Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 109

Quality Not Quan-titty

(A short poem written in praise of my lovers' boobies, all of them regardless of size - and I include my own rather large ones in that category because nobody loves mine more than I do, with the possible exception of my lovely husband! Don't be fooled by the fact that it appears to be written from the male perspective - disregard gender as well as size. It's all about the love of boobies in general, but through my eyes and my lusts!)




My lover's tits are so tiny,

It's so plain for all to see,

Though my lover's tits are so tiny,

She sure loves them - just like me!

... Continue»
Posted by optanda 4 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 647  |  
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my uncles girlfriend

my uncle and his girlfriend went away on holiday for 5 days my uncles girlfriend was big woman huge tits i had the hots her 2 days had past i didnt really have my auntie in mind until i decided to go for a piss about 3 in the morning when i saw a pair of her worn black lace knickers on the floor i couldnt resist it i tried to get it out of my mind but my auntys pussy was stuck in my mind so i picked them up and started to smell them it was lush never thought i would even come remotely close to my uncles girlfriend crotch but i was so good i cum within seconds i did this several times through t... Continue»
Posted by benbois78 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1757  |  
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one night in a lift with a hot girl...:xxx

Frstt of i'll thanx my frndz that they like ma first story...and now this is ma second story iam realy a sexy guy love to fuck grlz...ok that story is abut that time when iam in spain with my b*****r...by big b*****r..is also love to fuck grlz..i realy enjoyed there..i saw there tow many hot chicks..
gosh...i just want to fuck any grl...but i got no chance...there....then one day..i go in a mall with ma b*o....there...i saw too many hot chicks...ma b*o ask me that why should you go on the second floor u'll enjoye and i go there .
when iam in lift there i saw there a hot grl..in sh... Continue»
Posted by pussy_lover42 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 254  |  
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Unique Tattooing

(Ann gets inked in an intimate area)

"Unique tattooing, can I help you?" David answered the ringing phone. "Hi David, this is Ann. Do you have any time to squeeze me in today?" she asked, cheerfully.

A huge smile flashed across David's already darkly handsome face when he heard her voice. Ann.... Her golden hair, long legs and chubby body just made his senses soar, not to mention his heart race every time she smiled at him. She had a smile that would melt the polar ice caps, and bring blinding light to darkened catacombs. He loved tattooing her as well, she never complained of the pain a... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 3 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 785  |  
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Sex with my teacher from india hydarabad

when i was in degree first year that is the first day of college me and my friends went to college on time for our welcome all the teachers are at the enterance gate then i suddenly saw a beautiful lady welcoming all the students she was very fair and had a good structure by luck she came to my class and told the she is our class teacher i was very happy that she is my class teacher she ask all the students to tell their names all students told their names along with me as i was a brillient student she was very close to me cell phones are not allowed in our college when ur head check for the c... Continue»
Posted by nana414 4 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1232  |  
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a hot night with a hot G.I.L.F

a hot night wit a hot G.I.L.F


i was preforming at a club down in the hot springs of a florida retirement community club.the drinks were stirring,the ladies were getting "loose".
doing my set i was making them laugh.it had been a while since i had gotten any and i was feeling it this night,giving it my all and working the stave like an obedient slave.though it wasn't for the crowd,it was for the elderly beauty in the front row.she was giving me that glare you get wen you are making a dame as wet as you are making her laugh.for an old crowd they knew how to roar,and i knew that night i was... Continue»
Posted by joederosa 2 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1122  |  
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I should have done it.

When I was uni-student. One day I was going to a book store by motorcycle.
I was aware a woman walking this way. Passing beyond, we turned our eyes each other.
I murmured "she is tight!" in my heart. When I was reading a book in a sotre, someone
stood by me and pushed stucked book down to my side ..
I faced that person. She was there! She didn't look at me but seemed to expect something.
After a while she moved to exit and stopped to face me for a moment.
I was too square to chase her. I should have done it.... Continue»
Posted by tatsu403 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 681  |  
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Edwina,s Strang Birth Defect



Cool crisp air filled the room as Kyle opened the window. There was a distant sound of birds chirping. To him, they sounded as a big brass band. The flowers were beginning to bloom, showing off their vibrant colors. Spring had finally filled come and admiring it was a great way to spend the morning. A fantastic morning was a good way to ensure a fantastic evening.

Kyle was expecting an evening of spectacular adventures. Not long ago his friend of many months and moon phases, Jed, had informed him of a most peculiar woman. He had also set Kyle up on a blind date with her. Jed made no men... Continue»
Posted by brianbigdogsmith 1 month ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1981  |  
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Who's the boss?

“OK,” Ann said as she bustled about packing her bags. “Now you know what to do and where everything is, don’t you?”
“Yes dear.” I replied. My voice must have given my thoughts away. She came over and stood in front of me.
“And don’t adopt that tone of voice with me Robert,” she said sternly, her smile belying the irritation she was trying to inject. “You know what a useless sod you are without me around to organise you.”
I reached out to slide my hand up the inside of her shapely legs but she pushed it away.
“Don’t think that will help you either,” she said. “I’ll be gone about a wee... Continue»
Posted by samvimes 3 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 324  |  
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Playing Doctor

By the time we got to my place I was sober enough to remember the promise I made to Dennis. When he came out from the bathroom I offered him a seat in my recliner.

"Time for your lesson," I announced grabbing for his big hairy penis.

"Actually," replied Dennis. "I just want you to do me like you did on the set."

"Well in that case," I answered. "Pardon me while I slip into something more comfortable."

********************************************************************************
As fast as I could I changed in the dressing roo... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1539  |  
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Our Own Show

Nikki was the first to blow. S/he caught me square in the eye.

"Oh! I'm cumming," s/he shouted.

