Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 109

Best friends bitch and the ride home.

My buddy was coming to pick me up from the airport because I had just touched down. I was visiting him for the first time in six years, he had joined the Air f***e. I was going to stay for a week, I asked him to make sure there were some decent bitches around, but to my dismay he told me he was in a committed relationship and that I was on my own in that area. Well as I exited the plane into the airport, I noticed he was standing there with a very hot mess of a bitch, she was wearing a micro pink mini dress, and you could see she was freeballing because that fucking dress was almnost see throu... Continue»
Posted by bitchsplitter 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 1948  |  
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The Tale Of Humpy

Humpy McSaddle greeted the following day with a sly, clownish smile on his face, and it never left. Not that day, nor in the weeks that followed. She came to him most every day now, never at the same time. If she didn't appear for several days, McSaddle would stomp around the slaughterhouse, out of his mind with the clap, tearing at his hair plugs, bending at the waist to contain the nuclear urgency of his ever-ravenous hump tentacle.

He never knew when she might appear-morning, afternoon, evening. He might be having Taco Bell, and he would feel her near. Or walk by himself to inspect ... Continue»
Posted by Insatiable111 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 794  |  
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i love myspace

ok so back in 05 i made a myspace. didnt know what it was or how to use it but all my friends had 1 so i wanted one to. i had it for about a month or 2, and girls just seemed 2 love me on there. another month goes by and thats when i figured out how easy it was 2 hook up with girls on myspace, if u had the right kinda game. so i send a friend request to a local model/singer(most girls on myspace are) and she accepted it and sent me a message before i could even try and spit my game at her. she was 5'11 127lbs with long black hair. she didnt have to much of an ass but the most perfect brea... Continue»
Posted by Spyda14 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 562  |  
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Star Trek Voyager Parody (XXX Style!)

Sex Trek: Voyeur (A Sexual Parody of Star Trek Voyager)

by Miss Swallows.com

(The names have been changed slightly for copyright infringement avoidance.)

==================================================

Captains Log Star date 9801.01


It has been several years since we’ve made our trek back home to the Alpha Quadrant. The crew’s morale lately has been low and I must say something is going to have to be done to boost it soon, or we’re going to be in trouble. People are reporting late for their stations, sl**ping longer, eating less; I don’t know w... Continue»
Posted by Miss_Swallows 4 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 3482  |  
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A Book to Remember

A Book to Remember
by Just4kinks


J4K’s heart raced as the elegant young man entered the library. She blushed as his penetrating eyes met hers, she remembered last night’s hot steamy sex and she was pleasantly surprised he came back for more. It has been such a long time since her life has been filled with passion. Heck, it was six months since her husband touched her and at 40, she was at the peak of her sexuality. She was ready to put on her sexy boots and rock and roll, not spend hours on end watching senseless television shows on the couch.

She tried her best to k... Continue»
Posted by just4kinks 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 632  |  
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Fun Fantasy Game *Enjoy* Be Creative

If you could be the hottest shemale that ever walked the earth for one day what would you do ? Im talking

*5'7
*Beautiful Face, somewhat of Megan Fox or Lacey Chabert
*Pretty green eyes
*Nice lips
*Nice smile & white baby teeth
*140 lbs
*Very feminine voice
*Small girly hands & feet
*Long Hair (Brunette)
*About one shade darker than Pale skin
*Nice tight butt
*Boobs with no visible surgery scars
*And a small penis, just small enough for you to wear bikinis on the beach

Of course I want to hear your story's so i will make mine short,(Get all their email addresses)I would b... Continue»
Posted by guess1tw3ll 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Shemales  |  Views: 483  |  
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Match Dating Site for Adult Match

There are many things that change how people live and nothing is really the essence of the dating and marriage. It is marriage brings balance in people's lives and make sure that you are ready to change how you live and life map. A dating site is one of the places you should check if you are looking for a system; a dating partner brings your way.

It is very important to know that a changed little in life more and more effective so don't miss the big picture. Most important thing is that many men looking for <strong><em><a href="http://www.teenxdating.com/">meet girls</a></em></strong> tonig... Continue»
Posted by nancymoore 2 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 166  |  
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My First Threesome Experience

It was quite hot during summer season. Saturday afternoon hard work, go downstairs watch a little TV and cool off from the heat, strip down take a shower, go upstairs and get dressed. Ever since the f****y moved out, this has been Saturday at my house. Why would this Saturday be different?
Everything went as usual, except while watching the game I fell asl**p. When I woke, I stripped and took my shower. Ten minutes later I'm walking up the stairs and notice that my wife, Rita, left the front door open. I can't get to our room without passing that door but the porch is partially covered so the... Continue»
Posted by urpussysucker 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1471  |  
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Four Best Things In The World

This isn't a story and I don't see a catagory for it but I have a question for all of you out there: If you had to choose FOUR (4)things that are the most beautiful to you in this world what would it be? This excludes f****y, Lovers,etc, those area given. Just to your eyes what are 4 beautiful things...
FOR ME: 1. I love looking at nice (fairly big to large) naturally firm Breasts.
Mine are big, and I love seeing a woman with nice firm breasts,tits or boobs whatever you want to call them. 2. A nice rock hard fully erect fairly large n thick cock. I want to put my mouth and ton... Continue»
Posted by ibMel1 4 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1898  |  
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my first blow job

my girlfriend and i were driving down the road(i was driving) we had been together for awhile i had gone down on her, but she never really gave me head. well on this night we turned off on the usual road home and it was about 10 miles away from the next town it was dark outside. she leaned over and started kissing my neck. i told her this isnt fair im driving and your teasing me. she replied(i loved this part) "let me make it up to you" she unzipped my pant pulled out my thich hard cock and started sucking it. i was in complete heaven for 8 minutes then tragedy hit. i see flashing po... Continue»
Posted by lespaul7inch 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1959  |  
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Only in Georgia

