Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 66
A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room.
She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of b*tches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of b*tches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."
The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may pla... Continue»
Maria looked in the mirror on Saturday, October 30. This was the night every girl in her residence was probably doing the same thing. Looking in the mirror at their scantily clad reflection and wondering about the nights activities.
Maria was heading downtown to a local strip of bars that always had the best costume parties and the best dance music in the city. Her girlfriends were all getting ready around her but she couldn’t hear them… the only thing on her mind were the last minute regrets at how sexy the reflection in the mirror looked staring back at her.
Her smooth Italian skin loo... Continue»
It was the last day of school, we just finished taking the final exam and I was the last one to hand in my paper, I had already finished but wanted to hand it out last. All the students were gone and I was the only one left with at least 45 minutes to go before it was officially over. The teacher, Mrs. McElroy, was sitting at her desk reading a novel; I was sitting in the second row in the middle of the room. I watched her for a few more seconds and got up, walked up to her and handed her my paper. “How do you think you did James?” she asked pulling down her glasses right over her nose, stared... Continue»
Hey everyone. I got a pretty good response to my last story so I'm going to post something I discovered on my old hard drive - my writings from when I was about 14-16. When I was younger I used to write what was on my mind, so here it is! Also, if you notice any differences in this story and the last, its because I exaggerated a lot in the last one. This is all true however. (Note: I had a very odd writing style because I thought nobody would ever read it)
AAARGH! I WANT SOMEONE TO EAT ME OUT NOW!!!
I'M SICK OF PORN. I WANT FUCKING!
My tits are getting bigger now. They are so s... Continue»
Allison was so excited! She slowly pulled on her thong,
then her cotton shorts, then her cut off tee shirt
which barely covered her braless 32B breasts. She
polished her toe ring and applied pink polish to her
toenails and put on her little gold ankle bracelet.
Then she combed out her shoulder length blond hair and
walked to her full length mirror.
"Hot!" Allison exclaimed as she looked at her tan,
scantily clad 13 year old nymphet body. She was about
to meet her first online boyfriend, a sexy 14 year old
named Kyle. Allison loved to tease boys online, posting
One day God called Adam to him and said: "Adam, I have some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?"
"The good news," replied Adam.
"Well, the good news is I gave you a penis and a brain."
"OK.." said Adam warily. "And what's the bad news?"
"I only gave you enough bl**d to operate one at time."
Why are men so bad at sex and driving?
Because the bastards always pull out with no thought of who else might be coming.
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
How can you ... Continue»
When Billy Jefferson's parents had to rush out of town to be at the side of his grandmother after she suffered a stroke, his mother's s****r Diane was called upon to keep an eye on Billy and the house until his parents could return.
It worked out well, because Billy was very fond of his Aunt Diane. Since her husband had divorced her several years ago, she had led a lonely life out in the sticks, so being called upon to help was a welcome break from the boring routine of her single life.
Chapter One: Bad timing
Diane Shaver couldn't believe her luck, an... Continue»
When I was done with my Air f***e boot camp, right out of high school, I was sent to a tech school in Texas. I was in my motel room one night, laying naked on the bed, and heard a couple come in. Just remember that I was down there for 18 weeks with out having any sex. So any ways I heard a couple come in and I was half asl**p and I heard the woman in the room next to me moaning and I got so hard I listened to them and then she said to her hubby you are so d***k. Then I heard the door open and then I got up to see if it was her or him and it was her so I put on my shorts and went out in th... Continue»
Close Call by: KS44
I’ll start by setting the scene. It’s Saturday morning, my wife and her s****r and her daughter who were staying with us on their vacation, had gotten up early and headed out for a day of shopping and doing girl things.
I woke up to a quiet house. Getting out of bed I used the bathroom then putting on my robe, headed down the hall and into the kitchen to make some coffee. My wife had left about two cups worth in the pot but it was cold. I poured a cup and put it in the microwave to re-warm it. The microwave beeped, I took out the cup of now hot coffee, added ... Continue»
They met at the railway station as planned. The reporter, with her list of questions, camera and recorder, and the girl with nothing to hide. After ordering a couple of drinks, they took a table in a dark back corner of the bar and started talking, without actually getting into the interview. Once the reporter's gear was all ready, she asked the girl if she still wanted to go through with this. With a big smile, she nodded "yes".Reporter
: "This is Lauren O'Riordan with..."