That caused a chain reaction. Francesca splashed me on one side while Zaza got me on the other.

************************************************************************

"Fuck!' shouted Nick in frustration. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"

"I'm OK!" I assured Dennis.

"Now what do we do?" asked Zaza.

And with that one of Gigi's favorite movies popped into my head.

"Come on everybody! It's like what Judy Garla... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  Views: 401  |  
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sex poem

I was walking down my street one day and I saw this women cumming over the haze,I said hey hi how do you do my names James do you fancy a screw,so I took her upstairs and got it out stuck it in her minge and made her shout,we tossed and turned until we was tired,I stuck it her mouth then i fired! The very next day she phoned me up invited me another fuck,and has she sat upon my chest this humongouse turd fell upon my chest so has she bent down too give my knob a kiss,I was busting for a piss,so has I tinkled in her gob her mouth slammed shut she bit off me knob! She took me too hospital in her... Continue»
Posted by jcvja 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 151  |  
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Funny wank story

You think it will never happen and then...

I was spending a few hours jacking off the other day while I was watching my favorite site, Xhamster. I was looking at pictures and found a new hottie I liked named Melissa. She only has a couple of pictures on the site but I was stroking pretty hard to them.
When you stroke for a long time you build up a pretty good cumblast waiting to happen. I was heavily stroking, thinking of Melissa's cute ass and how good it would feel to fuck her doggy-style when I shot a short quick blast.
It rose up into the air. Normally I shoot a little to the left... Continue»
Posted by cockstrokin1 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 537  |  
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enjoying the bride of another.

Passed a young girl who looked lost. I circled the block and picked her up. She tells me she ran away from home. Dad and mom would not let her be free. She just wanted out. I ask where she was going now? She had no idea. I took her to my house. I parked and got out, She looked at me.
Come with me, its ok. She walks in my home and looks worried. I look at her, I will fuck you but not by f***e. You will give it up freely or not at all. She smiled and started eating my cookies. I had her a soda and opened the frig. Eat what you like. She acted like a starved dog as my bar.
Where you from, n... Continue»
Posted by hardnutjr 1 year ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 2756  |  
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What to do For an Encore

"Back in med evil days Gay sex was more in the open."

"Behold Hector, someone with their head and arms
caught in the stockade. Let us make haste
and part his ass cheeks forthwith!"

"You go ahead Orville I will go to the village and summon
the brethren so we can have a proper gang bang!"

*********************************************************************

The room was filled with cigarette smoke. But that wasn't a problem for two reasons. One we weren't at work and two I had started smoking again to help me over the estrogen roller co... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  Views: 707  |  
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Sexy Asian Housewife.

When I was in Sydney. I found an article on a notice board in some office.
It told " Seeking a tutor on English". I made a call and got an appointment for an interview.
I went to a big house located in high class suburb.
Sexy housewife was there. After a brief interview, she showed me inside of her house.
There were pool, souna, big frige for frozen fish etc. good looking white floor and wall.
We came in a small room for study. When I was explaining something,
she said "Noun?,,,,included dirty words? "like that,,,.
I ignored, and kept going. After a while, she said... Continue»
Posted by tatsu403 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 3276  |  
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Sanitary stop - part zero

Sanitary stop - part zero

My late uncle was a dedicated driver. He would always refuse an unnecessary sanitary stop. "Not until I need more gas. You can lose your overweight of water later. Just tied it up boy! Hehehe ;-)P". Of course, I tried to tie it up ...

But my unexperienced fondling to find the right knot which would work plus a full bladder growing from drinking so much in the hot weather, made me wonder whether it would be possible. The task more difficult as the tension mounted in my member.

I wondered, while he speeded down the left lane, how to solve my penible pred... Continue»
Posted by petdyke 4 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1385  |  
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Dominant Bather

He stands, staring down into the clear pool seeing reflections of others. Others that he has known and some he only wished he had known. His thoughts are not the clear thoughts of a man in true consideration of events gone by, but a cyclone of pictures like the vision one is said to have before dying. He is not dying, he is very much alive and in complete control. His heart beats at a rhythm he is himself imposing. As the rhythm increases so does the cyclone of thought. What is seen doesn’t matter anymore as long as the rhythm is kept. His eyes are now clenched shut; grinding teeth, clear pear... Continue»
Posted by Testdriver 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 374  |  
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He shot his load and wrote this....WTF? You figur

You are the coolest chick for bringing those feet in my face,the camera got fuzzy alot, if it was HD.....OH MA SOOUL BE CUMIN" RITE ONNA OUT MY BIG PEE HO! ALL women should have the feet featured I WILL DECREE with my fellow foot soldiers, the worthiness of said feet. I see cocks all day and night on this sight that have probably created more lesbians than all the DNA of 20 generations,no some dudes hate feet no matter what, and whats the big acceptable "fetish" ASS ASS ASS-no it's ASS-HOLE_E COLI-HEPATITIS A+ - DYSENTERY- 1000+ SPECIES/GENUS/f****y/ORDER/CLASS/PHYLUM/KINGD... Continue»
Posted by Lateshay 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 510  |  
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the dream i wish cum true

one night i had a dream. it started with me and my friend. we was in my bedroom talking about girls we would like to fuck. but he didn't know i was gay. so just talk for a long time. but it was getting late so choose to go to bed. but i couldn't sl**p. so i reach in my boxers and play with my 5.5 dick thinking about my friend. i never seem him nude. but i been thinking about it. well i got scare when i heard a noise. i look up and saw my friend watching. he ask me what i was thinking about and i said you. he smile and said i'm not gay but i will let you suck me and then i will fuck you. i got ... Continue»
Posted by lovedicks678 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  Views: 501  |  
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