Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 101

Frustration Contact. (Short Story) Also seen on L

The queue, waiting for the first lift is large, but my eyes focus happily on the blonde hair of a woman ahead of me, rather than the floor indicator above each lift. I love women like her, slim, mature, maybe even over fifty, dressed in a suit, shiny hair in a bob style, elegant and feminine.

I am going into the same lift as her, just so that I may gaze discretely at her and enjoy her good looks. My head thrills at the possibility that she has a thin blouse and underneath, a Camisole top. Utterly divine!

The right hand lift arrives and a mass of people shuffle sideways to get it, but ... Continue»
Posted by matureworship 1 year ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 697  |  
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A VERY Painful Trip to See Mistress V - Memoir

A few months after I consensually ‘****d’ Sharon in the kitchen (see my previous story) the relationship was over and all it remained was for the bungalow to be sold so that we could go our separate ways…

In the meantime I had bought a subscription to Axis which was basically a contact mag for those into Fetish and BDSM. I had also placed a personal advertisement in there which was answered by a ‘Mistress V’ who was seeking a long term sub/slave. After an exchange of phone calls she asked me to travel up and meet her for a chat. This is my recollection of the day…

*

Friday 5th ... Continue»
Posted by Kinky_Mushroom 8 months ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1156  |  
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me nd my mom

Hai frnds i am suresh. Age 15. I am a studant. Ithu 2011 varudathil nadantha unmai kathai. My f****y dad, mom and me. En appa contractions manager. Amma janaki age 36. 5' tall. Size 34 32 38. Nala sivapu niram. Amma Ladies club member. Appa companyki unmaia work panraru. So epavum busy. Engalidam ore oru car than irunthathu. Athai appa use seithar. Appa epothum vetileye irukamatar. Mor 8am ponal nt 11pm than vetirku varuvar. Athanal ammavirku velie poga siramaka irunthathu. Athanal appa puthithaka car onru vankinar. Ammavirku car ota theriathathal driver oruvarai velaiki serthar. Avar peyar ra... Continue»
Posted by basuajay 6 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 814  |  
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Momma's Home Cooking.

Conversation had been awkward to say the least, so when the laxatives kicked in, I , for one, was relieved. We were in the midst of talking about my wedding when a sudden gush of diarrhoea broke the tension. Immediately, my mother began to scoop it up and drink it like chocolate from a fountain. She rubbed it into her boobs and gargled it, sicked it up onto the floor and then began to poop herself. Hers came out in long, sausage-like logs. She threw one at me and we both laughed and rolled around on the floor.

The bouts of diarrhoea and poops continued for about half and hour, and during t... Continue»
Posted by GageGreen 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 978  |  
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"Advice For Young Girlfriends"

Q: How do I know if I'm ready for sex?
A: Ask your boyfriend. He'll know when the time is right. When it comes to love and sex, men are much more responsible, since they're not as emotionally confused as women. It's a proven fact.

Q: Should I have sex on the first date?
A: YES. Before if possible.

Q: What exactly happens during the act of sex?
A: Again, this is entirely up to the man. The important thing to remember is that you must do whatever he tells you without question. Sometimes, however, he may ask you to do certain things that may at first seem strange to you. Do them anyway.
... Continue»
Posted by Jim-Nice-But-Dim 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 2240  |  
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Neighbors Daughter

It was about three in the afternoon when my doorbell rang yesterday, I looked through the peephole, it was our neighbors daughter, I truly was in no mood for company so I left her outside, she rang again and again, AND again I finally came out and answered the door.
“Hello Mr. Andrew, sorry for…”
“What’s wrong Dia?” I asked angrily, my first day off in f-g weeks and here I am being disturbed.
“I forgot my keys at home and I wanted to know if I could stay here until my mom gets home from work”
“my wife is not home right now Dia, I can’t sit around looking after you” I answered, she norma... Continue»
Posted by dlbiblkm 5 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 6883  |  
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Shower Her With Something

Recently I made an unexpected big splash in our new neighborhood. We just moved to a new home the end of this past week. The home was a former model home and it was the largest of the three model homes in a model center that was sold off and the previous office. So, naturally the home has all the bells and whistles. Well, that is except one thing... they disarmed the alarm system when we closed on the house. I noticed this when we were opening and closing the door constantly moving furniture in the front door. I wasn’t hearing the high pitched “beep” I used to hear when we first viewed the hou... Continue»
Posted by bigsoftee 1 year ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 775  |  
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The Talk (Fifth stab at humor in sex)

Man talks to his eleven-year-old son about sex...fifth stab at humor...

