Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 109
The Karim s Studio
The morning sun broke out earlier than usual and was cajoling my face rather sharply through our bedroom window. I woke up, preparing myself for another hot & humid day. It was a proper May. My husband, Raj was on the last stretch of his sl**p. He really appreciates that part. So, not wanting to disturb him I sneaked out of the room and headed for the toilet. When I am in there, I started brushing my teeth and felt the totally damp nightie clinging on to my back due to the power cut we had earlier in the morning. The same soaked... Continue»
iCarly/Victorious: If Wishes Were Hornets #6 – Carly
"I wish my life was more like one of those fairy tales."
When Carly woke up, she instantly felt an overwhelming wooziness, and rolled out of bed. She reached for her phone on her night-stand, but she just felt open air. She opened her eyes expecting the bright morning sun to be shining in, but the light was very dim. And as she looked around the room, she realized that this was not where she went to sl*ep.
The room was almost all black and there were videos of iCarly going and lots of clocks all over the wall. Each clo... Continue»
I’m not gay but I find women with manly features attractive. I met this girl on craigslist she was from California a bit of a tom boy, short, looked a bit like my mother but more facial hair. She had a domineering nature much like the qualities of a macho male. She was like one of the guys. I flew from Dallas to Pasadena to meet up with her.
She wanted to meet up at a local hotel, she left a bag at the reception with instructions. I was to go to room 32 put a cage on my head, a ball gag in my mouth and wear a stud dog collar, blind fold, handcuffs and so on. I got changed in the room. I ... Continue»
Softcore musings from an eagle eyed voyeur...
It is generally agreed that most jobs of work have some sort of perk or bonus. Let me tell you about mine. In my case it ease of the actual job and the opportunities it gives to do a lot of good old fashioned ogling and perving on lots of women throughout the day. The pay is crap but I'm into my '50's and have got myself pretty well set up anyway. The job just gets me out and about. I work with dis****d people. Don't worry, I'm not that sort of sicko! I just get them out and about to do stuff they have trouble doing on their own and they aren'... Continue»
I grew up in a rural Maharashtrian village. I was tall for my age of
18 years, about 5′7″ and thin. I had round breast with big pointed
nipples, thin waist and well moulded buttocks and tapering legs. My
color was slight dark and my face was oval shaped. I had slanted eyes,
thin pointed and slighltly upturned nose, pouting lips and good even
teeth, which sparkled when I smiled. I was not considered beautiful in
a traditional way but by the age of 19, I could observe that most men
were giving me sly looks in the village. My parents were traditional
farmers and we were poor. I had two
Softness and hardness
A man bumps against a woman in a hotel lobby. During the collision the elbow mound against the chest thereof. They are both surprised. The man turns to her and say,
"Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you will forgive me."
To which she replied:
"If your cock is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221."
A businessman boarded a train and finds himself sitting next to a beautiful woman. He notices that she is reading a book about sexual statistics. He asked about this, and she will answer:
"This is a very interesting book. So th... Continue»
_I didn't see niche for this kind of topic so I'll let you know that it is mind control and humor. Thank you for reading_
I'm a pretty impressive guy, 5 feet 10 inches tall, mocha skin color, big biceps and a six pack the ladies love. Were it all falls off is my pick up game, I suck at hitting on the girls. My one liner cliches are gut wrenching. "Hey baby want me to google your twitter?" seriously i'm probably the only man in extistance that has used that crap. So while i'm sitting at the bar nursing a double rum and coke, thinking naughty thoughts about the blonde two seats down. In my ... Continue»
1. Globally, lovers are having sex 139 times a year. The French are the lovemaking pacesetters, according to the Durex Global Sex Survey 2002, coming in at 167 times each 365 days.
2. Condoms are biodegradable — some of them. Lambskin and latex condoms are biodegradable, but polyurethane condoms aren't.
3. Sex-enhancing CDs are being sold for setting the mood. Try some classical options to rock your world: Shacking Up to Chopin, Making Out to Mozart and Bedroom Bliss with Beethoven are available.
4. Don't douche — it's not recommended anymore. Douching washes away the healthy bacte... Continue»
Not being a big drinker there are not many bar stories that I can tell but I do have this one that is just so out there it’s hard to believe.
And I was there.
I’ve always been a motorcycle rider, it started out that I need transportation that was cheap starting a f****y on a retail pay limits your budget. So 10 year old Hondas or Kawasaki’s were what I could get.
Well after riding in any weather cold, wet, sleet and snow most people that I worked with or passed me on the road or were passed by thought that I was crazy or just one hard ass.
And I n... Continue»
The queue, waiting for the first lift is large, but my eyes focus happily on the blonde hair of a woman ahead of me, rather than the floor indicator above each lift. I love women like her, slim, mature, maybe even over fifty, dressed in a suit, shiny hair in a bob style, elegant and feminine.
I am going into the same lift as her, just so that I may gaze discretely at her and enjoy her good looks. My head thrills at the possibility that she has a thin blouse and underneath, a Camisole top. Utterly divine!
