I HAVE TO THANK RETROLOVER, as a result of talking with him, my memory was set back to Christmas DAy morning 1980 at 0134 me and Two Work Mates who i will call "TOM and DICK" were waiting for the Staff Coach to take us home, these coaches were either 24 or 82 seter jobs normaly. TOM says "Hay whats this coming our way" Dick "no Can`t be for us shorly" along came the usual coach driver exept hes driving my boy hood dream car the E-Type Jaguar Sports Car, For those who don`t know it, a two seater, the driver had not checked-in to see if there was anyone who needed it, he was aparently just passi... Continue»
Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 103
Doug had brought his girlfriend Montana to his uncle’s farm for a day. He knew that she loved horsed and his uncle had a bunch of them. Doug had planned a whole picnic out by the pond as well.
They drove down the dirty road to the farm house and Montana looked out the window as they drove past the cows and horses. He couldn’t help to smile as they got to the farm house. He pulled up by the barn and he got out and walked to the other side of the truck and help Montana get out as well.
At 5’3” she was much shorter than his 6’ but he loved it and she had blonde highlighted hair that came to... Continue»
The noise didn't fit! Arriving home I entered our house and stopped to listen. The sound of the woman was familiar yet wrong. What I mean is, the orgasm sounds was that of my wife,but it was accompanied by sobs yet not distressing sobs. - "You fucking shit,your cums right up inside me you idiot!"
Now that was my wife in orgasm,but the sob bit was out of place! - Do I charge in and destroy the cock that was in her? - Who is in her? I am inclined to always ascertain what's going on before - metaphorically speaking - killing the person found to be at fault. At the same tim... Continue»
It all started on my friends birthday.
James had been a good friend of mine for a few years and I had known his girlfriend, Felicia, for only a few weeks.
She was 19, about my height and had long brown hair with blue eyes, I thought she was attractive but never imagined anything could happen with her, she was my friends girlfriend.
The three of us met up at a pub for a few drinks and a meal, and eventually a few drinks led to hitting the town for a night of clubbing.
It was about 3am when Felicia said she was tired, so we all left and she and James caught a taxi together.
The next m... Continue»
she took me by the hand and lead me upstairs, her hips swinging so sensually. every flirty step she takes swings her miniskirt bouncing and swaying back and forth just enough for me to peak under and see the curvy bottom of her ass just where it meets the top of her thigh. it was mesmerizing. watching her ass bounce just inches from my face, that lacy thong rubbing between her legs as she steps up left then right then left then right again. her skin felt so soft as i ran my fingers up and down her legs while we were dancing earlier. i wanted to feel her again. i reached up with my free ha... Continue»
Bappy's parents went out for a few hours and we were feeling naughty.
I got up and kissed bappy really passionately and he pushed me against the wall holding my arms above my head.
I struggled free and opened the door with my elbow not taking my lips off bappy. on our way through I grabbed a towel from the bannister and threw it on the bed. He picked me up and pushed me onto the bed kissing his way down my body.
Ramming his tongue in my pussy we both groaned as he tasted me and teased my little pussy. as I leaned up he pulled off my top and trousers properly and left me in ... Continue»
My duty is to look after her husband while she is out most of time shopping or with her friends. I often give sedatives to Mr Sharma so that he can have a peaceful sl**p. I once saw a collection of porn movies in their closet and began to watch them when the wife was away and husband was sl**ping. I would put the volume low and watch porn and then put the movie back. I would sit on the sofa and rub my pussy and cum by fingering myself. Porn collection was very hot. I would dress more casually in skirts and loose tops as I became more comfortable with the couple and they loved me. I am avera... Continue»
1. We can get laid anytime we want
2. We never have to buy our own drinks at the bar
3. We piss sitting down so its easier to pass out on the toilet when you're d***k
4. We get out of speeding tickets by crying
5. We get out of speeding tickets by showing a little cleavage or leg
6. We can sl**p our way to the top of the class
7. We get to shop at Victoria's Secret
8. We can marry rich and then not have to work
9. We never have to pay when we go out on dates
10. Men take us on all expense paid trips - all we have to do is sl**p with them
11. Men light our cigarettes for us
12. Men... Continue»
well last night i was watching football when i get a knock at the window. its the chav crew. its jason, nicky and jamie. anyway they want to come in. the house was empty so i let them in
They want a shag off me so i said ok, anyway the car comes up the drive its the f****y so i quicky get them out of the house through the window.
anyway as i do that jamie and nicky leg it over the wall. jason however just hides. i go to door open it and then go see f****y into house. i say im just getting a drink of mountain dew out of the shed. we keep some pop in there along with other tinned stuff( ... Continue»
<a href='http://xhamster.com/photos/view/626082-9957159.html'><img src="http://p2-1.xhamster.com/000/009/957/159_1000.jpg" border="0"></a>
Ten years ago I happen to find myself at one of those uncomfortable pseudo liberal parties in the hills of Hollywood where people usually went to get not-so-quietly d***k, abuse prescription meds and talk about endless unfiltered politics ..
I was there but for the good graces of my clique, a ragtag group of pirate Nixon’s if i ever saw one ..
