Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 109

What Cums Around

"No officer I'm not smuggling i*****ls, my girl friend's giving me head in
the car, OK? We have a law against cell phones and texting but there's nothing
that says you can't get blown while driving, right?!"
************************************************************************
Every time I fly into Tucson, the airport gets longer and longer.
It doesn't help no matter what airline I use they always wind up
at the gate furthest from baggage claim.

It's just as well Tommy didn't fly with me to Tucson. That would
be a little hard to expla... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 583  |  
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RIGHT PLACE BUT WRONG TIME..

I met this girl at the store about two weeks ago. We talked on the phone for awhile before she invited me to her house which was about an hour away. The next morning she picked me up and we went there. The girl didnt waste no time getting down to business. We fucked in the bed on the floor and in the shower.NOW this happend every day but one day i noticed these shoes and wondard to myself whose were they but i diddnt say anything. The next time i went routine as usual,we made it the shower and as im pounding her ass from behind someone walked in the bathroom guess what it was her boyfriend. He... Continue»
Posted by MJG007 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 571  |  
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BJ At The Movies

I was at the movies with my GF and she just kept talking through the whole thing and it was starting to make me mad, then she started baging for some of the popcorn I had so I did the only thing I could think to do. I pulled out my dich g****d her head and shoved my dick down her throat. She gagged a little but then statred sucking like a pro. It felt great and I could enjoy the movie. When it was time for me to cum I pulled my dick out and came all over the popcorn, here you go bitch have some nice cum corn.... Continue»
Posted by ilovecougars69 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 867  |  
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When Love Is Gone

The first thing you should remember is that being lovelorn is not something serious. It is a very normal thing in life. People around you like your friends, your colleagues, your close relatives or even your ex have been in this situation at least once.

Of course, you will be sad and broken-hearted when your lover leaves you. This cannot be avoided. However, an intelligent girl will not let it affect her so much, she knows what is good for her and will recover her balance quickly by:

1. Spending her time on new hobbies or coming back to old ones that she has forgotten so far like: phot... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 127  |  
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Knowing the Right Fit

No two bras fit alike, even if they're the same style. Every bra manufacturer makes a slightly different product, so a Warner's demi cup is going to fit differently from a Le Mystere demi cup. A Hanes full-coverage won't feel just like a Calvin Klein full coverage.

By all means, if you've found a brand that works with your shape, stick with it. Otherwise, you've got work to do. But at least you know your size. You're in better shape than most.

In the dressing room, you're looking for the following fit:

• Cup: Smooth and taut, with no "denting" or oozing anywhere; if there's an underwi... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 208  |  
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Babymoons: Holidays when pregnant

Babymoons: Holidays when pregnant

Holidaying when you’re expecting is now so popular there’s even a name for it. Practical Parenting has these must-read tips for going on a ‘babymoon'

Holidays for parents-to-be are a growing trend – so much so that resorts and hotels around the world are marketing special packages specifically aimed at ‘babymooners’.

If you’re healthy and well, holidaying with a bump is a great way to relax and enjoy a bit of alone time with your partner pre-bub. But before you pack your bags and book your flights, it pays to do some homework.

The best time

The ... Continue»
Posted by billstew 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 381  |  
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Airplane

"D-234 is on line, we approching to destination. End over".
"Your stewardess are so wet, please my honey fuck me, forget this airplane".
"What aboat the people inside?"
"Let them and fuck me pilot".
"Hmmm your is on me know, what a fealing hmmm".
"I will show you that I have a monster for you".
"Yes tell me that thing, I become so wet". "Here is my tits hmmm".
"Yes nice tits hmmm".
"Let`s finished that I can`t stand it so long".
"Here is ohhhhhh".
"Nice fuck my pilot". "But there is a one thing".
"What?"
"Your destination is too far away, you missed that".
"Ooo crap look what you... Continue»
Posted by jopaoux 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor  |  Views: 226  |  
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Joey's Powers: part 2

Last time on Joey’s powers…
"Ohhhhhh... fu-fuck meeeeeee.."

He then relies some one was still here.

"ok if this isn't real, no more carrot cake at the cake monster!" he thought. "Here it comes"

He opened the door silently and could not believe what he saw...
___________________________________________________________________

He saw Candie squirting right at the office! this is the 1st time he had seen it outside of porn tapes. Her top piece was un-buttoned with her tits hanging out, thong, & skirt on the floor. Her pussy was like a automatic sprinkler that ran out of water: just... Continue»
Posted by Ahorny1 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 205  |  
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Top Reasons Why Men Cheat

There are quite a few reasons that could contribute to why men get involved with other women. Mainly, the sexual attraction, companionship, and curiosity pull men closer to those that they will have an affair with. TV shoes, advertisements, movies, and novels also contribute to the excitement of the lust for more women. While women tend to cheat on their boyfriends, fiancés, or husbands for reasons such as intimacy, sex, and money, men have a few different reasons.

Most of the time men wind up cheating to have more sex. They might lack enough sex in their current relationship, so they might... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 321  |  
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Why Men Cant Commit in Relationship

Issues with trust

Some men might have been hurt a lot by women in the past or maybe saw one of his friends become hurt after being close to a woman. These men might have a hard time trusting women and fear that after getting too close to her and putting a lot of time and effort that she will leave or cheat on him. These kinds of men really don’t want to take that risk.

