Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 65

My best friend got lucky and shared with me

My best friend when I was 16 lived 2 doors down. We did most everything together. We'd go to the mall, movies and swam at the pool. Today we were going to go to the pool after school. He told me to come to his house when I was ready. We had known each other for years, our families too. It was normal for us to just walk in each others house like f****y. I had changed my clothes when I got home and went to his house, walking in as usual and headed to his room. When I reached his door, which was half open, I stopped. Looking in I saw he was naked laying on the bed, and his step-s****r was sucking... Continue»
Posted by querico44 3 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 2615  |  
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Farm job

My wife and I own alot of property,and a few horses.I am 6 foot tall 220 and about 8 inches.She is 5'2 about 140 and has 38dd tits,mm nice. Ok we got a horse that was about 2 years old.One day it seemed to be a little down so i called the vet.Lora asked me what the vet said. "he said the horse,Sam we called him,was in need of some attention.he said if I jerk it off the thing will be fine." She laughed.So reluctant to do it i asked my wife if she would please help me.It took some persuation but it was for Sam's health so she finally agreed to help,but seemed disgusted be it.
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... Continue»
Posted by sexybirsen 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 6076  |  
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Surprise!

Here I was, on a Sunday night, going in the club to have some fun.
After few hours of dancing and drinking, one pretty girl came and asked me to dance with her. Looking at her I saw that she`s not a "grenade" so I was thinking maybe I will have some fun tonight so we started dancing. After a while I started rubbing her ass, then I kissed her...OMG she was such a good kisser.
After she broke the kiss she asked me to come to her place and I was so excited that i took her hand and put it to feel my boner.
She gigled and we start walking to her place.
As soon as we arrived..i couldnt stop ki... Continue»
Posted by mercander 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  Views: 2085  |  
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Doctors Visit

I walked into the doctors office, the nurse took my weight and checked my bl**d pressure than took me to a room and said go ahead and take your clothes off, the doctor will be with you soon.

I’m a petite woman at 5’2, small with perky breast (so I’ve been told) a nice little firm and bubbly butt and yes, I am a proud owner of one of the thickest pussy out there, my lips are so huge it can cover most of anyone’s face who likes to eat.

Anyway, I disrobed and lied down on the chair, the room was a bit chilly and my nipples were solid hard, it took the doctor 10 minutes to come in the room. ... Continue»
Posted by dlbiblkm 1 year ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 6671  |  
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Velma cums clean with Shaggy

Shaggy felt cold slobber on his face, waking him immediately. "Oh man, Scooby..." he groaned. Scooby-Doo, his Great Dane, began giggling and licked his face again. Shaggy responded by a scratch between his brown ears. "Norville!!" a female voice called from upstairs. "Come and get breakfast!"

"Mom, like, stop calling me that!"

"As long as you're still living in my basement, I'll call you whatever I like, now get your breakfast!"

Shaggy looked at Scooby and said, "Like, well, let's get something to eat." Food was his primary motivation in doing anything.

Shaggy ran up the stairs, cl... Continue»
Posted by shmoe13 3 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1053  |  
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k**napped!


A little lesbian tale of sex slavery that I hope you will find amusing.


It had been, frankly, a rather wretched Friday. It started badly when Mr Jameson, the chief librarian, trapped me (again) in Maritime History (M to R) and practically wrestled me to the floor. When I told him for the umpteenth time that my interests lay in a different direction, he rather breezily replied that he was 'up for a 69 if that's what you mean'. Eventually I fought him off with a leather bound copy of A History of Nelson (Vol 2). Then, over lunch I had to listen to Maure... Continue»
Posted by Sapphiclover 4 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1124  |  
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Wow... Random woman dry humps me at Target? (10/1

Not good with writing stories, just joined x hamster a few months ago, but anyways this is a true story it just happened to me earlier today. (10/1/11)

So my mom and i went to to Target to get some stuff, and like i normally do at most stores i go check out the electronics section and game section while my mom shops for food and stuff. So im checking out the new game releases for xbox like MW3 and Battlefield, then i see a shelf full of these cool funny shirts in the mens clothing department. As i was reading all of these funny shirts i briefly looked up and my eyes met this woman who was s... Continue»
Posted by PigtailPuller 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 2547  |  
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The Agony & Ecstacy

Out of town on assignment, I was staying with my friends in an upscale part of town..MONEY! He was out of town for the day, and I, was house sitting during the evening. His wife was out with her girls friends, partying it up.

It was a boring evening channel surfing and reading a book. The book as better than TV and I was on my 2nd glass of wine, when I heard the rear door open.

In waltzed, very carefully, Linda, who appears very sexy and quite too much to drink. She leaned against the wall trying to, gracefully, remove her shoes. Her long hair, plus her low cut tank top displayed a fine... Continue»
Posted by silverfox62 2 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 916  |  
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MY FAV JOKES

Patient to doctor: The problem is that obesity runs in our f****y. Doctor to patient: No.............the problem's that no one runs in your f****y.

I was walking home late one night and saw a woman in the shadows.
"Ten pounds . ." she whispers.
I'd never been with a prostiture before, so i decided, it’s only a tenner,why not, So we hide in the bushes.
Were going at it for a minute or so when all of a sudden a light flashes on us. It’s a policeman.,"Ello ello ello,What’s going on here, " asks the officer.
"I’m making love to my wife!, " i answered indignantly.
"Oh, I’m sorry, " say... Continue»
Posted by icumonu 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 860  |  
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She Doesn't Like Girls

A few weekends ago I picked my girlfriend (as in, my friend who is a woman) up from the airport.

