Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 101

A Sexy Romp Through Space-Time

I basically wrote this story just to see if I could pull it off. It is an unedited once over piece but it has gotten good feedback so I decided to post it and see what other people think.

OF WIZARDS AND STARSHIPS

A SEXY ROMP THROUGH SPACE-TIME


A cold and bitter wind blew through the darkened English countryside, carrying the promise of snowfall before morning. Across the land, Muggles and Wizards alike wisely chose to avoid the winter weather and instead found things to do indoors where it was safe and warm.
Despite being wrapped in numerous layers of defensive magical spells, ... Continue»
Posted by wraithe_13 6 months ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
325
  |  
75%

Fatdom Pt.1: My BBW bride.

People told me ahead of time, that we would probably be too d***k and too tired to fuck on our wedding night. I was actually ok with that, since we fucked all the time, in every way possible. She only wore white so the dress would match the pearls. So we just partied hard with no expectations. We had a great time. Everything went without a hitch, and after seeing off the last of our guests, we struggled upstairs to our hotel room.
Of course there is no way in hell I could've carried her over the threshold, she's easily about 350 lbs. and I'm a slim 140. We were laughing and joking about it, s... Continue»
Posted by badboy4320 5 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
627
  |  
75%

جلنار جردلي Jilnar Jardaly in Fuckland

Once upon a time, there was a very sexy and horny little slut called Jilnar Jardaly, who was having lots and lots of fun at her girlfriend's wedding day!

After the beautiful ceremony, the reception was well under way and Jilnar, was having such a lovely day! She'd already fucked nearly all the male guests, as well as several of the female ones. Best of all, she still had a few more hours left in the day to seduce the rest and add them to her enormous and ever-growing list of sexual conquests.

She decided to have a stroll in the beautiful garden to cool her perfectly delectable but achin... Continue»
Posted by JilnarJardalyLustCum 4 months ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
785
  |  
75%

Curse of the gypsy woman - part two

Introduction:
This is the continuing saga of Melissa, a woman who is redescovering her sexuality. Please read part one before you read this one. It will really be to your benefit.
Chapter two

“You seem to have outdone yourself with dinner today,” her husband complimented her as he put his fork through the salad and brought it to his mouth.

Melissa shuddered and felt a tingling between her legs as she watched parts of the cucumber disappear between his lips. If only he knew where that cucumber has been, she thought to herself and pictured how she only an hour ago had been sitting in fro... Continue»
Posted by qudduse 1 month ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
734
  |  
75%
  |  1

Lesley part24

"Thought you were on earlies this morning?.....how come you get such a long lie.....you shagging the boss or something? Hahaha" lesley jokingly asked Sylvia when she bumped into her at nearly one in the afternoon.

"Humph...not funny....anyway...I know who's shagging the boss" she replied with disdain.

"What's wound you up ya daft mare?"

"Guess...he's nearly thirty stone, bald, bearded, and has the charm of a Rottweiler.....and me tits are sore"

"McPeevie?.... Oh fuck...what's happened?"

"Missing notes....ring a bell?... Plus...er....some other things....I had to...er....um....... Continue»
Posted by Les1111 1 month ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
428
  |  
75%

Picking up a guy

“Ernst, do you like me?” She looked at him with her big blue eyes, her long eye lashes fluttering exaggeratedly.
“Of course. I think you’re great… and beautiful too.”
“But you’ve never made a pass at me?” she said with a hurt expression.
“Everybody thought you were unavailable,” he said.
“Yeah I guess that was true, but now I am… so… are you going to make a pass at me?”
He looked into her earnest blue eyes “Well in that case yes, but I left the instructions in my bag.”
She smiled. “I can save you the time… we can go to my home if you like? My parents are at work.”
“OK, I like that ide... Continue»
Posted by FredNerk 1 month ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
707
  |  
75%

Question for the men?