: "...with Molly. It's just gone 6 pm on a lovely Wednesday evening, and... Continue»
I got to the job interview early; I used the time to go over everything I think they would ask. The secretary called me in and showed me to the head HR lady’s office. She looked to be in mid to late 50s and didn’t even stand up to shake my hand… “Mr. Sam” she said pulling her glasses down slightly over the bridge of her nose “I regret to inform you that the position you applied for has been filled, we… tried contacting you by phone and via email, but none of them seemed to work … cause here you are” “I…”, “I’ll tell you what” she moved the papers that were in the middle of the desk to the left... Continue»
Yet another American politically oriented breeding story ... just in time for the government shutdown over lack of passing a budget bill. Enjoy.
This all happened when my husband Derick and I had the opportunity to go on a great camping trip with our neighbors Angela and Steve. Things got interesting when they ended up bringing along their friend, Blake. We were all in our late 20's and Derick and I had been happily married for 5 years.
We got to this awesome out of the way spot in the forest after a long drive and hike in. Blake turned out to be very... Continue»
This is my first story on here...
Please comment and tell me about similar events. (if you want more info i will be happy to inbox and share)
So i been on a social site on my cell for about 4 years now called moco. I have had all types of women of there from big to small, ugly to fine, short to tall. That damn moco have got me more ass than any other site.
So im in the "near me" chat room to holla at the local chicks around a month ago and this girl has "my lips your dick" on a pic of her's and licking her lips. So i shot at her "you must really like sucking dick..." she like " hell yea... Continue»
Man gets to lead the life of a rich man...if only for a day...
Back in the day, the early 1980's to be precise, I was badly in need. In need of a job, to be more specific. These were times of prosperity for most. The Dow had recently hit 2000, which was a record. The economy was booming and would continue to do so throughout most of the decade. Everyone and everything seemed to be doing great, except for me. Being the remarkably perceptive dude he was, my friend Rich sensed my need for employment. He had recently started a small company installing and mai... Continue»
Hello everyone, this is my first story here... This is a real one, i haven't many of them to tell so in the future i could switch to fantasy. I'm also not english so tell me about my writing :-p
By now: here the facts. I was 23 and i broke up with my boyfriend after almost 1 year, i was very sad, angry and, must admit, cock-hungry.
That night a good friend of mine held a birthday party in a nightclub, we danced and had a very good time, drinking much. Aware of me being a good drinker, my friend drove me to the party. There, however, she found a very handsome man to go home with, and asked me... Continue»
Going back in time to give the first woman her first orgasm...hey, somebody had to do it...
Eve (A true story...OK, maybe not)
Hello people. Hope you are doing well out there in Fantasy Land. What, you say you are not in Fantasy Land? Oh you will be soon. Don't worry, because we are going deep into Fantasy Land. So deep, we may never return. And believe me, you will go to Fantasy Land with me. Even if I have to pick you up and sling you over my shoulder. So come with me, to Fantasy Land.
It all started innocently enough one fine day back in the eighties. If you recall f... Continue»
This is Max
No one in school knows about his monster cock and him being so skinny he wasn't so popular in school. At eighteen he is still a virgin and really wants to have sex. He is worried about girls not being able to take him and not want to have sex with him.
Max has a little sibling called Alyssa, at fifteen she has slept with a few people, she always has a huge line of guys wanting her. This is what she looks like.
Just Being Neighborly
I first had a chance to meet our new neighbor when we were both getting our mail out of our adjoined mailboxes one day around noon. Looking her over she had a bit of a very tired look on her face but from the neck down she was hot. She was wearing sandals, really short shorts and a pullover white shirt cut at the waist and the neckline was torn down rather low. Allowing her to be the first one to get the mail I watched as she stooped over to grab hers. I got a pretty clear look down that the neckline of that torn shirt and saw nothing but cleavage. No bra and no tan l... Continue»
The other day I was really sore from working out and thought it would be a great to treat myself to a massage. Being something of a massage freak I am always looking and hoping for that elusive Happy Ending as an extra. I looked on the internet under Massage Ther****ts and found a local gal who was happy to make an appointment for me the same day. She had a sexy sounding voice and I figured maybe I would luck out and finally get that Happy Ending I was looking for. But when she said her location was in a beauty parlor I figured forget the Happy Ending. This would be a completely normal and non... Continue»
Part 1 1
AT THE ORGASM RESEARCH FOUNDATION Dr. Roger Prong, who was known by some foundation employees as "a bl**dy Peeping Tom" and a "horny old voyeur" was in fact very scientific, or so he always insisted as he watched the girls having orgasms.
At the laboratory, Josie Welch, already nude but with a single sheet demurely spread over her full and obviously glorious body, looked unhappy as Roger entered.
"They tell me there won't be any men today,"
she said as soon as she saw the doctor.
"That's right, my dear," he said with professional unction. "That part of your testing i... Continue»