Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 79

when in the jungle....

WHEN IN THE JUNGLE......
( This is Real fantasy and soon to be a video...,,I recokn readers check out some of pics relating to this story in picture gallery on same website)
I was chatting on f'book when my dad came back from work.It was summer time .'honey we need to move ,I got transferred to Neyport, a remote village in west manchester',he said to mom. I don't know how their further conversation unfolded,but after a while mom came to me and said,'matt ,we need to move to new place ,you might have heard your dad,since you are having holidays,both ( dad and mom)of us wish to ... Continue»
Posted by Matt5 2 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1067  |  
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A RANDOM FREESTYLE SEX POEM FRESH FROM MY BRAIN

She had no panties on and a mini skirt.
When he ate her pussy it made her squirt.
He thrust his hard-on deep inside
It felt so good she nearly cried.
"I've never been fucked quite like this,"
Then he pulled out and came on her tits.
"Oh we're not done yet; not even close.
Finger my ass hole."
"No, that's gross."... Continue»
Posted by squirtlover33 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 285  |  
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Oil be damned!

(Based on fact but mostly fiction. Hope you enjoy.)

After the longest week I could remember, I came home to drown my sorrows with a long, hot shower. I stripped down and stepped in, feeling my cares begin to melt away under the hot droplets cascading down my body. As I slowly soaped out the aches and pains from my tired muscles I suddenly decided to see if I could get in a session with my massage ther****t. This would just be what the ther****t ordered, so to speak, after such a long week.

I tried to call but there was no response. Damn. When that happens it usually means they are busy... Continue»
Posted by Bulletin 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 563  |  
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My First Pussy Pumping Experience

The vagina is a powerful thing, and pumping mine is an amazing feeling. People always ask me what it feels like and why I do it. Oh, there are many reasons.
The first time I ever saw a pumped pussy was last year, while browsing online, and I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was gigantic, obscene - and a massive turn-on. I knew I just had to try this for myself. I immediately rushed into the kitchen, got some boiling water and used it to heat the inside of an empty glass jar. Next I hastily slathered some lubricant over the smooth mound of my pussy before emptying the jar of water and clamping it... Continue»
Posted by pinkpumper 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 4405  |  
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how i lost my v

i was a bit young and for legal reasons im not telling you my age when i lost my virginaty but i will tell you this, NEVER FUCK A GIRL THAT HAS A STUPID s****r. it was a wednesday and i was walking to my girlfriends house to do.. you know, we enter the house to find only her cat and some beer bottes by her stairs, we disposed the beer bottles and went to her bed room, i startid to kiss her and she pulled my top of, i started to toach her breasts and get more and more sexual towards her, she pulled my trousers down leaving my pants and socks,then she took her top of and skirt, i un-hooked her b... Continue»
Posted by mrhuggibearzz 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 767  |  
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420 Reasons to Fuck

My new friend, Jeff, finished packing his large rainbow colored bong with a fresh load of sticky, resiny weed. My head buzzing from the bong hits we'd already taken, I watched him light up and inhaled deeply, then hold the smoke in his lungs. In my stoned haze, I looked at his buff physique. Jeff was an inordinately good looking man, lithe muscles bulging in a tight tank top, dark hair and darker eyes and intense features, someone who, if he had been born as a woman, most any man would have rated as a "10".

He passed me the lit bong. "Here, suck on this."

I inhaled deeply, then struggl... Continue»
Posted by mariokarlsson 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor  |  Views: 324  |  
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Joey's Powers: part 2

Last time on Joey’s powers…
"Ohhhhhh... fu-fuck meeeeeee.."

He then relies some one was still here.

