So this guy goes up to a girl and tries to charm her by saying "hey i was gonna tell you a joke about my dick but it's too long".The girl replies,"thats funny".I was gonna tell you a joke about my pussy...but you'll never get it".... Continue»
Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 66
This, like all the stories I post on here, is a true story.
I studied arts in high school, which basically meant my school was a melting pot of stoners, hot alternative chicks, emo k**s and a bunch of teacher’s still thinking they’re 16 years old. The school was one giant orgy: over the four years I attended it, I must’ve fucked about 30 to 35 girls, including all of my female classmates but one. I have so many stories to tell about my time there, but I’ll start with just one.
That time in the bushes.
At one of our school parties, I’d made up with this girl who was a year younger than... Continue»
Edward Caine, 42, electrician, divorced, lives without a partner since five years. He likes to sit on his front porch and to watch the school girls on their way home. It fascinates him, just to think about their blossoming youth and the trials and disappointment they are growing into. So it's no real wonder where most of his erotic fantasies are coming from:
I walk into the back yard as I hear faint voices coming from my garden shed. But as I approach it to find out who is playing in there the doors suddenly opens. I manage just in time to hide away around the corner: it is a young bloke ... Continue»
ICarly Sex Story
Iam Not a Virgin
"I'm sexy Carly"
"and I'm slutty Sam"
"And this is ICarly"
Carly and Sam are doing a normal ICarly rehearsal in their studio with Freddie. As they get half way through Sam gets a text message.
"I gotta go" Sam says
"we're in the middle of rehearsal" Fredie exclaims
"I've got people to see" Sam responds
"Oooo a date?" Carly asked
"You could call it that" Sam says as she leaves with a dirty grin on her face.
"So now what?" Carly asks Freddie
"Oh I've got some tech stuff I need to fix"
"Alright i'll be in my room thinking of ideas for our next show... Continue»
THE BOSS’S DAUGHTER
It had been well over a year since Dave had seen his s****r and his niece. He had been working really hard at his job and had not made much time for his f****y.
Dave had decided to go spend a few days in Miami where his s****r and her daughter Anita lived. It had been close to two years since his first encounter with his lovely niece. He had spent the last few days thinking about the sexy nineteen year old, and all the things he had planned to do to her sweet sexy body. Dave never bothered to call to say that he was coming for a visit; he thought that it would be best... Continue»
Im a 23 year old guy when i was 18 working in a Pharamacy this happend like 5 years ago and this storie im gunna tell you i well never forget THIS WAS INSPIRED IN TRUE STORIE.
I been a Stockboy for 3 years in a Pharamacy store i wont say which one but its very popular.Anyways i have this Boss that i had my eye on for a very long time since ive been working in that place her name is Elaine she is very beautiful mexican middle age women about late 30's early 40's with a lovely spanish acccent,long curly firey hair,brown eyes,beautiful face,nice thick body with thick legs and huge do... Continue»
I REALLY LOVE YOUNG COCK
Andrew had asked me and the boys out to celebrate his 19th birthday next week but my husband was coming home early from his trip abroad so I had to ring Andrew and tell him that we couldn’t make it and the reason why,
Oh that’s’ ok Mrs. Miller I do understand there was a hint of disappointment in his voice,
I’ll tell you what how about you come over to my house as you normally do next Friday and instead of me going out with the girls,
I can do you and the boys a meal and have a late celebration for your birthday how does that sound?
That’s great Mrs.... Continue»
Caroline and me had been pals for ages, our parents were friends so we had spent a lot of time together as k**s and a friendship had developed.
This long hot summer may be our last together as I was off to Uni in the autumn and Caroline was hoping to go to art school.
We used to spend a bit of time together when our parents were at work, just hanging at her house and listening to music and the like.
Today Caroline seemed to have something on her mind, she was a bit shy as if she wanted to say something but wasn't sure she should/
" Mike, you know how I'm applying for art sch... Continue»
Adam could not wait to get back to the warmth of Florida from his college in the North East. He liked the university, just not the climate. He was met at his plane by his parents and his f******n year old little s****r, Alice. He was a freshman in college and she was also a freshman, but in high school.
It was very hot that day and she was just wearing a loose halter top and some very short and very tight shorts. It had only been four months since he saw her last, but she seemed to have matured quite a bit. Her tits were now a pretty good B-cup and her ass was filling out nice... Continue»
Dear Dirty Diary,
Thanksgiving weekend all the Huntingdon stores started pushing their winter fashions, so Louise and I went shopping. Even with all the closet space in our new apartment, I had to do some fall-cleaning to make room. I dumped out my pantyhose and tights drawer on the bed beside my relaxing husband.
Each pair I got rid of, Doug would pick up, carefully examine, then like an old fart would ask, “What’s wrong with these?”
I’d point out the runs in the expensive ones and the starchy feet and sags of the cheap ones. I hesitated for too long before tossing out one ... Continue»
I had been seeing Stacy a while now and popped over to the place where she worked for a lunch date.
