Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 15

Billiards and the Hooker

-------- Billiards and the Hooker --------

I was sitting at the bar in a rock and roll club not far from the traffic circle just outside Fort Benning. I'd been there for a little while, sipping a beer. The band wasn't too bad, but the crowd was small, not much going on.

A skinny little guy, younger than me, long hair, worn clothes, your generic weasel type, had come in and sat down at the bar a couple chairs down. When the bartender came to serve him, he ordered a draft beer and dragged out some change from his pocket and was counting nickels and dimes. I shrugged, what the hell, and... Continue»
Posted by cptfritz 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
  |  3

Almost caught getting head

I was dating a very sexy blonde. I would go to her house everyday just to fuck our brains out. She always loved to film us going at in every room of the house and she loved sucking my cock. I was living in high heaven with this chick. One night we were in her living room having a bit of fun when we heard someone walking down the stairs. We paniced and put on our clothes with not a moment to spare. I stood up with a raging hard on right as her dad walked around the corner. I said "Hey Mr. B, Katie is going to walk me to my car" he said "bye" and I managed to make it 5' down the stairs before sh... Continue»
Posted by Kyle2290 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
  |  1

Lap Dance Heaven

Like most towns do these days we have our share of adult entertainment establishments. One day I decided to reward myself after a hard day’s work and visit one. As usual, when I entered the place in the middle of the day, the interior is very dark and I couldn’t see shit until my eyes could adjust. I walked in feeling like a blind man; my hands reaching out in front of me feeling around making sure I wasn’t going to run into something or someone. I hoped I wasn’t going to trip over a table but I didn’t mind if my arms wrapped around one of the ladies who were dancing there. Just as long as the... Continue»
Posted by bigsoftee 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
  |  3

Fucking a Friend

Please bare with me this is my first story.

Back in highschool I was never the biggest player. By the end of my 4 years I only had sex with three girls, but it was great every time. This is the story of my second, because it was especially sexy.

Her name was Berg, a nickname given to her by friends. Admittedly, not the classiest or sexiest nickname, but it didn't matter. Because while she didn't have the most beautiful face, Berg had a rockin body.

She had small D-cup breasts that she usually hid behind band T-shirts or hoodies, and a nice thick ass for a white girl that, while it di... Continue»
Posted by fisherflirt 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor  |  
  |  1

The Bully: Part 3

My plan to soften the Stone wall that was Erin Hardy was entering it's second week. After five days of one-sided banter I found myself contemplating another strategy.

"I'm gonna join the Crew!" I said with a smile.

"You wanna join Erin's crew...why?" Mouse asked.

"To get close to her and win her over man."

"And how do you plan to do that my good sir." he asked.

"Phase one, I steal her truck."

"I'd like to see you try, they never leave it unguarded for long."

"Yeah that would be a problem if I didn't already do it." I said handing him my iPhone. On the screen was a sn... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 3 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
  |  2

Whore Wife Fucked Infront Of Hubby – Part II

My heart beat started to run very fast. I can imagine what condition these men dicks must be. I did not have to wait for long, dharampal touched her plump pussy and found her dripping wet, he said ” haramzadi ki chut kitni geeli hai dekho bhaio ‘ he showed his glistening finger to everyone he said ” aab teri chut phateygi bol kutia gand aur chut sath mein phatwayegi ya bari bari” . Jyoti to everyone’s suprise said” sath mein behan key lodey , aur bari bari sab sey continued.

Listen to this dharampal ordered everyone to make way for his monster, he had approx 9 inches long and 6 inches thic... Continue»
Posted by chandan0707 3 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
  |  3

My Daughter The Boss

Six glorious weeks have passed and I feel like I'm still on our honeymoon. Of course we aren't married but Jane is the woman of our house and we do sl**p together, well, some of the time we sl**p and things have just gotten better. Plus there's a peaceful calm about the place as if Jenny approved of our new relationship. I just didn't know it was the calm before the storm.

It started with a shopping trip. The weather had improved and some of Jane's outside games made eating outside fun which meant BBQ food. So, armed with a list we headed to the supermarket. Now, one of my main gripes abou... Continue»
Posted by chchboy 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
  |  9

Eyes Wide Slut

You have a slightly difficult relationship with Oscar's s****r Hollie. This is due to the fact that you desperately want to fuck her, and she knows it. She discovered your feelings a while ago when she caught you wanking into a pair of her panties. For some reason, this did not endear you to her. These days her attitude toward you is a mixture of pity and contempt, but that doesn't stop her prick-teasing you mercilessly when your friend isn't around.

You've tried to suppress your feelings for the sake of your friend, but you find yourself thinking about Hollie all the time. In fact, you've... Continue»
Posted by camdogg 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  

First Time Stories : Just One Look

So, about a year ago, I had a lot of trouble going to sl**p one Thursday night. I was tossing and turning for hours, but I just couldn't fall asl**p! At around 2 in the morning, I realized that the reason I couldn't go to sl**p was because i hadn't exercised in two days - I go to the gym at least five times a week - so I had a lot of pent up energy. I like to keep in good shape, and so far, I've succeeded. I'm about 5'1, and weigh 95 lbs. I'd probably weigh less, but nature blessed me with a very large set of perky, 34dd boobs. And since I live in Southern California, I pretty much always ... Continue»
Posted by salahgabr 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  

"Mostly" Ghostly: The Summarised Ending

I've written myself into a corner with this story and can't seem to find a way out so here's the plot in a nutshell.

Jack and Regan continue to grow closer and eventually fall in love. Regan wants so desperately to be with Jack that she attempts suicide by overdose. Jack sees what he's doing to Regan and decides to leave so she can move on.

Two years later Regan is now Engaged to a man she met at work named Kyle.

