Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 9

SUCKING DICK & SWALLOWING JIZZ

I read this profile online one day and it quoted an article about sucking dick and swallowing jizz. I wish that I had seen it many many years ago. I could have shown it to my wife as an inducement for her to give me head, like when we were single and she was trying to persuade me to marry her!
The author is unknown to me, however, I think it's worth sharing, so here it is:
Depression: According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND among people suffering from depression, many felt much better after sucking a Dick. This is because Dick juice contains a protein that the body converts into se... Continue»
Posted by bobapple 7 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The birthday party

It was a favour to Sally that started it all, she asked me to drop off Dan's birthday present. Sally would be at work. So she gave me the key to the flat, the present and a card, and of course instructions for what to do. And I did follow the instructions as far as I could, but fate intervened, more of that later.
At about six pm I met Sally, and went on to the flat. I let myself in with the key and had a look about, in fact I had a good nosey. Dan is quite a hunk and It was quite exciting to wander round his empty flat, I even opened a couple of drawers and had an imaginary conversation ... Continue»
Posted by celcus 8 months ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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The First Time Together

The first time I was fortunate enough to pull down his pants, as clear as day I remember gasping in ecstasy 'You never told me you were so big '. Not only was it a generous size, but a handsome one at that, of really good girth and just perfect in my eyes. I felt like I'd stumbled across some treasure and now that I found it, X would mark the spot and it wouldn't go out of my sight again.

'I don't know when it would have come up in general conversation darling during the time we've spent as friends'. 'Well we've stepped over the friendship zone now and the only way to go is forward' I tho... Continue»
Posted by kinkyirishcouple69 8 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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The Day We Caught the Train - Part 2

Newcastle
Morpeth
Alnmouth
Berwick-upon-Tweed
Dunbar
Edinburgh Waverley

The taxi pulled up in front of Kate's house and we stepped out into the shadow of the house. The air was a little chilly and Kate had picked up a light jacket from the hooks by the front door and carried to the taxi. She commented on how cold the air was but once she'd stepped in to the sunshine she warmed up immediately. I was walking a few steps behind watching her very well proportioned arse, hips and legs sashay casually to the car....and enjoyed it very much. It's nice to observe from a distance what you ... Continue»
Posted by Evile_DNA 8 months ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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The Day We Caught the Train - Part 1

Newcastle
Morpeth
Alnmouth
Berwick-upon-Tweed
Dunbar
Edinburgh Waverley

It was a bright morning and sun flooded the fields at the back of Kate’s house and spilled through the windows warming the dry air and carressing Kate's skin. She was preparing herself for a day out in Berwick and awaiting her Master’s arrival, and put on a loose fitting silk dressing gown. A cool autumn breeze blew in through the open patio door and evidence of this could be seen through the thin dressing gown as Kate’s nipples hardened.
Upon hearing the doorbell she unlocked the front door and Dair, walked ... Continue»
Posted by Evile_DNA 8 months ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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MY UNEXPECTED SEX WITH MY NEW MAID

On that day, I was reading stories in iss in the morning and I listened sweeping sounds at the outside of my house. I was so horny by that time because of the stories effect. I understood that its my maid sweeping outside. I dont have any intentions on her upto then.As I read many maid stories, I wanna try my luck that day.

So, before she enter home I started acting as if am still sl**ping in my bedroom. My dick which is of 7 inches is in its 90° because of stories effect and can be seen through my shorts as there is no underwear inside. She came inside and started sweeping hall and then my... Continue»
Posted by fukkerguy 8 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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I Fear There's Nothing I Can Do....Yeah

Anyone who has ever received an emergency text, knows the feeling of being concerned that something bad has happened, especially if the text was as vague as this one. "Come ovr. @ home. Need ur help!" was all the message said.

