Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 75
# 9 A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask
the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the
front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman
beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into
her breast. They are both startled and he
says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your
breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "if
your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room
# 8 A young man walks up and sits down at the
bar. "What can I get you?" the bartender
inquires. "I want 6 shots of Jagermeister,"
responded the young man. "6 shots?!? Are you
celebrating something?" ... Continue»
Introduction: Forgot some info here the better one hope you like it
A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are sperm samples???" , "DO IT!". So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks th... Continue»
Introduction: These are funny,perverted, and just wrong all at the same time.
A Penis Study
In 1991, Duke University funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $180,000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the Man more pleasure during sex. After Duke published the study, Stanford decided to do their own study. After three years of research and $250,000.00, they concluded that the reason was to give the Woman more pleasure during sex. The University of Wisconsin, unsatisfied with the... Continue»
Q: When do you kick a midget in the balls?
A: When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice
Q: What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute?
A: Your job still sucks!
Q: How does a woman scare a gynecologist?
A: By becoming a ventriloquist!
Q: How do you kill a circus clown?
A: Go for the juggler!
Q: Why couldn't they get the dead mans casket lid shut?
A: Because he overdosed on viagra!
Q: Why does Dr. Pepper come (cum) in a bottle?
A: Because his wife died!
Q: Why did the snowman smile?
A: Because the snowblower is coming.
Please read Part 1 before this part. It's called 3 Girls In A Cafe :)
It'd been a week since Kaito started working in the Cafe with the beautiful three girls. Hiraki had still remained silent and quiet ever since her and Kaito's little interuption on his first day. Yume had grown very fond of him, always talking and clinging to him like she was his little s****r and Diasuke remained fierce yet kind to Kaito. It was now a Thursday afternoon and Diasuke had given him the spare room in the Cafe so that he didn't have to drive to work everday, he could just stay there if he wanted, she didn't r... Continue»
People, ever found a small glance of your findxpartner
friends bosom while she bent low to choose something up?
Ever wanted you could have seen more? Of course..
If you have a companion who has relationship a magnificent looker, you would be inclined to imagine about your buddy's attractive time frame undressed too.
We want to see it more than ever. But more often than not, possibilities will come banging on your entrance if you can just understand to be on the lookout at the right time.
Spending a day out with your buddies at an alone identify, where in addition, there's a ... Continue»
So, shortly after Catherine got fucked in her van for two hours, She drove me back to school so I could go home. I got home about 6, about ten minutes before my Mom. Great timing, so I wouldn’t have to explain anything.
I ate supper, then retired to my room to reflect on the trip to the park and subsequent sex in a van. Catherine’s Double D tits were firmly engraved in my memory, as was her tight ass and willingness to suck and fuck. I’d be revisiting her church sometime.
I pulled my cock out to jackoff to my memory, when my phone buzzed. I almost ignored it, but I’m glad I didn’t. It w... Continue»
The other day I was soooooo horny. I just staring out my window when I saw my nieghbor jacking off looking at me. I decided to tease him and showed him my breasts. He wanked harder and harder, and I motioned for him to stop and come over. He came over and he fucked my pussy almost raw. I was screaming soooo loud. I thought I was going to cum, and pissed everywhere instead of cumming. I was humiliated. He said it was ok, as long as he could cum on my face. He finished and dropped the biggest load on my face. It felt sooo good. He told me he wouldn't tell anyone about my accident if I went to... Continue»
I work in a hotel and the other night whilst working on the bar, a fairly attractive young girl (roughly 20) was flirting with me all night. She kept joking and saying I should take her back to her room because she was too d***k (she wasn't!) and needed help to get there. I obviously couldn't leave the bar, but when my shift was over at around 3am and she was the only one left in the bar, I thought this was the best time to make a move.
I told her to go and wait for me on the 8th floor, in the fire escape stairwell where I knew no security cameras would see me going there. She said ok a... Continue»
Friend did this yesterday....if you like people doing dumb stuff watch it....mortar tube hits my friend ends up with 4 stitches
“Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.” -Buddha
That quote by Buddha is one of my favorites, and I apply that reasoning to my life on a regular basis. Not believing in anything without deeply thinking about it has helped me form a much more rational view of the world than I ever would have if I had just listened to what other people “believe.” Or at least I believe that to be the case.
