Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 101

Strip the night away PART 1

Men go to strip clubs to see tits and ass. Nothing else. Yeah occasionally a beer wont hurt. But Melvin Thomas goes for the happy hour whereby he gets nachos and a bowl of pretzels at no charge to go along with his 7up. Melvin married early when he was 18, right after highschool. Now at 38 years, his marriage had become as interesting as a senior citzen golf tournament. Thats why he went regularily to strip clubs to see two things he never saw back home; beautiful women and food. Today he enter the club wih pair of jean shorts that had month old mustard stains on them and an old blue faded po... Continue»
Posted by burrito_boy 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 687  |  
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Some might think...

Guys always say that it's easy for a woman to get some dick. Maybe that's true but then, what kind of dick is she gonna get ? Tonight, alone, k**s gone to their dad's, making some calls to some guys, but no one is answering their cell. Call up my Jamaican friend, n/a, call up my African friend, n/a, call up my American friend who's in S.A. and he says he'll call me back, but then, no news.

Oh ! almost forgot, I called up two different Haitian guys, but N/A !! lol

So, I figure, I'm gonna smoke some weed, watch a porn and play with myself but realize, after I start watching this vid that ... Continue»
Posted by BCBYATCH 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 781  |  
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Last night


So last night me and my Girlfriend where in our living room watching movies, and she started to fall asl**p. So I said hey I know your not sl**ping, because everytime I spend a lot of time ppicking out these movies and everytime you fall asl**p. she said I'm sorry baby I'm so tired I can't keep my eyes open can you help me stay awake. I looked at her like ???? what? She said maybe be if you put that big daddy dick in my fat wet pussy I might be able to stay awake.
I said I think I can keep you up. So she slowly untied my shorts and pulled my dick out and put it against her face like she wa... Continue»
Posted by nikemanna 2 years ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 931  |  
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sunny's wife's away

Sunny Brown’s wife Valerie, a hospital senior dietician, had gone to Sydney for an advanced hospital nutrition and food services management course for a month and Sunny's missing her and missing connecting with her vagina. Equally distressing he was missing her superior cooking compared to his best endeavours and generally most restaurant meals he’d had didn’t measure up either.

But he survived without complaint and cooked some of his dinners, mainly sticking with chicken fried rice or mince on toast or a roast. Two bright spots were invitations on week one and week two from two friends, we... Continue»
Posted by sunnybrown 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1076  |  
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BigBimbo's Memoire's #3 - Musings about

In 2003 I was freshly out of school, temporarily unemployed, in a depressing and unhealthy long-distance on-off relationship of the sort that young people who don't know what they want often find themselves in and, further, was newly and angrily "off". I went to a bar with some friends to blow off some steam and got a few drinks down the hatch in short order. There was a new girl working as a table waitress and, while nothing special to look at, she was curvy, showing a lot of strong-looking leg and had a cute smile. We flirted a bit every time I placed an order and I eventually asked what she... Continue»
Posted by bigbimbo 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 272  |  
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The death of me on the sunset strip by Romance666

a short story by Romance666
coming in from the hot dusty weather, Jamie lifted the canteen over her head water poured over her long black loosely curled hair making it cling to her rock hard body underneath her army green wife beater and gun belt hanging from her shoulder. Zombie brains washed down to the floor and floated down the stream on the concrete. What's for dinner bitch? she jokingly says to Lucy, Lucy had stayed home to cook a dead dog they found on the street on a scavenger hunting mission they did earlier, Jamie had brought back a box of baby wipes and pine sol. not really a larg... Continue»
Posted by Romance666 2 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 243  |  
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Rush Hour Rigamortis

As anyone who commutes too, from and within a large city will tell you rush hour is somethig everyone wishes they could avoid. Whether it be the long drive home where the only thing touching medal is the brake pedal or weathering the upstream effect as you walk the crowded sidewalks to and from the office. As a new yorker I take the subway to and from work so you can imagine my pain. The situation in question happened a few months ago on a Thursday evening. It had been a long day and grimaced at the thought of the crowded subway cars and bustling underground hikes as a would have to make 2 tra... Continue»
Posted by dennypas 2 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 1446  |  
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ivy league

IVY League Ch 1 I found this story on line

Rebecca Palmer was concerned about a couple of boys her son, Danny, has been hanging around with. Being on the PTA (Parent Teacher Association) board at his high school she knows a lot about the reputations of the students, so it concerned her when he hung out with the well-known trouble-makers. Danny is such a nice boy and didn't need those kinds of influences in his life, but it was so hard for her to prevent it.

