Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 65

Special Stuffing-Happy Thanksgiving


" I can't beleive I'm doing this"
A thick wet slap resounds from the steel sink. It is followed by a moist gurgle and then the sound of wet suction followed by another wet slap.
"Don't throw out the gizzards, they're for the gravy."
A trilling giggle hits my ear next, then something heavy and slimy.I turn my head to be met with a slick fleshy column of skin bending towards me.
"That's the neck.Rinse it off and put it in the skilllhehehet." I laugh, pushing her arm towards the sink.
Giggling, she emerses her long fingers beneath the shooting water faucet and rubs them up and down the di... Continue»
Posted by lookyloo 4 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Cheating Done Right

My friend and her boyfriend were staying in my flat while her parents had their house remodelled. I’d given them my bedroom and I had the couch.

I got in at 8am exhausted from work, normally they were having breakfast right now but nothing. I went to my bedroom door and knocked, no answer, I opened the door to find the bed made so I got out of my work clothes, put them in the laundry basket, had a shower and changed into my joggers. I came out of my room, sat on the couch and turned the tv on “Morning tv is shit” I said to myself. I laid down, closed my eyes and hoped to drift off to sl**p.... Continue»
Posted by w4nk3r 1 year ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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The New Sexual Awakening

Most guys lose their Virginity in High School, Trevor Smalls wasn't most guys.

A meek and reserved young man, Trevor had a tendency to fade into the background wherever he was, the one exception being the Chemistry Lab that was where he burned hotter than his Bunsen Burner.

Being from a modest background made socializing at Pinkerton University especially difficult, as many of the affluent students didn't take to kindly to mere Scholarship students attending their school.

But Trevor saw an in, a way of making his financial and socially difficulties vanish, the Janice Prize.

The ... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Jail Bait Part 1

You see, I work with criminals at a half way house. On their way out but not quite free yet. Like clock work at 7pm is curfew, i work with one other guy at this location. It's in The Bronx, a lot of people who live in the neighborhood doesn't know what kind of house this is. For the most part it's extremely quiet and neat. Most of the time I'm left alone in the house I work the midnight to 8 am shift.
This one night around 3:30am. I was reading a romance novel, a inmate walked up to the desk, he talked about his case. Like I wanted to hear it at all. Then suddenly the convers... Continue»
Posted by virginblood 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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cum over for a drink (short but sweet)

I have this story to share, never actually told it to anyone before but it’s kind of fun so enjoy.
I live outside of town a couple of miles and therefore the parties always ended up at my place. Far enough from town that we can have a big fire and make some noise and no one cares but close enough to still get a taxi home or whatever. So, this was a typical small party. About 25 people gathered around the fire pit which was in my back yard. The house was always open so people could use the fridge or washroom etc. It was about midnight or so when I accidentally spilled a drink onto my pant leg... Continue»
Posted by mr_pearson12 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Stranger on a Plane


It was 7 months after the birth of my second c***d and 3 weeks after my tubal ligation. I was mildly anxious because this was my first business trip away from my husband and two k**s in over two years. The trip was important, our company was evaluating a water reclamation project and I was asked to lead the engineering team. I was nervous and my usual self-surety was shaky from the 12 week absence I had taken earlier in the year and the gravity of the current project. Don't get me wrong, I've always been confident in my abilities and I command respect of even the most senior colleagues. My ... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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That one time in the bushes next to school

This, like all the stories I post on here, is a true story.

I studied arts in high school, which basically meant my school was a melting pot of stoners, hot alternative chicks, emo k**s and a bunch of teacher’s still thinking they’re 16 years old. The school was one giant orgy: over the four years I attended it, I must’ve fucked about 30 to 35 girls, including all of my female classmates but one. I have so many stories to tell about my time there, but I’ll start with just one.

That time in the bushes.

At one of our school parties, I’d made up with this girl who was a year younger than... Continue»
Posted by Mercutio85 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo, Voyeur  |  
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Squashed out - Short Story

Jodie Marie, 22, freshly engaged with a car mechanic, is a simple woman. She likes to cook, to cuddle, and she certainly likes to make love. And because she has a boyfriend and seems to be well maintained by him, her fantasies are sometimes reflecting the realm of the unknown, the appetite for something new - and include sometimes even a woman:

I'm loosing the damned game! I hit the rubber ball harder, but with every mistake I make her grin grows broader. She is a friend of my mother, about her age, but still fit and not bad looking, but she is a bl**dy lesbian, playing with all the young... Continue»
Posted by sushicook 4 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Saturday Night Domination

I woke up last Saturday morning to find my beautiful girl Chrissy lying naked asl**p next to me, I kissed her sweet lips tenderly and cuddled up to her whilst thinking how lucky I am to have her... Little did I know, later that day she was going to show exactly how much she owns me!

After half an hour of watching my sl**ping beauty, she began to wake, smiling at me as she opened her heavy eyes and kissing me 'good morning'.
We spent the next hour or so doing as we normally do every Saturday morning, just laying there talking softly to eachother about anything, usually about what we have pl... Continue»
Posted by azid619 4 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
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Great Sex

How many a****ls do you find after great sex? 2 tired Asses,1 wet Kitty,and dead Cock.... Continue»
Posted by bildwarrior 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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A RANDOM FREESTYLE SEX POEM FRESH FROM MY BRAIN

She had no panties on and a mini skirt.
When he ate her pussy it made her squirt.
He thrust his hard-on deep inside
It felt so good she nearly cried.
"I've never been fucked quite like this,"
Then he pulled out and came on her tits.
"Oh we're not done yet; not even close.
Finger my ass hole."
"No, that's gross."... Continue»
Posted by squirtlover33 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The Sexual Awakening Part Three

Monday

I was so overwhelmed by the events of those last two days I stayed inside all of Sunday, hiding in seclusion in my room. But by Monday I knew it was time to go back to school.

