Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 11
I am way to scared to go dogging and can be a bit shy to go to gay venues but I have needs and as a sub bottom I really do need to be comprehensively shagged; the more often the better.
Some time ago I went to a 'north' London sauna once and when I walked in the door the fellow at the counter asked me if I realised it was a Gay sauna. I am a very straight looking guy and if you thought I was gay you may say a very dominant top, but the truth lies elsewhere.
I told the young fellow that I realised what the establishment provided and after the payment of the obligatory £14 I went in.
We were losing power yet again and Jock was getting angry. His eyes were fiery and with his big arms stained with oil and diesel fuel he might have looked really threatening to anyone else. I hadn't had much time to get to know him. He was like you could say 'a good solid looking trucker'. I suppose, if I am to be perfectly honest, I had noticed his physique was kind of OK!
"This is getting fucking dangerous! A truck's not like a car you know, if you loose power you loose your steering, the lot!"
We coasted as far as we could on to the hard shoulder. At first he just sat there stony-fac... Continue»
Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss But I only slept with you because I was pissed.
I thought that I could love no other That is, until I met your b*****r.
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.
Of loving beauty you float with grace Now if only you could hide your face.
* Kind, intelligent, loving and hot; This describes all the things you are not.
I want to feel your sweet embrace But don't take that paper bag off of your face.
I love y... Continue»
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"
He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."
Seven wise men with the knowledge so fine,
created a pussy to their design.
First was a butcher, with smart wit,
using a knife, he gave it a slit.
Second was a carpenter, strong and bold,
with a hammer and chisel, he gave it a hole.
Third was a tailor, tall and thin,
by using red velvet, he lined it within.
Fourth was a hunter, short and stout,
with a piece of fox fur, he lined it without.
Fifth was a fisherman, nasty as hell,
threw in a fish and gave it a smell.
Sixth was a preacher, whose name was McGee,
he touched it and blessed it and said it could pee.
Last was... Continue»
My landlord is a retired colonel and has after his retirement he has built a huge home that anyone would rather call an apartment. More because of his two sons out of whom none was living in India. The younger was already working there but the elder had recently moved abroad. So as his wife could not get Visa and also the winters were approaching so her movement was postponed until a good time might come.
Meanwhile she used to teach music and dance to young girls while living in Pune and she was herself a very bright lady. She was young and aged only 26 or 27 years. She was beautiful too... Continue»
My mouth was super dry
can i feel your, luscious, lips locking with mine
sweetylittle smooth pussy was saturated with her moisture
u separate my pussy lips and drove ur tongue in
plese held my breasts against ur mouth and starting sucking on them
shall i softly, caressing ur breasts.
laying on the bed, hands in her pants,
i also rarely wore a bra
stuffed her fingers into her pussy
She never wore underwear
pulling her pants off or by sticking my cock in her hand/mouth
three fingers stuffed into her pussy with one hand and was rubbing her clit with the other
walked over to me,... Continue»
Now this is 4 the niggas that eat pussy (or at least try to lol).......let me start off by sayin there is a rite & wrong way to eat pussy.....if a girl ever say it hurt while you eatin her out you doin sumthin wrong (how you can make it hurt idk....but sum females have told me that sum niggas made they pussy hurt while they was eatin it lol).....now you cant juss move your tongue up &down & actually think you doing sumthin cuz you not especially if you not in the rite spots....take it from a pro ((ME)).....movin your tongue up & down is borin.....you gotta go from side to side & vibrate yo ton... Continue»
How do they do it, the ones who make love without love? Beautiful as dancers, gliding over each other like ice-skaters over the ice, fingers hooked inside each other's bodies, faces red as wine, as wet as an indian monsoon in June. How do they come to the come to the come to the God come to the still waters, and not love the one who came there with them, light rising slowly as steam off their joined skin? These are the true religious, the purists, the pros, the ones who will not accept a false Messiah, love the priest instead of the God. They do not mistake the lover for their own pleasure, th... Continue»
Dorothy sat on her knees looking around at Oz. The lush green grass, the bright blue sky and the glimmer of the gold road was all that she had remembered. Memories of her journey through Oz with the Scarecrow, Tinman and Cowardly Lion came flashing back. The memory of the city of Oz, the wicked witch and her castle and the munchkins filled her heart with joy that she hadn't felt in such a long time.
