Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 66

The Creation Of The Vagina

My 2nd Story:
The Creation Of The Vagina


There were seven wise men so fine.
creating a pussy to thier design.
The first was a butcher, Short and wit, using a knife he created a slit.
The second was a sculptor, strong and bold, using a hammer and chisel he created a hole.
The third was a hunter, short and stout, using the fur of a fox he lined it without.
The fourth was a fisherman, nasty as hell, he threw in a fish giving it the smell.
The fifth was a chef, short and big around the waste, he sprinkled some salt giving it a salty taste.
The sixith was a milk man, Tall and thin, he ... Continue»
Posted by Ari32 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 422  |  
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The night of my LIFE!

My name is justin and this is my story. Well for starters I am a 5'7 male very strong build ( I play football) and I am apparently socially accepted.

It all happened on one random lonely warm night. Nothing out of place or in favor to clue a hint to this leading up to what would possibly be the most extreme not of my young life. I am a computer junky and its all I know (besides football). I live in an apartment building above my Aunt and her f****y of 5. Her second older daughter being the same age as me. Our entire lives we competed to see who was the best. We were always the same height.... Continue»
Posted by DrLoveMonkey 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 2062  |  
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My 4 inch dick story...

This post is about how, to some of you, size DOES matter…a lot! As you can see, I am at the other end of the spectrum at 4.5 inches. Does this bother me? Yes and no. Let me start at the beginning and I think you’ll see what I mean…

My first girlfriend was very devoted to me as a person but unfortunately she couldn’t really feel much when we made love. Over time since she knew what a high sex drive I had she would take dick and start jerking me off. After a couple of minutes she always said her arm was getting tired which meant that she wanted me to finish myself off. This became the norm af... Continue»
Posted by fourinches 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1140  |  
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Dad is boss

I have a strange story. My dad had a high sex drive and I could hear he and mom fuck many times every night. He also fucked her every morning before they got up. My room was next to theirs and I could hear it all. I was the oldest of four k**s. I had two s****rs and a b*****r younger than me. We were all home schooled and seldom left our farm. My mom was a sexy looking woman and dad was very handsome. I could see why they fucked all the time. I walked in the kitchen one time when dad had his hand under moms dress and was fingering her pussy as she stood in front of the sink. When I walked in h... Continue»
Posted by justfordaddy 7 months ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 13206  |  
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Doctors Visit

I walked into the doctors office, the nurse took my weight and checked my bl**d pressure than took me to a room and said go ahead and take your clothes off, the doctor will be with you soon.

I’m a petite woman at 5’2, small with perky breast (so I’ve been told) a nice little firm and bubbly butt and yes, I am a proud owner of one of the thickest pussy out there, my lips are so huge it can cover most of anyone’s face who likes to eat.

Anyway, I disrobed and lied down on the chair, the room was a bit chilly and my nipples were solid hard, it took the doctor 10 minutes to come in the room. ... Continue»
Posted by dlbiblkm 1 year ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 6686  |  
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My first time with John

This is the true story about my first time with a guy. It happened about 8 years ago.


John and I had been friends since we were about 6 years old. We did just about everything together. We were, and still are, best friends. One evening we decided to go to the gym and work out. The place was just about empty. We had the place to ourselves for the most part. I wasn’t as into the work out as John was. I decided to call it quits and hit the showers. John decided to stay and lift some more.


Since the place was empty I was in the showers alone. I was thinking about the killer blowjob that ... Continue»
Posted by jock1982 7 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 5061  |  
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Fucking my Bosses Chubby Daughter

True story, though doesn't every one start that way...
When I was twenty I worked at a resort in the hills of Northern California. I was cooking for a seasonal resort hotel-restaurant. The place was, or still is, in a part of the redwood forest on a secluded stretch of Highway 101, a short walk from the dramatic cliffs and winding trails down to lagoons of the California coast.
The job was lousy, but the pay was incredible and the scenery was unbeatable. The main advantage of the place was that it was a beautiful resort, and it was large and secluded enough that it had housing and apart... Continue»
Posted by apparatus 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 2255  |  
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Funniest story ever!! ...Enjoy

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful younger s****r.

My prospective s****r-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate because she never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day her 'little' s****r called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I ... Continue»
Posted by thedurbnow 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 2144  |  
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Malini having sex with milkman

When Malini got married to Devender, people who attended their wedding said the match is not alright. Because Malini was a cute short statured, delicate beauty, whereas Devemder was a seven footer, with large limbs fit for a basket ball player or a boxer. Malini had done her graduation in Hindi and Devender also did his grad. and was working in a govt. office.

He liked to eat good and tasty food and malini was an expert cook. But in the bedroom he was a brute. He never talked to her small niceties or did anything by way of foreplay. When he feels like sex, he just sticks his penis into her ... Continue»
Posted by lildudexst 1 year ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1050  |  
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My best friend got lucky and shared with me

My best friend when I was 16 lived 2 doors down. We did most everything together. We'd go to the mall, movies and swam at the pool. Today we were going to go to the pool after school. He told me to come to his house when I was ready. We had known each other for years, our families too. It was normal for us to just walk in each others house like f****y. I had changed my clothes when I got home and went to his house, walking in as usual and headed to his room. When I reached his door, which was half open, I stopped. Looking in I saw he was naked laying on the bed, and his step-s****r was sucking... Continue»
Posted by querico44 3 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 2615  |  
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Farm job

My wife and I own alot of property,and a few horses.I am 6 foot tall 220 and about 8 inches.She is 5'2 about 140 and has 38dd tits,mm nice. Ok we got a horse that was about 2 years old.One day it seemed to be a little down so i called the vet.Lora asked me what the vet said. "he said the horse,Sam we called him,was in need of some attention.he said if I jerk it off the thing will be fine." She laughed.So reluctant to do it i asked my wife if she would please help me.It took some persuation but it was for Sam's health so she finally agreed to help,but seemed disgusted be it.
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... Continue»
Posted by sexybirsen 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 6075  |  
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Surprise!

