Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 9

Wir Wöllten Nur Reden (We Wanted Only to Talk

People will normally try to avoid going to the post office, but, that little orange sticker that says you missed a package makes it a whole different story. Fortunately, the post office is only a few miles from my house. Unfortunately, the line was almost to the door. I knew I was in for a long wait, so I pulled out my phone, and checked the recent status updates. Looking up every so often to move with the line, I apparently lost track of what was going on, because I heard a familiar voice say, “Reading anything interesting?”

I looked up, into Hannah's radiant blue eyes. I wasn't unhappy to... Continue»
Posted by LickerLicense 7 months ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor  |  
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My First Time In school(Based On A True Story)

I'm not a great story teller but I'll try.

So it was my senior year in High school. Me and my friends just got done taking our senior exams. Being seniors after the exams we got to go home early. But I decided to stay a little and say my goodbye's to all the underclassman etc. I pretty much knew everyone in school. I was also cool with everybody....Except this one bitch, which we'll call Jezebel. I knew her and nearly all my classmates since elementary school. I had beef with many close friends growing up, but we all eventually became cool overtime. But no, not this bitch.... Continue»
Posted by EbonyLust 7 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Penetrative Activity

In the wee hours of Saturday morning, just a few nights ago, I woke up with a stiff cock in my cunt . I'd been out partying, and my first thought was that some guy had roofied my drink, taken me home, and was having his way with me. Which I don't mind: if a chick's gonna be out drinking, it's her responsibility to keep and eye on her drinks. I hadn't, so I accepted the hot, in-and-out thrusting by wrapping my arms around his shoulders and back, while raising my legs and drawing them back, so he could invade my supine body even deeper.

I breathed in his intoxicating male scent, and enjoyed h... Continue»
Posted by Stevie_Notnicks 7 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Huge cumshot: show it off or play it down?

The huge cumshot - is it a source of pride or something to be downplayed? I would think most men (and perhaps most women) would see it as an asset/attraction. However, as a lifelong huge shooter, I kind of went through a strange journey. When I got my first handjob this was the first time I 'came' in front of a woman. Her name was Anna; she was my age and not that experienced but I was not the only guy she stroked off (and saw cum). I was however, the biggest shooter. I had nothing to compare my cumshot to except what I saw in pornos so I thought my ejaculation was 'normal' at the time. We wer... Continue»
Posted by ILoveBigBush 7 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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The next day - She got it again on a boat (Part 2)

Memories of a girlfriend from the 80's - The next day

To get the full picture, you should first read "How we met - She got the magic juice (Part 1)"

I made breakfast for both of us in the morning.
I had some shopping to do across the border which was about an hour by car from my home and I offered to drive her home which was about a 10 minutes drive and on my way.
However, she convinced me that we should spent the day together and she would go with me across the border.

We drove by her flat to pick up her passport and I waited in her living room when she went to bed room to change c... Continue»
Posted by drbimmer1965 7 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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The Artist

1975 London,England,Sally Granger,19,Dark-haired,blue eyes,has recently joined a company that collects rare and unusual art pictures-what many would regard as 'avant garde'-many of them quite 'shocking' to some people - Roger Havers has sold many of these paintings to art galleries all over the world-but there is one artist who has always eluded him -Cedric Winterbottom,the eccentric 70 year old artist from Rustington,west sussex-he has refused to sell a single painting of his beautiful landscapes of the south downs painted back in the 30's-a recent BBC 2 arts programme had made this obscure l... Continue»
Posted by burningbottom 7 months ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
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church story

church story
by rock clifford

I was raised in a very religious home, my dad was a minister and church was mandatory. Especially Sunday Morning. It wasn't all bad though, as it was also where some of the hottest girls my age attended church and we had a pretty nice sized group of k**s around the same age. We usually had fun when we were together, even at church. I remember In junior high after vacation bible school one day ending up in a little broom closet with two of the most popular and certainly hottest girls in my school playing truth or dare and french kissing with both of the... Continue»
Posted by rocliff69 8 months ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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REAL Asian Massage Parlor Stories #1