The text was from Sally's friend, Julia, who also happens to be my wife's parents' other daughter. I was concerned, as I said before, so, I hopped into my car, and drove the eight-or-so blocks to Julia's apartment. When I got there, her front door was open. I closed and locked it carefully, so that whoever was in there would have a little more trouble getting out. It... Continue»
Posted by LickerLicense 8 months ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Friend's Wife

There are a couple of things you never expect to hear your friend say, "Would you be willing to fuck me wife" is probably at the top of the list. But that's exactly what my friend Brian asked me as we were walking down a fairway playing golf last week. My wife and I were back home for Thanksgiving and I was spending some much needed time away from the f****y when Brian dropped that bomb-shell on me. Brian and I have known each other for about 10 years, and the only contact I have ever had with his wife is when she answers their phone or a few minutes inside of their house when I was picking hi... Continue»
Posted by Mrbigdick2014 8 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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a post, a flash, and a friend. A story that was in


Inspired by actual events.

One night, I was meeting some friends in another town about 30 minutes north of me. I had some extra time on my hands, so I decided this would be a good opportunity to post something I’d be looking to try for a couple months, just needed the right time to do it.

I posted an online personal in a casual encounter site. All I wanted was to find a female willing to flash me, then we’d drive on. A quick, anonymous encounter. She’d tell me where to go, and what she was driving and I’d tell her when I’d be there. I posted my ad, and got on my way.

The first fe... Continue»
Posted by cvilleguy74 8 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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An Honest Lair ( w/ Jamaican dialect)

A thirty something year old woman should have enough confidence and life experience to not only be herself but know what she is about regardless of the heat lusting after her, which is exactly what I am. I am realistic when I find myself in any kind of relationship, men don’t tell their woman if and when they are giving bunn, so at times I might just end up doing my thing and know how things would be if the shoe was on the other foot like it is most times; fair is fair. Three years ago for about a year I was in a relationship with a nice guy, but like all relationship this one had its p... Continue»
Posted by jamaicanjizz 8 months ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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I and robby

When David and I moved from the city to far out in the country, his fears of me being alone on those nights he had to work late, or the times he had to travel began to make him feel uneasy about our decision to move. He tried to get me to agree to a purchase of a gun, and for me to take shooting lessons, but that was entirely out of the question. Still his fears lingered and he did convince me to allow him to get a dog for my protection.

The first place we checked out was the a****l shelter. I figured if we were going to get a dog, why not save one from being put to sl**p. David was quick t... Continue»
Posted by stif266 8 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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negitave 50 shades part one

The day I felt nothing wanted nothing. I looked upon craigslist found an ad that I thought would
fulfill my needs, my wants, ,my desires. It asked for a slave, one to fulfill his needs. I wrote

an email saying I am the slut you are looking for. We spoke we made plans to meet up, at whore

motel paid by the hour. I was told to pull in the garage, remove my cloths and crawl like a dog

up the satirs. Nervouse as all hell pulled in, saying what the hell removing my shirt pacing then

my pants and panties. putting on my collar putting on the things to bound my legs. Finally puting
... Continue»
Posted by Chrissysummer69 8 months ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor  |  
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Renee - The Fiery Rose

(This story about a man saving a girl's life and that girl repaying him seven years later after reconnecting with him.
Not: This is not a taboo story.)

It was seven years ago..

Seven long years on an oddly cold summer night. If you asked me to remember everything about that night, I'd be at a loss, but the one thing I will remember. It was the night I met her. I was walking on a bridge over looking the lake down below. I remember thinking to myself, "Why put a side-walk on this long ass bridge? No one except my dumb-ass would walk it!" It was also that same night I had my final fight wi... Continue»
Posted by epickdickingtime 8 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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European Woman's Pubic Hair Gliding Along my

