Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 65

Melting The Ice Queen

(Widowed Mother in Law moves in)

Ever since we first met, she had been a bit cool and aloof; no, make that cold. Her daughter Debbie and I had dated for close to a year before getting married. I was 21 years of age, she was 24; second marriage for her, first for me. Maybe the old bitch never liked the fact that I wasn't a doctor or lawyer, or some highly paid professional. Nope, I was just a regular guy working in the retail clothing business. But I made a decent living and between my earnings and Debbie's income as a hair dresser, we lived comfortably. In fact, with a few wise, early inves... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Morning Wood

Stretching with a groan, my hands reach for the warm body I can feel under the covers beside me. The early morning light pours in from the window just above the bed, and as my hands run over your chest -tangling in the thick hair that covers it- I can feel you reaching up to close the blinds. A smile erupts on my suddenly warm face, there can only be one reason for closing the blinds at this time of the morning. I reach above us to the windowsill to grab my glasses, making sure to lean as far over you as possible, my breasts raking over your chest causing my sensitive nipples to harden suddenl... Continue»
Posted by experiencedvirgin 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Special Stuffing-Happy Thanksgiving


" I can't beleive I'm doing this"
A thick wet slap resounds from the steel sink. It is followed by a moist gurgle and then the sound of wet suction followed by another wet slap.
"Don't throw out the gizzards, they're for the gravy."
A trilling giggle hits my ear next, then something heavy and slimy.I turn my head to be met with a slick fleshy column of skin bending towards me.
"That's the neck.Rinse it off and put it in the skilllhehehet." I laugh, pushing her arm towards the sink.
Giggling, she emerses her long fingers beneath the shooting water faucet and rubs them up and down the di... Continue»
Posted by lookyloo 4 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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The New Sexual Awakening

Most guys lose their Virginity in High School, Trevor Smalls wasn't most guys.

A meek and reserved young man, Trevor had a tendency to fade into the background wherever he was, the one exception being the Chemistry Lab that was where he burned hotter than his Bunsen Burner.

Being from a modest background made socializing at Pinkerton University especially difficult, as many of the affluent students didn't take to kindly to mere Scholarship students attending their school.

But Trevor saw an in, a way of making his financial and socially difficulties vanish, the Janice Prize.

The ... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Actual CFNM from college days

I was friends with two roommates, Katie and Laura, who had an apartment in a building I lived in my sophomore year. I'll be honest, neither of them were very attractive. So I never made a play for either of them, but in frank conversations as college students often have I revealed that I had a large penis. (They didn't believe me (or claimed not to) because I was then, as I am now, a skinny guy.) We all know it's not the case, but they insisted that a guy as thin as me could not have as thick and long of a penis as I was describing.

I resisted the temptation to whip it out, hoping instead t... Continue»
Posted by ILoveBigBush 4 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Jail Bait Part 1

You see, I work with criminals at a half way house. On their way out but not quite free yet. Like clock work at 7pm is curfew, i work with one other guy at this location. It's in The Bronx, a lot of people who live in the neighborhood doesn't know what kind of house this is. For the most part it's extremely quiet and neat. Most of the time I'm left alone in the house I work the midnight to 8 am shift.
This one night around 3:30am. I was reading a romance novel, a inmate walked up to the desk, he talked about his case. Like I wanted to hear it at all. Then suddenly the convers... Continue»
Posted by virginblood 5 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Jill's Wild Interracial Adventure

(Jill's alligator mouth get her in real trouble)

How it all started:

L.A. in the summer, save for the pollution factor, isn't much different than Florida in the summer, both are hot, with crowded beaches as Jill was finding out. Long Beach they called the town named after all the beach front property, ran out all the way to Seal Beach, which continued to other beaches, but all the same waterfront, just miles upon miles of connected beaches. Still, with all that beach front you'd think there'd be some room to spread out in peace, she thought, as a group of black men stampeded through kick... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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YOU HAVE TO BE ADAPTABLE ..

Many years ago when I was about five or six years of age I experimented anally in the bath with a bit of soap; it felt good apart from the soap stinging a little bit.

When I was about ten years of age I got fucked for the first time by a friend of the same age. I don't know where he got the idea from but it felt very nice although there were minor complications.

In my teens a male friend and I used to have wanking races in his bedroom. We used to suck each other but not to orgasm so I never knowingly swallowed his cum.

Around about that time I lost my anal virginity in total to a Ga... Continue»
Posted by AussieJonno 4 years ago  |  Categories: Gay Male, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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That one time in the bushes next to school

This, like all the stories I post on here, is a true story.

I studied arts in high school, which basically meant my school was a melting pot of stoners, hot alternative chicks, emo k**s and a bunch of teacher’s still thinking they’re 16 years old. The school was one giant orgy: over the four years I attended it, I must’ve fucked about 30 to 35 girls, including all of my female classmates but one. I have so many stories to tell about my time there, but I’ll start with just one.

That time in the bushes.

At one of our school parties, I’d made up with this girl who was a year younger than... Continue»
Posted by Mercutio85 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo, Voyeur  |  
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cum over for a drink (short but sweet)

I have this story to share, never actually told it to anyone before but it’s kind of fun so enjoy.
I live outside of town a couple of miles and therefore the parties always ended up at my place. Far enough from town that we can have a big fire and make some noise and no one cares but close enough to still get a taxi home or whatever. So, this was a typical small party. About 25 people gathered around the fire pit which was in my back yard. The house was always open so people could use the fridge or washroom etc. It was about midnight or so when I accidentally spilled a drink onto my pant leg... Continue»
Posted by mr_pearson12 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The Pack and a Girl


"Kristy, honey, could you get the Peterson file for me?" Daddy asked, looking up
from his desk.

