Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 103

Smallest cock she's ever seen! And a prematu

So I was working the night shift at the hotel (which I normally hate doing!) and in come a couple of very pretty 18 year old girls who had been out in town. One of them went straight upstairs to bed, but the other one decided to stay and chat for a while. I could immediately tell that she was both interested in me and very horny, so when I said I was going outside for a smoke, she asked if she could join me. When we got outside, she made it very clear that she wanted to have some fun and approached me and started to kiss me. After a few minutes, I made my way up her skirt and pulled her lit... Continue»
Posted by 5inchsoffun 10 months ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
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Watching Neighbor 2

My neighbor Linda lived down the block from me and I had seen her get fucked by her "friend" as well as her boyfriend. I have not been able to have a repeat of that session (although I have looked enough), Linda came to me and asked if she could "borrow" $50.00. Well I knew that there were two chances I would ever see that money again (Little and None), But I humored her telling her that I would lend it to her if she would allow me to touch her titties. She always declined and said she was NOT THAT kind of girl. I just smiled at her and she left.
2 days later I was just getting home when she ... Continue»
Posted by frogfur 8 months ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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She Watched

Rick ran on the treadmill trying to forget is problems, he continued to have flash backs of his failure as a man, a failure as a husband. Rick continued to ran as fast as he could as he looked down at the minutes knowing he was nowhere near braking any kind of record so he hit the stop button with his head down in defeat he was snapped back to reality by his wife, you can’t run away from being a sissy boy Rick, you might as well come down he is not leaving anytime soon. Rick wife Carla was a sexy Cuban woman fully equipped with the curves, like a grown woman should have. She stood there arms c... Continue»
Posted by mrdexs 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Nasty Blowjob

I'm such a frickin dork but I had to tell everyone about this. It was my first time. lol Not my first time fucking but anyways I guess it might be obvious I like to dink a lot. Well I probably had a bit too much last night and now I can't even go to sl**p. I was drinking this alchoholic energy drink type thing. So I'm hangin out with some of my friend and this one really hot guy I never met and I just go up to him and say "Your hot. Could I give you like a blowjob or something." Yeah I was fucked up. lol I never say stuff like that to someone I just met. So he laughs a... Continue»
Posted by Anime24 6 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Laid in a day!!!

I've been reading Xhamster stories now for a little over a year, wow some are pretty hot and some are funny. Here is my story I hope you enjoy.


So about a month ago like any guy with work, bills, and little to no time for ones self. Decided to do the whole online dating thing to get some new pussy. Searched around for about a day or so reading about online sites, what they are charging and or any hidden gimmicks. I found this one site. www.dateorplay.com, made a profile and with in the first 30 min I was talking to 3 chicks who were real, not the fake bot type or super model perf... Continue»
Posted by themoose78 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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SEX IN KUALA LUMPUR

I would like to share my sex enjoyment in Malaysia. I was travelling to Kuala Lumpur for Technical meeting. I arrived Kl at 9apm and went from airport to my hotel. It was about 11pm. I was tired and was looking forward to rest as soon as room was given. The receptionist was charming, sexy with very good figure. She smiled and welcome me. The room was given and I started to move to my room. She requested me to wait as someone will accompany me to my room with my luggage. As there was no bell boy around she accompanied me. She briefed me about the facilities in the room and then left. I rested ... Continue»
Posted by fukkerguy 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor  |  
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The maid of the mannor

Ann worked as a scullery maid; all of her memories involve working in kitchens, cleaning pots, scrubbing floors and preparing a****ls, her mother had become ill and was bed ridden. Ann stood scrubbing the pots from Lord Thompson’s dinner; she heard his deep voice as he spoke to the doctor watching over Ann’s mother. Ann began to hear them both walking down the stairs and the front door open and close as the doctor left, she was deeply worried about her mother and started to scrub the post as hard as she could to take her mind off it. Ann scrubbed harder but her elbow smacked into the clean po... Continue»
Posted by Red555 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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aunty takes good care of me(part 1)

my aunty betty was to say the least a total hottie.okay she was over 40 something but hey have you seen some of those women.she always had a soft spot for me.i dont know what it was but i always seemed to get on with the more mature ladies.not that i didnt get on with younger girls.

this summer i went to stay for a few days.she needed the house painting and as i was off to college she figured i could do with the money and also help her out.in the end it was she who helped me out.

i dont know how but i fell off the ladder .a hospital visit and i had broken my left arm and leg.they wanted ... Continue»
Posted by tonguehello 6 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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School Girl Bullies pt. 2


I awoke to the annoying loud sound of my alarm going off.

I turned it off and laid in my bed for a few moments contemplating the day ahead. It suddenly dawned on me that I'm very likely to run into those cruel girls from yesterday again, and a big grin crept across my face.

I jumped out of bed, bounced around getting dressed putting on my silly uniform, ran down the hall to the bathroom, brushed my teeth and combed my messy bedhead hair.

"Have a nice day!" I cheerily told my reflection in the mirror, and hopped off down the stairs and rushed out the door. I was so excited, for the f... Continue»
Posted by azid619 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Wet Works

"You almost done Lilly?"

"Almost."

I was anxious for the weekend, but it wasn't because I had something to do. It was simply because I don't think people could understand how much pressure could be put on a person from a small print company in the middle of the city. We had a lot of high brow clientele and when lawyers want their paperwork they want it yesterday.

Snow had fallen and the ground was iced over in patches that day as I stood at the back door waiting for her to leave. I could feel the cold from outside through the wall. I took a look back at Lilly through the open door fro... Continue»
Posted by RichardSchwarz69 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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"Mostly" Ghostly Part 2

Being a ghost sucks!