Man do I have many to share with you.I have to start somewhere but I am 55 yrs old and have been going to Asian massage parlors since my older b*****r stared taking me when I was 13 for my 8th grade graduation present. But I still cant get enough of them!.I seek out the full service places,who care about hand jobs,that's for pussies and I can jerk myself off if I want..Now that I'm a bit older I have a routine and a local place about 20mins away I go to. I usually take half a Viagra so I get my money's worth and take a few hits on the vaporizer to make it interesting. Its always exciting and ... Continue»
Posted by regional 8 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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From Sub to Dom: My “Cthulhu” risen.

For those that have seen our videos, you will now Kutwijf is a perfect Asian Fuck Toy. 160 cm and 55Kg, open minded, submissive and devoted to her husband. But things had become a bit boring; she would fuck on demand, kitchen, bed, even in public, but after 10 minutes and a few positions, she would tell me to hurry up.

Most times I would just wank and get it over with. Other times I would wank several times per day and not be able to cum. Then there were the late night porn sessions into the early hours while she was lying next to me. In all honesty I was addicted to porn and it was beginn... Continue»
Posted by kutwijf 8 months ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor  |  
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The Woman who f***ed Me to Ejaculate Inside of Her

I may have recounted the story of the BBW who f***ed me to cum inside her as a comment on another story. But I was re-reading my diary from 1997 when I had this experience and I can now add details which are now refreshed after having read my entry from Sunday, February 8, 1997. I was a sophomore in college at the time.

To be sure, I've had some awesome pussies that I've had to be careful with in regards to not cumming when it came to thin females too. But I still think that there's something different and magical about the BBW's vagina.

I had met this BBW, Christine, and we got sexual... Continue»
Posted by ILoveBigBush 8 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Hard at Work


This naughty little story, although entirely fictional, is based on/inspired by real life experiences I've had.
Enjoy reading it, I certainly did writing it! :P lol


So I've been working this office job for a while now. I started out when I was 18 and ever since then I've been a busy hard-working worker. I shan't bore you with the ins-and-outs of the job (who wants to read about such a thing on a porn site?! lol).

Anyway, having been working hard for a few years, I figured I was more than deserving of a promotion. There was just one big thing standing in my way, Mr. Richards. The bo... Continue»
Posted by ms_cream_puff 8 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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I couldn't help it

A lazy Sunday morning in bed. We are snuggling. Back to back. Butt to butt. I woke up first. He's still sl**ping. I turn around and lean over and kiss him on the neck. I look down and laugh to myself. When I kissed him, the last cum from last night's session dribbled out from his limp penis. I gingerly slip out of the bed, so that he doesn't wake up. I pull out the drawer on the stand by my side of the bed and find the new strap-on. This one is hot pink and 8 inches with pink straps. It's the same size as he is, maybe a quarter of an inch longer. I like that. He doesn't know that ... Continue»
Posted by Cunumdrum920 8 months ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor  |  
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Vegas Mayhem

When I stepped off the plane in Las Vegas I was met with a cold wind. I never dreamed Vegas would be cold in the winter. It is in the desert it is suppose to be hot. I was dressed for warm weather and so was my girlfriend I will refer to as "Tattoo Girl". She has eight tattoos on various areas of her body and three of them have my name in them. The biggest, on her right shoulder simply says "Marks Girl". (not my real name but close enough) We rushed to a taxi and quickly headed to our hotel. It is getting colder so we buy some hoodies in the Monte Carlo Hotel, gift shop to keep us warm.

