Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 101

Me and My Bestfriend Jake

This is not actually mine my friend told me it was hers and she said if I can post it here.

My friend and as a lover:


It was one Friday morning, when Jake texted me about going out for some breakfast and have a little friendly talk. He said "Hey Maddy I want to tell you something about your boyfriend Nick". I was so curious about how he said he wants to tell me something about my bf. So I replied "sure there's no big deal about that I guess..." so i sat down the bench waiting for Jake to pick me up after talking to Nick for about five minutes Jake arrived and let me in his car. Jake ... Continue»
Posted by dianneforbes16 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Han Valen Production office stow aways

Another show, another rigging call. The glamorous life of a big rock show usually begins at 6 AM in the morning putting the rigging in place that holds those massive sound and lighting systems in the air.

This day was starting out like any other. I got to the Arena around 5:15 AM so I could let in the caterers and stagehands. I got the guard to open to door and he went back on his cart to his office. I grabbed my briefcase and headed to the production office. When I got there I opened the door and there was a young girl sitting the desk. She kind of startled me. I asked if I could h... Continue»
Posted by kdrummer 3 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Lovemaking...


Frenchman, an Italian and an American were discussing love-making.

"Last night I made love to my wife three times" boasted the
Frenchman. "She was in sheer ecstasy this morning..."

"Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the Italian
responded, "and this morning she made me a wonderful omelette
and told me she could never love another man."

When the American remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked,
"And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?"

"Once." he replied.

"Only once?" the Italian arrogantly snorted. "And what did she
say to you ... Continue»
Posted by papa61 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Playing Along

In my defense… all this was only supposed to be just a harmless little prank and I really didn’t intend on things going as far as they did but… look, first let me explain what happened and you tell me if I was wrong.

I’m Ethan, a few years ago when I was 19 I was invited by my friend Kamario also 19 at the time, to spend the holiday weekend with him and his f****y at their home, it nothing fancy or over the top it was just a three day weekend in a small town in North East California with my friend and his f****y. Kamario and I arrived at his f****y house early Friday afternoon; his mother g... Continue»
Posted by Rust1 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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An Easter Tale

An Easter Tale for Sariboo

Something to think about when the sermon goes too long this Sunday

Sari is a friend of my daughters, and since she moved to my area at some distance from her home, and my former home, I have tried to help her to adjust to being on her own. I helped her find an apartment, move in, a trip to Ikea to get furniture (and much assembly required), a search for just the right pots and pans; well you get the picture. And once or twice a week I take her to lunch or dinner. I try and find places that a twenty something would like.

We have become qui... Continue»
Posted by windsorkeith 5 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Married Couple Jump Start Sex Life

I'm a average 40 year old married man for the last 15 years. Like often the case are sex life was going doll. Rachel & I have had sex all kinds of way's. We've done the latex& leather fetish, sexy lingerie&heels, whips&handcuffs, every position imaginable. But in the last year we barley had sex at all. We still loved each other but sex had become doll.

The fall of 2010 I started a new season of pickup hockey. Every Saturday morning I go to the local rink and play some ice hockey. So my first Saturday I noticed my new team mate, Jeff. He sat on the bench just across from me in the changing r... Continue»
Posted by primo38 4 years ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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The Substitute

I was three years out of highschool and between jobs. A guy I went to school with got a job as a substitute teacher in a school a few towns over and told me they were looking for subs to replace recently dismissed faculty. It didn't take long to get my teaching certificate, I was already qualified thanks to a bachelors degree in American History. When I myself was in Highschool I was by no means popular. I had braces and acne and weighed 250 pounds. After I graduated I decided to get healthy, by dieting and hitting the gym regularly I lost a hundred pounds of body fat and gained 25 pounds of m... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 4 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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First Time

FIRST TIME

I couldn’t believe I said yes to this and I actually went through with it. I laid naked on the bed, covering my breasts with one hand and the other covering my pussy. He wasn’t a bad looking guy but I couldn’t bring myself to having sex with someone else, I’ve only had my husband in me and I was afraid. “Is this your first time?” he asks caressing my right hand which is over my breasts. I shook my head up and down “well don’t worry honey, we don’t have to if you don’t want to” those words made me feel a bit more at ease, he gently remove my right hand above my breasts and place i... Continue»
Posted by dlbiblkm 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Fucked My Innocent Radha Bhabhi

I went into a sexual relationship with my mother like innocent Bhabhi, Radha. We are two b*****rs Murli and I and I was younger and around 18 years old my b*****r Murli was married to Radha Bhabhi. She was hot and sexy female from Pune. She was homely but no one would stop staring at her beautiful body.

She had huge busty boobs and lean waist and bulgy round ass. She was tall enough and also had long black hair. She was very down to earth and innocent and her face was so cute and also sexy. She was so beautiful when she smiled. My b*****r and Radha Bhabhi were living in Mumbai and me and m... Continue»
Posted by harryhunk 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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My quickest cum ever! True and Embarassing Story

So here I am again telling you another True Story of myself. I was talking to a friend of mine and of course the subject turned to sex. We started to share horror/funny stories and I thought, why not write another story for xhamster! So here is a quick little embarassing story from my past...

So I met the hot chocolate number form Trinidad. Her body was perfect. I mean porn star perfect. She had a boob job that you only knew about cuz she told you. She had the stereo typical black girl ass where it is full, thick, and round. Her face reminded me of an early Stacey Dash ( black girl ... Continue»
Posted by ffjester 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Cream with your coffee?

