Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 67
Back in the days when hubby and I were still more together than apart we were walking one day by the front.Not in season...not specially warm...not many about.
We saw him at the same time,standing on his own with his head bowed tied to a rail.Don't know if he was alone but there was nobody about and he looked rather sad.As we drew closer hubby said "Fuckin' hell! Look at that"...
I could see the massive cock swinging between his legs and I thought I wouldn't be sad with a cock like that to play with.
Don't ever fucking dare to say that my shitbag hubby and I are kindred spirits but as I... Continue»
Alice was about 45 when I met her, she was Irish and a Catholic and had 5 daughters. Her husband was a typical Mick, thick as two planks and a piss head. He would beat her every night when he got back from the pub but for the last 10 years he never fucked her she was just his blowjob machine. He had little regard for personnel hygiene, didn't shave, didn't even brush his teeth but he thought he was gods gift to women.
Alice is a thin woman with long brown hair her tits just about fill a hand but her nipples are nearly an inch long when erect. Alice just doesn't have an ounce of fat on her bod... Continue»
A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a
couple of strokes. The golfer says to himself, "I'd give anything to
sink this next putt."
A stranger walks up to him and whispers, "Would you give up a fourth
of your sex life?"
The golfer thinks the man is crazy and that his answer will be
meaningless but also that perhaps this is a good omen and will put him
in the right frame of mind to make the difficult putt and says, "OK."
And sinks the putt.
Two holes later he mumbles to himself, "Boy, if I could only get an
eagle on this hole."
The same stranger ... Continue»
I am 22 years old student. I am studying nursing and in order to help my widow mother financially, I work part time at the house of Mr. and Mrs. Sharma, a lovely couple. Mr Sharma is in his forties while Mrs Sharma is much younger. Her husband met with an accident and has suffered concussion and broken ribs and many deep injuries. Mrs Sharma is a gorgeous looking woman who is modern minded.
My duty is to look after her husband while she is out most of time shopping or with her friends. I often give sedatives to Mr Sharma so that he can have a peaceful sl**p. I once saw a collection of porn... Continue»
My husband and I had gone on this trip to get away from our jobs, the k**s, and everything else that seemed to have us burned out. We stayed at this really nice hotel and we fucked like teenagers. My husband fucked me every chance he got. We went to this party at a big house, it had several levels and decks. We were mingling and drinking. I had a really good buzz going when my husband and I stumbled on a secluded hot tub. There was a guy already in the tub, we thought that if we started making out he would get out and go away. We started making out and getting very involved. I decided that I w... Continue»
Today was the most horrible day of my life. It all started going wrong when my old boss (and I do mean 'old'), Mr. Schmidt, took a leave of absence due to health reasons. He was old, but he was also a secretary's dream boss. Okay, he was a little wrinkly and a little smelly, which made it no fun going down on him, but on the bright side, I only had to go down on him once . . . maybe twice a week. He would even ask my opinion on things and pretty much let me take care of most of his assignments without a lot of interference. And a woman being able to work without a lot of interfe... Continue»
An Italian man enters his favorite ritzy restaurant and while sitting at his regular table, he notices a gorgeous woman sitting at a nearby table. ...Alone. He calls the waiter over and asks for the most expensive bottle of Merlot to be sent over to her, knowing that if she accepts it, she will be his. The waiter gets the bottle and quickly takes it to her saying who it came from. She looks at the bottle and decides to send a note over to the man. The note said "For me to accept this bottle, you must have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank , and 7 inches in your pants.." ... Continue»
I have had to stay indoors due to my s****r’s bad behaviour(and my lack of supervision of her). Im 24(25 next week oh I feel old lol) but as I have said before am treated like a k** but still free rent so I can’t moan too much.
Anyway this meant I was not able to get my usual chav lad fix. However I was determined to get fucked off their bad cocks. They knew where I lived and knew it would be a matter of time before they came around to give me a good seeing to.
I was in my bedroom getting dressed for bed when I heard a knock on my window. I knew it was them and was really excited as I ... Continue»
Damn, I hated the noise. No matter where you went, it was the same. Somehow, the deejays around the world must have all gone to the same identical music store. There, they learned to turn the volume up until it hurt and loudspeakers only produced distortion.
Even here at the bar, it was near impossible to hear the barmaid. She showed me four fingers, meaning four dollars for my beer. I wondered what sign she would make for five dollars and seventy-five cents? She was a beautiful woman with reddish hair and a little bit shorter than me. Maybe five foot six. Like most barmaids, she was dresse... Continue»
I was on holiday in Greece, and one of the bonuses is that topless sunbathing is commonplace. I would sit by the hotel pool, with my mirrored shades on, watchng the girls and admiring the variety of naked breasts.
I had noticed a German girl, maybe about 19 or so, on holiday with her parents (!) They would just sprawl on sun loungers all day and fry. The girl was clearly totally bored by the situation. She would sit by the pool edge, training a leg in the water and reading a book, occasionally getting up and wandering off for an hour or so, before returning.