Jack is a wandering spirit who suddenly finds himself drawn back to town. It turns out that he wasn't dead at all just a disembodied spirit. When they pull the plug on his... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
  |  2

Hot & Cold

Same gist. The first part is for buildup and character development, so if you’re only here for the sex, hit CTRL+F and enter “SEX STARTS HERE” or scroll down to that. Cheers! Please leave comments/critique!

Snowflakes fell from the sky periodically, but few and far between. The air was chilled and not a soul was in sight. All in all, it was a typical yet lonely winter scene.
My teeth chattered as I clung my skeleton-like fingers to the wheel, mumbling something about her being damn lucky. I was on the way to visit an old friend who recently went through a tough break-up. I hadn't ever tal... Continue»
Posted by soniclemon 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
  |  1


Kate - The English Teacher
"Give me your book, there's a good boy"
Her voice was almost a purr. Kate took the writing book from his trembling finger. Looking down she could hardly be bothered to read the words he had written, her mind was already on the course of events to follow. She flipped the page back and fourth, checking what she already knew, that he had only managed to write one and a half pages. Her distractions and been completely successful, keeping him from any semblance of concentrated effort. Kate looked up at him, her eyes wide with surprise. "It seems that you have wasted the... Continue»
Posted by ADHDCPNIGGER 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  

group sex with her best friend

One day Mary came over to visit jean and me, we were sitting in the living room down stairs watching TV. Nobody but us was home. Mary came down and had a seat on the couch with us. As soon as she got comfy, I started kissing jean’s neck and rubbing her body all over, Mary looked shocked at first then, after a couple of minutes she looked like she was enjoying watching us. Her best friend getting groped like a common whore. Then I took jean’s shirt off exposing her black and lacy bra she was wearing. Jean didn’t resist I guess it was turning her on do it in front of her best friend Mary.

... Continue»
Posted by wael001 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
  |  3

My Past Life

“Your hands, your mouth are to be helpers to my cock, as are those of your s****r!
She has made me cum, with her hands and mouth, more times than I can count!
At command, she hardens me, strokes me, licks, sucks, until the inevitable end of her skills, and then, what do you think happens? What do you suppose I do?

I shoot my cum, my semen, on her face. That is my greatest pleasure, but not by any means my only one. But soon, you will see for yourself what I will require from you”.

I will make no comment on the above variant version of the Marquis de Sade, except to say that it is ... Continue»
Posted by Raedman 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
  |  2

Close call.

So the other day me and my girlfriend were home and her mom and b*****r stopped by the house real quick to bring us something for us. Well, when the 3 of them were in the living room I went to me and my girlfriends bedroom to get my phone, let's say I didn't get close to the phone. I was in the mood to fuck and cum on some heels, which I wished I would have had the camera. So while they're still in the living room I dig through our closet and get out the victim: A beautiful 4 inch, Nine West, black leather round toe heel(Yeah I gave the brand and type of heel, gotta make a story great with det... Continue»
Posted by shoeluvr 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
  |  9

For thousands of years, men have tried to understa


Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.

You don't get any points for doing something she expects.

Sorry, that's just the way the game's played.

Here's a guide to the points system:

You make the bed ...............................+1
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.....-1
You leave the toilet seat up....................-5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty... 0
When the toilet paper has run out, you resort to Kleenex...-1
You go out to bu... Continue»
Posted by Jim-Nice-But-Dim 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
  |  1

funny but sexy!!!

This is a true story I swear it and I hope the lady in question doesn't read this that is why I shall not put any names. You guys know me from my videos with Aspen by the name Dr. Sleeze/Bothced. I was introduced to this lady and yes she was of legal age, 29 I think. Before me she had only dated African American men but for some reason we clicked and she had part of my dark weird humor in her but we got together at her apartment and before we even took our clothes off she started telling me all this crap about why before me she had only dated black men and the last one she said had a big peni... Continue»
Posted by amatuerdrandpimp 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  


Vi träffades nere i stan en vå kramades och gav oss en het gick till ett kaffe och beställde kaffe med bulle..
Jag satt sidan om dig..tog min hand och smekte utanför dina byxor..den reagerade snabbt..jag log..
Du sa att den hade längtat efter mina smekningar...då viskade jag till dig att jag inte hade några trosor på mig..
Du flämtade och sa..du då åker vi bums jag svarade..nää det gör vi inte och började smeka dig igen..jag log..
Du tog din hand under min kjol och vandrade uppåt och jag stretade så du kunde känna hur våt jag var...
Du viskade i mitt öra..Mmm..d... Continue»
Posted by Christel60 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
  |  3

Tow the Line: Part One

Dating in the modern age sucks!

So much of our lives is available at the push of a button. It's very hard to get dates when a quick Google search reveals your hidden Skeletons. In a flash any prospective mate can see your Wedding photos on Facebook, or a positive review of a Herpes cream you bought on Amazon.

For me, the thing that stands out is; Murder.

If you'd pass me on the street you'd be surprised to learn that I took a life, yep it's true. And I spent my Teens in Jail for it.

From Thirteen to Eighteen "The Mossberg home for Juvenile Offenders" was my home. And while those... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo, Voyeur  |  
  |  3


Wow, that was pretty exciting," Sue said when he had disappeared. "I didn't realise what a randy sod you are, Steph. You wouldn't think that you only started frigging around today."

"Maybe, but I've been feeling like it for weeks. You know, I could easily let some bloke have a proper eyeful of my fanny, without any knickers in the way, I mean. They may as well be off, because they're saturated in any case. I'm really juicing up."

"Me too, but I don't know that I could just flash my fanny in cold bl**d as it were. Once we pull some bloke though, no problem."

"Tell you what, let me take... Continue»
Posted by foreignera 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
  |  1