Sex Humor Porn Stories

First Date

It's 6:55 in the evening and I'm sitting on a marble bench in the atrium of the Chicago Stock exchange. In five minutes you will walk through the sculptured glass double doors that lead into this magnificent lobby. You insisted on meeting me here rather than picking you up at your hotel. You mentioned something about a "grand entrance". I have been here since 6:30 (a lady should never have to wait on her e****t.) I look at myself in one of the many mirrors that line the hall. I cannot see that I am shaking but I feel as though I am absolutely vibrating with anticipation. I ... Continue»
Posted by Sillswede 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 1795  |  
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Like Judy Said

Unbelievable!

The infamous Hammer Man is none other than my ex gay lover I knew
up in Boston. One day he up and and disappeared on me only to
turn up here! How insane is that!

Hank was more surprised than I was. He totaly forgot his lines.

"Is that you, little soldier? Looks like you've gone trannie on me."

"I'm a transvestite you ignorant fucktard!" I shouted a little more
than I would have liked. Perhaps the Estrogen treatments were having
an effect on me.

"Hey, I'm sorry!" Hank apologized. "I would have said good-bye... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1388  |  
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Rockin' w/ the Band

The new band singer knew just how to put her new band mate at ease.
She looked up at him and began to pull on her pussy hairs, and slowly
pull apart her vulva.

"Here I am!" she sang. "Rock me like a hurricane!"
***************************************************
(Time now for something different, This story is the first
of a new series that has has nothing to do with Trangender,
bisexual,chubby chasing, Larry/Lori, Ready Jane at Wild Crescent)

He was a man of few words. Most of the time his bass guitar
and body language did all his talking for him. Right n... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 943  |  
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Eurotica 20: The beach, the sun – the cave?

I wrote this for a ladyfriend whom I went on to have a wild weekend with - ish!
After reading it, she claimed to have rushed to her nearest pub, picked up a man and then fucked his brains out! See what you think!

The sand was so white and pebble-free it could have been snow, but for the intense heat from the cloudless blue sky.
The Mediterranean Sea was crystal clear, very warm and very welcoming.
Mandy marvelled at the view, she was a week into her holiday with her partner and her tan was starting to brown away the sore red burns.
She sat her small frame up on the sun-lounger, i... Continue»
Posted by nickyb1968 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 1318  |  
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inside of her pt2

as i mentioned befor i was puzzled were could they havewent? i thought to myself as i continued on with the day one of my coworkersasked meif every thing was o kay i replied yes,i just had a wildnight she smerkedand said i hope it was 1 to remeber i replied it sure was one i wont forget it for a while and smiled back soas the day progressed it was time to go home and basically follow same routine but the night had come and gone i didnt think i would ever have that encounter again when suddenly she appeared and things were just as before it was a rather stormy night but not to bad there were n... Continue»
Posted by dblac2 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 455  |  
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Now it's my turn

The light fog added a moisture to the air. The coolness of the night wrapped around her like a wet towel, sending a shiver up her spine. She was lucky she knew the area so well, or she could have easily become lost. She looked through the trees at the house where he lived, slightly smiling at the one electric candle burning in the kitchen window.

Little did he know that the candle provided a signal for her. He, in his excitement, meant the signal for another. Just the thought of what she had planned had her so excited that she could barely control her movements. She was wet down to mid-thig... Continue»
Posted by faheem1986 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 720  |  
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inside of her pt3

there bodies were drapped in a golden hue they had tattos of other woman on there bodies the images were almost alive like they could reach out and touch you see this i payed no attention to the first time because lights were off and my mind was feeled with such sexual passion that i did nt notice these things but when it came to the light i def... notice that they were different you see these were woman of the rain , of water meaning that there non existing but they are because ,i can see them ,i can smell them ,and i sure as hell can feel them so call it what you will .My Golden Godess "... Continue»
Posted by dblac2 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 238  |  
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In the glade

The sun was coming in through the room window next to where I sat, making my white shirt stick to the sweat on my torso. I eased open the top button of my shirt and checked that my tie was up hiding this uniform crime from Miss Willims. Daydreaming away the final minutes of double english I let her voice become a meaningless drone. " But low what light.." she read. RRRRRRRRRRRR - the bell went and the whole class raised slightly as i the bell instilled a new energy into us.
Packing my bag I wandered down the stairs and out into the cooling breeze blowing across from the sports fiel... Continue»
Posted by celcus 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 476  |  
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on the hill

An older bull standing on top of the hill over looking the herd, see the young bull running up the hill. The young one say hey old timer 'hows it going"? The old bull does not reply but snorts. The young one says to the old bull " hey lets run down the hill and fuck us a few heffers". The old bull looks at the young one with a smile and says " why dont we walk down the hill and fuck them all".... Continue»
Posted by prettygirl 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 352  |  
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Who are You and Why?