The Talk (Fifth stab at humor in sex)

Hello everyone. I know I talked about my ex-wife and mentioned my daughter briefly, but I never mentioned my son. His name is Mike. I just had to bring him up since this being a sex theme site, I was reminded of a talk we had some years ago. You know the talk. Oh yes, that talk. I can't recall how it went exactly, but I think it went something like this.

I was sitting around the kitchen table with my wife Kim. I had a bourbon in front of me and I was looking for... Continue»
Posted by Exakta66 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 152  |  
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me and wife never knew my mate was bisexual

me and ann had been married at the age of 18 and where now both 32 and we had experimented and loved to set up scenarios with people we knew and had fantasised off fucking
this night we had been clubbing and invited two couples and a girl we knew back to ours outside i met an old workmate and his mate and he asked if they could come back ann said yes wispering to me my mate allan was sexy even though he was about fifty i told her he had been to a swingers club liz fell out with john and he vanished as liz said he was probably away with some tart as i said to her never as she was so sexy she ... Continue»
Posted by hornyashell07 6 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo, Hardcore  |  Views: 3067  |  
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Wet Hard Kiss

Oh bl**dy hell she thought as the bus pulled away...I hate living in the fucking country! Now I’ve got half an hour to wait until the next one and......Fuck it! It’s starting to rain....

She’d been out with her mates and though she’d enjoyed it, it was sitting in a freezing,wet bus shelter that made her wonder if she’d not have been better staying in tonight.....Ah well.

It happened so quickly that she barely had time to panic.A young man with hood over head came galloping through the rain and almost knocked her down as he crashed into the shelter.

He threw back his hood and shook dr... Continue»
Posted by fmac 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 312  |  
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The Pacifier


It's an amateur CGI film, running time 39 minutes. It has everything---Story, sex, emotion. The uploader, thesandman01, clearly put countless hours of work into it.
I dedicate this post to him. What follows is an adaption of his movie in a prose format. I have kept it as faithful to his film as possible, although I have condensed several scenes for editorial reasons.

"Just ten months ago, my life was in shatters."
Overly indulgent and depressing music playing, fade-out to dresser with shattered... Continue»
Posted by Haseo89 1 year ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 478  |  
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VULGAR LANGAUGE

see the thing about me is im an outgoing type of guy .I like to experince new things every now and again just like any average guy or woman for that fact.So when i tell you about this story there will be vulgar language it started when i was about 23 i had met this freak by the name of bianca she was slick wit it in the bed she liked things like sex in the kitchen, anal in the bathtub , dick sucking in public like parks or in vacant lots, true freak.Although i enjoyed her presents it was just that she did very irrtating shit (things i will not go into) but let me tell youthis every body has th... Continue»
Posted by dblac2 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 995  |  
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Terrible Headaches..!!!

Two old guys were sitting in the park, talking, when the subject
turned to getting older. The first guy said "Women have all the luck
when it comes to getting older."
"What do you mean?" asked the second guy.
"Well," replied the first. "I can barely remember the last time I got
aroused in bed, but my wife is healthier than ever!"
"Healthier? How is that?" his buddy wondered.
"Years ago, when we were younger, almost every night before bed she'd
get these terrible headaches." he answered. "Now that we're older, she
hasn't had a headache in years."

