Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 101

DIRTY JOKE

A MOTHER AND SON WAS WALK DOWN THE ROAD THE MOTHER SAW A SEX HOUSE SHE TURNED TO HER SON AND SAID DON'T U EVER GO IN THERE. HE GOES OK MOM. ONE DAY JUST WALKING HOME AND HE CAME PASS THE SEX HOUSE THIS SMOKING HOT BLONDE SAYS DO U WANNA COME IN HE SAYS I CAN'T I CAN'T MY MAM SAYS SHE GOES I WONT TELL. HE GOES ALRIGHT THEN SO HE GOES IN. SHE SAYS DO U WANT TO GO UP STAIRS HE SAYS I CAN'T I CAN'T MY MAM SAYS. SHE SAYS I WONT TELL. SO HE SAYS ALRIGHT. SO THEY GO UP AND THE SAYS TO WANNA HAVE SEX HE SAYS I CAN'T I AN'T MY MAM SAYS SHE SAYS I WONT SAY. SO THEY DID. WHEN THEY DONE SHE SAYS U CAN TAK... Continue»
Posted by LORDLONE 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Finger Fuck Date

I decided to post a story for the first time and naturally i'll start with one of my best stories! It was during my period at the university - in 2004! I didn't went home to visit my parents in the weekend and the city was laim those days! At night i was home with my friends and when i was out of liquor i went to a near b y café! I went there on a regular basis and knew everyone there! When i got there that night there were only the local d***k guys in their 50's at the bar, but there was a chubby student with great awesome tits pretty face and lips that could slurp a big black cock easily! I... Continue»
Posted by suspect9 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Why you should always check.

True story.

For a while, I was sort of seeing this college girl, we'll call her Ashley. I say "sort of" because we weren't really exclusive, and we didn't really get together for much other than sex and the occasional lunch.

It was great for a while, the first few weeks were amazing. Some of the best blowjobs I'd ever had, and she was always wanting to try new things. She could do some of the most amazing things with her tongue and I wondered where she learned them, but was afraid that she'd come up with some astronomical amount of men she'd slept ... Continue»
Posted by SinSeeker 5 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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First time I saw a penis

When I was in seventh grade, a f****y moved in next door. Their son was one grade ahead of me. We lived in a rural place where there were not a lot of people around. I didn't have any b*****rs or s****rs, and he didn't either, so we became best friends.

One summer day, Tommy called me because he was home alone. His parents had to take a trip to a place 100 miles away. It was for grown-up business and he would have been bored so he did not go. He asked me to come over. So I did.

We talked for awhile, and then he asked me if I could keep a secret. I said yes, and he told me that he had a s... Continue»
Posted by kbking70 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Anastasia

Saturday morning and my phone rings. I look over to see who it was and it’s my s****r Quisha most likely wanting me to do something. Last week it was fix her pipes, the week before that fix the TV, not to mention she had her fine ass friend Alexandria over. But she couldn’t fix her lips to help me out and put in a word with her. I, Ramon, the helpful big b*****r was to the rescue. This time I said to myself that I wasn’t about to do shit. I let the call go to voicemail the first time. Then her worrisome ass had the audacity to call again. My guess is that she wasn’t gonna let me sl**p until I ... Continue»
Posted by bigshack 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Must Read

The Sheriff in a small town walks out in the street and sees a blonde cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun, and his boots, so he arrests him for indecent exposure.
As he is locking him up, he asks "Why in the world are you dressed like this?
The Cowboy says, "Well it's like this Sheriff .. I was in the bar down the road and this pretty little red head asks me to go out to her motor home with her. So I did.
We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt ... so I did.
Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off m... Continue»
Posted by cocoabutter 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Closing Time with Jessica

[Fiction/Fantasy]

First Try at writing an actual story Sorry if it sucks

I looked at the clock. 12:59. YES! Then I pull my phone out of my back pocket to confirm. 12:59. Hell fucking yes! Then I turn behind me to the timer/official clock. 12:59:35 25 Seconds till we close and are finally allowed to resume all the closing shit we have to do. It's been a fucking crazy Friday Night, with more cars rolling through than normal.


*Bonnnnnnnnnggggggguh*


NO MOTHER FUCKING WAY! I look at my manager, Jessica and my face must have said "Please let me tell this car we closed". She ... Continue»
Posted by BigJ0526 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo, Voyeur  |  
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THE ADVENTURES OF RANGER RICK

There was a gentle wind blowing off the lake. From where he
stood in the ranger's station, Rick Breyer could see the
tips of a thousand Douglas firs bending with the breeze.
The treetops rolled like a dark green ocean. Rick poured
himself a cup of coffee and picked up his binoculars.
Taking a sip, he put the high-powered lenses to his eyes
and scanned the woods. Midmorning is a good time of the day
for a forest ranger, there's nothing much to do, the coffee
is fresh and the world looks perfect. His gaze meandered past
the trees, over the bluffs and across the lake. He focused in
on a... Continue»
Posted by meatloaf90 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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My second one.. This was with my social..mam

I already shared with u guys my expirience with my science..mam and this s with my social mam.. I liked her..very much...
She s in her 40s .married but din have a c***d :( :)... but truth s that she s dam sexy...i always daydream at her..and result is fail in my exams.. So i get a chance to attend her remedials..around 10 students accompany me in her..class.. Oh i forget to say her character ,she s very strict ..she use to debate for all the topic.. So i know if i could get her in a sexy argument then i can win her.. .. I was waitin for a rite day..i said all my friends that lets bunk the re... Continue»
Posted by Michaelzoron 5 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Secret Affair

There must be something about me that causes me to be abnormally horny all the time. I don't know what it is but just smelling or being close to any woman can give me a woody the size of Texas. I just love women!! The way they walk, with their cute little shakes, and wiggles drives me wild. Too bad the feeling isn't mutual most women are uninterested in me. Although I consider myself to be handsome and outgoing, most women find me arrogant, and pompous.

