Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 101

no fucking chapter one

It’s time to play hard. Last night I got caught up in a fit of rage. I introduced the group of boys known as ‘the losers.’ Brent was a tall dork with a bad haircut and raging teenage acne. In his memory I was not girlfriend material. He hadn’t dated a girl and he was a sophomore. I entered the equation as a delinquent freshman pretending to be innocent. Another night I will tell you the story of devious behavior before I was a freshman. How I lost my virginity is a totally different story. Being in the gifted program I developed a double life. All of my academic peers were wealthy, w... Continue»
Posted by linmarris 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Indian - How i lost myself to Karim's in his

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The Karim s Studio


The morning sun broke out earlier than usual and was cajoling my face rather sharply through our bedroom window. I woke up, preparing myself for another hot & humid day. It was a proper May. My husband, Raj was on the last stretch of his sl**p. He really appreciates that part. So, not wanting to disturb him I sneaked out of the room and headed for the toilet. When I am in there, I started brushing my teeth and felt the totally damp nightie clinging on to my back due to the power cut we had earlier in the morning. The same soaked... Continue»
Posted by ssantham 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Dateline...

I'm going to try and make this quick. This is a fucked up sarcastic fantasy, and if it turns you on, um, wow.
I'm chatting on some sleezy alt site with some chippie who is obviously a cop. Cute misspelling and cartoon references that showed he studied.
I dance around the issue for weeks. I'm not sending any dick pics, asking for specific info like age etc. I was real cagey. I'm not into that sort of thing but i got another agenda, so eventually i agree to meet.
I know what this is. I've made preparations in advance, including high end lawyers and a private investigator. I even rented a news... Continue»
Posted by badboy4320 1 year ago  |  Categories: Gay Male, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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جلنار جردلي Jilnar Jardaly in Fuckland

Once upon a time, there was a very sexy and horny little slut called Jilnar Jardaly, who was having lots and lots of fun at her girlfriend's wedding day!

After the beautiful ceremony, the reception was well under way and Jilnar, was having such a lovely day! She'd already fucked nearly all the male guests, as well as several of the female ones. Best of all, she still had a few more hours left in the day to seduce the rest and add them to her enormous and ever-growing list of sexual conquests.

She decided to have a stroll in the beautiful garden to cool her perfectly delectable but achin... Continue»
Posted by JilnarJardalyLustCum 1 year ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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a night away

I was on secondment to a local authority for 12 months and the team I was working with had a conference someone had to attend providing a promotion stand. For various reasons none of the permanent staff were able to attend as it meant an overnight stay, so Sarah my boss and I were the delegates.

We arrived at the hotel late afternoon, went to our rooms to clean up and agreed to meet in the bar for a pre-dinner drink.

Showered & changed, at about 5, I wandered down, Sarah arrived only a couple of minutes later.
“I feel better for getting the days grime off” she declared, as she sat down.... Continue»
Posted by qudduse 1 year ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
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Lesley part24

"Thought you were on earlies this morning?.....how come you get such a long lie.....you shagging the boss or something? Hahaha" lesley jokingly asked Sylvia when she bumped into her at nearly one in the afternoon.

"Humph...not funny....anyway...I know who's shagging the boss" she replied with disdain.

"What's wound you up ya daft mare?"

"Guess...he's nearly thirty stone, bald, bearded, and has the charm of a Rottweiler.....and me tits are sore"

"McPeevie?.... Oh fuck...what's happened?"

"Missing notes....ring a bell?... Plus...er....some other things....I had to...er....um....... Continue»
Posted by Les1111 1 year ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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A Hot d***ken Night

Jay and I were back in the states in Seattle Washington giving our friends and f****y a surprise visit. Jay, All the AOM boys and I were at this sports bar in his hometown. Jay was never a big drinker so he quickly got a buzz after 2 drinks. But however his buddies encouraged him to drink more, which then made Jay’s Face become slightly pink in the cheeks and made him a lot more louder.
“Guys, Guys wanna hear somethin’?” he asked with a goofy smile.
“What’s that?” asked one of his friends.
“If Alcohol makes you an alcoholic what does Fanta ma... Continue»
Posted by SimuatedPorn 15 days ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Bad Sex

So I was talking with some friends the other day, and the subject (as usual) turned to sex. That is what happens when you add alcohol and a group of adults who are finally away from their k**s for a few hours LOL! And somehow we got to relating some of the worst sex stories we'd ever heard and some of our own worst sex stories!!

You know, guys who claim to have huge dicks, and when they get naked you need a magnifying glass to find it. Women who say they love giving head but stop after less than 2 minutes. Things like that. Most of the stories were pretty tame.

One friend was with a gu... Continue»
Posted by lovegoddes71 7 days ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Oral Fixation: Combining Two Things I Love

Recently I saw a couple of photos posted on xhamster of a chick with a banana shoved half-way up her twat. Got we very hot and I saved them to my favorites if you're curious to see them.

That image took me back several years. I had this girlfriend who let me fuck her with a banana on the kitchen table. Naturally, I fucked her with my dick in just about every room of that house, but having her buck-naked, spread-eagle on the dining table with a banana in her (fucked her with a carrot a few times too) was quite a hot thing to see. Especially the time my room-mate who was supposed to be ... Continue»
Posted by hangingout1984 6 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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KARI'S JAILHOUSE S.W.A.N.K.

