Sex Humor Porn Stories
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REAL Asian Massage Parlor Stories #1

Man do I have many to share with you.I have to start somewhere but I am 55 yrs old and have been going to Asian massage parlors since my older b*****r stared taking me when I was 13 for my 8th grade graduation present. But I still cant get enough of them!.I seek out the full service places,who care about hand jobs,that's for pussies and I can jerk myself off if I want..Now that I'm a bit older I have a routine and a local place about 20mins away I go to. I usually take half a Viagra so I get my money's worth and take a few hits on the vaporizer to make it interesting. Its always exciting and ... Continue»
Posted by regional 6 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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From Sub to Dom: My “Cthulhu” risen.

For those that have seen our videos, you will now Kutwijf is a perfect Asian Fuck Toy. 160 cm and 55Kg, open minded, submissive and devoted to her husband. But things had become a bit boring; she would fuck on demand, kitchen, bed, even in public, but after 10 minutes and a few positions, she would tell me to hurry up.

Most times I would just wank and get it over with. Other times I would wank several times per day and not be able to cum. Then there were the late night porn sessions into the early hours while she was lying next to me. In all honesty I was addicted to porn and it was beginn... Continue»
Posted by kutwijf 6 months ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor  |  

The Woman who f***ed Me to Ejaculate Inside of Her

I may have recounted the story of the BBW who f***ed me to cum inside her as a comment on another story. But I was re-reading my diary from 1997 when I had this experience and I can now add details which are now refreshed after having read my entry from Sunday, February 8, 1997. I was a sophomore in college at the time.

To be sure, I've had some awesome pussies that I've had to be careful with in regards to not cumming when it came to thin females too. But I still think that there's something different and magical about the BBW's vagina.

I had met this BBW, Christine, and we got sexual... Continue»
Posted by ILoveBigBush 6 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Hard at Work

This naughty little story, although entirely fictional, is based on/inspired by real life experiences I've had.
Enjoy reading it, I certainly did writing it! :P lol

So I've been working this office job for a while now. I started out when I was 18 and ever since then I've been a busy hard-working worker. I shan't bore you with the ins-and-outs of the job (who wants to read about such a thing on a porn site?! lol).

Anyway, having been working hard for a few years, I figured I was more than deserving of a promotion. There was just one big thing standing in my way, Mr. Richards. The bo... Continue»
Posted by ms_cream_puff 7 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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I couldn't help it

A lazy Sunday morning in bed. We are snuggling. Back to back. Butt to butt. I woke up first. He's still sl**ping. I turn around and lean over and kiss him on the neck. I look down and laugh to myself. When I kissed him, the last cum from last night's session dribbled out from his limp penis. I gingerly slip out of the bed, so that he doesn't wake up. I pull out the drawer on the stand by my side of the bed and find the new strap-on. This one is hot pink and 8 inches with pink straps. It's the same size as he is, maybe a quarter of an inch longer. I like that. He doesn't know that ... Continue»
Posted by Cunumdrum920 7 months ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor  |  
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Vegas Mayhem

When I stepped off the plane in Las Vegas I was met with a cold wind. I never dreamed Vegas would be cold in the winter. It is in the desert it is suppose to be hot. I was dressed for warm weather and so was my girlfriend I will refer to as "Tattoo Girl". She has eight tattoos on various areas of her body and three of them have my name in them. The biggest, on her right shoulder simply says "Marks Girl". (not my real name but close enough) We rushed to a taxi and quickly headed to our hotel. It is getting colder so we buy some hoodies in the Monte Carlo Hotel, gift shop to keep us warm.