She was no great looker, tall... Continue»
I went to see my male physiologist to talk about the wet dream I am having. Here is how I had explained the dream, 'I was playing a role as a sexy housewife to my husband, I am wearing nothing underneath my bathrode. I just finish taking a hot bubble bath, my pussy was still soak and wet, my husband is laying on the bed watching TV with his dick stand out of his underpant. I took off my bathrode, walk over to my husband, and begin to suck on his hard rock dick. I suck his dick like a lollipop, I can feel his head going toward my deep throat. Slurping, and licking on his dick nice and fast... Continue»
This is the time during the night that I miss you most of all.
When you’re here licking my cock and sucking on my balls.
I can hear your erotic cries and I can hear you having a fit,
I can hear you losing your mind whenever I’m sucking on your clit.
I feel your breath upon my skin, your eyes locked into me.
Although the room is very dark, I wonder what you see.
Your soft caress reaches out, touching me as I touch you,
My fingers reach your lava hot snatch as I start to finger you.
I hear you moan my name as you move about,
Then I fingered you even harder as you cried out loud.
I ... Continue»
one fact about hispanic teens in hispanic countries, that is taboo is as follow: Teens (hispanics) from 13 and 25 and even well in their adult hood, when they start discovering their bodies, they get help from other teens of the same sex, mostly in the male gender, they would learn how to give oral sex. they will start with jerk off circles or two somes, the obvious gay ones, would be the ones who would give oral sex and mostly the one who would take it up the ass. If these teens don't find a wife, or can't find a girlfriendwhile in their mid thirties, they will continue this type of sex well ... Continue»
Continued on from my story.
so christmas has come and gone.
It was a rather hectic one. 24-27th of christmas at my parents house and the 27th-30th was at my darling bappys. so many good memories. so much to catch up on eh.
over the christmas period i'd come to realize all relationships were based around sex even if they say it doesn't. women use it for their own advantage, men use it as a release of pressure and its been proven in my relationship recently. christmas came with a strawberry flavour and some dirty talk driving the parents to leaving the house as soon as they heard the b... Continue»
Take a moment to think about what you and your guy usually do after sex. Chances are, it’s sl**p, eat, or flip on the TV. Not exactly romantic, especially considering that the few hours afterward are one of the best times to bond. “When you orgasm, hormones are released that make you feel more connected,” says clinical sexologist Rachael Ross, MD, PhD. “Take advantage of that by doing things to prolong the feeling.” But that doesn’t mean intense conversations or eye gazing—little gestures can reap big benefits. Try these tips tonight.
1. If you’re hungry, forgo ordering a pizza and instead... Continue»
Lucy Sky, 24, happily married with two c***dren, had a very straight religious up-bringing. She learned already very early in life, that as a true believer you have to condemn the sin but to love the sinner - and she definitely seems to love both of them equally. She is a conqueror, a temptress and a teaser, but only in her erotic fantasies:
»You were masturbating in the dormitory again - s****r Noris heard you! How many cautions did you get already?« »Two, Father Anselm!« »And: do you confess?« »Oh yeah, Father Anselm, I do?« »So: all my prayers were in vain? You still are a naughty woma... Continue»
A few months ago my husband and I looked at all different brands of the vibration platform physical fitness machines displayed at a Zoomer Show. After testing all of the exercise positions shown on the visual guide (particularly the sitting ones), I decided that the Turbovibe Light suited my personal requirements the best. I particularly liked the dual motors concept and the flexibility of the electronic remote programming features. All of the other machines at the show had a complex superstructure that I felt impeded diagonal access to the plate area, thus limiting my inventive routines.
I stand in front of the mirror with my popular group of friends which stand beside me, making sure their tits are plunged out for the boys and makeup/ hair is perfect. I'm the leader of the popular possy because I'd been friends with them all the time. Sydney, the sexy latina with a curved ass, Meghan, the hot blonde with the smooth stomach, Hailey, the perfect blue eyed sex goddess with the huge tits, and me, Taylor, the beautiful long blonde hair, perfect curved ass and huge sexy tities. (The word "tities" makes me laugh all the time XD). My best friend Sydney comes from behind me after chan... Continue»
Mera nam Preetam hai. Meri umar 19 saal ki hai. Ghar par mere alawa kewal mere bhaiya Mohan aur bhabhi Anu hi hain. 2 saal pahle bhaiya ki shaadi huyee hai. Bhabi maayke gayee thi. Bhabhi jab wapas aayee to unke saath unki chhoti bahan Sapna bhi hamare ghar aayee. Wo bahut hi khoobsurat aur bahut hi chanchal thi. Uski umar lagbhag 17 saal ki thi. Wo mujhe bhi jija kahti thi aur bahut mazak karti thi. Bhabhi ne use mere room ke bagal wala room de diya tha. Ek din raat ko main bathroom jaa raha tha to maine dekha wo bahut hi dhyan se key hole se bhaiya ke room mein dekh rahi thi. Gallery mein ek... Continue»
Okay I've read a lot of shit hear and by that I mean absolute shit. It's the difference between things that are so "porn fantasy" and the reality of sexual encounters - no matter how freaky that are totally true. This is one of those true stories.
I was a senior in high school. I had been a foreign exchange student for a year living in Brasil. Many stories can come from that adventure. I was 17 years old and I was a typical teenager - girl crazy. I had dates and fun but to be true I had never really had anything like a sex before. I had a couple of girls let me after much physical persuasion... Continue»