Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 10
As I sit here and write this I think to myself...this is still one of the most...well, when you read it you'll see what I'm talking about.
Around the same week I met a sexy BBW & a Atlethic yet thin guy:
She had chocolate skin, huge tits, a huge clit that stood straight up (she showed me via pics) & a thick ass that made you want to just bite it! She was very pretty in the face as well.
He was toned everywhere! His stomach was filled with muscle, his skin was carmel & smooth, HIS DICK WAS HUGE!
I talked to both of them eveyday. I was more of a friend to him and we saw each... Continue»
The Italian Job 25
The next morning I went to the factory and completed the reprogramming of the computer control, we were now 2 weeks into the job but Antonis had decided that as he had me there and he wanted me to stay for the duration promising me a bonus if all went well over the next 2 weeks, this was good news because it was just a 2 weeks holiday with the occasional trip to the factory although if they had a problem they could call me or page me as the hotel had leant me a bleeper, that worked on the phone system, Maria was full of herself anyway because she had fucked Carlos even tho... Continue»
She was quite a bit shorter than me but she was very curvy
with blond hair that fell just below her shoulders. sort
of half way between curly and wavy. She had a wonder full
pair of breasts. i was only 16 and they were the first pair
i ever felt or played with. and in some ways i sort of compare
any others that i have come in contact with ever since.
I have no idea what movie we were watching but there was some
hand holding and cuddling, some kissing and caressing.
i was fumbling around not sure of what i should be doing.
She was an experienced girl who had been down this road a
3 men die on xmas eve, to get into heaven st peter says u must have sumthing on u that represents xmas, the english man flicks a lighter and says its a candle, st peter lets him pass,, welsh man pulls out a set of keys and jingles them and says they r bells, st peter lets him pass, the irish man pulls out a G string and st peter says how the fuck do they represent xmas?? Paddy said they're carols... Continue»
STRAIGHT MALE EDITION
Every Straight Male thinks they're able to do porn
1. Are you capable of cumming more than once ? not that you will really need to but just in case you happen to get over excited around female performers you wont explode and then have nothing else left in the arsenal.
2. How are your athletic skills ? its one thing to be in a gangbang edge yourself and wait till its your turn to jizz, but its another thing when you have to penetrate another performer in full speed without getting out of breath and stopping.Porn stars usually go half and hal... Continue»
You were sitting in your bedroom reading a book when you heard the front door open and looked up seeing Naruto and Kiba burst through your door.
"Hey Yami!" Naruto said happily as you smiled back.
"Are you doing anything?" Kiba said as you looked at your book then him.
"No.. Not really.."you said as he grabbed your shoulders picking you up.
"Then let's hang out!" he said carrying you out of your house as you sighed letting him do what he wanted.
"Where are we going?" you asked looking at Naruto confused.
"Hehe Kiba has to clean up his house and he wanted me and you to come to... Continue»
Another poem originally posted under the screen name BrianDamage...and not a true story, btw...
I Married A Hooker
I met a girl who walked the street,
I have to say she really looked sweet,
Tight skirt of leather and lace,
Long hair framed a pretty face,
Didn't take much more than a glance,
To realize I wanted to get into her pants,
Next time I saw her walking by,
I chugged my beer and went over to say 'Hi,'
She asked me if I wanted to go out,
What she did for a living, there was no doubt,
Just to make sure there is no misconception,
I normally don't pay, this wa... Continue»
I feel your hand stroke my shoulder and your finger tips graze the tops of my breasts then cup the undersides. . When you begin to nip and lick the spot where my neck meets my shoulder, goose bumps spring to the surface of my skin and I can't hold back a moan. My hips push back against you and my nipples pebble into hard little points.
Your not inside me yet....but I can feel your rigid erection between my buttocks. You slap my ass; hard, almost too hard. It stings and hurts, but the electricity shoots through my body in an instant and I feel it surge all across my back, down my arms and... Continue»
I work in the fashion indstry so a lot of my mates are homosexual, I've been told by my homosexual friends guys do it better, deepthroat, hand jobs and general fucking. So me not being one to judge before hand, I started browsing Craigslist and found a candidate who's a bottom, after brief discussion, I went to his apartment, to which was as stated in his ad, the door wasn't closed only ajar, I walked in, a few meters from the computer was a blanket covered person with a hole for my dick to travel through to the mouth.
Me figuring this is it, unzipped and plunged my dick into his mouth, mak... Continue»
Karl walks into the bathroom in his school with his head hung down at the white tiles on the floor. He raises his head and turns toward the urinals. Karl gives off a small sigh as he takes out his semi - hard dick.
