Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 80
This incident happened during my first year in college. It was a Thursday night, which meant that most people at my state school were out partying, drinking, and having a good time. Unfortunately, I had to take an exam the next day, so I was stuck in my dorm, studying.
I was busy reading in my floor's common room until well after midnight, when all the students eventually returned from their nights of debauchery at one of the campus frat houses or wherever they had been. Most of them were, of course, d***k off their asses. They were stumbling back to their rooms either singing too loudly, l... Continue»
Just left a bomb party with a celeb party. Fucked this guy in the bathroom. His wife was outside. Made him cum back to back with my fat wet juicy sloppy pussy. He said his wife has never made him do that. I sucked his dick while stroking it with my tougue as I rubbed his balls. I then began to suck his balls while jacking him off. He panted and panted as I licked his balls. What white balls he had...hahaha.. he said he always wanted a black bitch.. my mouth got juicy when he said that. Made him cum so hard it skeeted hard all over my face. O got it up again by rubbing his balls gently, I lai... Continue»
The Italian job 22
Croatia asked me to go back and fine tune a few things then they would pay me at the end of that visit, they had already paid me some money which actually covered all my expenses for the job but I had no objection and it would be good to renew old acquaintances,
I told Ellie “can I come with you?” she said “if it is only a short trip I would love to see Croatia, I have never been, they tell me the thousand Islands area is beautiful” she said “the Istra peninsular is just at the top end of the thousand Islands” I explained “so when I am done in Umag we can make our way d... Continue»
An October to Remember
The last Friday in September started out as any other workday. My work buddy Bill and I drove to an Eastern New York city to make a delivery, We are team drivers for a local trucking company. Being out so long, we decided to stop for dinner as we would not return to the yard until after 6PM. As I got out of our truck I felt a pop in my belly. Having an umbilicus hernia I was used to strange things happening to my navel. We ate, and headed back to the yard. As we drove back, I started having pain behind my belly button. By the time we returned I couldn’t even stand up ... Continue»
Last night I went out with my friends in the city. We all me at a bar around 10pm. It was my friend Jacks birthday. We had been drinking for a while, making Jack do shots. At around 1 am he got really sick. I had been talking with this really cute girl. My friends were leaving to take Jack home. I felt bad staying behind but I was trying to score.
The girl's name was Samantha. she was pretty d***k and kept calling me Jake. I didn't care I just wanted to get some action. I had given her all the bullshit lines about be a stockbroker and that I lived in the city. She told me she was a school t... Continue»
Sally's brain activated before her body. A switch came on inside her head, a rusty and disused one, like forcing an old circuit breaker back up. Must open eyes, she thought, but can't, they're too heavy. She felt her face pressed into the surface as if it had been in that one spot for years. She could feel the dents in her skin, the old pool of dribble at the corner of her mouth. Where was she, she tried to remember. Boom boom, throbbing in her head. Aah, came the quiet moan from her throat, her mouth as dry as sandpaper. What was she doing before this, she tried to remember but thinking was l... Continue»
How to Eat Pussy and have fun
Hey, I have a lot of respect for all you guys who like to eat pussy because there are too few of you out there. And
I'm not the only woman who says this. Furthermore, some of you guys who are giving it the old college try are not
doing too well, so maybe this little lesson will help you out. When a woman finds a man who gives good head, she's
found a treasure she's not going to let go of too quickly. This is one rare customer and she knows it. She won't even
tell her girlfriends about it or that guy will become the most popular man in town. So, remember, most... Continue»
An old man in Mississippi was sitting on his front porch watching the sun rise. He sees the neighbor’s k** walk by carrying something big under his arm.
He yells out "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"
Boy yells back "Roll of chicken wire."
Old man says "What you gonna do with that?"
Boy says "Gonna catch some chickens."
Old man yells "You damn fool, you can’t catch chickens with chicken wire!"
Boy just laughs and keeps walking.
That evening at sunset the boy comes walking by and to the old man’s surprise he is dragging behind him the chicken wire with about 30 chicken
The Italian Job 21
I awoke the following morning alone, I jumped in the shower and went for breakfast, they were all there, Ellie, Sonia, Yvonne, Christina and Maria who was looking decidedly more cheerful, Hazel was fussing around and I was reminded that I had not done her of late,
I decided I should rectify that as well as checking something that was bugging me, I arranged to meet her in the camera room “checking up on all your ladies?” she said as we got into the room and closed the door, “lock it” I said to her “I want to see the pool camera shortly before Ellie was attacked yesterday” ... Continue»
Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language.
He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his cock and starts masturbating.
The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the fuck is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand ... Continue»
Have you and another given each other a mind blowing orgasm while fully dressed???????????????
I worked in this kitchen in Fl. and there was this waitress that would always brush her large tits and plump ass against me when ever she would pass me in the kitchen area. So we talked flirtatiously to one another for about two weeks.
