Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 79
(They get hot while car gets sudsy)
Stepping out of the car at the Shell Station, Mark looked at the dark skies and impending storm. He felt the cool breeze and knew the front was just passing over. He unscrewed his gas cap and turned to see just what this tank of gas will cost. He slid his credit card into the slot and quickly removed it. Grabbing the nozzle for regular, he let his mind wander as he slipped the nozzle into the opening for the gas. He pictured Jackie, leaned over the rear fender of the car as he slipped his nozzle in.
Mark had known Jackie for a long time, since high sch... Continue»
(High school senior lusts for busty older babe)
When I was in high school, my best friend had a mom that every one of my friends drooled over. She was in her late 30's and was very attractive. She had blonde hair blue eyes and a huge set of tits. I had gone through her underwear drawer one time to find out that they were a D-cup. Most moms get heavy at this age but not her. She was never married and had no excuse to lie around and get fat. Being a doctor she kept very busy and ate very healthy. She raised Mike and his younger s****r very successfully with the help of her parents.
Do to t... Continue»
(Two Uncles teach a niece how to behave)
Hello, my name is Clara, and I am going to tell you about the time I learned what it really was to be fucked. I was adopted at age 7, by my mother Nina, and now I am eighteen... On the say of my 18th birthday, my mother threw me a huge bash, invited all the f****y and my friends, and let me tell you, it was something I will never forget.
On the day of my 18th birthday, it was hot and humid, the kind of humid that makes your clothes stick to your skin. I came out of my room dressed in a white cotton midriff, no bra, and white jean shorts, almost so... Continue»
After the morning wrestle, I decided to go fishing. AJ & Rina were still diving. The adults got back from mainland. The good news is they brought back enough beer to keep the twins and Maribel from continuing their reverse gang bang.
I never done fishing with a real fishing rod before so when I tried to throw the line, I got myself hooked at my right shoulder. I flinched from the pain and tried not to move so much so I wouldn't feel the small piece of metal injected in my skin rubbing my flesh. I didn't call out for help. Thinking my aunt would just get mad for being careless. Instead, I tr... Continue»
I was taking a shower one day.
Suddenly my at that time 2 year old son came into the bathroom and he had wrapped himself in toilet paper.
Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so i ran for my camera and took a few shots.
They came out so well that i had copies made and included one with each of the Christmas cards that year.
Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing hysterically, and suggesting that i take a closer look.
Puzzled, i stared at the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to my son, i had captured my reflection in the mirror wearing... Continue»
This story happened in May at my father's house in Florida. He has these striked rules for the house, be home by 11pm, leave room doors open, and wrost of all, NO SEX!!! Im 24 I shouldn't have to follow these rules. But here in my dad's house his words is law. Must follow orders. So, one mirning my dad left to work, since I do tattoos I can take take my jods anyware. I had a few things lined up for the aftetnoon hours, so I didn't have much to do in the morning I took a long shower and got dressed. Still had 4 hours to kill, since im not from here I'm pretty much stuck here, oh and my dad had ... Continue»
The Italian Job 17
A few days later Ellie came to see me at my apartment, this was truly a royal visit as she had never been before and I got the feeling that she was checking to see if I had got anyone entrenched that she might see as a threat to her private domain, she wandered around, looking at all of my stuff, “Maria came to see me” she commented whilst browsing my books,
I made no comment, I reckoned if she wanted to tell me she would “wanted to know if she could have her job back” she said, now I was curious but determined to hold out so still no comment “how do you feel about that?”... Continue»
This is my first story so constructive criticism please, if you like this I will post more stories from my strange & crazy life. This is a true story, happened to me in the summer of 05' best day of my life.
So first the stats, you fellow story readers seam to enjoy them. The girl in this story Rachel is/was 1/2 Puerto Rican 1/2 Mulatto, 5'4" maybe 125lbs, Curvy, a nice handful of tits & a rock hard ass that went on for days. I was & still am, 1/2 irish 1/2 mexican, 5'9" 144lbs very skinny yet toned from lack of body fat, I'm a grower not a shower, at 9inches when erect & I'm cut... Continue»
As we explore our developing sex-life (not bad to be able to say that after nearly 12 years together) I asked K to tell me something she'd like that she'd never tried. The answer came back "a strap-on". Now I'm the "more than a mouthful's a waste" size and she's tight and beautiful - and so the idea of a hollow strap-on grew. Not too large. But something we could enjoy.