This is not a story, but hopefully a fun way to determine Who you really are and Why?

Wife who sucks dick or slut that swallows it?
Wife who loves to be eaten or slut who masturbates while being bitten
Wife who wants to be held or slut that likes to be spanked
Wife who complains about the size of her ass or slut that squeals in delight while willingly being taken from behind...

Who are you? Wife, Slut or Slut-Wife... Continue»
Posted by Yes2u4 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 283  |  
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in love with love

what makes us different from a****ls is we form relationships.or at least some of us do.some of us just behave like a****ls.straight in straight out wham bam thank you mam and move on to the next pussy.

well i am not like that.dont get me wrong i love pussy.i love making love to a woman.i like to think of a woman like a christmas present.not all the biggest presents are the best.not always the most expensive ones either.

they need to be unwrapped with care and attention.and then the surprise you were waitng for can be found.just like in a woman.

i love to take my time with women.no ru... Continue»
Posted by 69licklover 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 262  |  
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Wet Edit

Wet Edit

Melody sighed as she unlocked the door of her apartment. Thank God it’s the weekend she thought to herself. In her hands she juggled her briefcase, a shopping bag of groceries and a bottle of wine.

It had been six months since her relationship had ended. She marveled at how far she had come in establishing her independence. She now had her own place, her own things and her much needed freedom. Life as she knew it was good. She sang her favourite line from her favourite Jann Arden song: I am not lonely swear to God I’m just alone.

Melody kicked the door shut and pl... Continue»
Posted by vandolly 4 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 976  |  
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where was I ?

so where was i I'd just come into the room, you were stood at the window looking out over the night sky of venice the breeze coming in to the window and , of yes i'd just eased the dress from your shoulders and was kissing down your neck,
down your back with my hands gently cupping your beautiful breasts.
I turn you slowly and kiss your hips as i'm turning you sliding your panties off your bottom and down as i continue to kiss ,
licking your rose as i move toward your pussy
my hand has glided up between your legs, up between your thighs until it reaches those soft lips , i g... Continue»
Posted by naughty66 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 210  |  
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KARI'S JAIL HOUSE S.W.A.N.K.

* KARI'S, JAILHOUSE S.W.A.N.K.
===============================================================================

------ Hey there "SEXY!" How are you doing? Doing me, when I get out, "No-Doubt!" My pussy's just dripping wet, thinking about it, and your harder then a rock too, I just bet! I'll first get down on my knees, then unzip your jeans! You play with my swollen clit a bit,while I stroke your enormous dick! Then I'll Insert it into my water... Continue»
Posted by JUICYBOX 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 2226  |  
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Great Gifs ---My Favs








[image]http://4gifs.com... Continue»
Posted by DWurks19 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 1645  |  
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What does it mean

Okay, let me say to the many that might say what the fuck. And ask why I am posting this. Well I know that there are some that don't know everything so to "ABC" the sex words, (Just for the ones that don't have a clue. And the credit goes to the "sex dictionary"). >>> Please note some of the key words were left off for obvious reasons of course as some of them were very taboo. <<< Enjoy........

afterglow - n.
The good feeling experienced after sex, especially the feeling of a woman after an orgasm.

I screamed as we both climaxed, then he... Continue»
Posted by hairyseeker69 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 2468  |  
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Images of an Affair

At some point in every marriage one or the other gets a thought that screams
through the brain like the Harley you were stuck next to at the light the other
day on the way home from work.... you know the one, like there is something
differnt about the way your wife has been carrying herself or the way her pussy
feels or smells, just a tiny bit differnt then the way it normaly does, you know....like the times in the past when you used a condom for the lamest reasons
only a new couple can come up with??? now days you dont give a shit because
wearing a piece of laytex or anything for that... Continue»
Posted by mrdettail96 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 550  |  
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Must Read

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.'
The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?'
The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.'
The priest said, 'Rubbing together is the same as putting it in.
You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box.'
The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box.
He paused for a moment and then star... Continue»
Posted by cocoabutter 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 1434  |  
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The man

There once was a man who was in love with his hand.
He sat on the can,
with his dick in his hand,
beating his meat on the porcilan seat.
"wouldn't it be sweet" he said,
"If I could simply get some head"
but insted...
He moved his fat ass from the can to the bed. ... Continue»
Posted by srryipokedyoureyeout 4 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 292  |  
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ghost sex

this is fiction.. it would be funny if it did happen to someone but its still fiction.. hope you like this story

back in the 1920s an old man lived call him hank.. well hank liked all types of sex and had sex all the way up until he died.. he actually came before he went..so now this house is haunted by him and its ok but he is one horny ghost.. this is what happen to me and a friend of mine about two years ago..

we were watching tv and she asked me if we wanted to have sex..(she didnt know about hank).. i told her sure why not..so we went to my room and got naked..i started to kiss her ... Continue»
Posted by bliebent 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  Views: 369  |  
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