One night out back taking a break she comes out and we get into a heated conversation. She noticed I had a massive hard-on and she said "I wish I could ride that cock right now". I had on a pair of loose chef pants; she had on a pair of black tight cotton/polyest... Continue»
This post is about how, to some of you, size DOES matter…a lot! As you can see, I am at the other end of the spectrum at 4.5 inches. Does this bother me? Yes and no. Let me start at the beginning and I think you’ll see what I mean…
My first girlfriend was very devoted to me as a person but unfortunately she couldn’t really feel much when we made love. Over time since she knew what a high sex drive I had she would take dick and start jerking me off. After a couple of minutes she always said her arm was getting tired which meant that she wanted me to finish myself off. This became the norm af... Continue»
The Italian Job 20
The night went well with Maria giving her usual performance, she was staring at me as she took the guys in turn as they lined up to fill her with spunk, it was running down her legs in rivers by the time they had finished and got bored with her,
I was surprised because neither Sonia or Yvonne got involved with anyone else and there were plenty of potential suitors but they didn’t seem to want to know, Christina was still a bit sore in her arse but she took some guy in the pool that I think both eased the problem with her arse and took her mind off the problem because she... Continue»
It was 3 O'clock in the morning when i was woken up by my boyfriend Alex kissing my neck 'whats this for?' i asked slightly breathless, my pussy already hot, i loved it when he kissed my neck. 'I woke up, couldn't sl**p and...' he kissed me again and i felt his erection press againt me, unhindered by clothing 'I'm hard' he said.
He pulled my nightgown over my head so that i was naked just like him. he began to kiss downmy body, sucking at nipples taking them deep into his mouth, then carrying on down, he reached my pulls and licked my lips he parted them with his fingers and found my w
The moon was full, bathing the bay and surrounding suburbs in a cerulean hue. The hot and humid air of the summer's night was still and silent, save for the crashing of the waves in the distance.
A careful eye would have spied the lanky silhouette of Joe scaling the wall effortlessly and dropping into the grounds without a sound. The moon illuminated the grounds of the house allowing Joe to scan the scene perfectly. The large manor house slouched no more than fifty yards away, the lower windows and doors boarded up. Boarded up but accessible, yes, always accessible.
The garden consist... Continue»
Learning to fuck like a porn star
For those who have read parts 1 & 2 of this little ‘saga, you’ll know that at a photo session in 1985 I met an ex-porn actress called Nikki. We hit it off and ended up going out for 2-3 months. Like most 24 yr old guys at the time, I thought I had hit the ‘jackpot’ in meeting a porn actress – GUARANTEED great sex and, if I was REALLY lucky, a route in to the world of MAKING PORN! Well, not all was what I thought it would be....
Nikki had already shown me her scene from one of the films she had been in. She played a receptionist at a health farm who gets ... Continue»
Kent held his book in one hand and sc****d dirt off the side of his sneaker with a stick he held in the other. Deciding to read his assigned chapter on a bench in front of the English building on the nicest day of the year was a big mistake, Kent thought. Waaaaaaaaaaay too easy to get distracted out here.
A deep purr caught Kent’s ear and grew louder as an old pick-up truck rounded the corner and slid into one of the student parking spaces. Dried mud was splattered across the entire truck like it was a mobile Jackson Pollack canvas. Kent trained his eye on the vehicle as the driver’s door ... Continue»
Had long stressful day today so instead of my usual quick shower I decided to run a nice hot bubble bath.
The water was quite hot and it got very steamy in my small bathroom but it was too cold outside to open a window and since there was nobody home I just left the door slightly ajar.
I was about 5mins into a nice soak when I heard the front door open and my younger b*o come in with one of his pals from football.
I heard them head straight for the kitchen so didnt bother closing the door to the bathroom.
After another few mins I heard some1 come up the stairs..I was about to jump up and ... Continue»
The Italian Job 19
As I mentioned in 18 I was at this time booked to do a job in Croatia for a company on the Istra Peninsular, they were nice people and I am adding this to the Italy project because it fits in with my work in Italy, I flew from Bolognia to Trieste then they picked me up and drove me round to Umag where the factory was sited, they had an old machine that was controlled by a digital system and they wanted converted to a computer control with animated displays etc., I won’t bore you with too many details but the work had been planned to take place over a 4 week period, so the c... Continue»
The other week when i was on a night out with my pals, i had run short of money, so i went to the bank machine alone. There were a group of girls walking towards me making quite a bit of noise and one girl was carrying her heels. She had a short dress on and bare legs.
I was at the cash machine and as they passed me, i asked her why she had not got her shoes on. She looked at me and asked if i could fasten them for her, as she was a little d***k and could not fasten the buckle. Being the gentleman that i am, i bent down and she gave me her shoes. She put her foot on my knee and was holdi... Continue»