I had a look on the internet - but we decided to go through Soho and see what we could find. We tried Anne Summers, very little to choose, and Coco de Mere which was lovely but didn't have anything hollow. So we went down ... Continue»
The Italian Job 16
Italian weddings are very special things with lots of singing and dancing and eating and drinking, I know English weddings are meant to be the same but they do not seem to have the flair of the Mediterranean countries and especially a village wedding where everyone knows everyone including all their relatives both dead and alive, so when Sonia’s daughter decided to get married to one of the village lads the village started to make preparations in a big way, the bunting came out as well as the balloons and the flags and of course the preparations for a street party, mention ... Continue»
Have you ever had sex with someone you didn't know? Have you ever had sex with someone you couldn't see? Have you ever had sex with more than one person? Have you ever let someone watch you have sex? Have you ever watched someone who didn't know? Have you ever told a secret to a stranger? Have you ever had phone sex with someone you met online? Have you ever had sex in public? Have you ever had sex through a glory hole? Have you ever masturbated outside? Have you ever not washed between lovers? Have you ever had sex with someone who just had sex? Have you ever shared home movies of... Continue»
A f****y sitting around the dinner table and the son asks if he can ask a question.
The father responds.
Of course,the only question!
The young man asks his dad:
Dad,how many different kinds of breasts are there?
Well,son,there are three kinds of breasts.
The 20-year-old woman has breasts are like melons, round & firm.
Around 30-40 years of age are like pears still nice but hanging a bit.
After fifty,they are like onions.
Yes, when you see them and they make you cry.
This outlay was both mother and daughter to see red,so the daughter sa... Continue»
Halloween is my favorite holiday. It combines candy, monsters, horror movies, ancient pagan rituals, booze, partying all night, fake bl**d, and hot girls in sexy costumes. On top of everything else, Halloween, a night given over to fun, fantasy, and revelry, is by far the sexiest holiday of them all (shove off Valentine's Day).
I always use October as a chance to revisit my favorite monster movies, the glorious black and white classics like Dracula, The Wolfman, The Mummy, and my favorites, Frankenstein and the even better Bride of Frankenstein. Now, Doctor Frankenstein had a bright idea, ... Continue»
This just happened two nights ago (I have used fake names of course though) :) .
Alex had been single for nine months and decided to join a dating website. After two weeks of a few boring dates in the city, he was requested an add by a Serbian girl named Mili one night that lived about fourty minutes away from him. He accepted her, and they chatted for awhile until the conversation went along to:
Mili says: So you do a lot of life drawing?
Alex says: Yes, I love it, it is my passion in life.
Mili says: I have never tried it, but I wouldn't mind...
Alex says: What, really? It... Continue»
After three years of marriage, Kim was still questioning her husband about his lurid past.
"C'mon, tell me," she asked for the thousandth time, "how many women have you slept with?"
"Baby," he protested, "if I told you, you'd throw a fit".
Kim promised she wouldn't get angry, and convinced her hubby to tell her.
"Okay," he said, "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven - then there's you - nine, ten, 11, 12, 13.."... Continue»
Okay, if you read my story 'Something on account', you'll know that I had a big surprise waiting for me at the office Xmas party in 1978 when I was 17. Completely unexpectedly, I had received the best blow job I had had to date - and it was from Joan, the company accountant AND three times my age!
Well, you will also know that I mentioned that there was another mature lady at that party. Lisa.
In the UK, there is an old saying... "As fit as a butchers dog". What that means is that the butcher always had the choice of the best cuts of meat for his own f****y, and the scraps made their wa... Continue»
Just another poem...you don't have to take it to heart, though not a bad idea...
Go Get Some.
So, you’re looking for another rhyme,
Don’t know if I can do it this time,
I tried to think of something hot,
Something with a lusty plot,
Something you can read and wank,
But my mind simply came up blank,
So instead of reading some dirty poem,
While you’re sitting back at home,
Take a trip into the city,
Where you may find some real kitty,
Cause sex isn’t just to read about,
It’s something I can’t do without,
Cash your check when you get paid,
Go outside and actually ... Continue»
The Italian Job 15
The following morning I had my usual 2 breakfast’s, tea and toast for one and Ellie’s genitalia for the other as she sat on my face leaning forward with her hands on the bed behind my head as she ground her clit into my teeth, she came gushing her juice into my mouth as she trembled, she was learning to ride them so that the sensation lasted for some time so the noise of her moaning and growling was quite prolonged, I fucked her missionary with her legs wrapped around me as she used them to lever herself up into the back arching position when she came, it was a reflex and s... Continue»
My quest to find the Queen of Sex Fantasy Land in search of the ultimate sexual experience...
I am so ashamed. I am just so ashamed of myself, you have no idea. I have been so bad I should be punished by one or two of you fine looking women. Really, I have been a bad boy. I have let you people down big time. Oh yes, I really did it this time. Here I am on an adult web site and what do I write? c***dish nonsense about lost tribes of wild women, going back to the Garden Of Eden, girls tied to fences. Utter nonsense. Here you people are out there, expecting some hot... Continue»
REASONS WHY YOU MUST GET TOGETHER WITH A HORSE RIDERS
1) We have four speeds and can be many different positions ...
2) We have on our tight pants
3) We like getting dirty
4) We know how to ride really
5) We always do our best in the drawing
6) We love having control
7) We can ride for hours
8) We know how to deal with big things
9) We are going off and on easily
10) We are always ready
11) We like it hard
12) We have leg and back muscles that help us manage all the different positions
13) We love using whips
14) legs apart is our natural position
15) We do... Continue»