Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 10
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"
He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."
Seven wise men with the knowledge so fine,
created a pussy to their design.
First was a butcher, with smart wit,
using a knife, he gave it a slit.
Second was a carpenter, strong and bold,
with a hammer and chisel, he gave it a hole.
Third was a tailor, tall and thin,
by using red velvet, he lined it within.
Fourth was a hunter, short and stout,
with a piece of fox fur, he lined it without.
Fifth was a fisherman, nasty as hell,
threw in a fish and gave it a smell.
Sixth was a preacher, whose name was McGee,
he touched it and blessed it and said it could pee.
Last was... Continue»
My landlord is a retired colonel and has after his retirement he has built a huge home that anyone would rather call an apartment. More because of his two sons out of whom none was living in India. The younger was already working there but the elder had recently moved abroad. So as his wife could not get Visa and also the winters were approaching so her movement was postponed until a good time might come.
Meanwhile she used to teach music and dance to young girls while living in Pune and she was herself a very bright lady. She was young and aged only 26 or 27 years. She was beautiful too... Continue»
My mouth was super dry
can i feel your, luscious, lips locking with mine
sweetylittle smooth pussy was saturated with her moisture
u separate my pussy lips and drove ur tongue in
plese held my breasts against ur mouth and starting sucking on them
shall i softly, caressing ur breasts.
laying on the bed, hands in her pants,
i also rarely wore a bra
stuffed her fingers into her pussy
She never wore underwear
pulling her pants off or by sticking my cock in her hand/mouth
three fingers stuffed into her pussy with one hand and was rubbing her clit with the other
walked over to me,... Continue»
Now this is 4 the niggas that eat pussy (or at least try to lol).......let me start off by sayin there is a rite & wrong way to eat pussy.....if a girl ever say it hurt while you eatin her out you doin sumthin wrong (how you can make it hurt idk....but sum females have told me that sum niggas made they pussy hurt while they was eatin it lol).....now you cant juss move your tongue up &down & actually think you doing sumthin cuz you not especially if you not in the rite spots....take it from a pro ((ME)).....movin your tongue up & down is borin.....you gotta go from side to side & vibrate yo ton... Continue»
How do they do it, the ones who make love without love? Beautiful as dancers, gliding over each other like ice-skaters over the ice, fingers hooked inside each other's bodies, faces red as wine, as wet as an indian monsoon in June. How do they come to the come to the come to the God come to the still waters, and not love the one who came there with them, light rising slowly as steam off their joined skin? These are the true religious, the purists, the pros, the ones who will not accept a false Messiah, love the priest instead of the God. They do not mistake the lover for their own pleasure, th... Continue»
Dorothy sat on her knees looking around at Oz. The lush green grass, the bright blue sky and the glimmer of the gold road was all that she had remembered. Memories of her journey through Oz with the Scarecrow, Tinman and Cowardly Lion came flashing back. The memory of the city of Oz, the wicked witch and her castle and the munchkins filled her heart with joy that she hadn't felt in such a long time.
As she stood up Dorothy realized she was in a part of Oz she had never seen before. She walked up to the yellow brick road and stood in the middle of it looking up one way and then down the othe... Continue»
Jacqueline staggered along the lake bank under the weight of her fishing tackle, pausing to wipe a sheen of perspiration from her brow with the back of her hand. It was just half past ten in the morning but, even so early, the June sunlight blazed in a cloudless azure sky, searing the parched Lincolnshire countryside already scorched by the unusual heat wave of the past two weeks. Jacqueline turned to watch Susan, struggling ill-humouredly and muttering unladylike remarks under an even greater burden, some twenty yards behind her. Jacqueline grinned; delighted as always by the sight of her irr... Continue»
Story #1: The pencil test; a story about Tom and Tina by MaxMon
: Pretty flowers, pretty Tina
Tina wore a smile reminiscent of surprise as if she had just opened a birthday gift that held her most desired thing; a sense of anticipation fulfilled with glee, and a natural enchantment filled her eyes most of the time. To her every day brought forth wondrous moments she took in eloquent stride. She exuded sincerity that life was a precious thing best experienced in the here and now, to not concern one’s ambition with the anxiety in not knowing the fut... Continue»
Dorothy and Leandra stood there silent, then a slate of rock moved down, opening up a way out of the circle of rocks that imprisoned them.
"Well theres the way out what do we do Dorothy"
"I don't know Leandra, we have to decided before they trap us here forever"
Leandra went over and grabbed their things. Picking up their clothes and her bag. She brought them over to the opening and tossed them out. She stood there looking out at the freedom her clothes had, but she still felt trapped. She didn't want to make the decision. Maybe her and Dorothy could come up with a way to get out. Th... Continue»
“On your knees, you d***k bitch,” the cop said. Kelly immediately obeyed. She would never cheat on her husband, but if letting this brute **** her meant she wouldn’t go to jail then it was worth it. He just stood there while she reached up and unzipped his trousers. Kelly tried not to think about what she was doing as she pulled his cock free and slipped it into her mouth.
