Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 80

It's All About Sex (Honestly)

I saw this on someone else page and they're always interesting so I figured what the hell...



What’s your favorite place to be kissed?
Lips, but I enjoy being kissed all over...

What’s your favorite color lingerie?
Personally, I don't wear it, however, black or red, if it's on a lady...

What color panties are you wearing?
Blue Boxers, not into ladies underwear, unless it'#s on a lady...lol...

What’s your favorite sexual position?
Woman on top...

Do you prefer strawberries with whipped cream or chocolate?
Whipped cream, defo...

Do you prefer sex beneath the sheets or o... Continue»
Posted by muttleyh 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 241

It's all about Sex....Really

I saw this on someone else page and they're always interesting so I figured what the hell...



What’s your favorite place to be kissed?
everywhere...i love kissing

What’s your favorite color lingerie?
lingerie??? if someone else is wearing it...black

What color panties are you wearing?
no panties.....red, white n blue boxer...happy 4th :p

What’s your favorite sexual position?
Doggie

Do you prefer strawberries with whipped cream or chocolate?
i'm more than enough chocolate

Do you prefer sex beneath the sheets or on top?
on top

Do you prefer sex with the lights on or... Continue»
Posted by bb4w 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 212  |  
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My b*****r Fucked me

On Feb 21 last week after I have finished my tuition at about 6.30 pm and all three pupils have left my house and I took a quick shower and cooked for my dinner. I was alone at home and my husband have gone to singapore for business needs. After watching TV for some time it was nearing 9 pm and I was having my dinner. My phone rings and when I took the phone it was the girl student and she have some more doubts about tommorows exam and she was afraid of exams. So I agree to clear her doubts and told her to come to my home. It was 9.15 pm and after 5mins she knocks at my door and I opened the d... Continue»
Posted by simpleunions 3 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 8496  |  
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"SpUnk coCK!"-LESLEY



when your a boy and your name is leslie-not female version ie lesley,
your first day at school is a real nightmare!-and it dont get any better
all the way through your school years.
boys are never gay but they sure get up to some strange games ,which if
any one else did would be "sooooo gay" i was teased and bullied a bit all
through my teen years,even though i soon learned too use my fists if things
got to "

crazy,i enjoyed hiding behind a "soft" image to see how far the guys
would go with "lesley anne" the S,punk rocker,yeah i was into punk... Continue»
Posted by spunkrokr 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Shemales  |  Views: 335  |  
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Development of a Lesbian - Bonus

Hey everyone. I got a pretty good response to my last story so I'm going to post something I discovered on my old hard drive - my writings from when I was about 14-16. When I was younger I used to write what was on my mind, so here it is! Also, if you notice any differences in this story and the last, its because I exaggerated a lot in the last one. This is all true however. (Note: I had a very odd writing style because I thought nobody would ever read it)

AAARGH! I WANT SOMEONE TO EAT ME OUT NOW!!!

I'M SICK OF PORN. I WANT FUCKING!

My tits are getting bigger now. They are so s... Continue»
Posted by helenaserret 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 394  |  
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FAQs About Me

I get heaps of questions about me, so I'll answer as many as I can here.

1. Do you do guys?

As a general rule, no. I do appreciate a nice set of balls every now and again, however, but I don't like fucking men.

2. Do you do girls?

Yes. Of all ages.

3. What are your views on i****t?

Depends. Heterosexual i****t is just wrong, with chances of deformed babies and the illnesses and the like. Homosexual i****t is alright by me, because if two consenting people want to have sex with each other in a safe way without any chance of having a deformed c***d -... Continue»
Posted by helenaserret 3 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 393  |  
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Kirk & Erin

[user]http://xhamster.com/user/teengirerin[/user]

I want to give out a little information before I write this story! My name is Kirk Parmer and I moved to Texas 6 years ago in April and I came from Alaska. I was born and raised in Alaska for 15 years and that is why I have the username Alaska. The xxx is because I like porn! Now this story is titled Kirk & Erin because this is like a parody of the biblical story of Adam & Eve. This story is going to be better though because its going to have sex in it! I hope you will enjoy this and please comment!
__________________________________... Continue»
Posted by alaskaxxx 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 247  |  
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Clothespin Girl Superhero