I met her about a month after she turned 18 and first had a threesome with her and the man we had in common upon our very first meeting. We had been chatting and flirting prior to meeting. We'd exchange pics and share our favorite porn over emails and texts, getting excited for our first meeting in a week or so. We loved the same kind of porn and we talked about how fun meeting up would be with our common lover. That was February 2012 and we are still very close friends…

When I picked her up... Continue»
Posted by Missy_X 1 year ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1692  |  
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Bad girl returns with the chav lads

Hi

My computer fucked up so have not been online for ages. Sorry about this. Will be on msn again too.

Anyway I am back and here is another true story about me and this chav crew I go with.

I went to Jason house as well I wanted some sex and a cool time. Anyway when I got there all the other lads were there so Jamie 19, Mickey 18, Nicky 18 and Cris 18.

They were on their way to get me as they had not seen me for a few days so were getting the urge for a shag and wanted to just chill out with me as well.

We went to the back of the spar around 11pmish so it was pretty dark. T... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 167  |  
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Cute And Sensual School Love

As it turned out I was the highest scorer in my cbse exams of class 10 among that class, so very soon I started getting my response from teachers and friends including girls. A few of them struck me as they were very beautiful, and one of them was she. Even though I am writing this story with our mutual consent, let me not display her name, some things are better kept secret. She was a damn good looking girl, with a cute look, average height of 5.3 and a killing smile. A smile for which half the school will die for. She was among the most beautiful girls of the school. She had small boobs whic... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 384  |  
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The Beautiful Officemate


I had always eyed her from the day I joined my new company just seeing her in her tight jeans and watching her ass move man I needed that ass we soon got close and were a lovely pair, We started of the regular petting sessions me kissing her lovely lips and she responded very well always opening her mouth wide to welcome my tongue. I would scoop out the saliva from her mouth with my tongue and taste it, and she loved to do the same, soon I was asking for more and so was she but had been fucked before it had been a long time and she just wasn't ready for it. Eventually we worked out a compr... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 343  |  
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Fully Dressed

Have you and another given each other a mind blowing orgasm while fully dressed???????????????

I worked in this kitchen in Fl. and there was this waitress that would always brush her large tits and plump ass against me when ever she would pass me in the kitchen area. So we talked flirtatiously to one another for about two weeks.

One night out back taking a break she comes out and we get into a heated conversation. She noticed I had a massive hard-on and she said "I wish I could ride that cock right now". I had on a pair of loose chef pants; she had on a pair of black tight cotton/polyest... Continue»
Posted by Gehld 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 752  |  
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Company of Men

Written by Janet(hotblackwetpussy42)

Diane a former prostitute want to escape away from her abusing
pimps, and other men. She wants to change her life around just to become a
normal person, she want to go back to school, get a good job. But, it's
seem whatever she do, she always fail. Diane loves to dress sexy, she
is 45 year old, and has an athlete shape with a size 48 D cup breast. Her
hips is very wide and her ass shake very heavy when she walk. Guys
can't resist stopping and staring at her. She just ignores them and continues
walking. One day she had an intervi... Continue»
Posted by hotblackpussy42 4 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1244  |  
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Meating The Hammer Man

I turned and slowly struck a pose in profile while Dede panned around my long hard on. "Have any of you seen Hammer Man?"

"Nope!" answered Cessa.

"Oh well," I sighed. "Do you suppose while we wait one of you could, (dramatic pause) Fuck me up my ass?"

********************************************************************

It was hard to believe that this was the same place I was in several weeks ago. Gone was all the casual joking, and the laid back atmosphere. It was replaced with all kinds of tension and a strictly business attitude.

Th... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  Views: 198  |  
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My foreign boyfriend.

This is a real experience guys, I had a boyfriend from London once and I spoke to him recently, we are no longer together because of the distance thing. We were on cam and everything, and I don't know how but we ended up talking about when we used to fuck... it was a bit embarrasssing because we don't talk about that shit anymore - it's the past. It really turned me on and I figured maybe it would be an interesting read.

It's not one of those erotic or dirty normal stories, it may be a bit boring or whatever but anyway.. Read on if you got the time - maybe it will make ... Continue»
Posted by xxxsarah69xxx 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 622  |  
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HERES ANOTHER ONE FOR THE BOOKS!

* KARI'S, JAILHOUSE SWANK!!!






------ Looking to get layed, Huh, Babe? Do you need me, Now, Want to get loud, and feeling proud? I know you want this, and I have it! So, come ready, and with it! Just, got to love this, "Shi... Continue»
Posted by JUICYBOX 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 547  |  
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SPITFIRE

Shannon Blake couldn't help it. She simply had to talk herself
into trouble. This had been a problem for her growing up at home,
at school and later on, wherever she worked. She seemed to
crave confrontation and constantly found herself arguing with
others over the smallest of issues.

Of course, this was before she met Erik Powell.

The two had been dating less than a month when Shannon managed
to instigate a loud argument in the middle of a film they
were watching. Aggravated by Shannon's behavior and embarrassed
at being part of a public spectacle, Erik took his date by... Continue»
Posted by meatloaf90 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 532  |  
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A Little Bite to Eat

You get home from the gym and call out to me that you are going to the shower, and you hear me mumble something back. You think nothing of it, assuming that there was something on TV.

Once you get upstairs you can smell the freesia candles burning. You glance into the bathroom and see it lit up with candles. You know I will be up shortly to join you, so you rip your cloths off and toss them into the bedroom and hop into the shower. You stand under the hot pulsating water. You are enjoying the feel of the hot water caressing your body, and you don't even notice me coming into the shower, unt... Continue»
Posted by bdpro 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 220  |  
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