The officer’s penis was thicker than her husband’s. It tasted of sweat and grime, but Kelly wasn’t in a position to complain. She slobbered over it and began to pump it with her hand as she bobbed her mouth on it. As she... Continue»
This piece is a chapter extracted from my novel "Toggenburg" a lesbian love story set in the mountains of Switzerland which I've posted in case any Xhamster reader might enjoy it.
“We are going to get wet!” declared Sarah firmly. It was a fair analysis as she and Daniela stood huddled in the doorway of the Hotel Toggenburg contemplating the wretched weather before them. It was still raining heavily and the wind was blowing the sheets of rain around in a bewildering variety of directions. Umbrellas promised to be hazardous accessories ra... Continue»
Leandra followed the snake like white trail, down the long winding tunnels. She knew Dorothy and the Oz guard had a good head start, but didn't realize it was so far. It seemed like the tunnels twisted and turned forever. It took her a good half hour before she heard Dorothy voice.
Dorothy and Omby were hiding behind a stone pillar. Leandra snuck up behind them and tapped Dorothy on the shoulder. She almost jumped out of her clothes. But as Dorothy jumped, Omby Amby instinctively grabbed ahold of Leandra throat. His grip surprised Leandra. Seeing his lanky frame would never make a person t... Continue»
A woman I have been friends with for the last four years invited me over to hang out at her Apt. She had a friend over, and I had it in my head the friend without the boyfriend would be there, and I might possibly hook up with said friend. I brought a fifth of R&R and even shoved a few condoms in my pocket, just in case. When I arrived, my heart fell. Her single friend wasn't there; alas, it was the one girl that had a boyfriend. I wasn't that upset, I just thought, maybe. So, I broke out the bottle and we started drinking anyway.
As the afternoon progressed, I sat on the back porch w... Continue»
Leandra slide her mouth away from Kaliko cock. Stood up and began removing her clothing. Sliding her black gown over her head. She watched as Dorothy opened her mouth, sucking up and down his slim curved cock.
"Your body looks amazing my dear Leandra."
"I hate you for this Kaliko."
He laughed as his fingers slide through Dorothy hair. "You know you could stop. But the spell in the wine has heighten your deepest desires. Why can't you be like your friend Dorothy. She's enjoying herself." Dorothy opened her mouth wider and took his whole cock down. Her face buried in his white and gra... Continue»
"We gotta go out and get our Rage on!" Spence shouted smashing an empty Bud bottle.
"Yeah I don't feel up to that Spence." I said downing the last of my beer.
"Come on Zach you so need this, especially after a bad break-up. And as luck would have it I know the perfect place."
We hopped into spence's car and drove to some out of the way building in a part of town I normally wouldn't go.
"Where are we?" I asked.
"It's a little off the beaten path, but it has exactly what you need."
"What Hep C or maybe a Staph Infection?"
We walked down a set of rusting... Continue»
Leandra screamed, as Kaliko pushed his whole cock down into her ass. His boney old hands, holding those cheeks apart for his cock. He watched as his pale cock pushed that green hole wide. Leandra threw her head back, his cock so deep and so good.
"Oh fucking god, don't stop. Feed my ass that cock".
He smiled and threw his weight into the next thrust. Shoving his cock down to the base. Leandra could feel his coarse pubic hair rubbing against her ass cheeks and hole. He held his cock in her ass grinding around inside. Making her feel all his cock.
"Dorothy why don't you sit in front of ... Continue»
question to discuss:
are u sick of "horny people" on here too?
D: let's send them to conversex and clean omegle up!!!
you:i am horny
you:i am sick of all non horny
you:whats the reason of web chatting if there is no sex involved?
you:i mean come on
you:i was holding my peepee in my hand
you:and i was trying to show it to the girls
you:and i forged my likes list
you:and put Bieber and one direction etc.
Omby Amby picked Dorothy up and threw her over his shoulder. She laughed as he carried her to the stern of the ship. There behind the ships wheel was a table, with maps of Oz. Omby placed Dorothy down and slide the maps off. His cock still rock hard, even cumming so much in Dorothy mouth. He got up on the table and laid back.
The stern had a few lanterns, but it was the moon that illuminated it. The moon's light hung over the ship as it made its journey and Dorothy could see Omby cock, sticking up in all its magnificence. She climbed up on the table,facing him and position herself over tha... Continue»
Leandra held on tight, looking down at the spot that once held the remains of Omby Amby. She pulled herself up and over the railing, looking around to see if Dorothy or The Lion had witnessed what had just transpired. To her delight there was no one but her. She walked over to the map that had caused her to kill Omby and just like Omby, she tossed it over the side of the ship. It swayed in the wind until it hit the desert and turned to sand. She looked out at the desert and saw land on the horizon.
She gathered Omby clothes and walked down the stairs to where she had stashed hers. She sli... Continue»