Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 75

SEXUALLY SPEAKING. . .

Author's note: this is a lazy coffee-time short story for feet-up, chill-out time. It's about a girl, and a guy, and girl/guy stuff -- though if you're not into romance of the explicit kind, you may not want to read on. . .

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The sun is warm against his skin, the rock against his ass a total pain.

He has been here for maybe thirty minutes and lying down for twenty: absurd, the amount of time spent on looking around, choosing a spot, getting undressed, oiling up, smoothing the sand, packing the sand, actually moulding t... Continue»
Posted by Sementics 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 144  |  
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ICarly Sex Story; IAm Not A Virgin

ICarly Sex Story
Iam Not a Virgin

"I'm sexy Carly"
"and I'm slutty Sam"
"And this is ICarly"
Carly and Sam are doing a normal ICarly rehearsal in their studio with Freddie. As they get half way through Sam gets a text message.
"I gotta go" Sam says
"we're in the middle of rehearsal" Fredie exclaims
"I've got people to see" Sam responds
"Oooo a date?" Carly asked
"You could call it that" Sam says as she leaves with a dirty grin on her face.
"So now what?" Carly asks Freddie
"Oh I've got some tech stuff I need to fix"
"Alright i'll be in my room thinking of ideas for our next show... Continue»
Posted by sexybabe132 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 5276  |  
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lil s****r...dam it

so me n my gf were layin in bed cuddlin wen reach dwn n startd 2 rub my cock. i told her 2 stop bcuz her lil s****r was aimlessly walkin around her house. she continue n got me hard. so i startd playin wit her tits. she got up,closed tha door n undressd. i did 2. she hops on top n stickz my cock inside her. she grabz my hands n places dem on her ass n tells me 2 smack it hard. about a minute into it her s****r walks in n she startd screamin. i push my gf n cover her wit a blanket. her s****r starts laughin n leaves. my gf was so embarress dat she gets dress (so do i) n tells me 2 leave.... Continue»
Posted by thamack408 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 605  |  
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The White Witch


While getting a long weekend off from college, I was invited to a party by my friend, Sam, at his girlfriends' house. I was told to bring somebody, but having no one to bring, I brought beer instead.

Sam had just started to date this girl, Lisa, and she was a party a****l. Every weekend it was party time at Lisa's. I arrived a little early since I was bringing the refreshment, and bumped into a tall, olive completed, long black haired, curvy girl who was sporting a cast that ran up to the top of her thigh. She was beautiful. I mean beautiful like, 'Catharine Zeta Jones' with nice boobs, ... Continue»
Posted by ddawg940 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 769  |  
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Daily Commute

This is my first story and not much of a writer but had an interesting incident this morning so I thought I'd share with you all.

I commute daily from home to work by train like most people living in Japan.
As you all may know, the trains are crammed during rush hour and your touching someone's back or shoulder.

It's like being in a can of sardines.

Anyway, so I get on the train this morning and like always it is crammed.

It is filled with sweaty men and I have been living in Japan for about 6 years now but still can't get used to having a sweaty guys back rubbing against my back.... Continue»
Posted by drpepper23 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 820  |  
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Airplane

"D-234 is on line, we approching to destination. End over".
"Your stewardess are so wet, please my honey fuck me, forget this airplane".
"What aboat the people inside?"
"Let them and fuck me pilot".
"Hmmm your is on me know, what a fealing hmmm".
"I will show you that I have a monster for you".
"Yes tell me that thing, I become so wet". "Here is my tits hmmm".
"Yes nice tits hmmm".
"Let`s finished that I can`t stand it so long".
"Here is ohhhhhh".
"Nice fuck my pilot". "But there is a one thing".
"What?"
"Your destination is too far away, you missed that".
"Ooo crap look what you... Continue»
Posted by jopaoux 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor  |  Views: 222  |  
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JUST A LIL SUMTHING

One evening as you were relaxing at home after work, you hear the doorbell.

I am at the door. I tell you that I am there on business having to do with the house. (I have found out that the house that you rent is going to be sold). I tell you that I have to do a quick inspection and then I will be able to refund your housekeeping deposit.