"Sure," I grumbled. I hated working for my dad at the kennel. All my friends got
to run around after school. My dad, on the other hand, thought this would be a
positive experience for me, and insisted that I spend some hours after school
and on the weekends working in the f****y business. I figure he also had a
secondary motive. Puberty was beginning to influence my eight teen year old body, so
my pert titties and rounded hips were just beginning to swell to womanly
proportions. I t... Continue»
Posted by drew1207 1 year ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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ICarly Sex Story; IAm Not A Virgin

ICarly Sex Story
Iam Not a Virgin

"I'm sexy Carly"
"and I'm slutty Sam"
"And this is ICarly"
Carly and Sam are doing a normal ICarly rehearsal in their studio with Freddie. As they get half way through Sam gets a text message.
"I gotta go" Sam says
"we're in the middle of rehearsal" Fredie exclaims
"I've got people to see" Sam responds
"Oooo a date?" Carly asked
"You could call it that" Sam says as she leaves with a dirty grin on her face.
"So now what?" Carly asks Freddie
"Oh I've got some tech stuff I need to fix"
"Alright i'll be in my room thinking of ideas for our next show... Continue»
Posted by sexybabe132 5 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Dennis The Menace: Part 2 - A Mother's Love

Dennis The Menace: Part 2 - A Mother's Love
by Sniper32

A couple of days after Dennis and his mother had sex for the first time,
Alice was laying in her bed pondering her current situation. She couldn't
believe what was happening between her and her son. She could not get the
picture of her son with his huge cock plunging in and out of her or
the thought of her on her knees with his cock lodged down her throat shooting
loads of his hot warm jism in her mouth.

"God this is turning me on," she said to herself as she started playing with
her breasts, massaging them, caressing her n... Continue»
Posted by sniper32 4 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Squashed out - Short Story

Jodie Marie, 22, freshly engaged with a car mechanic, is a simple woman. She likes to cook, to cuddle, and she certainly likes to make love. And because she has a boyfriend and seems to be well maintained by him, her fantasies are sometimes reflecting the realm of the unknown, the appetite for something new - and include sometimes even a woman:

I'm loosing the damned game! I hit the rubber ball harder, but with every mistake I make her grin grows broader. She is a friend of my mother, about her age, but still fit and not bad looking, but she is a bl**dy lesbian, playing with all the young... Continue»
Posted by sushicook 5 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Saturday Night Domination

I woke up last Saturday morning to find my beautiful girl Chrissy lying naked asl**p next to me, I kissed her sweet lips tenderly and cuddled up to her whilst thinking how lucky I am to have her... Little did I know, later that day she was going to show exactly how much she owns me!

After half an hour of watching my sl**ping beauty, she began to wake, smiling at me as she opened her heavy eyes and kissing me 'good morning'.
We spent the next hour or so doing as we normally do every Saturday morning, just laying there talking softly to eachother about anything, usually about what we have pl... Continue»
Posted by azid619 5 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
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Great Sex

How many a****ls do you find after great sex? 2 tired Asses,1 wet Kitty,and dead Cock.... Continue»
Posted by bildwarrior 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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A RANDOM FREESTYLE SEX POEM FRESH FROM MY BRAIN

She had no panties on and a mini skirt.
When he ate her pussy it made her squirt.
He thrust his hard-on deep inside
It felt so good she nearly cried.
"I've never been fucked quite like this,"
Then he pulled out and came on her tits.
"Oh we're not done yet; not even close.
Finger my ass hole."
"No, that's gross."... Continue»
Posted by squirtlover33 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The Sexual Awakening Part Three

Monday

I was so overwhelmed by the events of those last two days I stayed inside all of Sunday, hiding in seclusion in my room. But by Monday I knew it was time to go back to school.

"Cameron are you alright?" My mother asked tapping my shoulder through my blanket. "I'm not feeling well." I said from underneath the feather down comforter. "You stayed inside all day yesterday now it's time to get up!" I poked my head out and sighed "Fine!"

I got out of bed and quickly showered. As I got dressed I was about to put the watch on be decided against it, I instead left it where it was. I m... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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The new Secretary - Short Story

Mary Monroe, 21, secretary, single, enjoys one-night-stands more than a continuous relationship. In her vivid fantasies she uses her body to entice and encourage men to a spontaneous encounter without responsibility. Making love with the same partner for more than once seems to bore her and to hinder her for the all so fascinating new adventures:

I'm a bit nervous on the first day of my new job as a secretary. The manager that introduces me to my duties is young, handsome and very lively. With his dark brown eyes he scans my whole body, seems to undress me already in his mind. He stares a... Continue»
Posted by sushicook 5 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Kirk & Erin

[user]http://xhamster.com/user/teengirerin[/user]

I want to give out a little information before I write this story! My name is Kirk Parmer and I moved to Texas 6 years ago in April and I came from Alaska. I was born and raised in Alaska for 15 years and that is why I have the username Alaska. The xxx is because I like porn! Now this story is titled Kirk & Erin because this is like a parody of the biblical story of Adam & Eve. This story is going to be better though because its going to have sex in it! I hope you will enjoy this and please comment!
__________________________________... Continue»
Posted by alaskaxxx 5 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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