Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 65

Having Friends for Lunch: Strange Relationship &nd

With a Sunday afternoon unexpectedly free – many thanks to Richard’s rabble of students, to a man seemingly unable to cope with the dual pressures of actually doing work and handing it in on time, leaving Richard with piles of marking to do – I decided to hit the bookshops. Sounds sad, I know, but I find little to compare with the simple pleasure afforded by wrapping myself in a good book! Internet sites are all terribly convenient, but for me book shopping should be a tactile, sensual experience. I need to pick up and flick through fifty books before I decide. Thus, opting f... Continue»
Posted by ChrisTracy 4 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 376  |  
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A cucumber, a Penis and an Olive...!!

A cucumber, an olive and a penis are talking.

The cucumber says "I hate my life, when I get big fat and juicy they cut me up and put me in salad."

The olive says "That's nothing, when I get big fat and juicy they cut me up and put me on pizza."

The penis says "You think you have it bad, when I get big fat and juicy they put me in a bag, throw me in a cave, shut the door and leave me there till I throw up"

... Continue»
Posted by papa61 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 293  |  
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New Life Part 3

Part 3
"are you just about ready dear?" Linda inquired as she put the last of her face on.
"I am, sweet heart, we'd better get going or we're going to be late," Braxton retorted as he cinched his tie into place and gave it the usual wiggle to make sure we wasn't going to choke. "Alright sweetie, going to get the car, I'll be waiting for you out front." yes sir, she smirked as he fled out of the door.
She then grabbed her hand bag and made her way out of the front door, where her car and super handsome driver awaited. However just as she was about to open the door, Braxton in a flash had ... Continue»
Posted by JerseyBean 3 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 235  |  
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WILL'S FANTASY PART 1

I come to be with you in USA.
You take me to your home and we talk as you get me settled in the guest room.
Wanting to take things slow till we both feel ready for more.
We grow closer as the days go by and I know what I want.
I go to the garage to help you fix the car ,wearing a dress and bringing a small hamper of snacks (short bread biscuits,strawberries ,whipped cream and chocolate sauce )for later ...
I stand there ,in the door way ,smiling as you tell me I am not dressed for garage work...
You hand me overalls...
I look into your eyes & smile at you then drop my gaze & gigg... Continue»
Posted by JerseyBean 3 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 704  |  
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A Day in the park or How NOT to take sexy self pot

A couple days ago I was feeling kind of bad because I had dumped on a guy I had been chatting with. I started thinking, what could I do to make it up to him. Suddenly I knew, I'll take some pictures just for him! It was a nice day outside so I thought - an outdoor shoot would give both of us a thrill! He knows I tend to be an exhibitionist so I ran upstars and picked out my outfit. I choose a short blue jean skirt and T-shirt with no panties, partly to get me in the mood and partly because I knew he would like the view.
I planned on doing it in my backyard but as I went to the back doo... Continue»
Posted by uwqgqfrm 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 461  |  
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IN THE COUNTRY CLUB

We met up with some friends over xmas in a posh country club for some drinks. It was only meant to be for a couple, but it soon turned in to quite alot more than a couple. After about 6 or 7 pints we all nipped outside to the cold for a ciggy. Our friends headed back inside and we followed, i jokingly said to the Mrs, lets go into the men's toilets and have some fun, i din't think she would be up for it but she turned and walked straight in without even checking. We headed to 1 of the 2 cubicles and locked the door. I put the lid down and pulled her leggings down exposing her sexy lacy thong a... Continue»
Posted by himNher 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1290  |  
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Realease the Krakken

This is actually a completely random post. I was talking with my a friend the other day, and he reminded me of something I did at a party a while back. I used to go to parties and get completely trashed when I was in high school. And I had this ex Abi, who was a total control freak, but very atractive, she was 5'4, mix of mexican and caucasion, very smoothe skin, long black hair, big doe eyes, perky b cup size, and a very tight ass. one thing I hated was that she would tease and lead me on but never actually do anything. After a few months of blue balls, we broke up and went our separated ways... Continue»
Posted by dick_masscock 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 301  |  
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Rising with the Dawn

I walked along Watauga Avenue, my bare feet chilled by the damp concrete. Tonya was in Virginia, visiting her mother and I had gotten bored sitting at home alone. It was a rainy, foggy Monday night and there was very little traffic, so I had decided to take a long walk, naked. The only time I’d had to be careful of being spotted was at Church Circle as I left Sullivan Street. For safety’s sake, I had walked around Charlemont Avenue so I could pass behind the churches and bright floodlights.
Passing Linville Street, I started really looking at the big houses that lined Watauga. Most of them we... Continue»
Posted by voivodevlad 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 479  |  
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the dead girl

I had been dead three years when I pretended not to notice the man drop a pill into my white wine, but that didn't stop him from trying. It hadn't stopped the other six hundred and sixty five men who were intent on courting me in this bizarre and ungentlemanly manner and it wouldn't stop the next man or the next. My afterlife was an endless cycle of man after man. The same dirty tricks, the same wretched result. It was fascinating how repetitive it all was. There was almost nothing to keep me going anymore. Almost....

Three years ago I had gone to a college party at one of the local frat ho... Continue»
Posted by emobabygirl 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 1218  |  
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My first time tasting female juices!

First let me introduce myself...I am Jay from the beautiful city Bangalore. I am 29 yrs old male with an athletic body and nice and juicy Dick of 8 inches. I am very fond of sex and anything related to sex. You can say I am a sex maniac. I always see sexy ladies in their beautiful dresses and think of having sex with them. I started watching blue films when I was in 8th class and from then I got into the wonderful world of sex. I use to read porn literature and watch adult movies whenever I got the chance. Today I would like to share my experience with a couple which happened in Bangalore. Fro... Continue»
Posted by urpussysucker 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1208  |  
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ibiza night

It was 2002,I took a holiday to Ibiza with a girl I had been seeing for about a month,kind of a fuck buddy thing going on,well,to me it was. We booked the holiday for 10 days so there was plenty of time to fit a lot in,but mainly we were there for the clubs,the pills and the thrills,anyone that's been to ibiza will know what i'm talking about.Back home we were serious into clubbing too,that was our lifestyle cos we were young and enjoying ourselves.

