his accident but he had cruched ribs and was more or less immobile until they healed.
I used to make sure I was the one who did the bulk of the caring for Mr Bartholemew, I told myself it was because it was important to his heal... Continue»
Posted by celcus 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 1237  |  
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Quickie Sensual Blowjob

Alright people this is my first attempt at a short story and it came from the help of an xhamster friend, thanks "Mouthlove"

I would choose the one next to her with the sensual and sexy face and the piercing eyes. Now how would like for her to please me well I would have to say while we were at a private night club and we had a semi secluded table and we had been flirting and teasing each other immensely and so she tells me to sit back and relax and she has a gift and surprise for me so she slides down my body and lowers my zipper and pulls out my cock and slowly starts to lick around the ... Continue»
Posted by flmixxer40 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 244  |  
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Katy's Reluctant New Look Ch. 01

(Sexy conservative wife is put into uncomfortable situations)

"You look so good in your Calvin Klein suit, darling!" I told Jake as he hurried out the door with his orange juice sloshing out of the glass and across his fingers. He was running late for the sales meeting at the brokerage.

I love my husband so much! He's not one of those pretty boy types. Instead, he's a man's man; big, strong and very capable of taking care of himself in any situation, physical or otherwise! Jake's the kind of guy that knows what he wants and gets it. I guess that's why he has me!

"Thanks, Katy! You kno... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 837  |  
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I LOST A BET FOR MY WIFE

I LOST A BET FOR MY WIFE.

I meet this guy in a bar one night while on a business trip and we got talking as we both sat at the bar drinking, I had never seen him before so we were complete strangers we got onto the subject of being married and what our wives did for a job and so on,
Then he told me that his wife was a really hot sexy woman and showed me a photo of her she was certainly very sexy with long legs and a very big bust and asked me what my wife was like,
I told him that my wife was also very sexy and that I didn’t have a full body photo only her face so I showed him,
‘Wow your... Continue»
Posted by bobbyblue53 8 days ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 5518  |  
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My bestfriends dad and me

ok this is the most weird day i had and its true. one day me and my friend planned a sl**pover at her house, we got to her bed room and she said she forgot something down stairs and she left me upstairs. im thinking "what a ass" and i hear the door across the hallway opening and their he was, her dad sexy,strong,six pack,young, and had cute brown hair,hotter then hell i blushed when he seen me and he smiled and said "oh you must be my little girls bestie" and laughed i laughed to and said yes, Oh lol so might want the part when it was night and my friend left to get food for a long time..... i... Continue»
Posted by babychiken44 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 2310  |  
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Joke for today

WY

An Englishman was holidaying in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. One day they were strolling along a nude beach when they noticed a naked Black local also strolling towards them.

The Black guy notices the white guy has '" WY" tattooed on his penis and asks what it stands for? The white guy says .. Well when I get an erection it spells my girlfriends name " WENDY " , The surprised white guy sees that the Black guy also has " WY " tattooed on his penis and asks what it stands for?

The black guy says , well when I get an erection it spells " WE... Continue»
Posted by cocoabutter 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 743  |  
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Paybacks Are A Bitch

"Fuck you, you fucking low cunt she screamed." " Fuck You,Fuck You,Fuck You That Hurt"
Over and over again. Each "Fuck You" was punctuated by a flying object.
Both pillows whistled past my head, followed by the bedside clock, my wallet from the nightstand and 2 mobile phones.
Jesus she was angry.
I tried to explain.. but she wasn't in any mood to listed... I pleaded..."It was an accident"... really.
My cock went up her arse. I was just fucking her doggie style and pulled back to really ram it home and it came out. Instead of using my hand to guide it back into her cunt I just pushed and ... Continue»
Posted by bardeen 1 month ago  |  Categories: Anal, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 3225  |  
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Come Out of the Closet

Hello homofag... I think it's time for you to come out of the closet! The truth is, everyone probably thinks you are gay, so I'm sure it won't be much of a surprise to your friends and f****y but I'll still help you out yourself to them.  This is a step by step assignment that well require you to gather all kinds of incriminating evidence about your queer double life to ultimately seal your fate in exposing yourself to everyone for what you really are!  Once you complete these steps, there will be no turning back for you bitch and then everyone will know the truth that you're really a flaming ... Continue»
Posted by faggitkiki 1 year ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  Views: 351  |  
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Typical Teenager

I have always had a great relationship with my Nephew “tubs” his real name is Shaun and I think I am the only person who has a nickname for him which is not directly connected with his almost luminous ginger hair, which he hates.
Susan my girlfriend has not the same soft spot for tubs as his typical hyper-active teenage antics and cheek get right on her nerves and since he has turned thirteen he seems to have developed an unhealthy obsession with Susan’s underwear. She caught him raking through the washing basket and laying out her thongs and bras for close inspection, he thought she was on t... Continue»
Posted by award6 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 2840  |  
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Jane and the Belly Dancer

Jane and the Belly Dancer

We resumed fucking and for the first time in my life I began to feel sick to my
stomach while having sex. It was time to resume my self coaching.

"This is how I'm gonna someday make THE BIG BUCKS! Just a few more minutes.
Oh shit look at those tits bounce! The way she's moving her legs. OMG OMG OMG!

***********************************************************************

I gazed into the full length mirror inside the dressing room and admired
my new makeover. There was fresh make up on my face which for the first
time ever, included f... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  Views: 808  |  
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