... Continue»
Posted by papa61 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 229  |  
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Karma: an erotic look into cosmic payback

Today I rode to the local medical marijuana dispensary on my bike. Let me rephrase, my bicycle. I have a car, but have much enjoyed the physical advantages to riding in reasonable distance on a bike. About five miles out, two in, I encountered a silver SUV stalled out in the right lane of a busy street I was biking through. Naturally I stopped because I am a good person, and I know the detrimental exchange of the bystander effect ( When there are more people around, a single person is less likely to help due to the idea that someone else will help out.) I hoped off my bike, asked... Continue»
Posted by jungles 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 191  |  
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My sph fetish comes true!!!

Another story I found and loved...


After a yr of being with my wife I confessed to her about my sph, she actually took to it very well and was glad I brought it up as she has always thought it was tiny and didn't know how to tell me, we often talk about it and situations where I would be stood naked in front of a bunch of her friends with them all pointing and laughing at my small cock on one of her girly nights, we would try and plan a night where that would happen but always chicken out. I also wanted her to tell her friends and female relatives but she was too embarrassed about being w... Continue»
Posted by ilovemysmallcock 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 119  |  
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I Demand A Do Over!

This is the story about how I lost my virginity. Some of my f****y live in small towns and we i go to visit them, we party (btw, this story is one the main reasons i don't drink anymore). Here I am, enjoying myself, and then all of a sudden, Bam! There she was. She was hot and to be honest, I didn't think I had a change with her. However, with the help of my cousin, I meet her(totally forgot her name). So, were talking and all off a sudden she wanted to dance. In the middle of the 3rd slow jam, I seemed to have "poked" her. Next thing I know, were upstairs. I remember kissing, and getting suck... Continue»
Posted by JFry 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 674  |  
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Birthday Girl

It is the nicest day of the summer and I am stuck inside a shopping mall looking for a birthday gift for my girlfriend. After wandering around aimlessly for an hour, I make a full circle back to the cosmetic section. It is more than obvious that I am out of my element. The customer-service people threw me a glance as they were all carried together in conversation. Their faces wore badges of disgust with a thought bubble that didn't include any characters in the customer-service manual.

The best gift for my best girl did not come flying off of the shelf. I needed to get creative. I take a lo... Continue»
Posted by thump22 2 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 493  |  
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Walking Dead Sex

There are no words between you and Beth. She is still on top of you and you are staring into each other's eyes. You want this moment never to end, but Maggie will not let that happen.
"Ok Beth, get off that pig and let's get you cleaned up." Beth looks at Maggie then back at you.
"That's right... You are a pig." Beth says as she reaches down and playfully tweaks your nipple. Then she bends over and gives you one more kiss. Then she goes upstairs with Maggie and the girls and leaves you alone.
As you get off the table you forgot how sore your ass is but even that couldn't stop you from sm... Continue»
Posted by drew1207 12 days ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 466  |  
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I Am A Boy Why Cant I Wear Dresses Like My s****r

Watching My s****r With Her Boyfriend In The Livingroom...
When I was young around 8 or so. I began to notice the difference between me and my four older s****rs. They all have wonderful cloths, I had dull drab cloths. I had come across a "Sears Catalog" and hid behind a chair in the living room. As I was just engrossed in all the fine women's under things and wonderful dresses, my next oldest s****r (4 years older) looked over the chair top! I didn't see for sometime until she made a noise. I looked up and she had a look of wonderment. She asked "Just what are you up to there, mister?" I kn... Continue»
Posted by tammy195950 6 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 945  |  
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Sex and Cops....fml

alright yall this is my 1st story dont hate but it fuckin sucked i tell you what.

my 9th grade year i was dating a cheer leader she was in her 12th year and i played Varsidy football 3A aka small town blah blah blah we fuck she loves me

now the story starting out the day i wake up and send her it was a snow and i wanted to see, we hung ou for most of the day we shot guns and did some other bull shit, but i had my DL and a truck ext cab ford ranger, i thought i was a bad ass but it had started to get dark so i parked to try to get my dicky shicky on a back ass gravel road, she wasnt much... Continue»
Posted by freek0418 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1184  |  
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