In ... Continue»
Posted by alittlebashfull 7 months ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Proving there's no such thing as too loose a

Years ago I met a BBW online named Jaycee and we chatted a few times before I drove to her apartment to meet her. I was so eager to meet her because in addition to being a BBW, she told me she was a natural redhead and never shaved her strawberry blonde bush. Jaycee was turned on by my declared length and girth. We decided in our chats that if we were as turned on by each other in person as we were online, we would 69 and fuck. I know it may not be the most romantic thing to plot out the sex act ahead of time, but I actually liked avoiding the unknown in favor of the closest approximation ... Continue»
Posted by ILoveBigBush 7 months ago  |  Categories: Anal, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Ever have sex with two women in one day without wa

I was just thinking back to one of the luckiest nights of my life, and I was curious if anyone has ever experienced a particular aspect that I did. It was St. Patrick's Day 2001. I was single and, of course, the revelry started early in the day - I think about 10 AM. I went to a party thrown by a nice girl named Kim. Kim was cute and curvy and, befitting St. Patrick's day, had a beautiful head of Irish strawberry blond hair; I was a friend of a friend and we had never met. I had the good sense to get to know the host, and by noon or 12:30, Kim was giving me the proverbial 'tour' of her apartme... Continue»
Posted by ILoveBigBush 7 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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3D Printing for Pleasure

3D Printing for Pleasure by [user]sexcadpro [/user]

I am old enough to remember when the VCR ushered in a golden age of pornography. 3D printers may be starting a golden age of sex toys. 3D printers can create custom sized or engraved toys in the privacy of your own home (or local library, hackerspace, or service provider). Regardless of your exact fetish, there are a three steps you follow each time you create your own 3D printed sex toy.

Step 1: 3D Model

Every 3D print starts with a 3D model. You can create your own 3D model if you have CAD software like A... Continue»
Posted by sexcadpro 7 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  


Since I don’t have any boyfriend in my life even till this age, this has made me and my dreams quite wild. Adding to my wildness I have never had any sex experience as well before, I’m all new, so my story gonna be FANTASY only. I hope you people like, I have so many wild fantasies which I want to share with you people through ISS but only if I’ll get good response on my first story. I just want sex, a good sex, doesn’t matter whether I get it by Men or Women. So this was my Intro, I know a bit long but since it is my first time, it was required.

Now, wasting no more time, I come to the sto... Continue»
Posted by Aneesha88 7 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  


This is a incident which happened two years back when I joined a new firm.the story is about my boss mrs kusum chaddha.after and before this incident I had lesbian sex with many women who were younger than college I did lesbian sex with girls but this was the best and most memorable was with mrs kusum chaddha who is older than me.By her experience and perfection she gave me lovely orgasm.she was the best.I was new in firm I was not much familiar to her as she was from different department.she was in her mid-forties,busty lady,5,10 tall,fair,good looking figure 40-32-38.she was a mother o... Continue»
Posted by Aneesha88 7 months ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Two years ago I was working for an advertising agency. I had been an executive for several years when Miranda was hired. She was very bubbly, perky, voluptuous 23 year old. I have always had a weakness for curvy women. Miranda was a temp hire, she was filling a position by another woman who was one maternity leave. Soon after she started working there, several young men tried to woo her. On occasion I would use my dry sarcastic humor to scare away Miranda's would be suitors.
Miranda assisted me with monitoring the frequency and time of when our advertising ads aired. We met daily at 4:30pm d... Continue»
Posted by Daleharris 7 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Surprise in Boston ,Chapter 2 The Christmas Gift

Chapter 2 The Christmas gift

This Christmas was on a Friday and since I had vacation time coming and an invitation to visit f****y on the holidays I took the week off before Christmas. On Sunday December 20th the whole f****y went up to a Holiday party at my b*****rs house. He had one every year with f****y and friends. Since it was so warm this year the party spilled onto the porch outside and the menu was more summer than winter. My Niece Heather AKA April was there and made sure to give me a big hug and kiss when I arrived. She introduced me to her friend Sarah, a petit blonde blue-eye... Continue»
Posted by luvstolickpussy 7 months ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Mai aksar burkha pahen kar hi bahar jaati hoon, mai college jane ke waqt hamesha raste mein chalte log meri mast jawani ko nangi nazrou se dekhte aur kuch to comments bhi kaste ke, kya maal hai saali burkhe mein bhi hokar lund ko pagal karrahi hai.. Meri gali mein ek ladka tha uska naam ramesh tha, wo aksar gali ke nukkar per hi baitha rahta aur uska aksar baithna to mere ghar ke samne hi tha..khair wo aksar mujhe chedta rahta aur gandi gandi batien karta aate jate waqt, mai bhi uski batou ke maze leti rahti, ek din ki baat hai mai apni saheli asma ke ghar gayi usne mujhe nangi film batayi, w... Continue»
Posted by Aneesha88 7 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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A chance meeting on a train with a virgin.

