Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 15

My Past Life

“Your hands, your mouth are to be helpers to my cock, as are those of your s****r!
She has made me cum, with her hands and mouth, more times than I can count!
At command, she hardens me, strokes me, licks, sucks, until the inevitable end of her skills, and then, what do you think happens? What do you suppose I do?

I shoot my cum, my semen, on her face. That is my greatest pleasure, but not by any means my only one. But soon, you will see for yourself what I will require from you”.


I will make no comment on the above variant version of the Marquis de Sade, except to say that it is ... Continue»
Posted by Raedman 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Close call.

So the other day me and my girlfriend were home and her mom and b*****r stopped by the house real quick to bring us something for us. Well, when the 3 of them were in the living room I went to me and my girlfriends bedroom to get my phone, let's say I didn't get close to the phone. I was in the mood to fuck and cum on some heels, which I wished I would have had the camera. So while they're still in the living room I dig through our closet and get out the victim: A beautiful 4 inch, Nine West, black leather round toe heel(Yeah I gave the brand and type of heel, gotta make a story great with det... Continue»
Posted by shoeluvr 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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For thousands of years, men have tried to understa

AIM:

Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.

You don't get any points for doing something she expects.

Sorry, that's just the way the game's played.

Here's a guide to the points system:

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed ...............................+1
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.....-1
You leave the toilet seat up....................-5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty... 0
When the toilet paper has run out, you resort to Kleenex...-1
You go out to bu... Continue»
Posted by Jim-Nice-But-Dim 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Ménage A Trois by Ghipster

Ménage A Trois by Ghipster

“Our cocks are no bigger than white men’s cock”. I shouted to the applauding audience of the university’s Jr. KKK Fraternity “And I speak for all black men everywhere, when I say,
THANK YOU! Thank you for this flattering but preposterous myth. And they say white folks ain’t done nothing for us. Ha!”
This unbelievable line of bullshit yielded me a standing ovation and an session of signing autographs afterwards. Little did anyone know, I did the whole lecture strictly on a dare from my pot-head roommates. But such was the life back in the glory days of coll... Continue»
Posted by ghipster 3 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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funny but sexy!!!

This is a true story I swear it and I hope the lady in question doesn't read this that is why I shall not put any names. You guys know me from my videos with Aspen by the name Dr. Sleeze/Bothced. I was introduced to this lady and yes she was of legal age, 29 I think. Before me she had only dated African American men but for some reason we clicked and she had part of my dark weird humor in her but we got together at her apartment and before we even took our clothes off she started telling me all this crap about why before me she had only dated black men and the last one she said had a big peni... Continue»
Posted by amatuerdrandpimp 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Story

Vi träffades nere i stan en vårdag..vi kramades och gav oss en het kyss..vi gick till ett kaffe och beställde kaffe med bulle..
Jag satt sidan om dig..tog min hand och smekte utanför dina byxor..den reagerade snabbt..jag log..
Du sa att den hade längtat efter mina smekningar...då viskade jag till dig att jag inte hade några trosor på mig..
Du flämtade och sa..du då åker vi bums hem...men jag svarade..nää det gör vi inte och började smeka dig igen..jag log..
Du tog din hand under min kjol och vandrade uppåt och jag stretade så du kunde känna hur våt jag var...
Du viskade i mitt öra..Mmm..d... Continue»
Posted by Christel60 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Tow the Line: Part One

Dating in the modern age sucks!

So much of our lives is available at the push of a button. It's very hard to get dates when a quick Google search reveals your hidden Skeletons. In a flash any prospective mate can see your Wedding photos on Facebook, or a positive review of a Herpes cream you bought on Amazon.

For me, the thing that stands out is; Murder.

If you'd pass me on the street you'd be surprised to learn that I took a life, yep it's true. And I spent my Teens in Jail for it.

From Thirteen to Eighteen "The Mossberg home for Juvenile Offenders" was my home. And while those... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo, Voyeur  |  
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mmm

Wow, that was pretty exciting," Sue said when he had disappeared. "I didn't realise what a randy sod you are, Steph. You wouldn't think that you only started frigging around today."

"Maybe, but I've been feeling like it for weeks. You know, I could easily let some bloke have a proper eyeful of my fanny, without any knickers in the way, I mean. They may as well be off, because they're saturated in any case. I'm really juicing up."

"Me too, but I don't know that I could just flash my fanny in cold bl**d as it were. Once we pull some bloke though, no problem."

"Tell you what, let me take... Continue»
Posted by foreignera 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Porno Party?????

I very rarely go to parties.

Most of the time I think of going to parties as some sort of a chore that I have to do for the person that I like that’s throwing the party, or the person that wants me to come with them. It’s just so hard for me to find interesting people to talk to, and I’m terrible about forcing a fake conversation. I just can’t do it anymore.

The only time parties are really fun for me besides the rare time when I get to talk to someone interesting, is when something fucked up happens.

So when I got a call from one of the guys I do jiu jitsu with, asking me if I wanted... Continue»
Posted by a_chord90 3 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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the boy was now a man. pt 1

A fictional story of a boys fantasy

As a youg lad growing up in a major female house,2 s****rs Candy 20 and sophie 18, I was always curious about the female body and often researched this on the net (watching porn really) I learnt that by looking at women clothed it wasnt much fun but by seing them partly clothed or naked, thats where the fun begins, I did some home study on this observing my s****rs undress, fuck and materbate some call it perving I wold rather like to think it was observation, also I had observed, that older women where hornier and more you observe the harder your cock ge... Continue»
Posted by rodma 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Future Fuckin' - Fiction

January 5, 2113
Today was better than yesterday, at least. I was only f***ed to ejaculate seven times, compared with the 12 times I had to endure yesterday. I'm not sure what they think they're doing to me, but I know that if they keep it up, my balls will run permanently dry. They already feel like a couple of dust bunnies and I'm only halway through the week!