In ... Continue»
Posted by alittlebashfull 8 months ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Proving there's no such thing as too loose a

Years ago I met a BBW online named Jaycee and we chatted a few times before I drove to her apartment to meet her. I was so eager to meet her because in addition to being a BBW, she told me she was a natural redhead and never shaved her strawberry blonde bush. Jaycee was turned on by my declared length and girth. We decided in our chats that if we were as turned on by each other in person as we were online, we would 69 and fuck. I know it may not be the most romantic thing to plot out the sex act ahead of time, but I actually liked avoiding the unknown in favor of the closest approximation ... Continue»
Posted by ILoveBigBush 8 months ago  |  Categories: Anal, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Ever have sex with two women in one day without wa

I was just thinking back to one of the luckiest nights of my life, and I was curious if anyone has ever experienced a particular aspect that I did. It was St. Patrick's Day 2001. I was single and, of course, the revelry started early in the day - I think about 10 AM. I went to a party thrown by a nice girl named Kim. Kim was cute and curvy and, befitting St. Patrick's day, had a beautiful head of Irish strawberry blond hair; I was a friend of a friend and we had never met. I had the good sense to get to know the host, and by noon or 12:30, Kim was giving me the proverbial 'tour' of her apartme... Continue»
Posted by ILoveBigBush 8 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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3D Printing for Pleasure

3D Printing for Pleasure by [user]sexcadpro [/user]

I am old enough to remember when the VCR ushered in a golden age of pornography. 3D printers may be starting a golden age of sex toys. 3D printers can create custom sized or engraved toys in the privacy of your own home (or local library, hackerspace, or service provider). Regardless of your exact fetish, there are a three steps you follow each time you create your own 3D printed sex toy.

Step 1: 3D Model

Every 3D print starts with a 3D model. You can create your own 3D model if you have CAD software like A... Continue»
Posted by sexcadpro 8 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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MY HOSTEL LIFE

Since I don’t have any boyfriend in my life even till this age, this has made me and my dreams quite wild. Adding to my wildness I have never had any sex experience as well before, I’m all new, so my story gonna be FANTASY only. I hope you people like, I have so many wild fantasies which I want to share with you people through ISS but only if I’ll get good response on my first story. I just want sex, a good sex, doesn’t matter whether I get it by Men or Women. So this was my Intro, I know a bit long but since it is my first time, it was required.

Now, wasting no more time, I come to the sto... Continue»
Posted by Aneesha88 8 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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MY BOSS KUSUM

This is a incident which happened two years back when I joined a new firm.the story is about my boss mrs kusum chaddha.after and before this incident I had lesbian sex with many women who were younger than me.in college I did lesbian sex with girls but this was the best and most memorable was with mrs kusum chaddha who is older than me.By her experience and perfection she gave me lovely orgasm.she was the best.I was new in firm I was not much familiar to her as she was from different department.she was in her mid-forties,busty lady,5,10 tall,fair,good looking figure 40-32-38.she was a mother o... Continue»
Posted by Aneesha88 8 months ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Miranda

Two years ago I was working for an advertising agency. I had been an executive for several years when Miranda was hired. She was very bubbly, perky, voluptuous 23 year old. I have always had a weakness for curvy women. Miranda was a temp hire, she was filling a position by another woman who was one maternity leave. Soon after she started working there, several young men tried to woo her. On occasion I would use my dry sarcastic humor to scare away Miranda's would be suitors.
Miranda assisted me with monitoring the frequency and time of when our advertising ads aired. We met daily at 4:30pm d... Continue»
Posted by Daleharris 8 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Surprise in Boston ,Chapter 2 The Christmas Gift

Chapter 2 The Christmas gift


This Christmas was on a Friday and since I had vacation time coming and an invitation to visit f****y on the holidays I took the week off before Christmas. On Sunday December 20th the whole f****y went up to a Holiday party at my b*****rs house. He had one every year with f****y and friends. Since it was so warm this year the party spilled onto the porch outside and the menu was more summer than winter. My Niece Heather AKA April was there and made sure to give me a big hug and kiss when I arrived. She introduced me to her friend Sarah, a petit blonde blue-eye... Continue»
Posted by luvstolickpussy 8 months ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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