Here I was, on a Sunday night, going in the club to have some fun.
After few hours of dancing and drinking, one pretty girl came and asked me to dance with her. Looking at her I saw that she`s not a "grenade" so I was thinking maybe I will have some fun tonight so we started dancing. After a while I started rubbing her ass, then I kissed her...OMG she was such a good kisser.
After she broke the kiss she asked me to come to her place and I was so excited that i took her hand and put it to feel my boner.
She gigled and we start walking to her place.
As soon as we arrived..i couldnt stop ki... Continue»
Posted by mercander 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  Views: 2086  |  
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Velma cums clean with Shaggy

Shaggy felt cold slobber on his face, waking him immediately. "Oh man, Scooby..." he groaned. Scooby-Doo, his Great Dane, began giggling and licked his face again. Shaggy responded by a scratch between his brown ears. "Norville!!" a female voice called from upstairs. "Come and get breakfast!"

"Mom, like, stop calling me that!"

"As long as you're still living in my basement, I'll call you whatever I like, now get your breakfast!"

Shaggy looked at Scooby and said, "Like, well, let's get something to eat." Food was his primary motivation in doing anything.

Shaggy ran up the stairs, cl... Continue»
Posted by shmoe13 3 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1054  |  
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k**napped!


A little lesbian tale of sex slavery that I hope you will find amusing.


It had been, frankly, a rather wretched Friday. It started badly when Mr Jameson, the chief librarian, trapped me (again) in Maritime History (M to R) and practically wrestled me to the floor. When I told him for the umpteenth time that my interests lay in a different direction, he rather breezily replied that he was 'up for a 69 if that's what you mean'. Eventually I fought him off with a leather bound copy of A History of Nelson (Vol 2). Then, over lunch I had to listen to Maure... Continue»
Posted by Sapphiclover 4 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1124  |  
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Wow... Random woman dry humps me at Target? (10/1

Not good with writing stories, just joined x hamster a few months ago, but anyways this is a true story it just happened to me earlier today. (10/1/11)

So my mom and i went to to Target to get some stuff, and like i normally do at most stores i go check out the electronics section and game section while my mom shops for food and stuff. So im checking out the new game releases for xbox like MW3 and Battlefield, then i see a shelf full of these cool funny shirts in the mens clothing department. As i was reading all of these funny shirts i briefly looked up and my eyes met this woman who was s... Continue»
Posted by PigtailPuller 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 2542  |  
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The Agony & Ecstacy

Out of town on assignment, I was staying with my friends in an upscale part of town..MONEY! He was out of town for the day, and I, was house sitting during the evening. His wife was out with her girls friends, partying it up.

It was a boring evening channel surfing and reading a book. The book as better than TV and I was on my 2nd glass of wine, when I heard the rear door open.

In waltzed, very carefully, Linda, who appears very sexy and quite too much to drink. She leaned against the wall trying to, gracefully, remove her shoes. Her long hair, plus her low cut tank top displayed a fine... Continue»
Posted by silverfox62 2 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 916  |  
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MY FAV JOKES

Patient to doctor: The problem is that obesity runs in our f****y. Doctor to patient: No.............the problem's that no one runs in your f****y.

I was walking home late one night and saw a woman in the shadows.
"Ten pounds . ." she whispers.
I'd never been with a prostiture before, so i decided, it’s only a tenner,why not, So we hide in the bushes.
Were going at it for a minute or so when all of a sudden a light flashes on us. It’s a policeman.,"Ello ello ello,What’s going on here, " asks the officer.
"I’m making love to my wife!, " i answered indignantly.
"Oh, I’m sorry, " say... Continue»
Posted by icumonu 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 860  |  
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She Doesn't Like Girls

A few weekends ago I picked my girlfriend (as in, my friend who is a woman) up from the airport.

I met her about a month after she turned 18 and first had a threesome with her and the man we had in common upon our very first meeting. We had been chatting and flirting prior to meeting. We'd exchange pics and share our favorite porn over emails and texts, getting excited for our first meeting in a week or so. We loved the same kind of porn and we talked about how fun meeting up would be with our common lover. That was February 2012 and we are still very close friends…

When I picked her up... Continue»
Posted by Missy_X 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1696  |  
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Bad girl returns with the chav lads

Hi

My computer fucked up so have not been online for ages. Sorry about this. Will be on msn again too.

Anyway I am back and here is another true story about me and this chav crew I go with.

I went to Jason house as well I wanted some sex and a cool time. Anyway when I got there all the other lads were there so Jamie 19, Mickey 18, Nicky 18 and Cris 18.

They were on their way to get me as they had not seen me for a few days so were getting the urge for a shag and wanted to just chill out with me as well.

We went to the back of the spar around 11pmish so it was pretty dark. T... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 166  |  
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Cute And Sensual School Love

As it turned out I was the highest scorer in my cbse exams of class 10 among that class, so very soon I started getting my response from teachers and friends including girls. A few of them struck me as they were very beautiful, and one of them was she. Even though I am writing this story with our mutual consent, let me not display her name, some things are better kept secret. She was a damn good looking girl, with a cute look, average height of 5.3 and a killing smile. A smile for which half the school will die for. She was among the most beautiful girls of the school. She had small boobs whic... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 379  |  
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