Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 66

Go Get Some (A Poem)

Just another poem...you don't have to take it to heart, though not a bad idea...

Go Get Some.

So, you’re looking for another rhyme,
Don’t know if I can do it this time,
I tried to think of something hot,
Something with a lusty plot,
Something you can read and wank,
But my mind simply came up blank,
So instead of reading some dirty poem,
While you’re sitting back at home,
Take a trip into the city,
Where you may find some real kitty,
Cause sex isn’t just to read about,
It’s something I can’t do without,
Cash your check when you get paid,
Go outside and actually ... Continue»
Posted by Exakta66 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 168  |  
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A hell of a woman

The Stories I'm writing here are absolutely true!

2011, October 02
About 11:45 pm

That Sunday began very quiet and it kept nice and silent. I sat in a room on a revolving chair directly at a broad wooden table and right in front of me some sheet metal signs were placed. On those signs were black numbers. From 1 to 10 for the ratings for the dance performances. Admittedly I only was Claude's conjuror and so his judging, as the Clubs vice-president, was worth more than mine but my view definitely could affect the results. So I sat waiting in the bikers clubhouse together with Claude who w... Continue»
Posted by Bea69 2 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 824  |  
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My own personal nurse

Last week I came down with a small cold I caught at a time out with some friends. I decided it was best to stay home and rest my head. Leanne called like she normally does every morning to check up on me before class. I explained that I was sick with a cold. She asked to come by after class in the afternoon and I told her she can come over anytime.

Later that day Leanne arrives. We hug and kiss as she walks inside my apartment. Leanne cooked dinner for the both of us. She asked if she can stay the night to keep an eye on me since I was ill. I told her yes and she asked to change in my clot... Continue»
Posted by Johnny916 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1493  |  
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Sex Therapy-Florida Style

A Florida couple, both well into their 80s, go to a sex ther****t's office.

The doctor asks, "What can I do for you?"

The man says, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?"

The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees.

When the couple finishes, the doctor says, "There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse." He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck, he charges them $50 and he says goodbye.
Finally, after 5 or 6 weeks of this routine, the doctor says, "I'm sorry... Continue»
Posted by papa61 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 1087  |  
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Dracula's Forbidden Forest

Music that would be playing in the background is as follows: Marilyn Manson "Sweet Dreams", Korn "Freak on a leash", Three days Grace "a****l i have become" and NIN "Closer". This is the first annual haunted hay ride for adults only with only 2 wagonfulls of people per night so early reservations are strongly recommended! This is an erotic ride for the halloween season for very sexual people, such as myself, to dress up and participate in the roles you are given. During the heat of the moment some participants if they wish can swap partners and so on. You must sign a disclaimer form before... Continue»
Posted by jenny462 3 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 478  |  
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Becky in the Blizzard

(Beckys life is changed forever when she gets snowed in)

"Brrrr" said Becky, stepping out of her beat up SUV and walking up the driveway. It was the middle of February, and the snow had just begun to fall. She was dressed in sheepskin boots and gray sweats that had her school logo on the right hip, with a bright green zip-up hoody that was underneather her warm, brown winter coat that had fur on the fringe of the hood. Even though her clothing was for comfort, Becky knew that she still looked good. Her brown hair hung to the middle of her shoulder blades, she had straightened her hair for t... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 1236  |  
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first online hookup (crazy fun)

As I log on to my social network of choice, I put down my bottle of cola for a moment to input the password. As the page loads up I taste the sugary drink. In the corner of the screen there is 1 new friend request. "Maria" 20.

I remember working with Maria a few years before that, she was about 3 years younger then me but she was pretty open about what she wanted, even when she was 15. I accept, thinking to myself "worth a shot now".

A few moments later an IM bubble pops up " hey stranger, how you doing ? :)". Great I responded. Over the next hour or so we ... Continue»
Posted by thekp 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 835  |  
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The first time for a nerd like me

Hello all. This is the funny, but sexy story of my very first time. before starting i'd like to let you all to know that i was 14 when i first lost my virginity. and prior to my first time i had next to no idea about sex. i was raised kinda proper and didn't have any real knowledge of sex outside of a very small amount of porn. that and i was 5'6 so kinda tall for my age. OK on with the show!

It starts with around October. Heavily tired from both a long school day and long day of football practice i began to walk my way back home from the school. wearing the normal team jersey and some blac... Continue»
Posted by overlorddlz 1 year ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1501  |  
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Joke..!!

A married couple is lying in bed one night. The wife is curled up, ready to go to sl**p, and the husband turns his bed lamp on to read a book. As he’s reading, he periodically reaches over to his wife and fondles her special area. He does this a few times, but only for a very short interval before returning to read his book.

The wife gradually becomes more and more aroused and, assuming that her husband is seeking some encouragement before going further, Gets up and starts stripping in front of him.

The husband is confused and asks, "Why are you taking off your clothes?"

His wife repl... Continue»
Posted by papa61 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 1551  |  
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Theatrical......3

Theatrical ….3

I awoke with a start 2 hours later and quickly looked around, he was sitting in the chair in just his boxer shorts watching the sport, I sighed as I rested my head back down on the pillow, it had not been a dream, I really was with him but I also realised that the wine contributed to my collapse but I felt totally rested, I also realised that I was in the bed as he had covered me up in bed , I curled up in the bed happy to be with him and watched him, he turned and looked at me then came over then bent and kissed me, I felt so relaxed as I reached up and curled my arm aroun... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 242  |  
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Working Holiday

Just back for a works tip to Spain, 11 days in a place i wont name as I dont want to give the game away, but I had a great time.