It was a view into a world I had little use for but could not pull away from .. I had... Continue»
lilbigal 2 minutes ago.
She is a 22 years old single, bisexual female
I was at this club the other night and I noticed this guy staring at me. He was very cute but with another girl. Everytime she wasn't looking at him he would look over at me and give me the lets fuck look. I was sitting at a table where he could see me spreading and then closing my legs wide for him. I love teasing guys and girls. When his gf got up to go do something he looked over and I spread my legs and ran my middle finger up and down a few times on my blue jeaned slit, and then licked my f... Continue»
It was the last day of my vacation, i was 16 (two years ago). My dad, mom, b*****r, aunty and uncle were getting ready to leave me in the airport, it takes 5 hours to come to the airport from my city. My uncle was driving the van and my b*****r was sitting near him, my mom and dad was sitting on the second row and my aunt and me was sitting on the last row. We started our 5 hours trip. After around 30 minutes my aunt touched my hand and slowly she takes our hands near her pussy. Then suddenly she gave me a rapid kiss on the lips and she put my hand under shirt and with her hand she was touchin... Continue»
One summer for about a month before classes were to start, I was having sex between 6 to 7 times a day with three different girls. None of the girls knew about each other, TILL the day after school started. After they found out about each other, I was cut off and didn’t have sex, and boy did I have blue balls.
About a week after the girls found out about each other I fell asl**p in class and started having a dream about one of the girls giving me a blow job. All of a sudden my friend who was sitting besides me nudged me awake, and I awoke just at the boundary of the point of no return. I tr... Continue»
After three years of marriage, Kim was still questioning her husband about his lurid past.
"C'mon, tell me," she asked for the thousandth time, "how many women have you slept with?"
"Baby," he protested, "if I told you, you'd throw a fit".
Kim promised she wouldn't get angry, and convinced her hubby to tell her.
"Okay," he said, "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven - then there's you - nine, ten, 11, 12, 13.."... Continue»
101. Assphilia:- The desire to put your Toungue on an ass Image.
100. Pyrophilia:- The burning desire to have sex with a partner who is on fire. Tip: lighter fluid works well and doesn't smell as bad as petrol.
99.5. Pyrocoprophilia:- The desire to take a shit on your partner and set the shit on fire.
99. Cropohilia:- Liking for rumpy pumpy in a field of corn.
98. Frodorism:- Lusting after a small person's ring.
97. Dwarfism:- Dressing up in silly pointed hats and wanking over a sl**ping person of the female type gender.
96. Autoerotisism:- Cars, lots and lots... Continue»
There is a man on this site by the name of Snake92666.
He is fairly well-known on this site, with over 36,000 comments and over 600 friends.
He is also amusingly homophobic.
I found this out one day, a little over a month back. I had left him a comment on his profile asking about the reason he explicitly stated twice in a row, in capital letters, that he was "100% straight." It seemed a little fishy to me, especially when his "about me" also contained several links to pictures of his penis, with overstated invitations for women to admire and men to avoid.
So I left him a comme... Continue»
Yep, I’m making another one of these! Next one is already planned, but I’m not sure if the next piece I’ll upload is that one, or another one I’ve had on my mind for a while. Hint hint: I’m not sure how well video game rule 34 will be appreciated here. :P
Same as usual! Hit CTRL+F or scroll down to “SEX STARTS HERE” if that’s what you’re here for!
NOTE- PLEASE love a comment! Good, bad, ugly, any are good! I need reviews if I want to improve!
The sky was pitch black and the moon was high in the sky. I sat al... Continue»
it all started when me and my bf at the time was sat in the living room it had been a pretty boring day we were just having a couple of drinks as we did on most occasions and i was getting a little horny so i looked at my bf and said i was going to put a dvd on so i walked ova to my bag and pulled out a porn dvd and wen he realised what i had put on u saw a smile come right across his face he looked pleased so we started to watch it and continue our drinking by the end of it we had started to kiss and caress each other just on top of our clothes we started to get in to the moment and he slowly... Continue»
After my divorce from my 2ND wife; I had to stay with my parents; while the former owners of my new house moved out. I slept in their spare bedroom. I always sl**p in the nude; I don't own a pair of pj's; since I always go commando; I don't own any underwear either. One Saturday morning I slept late; since I didn't have to work. It had been a hot night , and I had kicked off all the covers. I was sl**ping on my back dreaming about my new girlfriend. and had an erection. My Mother came to wake me for a late breakfast and opened the door without knocking. I didn't awaken immediately; so she step... Continue»
well this story wont be nice n sext and if your tryin to rub one out
forget it. Lol this wil just be an awkward story.. I was fifteen at
the time. My boyfriend of nine months was s*******n. Hmmm let
me tell about our first date first (lol sorry) Chris was my
boyfriends name. Chris came over to my house and me and him sat
in my houses' extra rooms. We played video games. Doing shy little
stuff. We was still fifteen and s*******n. Then when it was time
for him to go we hugged... Then kissed. We kissed for like five
minutes i swear. Before this kiss i was a nice little virgin that has