Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 65

Janet and John - Book 1

This is my take on the classic Janet and John stories, with apologies to Mabel O'Donnell.

Janet and John have the same birthday.
Janet and John are twins.
They live in a big house in the country with their Mummy and Daddy.
After school they love to take off all their clothes and run around the big garden.
John runs fast.
Janet loves to watch John’s little willie bounce around as he runs.
Janet runs faster than John.
John can only see her back and bottom as she runs away.

Janet doesn’t have a willie, she has a little slit.
Sometimes Janet hides behind a tree and lets John find her... Continue»
Posted by dasx2 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 1079  |  
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Girl Catches Mom Sniffing her Panties

I have been observing my mother smelling my panties for many years now and have discovered that she is gaining sexual arousal from them. My mom began smelling them when I was in my early to mid teens, around about the time when I began to have sexual thoughts, which often resulted in me leaving a creamy liquid in my underwear. For years she would typically take them from the laundry hamper and just feel them with her fingers, followed by raising them to her nose and sniffing for awhile... but now it has developed into her taking my dirty panties and wearing them to bed and work.

A few month... Continue»
Posted by MrSuspiria 3 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 13245  |  
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Construction worker

Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language.

He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his cock and starts masturbating.

The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the fuck is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand ... Continue»
Posted by ducati4652 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 2036  |  
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My son’s girlfriend

Well let’s just say I’m the mountainman66 I got that nickname so long ago I don’t even remember why. I’m a big old boy somewhat built like a tank, a water tank.



And like any good story worth telling, you have to have a protagonist and an antagonist.



But with this story you get to decide who is who.



It all started with my divorce, it left me somewhat high and dry, and not really caring about the opposite sex. Now who ever come up with that line had it right on the money. Opposite sex, what a laugh. More like obstinate sex.



BUT I’M NOT BITTER!



Okay now back to... Continue»
Posted by MountainMan66 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1274  |  
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NO BOYS ALLOWED

Mehek introduced me to her friends, showed me around her town, and helped me
settle in and acclimate to my new life. We were cousins by bl**d, but friends,
and pretty soon best friends by choice. We hung out together, had the same
group of friends, and shared secrets, everything that best girl friends do. She
even told me about the night she lost her virginity to her boyfriend. I must
admit that hearing her describe how it happened got me really sexually aroused,
and that night while Mehek was asl**p, I masturbated for the first time. I only
used my fingers and didn't even have an ... Continue»
Posted by thehornybabe 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 5469  |  
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Fucked By My Student



hi sexy guys the above pic is mine plz write ur dirty comments on my pic how i am looking without using simple words plz and also write how u want to fuck me like a brief sex story k and plz tribute my pic and send it to madhavimalika@yahoo.in



My name is Sunita Bajaj and I am from Vishakapatanam and I am married, 26 years old. I am fair in color with dimensions of 36-28-36. My husband loves me a lot and we enjoy our sexual life a lot. I wear sarees and expose a lot.

I always show my navel, back and cleavage.
... Continue»
Posted by madavi2 1 year ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1264  |  
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The first time for a nerd like me

Hello all. This is the funny, but sexy story of my very first time. before starting i'd like to let you all to know that i was 14 when i first lost my virginity. and prior to my first time i had next to no idea about sex. i was raised kinda proper and didn't have any real knowledge of sex outside of a very small amount of porn. that and i was 5'6 so kinda tall for my age. OK on with the show!

It starts with around October. Heavily tired from both a long school day and long day of football practice i began to walk my way back home from the school. wearing the normal team jersey and some blac... Continue»
Posted by overlorddlz 1 year ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1504  |  
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Becky in the Blizzard

(Beckys life is changed forever when she gets snowed in)

"Brrrr" said Becky, stepping out of her beat up SUV and walking up the driveway. It was the middle of February, and the snow had just begun to fall. She was dressed in sheepskin boots and gray sweats that had her school logo on the right hip, with a bright green zip-up hoody that was underneather her warm, brown winter coat that had fur on the fringe of the hood. Even though her clothing was for comfort, Becky knew that she still looked good. Her brown hair hung to the middle of her shoulder blades, she had straightened her hair for t... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 1236  |  
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The Club

The Club

I had joined Level 4 the previous week, thanks to
sponsorship from my friend, Ted, who had been a member
for several months. My membership card arrived in
Wednesday's mail, and I was eager to try it out. I
called Ted, and we arranged to meet in the bar at 9 p.m.
on Friday night.
After a few moment's conversation, we went up the
stairs to the topless club and headed for the restrooms.
Nobody paid any attention to us, not with dancers on
stage. Ted knocked on the door marked "Manager" and we
were admitted. Our membership was checked again by one
bouncer and the... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 3 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 448  |  
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RAW: The Sex Magicians

Part 1 1

AT THE ORGASM RESEARCH FOUNDATION Dr. Roger Prong, who was known by some foundation employees as "a bl**dy Peeping Tom" and a "horny old voyeur" was in fact very scientific, or so he always insisted as he watched the girls having orgasms.

At the laboratory, Josie Welch, already nude but with a single sheet demurely spread over her full and obviously glorious body, looked unhappy as Roger entered.

"They tell me there won't be any men today,"

she said as soon as she saw the doctor.

"That's right, my dear," he said with professional unction. "That part of your testing i... Continue»
Posted by Johnnytames69 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 302  |  
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Go Get Some (A Poem)

Just another poem...you don't have to take it to heart, though not a bad idea...