This story is true and you probably will not believe it.
I was working at my friends new house and it was one of those days where almost everything went wrong. It was late and I was tired and feeling low. I decieded to stop off on my way home at my favorite bar and have a few drinks. I sat at the bar and ordered my regular Wild Turkey & coke. As I was finishing my first beverage a old employee of mine sat down beside me and asked If I could give her a ride home because her roommate stood her up. Sally was one of my best bartenders when a owned my one club. She is blonde, cute, young, 5 foot 3... Continue»
Posted by Markxx99 1 year ago  |  Categories: Anal, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 680  |  
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The International Council of Man Laws.

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her Blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss's car.
(d) When she is using her teeth.
3: Any man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed and eaten by his friends.
4: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his s****r is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
5: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mate's fridge is forbidden. ... Continue»
Posted by Jim-Nice-But-Dim 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 1182  |  
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one that got away (funny story)

a few years ago i was a sophmore in college and i was kind of struggling to get used to the whole college life and stuff. I havnt had any long term relationships, as a matter of fact ive never had one more than a couple of weeks. that semester i said to myself "im gonna change this and get something going"; around that time i noticed a girl, she was my swimming proffesor and was only a year older than me.

this girl was probably the most beautiful girl i have ever seen ( in all honesty she really is) she had shoulder length black hair that had a very unique glossy texture. s... Continue»
Posted by vrgnguy4fun 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 855  |  
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I just had this great bus ride ... So did I!

As soon as I understood why there's a difference between boys and girls I felt I wanted to press my hard cock against a girl, or a woman.
I took every opportunity there was. Any queue was good for me, in school, waiting for the bus, whatever.
I tried to press my bulge against an ass, a hip or even a hand. Fully clothed, of course, but I had a some great teenage cum-in-my-pants experiences, mainly in crowded buses.
As I left my teens this urge of mine became more like an obsession. I seldom took the quick way back home after work, I usually picked the most crowded bus, just to make sure I ... Continue»
Posted by trevor54a 7 months ago  |  Categories: , Sex Humor  |  Views: 40  |  
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University days- freshers week fuck

The car was packed and I had said my goodbyes to friends and f****y. I was off to start a new chapter in my life. I was looking forward to it but I was also a little nervous, after all I was leaving home for the first time in my life to live with people I did'nt know.

As I arrived there was a hive of activity around the halls of residence carpark. Parents helping their sons and daughters with their stuff, carrying all kinds of things into the halls of res. There was me with hardly anything in my car, just the bare essentials and there was people carrying tvs and pc's and furnit... Continue»
Posted by SirFoxlywintershank 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 1374  |  
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The night I fucked my s****rs friend

It was just another normal early winters weekend, I was 19 at the time. I think it was around early November. THe dark nights had really drawn in now and it was one of those miserable Friday afternoons. I was driving home from work and thinking about the weekend ahead. Sould I go out tonight I thought, maybe I will go out for a few beers. Anyway I got home about 5pm and cracked open a beer and sat in front of the Tv.

My mum was cooking in the kitchen and my Dad was in his office, then I heard my s****r coming in, i heard the chatter of girls. SHe was with a friend of hers and they were... Continue»
Posted by SirFoxlywintershank 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 5115  |  
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Marcus

What happened was this!

Alana Wicks was a divorcee in her late thirties. She’d travelled the distance from trophy wife to yummy mummy through to beautifully groomed, well toned divorcee: and a thoroughly bored one at that. She was a tall, very good looking woman with a terrific figure – the gym and swimming saw to that, a mane of wavy blonde hair topped a very attractive picture. Her daughter Zoe was very much like her mother in appearance, but, to put it bluntly, rather dim! She had met Marcus at a disco in town. And she’d had sex with him within an hour of meeting h... Continue»
Posted by Whispa 4 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 30

ha ha

Posted by yopa358a 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 349

How to pull off the sexy red pout


1) Choose the perfect shade of red to suit your skin tone or you'll come off looking cheap and desperate. Remember brighter shades for lighter skin and deeper shades for dusky skin.

2) Always use a lip liner. They make your lips look fuller and well-defined. Naturally, you'll grab his attention.

3) Tease him a little by adding a touch of gloss to the centre of your lower lip for that extra drama.

4) Avoid heavy eye make-up and blush. You want him to focus on the most sensual part of your body – your lips!

5) Finally, practise! Pucker up and pout in front the mirror.... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 176

Women like dating playboys

Women show the opposite pattern. They are more likely to continue dating a man who has had a heterosexual affair than one who has had a homosexual affair.

The study provides new insight into the psychological adaptations behind men's desire for a variety of partners and women's desire for a committed partner. These drives have played a key role in the evolution of human mating psychology.

"A robust jealousy mechanism is activated in men and women by different types of cues — those that threaten paternity in men and those that threaten abandonment in women," said Jaime C. Confer, the st... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 127