Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 12
I enjoy working behind the bar, serving drinks,cheeky banter with boobs like mine
I am eye candy behind the bar, the other good thing is I get to find items left behind by the general public.
It was on such an occasion that I found THE BUTTERFLY!
What's that I hear you shout,it's a sex toy,pretty sophisticated one, a bullet shaped body with two wings on elastic thong, plus a remote control. Totally wireless, abandoned under a table, maybe the bright pink carrier bag was a bit girly for the stud muffin who left it!
Opening the bag imagine my surprise when finding a box with German words Sc... Continue»
My name is August Fahey and two years ago I started secretly dating my best friends 16 year old s****r April Hunter. When I left for college we continued seeing each other long distance. To keep up appearances we'd go out on dates with other people but remain faithful to one another. I'd go home on Holidays and we'd sneak away together and elevate our pent up sexual frustration in (as the k**s say) marathon fuck sessions.
Time passed and we grew even closer. When April graduated Highschool she applied for Larchmont University, my school. I was ecstatic, but her mother had reservations espe... Continue»
6/13/2012 *name used pseudonyms, but based on true events*
One of my friends, Brad, was having a kickback. Nothing major Him 3 other friends me and our female friend in the group Veronica. SO as you can imagine from a bunch of game artists and programmers it was a pretty standard night. Video games, beer, music, a comic book argument about Before Watchmen which almmost came to blows and so on. 2 of the guys left early around 11 p.m. because they had work in the morning. Leaving Veronica, Brad, Tyrone, and myself. Tyrone had the most to drink that night and violated the alcoholics sacred hym... Continue»
The steamy water from the hot tub warms my naked body as I immerse myself up to my shoulders. I tilt my head back and rest it on the edge of the tub as I take in a deep breath of the crisp evening air. I reach one hand up to caress my nipple the other stretches down between my legs as I begin to lose myself in a sexual fantasy.
Feeling a presence I turn my head and see you standing there. With a big smile you raise up a bottle of wine and two wine glasses. I push through the water to the edge of the tub where you are standing. “Looks like a very good year” I say as I blush and pl... Continue»
It was the beginning of a Monday morning; Lydia was waking up and rose slowly, bed covers slowly gliding down her lightly dressed body. She put on her pale pink silk dressing gown as she turned down the bed, meanwhile, Tristan who was lying next to her not five minutes ago, a slow riser, caught a glimpse of her tender bosom as she put the dressing gown around her, tying it at the waist in a simple bow.
He watched her leave the room, with gentle footstep into the large en-suite bathroom, a loving smile... Continue»
Here is my story to answer a curious person on my blog at ifounddaddy.tumblr.com:
asked: yeah i think u should let your friend your worship your pussy and how is your friend going to worship your pussy? did the guy fuck u really good? [He is referencing another guy I fucked earlier that day in the second question.]
Me: Thanks for keeping my tumblr fresh with some stories I might not have told, and drawing all the details out. You are in for some loooong answers.
Well, turns out that I did see my friend. How does he worship it, well, he starts by letting... Continue»
Hello boys and girls and special hello to my beautiful and hot bhabhis and aunties .Thank you for giving your time for my story .This is your friend Priyesh Preetam from the living city Patna , Bihar. Mail me if you like this story at firstname.lastname@example.org .I am doing my 10+2 at a collage in patna. I have very normal physique and looks, but I am good at my studies and am a man at peace so I got a good reputation in school and college.
As you all know I am living and study in patna but my native place is somewhere in bettiah. This story is about when I was studying in 9th in my native ci... Continue»
Types of Women That Men Will Eventually Date After Divorce
I’ve been divorced for a number of years and although many men browse through the internet finding articles for women written by women regarding dating after a divorce, I have yet to find any articles that dealt with the issues of dating for men, written by men on how date or avoid these personality types after a divorce. After a few years of extensive research by myself, I have categorized some women into some very recognizable groups that many of you haven’t articulated in your own minds because as guys, well, we’re... Continue»
I've had moments of curiosity whilst in the midst of a furious internet porn masturbatory frenzy, but I've never been even remotely curious about men. That said, I think a dude may have sucked me off once. Let me explain...
There is a porn video store off I-45 about 150 miles south of Dallas. I used to drive that stretch fairly frequently and was only able to drive past it twice before I went in. Their stacks are completely unorganized, so it took me forever to find anything that I was looking for. I walked up and down the aisles for about half an hour before I had to piss. In the bat... Continue»
So...you want to try swinging? You fantasize about what it will be like.You want to see your wife with another man?Would you both like to swing with another couple? Or do you want the "Holy Grail" of swinging, the hot 3 way with your wife and her hot friend from the office??? First question,One)Have you gotten your wife to AGREE to do this,and is she willing to do it,and does she want to "swing???" 98% of the time, its the MAN who brings up swinging, NOT the woman in the relationship.Now----If you've gotten your wife onboard with swinging,and you havebnt had to beg or "talk her into it" ( that... Continue»
This post is the accompaniment to the gallery of the same title on this page. The entries here are in the same order as the entries in the gallery and the biography of each lady cane be read here or in the comments box accompanying their picture.
