Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 66
True story as my darling bappy currently fondles my boobs. its not the easiest job for a pregnant woman to do hahaha
Anyways.. I'll get on with it and get you men and women on your way to some orgasms like what we had earlier.
My parents and youngest s****r left on a saturday and my gorgeous hubby to be arrived at the house a few hours later. Sadly we had to wait until my other s****r left with her "friend" (with benefits which she won't believe is what they are but considering if you awoke through the night you'd hear her bedsprings going crazy.) Saturday night arrived not quic... Continue»
I've been reading Xhamster stories now for a little over a year, wow some are pretty hot and some are funny. Here is my story I hope you enjoy.
So about a month ago like any guy with work, bills, and little to no time for ones self. Decided to do the whole online dating thing to get some new pussy. Searched around for about a day or so reading about online sites, what they are charging and or any hidden gimmicks. I found this one site. www.dateorplay.com, made a profile and with in the first 30 min I was talking to 3 chicks who were real, not the fake bot type or super model perf... Continue»
"You almost done Lilly?"
I was anxious for the weekend, but it wasn't because I had something to do. It was simply because I don't think people could understand how much pressure could be put on a person from a small print company in the middle of the city. We had a lot of high brow clientele and when lawyers want their paperwork they want it yesterday.
Snow had fallen and the ground was iced over in patches that day as I stood at the back door waiting for her to leave. I could feel the cold from outside through the wall. I took a look back at Lilly through the open door fro... Continue»
Being a ghost sucks!
There I said it. As a Ghost I have limited control of the physical world. Aside from turning lights on and off I'm pretty much useless, that being said I have discovered quite a few tricks.
"Are you there Jack?" Regan asked from her room.
"No, I'm out in the Living Room." I said.
"I'm getting dressed so don't come in!" she said.
Regan came out wearing a rather fetching blue sun dress. "Have you been up all night?" she asked.
"Yeah...why?" I asked.
"I made up the couch for you, why didn't you..."
I didn't mention this in our ... Continue»
Long time no see! I’ve finally ‘got my arse in gear’ and feel inspired to write. The only problem was, because it has been a while what should I blog about? After some careful consideration I thought it only polite to keep you all up to date with ‘recent events’ so to speak lol.
I suppose the best place to start (as with all stories)is from the beginning. I had been chatting to a chap, lets call him Colin (rhyming slang ‘Colin Firth’ - girth ;-P) for a short while, when the delightful boy suggested we meet. Now a lot of the people I talk to either play around with the ide... Continue»
I finally got the balls to do it, I bought my first pack of Magnums. Never getting laid in the past has been bad enough, and with this site I made a few friends who said they'd be more than willing to help me out on the losing my virginity side. ( I'm still accepting offers since none have folllowed through yet ;] ) And after my embarrasing experience you can read about below with my big cock not fitting into a regular trojan I decided it was time to go out and buy a pack of Magnums. Reluctantly I went to the store and found the health and beauty section, I was so frazzled it took me nearly fi... Continue»
As an avid hiker, I knew my way around the back hills of my small town. I knew every trail and every distinguishable outcropping for miles. I spent years combing the feet of the Appalachians and up its mighty boulders until I couldn't proceed without actual climbing gear. So, when the day came that I finally managed to get myself lost all I could say was, "Shit."
"Perfect," I muttered quietly to myself. That's what I get for leaving my GPS unit at camp. But I wasn't going to get anywhere by simply cursing my impotence. I set off towards my back trail in search of some sign of life. I knew h... Continue»
My job is utterly boring. I am only doing it for a six month contract, but already I am bored shitless....until, that is the "Elf N Safety" brigade insisted that my department ordered new chairs. Not that there is anything wrong with the old ones, but hey, it's a brave new world, right?
So the new chairs arrived with a really odd looking set of wheels and spokes. I liked my old chair and soon discovered these new ones would only fit one way around. The old ones had regularly shaped spokes that I would put my feet on. These ones had two really widely spaced ones at the front and three around... Continue»
my aunty betty was to say the least a total hottie.okay she was over 40 something but hey have you seen some of those women.she always had a soft spot for me.i dont know what it was but i always seemed to get on with the more mature ladies.not that i didnt get on with younger girls.
this summer i went to stay for a few days.she needed the house painting and as i was off to college she figured i could do with the money and also help her out.in the end it was she who helped me out.
i dont know how but i fell off the ladder .a hospital visit and i had broken my left arm and leg.they wanted ... Continue»
Ok so this took place yeats when i was 13-14 years old i was aways horny so this took place on the day before thanks giving my twin cousins came over fore for thanksgiving and the week end i shared a room with my s****r one of my cousins would sl**p on my s****rs bed and the other on mine i would never sl**p on my bed i would sleppp on the couch but ween my cousins come over i sl**p with them so my cousins just became 15 years old my cousin andrea would sl**p with my s*s and her twin s*s would sl**p with her name is cesi so i was 13 u was 5'9 and had a ahletic body i played basketball and id... Continue»
This and the following part two are extracts from my novel "Sarah's Garden." They aren't really explicit erotica but rather an amusing account of two newly out lesbian girls let loose by their girlfriends for a day's shopping in town and a spot of girl watching with some rather startling results. Just a bit of fun really for your amusement.