When I arrived at her office she wasn't there and after a few minutes of waiting I decided to leave, then a door opened and Stacy's boss walked in.
"Oh hi there, you came to see Stacy?" she asked seeing me sat at Stacy's desk.
"Yeah" I replied politely.
Stacy's boss Lynne was kind of a Milf, a hot mature woman that seem to have a hell of a body and a large cleavage under the business suit she wore.
"Oh well I had to send her out to do a couple of errands" she then said.
"But you can wait i... Continue»
I sat looking around the room, people were talking, some louder than most, a mixture of noise and laughter, and amongst it all I sat bored out of my skull.
I was tipsy and felt in need of a good fuck, a room full of cock and cunt desperate to mate once the talking stopped.
I hiked my hemline a tad higher on my stockinged legs, may as well get in there first, better to have a shag with guy still capable to get it up, than wait for some piss-pot with 'Brewers droop', lying on top of you.
The last time I went to one of these events I finished up going out to get relieved, asking the vale... Continue»
This story relates to events that began in April 1981.
I was 13 at the time and my eldest s****r was 15, 2 weeks off her 16th birthday, I was a very shy and naive young teenager with no experience of the female species at all when this started, although I had a group of 5/6 close male friends who had been having group masturbation sessions for around 7/8 months, these started off with just masturbating in front of each other, to actually pairing off and masturbating each other. On the last session I had actually received oral sex off one of them.
Anyway on to my s****r, as I... Continue»
My senior year of high school was filled with college apps, schoolwork, and spending most of my time hanging out with my friends, especially since we all would be going our separate ways when we went off on our separate ways to college. One day during lunch, my best friend Anthony invited all of us to the annual Halloween party his parents threw. The previous two years, I had been busy so I was often unable to go. However, this year I really wanted to go and get a chance to spend time with Anthony and my other friends. Plus, the good thing was I didn't have to dress up or look stupid or a... Continue»
I woke up last Saturday morning to find my beautiful girl Chrissy lying naked asl**p next to me, I kissed her sweet lips tenderly and cuddled up to her whilst thinking how lucky I am to have her... Little did I know, later that day she was going to show exactly how much she owns me!
After half an hour of watching my sl**ping beauty, she began to wake, smiling at me as she opened her heavy eyes and kissing me 'good morning'.
We spent the next hour or so doing as we normally do every Saturday morning, just laying there talking softly to eachother about anything, usually about what we have pl... Continue»
The alarm I set to go off each week day at 7am beeps aggravatingly on the other side of the room. Beside me you groan, throwing your covers off your naked body to go and get it. "I got it handsome" I murmur, putting a hand on your chest and pushing you back into bed gently. You don't need much convincing, rubbing groggy eyes and settling back against your pillows. I slip out of bed, already nude from a night of glorious, sweaty sex. Still a bit sore, I stretch, turning away to give you a nice view. You laugh and give a low whistle. Grinning ear to ear I grab the infuriating device and turn it ... Continue»
“Okay, it's pizza time!” Rachel excitedly called out to the group. The other four girls all squealed with delight. Everyone knew what it meant to order pizza. It meant it was time for the pizza game.
The game was really simple but extremely fun and exciting. First, the girls would decide on a game game to play; usually spin the bottle or poker or something easy like that. They didn't play for money, but for the clothes they wore. The first girl nude was the loser and had to order and pay for the piz... Continue»
(Two Uncles teach a niece how to behave)
Hello, my name is Clara, and I am going to tell you about the time I learned what it really was to be fucked. I was adopted at age 7, by my mother Nina, and now I am eighteen... On the say of my 18th birthday, my mother threw me a huge bash, invited all the f****y and my friends, and let me tell you, it was something I will never forget.
On the day of my 18th birthday, it was hot and humid, the kind of humid that makes your clothes stick to your skin. I came out of my room dressed in a white cotton midriff, no bra, and white jean shorts, almost so... Continue»
Last night I went out with my friends in the city. We all me at a bar around 10pm. It was my friend Jacks birthday. We had been drinking for a while, making Jack do shots. At around 1 am he got really sick. I had been talking with this really cute girl. My friends were leaving to take Jack home. I felt bad staying behind but I was trying to score.
The girl's name was Samantha. she was pretty d***k and kept calling me Jake. I didn't care I just wanted to get some action. I had given her all the bullshit lines about be a stockbroker and that I lived in the city. She told me she was a school t... Continue»
Today I wrote a check that I miss could not cash, but I’m glad I did.
Last week I made a bet with Jimmy, the captain of the football team, they were playing the #1 team in the league and that team was undefeated, our local team had lost 3 games already and only won two. The bet was that our local team would lose at least by 14 points and if they were to win I would do whatever he wanted.
Mind you, I’m 5’4” one of the sexiest and prettiest girl in the school. I have a nice bubbly ass with 36c tits… They are fairly huge with big pink nipples. So when I made the bet, yes I wanted him to fuc... Continue»