Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 64

The Panty Thief

by Just4kinks (just4kinks69@gmail.com)

Kathy settled into her window seat after boarding the plane.
Forty-minutes after take off, she began drifting into a dream about the
curly headed Bajan man she had a pleasant affair with during her
vacation in Barbados. Her lover was gently massaging her inner thigh
in the dream when she realized she was being groped. The hand belonged
to a balding, pot-bellied man with a Jamaican lilt. He was cooing to
her gently, "Baby, you so sweet. Me want to eat you like a peach.
Mmmm, you so wet and delicious," he said as his hand rubbed
... Continue»
Posted by just4kinks 6 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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three phases

A f****y is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, 'Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?'

The father, surprised, answers, 'Well, son, there are three kinds of Boobs. In her 20's, a woman's are like melons, round and firm. In her 30's to 40's, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions'.

'Onions?'

'Yes, you see them and they make you cry.'

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, 'Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?'.

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, 'Well dear, a man goes through three phases. ... Continue»
Posted by dashingboy 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The Builders Story

The Builders Story

Chapter 1
I was working in a driveway of a house somewhere in darkest suburbia removing ivy from a house preparing it for rendering. Ivy does terrible thing to brickwork, it shouldn’t be allowed. Anyway its a dirty job very dusty. This was the first hot day of summer and the sun was blazing down, so I was making the most of it. Striped to the waste (plenty of sun factor on). Around lunch a woman comes out of the house next door and proceeds to push her wheele bin to the front of the house.
“Hello I'm Paul,” I say from up my ladder.
“Ooh you made me jump. Hi, I'm S... Continue»
Posted by grandpoobah 4 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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s****r

Father Gray loved these conferences, this one was on the churches attitude to unmarried mothers, all wrath and condemnation a throwback to the good old days of the church when it inspired real fear and the clergy had proper power.
The day had gone well and Grey had been particularly s**thing in an address what went down very well with the audience of priests bishops and nuns.
Now as he sat in his small room at the seminary the made some notes and wrote his diary followed by a few letters.
There was a quiet knock at the door and Gray called enter without looking round.
"Mother superior... Continue»
Posted by celcus 6 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Fucking my Roomate

Fucking my Roomate
Part 1

I was 22 and I remember it was the day before my roommate's birthday. For the sake of the story let's call her Hillary. She is a lesbian (but I had heard stories of her fucking guys a couple of times). Good looking, great body (she was really athletic), and an admitted slut. But I had known her for so long it wasn't really a big deal. I did my thing, she did hers, and I never really thought about fucking her because she always talked about how sex with guys was "gross" that I guess I put a wall up. Besides I was more interested in girls I actually thought I had ... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Alien in town / there really are Orions

In my younger days, I was a decent amateur photographer. Once, when a friend got married she asked me to take her pictures. I agreed to do them for free if she bought the film. Neither f****y had much money and she readily agreed. Her future spouse came from a f****y where both mother and father had c***dren by previous marriages as well as some together. Except for the future groom, all were girls and all from 16 years old and up.Again, to save money, the mothers bought material and started sewing the dresses for the bridesmaids, most of whom were the groom's s****rs. They chose a bright for... Continue»
Posted by sometimesbored 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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My wifes best friend.

The other night i came home to find my wifes best friend sandy in the house with out my wife there. i though that was quite odd but not unsual for her to be there but not by herself. So i asked where my wife was oh she said she had to go to the grocery store to pick some stuff. I said oh okay no problem. I noticed that she had been drinking some wine. We started talking i asked her about her husband bill. She said oh hes at work like usual working long hours this time of year. I told her that sucks a wife like you he shouldnt be working long hours like that. He should be home with you. She blu... Continue»
Posted by joe6977 2 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Dennis The Menace: Part 1 - A Mother's Love

the characters in this story are copyrighted but the story is mine. depending on the responce to this story i have 5 more parts i will post.

Dennis The Menace: Part 1 - A Mother's Love
by Sniper32

Dennis was in his bedroom one afternoon, doing what young men do, when his
mother Alice stuck her head in and told him that she was going to the store
and would be back in about an hour. Now Dennis was home alone and being the
curious type decided to snoop around in his mom and dads room and see what
he could find. So he went down the hallway and into his folks room, first he
looked unde... Continue»
Posted by sniper32 4 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Service

(John & his s****r start neighborhood service)

CHAPTER ONE

John just knew that there had to be a way to capitalize on the fact that he knew his twin s****r Kelly had lost her virginity and was regularly getting laid. Even though they were only 18 years of age, John had enough of his father in him to always try to find a way to capitalize on a situation. That's what comes from having a stockbroker for a father. The fact that he was totally in love with his s****r and always had been just made it a little harder. He had constantly heard his father espousing the philosophy that business wa... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Valentines Day Virus

Dwayne gave a strangled moan of pain as he burst through the front door of his house, one hand clutched to his crotch and an expression of absolute agony painted over his face. With shaky steps he hurried up the single flight of stairs and rushed into his bedroom. He almost fell onto his bed and hurriedly unbuttoned his jeans, tugging them down to his knees. His boxers soon followed and he looked desperately at his genitals, the source of his pain.

His cock was fully erect and an angry red color. But what was most alarming was his testicles. Dwayne's balls looked huge and swollen, approxim... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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The Audition 4

The Audition 4 Pussy 101

When Jackie came onto the set wearing nothing but a pair of sandals and a strap on I knew what I had to do for my next scene. It was get on my hands and knees and take it like the fucking girlie man whore that I was.