Mike Brantley and Ben Thompson were the two boys Mrs. Palmer was concerned with. They were both eighteen year-old seniors at Parkvi... Continue»
Posted by bobbyblue53 5 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 977  |  
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Lisa to Liz part 2

Well when Jim called told me what Liz had told him frist thing I said was who the hell is Liz? He explaned that Lisa was his wife but when she wanted my cock she was Liz. I started to try to make sure that my friend was ok whit all this but unknow to me the phone was on speaker and she yelled that it did not matter if he cared cause he was the reason it all started in the frist place. This was a lot for me to handle I told them I would come to there house tomorrow and talk about it.

After I hung up I started to think she was right it was his idea but, he was also my friend for all... Continue»
Posted by shotguner 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 154  |  
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sex in the barn

Sex in the barn:

I walk into the barn and I saw Maggie bending over picking up a bale of hay , I walked behind her and grabbed her tits she dropped the bale of hay straight away ,I started to kiss her at the back of the neck and around to her ear ,my hand went under her shirt to find her large tits hugging them very tightly ,I could feel her nipples get hard ,I already had a hard on watching her bending over ,I could see the outline of her pussy in the tight leggings she had on ,I took her top off and undid her bra, her big tits bounced ,I turned her around and started to suck hard on her n... Continue»
Posted by alwaysREADY2please 11 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1583  |  
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After the frat party... With Kara

The frat party was dying down, as the crowd became less dense the spilled beer pong cups and garbage became less apparent... Sucks for whoever is going to clean that one up.

The girl I met (we'll call her Kara for identity sake) was waiting for me to drop her off. We had a pretty good time, this is one of the few times I had a girl with me and didn't have a shit load of "Mother Hens" interfering.

"Are you ready to leave?" I asked.

"Yes" she said eagerly.

She was a cutie... he had ample breasts, and a nice shapely ass. Her hair was dark with blonde streaks... or blon... Continue»
Posted by elquicko 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1276  |  
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Finally.

I was Always working ,my Shift's got off at Midnight,It was a Friday night and everyone of the late teen early 20's people in the neighborhood were all hanging out on the Hot Saturday morning. Many people were Partying in the Apartment,Somehow I got two girls in the Hallway.
I then somehow preceded too show them my Cock. My Future Girlfriend at that time Laughed at my cock. Funny okay no biggie. Maybe A couple month's down the Road I get off work ,I'm driving around the Block and She's hanging out after midnight,At that time I'm driving a 76 black Firebird. She ... Continue»
Posted by littleforeskin 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 1168  |  
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bad girl Jade gets shagged at party by loads of la

Hi I am back after a long absence. Here is a dirty story about me getting fucked at my s****rs’ mates’ birthday party.

So we got there and I was wearing this sexy black dress that barely covered my tits and arse (Emma was in a nice dress too). Anyway the house was packed Id say 75 % of people there were lads. This Tracy girl knew what she was doing for her birthday. I tried to dance but I am not very good and I didn’t like the weird mix of chav and westlife music.

After I knocked back a vodka martini I went after a lad called Craig who was 19. He snogged my face off and his tongue felt... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 475  |  
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Swallows

Doctor Judy Swallows was one of the NYPD's best and longest serving psychiatrists. She was an accomplished doctor and she was hot. Off the scale hot.
“Do me,” she moaned as Bumfelt bent her over her desk, his balls slapping against her sexy firm ass as he went balls deep on her. “That's it Detective, fuck me. Fuck the Doctor's tight pussy.”
Bumfelt did.
They changed positions. Swallows was a stunning looking woman. Blonde curly hair framing a beautiful face, full lips, sexy as hell blue eyes behind glasses. Long lithe body. 36C breasts now spilling out from an open blouse and pulled... Continue»
Posted by sirprecum 10 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 461  |  
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Caught At A XXX Bookstore


With the invention of the internet, you don’t see to many adult bookstores anymore and the ones you do see and nearly empty. Why leave the comfort of your home when you can download endless quantities of porn for free. I still go once in a while to pick up a new magazine or buy some lube. I just turned 19 years old and like most young guys I had a hard-on that wouldn't stop no matter how much I jacked off. So today I decided to visit a new bookstore because the one I used frequent closed about two months ago.

