Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 103

Picking up a guy

“Ernst, do you like me?” She looked at him with her big blue eyes, her long eye lashes fluttering exaggeratedly.
“Of course. I think you’re great… and beautiful too.”
“But you’ve never made a pass at me?” she said with a hurt expression.
“Everybody thought you were unavailable,” he said.
“Yeah I guess that was true, but now I am… so… are you going to make a pass at me?”
He looked into her earnest blue eyes “Well in that case yes, but I left the instructions in my bag.”
She smiled. “I can save you the time… we can go to my home if you like? My parents are at work.”
“OK, I like that ide... Continue»
Posted by FredNerk 4 months ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  

The Wrestler's Revenge

WARNING: This story is entirely fictional but does contain dark themes and elements.
This is not for the feint of heart! Don't say I didn't warn you hehe


Part 1:

In a small run-down building in a run-down part of town, the wrestler and former champion known as Sammy Bunns
was about to enter a very murky world. She looked different out of her usual wrestling attire, less glamorously sport... Continue»
Posted by LittleMissFart 1 month ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
  |  4

Question for the men?

I have been talking with men, and, most men say 'They like to fuck a smelling foul pussy!' because, it give them pleasure during sex, and, like the smell of sex in the room, more like a workout.

My quesion is, What do you prefer, a smelling foul pussy? or, a pussy don't have no scent at all?

PS. If wondering about my pussy, my pussy don't have no scent.... Continue»
Posted by hotblackpussy42 5 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  
  |  51

Seduction Of Young Nurse

My duty is to look after her husband while she is out most of time shopping or with her friends. I often give sedatives to Mr Sharma so that he can have a peaceful sl**p. I once saw a collection of porn movies in their closet and began to watch them when the wife was away and husband was sl**ping. I would put the volume low and watch porn and then put the movie back. I would sit on the sofa and rub my pussy and cum by fingering myself. Porn collection was very hot. I would dress more casually in skirts and loose tops as I became more comfortable with the couple and they loved me. I am avera... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  

basketball tournament pt. 1

ok so my team makes it to a basketball tournament in humbotlt california, i think i was about 16 or 17 then. i never heard of that city before, but everyone was telling me its very boring, and old fashioned up there. there is nothing to do but smoke weed. i wasn't looking forward to it but i still wanted to win the whole tournament at all costs. when my team arrives to the the city, it was just how everyone said. the small town was so much in the woods there was only 1 hotel. since it was a 25 team tournament it was filled. so a lot of teams stayed with families that had the biggest house... Continue»
Posted by Spyda14 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
  |  4


A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!"
Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times. One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her. Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning:

"Ohh, I need a bike! Ahh, I need a bike!"

... Continue»
Posted by papa61 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
  |  3

mrs fielding sees the snake

mrs fielding nearly fainted when she pulled down my jeans.she didnt believe me when i told her that i was huge.her face was a picture.all the emotions in a couple of seconds.suprise,delight,panic,bewilderment,amusement, one point i really thought she would faint.when she recovered her composure she began to stroke the length and girth with both hands.

now lets get one thing clear from the start---having a huge cock isnt all its cracked up to be.firstly women think its great to have a massive cock inside them but most cant fit it in.well mine hasnt been fully in one yet.its also diffi... Continue»
Posted by tonguehello 5 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
  |  2

Blow Job Etiquette (By A Woman)

1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
2. Extension to rule #1- So if you get one, be grateful.
3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw; it is not standard practice to cum on someone's face.
4. Extension to rule #3- No I DON'T have to swallow.
5. My ears are NOT handles.
6. Extension to rule#5- do not push on the top of my head, do you really WANT
puke on your dick?
7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get' it is NEVER OK to fart.
8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get it through your head- I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don... Continue»
Posted by Jim-Nice-But-Dim 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
  |  9

Worst 101 Sexual Perversions

101. Assphilia:- The desire to put your Toungue on an ass Image.

100. Pyrophilia:- The burning desire to have sex with a partner who is on fire. Tip: lighter fluid works well and doesn't smell as bad as petrol.

99.5. Pyrocoprophilia:- The desire to take a shit on your partner and set the shit on fire.

99. Cropohilia:- Liking for rumpy pumpy in a field of corn.

98. Frodorism:- Lusting after a small person's ring.

97. Dwarfism:- Dressing up in silly pointed hats and wanking over a sl**ping person of the female type gender.

96. Autoerotisism:- Cars, lots and lots... Continue»
Posted by hairyseeker69 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
  |  7


Her name was Meredith. She was as plump as a little partridge. Thick muscular legs, toned. Her ass defied gravity.

We would get together in my room and play guitar and sing songs. We would do Cash and Carter's "Jackson". We were pretty good too. She could harmonize well.

One night we were at a bar here in Down Town. She sat in the stool next to me. She wore a short skirt. She had soft blond hair on her thighs, very light, barely visible.