A chance meeting on a train with a virgin.

This is not real - it is just story.

I’m Jack and I’m travelling to Scotland on business. I’m 55, fit, dark short hair (with salt and pepper highlights), trim but carrying a little extra around the waist. My wife says I look distinguished – ‘does that mean old?’ Sitting opposite is a 21 year old brunette, 5ft 4 with a large bosom. She has an attractive face and, like me, could do with losing a couple of pounds. She’s been on the phone for 30 minutes obviously talking to her friends. She’s Scottish with bubbly outgoing personality. If I wa... Continue»
Posted by CanoePirate 7 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Demon Dream

Last Saturday night, I brought a guy home, looking to get fucked. Turned out he was a wimp: when I said "no," he actually took me seriously and stopped! Jesus! Whatever happened to men?????

After he left, I was frustrated, my body on fire with the need for cock. Before wimping out, he had fondled my breasts and licked my nipples. I was insane with lust! I went to bed alone, my tits hot and swollen, nipples erect, my cunt soaking wet. I'm amazed I got to sl**p at all. At least, I think I slept!

I lay nude on top of the covers, my long, smooth left leg lying straight, ... Continue»
Posted by Stevie_Notnicks 7 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Tips for males on first date with a female - How t

This is a tip for first dates (or second if you're with a prude). I am sure that I didn't "invent" this position, but I've never heard any of my friends recount a story with it (until after I told them I used it). But if it is of interest, I'll share it.

I've been married for eight years now, but when I was single I used this all the time. Basically, I would lay on my back. So would the female. I would straddle her right leg over my torso and proceed to perform cunnilingus. Not too original, you're thinking. The reason you've got to try this if you haven't already done so is to confirm what... Continue»
Posted by ILoveBigBush 7 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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The one time I was 'taken for the team'

I previously posted an account of my 'taking a woman for the team,' and how blissful an experience it was. Fair is fair, and now I'd like to share a story in which a woman 'took me for the team.' It was the early 2000's. A buddy of mine was first dating a girl and I went out with them and this girl's friend. The girl's friend was turned off (or intimidated) by my intellect. I forget what she said to her friend or how it was re-packaged for my ears, but after this first outing she did not hook up with me because she thought I was too much of a brain (or some such crap).

I was not overly at... Continue»
Posted by ILoveBigBush 7 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  

The Not So Quik Stop!

So there I am standing in line at the corner gas-stop/foodmart. Last in line behind four really pissed off people who have already been standing there for quite some time.

After joining them, I've been in line for about two minutes, the first fuel customer, a lady in her mid thirties, retrieves a small fold of bills from her purse and leaves it on the counter. She then departs the store, hops in her car and leaves.

The second patron, an older man in a bermuda shirt and kahki shorts, says "Fuck this..." takes a map book from the stand, walks away from the store and hops into an RV and h... Continue»
Posted by TheToweringZiggurat 7 months ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  

New Years Eve party blowjob in car December 31 201

Of course all of my stories are true and of my exploits. So this past new years eve, I had a few parties that I had to hit. Two were client ball/types one at my new directors house and one at the Hilton Americas in Houston. My new girlfriend was going to attend the the last two with me. I planned to hit client a in Galleria from 7-8, client two in Galleria 8:15-9, my new Directors at his house in River Oaks 9:30-10:30 then the party with my girl downtown at Hilton Americas 11 until. I was already in my black suit as we had a meeting in the office at 4 then dispensed to various client par... Continue»
Posted by dblacknhou 7 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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