Once a upon a time, a long long time ago yesterday in fact. Today I began my plan to catch the elusive one. The one who rescues clothespins from clotheslines. The plan was a simple one to string up 7 clotheslines facing the wind knowing that if she was near that she might hear the cries of the clothespins. Now that the 7 lines were up I just had to wait and hope the wind would do it's job and carry the cries of the clothespins. This quest started years ago when I first put a clothespin on my penis. And today was going to be the day that I'd finally meet my fantasy girl. With the 7,000 clothesp... Continue»
Posted by janthony57 3 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 220  |  
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you can learn a lot from a tutor

It was my third year of university, in the field of immunology, and i was sitting in my tutorial. It was my only class for the friday, so i was relatively awake.the course itself wasnt overly difficult, it was merely a lot to remember. I was sitting in my tutorial, looking at my fellow classmates, nothing over the top, just average people, more guys than anything. there was however a rather cute asian girl sitting to my left. with long flowing black hair, framing a slightly tanned face. her tits were small, as most asian girls are, her legs however were heaven, long, slender and completely hai... Continue»
Posted by jpvk123 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 808  |  
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How Miwako Lost her Virginity at age 15. (100% tru

well this story wont be nice n sext and if your tryin to rub one out
forget it. Lol this wil just be an awkward story.. I was fifteen at
the time. My boyfriend of nine months was s*******n. Hmmm let
me tell about our first date first (lol sorry) Chris was my
boyfriends name. Chris came over to my house and me and him sat
in my houses' extra rooms. We played video games. Doing shy little
stuff. We was still fifteen and s*******n. Then when it was time
for him to go we hugged... Then kissed. We kissed for like five
minutes i swear. Before this kiss i was a nice little virgin that has
ne... Continue»
Posted by miwako 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 2216  |  
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Wasted a good cup of coffee lol

first off i havent actually slept yet ive been up all night playing video games since aound 6am when the power came back online and amazingly i could get online. anyways just a few moments ago i was jerking off while drinking my 3rd cup of coffee. half way through my drink i thought to myself that i could shoot my load into my coffee and drink it. dont know why i wanted to do that but anyways i held the cup near my cock as i kept coming closer to blowing my load. soon enough im cumming in my cup. i tucked my cock back in my shorts and looked at the floating jizz and decided not to drink it aft... Continue»
Posted by Squirt_Luver 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 279  |  
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Adventures at the Orgy Motel. Part 1

Roots Motel Ch 1
By: Friskee_cpl (friskee_cpl@yahoo.com.au)

It takes hours to write these stories but only seconds to vote and send a message. Thanks to all of those wonderful people who send messages. It does make a difference. Please enjoy.

You help fuck a friend's wife and cum all in her cunt and you end up buying their motel. As Ned Kelly said "Such is Life".

Hello I am Marcus Franklin. I own a small motel in the Riverina and I spend a fair amount of my time in the bedroom. Well bedrooms to be precise. I have just bought a 20 room motel that I will be running with my wife Sharon... Continue»
Posted by friskee_cpl 3 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 791  |  
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Little Johnny

Little Johnny was taking a shower with his grandma. He casually asked,"Grandma whats that?" She quickly replied, "That's my beaver". Little Johnny didnt say another word.
Two days later he was taking a shower with his mom. Little Johnny asked,"Mommy whats that?" She replied, "Well Johnny thats my beaver."
Little Johnn...y thought for a bit and said,"Well grandmas beaver must be dying her tongues hanging out!!"
... Continue»
Posted by jabig6 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 310  |  
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Who's the boss?

“OK,” Ann said as she bustled about packing her bags. “Now you know what to do and where everything is, don’t you?”
“Yes dear.” I replied. My voice must have given my thoughts away. She came over and stood in front of me.
“And don’t adopt that tone of voice with me Robert,” she said sternly, her smile belying the irritation she was trying to inject. “You know what a useless sod you are without me around to organise you.”
I reached out to slide my hand up the inside of her shapely legs but she pushed it away.
“Don’t think that will help you either,” she said. “I’ll be gone about a wee... Continue»
Posted by samvimes 3 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 307  |  
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They Walk Among Us


I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. Then she asked me, "Has your plane arrived yet?" . . .