Jenna is my steady girlfriend and I try very hard to stay faithful to her. Of course the task would really be a challenge, if another ... Continue»
Posted by rime923091 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Monsoon Masti With Bank Loan Girl


I'm clear about one thing – I belive in love, but even sex is important. And variety in sex is good! I've been fantasizing about sex since my teenage. And its gotten stronger with age! I've had good time with my maid, some aunties, and girls in bangalore. When I was in college, I used to take “tips" from seniors on how to go about these things. I wish we had more stories like desitales then for the lessons!! Anyway, let me tell you about one incident that happened just before my marriage. I used to think about having sex as many times as possible before marriage. One day in office, I got ca... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Rising with the Dawn

I walked along Watauga Avenue, my bare feet chilled by the damp concrete. Tonya was in Virginia, visiting her mother and I had gotten bored sitting at home alone. It was a rainy, foggy Monday night and there was very little traffic, so I had decided to take a long walk, naked. The only time I’d had to be careful of being spotted was at Church Circle as I left Sullivan Street. For safety’s sake, I had walked around Charlemont Avenue so I could pass behind the churches and bright floodlights.
Passing Linville Street, I started really looking at the big houses that lined Watauga. Most of them we... Continue»
Posted by voivodevlad 4 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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HOME SCHOOLED

Hey Cutie,

I was installing a new shower head in the front bathroom
the other day when I had a rather interesting daydream.
In it, I saw us as a couple who'd recently moved in together.
I worked and you attended classes at a local college.

I came home early one day to find you weren't at school
as scheduled. Our place was a mess and it was obvious
you'd been sitting around snacking and watching television.
I found you in the bathroom, casually taking a shower.
I slid open the door, shut off the water and hauled you,
by the wrist, into the living room as I scolded y... Continue»
Posted by meatloaf90 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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MY TRIP TO THAILAND...

I met Layla on my holiday in Thailand. She was at my hotel bar. We danced a while at first. We were kissing a lot. She had long dark hair at nice looking boobs. I got her up to my room though later and she obviously had sex on her mind too as she touched my hard on a few times on the way to my room. We got into my room and got drinks and on returning with them she said “let’s get comfortable” and took off her white boob tube type top, releasing her gorgeous boobs. She then proceeded to undo my fly and release my already stiff cock. Layla then teased and sucked my cock beautifully almost to bur... Continue»
Posted by london_lad 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  
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Too Tired to Fuck

One time while my wife was pregnant we had just climbed into bed. She was tired but also felt like sex. She wanted sl**p more than sex though and practically passed out in a minute. She sl**ps in only her panties, so I started gently groping her breasts and lightly squeezing her nipples. Her nipples got hard and she sighed a few times. She didn't wake up at all so I kept going until her nipples started leaking milk. That always made her body want more. It made me want more, too. She was on her side and u*********sly rolled to her back and spread her legs as if it was instinct. I had been hard ... Continue»
Posted by gorkamorka 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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The Business Trip & My Revenge

This is based on true story from a couple of years back. I was seeing a colleague from another office based in Leeds; I was based in London. We saw each as often as possible, we met working on the same project. A fact-finding trip to Scotland was ordered by my boss and she was down to come too with her boss. We joked about sneeking around behind their backs having wild sex then sitting with them at dinner as if everything was normal and business like.

The week before the trip, she asked her boss again about going and was declined. I was gutted. She said she would send a replacement colleagu... Continue»
Posted by Master2Lilyxxx 6 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Planning my Punishment - A Conversation with my Ma

I was talking with my Dom, earlier today and we were reminiscing about the indiscretions I had while I was married. Its not like it didn't happen once or twice, it occurred multiple times and in different ways with each time getting more brazen. He couldn't believe that my husband did not have the balls to punish a relentless little slut like me and put me in my place. Especially since he wanted to remain married to me. Yet he never set me on a path where I would forget cheating, cybersex, phone sex, webcamming or have any sexual contact with another man (or woman) without his explicit consent... Continue»
Posted by Kinkster-Gal 5 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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School Girl Bullies pt. 2


I awoke to the annoying loud sound of my alarm going off.

I turned it off and laid in my bed for a few moments contemplating the day ahead. It suddenly dawned on me that I'm very likely to run into those cruel girls from yesterday again, and a big grin crept across my face.

I jumped out of bed, bounced around getting dressed putting on my silly uniform, ran down the hall to the bathroom, brushed my teeth and combed my messy bedhead hair.

"Have a nice day!" I cheerily told my reflection in the mirror, and hopped off down the stairs and rushed out the door. I was so excited, for the f... Continue»
Posted by azid619 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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The Bully Part 2

The idea of Soul Mates started with Greek Philosopher Plato. He proposed that long ago Humans were giants with two heads, four arms and four legs. But Zeus King of the Gods feared their power and split everyone apart. It is that drive to complete ourselves that fuels the search for the Soul Mate.

I was never one to believe in such nonsense, then I met Erin. There was just something about her that resonated with me. Where most people could see her tough angry shell I saw the scared and vulnerable girl within.

And so it was that a Month later I announced my epic plan.

"I'm gonna make... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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OAP Oral sex

Two old age pensioners are enjoying oral sex together... but after a few minutes, the old guy says, "I can't stay down here much longer, it stinks!"

The old lady says, " I'm sorry, it's my arthritis playing up again."

The old guy replies, " You've got arthritis in your cunt?"

"No" says the old lady, "the arthritis is in my arm, it means I can't wipe my arse!"... Continue»
Posted by sjroche1509 6 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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