“Well all I can say is that it’s going to be an interesting encounter with your mum tomorrow Nicky!” declared Sarah feelingly as she steered her BMW along the west bound autobahn a little outside Zur... Continue»
I’m hot n sexy since from my c***dhood. Whenever I got the chance, I never missed and made the best use of it. I had many encounters and a few of them are here. This is the first time I am narrating my true secrets, but it feels all good to me to be getting out of it before you all. These are all true ones.
First Time in 9th Grade!!
The story starts when I was 15 years old and was only in the 9th grade at the time. At the beginning of the year I met a girl and we became instant friends. As the year went on we flirted back and forth tell finally I guess she could not take it... Continue»
hi im gayan aged 27 yrs living in moratuwa, Sri lanka..the story i'm going to narrate you is about the real incidents happened during past few months about my young and horny wife Taniya..actually its about how i found my wife is a horny slut with her collegue. my wife is 25 years old and we were married for the last 6 months. As both of us are working for same bank in Sri lanka we dint get a chance to work together and i was transferred to System Department where you get 7*24*365 work in shift basis. The very next month my wife got promoted to next level and we overjoyed as it was a gift for ... Continue»
And so began my screening interview and my first adventure into the world of adult films. Once I got past all the legal bullshit the questions were kind of fun to answer.
Had I ever had gay sex before?
"Everyone in the room seemed gay and happy about what I was doing to them at the time."
There was a guest speaker for the monthly meeting of the Pleasant Town Trans-gender League. This guy was so full of shit it wasn't funny. He supposedly represented someone wanting to do a documentary... Continue»
i replied to my mom that i was trying to get back to the bathroom to grab my towel, she looked at me like i was lying to her , she asked why i had not been to work? and why didnt i answer when she sent the police over? i was baffled i didnt know what to say every thing that had been going on flashed before my eyes when she was asking me these things. i finally replied i didnt know i told her that i had not been filling to well so i had to call off , for a month she replied SHE YELLED LETS GO! YOURE GOING TO THE HOSPITAL!!i argued with her for bout a solid hour and finally conveinced her that ... Continue»
Frenchman, an Italian and an American were discussing love-making.
"Last night I made love to my wife three times" boasted the
Frenchman. "She was in sheer ecstasy this morning..."
"Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the Italian
responded, "and this morning she made me a wonderful omelette
and told me she could never love another man."
When the American remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked,
"And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?"
"Once." he replied.
"Only once?" the Italian arrogantly snorted. "And what did she
say to you ... Continue»
A MOTHER AND SON WAS WALK DOWN THE ROAD THE MOTHER SAW A SEX HOUSE SHE TURNED TO HER SON AND SAID DON'T U EVER GO IN THERE. HE GOES OK MOM. ONE DAY JUST WALKING HOME AND HE CAME PASS THE SEX HOUSE THIS SMOKING HOT BLONDE SAYS DO U WANNA COME IN HE SAYS I CAN'T I CAN'T MY MAM SAYS SHE GOES I WONT TELL. HE GOES ALRIGHT THEN SO HE GOES IN. SHE SAYS DO U WANT TO GO UP STAIRS HE SAYS I CAN'T I CAN'T MY MAM SAYS. SHE SAYS I WONT TELL. SO HE SAYS ALRIGHT. SO THEY GO UP AND THE SAYS TO WANNA HAVE SEX HE SAYS I CAN'T I AN'T MY MAM SAYS SHE SAYS I WONT SAY. SO THEY DID. WHEN THEY DONE SHE SAYS U CAN TAK... Continue»
I decided to post a story for the first time and naturally i'll start with one of my best stories! It was during my period at the university - in 2004! I didn't went home to visit my parents in the weekend and the city was laim those days! At night i was home with my friends and when i was out of liquor i went to a near b y café! I went there on a regular basis and knew everyone there! When i got there that night there were only the local d***k guys in their 50's at the bar, but there was a chubby student with great awesome tits pretty face and lips that could slurp a big black cock easily! I... Continue»
1. We can get laid anytime we want
2. We never have to buy our own drinks at the bar
3. We piss sitting down so its easier to pass out on the toilet when you're d***k
4. We get out of speeding tickets by crying
5. We get out of speeding tickets by showing a little cleavage or leg
6. We can sl**p our way to the top of the class
7. We get to shop at Victoria's Secret
8. We can marry rich and then not have to work
9. We never have to pay when we go out on dates
10. Men take us on all expense paid trips - all we have to do is sl**p with them
11. Men light our cigarettes for us
12. Men... Continue»
[/user]I had a cool threesome once. I fucked my buddy's wife along with him on her birthday. Then I fucked him too. I am not personally into dudes but he said that it was her ultimate fantasy to watch him with another man. Now, because it was her birthday, i had a little something to take the edge off, and I was fucking the woman, so I let him have a go at my virgin butt hole. Thank goodness he has a tiny dick and that her tongue fingers were very active the whole time especially to start it out. i almost jumped up and beat ass in his own bedroom at first because he got moving way too much wa... Continue»