Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 4
Tip #1 - Fix your Profile
Look at your FB Profile. What does it say about you? A girl that doesn't know you yet - what kind of image will she create about you when she checks your Profile? Think about it. Manipulate your profile to create a more attractive image about yourself. A guy that travels, has a lot of friends and has a strong identity is much more attractive than a guy getting wasted with "the boys" and behaving like a douche. Think about what your profile TELLS about you, then work on it.
Tip #2 - Don't be an Open Book
"Open books" are guys that are, well, open books. A girl... Continue»
This is what all girls had to say when we asked them to mention a few traits that they like or dislike about men. So if you haven’t been out with women, or haven’t been able to hold on to a steady girlfriend, take a look. With this, tomorrow could be your lucky day! we compiled a few turn on’s and a few turn off’s that the men can definitely use.
Things that Impress Women
2. Sense of Humor
7. Focused Goals
8. Great Imagination
9. Independent Streak
10. Passionate and Desirous
11. Bravery and Coura... Continue»
1. Calling you does not mean we are hitting on you
Most men are left wondering that why’s it that just because he called you, you assumed he wants you to fill in the post of his girlfriend. He may actually just want to hang out with you.
2. You are much prettier without all that makeup
Your basic foundation and kajal is fine, but layers upon layers of makeup only makes you unappealing to your guy. So keep it simple.
3. When you act giggly, it’s seriously embarrassing
When you spot your gang of girls while you are out with your boyfriend, don’t squeal and go giggly or jump up and down.... Continue»
Once you've made up your mind about having a baby, visit a gynaecologist to get a check-up done. There's a lot you need to learn and know about pregnancy and getting your doubts cleared by an expert is a good idea. Ask your doctor about prenatal vitamins that contain folic acid, which will decrease your risk of having a baby with neural tube defects. If you have any medical problems, they need to be brought under control before you become pregnant.
Familiarise yourself with your cycle. Each woman is different. Remember that ovulation is the best time to get pregnant and symptoms of ovulati... Continue»
Virginia Ross, 21, unemployed, would like to be a ..., but the men in town are all too familiar or then too ugly. So she has always an eye on the good-looking tourist that appear from time to time. And even when her game of seducement isn't always working out, in her erotic fantasies she never looses a good hanky-panky. Here is her favourite one:
I'm just hanging in the half-empty hotel bar, I'm sipping my last beer as this handsome young tourist suddenly comes in. He spots me instantly and offers me a drink. I'm very grateful and offer, to play a game of pool with him. I'm very good at p... Continue»
Mona Lindley, 29, single, international sales manager, travels a lot. She doesn't like men too much, despises kissing, is disgusted by touching dicks and hates warm sperm trickling down her thighs. But she uses men for her sexual satisfaction, and should there be none around her at the moment, she endulges always in her own erotic fantasies!
The golden sun sinks tired into the soft bed of clouds and the veil of the night draws over it to keep him warm. The contant vibration and the numbing hum of the heavy jet engines are lulling my senses. I made a bit of small talk with the guy next to ... Continue»
Suzie Yong, 25, an erotic dancer in a night club, had encounters with men more than enough. She maybe experienced a lot of rude and humiliating behaviour, so she pulls herself back into her snail house for her fantasies: She wants to stay in control, and she doesn't want to be screwed - her Asian peach flower is is not for grabs and not for sale:
I'm always horny and I never wear a slip. I enjoy the unrestricted freedom of movement and the fresh air fanning my peach. Especially on Saturday nights I dress very lightly to entice my prey. I stand at the back window of the crowded bus from th... Continue»
1. When we talk 'listen', it shows us that you care about our feelings.
2. Men should be smart enough and understand that not all our bad moods are connected to PMS-ing.
3. Guys, developing an EQ (Emotional quotient) would help. That however, does not mean that they need to cry at the drop of a hat, it just means you need to be more sensitive towards us.
4. With women communication is the key, so try and talk to us often.
5. Here are some traits we wish men would display – chivalry, making an extra effort with our friends and f****y, because we do the same!
6. Cook for us o... Continue»
The night before we had been watching the film The Pianist i
lluminated on her bedroom wall. I had been making appropriate and thoughtful comments throughout until they had thrown the disabled man, wheelchair and all, off a third floor balcony. “They’re only showing the bad bits,” I said. “Oh they should show all the good bits should they?” she asks in a sharp revoke. I say nothing more for a while.
Then the Russians came. The last Germans units were killed or fled the ruined city as it was liberated, and the pianist had lived through it all to play the tale. We had sex later. Emot... Continue»
Professor David Perrett, of the University of St Andrews, said that the characteristics of our parents are imprinted in our minds as c***dren, so that we remember and recognise our parents from a very early age.
This is a result of observing our families at close quarters and is seen in other mammals, reports the Daily Mail.
But it seems these "remembered" characteristics do go on to influence who we find attractive in later life.
The researchers conducted a large-scale survey, asking 300 men and 400 women (all of whom were in a relationship and who had been brought up by two paren... Continue»
Slipping cups, breaking straps and dreaded 'back fat' – are all the horrors of not wearing the right bra for you.