Just having fun

If you are dating a man in his 20’s, chances are he is just interested in having fun and probably trying to build his own life and career before thinking about a serious committed relationship. Even a ma... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 180  |  
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pool table adventure lol

well many yrs ago i always wanted to have gd hard sex on a pool or cnooker table................but i must admit not in a pub full of ppl lol...anyway i worked in a couple of pubs and so 1 nite aftr locking up and leaving the certains undrawn i ravished my boyfriend ovr the pool table gt him to bend me over and give it to me doggy style was amazing fun, then he flipped me on my back wiv my legs up open wide in the air whilst he slowly slid his hard cock into my tight pussy he took his time so he cud watch himself slide in and out of my pussy............anywayz as we carried on this sexy motion... Continue»
Posted by andetonya999 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 344  |  
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Unique Tattooing

(Ann gets inked in an intimate area)

"Unique tattooing, can I help you?" David answered the ringing phone. "Hi David, this is Ann. Do you have any time to squeeze me in today?" she asked, cheerfully.

A huge smile flashed across David's already darkly handsome face when he heard her voice. Ann.... Her golden hair, long legs and chubby body just made his senses soar, not to mention his heart race every time she smiled at him. She had a smile that would melt the polar ice caps, and bring blinding light to darkened catacombs. He loved tattooing her as well, she never complained of the pain a... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 3 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 784  |  
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A tribute almost cost me..

True Story

I just, I mean JUST got into doing tributes, and I love it!

Knowing how much ladies love my cum all over them has turned into a major turn. I day or two ago, I did my first official tribute and posted the pic on my profile.

Since, I've been listening to requests and looking for epic pictures to leave my k**s on.

About an hour ago, I accepted my second official request/tribute, and starting preparing for it.

I clicked on one of her sexiest photos, saved it and printed it - full size of course. ;-)

I opened a couple videos to watch while I rubbed one out, but I'm not... Continue»
Posted by Good6Enough 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 451  |  
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Love of food

*Another food play: this is a fantasy...*

I love food. Now don't get me wrong everyone loves food but I found my love of food through cooking class. Now I know the intro part is going to be mundane...
Hi my name is Melody but I like being called Mel for short. I'm 5, 3 with long curly red hair and green eyes. I have a bad temper...I have a curvy figure.
There now that's settled let's go on with the story.
  I was sitting in my room one warm Saturday evening eating strawberries with chocolate cream. There was other stuff laid out like berries and whipped cream along with other exotic frui... Continue»
Posted by ForeverGold101 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 210  |  
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A good night,turned bad,turned GREAT!

In october 2008 I had just got out of jail after about six months,and was released on probation.I obviously was in hunt mode for some tail after being stuck with a bunch of dudes in limbo waitng to get out,Sigh...So anyhow i was out for about two weeks and my buddy dustin asked me if i wanted to go up to mt lemmon here in tucson to this girl mollies cabin that she was house sitting with him,my boy trevor and dustin's cousin derick."I'm like hell yeah a cabin in the woods(I love mt lemmon and would've been happy jus going up there)with girls and drinks"So we end up meeting up with this girl del... Continue»
Posted by zona520 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 366  |  
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Theatrical.....19

Theatrical……19

we drove into town and parked in the same multi story that we had been in when he first took me to the hotel, so many memories, already and I had only known him a year, a year, was it really so long, it seemed like only yesterday, but then no, yesterday was when I got fucked by the football team, I smiled to myself as I got out of the car, oh what a whore I was becoming,
we wandered around doing girlie shopping, in and out of every store, boots, Debenhams, he bought a bow tie which I helped him to choose and some nice socks, cotton, I was making a mental note of all his ta... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 1 year ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 1357  |  
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Fucking a cute thick girl...

So, it was a while since my last story... (I fucked Kara) Kara was out of state for a bit and I hit a total dry spell. It was crappy weather outside, classes were canceled and I took the day off of work. I was just sitting there watching movies and old sitcoms all day while eating cheesy ruffles... That was pretty satisfying enough for me, but I had to fuck or I was gonna go crazy.

I scrolled through my phone book on my cellphone. I'm not gonna lie, it was a bit more sparse than I expected it to be, I thought I knew more girls than I actually did. I sent out a few texts to some girls... Continue»
Posted by elquicko 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 1709  |  
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me and wife never knew my mate was bisexual

me and ann had been married at the age of 18 and where now both 32 and we had experimented and loved to set up scenarios with people we knew and had fantasised off fucking
this night we had been clubbing and invited two couples and a girl we knew back to ours outside i met an old workmate and his mate and he asked if they could come back ann said yes wispering to me my mate allan was sexy even though he was about fifty i told her he had been to a swingers club liz fell out with john and he vanished as liz said he was probably away with some tart as i said to her never as she was so sexy she ... Continue»
Posted by hornyashell07 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo, Hardcore  |  Views: 3068  |  
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Something happened on the way to Santa Fe Springs

One day in 1991, my girlfriend asked me to take a short cut on the way back to her apartment. She asked me to turn left at the next street, so I did. A little ways up the street, she asked me to pull over, which I also did. She said, "We're here."

I said, "Where are we?"

She replied, "At a restaurant. I'd like you to try something. It's called calamari."

We went inside and I noticed something odd. There were lots of tables, with absolutely nothing on them, and only two chairs with one against a wall and the other at the same table but facing oppositely. No one else was there, e... Continue»
Posted by Whoregasm4u 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 2007  |  
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the connection

i have been exposed to sex for the better part of sixteen years...from the first time i ever had an erection i knew i enjoyed it, the sneaking around, having to hide this enjoyment, in essence i discovered in hiding this enjoyment i essentially made it my own...something that i could have to myself (like thinking to yourself, but physically) for years i kept this ritual to myself and thought i could maintain this escape for a long time

but the night i lost my virginity i lost that to which i could keep...

that night was...unique a story all to its own

but regardless the outcome was gr... Continue»
Posted by gsriw 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 541  |  
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