One of the things that I always find shocking is how many people just adopt a belief wi... Continue»
As Xhamster entered the porn shoot she didn't look so hot. One of her male costars took notice. He approached the director. "Hey boss, Xhamster looks sick today. You think something may be wrong with her?" The director scratched his chin. "Hey, Xhamster, get over here, quick!" Xhamster turned around and her face was eaten up with advertisements. She walked over to the director. "My God, girl," he gasped. "Your face!" She tried to smile but a 18babysitters.com ad taped her cheek to her chin. "I'm fine," she mumbled. "I have to have these things on me, they help pay for everything, you know, Xha... Continue»
In the whole school no student was more feared the Erin Hardy. Rumors aboud of students being beaten up, teachers threatened and confis**ted d**gs and weapons. The crowd Erin ran with were the baddest of the bad, whenever shit went down Erin was there she was the top dog.
Surprised you didn't I?
You didn't read that wrong, Erin Hardy the toughest Bitch at Mckinnley High was a girl.
My dad was in the Air f***e and as such we moved quite a bit. In fact I had not set foot on Natural American soil in Eight years. He was retiring and got a job Flying for Quintus Airlines thanks to my "Un... Continue»
Okay, before I start this story, let me get one thing straight first :) This first chapter is just a filler, explaining things about the characters and how the boy first meets the girls, so it will not include as much sexual action as the rest of the stories, so please be patient and bare with me, thank you :)
P.S. This story and throughout all the chapters/ parts is based on characters from Anime, so their names will be anime themed :)
"Come in Kaito." A womans voice says from the other side of the door. Kaito, a 19 year old boy who is very attractive, has dark brown hair, soft brown... Continue»
Are you gay?
For the record, I’m not. If I was, I’m not sure that I would admit it, but I like to think I would.
The point is, I’m not, but I get accused of being gay all the time.
Most of it is either just jealousy from weak-minded guys, or wishful thinking from gay dudes, but it does come up.
The funniest example so far is this email I got the other day.
What’s really funny to me is when guys say that they KNOW I’m gay.
Now, I’ve met some gay dudes that were in the closet, and I actually know at least one right now. I guess if you live in a real conservative pla... Continue»
The test were negeative, My scans were normal. Nothing explained what happened to me and honestly I felt just fine. Cassie hailed a cab for me and slid inside. On the ride home, Checking my missed calls and various texts, I remember what got me and Cassie together in the first place. My thoughts. I didnt wanna push it, maybe it was the reason I was here, or maybe I was just being a pansy. So I once again set my thoughts on the curvaceous woman next to me and thought about her touching me. Lo and behold she did just that. Next I thought to the driver that the ride was free. As we pulled up to m... Continue»
This one took a little while. Same as usual, CTRL+F “SEX STARTS HERE” to skip right to the sex. This is based upon a real teacher; I was going to use her real name until I googled it and found every result was her… :P too risky. Anyhow, enjoy!
The last day of the semester was finally here. I fumbled around with a pen on my desk, only half-listening to the very last lecture; nothing of importance would be said, since finals were over. Although I was happy that it was over, like my other colleagues, it was ... Continue»
You're looking through the websites,and you and your spouse are going over countless profiles, from countless swingers,from not only your state,but every state,and all over the world;single males,couples,and what youre gonna notice,is how FEW and FAR and in between,are the single females,who are looking to have sex with another COUPLE.This is all but non-existent,and we will be going over this in the "Holy Grail" chapter of this series.MOST of what you are going to see,are couples, singles males and a few women.You will notice that all of these couples are as varied and as different as they ca... Continue»
I did not write this, just enjoy.
"Oh come on Phyllis, it'll be fun," Brenda pleaded, "you're always saying how you never get a chance to meet anyone and I can guarantee you that the place will be loaded with a lot of guys!!!" Phyllis looked doubtfully at her room mate and replied, "I don't know, Freddy has some pretty weird friends, do you really think we should!?!" "Of course we should, silly," Brenda replied excitedly, "and what you consider weird, I consider "different"!!!" "Well," Phyllis replied, "if you really think so............." "Good, it's settle then," Brenda said happily, ... Continue»
You have been advertising for a PA but only had one response. I had responded to the advert, but I could only attend the interview at 6pm which you had agreed to but it meant you staying on after hours.
Its 5.45pm, you groan to yourself after the day you have had, everyone else has left for the day and this is all you need, you just want to go home and watch some porn to de-stress.
The buzzer goes and you get up to open the door. I introduce myself and put my hand out for you to shake it, you notice I am smartly dressed and you introduce yourself and invite me into your office. I am w... Continue»