Whether you've looked at my screen name or read my other posts, you know that I absolutely love a full bush. When I studied in Europe in the late-90's, I was no different. I remember in Switzerland meeting a 22 year old girl, Anya, at a club. She had a very cute face and a tall and curvy body. Shapely breasts with wide hips and a nice juicy ass to match. She was wearing a blouse with those sorts of sleeves that are more like fans or cut flaps so you can easily see her shoulders and underarms if you were looking. And I was looking. She had dark hair and through these fan sleeves (or whatever th... Continue»
Posted by ILoveBigBush 8 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Life imitating art - the 70's partial creampi

I previously blogged this on this site, but it wasn't long enough to allow for a 'story.' So I'm adding some funny dialogue that I found in my journal at the time of this awesome tryst, not present in the original blog entry. When I was in college in the md-late 1990's, I bought a vintage porn flick on DVD called Bel Amie (1976). It starred Harry Reems (of Deep Throat fame) and featured a very hot scene with Reems and a gorgeous African actress (whose role was a sort of Nubian Princess). She fucks Reems and it was obviously a genuinely good lay because it ends with her riding him, she pops of... Continue»
Posted by ILoveBigBush 8 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Photo Shoot In Tights

I had a phone call from my agency saying a customer wanted to book me for a glamour / topless photo shoot and he had booked me for an hour.
The pay was good and as it was a Sunday it wouldn’t interfere with my work, I told them I would do it and was given the details, I was to go to a engineering company the following Sunday at 2 pm.
It did appear to be a bit strange but I set off on my own with a bag of clothes, my boyfriend was playing football so could not drive me for once.
I turned up at the company on an industrial estate and rang the security door; a guy answered and showed me in.
... Continue»
Posted by 10PADDY10 8 months ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Cumming from just looking at a beautiful vagina

This may seem far-fetched, but I had the unique opportunity of putting a pet theory to the test. When I was a teenager and in college I often thought that given enough (or even a little) time I could ejaculate just by going down on a woman, assuming her vagina was attractive enough. And, let's face it, as a lifelong pussy lover, there have been very few vaginas that I didn't find aesthetically pleasing. Of course, invariably performing cunnilingus typically resulted in 69-ing, intercourse, or at least a token handjob. So the opportunity to test this theory was always (happily) interrupted ... Continue»
Posted by ILoveBigBush 9 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Friends: Dear Diary

Friends: Deleted Scenes - Dear Diary

"Now where did she hide those damn candlesticks?" Rachel asked herself.

Chandler was moving in with Monica, and that meant that Rachel was moving out. She was very happy for them, even though she and Monica had been passively fighting over a pair of candlesticks that each girl thought she owned. Rachel was alone in the apartment so she decided to do a little searching. She went into Monica's room and quietly began looking through some boxes in her closet.

Near the bottom of one box, she found a book. It had a small flimsy lock and the words across ... Continue»
Posted by dudeman_85 9 months ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Night club quickie with my best friend

To start off with, I better paint you all with a good mental image of this girl. Her name is Sarah, and she is a total babe. She was a short girl with long wavy brown hair, beautiful hazel eyes, and the pinkest little pink lips. Her body was incredible, such perfect silky smooth pale skin. She had such petite little breasts, a slim waist, and a booty of a Latino woman.

So it all started with Sarah breaking up with her boyfriend. I decided to take her out clubbing to take her mind off things. We have always been close, but always totally platonic. So I never could have imagined that night e... Continue»
Posted by AussieBob93 9 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Requirements (English, Japanese) (英語、日本語)

Being far apart from my girlfriend means that we usually leave Skype on constantly. If our ISPs charged us for gigabytes used, we'd be fucked... luckily that's not a problem. Part of being in a long distance relationship is finding ways to spend time together, and in this way, we make it work.

Being on mic and camera for long periods of time can lead to various levels of intimacy. This can be as innocent as a kiss or as naughty as both of us imagining that we're fucking each other until the two of us cum. Somewhere in between are the long hours we sl**p together with camera and mic runnin... Continue»
Posted by japanesesextoyguru 9 months ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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