They Walk Among Us!
===================


Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old, still working fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on It saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it". For three days the fridge sat there without eve... Continue»
Posted by Tilly01 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 2350  |  
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A memorable pussy eating session!

Fingerme on xHampster talks about her squirting and the fun of telling people about it - I loved reading about her squirting. That's special and hot. So she inspired me to tell a true story about my first and only squirting experience with a woman. I was on a business trip to Miami in a new job and a female co-worker named Lois was "training" me. She was hitting on me throughout the trip and I didn't like her and didn’t want to get into complications of mixing sex and work. So did my best to avoid things for the two weeks we were going to be on the road. It was winter and we had the option of ... Continue»
Posted by nvision 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 409  |  
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IN THE MOOD TO FUCK!!!!

ABRI JA'NAE HER NAME IS, BODY SO SILKY AND SMOOTH. OF COURSE SHE HAD ONE OF HER REGULAR DAYS SCHOOL, WORK, AND HOME.SHE WAKES UP FRM THE NAP SHE HAS TAKEN NOTICED TO SEE TIME HAS GONE BY.BRYAN COMES HOME IN NOTICES HER CLOTHES ARE THROWN ON THE FLOOR.HE QUITELY STANDS OVER HER WITH HIS 10 1/2 INCH DICK IN HER FACE, SHE OPENS HER MOUTH FOR A MIDNIGHT TREAT.GASPING FOR AIR HE HAS HIS DICK DOWN HER THROAT.SALIVA FROM HIS DICK COVERS HER MOUTH AND FACE.HE TOSS HER JUICY ROUND ASS OVER SO THAT HE CAN GET A GOOD LOOK AT HER PUSSY LIPS, OR AS SHE SAY HER MOHOGANY TREASURES!HER ASS JIGGLES SAO MUCH T... Continue»
Posted by Mahoganykisses 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 289  |  
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my new life...part 6

after awhile i fell asl**p....still stuck in my bondage..-----While she slept this is what was happening with her master------i slowley opened the door.i looked around not seeing the slave i loved so much...i went all around the house and...nothing.i went looking for her.i went past the drive way and saw a little drop of water towards the left of the drive way...it was one of her tears...i had the sudden urge to jolt that way,and i did just that. i went about 1/4 of a mile befor i came across drag marks and then tire traks.....oh shit.....she was looking for me..... she didnt run for fr... Continue»
Posted by sex-is-my-obsesion 3 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 531  |  
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my new life...part 7

'niether is he! 'alexandras master yells.alexandra and i turn to see our beloved masters.' master!' we shout.'dont get so full of yourself leon' james laughed'same to you cathrine' said kiki. james walks up to me and puts the gun to my head.'tisk tisk,i still cant belive you threw it all away.' james sighed. james slowly reloaded the gun,wich was already loaded, to give it more power.he put it back to my head.'NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!DONT HURT HER!!!' alexandra scremt thrashing about in his bonds.' HA! isnt this sweet!alexandra has fallin in love with her!HA!'james laughed.kiki laughed her gun pointed ... Continue»
Posted by sex-is-my-obsesion 3 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 238  |  
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my new life...part 5

james laughed at my expresion. ' mistress kiki, bring in slut alexandra, if you will.'the door opened and a woman wereing a black lether bikini , with chains running down her sides , was pulling a thick rope. on the end of the rope was a metal circle incased in thick rope and a man with long hair was tangled in the middle like i was.'slut you must obey me just as much so as mistress kiki. she says do something,do it,or be brutally beaten.' then mistress kiki pulled on one of my ropes with suddenly put me in a bentover position.the she pulled up a chair and removed her bikini bottoms showing h... Continue»
Posted by sex-is-my-obsesion 3 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 271  |  
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