Queen Elizabeth II's longtime bra maker and bra fitter says that most women - 85 per cent - aren't wearing the right size.
"It's because they've gone to a shop that doesn't know how to fit them properly," June Kenton told a London newspaper after her retirement last year," the Sydney Morning Herald quoted her as saying.
Kenton recalled dreading her first royal visit in 1960.
"Can you imagine what it was like? Most people first meet the queen when she's wearing an evenin... Continue»
his name is albert me and my friend danna went to a club and got wasted so albert took us to his apartment he is probably 50yrs old but he said he could do what most white men cant and pop a pringles can he said first we had to show him our thongs well i dropped my pants and showed him my hot pink thong and danna showed him her yellow thong well he whipped that cock and jammed it through a pringles can and popped the top off his dick had to be 13 inches he told us in 3 wks he wants to fuck us both but i want to know if there are bigger black cocks available for both of us... Continue»
i was in my cage , sl**ping, when my master came in and said“ get up little one” then he unlocked my cage. i crawled on my hands and knees to his side the sat on my knees ,head down.he bent down and pated my head.“good slave” then he hooked a leash on the colar that was way to tight around my neck.and that colar was all i was wereing.“how may i serve you my great master?” i asked.“bitch you know how to serve me!” he said suddenly angrey.“now for your stupidity you wi
ll be punished!”he screamed.i wimpered.he pulled my by my leash to the torture room.“get on the table slut!”n... Continue»
The knock on the hotel door meant he'd arrived, and as I slipped on my cool plastic mac, being careful not to dislodge my long talons, it helped to conceal the stiffening bulge under my tight plastic skirt. I opened the door, to a tall dark stranger, enveloped in a long shiny, double-breasted rubber mac. He grabbed my arm, gently linking, and, without speaking, I tottered along carefully, in my new boots, past reception, and into his big black BMW. My heart was thumping, and the pulse throbbed even tighter down below. We set off, and he simply said, "Smoke. You fucking slut." It was hard, with... Continue»
A former Auckland teacher has been deregistered after posing nude in a pornographic magazine.
Rachel Whitwell was investigated by the New Zealand Teachers Council (NZTC) after a member of the public complained her actions had brought the profession into disrepute.
Ms Whitwell was featured in the New Zealand and Australian editions of Penthouse in "various states of undress, including totally naked".
One picture showed her d****d over an old fashioned school desk.
The magazine quoted Ms Whitwell as saying: "I am submissive in the bedroom because during the day I have to be in contro... Continue»
All day I'm nervous and can hardly concentrate, cause I am not sure what to expect later that night.....
I get dressed in a pair of jeans and a fitted brown colored top that gives a nice view of my breasts. I swoop my hair up (for the adult look) and put on some comfortable shoes and grab a matching bag. Before I leave the room I survey myself in the mirror..."damn, i do look good", I thought.
I walk out to the living room to meet my darling. I can see him looking at me and I can almost hear him thinking, "damn"!!! I walk up to him and he touches my left cheek and tilts my head upward,... Continue»
This is another true story about the chick I worked with at the factory. It just came to mind and I thought I'd better post it before I forgot it again. I hope you enjoy and please leave comments. Thanks!
I spent the night at her place and as usual when we went to bed, we fucked. I swear this bitch loved to fuck more than any other woman I've ever met! and it was very easy to make her cum, I've never seen a woman that was able to cum that easily and in so many different ways! Oh yeah and the best part...She was a squirter (my first and only one)I loved that about her! Ok here goes. Like ... Continue»
The Stories I’m writing here are absolutely true.
2009, November 30
About 11:30 pm
It’s always a good opportunity to meet new people when a friend throws a party – and if you want to get talking to groups easier it’s better if you already know several party guests. I’m glad that I roughly knew the host of today’s celebration, a young Japanese women we all simply named Kira because her true name was, like the one of many Asians, hard to say for a “westerner”. This young girl already looked a bit crazier than many others. Black, shoulder long hair with pink streaks and also her make up ... Continue»
He Didn't Stand a Chance :-),
They were the perfect neighbor's, a pretty Mom, a fairly large son and a lovely daughter, there didn't seem to be a husband, father. They didn't say and I didn't ask.
That's what I mean, perfect neighbors. A smile or a wave, the occasional 'hello' if we crossed paths. Not noisy, no loud cars, I had to smile as every now I could hear 60's or 70's music, Mom? in between the c***dren's music, well, what they call music.
Like I said, perfect neighbors. They seemed to fit in with the others in our small cul-de-sac. I lived right at the end of the street and coul... Continue»
Excuse me Miss, Is this your shop???"
er, yes, Yes it is, can I help. Pip looked over at the man at the shop
entrance tall, stocky, suited & booted. He was carrying a clipboard and
"Can I see your shop agreement & confirmation of business forms, please"
He spoke politely but firmly.
"Have you just opened??"
Yes. Pip replied
"and how long has that been...." a stern look
just a week now.....
"The forms then please, I have no notification that you have right to be open
or to sell or serve customers!" a Very stern look now on his face
Oh, er... Continue»