As she stood up Dorothy realized she was in a part of Oz she had never seen before. She walked up to the yellow brick road and stood in the middle of it looking up one way and then down the othe... Continue»
This is text from a magazine called Too Blue Stories. It was a short-lived British magazine from a few years ago and was mainly stories, illustrated by a few pictures. This issue had more pictures of British model Susanna Francessca, along with another story about her. I’ve typed it out here:
Susanna was at our studios again, getting naked for our photographer. She was quite tanned and told us she’s just come back from a holiday in Spain. ‘Did you get up to anything naughty?’ we asked her. She immediately went red with embarrassment. ‘Oh, I suppose I’d better tell you’, she said, ... Continue»
Bored at home and I think I'm about to lose it
Bored at home so I get on the computer and listen to music
Trying to control the urge with all my might
Then I say fuck it and go on a few of my favorite porn sites
Sensation in my pants I can't control
Sensation in my pants as my penis starts to unfold
I pull my pants down as my dog watches
Pull my pants down to stroke my sausage
Handjobs, blowjobs, phat assaes and big tits I wanna bust my load
These vidoes are so good I think I'm about to explode
I can't stop jacking off my hand loves this movement
Then I actuall... Continue»
Jacqueline staggered along the lake bank under the weight of her fishing tackle, pausing to wipe a sheen of perspiration from her brow with the back of her hand. It was just half past ten in the morning but, even so early, the June sunlight blazed in a cloudless azure sky, searing the parched Lincolnshire countryside already scorched by the unusual heat wave of the past two weeks. Jacqueline turned to watch Susan, struggling ill-humouredly and muttering unladylike remarks under an even greater burden, some twenty yards behind her. Jacqueline grinned; delighted as always by the sight of her irr... Continue»
Story #1: The pencil test; a story about Tom and Tina by MaxMon
: Pretty flowers, pretty Tina
Tina wore a smile reminiscent of surprise as if she had just opened a birthday gift that held her most desired thing; a sense of anticipation fulfilled with glee, and a natural enchantment filled her eyes most of the time. To her every day brought forth wondrous moments she took in eloquent stride. She exuded sincerity that life was a precious thing best experienced in the here and now, to not concern one’s ambition with the anxiety in not knowing the fut... Continue»
Dorothy and Leandra stood there silent, then a slate of rock moved down, opening up a way out of the circle of rocks that imprisoned them.
"Well theres the way out what do we do Dorothy"
"I don't know Leandra, we have to decided before they trap us here forever"
Leandra went over and grabbed their things. Picking up their clothes and her bag. She brought them over to the opening and tossed them out. She stood there looking out at the freedom her clothes had, but she still felt trapped. She didn't want to make the decision. Maybe her and Dorothy could come up with a way to get out. Th... Continue»
“On your knees, you d***k bitch,” the cop said. Kelly immediately obeyed. She would never cheat on her husband, but if letting this brute r**e her meant she wouldn’t go to jail then it was worth it. He just stood there while she reached up and unzipped his trousers. Kelly tried not to think about what she was doing as she pulled his cock free and slipped it into her mouth.
The officer’s penis was thicker than her husband’s. It tasted of sweat and grime, but Kelly wasn’t in a position to complain. She slobbered over it and began to pump it with her hand as she bobbed her mouth on it. As she... Continue»
This piece is a chapter extracted from my novel "Toggenburg" a lesbian love story set in the mountains of Switzerland which I've posted in case any Xhamster reader might enjoy it.
“We are going to get wet!” declared Sarah firmly. It was a fair analysis as she and Daniela stood huddled in the doorway of the Hotel Toggenburg contemplating the wretched weather before them. It was still raining heavily and the wind was blowing the sheets of rain around in a bewildering variety of directions. Umbrellas promised to be hazardous accessories ra... Continue»
Leandra followed the snake like white trail, down the long winding tunnels. She knew Dorothy and the Oz guard had a good head start, but didn't realize it was so far. It seemed like the tunnels twisted and turned forever. It took her a good half hour before she heard Dorothy voice.
Dorothy and Omby were hiding behind a stone pillar. Leandra snuck up behind them and tapped Dorothy on the shoulder. She almost jumped out of her clothes. But as Dorothy jumped, Omby Amby instinctively grabbed ahold of Leandra throat. His grip surprised Leandra. Seeing his lanky frame would never make a person t... Continue»
A woman I have been friends with for the last four years invited me over to hang out at her Apt. She had a friend over, and I had it in my head the friend without the boyfriend would be there, and I might possibly hook up with said friend. I brought a fifth of R&R and even shoved a few condoms in my pocket, just in case. When I arrived, my heart fell. Her single friend wasn't there; alas, it was the one girl that had a boyfriend. I wasn't that upset, I just thought, maybe. So, I broke out the bottle and we started drinking anyway.
As the afternoon progressed, I sat on the back porch w... Continue»
Leandra slide her mouth away from Kaliko cock. Stood up and began removing her clothing. Sliding her black gown over her head. She watched as Dorothy opened her mouth, sucking up and down his slim curved cock.
"Your body looks amazing my dear Leandra."
"I hate you for this Kaliko."
He laughed as his fingers slide through Dorothy hair. "You know you could stop. But the spell in the wine has heighten your deepest desires. Why can't you be like your friend Dorothy. She's enjoying herself." Dorothy opened her mouth wider and took his whole cock down. Her face buried in his white and gra... Continue»