"ok if this isn't real, no more carrot cake at the cake monster!" he thought. "Here it comes"

He opened the door silently and could not believe what he saw...
___________________________________________________________________

He saw Candie squirting right at the office! this is the 1st time he had seen it outside of porn tapes. Her top piece was un-buttoned with her tits hanging out, thong, & skirt on the floor. Her pussy was like a automatic sprinkler that ran out of water: just... Continue»
Posted by Ahorny1 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 196  |  
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Carry On Nurse

I’ve spent the last thirty days in this hospital and it’s costing my insurance company a fortune. After twenty years without a claim for anything I figure I got it coming, so fuck ‘em. During the day I plug my computer in, log into the wireless internet and work, just like I would if I were out and at home, so it’s not like I’m actually slacking. It’s more like I’m working from a really expensive hotel room with only mediocre food. It’s the side benefit that keeps me here. I would have been out and on my feet if it weren’t for Candy. Candy is my night nurse. Now you’ve all heard the nasty stor... Continue»
Posted by jayke1981 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1137  |  
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Another trucker story from Tony503

Upon my 66 excursion after going into Missouri the Show Me State I met a young man in the truckstop in Joplin we were talking about all his travels and how he enjoyed meeting new truckers along his journeys but as yet he never encountered any like he read in his magazines
I said what kind of truckers is that You know the ones out here who enjoy Sex without commitments and who like a slave I started to laugh So You want to be a slave and treated to the stories you read in your magazines, Well he said I have always wanted to try something different I said come with me now first I have to ask ar... Continue»
Posted by MoonlightWonder 3 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 340  |  
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A weekend away (chapter 3)

A weekend away (chapter 3)


Woke up the next morning, shall I just say – weary, here we are, only been in the building 18 hours and we’ve already fucked each other to a standstill twice (not bad for an old bloke).

It’s ten past nine and shit, now we’ve missed breakfast – she’s still asl**p, lying next to me, looking her normal gorgeous self, only partially covered by the sheet and smelling the wonderful smell of pure womanhood.

The amazing bit for me is that she’s still asl**p and that’s from a woman who’s up at 6 and gone to work every day by 7, must be doing something right.... Continue»
Posted by pinks43 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 335  |  
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Mortal Kombat

All my Stories are absolutely true

2011, June 17
About 10:10pm


In the early nineties the first Mortal Kombat released and became one of the most popular games through its extreme v******e and splatter-effects. It was published the almost the same time as Street Fighter 2 and therefore was a big rivalry between those two games. Back then you either were a Street Fighter or a Mortal Kombat Fan. Well, that time I only was two years old and far away from the audience of those games so I initially began to play for real in the year 2008 with “MK vs. DC Universe”. After I decided for myself... Continue»
Posted by Bea69 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 488  |  
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A weekend away (chapter 2)

There I was knackered from the journey and our fucking in the shower and now here I am three hours later, slowly being woken up by my g/f sucking on a very hard cock – my very hard cock – bliss.

The aching in my balls had spread to all over my groin area and my first thought was to get hold of a hand full of hair and push down on the back of her head.

But no, I wanted a cock at the end of this session and if I were to do that, she’d bite the fucker off and spit it at me – she really hates that being done to her.

Suddenly I saw her hair – it was so much of a fuckin mess she looked like... Continue»
Posted by pinks43 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 466  |  
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28 year old bisexual Japanese Female

So, I have this friend who is also a colleague that is bisexual.

If you a looking for a story with me fucking her with another girl or guy you should skip this because I never fucked her and never will.
There is no sexing or erotic about this story but I thought it was interesting to share with you all.

I have been working with her for few years now and she is one of the closest colleagues at my work place.
She is intelligent, beautiful, funny, outgoing etc.
She stands about 5ft 6 (168cm) nice figure, long legs with a cute firm ass.
Her ass is the only thing I touched erotically on h... Continue»
Posted by drpepper23 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 158  |  
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SEXUALLY SPEAKING. . .

Author's note: this is a lazy coffee-time short story for feet-up, chill-out time. It's about a girl, and a guy, and girl/guy stuff -- though if you're not into romance of the explicit kind, you may not want to read on. . .

------------------------------


The sun is warm against his skin, the rock against his ass a total pain.