Anyway one night we were out,I think it was at ''Space'',a well known club in ibiza, when we bumped into a group of girls from back home.I didn... Continue»
Posted by soupinapothot 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 778  |  
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Fuckn My Flat 2



My hands were shaking at the anticipation, she grabbed the back of my neck and brought me in for another deep kiss, my fingers danced lightly over the mounds of her boobs grazing the hard nipples as my hand got closer to her glistening thighs. I moved my hands over her pussy lips. Wet doesn’t even get close to describing her. This girl was hot and dying for some hard cock to make her scream. Her back arched as I lightly moved her wet lips apart, her panty gusset was soaked through with it as I dragged them off her, her ass raising in the air to help giving me a waft of her pu... Continue»
Posted by salahgabr 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 612  |  
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Untitled

Arranging to meet Sarah in the new pub was a waste of time she text as I arrived to say she was delayed somewhat I thought I'm here now no harm in a small glass of White was there I went inside for an afternoon it wasnt empty but not heaving I got my drink and headed for a table by the window I was thirsty and the first glass went down too quick so I headed to the bar for another I just sat back down when he walked in I blushed as his eyes clocked mine looking at him my god he was fit i looked away feeling flushed I couldn't resist another glance as he stood at the bar he was tall fit and a bo... Continue»
Posted by Hollysuckscox 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 447  |  
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What's so hot about gay/bi-guys???!

Well, hello everyone out there... I decided to write this down in my own thoughts, because so many men are asking me what I think is sooooo damn hot about bisexual men... Okay, if you are curious, I'll tell you!! I tell you what I think about it... ;)

So, the first thing I want to let you know is, how I even started watching gay porn... That was a couple of years ago... I started watching "normal" porn with guys & girls... But after some time, it became kind of boring to me... So I searched for something new... And I always wanted to know, how the guys do it to each other... So I went to th... Continue»
Posted by Red_Jill 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1137  |  
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The doctor is in

It starts with you going to the doctors to check your prostate. I work as the doctor, wearing a short white dress and under it my red bra and nickers. As I lean over you can see the top of my boobs. I shake your hand and asks you to take of your clothes and bend over.

You feel how I put some cold lubricate on your ass and some runs down on your balls. Then you feel how I separate your cheeks and puts in first one then a second finger inside you not wearing any glove. You moan a bit and I lean over you and asks if you like it. You nodd. I then find the prostate and start pressing-milking it... Continue»
Posted by kitten72 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 789  |  
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Chat Buddy, Fuck Buddy



I had been talking to this guy on the internet for about 3 months. He was obviously sex crazy. We had been constantly flirting and there was definitely a sexual attraction. He lived about 2 hours away, so finally one night I drove up there. After some chit chat and a few beers/shots of whiskey, he came up from behind me and kissed me. We ended up grinding each other while I was straddling him. I was so wet and I couldn't handle it anymore. We p... Continue»
Posted by Sexyvixen36 2 years ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 924  |  
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Little Piggy Series (Crackle in the Cold Barn)

Warning:
This story has breast feeding, sexual, d**g, and Dom/Sub training practices. If your trying to quit drinking breast milk, STOP HERE.


Once Upon a time in a Southern backwoods farming and mining community lived poor uneducated folk, I was one of those folks. My name is Tammy Sue, and I was a little 5'3 120 pound chubby girl with 38C udders that swelled to D's when I was impregnated. My hubby was from the North, and enjoyed by dutiful southern charm. He loved to give me assignments that would show my loyalty, and he firmly believed, as I did, that you always help... Continue»
Posted by WombDweller 4 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 3286  |  
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Movie Night.

Katie had only just found her seat and already she was feeling uneasy. The theater was packed; it was after all opening night. To her left sat a couple of teenaged girls chatting and giggling, to her right a father and son busy talking about the score of the game tonight. She did a quick scan of the dimly lit room but she couldn’t see him. She knew he was there, she just didn’t know where.

He had given her the toys and instructions to which she had to follow to the letter:

-8pm, Theater 7, row 5, seat 8

-Enter the theater with the beads in place and insert the vibrator when the lights... Continue»
Posted by brunettebabe85 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1071  |  
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Fun At The Pool

Hi. My name is Victoria Rose. I'm a sixteen year old girl whose parents have a very high income and I'm told to have a great body. I have long chocolate brown hair that goes to right above my bottom, bright ocean blue eyes, delicate long black eyelashes, a fair/ tanned skin (I live in Hawaii, which is where I am right now), a strong flat stomach, breasts that are size C4, a curved body and manicured finger nails and toe nails. I've decided to go to the pool today, but this isn't just any pool. Normally I would go to an outdoor one, but today I was afraid of getting burnt because it was just so... Continue»
Posted by milli214 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 3492  |  
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One day at work.

A true story.
I work in a large factory, i try to be friendly with everyone. When working the afternoon shift, there are cleaners that do the toilets, around teatime. One of female cleaners took a bit of a shine to me, a bit of flirting etc. I used to like talking to her whilst she was working, because she used to give me a flash down her top, you could tell she did it on purpose and she had big tits too.

After several weeks of verbal foreplay and tit flashing, i went to talk to her this particular day. She just blurted out...Do you want to fuck me... Me being the shy type just stood there... Continue»
Posted by andy5706 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 2808  |  
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