The right hand lift arrives and a mass of people shuffle sideways to get it, but ... Continue»
Why is it so many people want to be my friend? I mean seriously. You don't have to be friends with somebody in order to be friends. Some of my best friends aren't my friends, but we're really, REALLY GOOD friends. Then on the other hand, some of my friends aren't friends at all. We're just friends, is all. It's a shame, but that the way it is sometimes.
So why do you want to be my friend? We don't know each other. Out of the clear blue you swoop down and say, "HEY! You want to be friends?" --I don't know you! For all I know, you could be an axe murderer! Or worse, you co... Continue»
Hai frnds i am suresh. Age 15. I am a studant. Ithu 2011 varudathil nadantha unmai kathai. My f****y dad, mom and me. En appa contractions manager. Amma janaki age 36. 5' tall. Size 34 32 38. Nala sivapu niram. Amma Ladies club member. Appa companyki unmaia work panraru. So epavum busy. Engalidam ore oru car than irunthathu. Athai appa use seithar. Appa epothum vetileye irukamatar. Mor 8am ponal nt 11pm than vetirku varuvar. Athanal ammavirku velie poga siramaka irunthathu. Athanal appa puthithaka car onru vankinar. Ammavirku car ota theriathathal driver oruvarai velaiki serthar. Avar peyar ra... Continue»
Upon this door it read "Women's Health" and I knew I was soon taking the next step in my exam. This room also had an examination table in the middle of the room, but this time it also had stirrups attached and the backrest was sitting at about 60 degrees. At this stage only a female nurse was in the room, her back to me I could see her assembling and placing instruments on a metal tray. The orderly ordered me to take a seat on the side of the table. He soon left the room and a male doctor entered the room, also in O.R. scrubs. He asked if I could turn and lay on the table on my back, he then l... Continue»
Conversation had been awkward to say the least, so when the laxatives kicked in, I , for one, was relieved. We were in the midst of talking about my wedding when a sudden gush of diarrhoea broke the tension. Immediately, my mother began to scoop it up and drink it like chocolate from a fountain. She rubbed it into her boobs and gargled it, sicked it up onto the floor and then began to poop herself. Hers came out in long, sausage-like logs. She threw one at me and we both laughed and rolled around on the floor.
The bouts of diarrhoea and poops continued for about half and hour, and during t... Continue»
Q: How do I know if I'm ready for sex?
A: Ask your boyfriend. He'll know when the time is right. When it comes to love and sex, men are much more responsible, since they're not as emotionally confused as women. It's a proven fact.
Q: Should I have sex on the first date?
A: YES. Before if possible.
Q: What exactly happens during the act of sex?
A: Again, this is entirely up to the man. The important thing to remember is that you must do whatever he tells you without question. Sometimes, however, he may ask you to do certain things that may at first seem strange to you. Do them anyway.
There are no words between you and Beth. She is still on top of you and you are staring into each other's eyes. You want this moment never to end, but Maggie will not let that happen.
"Ok Beth, get off that pig and let's get you cleaned up." Beth looks at Maggie then back at you.
"That's right... You are a pig." Beth says as she reaches down and playfully tweaks your nipple. Then she bends over and gives you one more kiss. Then she goes upstairs with Maggie and the girls and leaves you alone.
As you get off the table you forgot how sore your ass is but even that couldn't stop you from sm... Continue»
THE TUNNEL OF TERROR
In the late summer, just before school started, Veronica always went to the state fair with her friends. This year she set off for the fair early one hot, summer morning with her friends, Jane and Diane. They laughed and talked all the two hour ride to get there. Arriving at the fair, they joined the crowd of people circling the dusty midway lined with food stands, rides, and other amusements. By late afternoon, the three of them were getting bored, until they stumbled across a freak show exhibit. They decided to try it and went inside the patched tent. It was dark insid... Continue»
Recently I made an unexpected big splash in our new neighborhood. We just moved to a new home the end of this past week. The home was a former model home and it was the largest of the three model homes in a model center that was sold off and the previous office. So, naturally the home has all the bells and whistles. Well, that is except one thing... they disarmed the alarm system when we closed on the house. I noticed this when we were opening and closing the door constantly moving furniture in the front door. I wasn’t hearing the high pitched “beep” I used to hear when we first viewed the hou... Continue»
Oh bl**dy hell she thought as the bus pulled away...I hate living in the fucking country! Now I’ve got half an hour to wait until the next one and......Fuck it! It’s starting to rain....
She’d been out with her mates and though she’d enjoyed it, it was sitting in a freezing,wet bus shelter that made her wonder if she’d not have been better staying in tonight.....Ah well.
It happened so quickly that she barely had time to panic.A young man with hood over head came galloping through the rain and almost knocked her down as he crashed into the shelter.
He threw back his hood and shook dr... Continue»
Ever hear that old rap song “It was a Good Day” by Ice Cube?
The song refers to that one inevitable day that every one has where everything goes “right”, you can’t make a mistake and you have the luck of the Irish.
Well, I recently had one of those days. It was probably one of the greatest days in my life.
For a little background on me (to put things in perspective) … I live and work in San Francisco. It’s a great city, but I have what is deemed bad karma. My friends tease me by calling me “Peter Parker” because I’m a little bit klutzy and always have some trouble with the ladies.