You ask for ID, which I supply and then ask me in. We sit down in the living room and I ask you about ten questions about the house.

I ask you if you could take me on a tour and answer any questions as they come up. You say yes and start to show me ar... Continue»
Posted by PoRnStAr-LaLa 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 292  |  
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While The f****y Are Away His Cock Comes Out To Pl

True story as my darling bappy currently fondles my boobs. its not the easiest job for a pregnant woman to do hahaha

Anyways.. I'll get on with it and get you men and women on your way to some orgasms like what we had earlier.

My parents and youngest s****r left on a saturday and my gorgeous hubby to be arrived at the house a few hours later. Sadly we had to wait until my other s****r left with her "friend" (with benefits which she won't believe is what they are but considering if you awoke through the night you'd hear her bedsprings going crazy.) Saturday night arrived not quic... Continue»
Posted by maaao 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1022  |  
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Betty's life (Chapter 2)

Your full lips are closer and closer to CJ's shithole. You can even smell it. It smelled like CJ just had a p*o.
-"Yes, yes, yes...That's it, gurl, that's it! Make me happy, bitch!"-CJ yelled pushing your head even stronger, so your lips touched his anus and your nose was smelling his sweaty balls now.
*There's no way out.*- You think to yourself. You, Betty Boops, the most beautiful white girl in college, with a hot pair of tits and nice big booty, are going to lick some black d**g dealer's ass, who lives nextdoor in you neighbourhood, just for a simple ride to the mall...Hell yeah!
-"C'mo... Continue»
Posted by twingirl 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 463  |  
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Supersex with co- worker

One Friday after work, we were all from the office and had a single beer. As people disappeared, only Suzanne and me back.

My name is Torben and late thirties and Susan are a couple of years younger. We are both married and have c***dren, but there has always been a little electricity between us.

It has never translated into anything, but as we got a few beers, I could see that Suzanne became more and more unrestrained.

At one point she comes little dancing over to me and lose completely random balance, so she has to sit on my lap. I put my arms around her waist and hold on tight so s... Continue»
Posted by Rumleskaft1984 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 847  |  
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It's All About Sex (Honestly)

I saw this on someone else page and they're always interesting so I figured what the hell...



What’s your favorite place to be kissed?
Lips, but I enjoy being kissed all over...

What’s your favorite color lingerie?
Personally, I don't wear it, however, black or red, if it's on a lady...

What color panties are you wearing?
Blue Boxers, not into ladies underwear, unless it'#s on a lady...lol...

What’s your favorite sexual position?
Woman on top...

Do you prefer strawberries with whipped cream or chocolate?
Whipped cream, defo...

Do you prefer sex beneath the sheets or o... Continue»
Posted by muttleyh 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 241

It's all about Sex....Really

I saw this on someone else page and they're always interesting so I figured what the hell...



What’s your favorite place to be kissed?
everywhere...i love kissing

What’s your favorite color lingerie?
lingerie??? if someone else is wearing it...black

What color panties are you wearing?
no panties.....red, white n blue boxer...happy 4th :p

What’s your favorite sexual position?
Doggie

Do you prefer strawberries with whipped cream or chocolate?
i'm more than enough chocolate

Do you prefer sex beneath the sheets or on top?
on top

Do you prefer sex with the lights on or... Continue»
Posted by bb4w 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 215  |  
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My b*****r Fucked me

On Feb 21 last week after I have finished my tuition at about 6.30 pm and all three pupils have left my house and I took a quick shower and cooked for my dinner. I was alone at home and my husband have gone to singapore for business needs. After watching TV for some time it was nearing 9 pm and I was having my dinner. My phone rings and when I took the phone it was the girl student and she have some more doubts about tommorows exam and she was afraid of exams. So I agree to clear her doubts and told her to come to my home. It was 9.15 pm and after 5mins she knocks at my door and I opened the d... Continue»
Posted by simpleunions 2 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 8497  |  
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"SpUnk coCK!"-LESLEY



when your a boy and your name is leslie-not female version ie lesley,
your first day at school is a real nightmare!-and it dont get any better
all the way through your school years.
boys are never gay but they sure get up to some strange games ,which if
any one else did would be "sooooo gay" i was teased and bullied a bit all
through my teen years,even though i soon learned too use my fists if things
got to "

crazy,i enjoyed hiding behind a "soft" image to see how far the guys
would go with "lesley anne" the S,punk rocker,yeah i was into punk... Continue»
Posted by spunkrokr 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Shemales  |  Views: 335  |  
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Development of a Lesbian - Bonus

