Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 64

The Audition 4

The Audition 4 Pussy 101

When Jackie came onto the set wearing nothing but a pair of sandals and a strap on I knew what I had to do for my next scene. It was get on my hands and knees and take it like the fucking girlie man whore that I was.

The stick on the strap-on was even longer than the sex toy I had. That was the one big cock Sheila showed me how to use back in Boston. S/he showed me how to shove it up hir own ass then s/he rammed me with hir own long lady stick.

Plan B it seems was put in motion after Gay stud, stand in Dennis nutted too soon and thus lost his erection. I... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 6 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  
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The Bully

In the whole school no student was more feared the Erin Hardy. Rumors aboud of students being beaten up, teachers threatened and confis**ted d**gs and weapons. The crowd Erin ran with were the baddest of the bad, whenever shit went down Erin was there she was the top dog.

Surprised you didn't I?

You didn't read that wrong, Erin Hardy the toughest Bitch at Mckinnley High was a girl.

My dad was in the Air f***e and as such we moved quite a bit. In fact I had not set foot on Natural American soil in Eight years. He was retiring and got a job Flying for Quintus Airlines thanks to my "Un... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Little Piggy Series (Nascar Ole Country Style)

Warning: This story has Dom/Sub, Wife sharing, Brutal Anal, F2M Oral, male creampie cleaning, Alc., Humiliation, and Nascar. If you’re trying to quit watching cars drive in a circle, PLEASE STOP HERE.

One thing that us Southern backwoods inbred, white trash trailer rednecks are known for it Nascar. Now add some friends, Alcohol, and me, a dutiful wife, and you got yourself a good time! Cum see how I pleased my hubbies desires. Don't forget the shine.






Once Upon a time in a Southern backwoods farming and mining community, lived poor uneducated folk, I was one... Continue»
Posted by WombDweller 5 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Beer vs. Vagina

1. Beer is always wet. Vagina needs a little work. One point to BEER
2.Warm beer tastes awful. One point to VAGINA
3.A really cold beer is satisfying. One point to BEER
4.If after taking a swig of your favourite beer you find a hair between your teeth, you may vomit. One point to VAGINA
5. If you get home reeking of beer your wife may get mad, make a scene, kick you out, etc. If you get home reeking of vagina your wife may get mad, kick you out, even leave you. There's definitely a point to be had here, depending on your point of view and personal circumstances. I'll just call it a DRAW f... Continue»
Posted by juce_ 4 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Granny Susan Finally Gets Laid

I love grannies, short ones, tall ones, skinny ones and especially those with silver gray hair. I’m a 52 year old guy who loves his GILF’s over 60. I belong to a Senior Single’s Group in Oro Valley, Arizona outside Tucson. There are over 100 women in the group and only 35 men and most of them are over 70. So I have my pick of the best looking GILF’s in the club. These women have one thing in common, they don’t get fucked anymore!!!! That’s where I come in, at any one time I am screwing three to five different GILF’s, my answering machine is always full. Most of my stable of GILF’s know about ... Continue»
Posted by captjim51 9 months ago  |  Categories: Anal, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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a knock at the door



Jeremy, having had another lonely dinner, sat down to watch the evening news on the television. Just as the weather report had started, his attention was interrupted by a barrage of very light tapping on his front door.
Wondering who could be visiting him at this late hour, he stood up and moved towards the entry way. As the door creaked open, he noticed a a beautiful brunette, (about in her early twenties or late teens) was standing before the threshold, shaking and nervous in appearance.
Before he could ask what she needed, this tiny half whimpering voice, uttered light... Continue»
Posted by JerseyBean 5 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Water Masturbation

One great thing about my tiny apartment is my big soaker bath tub. I spend lots of time there relaxing and washing away the day's worries. Tonight was one of those nights when I needed to soak with bubbles surrounding my aching body. Work wasn't overly difficult today but I've been stressed out a lot lately.