Go Get Some.

So, you’re looking for another rhyme,
Don’t know if I can do it this time,
I tried to think of something hot,
Something with a lusty plot,
Something you can read and wank,
But my mind simply came up blank,
So instead of reading some dirty poem,
While you’re sitting back at home,
Take a trip into the city,
Where you may find some real kitty,
Cause sex isn’t just to read about,
It’s something I can’t do without,
Cash your check when you get paid,
Go outside and actually ... Continue»
Posted by Exakta66 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 168  |  
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A hell of a woman

The Stories I'm writing here are absolutely true!

2011, October 02
About 11:45 pm

That Sunday began very quiet and it kept nice and silent. I sat in a room on a revolving chair directly at a broad wooden table and right in front of me some sheet metal signs were placed. On those signs were black numbers. From 1 to 10 for the ratings for the dance performances. Admittedly I only was Claude's conjuror and so his judging, as the Clubs vice-president, was worth more than mine but my view definitely could affect the results. So I sat waiting in the bikers clubhouse together with Claude who w... Continue»
Posted by Bea69 2 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 824  |  
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My own personal nurse

Last week I came down with a small cold I caught at a time out with some friends. I decided it was best to stay home and rest my head. Leanne called like she normally does every morning to check up on me before class. I explained that I was sick with a cold. She asked to come by after class in the afternoon and I told her she can come over anytime.

Later that day Leanne arrives. We hug and kiss as she walks inside my apartment. Leanne cooked dinner for the both of us. She asked if she can stay the night to keep an eye on me since I was ill. I told her yes and she asked to change in my clot... Continue»
Posted by Johnny916 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1493  |  
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Sex Therapy-Florida Style

A Florida couple, both well into their 80s, go to a sex ther****t's office.

The doctor asks, "What can I do for you?"

The man says, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?"

The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees.

When the couple finishes, the doctor says, "There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse." He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck, he charges them $50 and he says goodbye.
Finally, after 5 or 6 weeks of this routine, the doctor says, "I'm sorry... Continue»
Posted by papa61 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 1087  |  
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Dracula's Forbidden Forest

Music that would be playing in the background is as follows: Marilyn Manson "Sweet Dreams", Korn "Freak on a leash", Three days Grace "a****l i have become" and NIN "Closer". This is the first annual haunted hay ride for adults only with only 2 wagonfulls of people per night so early reservations are strongly recommended! This is an erotic ride for the halloween season for very sexual people, such as myself, to dress up and participate in the roles you are given. During the heat of the moment some participants if they wish can swap partners and so on. You must sign a disclaimer form before... Continue»
Posted by jenny462 3 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 478  |  
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first online hookup (crazy fun)

As I log on to my social network of choice, I put down my bottle of cola for a moment to input the password. As the page loads up I taste the sugary drink. In the corner of the screen there is 1 new friend request. "Maria" 20.

I remember working with Maria a few years before that, she was about 3 years younger then me but she was pretty open about what she wanted, even when she was 15. I accept, thinking to myself "worth a shot now".

A few moments later an IM bubble pops up " hey stranger, how you doing ? :)". Great I responded. Over the next hour or so we ... Continue»
Posted by thekp 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 837  |  
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Joke..!!

A married couple is lying in bed one night. The wife is curled up, ready to go to sl**p, and the husband turns his bed lamp on to read a book. As he’s reading, he periodically reaches over to his wife and fondles her special area. He does this a few times, but only for a very short interval before returning to read his book.

The wife gradually becomes more and more aroused and, assuming that her husband is seeking some encouragement before going further, Gets up and starts stripping in front of him.

The husband is confused and asks, "Why are you taking off your clothes?"

His wife repl... Continue»
Posted by papa61 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 1550  |  
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Theatrical......3

Theatrical ….3

I awoke with a start 2 hours later and quickly looked around, he was sitting in the chair in just his boxer shorts watching the sport, I sighed as I rested my head back down on the pillow, it had not been a dream, I really was with him but I also realised that the wine contributed to my collapse but I felt totally rested, I also realised that I was in the bed as he had covered me up in bed , I curled up in the bed happy to be with him and watched him, he turned and looked at me then came over then bent and kissed me, I felt so relaxed as I reached up and curled my arm aroun... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 242  |  
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Working Holiday

Just back for a works tip to Spain, 11 days in a place i wont name as I dont want to give the game away, but I had a great time.

Last time I was there was a lads holiday 9 years ago, this time I ended up with a house to myself because the guy who was supposed to cover the job was planning on bringing his wife and k** so the house was booked, when he dropped out I said I would do it.

Ended up in a nice house with a little pool, was not too busy around there so no neighbors to complain. Good stuff.

Like I said I was there on a lds holiday years ago and had a bit of cunt (english & scott... Continue»
Posted by happy_wanking 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 779  |  
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I fucked a MILF in a wheelchair

I was a grad student at Valdosta State University a few years ago and I used to see a M.I.L.F. in a wheelchair that was mid 40ish and very good looking. She had a really nice rack on her! I made a point of running into her a number of times around campus so I could talk to her. I discovered she worked for VSU and was not a student. She was divorced and had k**s grown and out of the house. I told her I liked to hang out at Bungelow's, a local college bar, and sure enough one night I saw her come in. I invited her to sit with me and I bought her a few jack and cokes and before long she was a bit... Continue»
Posted by DostaDude 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 3249  |  
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