Inside out smelled like a wet ashtray. I was nervous as I walked through the rac... Continue»
Posted by ndamood4sum 1 year ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 2519  |  
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Shakedown

"Strip," I said.
"What?" she replied angrily. "You think I'm carrying or I'm wired? You don't fuckin' trust me?"
"I don't fuckin' trust anybody," I replied, motioning with my forty-five. "That's why I'm still alive. It pays not to trust anybody in this line of business. Especially the broads."
"Fuck you, Micky," she hissed, anger flaring in her eyes.
"Strip," I said.
She did. Slowly and sensuously she unbuttoned her jacket. She placed it on the back of the chair. She turned and stood before me and she was quite simply stunning. She wore a white blouse. The material sheer a... Continue»
Posted by sirprecum 10 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 404  |  
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My Roommate Takes My Girlfriend

After I graduated from college, I moved in a new apartment and shortly afterwards met my girlfriend Becky. I'm not a very attractive guy, so I was incredibly lucky to have managed to get her. At the time, Becky was twenty-five and a total knockout. She had a cute button nose, a killer smile, and long, dark brunette hair, which she usually put in a pony-tail. She worked out a lot, and her body showed it. She had a small, tight butt and a slim, defined torso. Her breasts were a large C cup, full and round, sitting high on her chest and topped by bright pink, slightly puffy nipples. The first tim... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 2150  |  
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weenie in a bottle

It feels like I've been alone too long,
With no girls around my mind
Was wondering.
Thinking of some way,
to release it.

I looked in the kitchen,
Saw some Crisco Oil,
And that's when my bl**d started to boil,
Ooooooh yeah.

Ow, Ow, Ow!
(Uh oh!)
Ow, ow, ow!
(Oh God! What did I just do?)

No one wanted to be with me,
Had to make my dream come true,
I wanted to hump something,
I didn't know what to do.
It seemed like a good idea,
And no one else was around,
I stuck my weenie in a bottle,
And now I can't get it out!

Stuck my weenie in a bottle today,
... Continue»
Posted by heavenly_joy 5 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1991  |  
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Company of Men

"COMPANY OF MEN” written by Janet

Diane a former prostitute want to escape away from her abusing
pimps, and other men. She wants to change her life around just to become a
normal person, she want to go back to school, get a good job. But, it's
seem whatever she do, she always fail. Diane loves to dress sexy, she
is 45 year old, and has an athlete shape with a size 48 D cup breast. Her
hips is very wide and her ass shake very heavy when she walk. Guys
can't resist stopping and staring at her. She just ignores them and continues
walking. One day she had a... Continue»
Posted by hotblackpussy42 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 1120  |  
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MY FIRST NUT!

WHEN I WAS 13 I USE TO GET IN TROUBLE ALOT. SO MY MOM SENT ME TO LIVE WITH HER AUNT. SHE WAS OLD SCHOOL..... WHEN I MEAN OLD SCHOOL SHE WOULD BEAT MY ASS FOR ANY LITTLE THING I DID OUT OF LINE. WELL THIS ONE TIME IT WAS EARLY Saturday MORNING. I HAD A MORNING WOOD THAT JUST WOULDN'T GO WAY! SO I STARTED TO JERK IT...... BRINGING A NOT SO QUIET MOAN FROM MY LIPS................ NO WAY SHE HERD ME. SHE GOES OUT ON THE PORCH AND DRINKS HER COFFEE. I WAS REALLY GETTING INTO IT......WHEN I HERD A SCREAM!! YOU DIRTY LIL FU#KER!! SHE YANKED ME UP PUT ME OVER HER KNEES. I WAS ALREADY CRYING NOT THI... Continue»
Posted by forsaken1034 4 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 2494  |  
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