I have been talking with men, and, most men say 'They like to fuck a smelling foul pussy!' because, it give them pleasure during sex, and, like the smell of sex in the room, more like a workout.

My quesion is, What do you prefer, a smelling foul pussy? or, a pussy don't have no scent at all?


PS. If wondering about my pussy, my pussy don't have no scent.... Continue»
Posted by hotblackpussy42 5 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  
861
  |  
75%
  |  51

basketball tournament pt. 1

ok so my team makes it to a basketball tournament in humbotlt california, i think i was about 16 or 17 then. i never heard of that city before, but everyone was telling me its very boring, and old fashioned up there. there is nothing to do but smoke weed. i wasn't looking forward to it but i still wanted to win the whole tournament at all costs. when my team arrives to the the city, it was just how everyone said. the small town was so much in the woods there was only 1 hotel. since it was a 25 team tournament it was filled. so a lot of teams stayed with families that had the biggest house... Continue»
Posted by Spyda14 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
460
  |  
75%
  |  4

LITTLE JOHNNY......

A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!"
Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times. One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her. Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning:

"Ohh, I need a bike! Ahh, I need a bike!"

... Continue»
Posted by papa61 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
807
  |  
75%
  |  3

mrs fielding sees the snake

mrs fielding nearly fainted when she pulled down my jeans.she didnt believe me when i told her that i was huge.her face was a picture.all the emotions in a couple of seconds.suprise,delight,panic,bewilderment,amusement,lust.at one point i really thought she would faint.when she recovered her composure she began to stroke the length and girth with both hands.

now lets get one thing clear from the start---having a huge cock isnt all its cracked up to be.firstly women think its great to have a massive cock inside them but most cant fit it in.well mine hasnt been fully in one yet.its also diffi... Continue»
Posted by tonguehello 5 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
2223
  |  
75%
  |  2

Why I won't post pictures of my face here.

I wanted to give a blanket answer since I get so many requests for it. Look, guys, I love that everyone finds me attractive. Thank you all so much. I'll continue to post body shots but the reason I won't show my face is the same reason I can't post any video of me doing anything (damn it!). See, I know my dad has an account here. When I went home for Christmas last year I was fooling around in his office (looking for cigars actually) and I started checking out his computer. You know, being a snoop. Well, I saw this site in his history. I even clicked on his profile. I w... Continue»
Posted by fuckablebitch 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
1637
  |  
75%
  |  10

Blow Job Etiquette (By A Woman)

1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
2. Extension to rule #1- So if you get one, be grateful.
3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw; it is not standard practice to cum on someone's face.
4. Extension to rule #3- No I DON'T have to swallow.
5. My ears are NOT handles.
6. Extension to rule#5- do not push on the top of my head, do you really WANT
puke on your dick?
7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get' it is NEVER OK to fart.
8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get it through your head- I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don... Continue»
Posted by Jim-Nice-But-Dim 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
2167
  |  
75%
  |  9

Mother's Day Weekend Part One {True Story}

It was around 11:00pm on May 10th 2012; also known as the kick-off of a all-time fantasy.

I was on Facebook and I recently got a message from a older friend of mine.
Her name was Mary(Not Using Real Names)and she said "Hey long time no talk." I replied saying
"Yeah I know right, what are you up to." "Not a damn thing," she said "I saw you were online and
wanted to see how have you been." At this point I had visions of her and her ass all of sudden.
I quickly had to adjust myself as my pants were becoming tighter. The conversation went on for about three hours, but within those three ho... Continue»
Posted by 2Raw4u 10 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
4657
  |  
75%
  |  2

MORE??????

Her name was Meredith. She was as plump as a little partridge. Thick muscular legs, toned. Her ass defied gravity.

We would get together in my room and play guitar and sing songs. We would do Cash and Carter's "Jackson". We were pretty good too. She could harmonize well.

One night we were at a bar here in Down Town. She sat in the stool next to me. She wore a short skirt. She had soft blond hair on her thighs, very light, barely visible.