He has been here for maybe thirty minutes and lying down for twenty: absurd, the amount of time spent on looking around, choosing a spot, getting undressed, oiling up, smoothing the sand, packing the sand, actually moulding t... Continue»
Posted by Sementics 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 143  |  
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ICarly Sex Story; IAm Not A Virgin

ICarly Sex Story
Iam Not a Virgin

"I'm sexy Carly"
"and I'm slutty Sam"
"And this is ICarly"
Carly and Sam are doing a normal ICarly rehearsal in their studio with Freddie. As they get half way through Sam gets a text message.
"I gotta go" Sam says
"we're in the middle of rehearsal" Fredie exclaims
"I've got people to see" Sam responds
"Oooo a date?" Carly asked
"You could call it that" Sam says as she leaves with a dirty grin on her face.
"So now what?" Carly asks Freddie
"Oh I've got some tech stuff I need to fix"
"Alright i'll be in my room thinking of ideas for our next show... Continue»
Posted by sexybabe132 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 5175  |  
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lil s****r...dam it

so me n my gf were layin in bed cuddlin wen reach dwn n startd 2 rub my cock. i told her 2 stop bcuz her lil s****r was aimlessly walkin around her house. she continue n got me hard. so i startd playin wit her tits. she got up,closed tha door n undressd. i did 2. she hops on top n stickz my cock inside her. she grabz my hands n places dem on her ass n tells me 2 smack it hard. about a minute into it her s****r walks in n she startd screamin. i push my gf n cover her wit a blanket. her s****r starts laughin n leaves. my gf was so embarress dat she gets dress (so do i) n tells me 2 leave.... Continue»
Posted by thamack408 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 605  |  
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The White Witch


While getting a long weekend off from college, I was invited to a party by my friend, Sam, at his girlfriends' house. I was told to bring somebody, but having no one to bring, I brought beer instead.

Sam had just started to date this girl, Lisa, and she was a party a****l. Every weekend it was party time at Lisa's. I arrived a little early since I was bringing the refreshment, and bumped into a tall, olive completed, long black haired, curvy girl who was sporting a cast that ran up to the top of her thigh. She was beautiful. I mean beautiful like, 'Catharine Zeta Jones' with nice boobs, ... Continue»
Posted by ddawg940 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 768  |  
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Daily Commute

This is my first story and not much of a writer but had an interesting incident this morning so I thought I'd share with you all.

I commute daily from home to work by train like most people living in Japan.
As you all may know, the trains are crammed during rush hour and your touching someone's back or shoulder.

It's like being in a can of sardines.

Anyway, so I get on the train this morning and like always it is crammed.

It is filled with sweaty men and I have been living in Japan for about 6 years now but still can't get used to having a sweaty guys back rubbing against my back.... Continue»
Posted by drpepper23 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 820  |  
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Airplane

"D-234 is on line, we approching to destination. End over".
"Your stewardess are so wet, please my honey fuck me, forget this airplane".
"What aboat the people inside?"
"Let them and fuck me pilot".
"Hmmm your is on me know, what a fealing hmmm".
"I will show you that I have a monster for you".
"Yes tell me that thing, I become so wet". "Here is my tits hmmm".
"Yes nice tits hmmm".
"Let`s finished that I can`t stand it so long".
"Here is ohhhhhh".
"Nice fuck my pilot". "But there is a one thing".
"What?"
"Your destination is too far away, you missed that".
"Ooo crap look what you... Continue»
Posted by jopaoux 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor  |  Views: 222  |  
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JUST A LIL SUMTHING

One evening as you were relaxing at home after work, you hear the doorbell.

I am at the door. I tell you that I am there on business having to do with the house. (I have found out that the house that you rent is going to be sold). I tell you that I have to do a quick inspection and then I will be able to refund your housekeeping deposit.

You ask for ID, which I supply and then ask me in. We sit down in the living room and I ask you about ten questions about the house.

I ask you if you could take me on a tour and answer any questions as they come up. You say yes and start to show me ar... Continue»
Posted by PoRnStAr-LaLa 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 292  |  
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