Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 13

The I-45 Porn Shop Oddysey...

I've had moments of curiosity whilst in the midst of a furious internet porn masturbatory frenzy, but I've never been even remotely curious about men. That said, I think a dude may have sucked me off once. Let me explain...

There is a porn video store off I-45 about 150 miles south of Dallas. I used to drive that stretch fairly frequently and was only able to drive past it twice before I went in. Their stacks are completely unorganized, so it took me forever to find anything that I was looking for. I walked up and down the aisles for about half an hour before I had to piss. In the bat... Continue»
Posted by bigbimbo 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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The Truth About Swinging....

So...you want to try swinging? You fantasize about what it will be like.You want to see your wife with another man?Would you both like to swing with another couple? Or do you want the "Holy Grail" of swinging, the hot 3 way with your wife and her hot friend from the office??? First question,One)Have you gotten your wife to AGREE to do this,and is she willing to do it,and does she want to "swing???" 98% of the time, its the MAN who brings up swinging, NOT the woman in the relationship.Now----If you've gotten your wife onboard with swinging,and you havebnt had to beg or "talk her into it" ( that... Continue»
Posted by heretic1 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The Bad Girls of History



This post is the accompaniment to the gallery of the same title on this page. The entries here are in the same order as the entries in the gallery and the biography of each lady cane be read here or in the comments box accompanying their picture.

Eve:
According to the Christian church this is where the trouble all started in the first place! This following gallery was inspired by an idea given to me by Sir J who suggested a possible collection of great historical ladies who were definitely in need of a good spanking for their misbehaviour. I eagerly jumped on to the idea and compiled... Continue»
Posted by Mikebasil 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Isabelle, Ricardo & I - my side of the story

I have to thank DeepThroatDealer for showing me the videos , this story is created in response to [user]emorymed [/user](will link it here) my english isnt really good so dont be too harsh on me.

I Counted the minutes to log onto the site and see what kind of story emorymed had prepared for me, and prepared to enjoy it calmly.
The story was about Isabelle, Ricardo and me! Isabelle was a sexy and wonderful roommate that I had and she came to my mind instantly. Ever since I first met her, I had a strong admiration for her; she was so sure of herself and knew what sh... Continue»
Posted by alesub 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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3 Girls In A Cafe Part 1

Okay, before I start this story, let me get one thing straight first :) This first chapter is just a filler, explaining things about the characters and how the boy first meets the girls, so it will not include as much sexual action as the rest of the stories, so please be patient and bare with me, thank you :)
P.S. This story and throughout all the chapters/ parts is based on characters from Anime, so their names will be anime themed :)
---

"Come in Kaito." A womans voice says from the other side of the door. Kaito, a 19 year old boy who is very attractive, has dark brown hair, soft brown... Continue»
Posted by milli214 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Xhamster is a Dirty Whore

As Xhamster entered the porn shoot she didn't look so hot. One of her male costars took notice. He approached the director. "Hey boss, Xhamster looks sick today. You think something may be wrong with her?" The director scratched his chin. "Hey, Xhamster, get over here, quick!" Xhamster turned around and her face was eaten up with advertisements. She walked over to the director. "My God, girl," he gasped. "Your face!" She tried to smile but a 18babysitters.com ad taped her cheek to her chin. "I'm fine," she mumbled. "I have to have these things on me, they help pay for everything, you know, Xha... Continue»
Posted by papuanewguineapunkjr 3 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Believe Nothing

“Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.” -Buddha

That quote by Buddha is one of my favorites, and I apply that reasoning to my life on a regular basis. Not believing in anything without deeply thinking about it has helped me form a much more rational view of the world than I ever would have if I had just listened to what other people “believe.” Or at least I believe that to be the case.

One of the things that I always find shocking is how many people just adopt a belief wi... Continue»
Posted by a_chord90 3 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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3 Girls In A Cafe Part 2

Please read Part 1 before this part. It's called 3 Girls In A Cafe :)

It'd been a week since Kaito started working in the Cafe with the beautiful three girls. Hiraki had still remained silent and quiet ever since her and Kaito's little interuption on his first day. Yume had grown very fond of him, always talking and clinging to him like she was his little s****r and Diasuke remained fierce yet kind to Kaito. It was now a Thursday afternoon and Diasuke had given him the spare room in the Cafe so that he didn't have to drive to work everday, he could just stay there if he wanted, she didn't r... Continue»
Posted by milli214 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Dirty Jokes

Q: When do you kick a midget in the balls?
A: When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice

Q: What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute?
A: Your job still sucks!

Q: How does a woman scare a gynecologist?
A: By becoming a ventriloquist!

Q: How do you kill a circus clown?
A: Go for the juggler!

Q: Why couldn't they get the dead mans casket lid shut?
A: Because he overdosed on viagra!

Q: Why does Dr. Pepper come (cum) in a bottle?
A: Because his wife died!

Q: Why did the snowman smile?
A: Because the snowblower is coming.
... Continue»
Posted by xhamster69bbc 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Perverted Jokes

Introduction: These are funny,perverted, and just wrong all at the same time.