Her tits were small and pert. She had big gorgeous brown eyes. And behind her pouting lips were a set of big white teeth, the top row of which protru... Continue»
Posted by slanderhamster 1 year ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
4893
  |  
74%
  |  2

sun tan

so your laying down on the beach, letting the sun burn your back you silly girl
suddenly you feel the cold drip of lotion on your back , quickly followed by warm hands massaging into your shoulders and down your back
you hear a voice saying"don"t look round", you decide not to as the rubbing feels so good and you needed lotion on your back anyway
the hands move slowly up and down your back, the fingers every now and then brushing against your breasts as you lay on your front, the hands slowly move lower on your back until they reach the top of your bum,
they slide beneath yo... Continue»
Posted by naughty66 5 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
768
  |  
74%
  |  1

subprize !!!!!!!!

A BIG SUBPRIZE FOR US

here is a store for you and you all, all ways have a great day...

mmmmmm OH Honey, you make my dick so hard just thing of kissing your beautiful lips with our tongues which are touching and mangling together like to lovers all wrapped together with our hands, arms, legs holding and rubbing each others naked bodies. We are as one person, a body of warm heated love mass. When all in a split secant my dog jumps up on to our bed. He pushes his noise in between our bodes, touch our breast and nipples, rubbing your hard nipples between my fing... Continue»
Posted by diggersam 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
1142
  |  
74%

my hot wife was the boss

THIS STORY IS FICTION ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO AFFEND ANY PERSON SO PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASY AFFENDED THANKS.

Hi my name is Tim Carter and my wife is Cathy Part of my job entails entertaining clients and potential new clients and sometimes their wives, husbands or girlfriends come along too. On such occasions Cathy my wife of five years will often come with me. She is excellent company and very good with the clients and their partners and just happens to look great too. Cathy loves socializing and thoroughly enjoys these nights out, especially if it entails eating out in one of... Continue»
Posted by bobbyblue53 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
2119
  |  
74%
  |  1

THE TRUTH ABOUTEATING PUSSY LADIES

I had to write this because men get a bad rap that we dont eat enough pussy so i had to break it down so that it was forever and correctly BROKE. Men love eating pussy ive seen men in strip clubs eating stripper pussy (nasty). First lets talk about the pussy. It is nasty as hell and you should that the heavens men even want to put their mouth down there. Yall pee thru it fuck with it men cum (big loads) inside of it, Babies come out of it, discharges, yeast infections, bladder infections, yall bleed stinky bl**d for a week an get mad at who wont eat it? Then some of yall dont know how to ke... Continue»
Posted by swat_tx 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
664
  |  
74%
  |  3

'Hump a Tree', A Girls Diary Memories

We all sat around as Kimberly carved away on the tree. We were all in our early teens, a group of girls lost in a hormonal wilderness, neither here nor there, just fantasying about sex, or our concepts and ideas about what sex was all about, and about cocks, we always talked about cocks, and we giggled, and vacillated from thin to thick, long to short, but always having our own personal craving.
Someone screamed, 'OMG Kim', and there was another scream and laughter. I went across to see what all the commotion was about, and what confronted me brought a smile to my face.
Kim, shortened from K... Continue»
Posted by MarieL 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
1372
  |  
74%
  |  6

me and my p e e teacher

I regularly went to college and I also used to go to tuitions … I used to go to maths tuition and the teachers name was maria …. She was a christian and the most beautiful lady I’ve ever seen and I was one of her favorite students …. She took tuitions in one rented room …. The timings differed and some times I even went to her house to clear some doubts and she lived with her mother who was really old …. We called her ms maria ,she was 27 years old and was divorced….and her height was 5ft 6 and she was fair like a rabbit and she had silky hair …. During classes many students used to comment be... Continue»
Posted by ajbasu 6 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
3863
  |  
74%