According to the Christian church this is where the trouble all started in the first place! This following gallery was inspired by an idea given to me by Sir J who suggested a possible collection of great historical ladies who were definitely in need of a good spanking for their misbehaviour. I eagerly jumped on to the idea and compiled... Continue»
I have to thank DeepThroatDealer
for showing me the videos , this story is created in response to [user]emorymed [/user](will link it here) my english isnt really good so dont be too harsh on me.
I Counted the minutes to log onto the site and see what kind of story emorymed
had prepared for me, and prepared to enjoy it calmly.
The story was about Isabelle, Ricardo and me! Isabelle was a sexy and wonderful roommate that I had and she came to my mind instantly. Ever since I first met her, I had a strong admiration for her; she was so sure of herself and knew what sh... Continue»
Okay, before I start this story, let me get one thing straight first :) This first chapter is just a filler, explaining things about the characters and how the boy first meets the girls, so it will not include as much sexual action as the rest of the stories, so please be patient and bare with me, thank you :)
P.S. This story and throughout all the chapters/ parts is based on characters from Anime, so their names will be anime themed :)
"Come in Kaito." A womans voice says from the other side of the door. Kaito, a 19 year old boy who is very attractive, has dark brown hair, soft brown... Continue»
As Xhamster entered the porn shoot she didn't look so hot. One of her male costars took notice. He approached the director. "Hey boss, Xhamster looks sick today. You think something may be wrong with her?" The director scratched his chin. "Hey, Xhamster, get over here, quick!" Xhamster turned around and her face was eaten up with advertisements. She walked over to the director. "My God, girl," he gasped. "Your face!" She tried to smile but a 18babysitters.com ad taped her cheek to her chin. "I'm fine," she mumbled. "I have to have these things on me, they help pay for everything, you know, Xha... Continue»
“Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.” -Buddha
That quote by Buddha is one of my favorites, and I apply that reasoning to my life on a regular basis. Not believing in anything without deeply thinking about it has helped me form a much more rational view of the world than I ever would have if I had just listened to what other people “believe.” Or at least I believe that to be the case.
One of the things that I always find shocking is how many people just adopt a belief wi... Continue»
Please read Part 1 before this part. It's called 3 Girls In A Cafe :)
It'd been a week since Kaito started working in the Cafe with the beautiful three girls. Hiraki had still remained silent and quiet ever since her and Kaito's little interuption on his first day. Yume had grown very fond of him, always talking and clinging to him like she was his little s****r and Diasuke remained fierce yet kind to Kaito. It was now a Thursday afternoon and Diasuke had given him the spare room in the Cafe so that he didn't have to drive to work everday, he could just stay there if he wanted, she didn't r... Continue»
Q: When do you kick a midget in the balls?
A: When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice
Q: What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute?
A: Your job still sucks!
Q: How does a woman scare a gynecologist?
A: By becoming a ventriloquist!
Q: How do you kill a circus clown?
A: Go for the juggler!
Q: Why couldn't they get the dead mans casket lid shut?
A: Because he overdosed on viagra!
Q: Why does Dr. Pepper come (cum) in a bottle?
A: Because his wife died!
Q: Why did the snowman smile?
A: Because the snowblower is coming.
Introduction: These are funny,perverted, and just wrong all at the same time.
A Penis Study
In 1991, Duke University funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $180,000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the Man more pleasure during sex. After Duke published the study, Stanford decided to do their own study. After three years of research and $250,000.00, they concluded that the reason was to give the Woman more pleasure during sex. The University of Wisconsin, unsatisfied with the... Continue»
Introduction: not so sexy
> The 1st Affair
> A married man was having an affair
> with his secretary.
> One day they went to her place
> and made love all afternoon.
> Exhausted, they fell asl**p
> and woke up at 8 PM ..
> The man hurriedly dressed
> and told his lover to take his shoes
> outside and rub! them in the grass and dirt.
> He put on his shoes and drove home.
> "Where have you been?" his wife demanded.
> "I can't lie to you," he replied,
> "I'm having an affair with my secretary.
> We had sex all afternoon."
> She looked down at his shoes and said:
> ... Continue»
# 9 A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask
the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the
front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman
beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into
her breast. They are both startled and he
says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your
breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "if
your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room
# 8 A young man walks up and sits down at the
bar. "What can I get you?" the bartender
inquires. "I want 6 shots of Jagermeister,"
responded the young man. "6 shots?!? Are you
celebrating something?" ... Continue»