January 6, 2113
I was talking to a new "recruit" today about what's been going on outside these walls since I got here a year ago. Apparently, not much has changed. The Worldwide Overpopulation Mitigation And Neutralization program... Continue»
Posted by femalesonly 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Vampires! Final Chapter




It was just after sunset and Danny was relaxing alone on a large four poster bed in the luxurious home of the vampire called Christian.

Danny had come to Christian's elegant home with his neighbor Sylvia, who was also a bl**d sucking vampire. Danny and Sylvia had a neat little, mutually beneficial arrangement going where Danny would let the beautiful vampire drink a small portion of his bl**d, and in return Sylvia would give the eighteen year old mind blowing oral sex.

From what Danny c... Continue»
Posted by pornaholic63 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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The New Sexual Awakening: Part 3

Day 20

"It's been 20 days since I was exposed to the Augmented formula. In that time I have had several partners both male and female. The chemicle effect seems to supress inhabition as well as exaggerating Hormonal production. The effect even overrides sexual orientation as evidenced by my liason with a confirmed Lesbian classmate. With Spring Break quickly approaching I have decided to put my study on hold. I have developed a contact lense solution to dampen the effect of Occular stimulation."

Trevor closed his notebook and locked it in his desk drawer, then with bag in hand he proceed... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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School Girl Bullies


I never really liked school, I'd have much rather spent my precious teen years partying all night and sl**ping all day, but I had no alternative...

I was quite popular, but due to various circumstances, one by one I lost my friends and ended up being on my own. I was always shy around meeting new friends though and none of the other k**s cared for me so I ended up feeling lonely and miserable.

One day, during the lunch time break, I had just ate my small packed lunch and headed off to the nearby field next to the playground to sit around watching the world go by.

"Psst... Psst, hey... Continue»
Posted by azid619 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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B5 Chapter 21 The Vectrans Arrive

Chapter 21: The Vectrans Arrive (I Knew We Should've Taken That Left Turn at Albuquerque)

The starship Delphi 4 pulled into orbit around the earth. Long before the starship had come within range of any detection devices on earth, the Vectrans had activated a cloaking device for the ship.
"Cloaking device activated, Commander," said Rayleena. "We're now in orbit about the planet. They'll never know that we're up here, unless something should happen to hit us, and our sensors are too sophisticated for that to happen."
"Very good, Rayleena," Rhiannon replied. "All right. Rayleena, ... Continue»
Posted by gregster 3 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  
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B5 Chapter 24 The Vectrans Arrive - Part 2

Chapter 24: The Vectrans Arrive - Part 2 (Or: Now You See It, Now You Don't )

The next day, the landing party beamed down to the Bahamas successfully, and they managed to mingle with the population without incident for the most part. To the rest of the townspeople, they appeared to be six other women who were on vacation, and they paid them no undue attention. Unfortunately, along with not being noticed by the locals, the six Vectrans had spent several days on the Islands, with very little success to report so far. The girls gathered together at a fast food restaurant for lunch one afte... Continue»
Posted by gregster 3 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  
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Renaissance Man - No Sex But How To Be A Guy Women

If you are a nice guy then you are a Renaissance Man.

Never put yourself down as average or guy next door.
Nothing wrong with being a nice guy.
You can role play, but inside women will sense a player vs a man.

Women who do play or desire sex here are not sluts despite what they may post.
That is just a label...they are still women inside.
Just as not all who are on here are perverts, but mostly real men and women who either find it an escape or way to hook up and satisfy their needs.
If a woman is f***ed into a sex role by her man then be aware it might not be the fantasy it a... Continue»
Posted by asianflyer 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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B7 Chapter 15 Epilog - Washington

Chapter 15: Epilog - Washington

The cigarette smoking man smiled as he drove to work at the Pentagon on Monday morning. All in all, it had been a very good week for him. Although he couldn't be there to see the shit hit the fan in person, he had a very good idea of what had happened recently on the Island in the Bahamas. The intelligence satellites and the information systems at the Pentagon could keep track of just about anything on the globe, after all. Not many people on the planet had known about the starship that was recently in orbit about the earth, but his agency was one of the... Continue»
Posted by gregster 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  
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Dark Domination-Women In Charge

i believe in traditional ways as well as exploring sexuality with women who dont fit into a mold or model, but are willing or desiring to let loose that inner woman.

I enjoy intimacy with a woman and not just sex. I take married women, but only after a she reveals how long its been since shes had sex. it says she wants a lover and id rather be that one, and not some tool who would use her as a piece of meat.

Some women say they get sex 1x week or 1x month for 10 min by king of queens type guys, who were great at first but now dont like their hairiness, giving them oral, or if they gain ... Continue»
Posted by asianflyer 3 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
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Just some crazy stuff

FUCKING: two or more people engaging in sex, without having any meaning
Fuck in its literal meaning refers to the act of sexual intercourse. It is an English word that is almost universally considered vulgar. It is often used as a profanity, either to denote disdain or as an intensifier

SLUT: Something I like to be....a term applied to an individual who is considered to have loose sexual morals

WHORE: Something I'm not, but to some people I am...a prostitute or promiscuous woman
I do not take money for sex, but sometimes I wonder if I should...I'd love to have my own place, so t... Continue»
Posted by loloishorny 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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