My job is utterly boring. I am only doing it for a six month contract, but already I am bored shitless....until, that is the "Elf N Safety" brigade insisted that my department ordered new chairs. Not that there is anything wrong with the old ones, but hey, it's a brave new world, right?

So the new chairs arrived with a really odd looking set of wheels and spokes. I liked my old chair and soon discovered these new ones would only fit one way around. The old ones had regularly shaped spokes that I would put my feet on. These ones had two really widely spaced ones at the front and three around... Continue»
Posted by MrSuspiria 5 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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The Cross Dresser and The Big Fat Fuck

As soon as the door closed to her place Debbie started squeezing me tight. Before I knew it I was the one with my dress around my ankles. Soon I was being pulled down the hall to Debbie's bedroom. While I sat on her bed, Debbie went in her bathroom to freshen up.

When she came out she was wearing a sexy red night gown. If it weren't for the fact it was a size 6X you might have thought Debbie bought the thing at Victoria's Secret.

********************************************************************************

Debbie was one big fat fuck of a woman. I used to sa... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 6 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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A YOUNG SOLACE

b*****r of my late grandfather had a house at the seaside. I’ve bee spending free summer vacations there since I was k**. He and his wife were retired and had a nice house in a quiet neighborhood of the town. I would spend whole day at he beach, hanging with local k**s and exploring the nature and landscapes.
I was having another beautiful month of a summer holydays there. Unfortunately, my grandmother (wife of my grandfather’s b*****r; I called them ’grandpa’ and ’grandma’) started to have a hard time with her rheumatism and arthritis, so her daughter found her a parlormaid. The maid was ki... Continue»
Posted by JohnDough11111 2 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Sex With A Widow Mature Lady Whom I Met In An Func



Hi friends am a great fan of the sex stories, after a lot of courage this is my first sex story which was encountered with and am still enjoying with that sweet lady.

Let me quick jump into the story. Well am Raj (name changed) and am 31 years old married with good body, 6’1 height with 75 kg weight well built.

The story begins like this, I had been to a function with my parents there I met a lady she must be around 45 but I must say she does not like she is her 40’s she looked like she is 30yrs old, I was drinking juice
... Continue»
Posted by bava12 1 year ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Getting to Know Me

When i was 15 i was going through the womanly changes in life that all of my friends have gone through. I was the only one with the tits of a 12 year old and who has yet to get their period. (i know its odd but still) I wanted to belong it was like a club that i NEEDED to be a memeber of. Late one fall evening i came home from school with an itch that needed to be sctratched.

I waited until my parents were asl**p. I lay in my bedroom and get into my bed, still horny my fingers did their walking down my left thigh and my right snaked its way up the right. All i did ... Continue»
Posted by SweetLipz 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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In Flight Fuck

"If you're the kind of guy I think you are," he said. "Then I
know you'll accept this token of my gratitude."

"A simple handshake would suffice," I joked, as Tommy pulled down
my pants. My cock was rapidly rising to the occasion.

*********************************************************
It was a good thing I was awake. The plane was about to land and the flight
attendants were checking everyone. After all my crazy dreams if one of them
had nudged me while I was sl**ping I know I would have screamed like a little
girl.

When I glanced to... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 6 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  
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Being a Dad.

I was a very shy adult, my cock was unused apart from the very rare wank when I would dream of fucking a black lady called Elsie.
She lived 2 houses away from my house, she was probably in her 40's, her husband had fucked off years ago, he was your typical nigger, smoked Ganga, didn't wash much, didn't know the meaning of work, basically he was a black twat.

Elsie lived on her own, she never had k**s but she was a hard working woman and clever. She had a masters degree in biology and taught at the local tech college. She is a tall lady maybe 6 ft 2ins, she is as black as you can get but wo... Continue»
Posted by Arryboy 2 years ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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was it a dream

Years ago as a young apprentice I was coming home from night school on a mid winter night. I used to catch the last train at night which was never busy as it stopped at the end of the line for the night ready for the first morning train. As I stayed not far from the terminus station it was nice to relax knowing that I wouldn’t miss my stop. There was only two other passengers waiting on the platform. One was a middle aged man and the other was an elder lady of about sixty. The train slid into the station with a familiar his of steam which billowed out over the platform hiding every one b... Continue»
Posted by trickydicky111 6 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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a night with morning glory


I was at home on vacation and i lived 2 weeks with a girl I fucked.

My ex girlfriend lives just a few miles in the next village.
She saw due to facebook that I was in town.
So she contacted me in order a meet me.

I never expected that she is gonna contact me as she broke up with me and I made me really ridicilous afterwards.
However, I was all excited but then she became sick over christmas and we did not meet up

Anyway, I still fucked the hot 21 year old hottie where I lived while I was in my hometown. So it was not too bad.

But after a few days, the last day ... Continue»
Posted by Padde84 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Right hand, left lane

Right hand, left lane

A little poem of love for
a teen driving dangerously


Right hand driving
Fast, hence left lane
On the road again
From West to East
From Left to Right
And back again
High speed, I know

Your little secret

It´s the hole in your pocket.
I know you did it on purpose.
Irish red-head swinging to the East.
Singing a song of love and longing.

Who are you? Old enough to drive?
A sexy hole in your pocket.
So you can drive very fast?

Your button of love

I know your dirty little secret.
You press your special button
All th... Continue»
Posted by petdyke 5 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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