There I said it. As a Ghost I have limited control of the physical world. Aside from turning lights on and off I'm pretty much useless, that being said I have discovered quite a few tricks.

"Are you there Jack?" Regan asked from her room.

"No, I'm out in the Living Room." I said.

"I'm getting dressed so don't come in!" she said.

Regan came out wearing a rather fetching blue sun dress. "Have you been up all night?" she asked.

"Yeah...why?" I asked.

"I made up the couch for you, why didn't you..."

Yep lightbulb.

I didn't mention this in our ... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo, Voyeur  |  
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Caught FUCKING my Chinese Girlfriend in the backse

This is a true story and I’ve accompanied it with some pictures in my gallery – so please take a look!

LiuChen was one of my Chinese girlfriends. I was her first lover and I busted her virginity in the backseat of my Ford Expedition. It was quite hard laying atop her body and penetrating her on that stiff bench seat, but I managed. She and I didn’t live close together so I didn’t like having to take her to my house, fuck and then take her back home where her retired parents resided. Every now and then they’d leave on vacation or to f****y functions and I’d come over and wear LiuChen’s pu... Continue»
Posted by violentwhiteman 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Stupid young cunt

I'm getting older now and dont have the patience I used to have, really dealing with the stupid young cunt around now is almost not worth it.

I have a steady piece of cunt that I use, its happy to have me around and I can always get a blowjob or a handy from it. When its on the rag I do it up the shitter too, only problem with it is that its vagina is a monster - really I think ist k** must have come out sideways -haha - no other way to explain how a vag could be that loose. But the best thing abut this cunt is that it understands it place, I dont have to listen to it talk about its favouri... Continue»
Posted by happy_wanking 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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i was a lucky teen

Ok so this took place yeats when i was 13-14 years old i was aways horny so this took place on the day before thanks giving my twin cousins came over fore for thanksgiving and the week end i shared a room with my s****r one of my cousins would sl**p on my s****rs bed and the other on mine i would never sl**p on my bed i would sleppp on the couch but ween my cousins come over i sl**p with them so my cousins just became 15 years old my cousin andrea would sl**p with my s*s and her twin s*s would sl**p with her name is cesi so i was 13 u was 5'9 and had a ahletic body i played basketball and id... Continue»
Posted by greatstoryteller9704 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Sarah and Nicole go Shopping (part one)


This and the following part two are extracts from my novel "Sarah's Garden." They aren't really explicit erotica but rather an amusing account of two newly out lesbian girls let loose by their girlfriends for a day's shopping in town and a spot of girl watching with some rather startling results. Just a bit of fun really for your amusement.

**********************

“Well all I can say is that it’s going to be an interesting encounter with your mum tomorrow Nicky!” declared Sarah feelingly as she steered her BMW along the west bound autobahn a little outside Zur... Continue»
Posted by Mikebasil 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Confessions of a token nigger ....



Ten years ago I happen to find myself at one of those uncomfortable pseudo liberal parties in the hills of Hollywood where people usually went to get not-so-quietly d***k, abuse prescription meds and talk about endless unfiltered politics ..
I was there but for the good graces of my clique, a ragtag group of pirate Nixon’s if i ever saw one ..

It was a view into a world I had little use for but could not pull away from .. I had somehow come to take up the "token Black guy" position in this group and the cost of my vicarious entertainment at... Continue»
Posted by mondotoken 6 years ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Girls night out

Girls night out

My wife, Sarah, had gone out clothes shopping with some friends and then they were all off on a hen night to see some male strippers. So, with her out of the way for a ‘Girls Night Out’, I’d asked a few mates round for a ‘Lads Evening In’.

There were supposed to have been six of us – Ian Terry John Billy and Mike and myself. We had agreed that Ian should bring round the latest editions to his extensive collection of porn DVD’s and we would all chip in some booze. Unfortunately Terry and Mike had broken down on the way home from a football match, got pissed while waiting ... Continue»
Posted by whitewifeneedsbbc 2 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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inside of her pt4

i replied to my mom that i was trying to get back to the bathroom to grab my towel, she looked at me like i was lying to her , she asked why i had not been to work? and why didnt i answer when she sent the police over? i was baffled i didnt know what to say every thing that had been going on flashed before my eyes when she was asking me these things. i finally replied i didnt know i told her that i had not been filling to well so i had to call off , for a month she replied SHE YELLED LETS GO! YOURE GOING TO THE HOSPITAL!!i argued with her for bout a solid hour and finally conveinced her that ... Continue»
Posted by dblac2 6 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
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C.D.s Magic Love Skin Cream





CD’s Magic Love Skin Cream

By J. J. Scribe

No one could have guessed the truth about CD’s obsessive sex life. To
any casual observer—or even a curious one—he appeared to be a perfectly
normal man. He was a junior partner at his firm in Philadelphia, with a solid
financial future in front of him. Though he didn’t attend regularly,
he was a member of the First Methodist Church, a friendly face at
coffee hours and social events.

Though divorced for five years, he remained friends with his former
wife and was a loving father to his three c***dren, sharing them on
alternati... Continue»
Posted by jjscribe1 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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5 Tips to Keep Your Girl Happy

When a relationship fails, it leaves one wondering what went wrong in an absolutely perfect relationship. Some relationships aren’t able to stand the test of time due to the various differences between the couple.

These differences do not crop up within a single day and it takes various steps to lead a relationship to its breakdown. From a woman’s perspective, here are 5 tips which can help you guys make your relationship a better experience for your girl and yourself as well. As the saying goes, “Sometimes love just ain’t enough,” hence, we bring you certain tips that might help you fill t... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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