As I laid in the tub, I started to think about my One. He loves to bath me, wash me, caress me in the tub. He treats me like his "little girl" and I love that. But it had been a while since I had masturbated and came. I haven't been in the "mood" which is also very unusual for me. I lai... Continue»
Posted by Kinkster-Gal 5 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Disgraceful soft sex with my cousin

This is not exaggeration, this is based on my story of 1993. I feel
ashamed, cause she my cousin s****r. I shouldn't have done this to
her. I am from South Tamil Nadu.
It was in my semester vacation of my first year, and she was studying
Ninth Std. It all started from this point, in the night before my
s****r's marriage, she looked as if an angel. She is a medium
complexion, but...but really beautiful mean it. She was wearing silk
blow and the bottom (pattu pavadai). I was instructed to look after
the k**s who were playing on the Marriage's hall terrace. I saw my
cousin s****r playing... Continue»
Posted by Zz611 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Fun with Cucumbers at the Grocery Store

Prelude: Hot sexy woman describes her sexual escape with a cucumber in the produce section.

I get up this morning and take a quick shower, then put on my favorite short denim jean skirt and a matching color tube top.

I check out myself in the mirror one last time, then say to myself, "Honey, for being a middle aged woman, you look hot!"

After I put on my dark blue high heel shoes, I am off the to store!

The first shopping cart that I choose has a front wheel that clicks, so I decide to turn around and get another one. Suddenly, one of the the guys that work in the produce section t... Continue»
Posted by TonyClinton 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Melting The Ice Queen

(Widowed Mother in Law moves in)

Ever since we first met, she had been a bit cool and aloof; no, make that cold. Her daughter Debbie and I had dated for close to a year before getting married. I was 21 years of age, she was 24; second marriage for her, first for me. Maybe the old bitch never liked the fact that I wasn't a doctor or lawyer, or some highly paid professional. Nope, I was just a regular guy working in the retail clothing business. But I made a decent living and between my earnings and Debbie's income as a hair dresser, we lived comfortably. In fact, with a few wise, early inves... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Morning Wood

Stretching with a groan, my hands reach for the warm body I can feel under the covers beside me. The early morning light pours in from the window just above the bed, and as my hands run over your chest -tangling in the thick hair that covers it- I can feel you reaching up to close the blinds. A smile erupts on my suddenly warm face, there can only be one reason for closing the blinds at this time of the morning. I reach above us to the windowsill to grab my glasses, making sure to lean as far over you as possible, my breasts raking over your chest causing my sensitive nipples to harden suddenl... Continue»
Posted by experiencedvirgin 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Special Stuffing-Happy Thanksgiving


" I can't beleive I'm doing this"
A thick wet slap resounds from the steel sink. It is followed by a moist gurgle and then the sound of wet suction followed by another wet slap.
"Don't throw out the gizzards, they're for the gravy."
A trilling giggle hits my ear next, then something heavy and slimy.I turn my head to be met with a slick fleshy column of skin bending towards me.
"That's the neck.Rinse it off and put it in the skilllhehehet." I laugh, pushing her arm towards the sink.
Giggling, she emerses her long fingers beneath the shooting water faucet and rubs them up and down the di... Continue»
Posted by lookyloo 4 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Cheating Done Right

My friend and her boyfriend were staying in my flat while her parents had their house remodelled. I’d given them my bedroom and I had the couch.

I got in at 8am exhausted from work, normally they were having breakfast right now but nothing. I went to my bedroom door and knocked, no answer, I opened the door to find the bed made so I got out of my work clothes, put them in the laundry basket, had a shower and changed into my joggers. I came out of my room, sat on the couch and turned the tv on “Morning tv is shit” I said to myself. I laid down, closed my eyes and hoped to drift off to sl**p.... Continue»
Posted by w4nk3r 1 year ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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The New Sexual Awakening

Most guys lose their Virginity in High School, Trevor Smalls wasn't most guys.