The stick on the strap-on was even longer than the sex toy I had. That was the one big cock Sheila showed me how to use back in Boston. S/he showed me how to shove it up hir own ass then s/he rammed me with hir own long lady stick.

Plan B it seems was put in motion after Gay stud, stand in Dennis nutted too soon and thus lost his erection. I... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 6 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  
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The Bully

In the whole school no student was more feared the Erin Hardy. Rumors aboud of students being beaten up, teachers threatened and confis**ted d**gs and weapons. The crowd Erin ran with were the baddest of the bad, whenever shit went down Erin was there she was the top dog.

Surprised you didn't I?

You didn't read that wrong, Erin Hardy the toughest Bitch at Mckinnley High was a girl.

My dad was in the Air f***e and as such we moved quite a bit. In fact I had not set foot on Natural American soil in Eight years. He was retiring and got a job Flying for Quintus Airlines thanks to my "Un... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Granny Susan Finally Gets Laid

I love grannies, short ones, tall ones, skinny ones and especially those with silver gray hair. I’m a 52 year old guy who loves his GILF’s over 60. I belong to a Senior Single’s Group in Oro Valley, Arizona outside Tucson. There are over 100 women in the group and only 35 men and most of them are over 70. So I have my pick of the best looking GILF’s in the club. These women have one thing in common, they don’t get fucked anymore!!!! That’s where I come in, at any one time I am screwing three to five different GILF’s, my answering machine is always full. Most of my stable of GILF’s know about ... Continue»
Posted by captjim51 11 months ago  |  Categories: Anal, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Little Piggy Series (Nascar Ole Country Style)

Warning: This story has Dom/Sub, Wife sharing, Brutal Anal, F2M Oral, male creampie cleaning, Alc., Humiliation, and Nascar. If you’re trying to quit watching cars drive in a circle, PLEASE STOP HERE.

One thing that us Southern backwoods inbred, white trash trailer rednecks are known for it Nascar. Now add some friends, Alcohol, and me, a dutiful wife, and you got yourself a good time! Cum see how I pleased my hubbies desires. Don't forget the shine.






Once Upon a time in a Southern backwoods farming and mining community, lived poor uneducated folk, I was one... Continue»
Posted by WombDweller 5 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Beer vs. Vagina

1. Beer is always wet. Vagina needs a little work. One point to BEER
2.Warm beer tastes awful. One point to VAGINA
3.A really cold beer is satisfying. One point to BEER
4.If after taking a swig of your favourite beer you find a hair between your teeth, you may vomit. One point to VAGINA
5. If you get home reeking of beer your wife may get mad, make a scene, kick you out, etc. If you get home reeking of vagina your wife may get mad, kick you out, even leave you. There's definitely a point to be had here, depending on your point of view and personal circumstances. I'll just call it a DRAW f... Continue»
Posted by juce_ 4 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Cheating Done Right

My friend and her boyfriend were staying in my flat while her parents had their house remodelled. I’d given them my bedroom and I had the couch.

I got in at 8am exhausted from work, normally they were having breakfast right now but nothing. I went to my bedroom door and knocked, no answer, I opened the door to find the bed made so I got out of my work clothes, put them in the laundry basket, had a shower and changed into my joggers. I came out of my room, sat on the couch and turned the tv on “Morning tv is shit” I said to myself. I laid down, closed my eyes and hoped to drift off to sl**p.... Continue»
Posted by w4nk3r 1 year ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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a knock at the door



Jeremy, having had another lonely dinner, sat down to watch the evening news on the television. Just as the weather report had started, his attention was interrupted by a barrage of very light tapping on his front door.
Wondering who could be visiting him at this late hour, he stood up and moved towards the entry way. As the door creaked open, he noticed a a beautiful brunette, (about in her early twenties or late teens) was standing before the threshold, shaking and nervous in appearance.
Before he could ask what she needed, this tiny half whimpering voice, uttered light... Continue»
Posted by JerseyBean 5 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Water Masturbation

One great thing about my tiny apartment is my big soaker bath tub. I spend lots of time there relaxing and washing away the day's worries. Tonight was one of those nights when I needed to soak with bubbles surrounding my aching body. Work wasn't overly difficult today but I've been stressed out a lot lately.

As I laid in the tub, I started to think about my One. He loves to bath me, wash me, caress me in the tub. He treats me like his "little girl" and I love that. But it had been a while since I had masturbated and came. I haven't been in the "mood" which is also very unusual for me. I lai... Continue»
Posted by Kinkster-Gal 5 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Stranger on a Plane


It was 7 months after the birth of my second c***d and 3 weeks after my tubal ligation. I was mildly anxious because this was my first business trip away from my husband and two k**s in over two years. The trip was important, our company was evaluating a water reclamation project and I was asked to lead the engineering team. I was nervous and my usual self-surety was shaky from the 12 week absence I had taken earlier in the year and the gravity of the current project. Don't get me wrong, I've always been confident in my abilities and I command respect of even the most senior colleagues. My ... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Disgraceful soft sex with my cousin

This is not exaggeration, this is based on my story of 1993. I feel
ashamed, cause she my cousin s****r. I shouldn't have done this to
her. I am from South Tamil Nadu.
It was in my semester vacation of my first year, and she was studying
Ninth Std. It all started from this point, in the night before my
s****r's marriage, she looked as if an angel. She is a medium
complexion, but...but really beautiful mean it. She was wearing silk
blow and the bottom (pattu pavadai). I was instructed to look after
the k**s who were playing on the Marriage's hall terrace. I saw my
cousin s****r playing... Continue»
Posted by Zz611 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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