------ Hey you, listen up! This is how it's going to be! I'm going to tie you down, and suck you off, until you explode, with a fat load, of your sweet, sweeet cream! Oh, what a wonderful wet' dream! So, I'll start with placing your ball's on my face, your cock then fall's right in place, while I hum like a motor-boat race! You'll scream, so loud my eardrum's will pop, but don't worry baby, I won't stop! Not until I mount your hard throbbing cock! You place your hand's on my breast, my pelvis, will not rest! My pleasure's you ... Continue»
Posted by JUICYBOX 6 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Top 10 flirting tips

10. Flirting is all about attitude. A good flirt is self-confident and not afraid to take risks. Be enthusiastic, open and positive. It works!

9. Start a conversation. The best opening line is saying hello. Talk about the surroundings, ask a question, ask for help, make a joke, state an opinion. Make sure you are calm and composed but just do it before the person you've got your eye on walks out of the bar or passed you in the street, never to be seen again!

8. Have fun. Be playful, light-hearted and spontaneous. Show your vulnerability.



7. Use props. Never leave home without a pr... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Me and My Bestfriend Jake

This is not actually mine my friend told me it was hers and she said if I can post it here.

My friend and as a lover:


It was one Friday morning, when Jake texted me about going out for some breakfast and have a little friendly talk. He said "Hey Maddy I want to tell you something about your boyfriend Nick". I was so curious about how he said he wants to tell me something about my bf. So I replied "sure there's no big deal about that I guess..." so i sat down the bench waiting for Jake to pick me up after talking to Nick for about five minutes Jake arrived and let me in his car. Jake ... Continue»
Posted by dianneforbes16 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Han Valen Production office stow aways

Another show, another rigging call. The glamorous life of a big rock show usually begins at 6 AM in the morning putting the rigging in place that holds those massive sound and lighting systems in the air.

This day was starting out like any other. I got to the Arena around 5:15 AM so I could let in the caterers and stagehands. I got the guard to open to door and he went back on his cart to his office. I grabbed my briefcase and headed to the production office. When I got there I opened the door and there was a young girl sitting the desk. She kind of startled me. I asked if I could h... Continue»
Posted by kdrummer 3 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Lovemaking...


Frenchman, an Italian and an American were discussing love-making.

"Last night I made love to my wife three times" boasted the
Frenchman. "She was in sheer ecstasy this morning..."

"Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the Italian
responded, "and this morning she made me a wonderful omelette
and told me she could never love another man."

When the American remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked,
"And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?"

"Once." he replied.

"Only once?" the Italian arrogantly snorted. "And what did she
say to you ... Continue»
Posted by papa61 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Playing Along

In my defense… all this was only supposed to be just a harmless little prank and I really didn’t intend on things going as far as they did but… look, first let me explain what happened and you tell me if I was wrong.

I’m Ethan, a few years ago when I was 19 I was invited by my friend Kamario also 19 at the time, to spend the holiday weekend with him and his f****y at their home, it nothing fancy or over the top it was just a three day weekend in a small town in North East California with my friend and his f****y. Kamario and I arrived at his f****y house early Friday afternoon; his mother g... Continue»
Posted by Rust1 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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An Easter Tale

An Easter Tale for Sariboo

Something to think about when the sermon goes too long this Sunday

Sari is a friend of my daughters, and since she moved to my area at some distance from her home, and my former home, I have tried to help her to adjust to being on her own. I helped her find an apartment, move in, a trip to Ikea to get furniture (and much assembly required), a search for just the right pots and pans; well you get the picture. And once or twice a week I take her to lunch or dinner. I try and find places that a twenty something would like.

We have become qui... Continue»
Posted by windsorkeith 6 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Married Couple Jump Start Sex Life

I'm a average 40 year old married man for the last 15 years. Like often the case are sex life was going doll. Rachel & I have had sex all kinds of way's. We've done the latex& leather fetish, sexy lingerie&heels, whips&handcuffs, every position imaginable. But in the last year we barley had sex at all. We still loved each other but sex had become doll.

The fall of 2010 I started a new season of pickup hockey. Every Saturday morning I go to the local rink and play some ice hockey. So my first Saturday I noticed my new team mate, Jeff. He sat on the bench just across from me in the changing r... Continue»
Posted by primo38 4 years ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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The Substitute

I was three years out of highschool and between jobs. A guy I went to school with got a job as a substitute teacher in a school a few towns over and told me they were looking for subs to replace recently dismissed faculty. It didn't take long to get my teaching certificate, I was already qualified thanks to a bachelors degree in American History. When I myself was in Highschool I was by no means popular. I had braces and acne and weighed 250 pounds. After I graduated I decided to get healthy, by dieting and hitting the gym regularly I lost a hundred pounds of body fat and gained 25 pounds of m... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 4 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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First Time

FIRST TIME

I couldn’t believe I said yes to this and I actually went through with it. I laid naked on the bed, covering my breasts with one hand and the other covering my pussy. He wasn’t a bad looking guy but I couldn’t bring myself to having sex with someone else, I’ve only had my husband in me and I was afraid. “Is this your first time?” he asks caressing my right hand which is over my breasts. I shook my head up and down “well don’t worry honey, we don’t have to if you don’t want to” those words made me feel a bit more at ease, he gently remove my right hand above my breasts and place i... Continue»
Posted by dlbiblkm 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Fucked My Innocent Radha Bhabhi

I went into a sexual relationship with my mother like innocent Bhabhi, Radha. We are two b*****rs Murli and I and I was younger and around 18 years old my b*****r Murli was married to Radha Bhabhi. She was hot and sexy female from Pune. She was homely but no one would stop staring at her beautiful body.

She had huge busty boobs and lean waist and bulgy round ass. She was tall enough and also had long black hair. She was very down to earth and innocent and her face was so cute and also sexy. She was so beautiful when she smiled. My b*****r and Radha Bhabhi were living in Mumbai and me and m... Continue»
Posted by harryhunk 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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