A meek and reserved young man, Trevor had a tendency to fade into the background wherever he was, the one exception being the Chemistry Lab that was where he burned hotter than his Bunsen Burner.

Being from a modest background made socializing at Pinkerton University especially difficult, as many of the affluent students didn't take to kindly to mere Scholarship students attending their school.

But Trevor saw an in, a way of making his financial and socially difficulties vanish, the Janice Prize.

The ... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Jail Bait Part 1

You see, I work with criminals at a half way house. On their way out but not quite free yet. Like clock work at 7pm is curfew, i work with one other guy at this location. It's in The Bronx, a lot of people who live in the neighborhood doesn't know what kind of house this is. For the most part it's extremely quiet and neat. Most of the time I'm left alone in the house I work the midnight to 8 am shift.
This one night around 3:30am. I was reading a romance novel, a inmate walked up to the desk, he talked about his case. Like I wanted to hear it at all. Then suddenly the convers... Continue»
Posted by virginblood 5 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Stranger on a Plane


It was 7 months after the birth of my second c***d and 3 weeks after my tubal ligation. I was mildly anxious because this was my first business trip away from my husband and two k**s in over two years. The trip was important, our company was evaluating a water reclamation project and I was asked to lead the engineering team. I was nervous and my usual self-surety was shaky from the 12 week absence I had taken earlier in the year and the gravity of the current project. Don't get me wrong, I've always been confident in my abilities and I command respect of even the most senior colleagues. My ... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Jill's Wild Interracial Adventure

(Jill's alligator mouth get her in real trouble)

How it all started:

L.A. in the summer, save for the pollution factor, isn't much different than Florida in the summer, both are hot, with crowded beaches as Jill was finding out. Long Beach they called the town named after all the beach front property, ran out all the way to Seal Beach, which continued to other beaches, but all the same waterfront, just miles upon miles of connected beaches. Still, with all that beach front you'd think there'd be some room to spread out in peace, she thought, as a group of black men stampeded through kick... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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cum over for a drink (short but sweet)

I have this story to share, never actually told it to anyone before but it’s kind of fun so enjoy.
I live outside of town a couple of miles and therefore the parties always ended up at my place. Far enough from town that we can have a big fire and make some noise and no one cares but close enough to still get a taxi home or whatever. So, this was a typical small party. About 25 people gathered around the fire pit which was in my back yard. The house was always open so people could use the fridge or washroom etc. It was about midnight or so when I accidentally spilled a drink onto my pant leg... Continue»
Posted by mr_pearson12 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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ICarly Sex Story; IAm Not A Virgin

ICarly Sex Story
Iam Not a Virgin

"I'm sexy Carly"
"and I'm slutty Sam"
"And this is ICarly"
Carly and Sam are doing a normal ICarly rehearsal in their studio with Freddie. As they get half way through Sam gets a text message.
"I gotta go" Sam says
"we're in the middle of rehearsal" Fredie exclaims
"I've got people to see" Sam responds
"Oooo a date?" Carly asked
"You could call it that" Sam says as she leaves with a dirty grin on her face.
"So now what?" Carly asks Freddie
"Oh I've got some tech stuff I need to fix"
"Alright i'll be in my room thinking of ideas for our next show... Continue»
Posted by sexybabe132 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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The Pack and a Girl


"Kristy, honey, could you get the Peterson file for me?" Daddy asked, looking up
from his desk.

"Sure," I grumbled. I hated working for my dad at the kennel. All my friends got
to run around after school. My dad, on the other hand, thought this would be a
positive experience for me, and insisted that I spend some hours after school
and on the weekends working in the f****y business. I figure he also had a
secondary motive. Puberty was beginning to influence my eight teen year old body, so
my pert titties and rounded hips were just beginning to swell to womanly
proportions. I t... Continue»
Posted by drew1207 1 year ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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