Last time I was there was a lads holiday 9 years ago, this time I ended up with a house to myself because the guy who was supposed to cover the job was planning on bringing his wife and k** so the house was booked, when he dropped out I said I would do it.

Ended up in a nice house with a little pool, was not too busy around there so no neighbors to complain. Good stuff.

Like I said I was there on a lds holiday years ago and had a bit of cunt (english & scott... Continue»
Posted by happy_wanking 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 783  |  
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I fucked a MILF in a wheelchair

I was a grad student at Valdosta State University a few years ago and I used to see a M.I.L.F. in a wheelchair that was mid 40ish and very good looking. She had a really nice rack on her! I made a point of running into her a number of times around campus so I could talk to her. I discovered she worked for VSU and was not a student. She was divorced and had k**s grown and out of the house. I told her I liked to hang out at Bungelow's, a local college bar, and sure enough one night I saw her come in. I invited her to sit with me and I bought her a few jack and cokes and before long she was a bit... Continue»
Posted by DostaDude 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 3249  |  
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The 12 Days of Christmas - The True story

THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
DAY ONE:

Dearest Bob,
I went to the door today and the postman delivered
a partridge in a pear tree. What a thoroughly delightful gift.
I couldn't have been more surprised.
With deepest love and affection,
Violet



DAY TWO:

Dearest Bob,
Today the postman brought your very sweet gift.
Justimagine...two turtle doves!!
I'm delighted at your very thoughtful gift.
They are just too adorable.
My everlasting love,
Violet


DAY THREE:

My Dear Bob,
Oh! Aren't you the extravagant one!
Now I actually must protest.
I don't deserve ... Continue»
Posted by OlGeezer 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 333  |  
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Carole’s hairy cunt and the massage

See the photos that go with this story at “Carole’s hairy cunt and the massage”

Since being with Keith (my husband) most of my sexual encounters have been with him in attendance and indeed filming the action or joining in.

However, some have occurred without him being there and Keith tolerates this as long as I tell him all the graphic details later and I let him act out the encounter afterwards. So a win, win for me!

One such occasion occurred a few years ago when we were at Cap d’Agde the French naturist resort.

I had suggested that I’d like a massage whilst we were on holiday a... Continue»
Posted by CaroleX 1 year ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 2769  |  
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Anathema Device










Anathama Device


Anathema returned to her class satisfied that she had got her own way yet again .

Anna was used to getting her own way. She dominated her older s****r Meg and her younger s****r
Janet, She even dominated her Mother Meg or so she imagined.

The telephone rang at Meg Browns house . Meg answered almost immediately .

It was Martin the Principal at Hope High School .
Martin White was the nephew of the bank manager who had owned the Mansion on the hill and had been the deputy Principal when Meg was at school.
No one knew except for ... Continue»
Posted by clearly 3 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1838  |  
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My foreign boyfriend.

This is a real experience guys, I had a boyfriend from London once and I spoke to him recently, we are no longer together because of the distance thing. We were on cam and everything, and I don't know how but we ended up talking about when we used to fuck... it was a bit embarrasssing because we don't talk about that shit anymore - it's the past. It really turned me on and I figured maybe it would be an interesting read.

It's not one of those erotic or dirty normal stories, it may be a bit boring or whatever but anyway.. Read on if you got the time - maybe it will make ... Continue»
Posted by xxxsarah69xxx 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 623  |  
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CAUGHT AND PUNISHED !!!!!!

Right i thought, ill get this last job sorted then race home and have the house to myself for an hour or so before the wife gets in. Both the k**s are away so i thought ill enjoy some sexy time alone. I rushed home and swung the van into the first space i could find. When i jumped out my freshly shaven cock was already starting to pulsate as i thought about my beautiful wives sexy panties in the wash basket just waiting to be explored.

I kicked of my shoes and dropped my trousers releasing my massive hard throbbing cock, and went upstairs. I reached into the wash basket and found 3 pairs o... Continue»
Posted by himNher 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 642  |  
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a new song for sailors

Now that women are allowed in the Navy we have to change that old song...

What can you do with a d***ken sailor,
what can you do with a sexy sailor ?
what can you do with a female sailor early in the morning ?

pull her panties down and spank her white ass,
pull her panties down and spank her black ass,
pull her panties down and spank her tight ass, till she cries Ahoy.

What can you do with a d***ken sailor,
what can you do with a sexy sailor ?
what can you do with a female sailor early in the morning ?

tie her tits up with an old rope,
tie her tits up with a new rope,
tie h... Continue»
Posted by VictorL4fun 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 690  |  
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Little Piggy Series (the V.O. Segrams, RV)

Once Upon a time in a southern backwoods farming and mining community lived poor uneducated folk. My name is Tammy Sue, and I was a little 5'3 120 pound chubby girl with 38C udders that swelled to D's when I was impregnated. My hubby was from the North, and enjoyed by dutiful southern charm. He loved to give me assignments that would show my loyalty, and at the same time keep me entertained on the farm.

One night while I was stroking my husband’s penis in bed, he mentioned to me that one of his desires was to be with each of my female relatives. I laughed at first thinking ... Continue»
Posted by WombDweller 4 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 1457  |  
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A TEENAGE BI SLUT and ASS WHORE


Ever since I was a small boy, I would sneak in my parents room where my mom and dad kept a stash of sex toys by the bed. I was so young, I could barely get a hard on but I would take mom's dildo and cram it in my tight little asshole.
It always felt good and I knew from even that young pre high school age that my ass was something that was special.

One summer I had two of the neighborhood guys stay over for the weekend and that night, after my parents went to bed, the three of us started kinda fooling around and by touching each others cocks and balls and a couple of us even kissed ea
... Continue»
Posted by bifun4u 10 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 6294  |  
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