"What I wouldn't do for some dick right now." Karl said to himself while flushing his self out. Karl was admiring his soft light caramel skin in the mirror, when he then heard a soft moan coming out of the light gray stall. He chuckled to himself thinking it was just his imagination, since... Continue»
I did a porn movie just before Xmas last year! Now why would you think that anyone would want to see a sixty-six year old male doing silly things naked with two other guys? Well they do and they pay to see these things.
It was all very surreal when you consider that I went down to Bournemouth to do it; I would not consider Bournemouth to be a centre for too many things, let alone porn movies of gay old farts in full flight.
I was picked up at the railway station and in that moment I had met the cameraman, producer, director, sound man, lighting man, Foley artist, hairdresser, make up c... Continue»
I am way to scared to go dogging and can be a bit shy to go to gay venues but I have needs and as a sub bottom I really do need to be comprehensively shagged; the more often the better.
Some time ago I went to a 'north' London sauna once and when I walked in the door the fellow at the counter asked me if I realised it was a Gay sauna. I am a very straight looking guy and if you thought I was gay you may say a very dominant top, but the truth lies elsewhere.
I told the young fellow that I realised what the establishment provided and after the payment of the obligatory £14 I went in.
Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss But I only slept with you because I was pissed.
I thought that I could love no other That is, until I met your b*****r.
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.
Of loving beauty you float with grace Now if only you could hide your face.
* Kind, intelligent, loving and hot; This describes all the things you are not.
I want to feel your sweet embrace But don't take that paper bag off of your face.
I love y... Continue»
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"
He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."
Seven wise men with the knowledge so fine,
created a pussy to their design.
First was a butcher, with smart wit,
using a knife, he gave it a slit.
Second was a carpenter, strong and bold,
with a hammer and chisel, he gave it a hole.
Third was a tailor, tall and thin,
by using red velvet, he lined it within.
Fourth was a hunter, short and stout,
with a piece of fox fur, he lined it without.
Fifth was a fisherman, nasty as hell,
threw in a fish and gave it a smell.
Sixth was a preacher, whose name was McGee,
he touched it and blessed it and said it could pee.
Last was... Continue»
My landlord is a retired colonel and has after his retirement he has built a huge home that anyone would rather call an apartment. More because of his two sons out of whom none was living in India. The younger was already working there but the elder had recently moved abroad. So as his wife could not get Visa and also the winters were approaching so her movement was postponed until a good time might come.
Meanwhile she used to teach music and dance to young girls while living in Pune and she was herself a very bright lady. She was young and aged only 26 or 27 years. She was beautiful too... Continue»
My mouth was super dry
can i feel your, luscious, lips locking with mine
sweetylittle smooth pussy was saturated with her moisture
u separate my pussy lips and drove ur tongue in
plese held my breasts against ur mouth and starting sucking on them
shall i softly, caressing ur breasts.
laying on the bed, hands in her pants,
i also rarely wore a bra
stuffed her fingers into her pussy
She never wore underwear
pulling her pants off or by sticking my cock in her hand/mouth
three fingers stuffed into her pussy with one hand and was rubbing her clit with the other
walked over to me,... Continue»
Now this is 4 the niggas that eat pussy (or at least try to lol).......let me start off by sayin there is a rite & wrong way to eat pussy.....if a girl ever say it hurt while you eatin her out you doin sumthin wrong (how you can make it hurt idk....but sum females have told me that sum niggas made they pussy hurt while they was eatin it lol).....now you cant juss move your tongue up &down & actually think you doing sumthin cuz you not especially if you not in the rite spots....take it from a pro ((ME)).....movin your tongue up & down is borin.....you gotta go from side to side & vibrate yo ton... Continue»
How do they do it, the ones who make love without love? Beautiful as dancers, gliding over each other like ice-skaters over the ice, fingers hooked inside each other's bodies, faces red as wine, as wet as an indian monsoon in June. How do they come to the come to the come to the God come to the still waters, and not love the one who came there with them, light rising slowly as steam off their joined skin? These are the true religious, the purists, the pros, the ones who will not accept a false Messiah, love the priest instead of the God. They do not mistake the lover for their own pleasure, th... Continue»
Dorothy sat on her knees looking around at Oz. The lush green grass, the bright blue sky and the glimmer of the gold road was all that she had remembered. Memories of her journey through Oz with the Scarecrow, Tinman and Cowardly Lion came flashing back. The memory of the city of Oz, the wicked witch and her castle and the munchkins filled her heart with joy that she hadn't felt in such a long time.
As she stood up Dorothy realized she was in a part of Oz she had never seen before. She walked up to the yellow brick road and stood in the middle of it looking up one way and then down the othe... Continue»