"Cameron are you alright?" My mother asked tapping my shoulder through my blanket. "I'm not feeling well." I said from underneath the feather down comforter. "You stayed inside all day yesterday now it's time to get up!" I poked my head out and sighed "Fine!"

I got out of bed and quickly showered. As I got dressed I was about to put the watch on be decided against it, I instead left it where it was. I m... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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The new Secretary - Short Story

Mary Monroe, 21, secretary, single, enjoys one-night-stands more than a continuous relationship. In her vivid fantasies she uses her body to entice and encourage men to a spontaneous encounter without responsibility. Making love with the same partner for more than once seems to bore her and to hinder her for the all so fascinating new adventures:

I'm a bit nervous on the first day of my new job as a secretary. The manager that introduces me to my duties is young, handsome and very lively. With his dark brown eyes he scans my whole body, seems to undress me already in his mind. He stares a... Continue»
Posted by sushicook 4 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Kirk & Erin

[user]http://xhamster.com/user/teengirerin[/user]

I want to give out a little information before I write this story! My name is Kirk Parmer and I moved to Texas 6 years ago in April and I came from Alaska. I was born and raised in Alaska for 15 years and that is why I have the username Alaska. The xxx is because I like porn! Now this story is titled Kirk & Erin because this is like a parody of the biblical story of Adam & Eve. This story is going to be better though because its going to have sex in it! I hope you will enjoy this and please comment!
__________________________________... Continue»
Posted by alaskaxxx 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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"SpUnk coCK!"-LESLEY



when your a boy and your name is leslie-not female version ie lesley,
your first day at school is a real nightmare!-and it dont get any better
all the way through your school years.
boys are never gay but they sure get up to some strange games ,which if
any one else did would be "sooooo gay" i was teased and bullied a bit all
through my teen years,even though i soon learned too use my fists if things
got to "

crazy,i enjoyed hiding behind a "soft" image to see how far the guys
would go with "lesley anne" the S,punk rocker,yeah i was into punk... Continue»
Posted by spunkrokr 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Shemales  |  
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Jamie


They hadn't been married long. Still in the newlywed stage of things. They had, however, settled into a happy routine. Joe's only wish for Jamie - that she be a little more demanding in the bedroom. Jamie was shy, almost timid, not sure of herself when it came to asking for what she wanted. While making love, Joe would try to bring Jamie out of her shell, get her move vocal and involved. Did she like to be touched here? What position felt best? Jamie would try but it was still difficult for her. Joe loved her and accepted that he would always be the more dominant in their relationship. Or n... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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The Italian Job 13

The Italian Job 13
The following morning to a knock on the bedroom door, Hazel walked in with some coffee and toast on a tray, “morning sl**py head” she said “how are you this morning?” she asked “morning Kim” she said, as Kim shot out from under the covers, she looked at me “how did she know I was here?” she asked “she knows everything, I think she is a witch” I joked “ you had better believe it” Hazel replied, she went to open the curtains, she stopped, “you had better see this” she said, I looked and saw Maria laid outside of my window wrapped up in a blanket, she was physically shaking wi... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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How I did LSD & lost my virginity for the firs

This is my first story so constructive criticism please, if you like this I will post more stories from my strange & crazy life. This is a true story, happened to me in the summer of 05' best day of my life.


So first the stats, you fellow story readers seam to enjoy them. The girl in this story Rachel is/was 1/2 Puerto Rican 1/2 Mulatto, 5'4" maybe 125lbs, Curvy, a nice handful of tits & a rock hard ass that went on for days. I was & still am, 1/2 irish 1/2 mexican, 5'9" 144lbs very skinny yet toned from lack of body fat, I'm a grower not a shower, at 9inches when erect & I'm cut... Continue»
Posted by dayzicle 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Chapter V Lesbian Love & sodomy

Great Lesbian Love and sodomy
Chapter V --- ---

Other stories to read: http://bisoumidomi.unblog.fr



After this meeting with Michelle and Mark, we often spent evenings together. Sometimes I came alone or with the elected if it accepted the moment. Throughout this period I confess I papillonnais a girl to another. Finally, rather than admit I had in reserve several lovers, and that depending on the mood I was choosing one or the other. Each may not know the existence of others .. Not necessarily, with some it does not pose a problem while others are more exclusive I had to juggle... Continue»
Posted by CinquantNERF 3 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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BigBimbo's Memoire #1: First Blowjob

A young man's (In retrospect, I was more boy than man) first sexual experience with a woman is a powerful, powerful thing. It completely changes your self-perception, it answers so many of the questions from your post-sexualization youth and changes you from an innocent hopeful into hunter that will never stop his pursuit. Here is a recount of my coming of age tale:

My first real girlfriend and I met because she was one of the trainers for the football team. Her daddy was extremely wealthy, her mother was bipolar and on lots of meds and, as a result, she was very screwed up. I was obliviou... Continue»
Posted by bigbimbo 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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