A Penis Study

In 1991, Duke University funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $180,000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the Man more pleasure during sex. After Duke published the study, Stanford decided to do their own study. After three years of research and $250,000.00, they concluded that the reason was to give the Woman more pleasure during sex. The University of Wisconsin, unsatisfied with the... Continue»
Posted by PornApocalypse 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The Affairs

Introduction: not so sexy


> The 1st Affair
>
> A married man was having an affair
> with his secretary.
> One day they went to her place
> and made love all afternoon.
> Exhausted, they fell asl**p
> and woke up at 8 PM ..
> The man hurriedly dressed
> and told his lover to take his shoes
> outside and rub! them in the grass and dirt.
> He put on his shoes and drove home.
> "Where have you been?" his wife demanded.
> "I can't lie to you," he replied,
> "I'm having an affair with my secretary.
> We had sex all afternoon."
> She looked down at his shoes and said:
> ... Continue»
Posted by PornApocalypse 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Something funny

# 9 A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask
the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the
front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman
beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into
her breast. They are both startled and he
says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your
breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "if
your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room
1221."

# 8 A young man walks up and sits down at the
bar. "What can I get you?" the bartender
inquires. "I want 6 shots of Jagermeister,"
responded the young man. "6 shots?!? Are you
celebrating something?" ... Continue»
Posted by PornApocalypse 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Dirty Jokes ReEdit

Introduction: Forgot some info here the better one hope you like it

A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are sperm samples???" , "DO IT!". So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks th... Continue»
Posted by PornApocalypse 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The Queen’s Breasts

Introduction: This is a funny joke for the ppl who never heard it before.

Once upon a time lived a beautiful Queen with large breasts.

Nick the Dragon Slayer obsessed over the Queen for this reason.
He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try
to touch them, but he had to try.

One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio
the Physician, the King’s chief doctor.. Horatio thought about this and
said that he could arrange for Nick to more than satisfy his desire, but
it would cost him 1000 gold coins to arrange it.

Without pause... Continue»
Posted by PornApocalypse 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Taking a Dump


I'm sure that upon reading this, you'll nod your head in agreement as you will all have experienced most, if not all of the scenarios listed. If you haven't you need more fiber.....

The Perfect Dump
Every once in a while everyone experiences the perfect dump. It's rare but a real thing of beauty. You sit down expecting the worse, but what you get is a smooth sliding, fart-less masterpiece that breaks the water with the splash-less grace of an Olympic high-diving champion. You use the toilet tissue to find that it was totally unnecessary. It makes you feel that all is right in the world a... Continue»
Posted by PornApocalypse 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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A Bad Time For Honesty

DJ: "Hey! This is Edgar on WBAM. Have you ever heard of 'MateMatch'?"
Contestant: (laughing) "Yes, I have."
DJ: "Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to Orlando , Florida if you win. What is your name? First name only please."
Contestant: "Brian."
DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?"
Brian: "Yes."
DJ: "Yes? Does that mean you're married or you're what?"
Brian: (laughing nervously) "Yes, I am married."
DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First only please."
Brian: "Sara."
DJ: "Is Sara at work, Brian?"
Brian: "She is gonna kill me."
DJ: "Stay with me here, Brian!... Continue»
Posted by PornApocalypse 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Bumper Stickers

Introduction: For all those people that think their cars look too boring......

Jesus loves you, but I think your an asshole!

Zero to dick in 60 seconds.

Very Funny Scotty, now beam up my clothes...

Madness takes its toll--please have exact change ready.

Stamp Out Crime - Abolish the IRS

Don't Honk - I'm Pedaling as Fast as I Can

If You Can Read This Bumper Sticker, You're In Range

This Vehicle Swerves and Hits Pedestrians at Random

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

I have PMS and a handgun. ANY QUESTIONS?

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes... Continue»
Posted by PornApocalypse 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Cyber-sex

Introduction: This one's pretty long, but in my opinion its well worth the read once you get to the end.

Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately known as "Cybersex". Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared through Internet phone lines get pretty raunchy. However, as you'll see below, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript of an online chat doesn't seem to quite get the point of Cybersex. Then again, maybe he does....

Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high h... Continue»
Posted by PornApocalypse 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Sex Joke

Introduction: Quick little jokes/comebacks.

As confused as a infant in a titty bar.

As confused as a blind lesbian in a fish market.


Q. What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

Q. What does an old woman have between her breasts that a young woman doesn't?
A. A navel.

Q. What is the difference between a woman and a washing machine?
A. You can bung your load in a washing machine and it won't call you a week later.

Q. Why did god create Adam before he created eve?
A. Because he didn't want anyone tellin... Continue»
Posted by PornApocalypse 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The Anniversary

Nicole stared out the window, her smiling reflection staring back. The Sun had just gone behind the buildings, but had not yet set. That wouldn't be for another hour. The anticipation for the evening had been growing in her for almost a week, when she found out that the bistro would be hosting a very private party, and that she had been specifically requested to serve the party. The guests would be arriving soon.

The table that had been requested was a small two-top near the centre of the small 15 table room. Nicole wondered why one of the more private booths near the rear of the bistro had... Continue»
Posted by mustbtuesday 3 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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