Hey everyone. I got a pretty good response to my last story so I'm going to post something I discovered on my old hard drive - my writings from when I was about 14-16. When I was younger I used to write what was on my mind, so here it is! Also, if you notice any differences in this story and the last, its because I exaggerated a lot in the last one. This is all true however. (Note: I had a very odd writing style because I thought nobody would ever read it)

AAARGH! I WANT SOMEONE TO EAT ME OUT NOW!!!

I'M SICK OF PORN. I WANT FUCKING!

My tits are getting bigger now. They are so s... Continue»
Posted by helenaserret 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 399  |  
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FAQs About Me

I get heaps of questions about me, so I'll answer as many as I can here.

1. Do you do guys?

As a general rule, no. I do appreciate a nice set of balls every now and again, however, but I don't like fucking men.

2. Do you do girls?

Yes. Of all ages.

3. What are your views on i****t?

Depends. Heterosexual i****t is just wrong, with chances of deformed babies and the illnesses and the like. Homosexual i****t is alright by me, because if two consenting people want to have sex with each other in a safe way without any chance of having a deformed c***d -... Continue»
Posted by helenaserret 2 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 393  |  
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Kirk & Erin

[user]http://xhamster.com/user/teengirerin[/user]

I want to give out a little information before I write this story! My name is Kirk Parmer and I moved to Texas 6 years ago in April and I came from Alaska. I was born and raised in Alaska for 15 years and that is why I have the username Alaska. The xxx is because I like porn! Now this story is titled Kirk & Erin because this is like a parody of the biblical story of Adam & Eve. This story is going to be better though because its going to have sex in it! I hope you will enjoy this and please comment!
__________________________________... Continue»
Posted by alaskaxxx 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 250  |  
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Clothespin Girl Superhero

Once a upon a time, a long long time ago yesterday in fact. Today I began my plan to catch the elusive one. The one who rescues clothespins from clotheslines. The plan was a simple one to string up 7 clotheslines facing the wind knowing that if she was near that she might hear the cries of the clothespins. Now that the 7 lines were up I just had to wait and hope the wind would do it's job and carry the cries of the clothespins. This quest started years ago when I first put a clothespin on my penis. And today was going to be the day that I'd finally meet my fantasy girl. With the 7,000 clothesp... Continue»
Posted by janthony57 2 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 220  |  
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you can learn a lot from a tutor

It was my third year of university, in the field of immunology, and i was sitting in my tutorial. It was my only class for the friday, so i was relatively awake.the course itself wasnt overly difficult, it was merely a lot to remember. I was sitting in my tutorial, looking at my fellow classmates, nothing over the top, just average people, more guys than anything. there was however a rather cute asian girl sitting to my left. with long flowing black hair, framing a slightly tanned face. her tits were small, as most asian girls are, her legs however were heaven, long, slender and completely hai... Continue»
Posted by jpvk123 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 803  |  
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How Miwako Lost her Virginity at age 15. (100% tru

well this story wont be nice n sext and if your tryin to rub one out
forget it. Lol this wil just be an awkward story.. I was fifteen at
the time. My boyfriend of nine months was s*******n. Hmmm let
me tell about our first date first (lol sorry) Chris was my
boyfriends name. Chris came over to my house and me and him sat
in my houses' extra rooms. We played video games. Doing shy little
stuff. We was still fifteen and s*******n. Then when it was time
for him to go we hugged... Then kissed. We kissed for like five
minutes i swear. Before this kiss i was a nice little virgin that has
ne... Continue»
Posted by miwako 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 2212  |  
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