Her tits were small and pert. She had big gorgeous brown eyes. And behind her pouting lips were a set of big white teeth, the top row of which protru... Continue»
Posted by slanderhamster 1 year ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
  |  2

sun tan

so your laying down on the beach, letting the sun burn your back you silly girl
suddenly you feel the cold drip of lotion on your back , quickly followed by warm hands massaging into your shoulders and down your back
you hear a voice saying"don"t look round", you decide not to as the rubbing feels so good and you needed lotion on your back anyway
the hands move slowly up and down your back, the fingers every now and then brushing against your breasts as you lay on your front, the hands slowly move lower on your back until they reach the top of your bum,
they slide beneath yo... Continue»
Posted by naughty66 5 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
  |  1

subprize !!!!!!!!


here is a store for you and you all, all ways have a great day...

mmmmmm OH Honey, you make my dick so hard just thing of kissing your beautiful lips with our tongues which are touching and mangling together like to lovers all wrapped together with our hands, arms, legs holding and rubbing each others naked bodies. We are as one person, a body of warm heated love mass. When all in a split secant my dog jumps up on to our bed. He pushes his noise in between our bodes, touch our breast and nipples, rubbing your hard nipples between my fing... Continue»
Posted by diggersam 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  


I had to write this because men get a bad rap that we dont eat enough pussy so i had to break it down so that it was forever and correctly BROKE. Men love eating pussy ive seen men in strip clubs eating stripper pussy (nasty). First lets talk about the pussy. It is nasty as hell and you should that the heavens men even want to put their mouth down there. Yall pee thru it fuck with it men cum (big loads) inside of it, Babies come out of it, discharges, yeast infections, bladder infections, yall bleed stinky bl**d for a week an get mad at who wont eat it? Then some of yall dont know how to ke... Continue»
Posted by swat_tx 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
  |  3

'Hump a Tree', A Girls Diary Memories

We all sat around as Kimberly carved away on the tree. We were all in our early teens, a group of girls lost in a hormonal wilderness, neither here nor there, just fantasying about sex, or our concepts and ideas about what sex was all about, and about cocks, we always talked about cocks, and we giggled, and vacillated from thin to thick, long to short, but always having our own personal craving.
Someone screamed, 'OMG Kim', and there was another scream and laughter. I went across to see what all the commotion was about, and what confronted me brought a smile to my face.
Kim, shortened from K... Continue»
Posted by MarieL 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
  |  6

me and my p e e teacher

I regularly went to college and I also used to go to tuitions … I used to go to maths tuition and the teachers name was maria …. She was a christian and the most beautiful lady I’ve ever seen and I was one of her favorite students …. She took tuitions in one rented room …. The timings differed and some times I even went to her house to clear some doubts and she lived with her mother who was really old …. We called her ms maria ,she was 27 years old and was divorced….and her height was 5ft 6 and she was fair like a rabbit and she had silky hair …. During classes many students used to comment be... Continue»
Posted by ajbasu 9 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  

pit stop

Me and my girlfreind at the time where heading back from a holiday we had been driving round Spain. Fucking drinkin and partying our way round.
we were about a days driving away from home and had decided to pull in for the night at a hotel.
we got checked in to our room and went to get food on the way back we spotted a pub and Jen my GF wanted to go for a drink but i had left my wallet in the hotel cos she was paying for dinner. she went to the pub and i went back to the hotel.
i headed to the pub as i walked in i look for jen but i could not see her so i asked the bar staff they said she w... Continue»
Posted by lukewallace 5 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
  |  1


going out to the bar was something i didnt do often. I usually was a more reserved type of guy .So on this night i dont know what lead me to a strip bar but there i was with a facefull of tittys and ass and throwing back shots of henny when suddenly i was approached by this beatiful woman by the name of red you see this woman was not any ordainary woman this woman knew what she wanted and knew what she liked she was a freak im talking the true def.....of nasty, sheliked objects in her ass she liked to be slapped and called a stank nasty cunt she was really into shit like that and it turned me ... Continue»
Posted by dblac2 5 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
  |  2

The Italian Job 8

The Italian Job 8
The second part of this tale involves the interpreter “I know, I know” I can hear you all saying “Oh not another fucking interpreter” but hear me out and draw your own conclusions after.
Mrs Chikolova was supposed to be our interpreter for the duration of the job but it turned out that she could hardly speak any English although she could read it but no one else could speak any English so no one knew she couldn’t, to look at her you would have thought she was a middle aged spinster but she was indeed married, she was in the habit of wearing dark blue dresses that had small ... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
  |  1

It's A Trap : 8 Years Finally Pays Out

"Hey bes, you've never seen a guy's thing right?" I asked as I lay beside her on her bed.
Silk bed sheets she got when she went to Hong Kong last Christmas made it a bit hard for me to move.
Not that it was hard to move on but I was afraid that my large body will tear the fabric apart.

We both kept staring at her ceiling. It's always been like this. My best friend and I would lay on her bed and we'd talk about pretty much everything. There was almost no boundaries between us. We met on our freshman year of high school in such an unusual way that I find it strange how this cute little girl... Continue»
Posted by blu3rthanu 1 year ago  |  Categories: , Sex Humor  |  
  |  2

She Watched

Rick ran on the treadmill trying to forget is problems, he continued to have flash backs of his failure as a man, a failure as a husband. Rick continued to ran as fast as he could as he looked down at the minutes knowing he was nowhere near braking any kind of record so he hit the stop button with his head down in defeat he was snapped back to reality by his wife, you can’t run away from being a sissy boy Rick, you might as well come down he is not leaving anytime soon. Rick wife Carla was a sexy Cuban woman fully equipped with the curves, like a grown woman should have. She stood there arms c... Continue»
Posted by mrdexs 1 year ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |