Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 72

A hell of a woman

The Stories I'm writing here are absolutely true!

2011, October 02
About 11:45 pm

That Sunday began very quiet and it kept nice and silent. I sat in a room on a revolving chair directly at a broad wooden table and right in front of me some sheet metal signs were placed. On those signs were black numbers. From 1 to 10 for the ratings for the dance performances. Admittedly I only was Claude's conjuror and so his judging, as the Clubs vice-president, was worth more than mine but my view definitely could affect the results. So I sat waiting in the bikers clubhouse together with Claude who w... Continue»
Posted by Bea69 2 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 826  |  
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Xmas Pussy Party

Attended a friends Xmas party and boy did it turn into strip poker. Party lasted until 4am. 8 females and 10 guys. Everybody got fucked, pussy ate and dicks sucked. I mean dicks were getting sucked left and right. I saw one girl with dick up her assz that dick was huge. It was good clean fun. I got my pussy ate and ass hole licked. Then some much needed dick from my date. He was so excited. He had never been to such a party were one minute you was dancing and partying then next getting some ass. I took him in the a room with another female had her suck his dick some more. Then he stuck it in m... Continue»
Posted by Phatpussy714 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 760  |  
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Milking the Love

Richard

In the morning the sun was shining right through our front room windows as I walked in wearing nothing but my gown. The carpet is very soft and the whole room was warm. Jenny was in her gown as she reached for a sheet, a large bed sheet that she folded neatly and placed on the floor as she did so she undone my gown and I got down on my hands and knees on the blanket.



Jenny

As I undone Richards gown his penis jumped out to meet me. I completely removed the gown and as Richard got in position I gently moved his legs apart to allow the air to circulate nicely ... Continue»
Posted by Torqy 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 656  |  
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Foreplay

An old married couple is lying in bed one night.

The wife is curled up, ready to go to sl**p, and the husband turns his bed lamp on to read a book.

As he’s reading, he periodically reaches over to his wife and fondles her special area.

He does this a few times, but only for a very short interval before returning to read his book.

The wife gradually becomes more and more aroused assuming that her husband is seeking some encouragement she gets up and starts stripping in front of him.

The husband is confused and asks:
“Why are you taking off your clothes?”

His wife replies:
“... Continue»
Posted by semper-et-ubique 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 1116  |  
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How to tell if you would be a good pornstar

STRAIGHT MALE EDITION

Every Straight Male thinks they're able to do porn

1. Are you capable of cumming more than once ? not that you will really need to but just in case you happen to get over excited around female performers you wont explode and then have nothing else left in the arsenal.

2. How are your athletic skills ? its one thing to be in a gangbang edge yourself and wait till its your turn to jizz, but its another thing when you have to penetrate another performer in full speed without getting out of breath and stopping.Porn stars usually go half and hal... Continue»
Posted by guess1tw3ll 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 749  |  
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Fucking my Roomate

Fucking my Roomate
Part 1

I was 22 and I remember it was the day before my roommate's birthday. For the sake of the story let's call her Hillary. She is a lesbian (but I had heard stories of her fucking guys a couple of times). Good looking, great body (she was really athletic), and an admitted slut. But I had known her for so long it wasn't really a big deal. I did my thing, she did hers, and I never really thought about fucking her because she always talked about how sex with guys was "gross" that I guess I put a wall up. Besides I was more interested in girls I actually thought I had ... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 3669  |  
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Stranger on a Plane


It was 7 months after the birth of my second c***d and 3 weeks after my tubal ligation. I was mildly anxious because this was my first business trip away from my husband and two k**s in over two years. The trip was important, our company was evaluating a water reclamation project and I was asked to lead the engineering team. I was nervous and my usual self-surety was shaky from the 12 week absence I had taken earlier in the year and the gravity of the current project. Don't get me wrong, I've always been confident in my abilities and I command respect of even the most senior colleagues. My ... Continue»
Posted by Erocus 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 2321  |  
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New Years Eve

A Owen and Eve short story

Story tags: M/F, Adultery, consensual,

10 am, December 31st

Eve finishes packing an overnight bag with everything that she needs for the night. Including a surprise for Owen. She had picked up a silky blue coloured teddy with matching thong, along with other fun stuff.

11 am, December 31st

Owen has finished packing an overnight bag for himself, then packs a bag with food, booze and pot, and heads out the door to where he will be house sitting for new years while his wife holds a girls night and told him to find somewhere else to be for the night.

... Continue»
Posted by drizzcat 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 544  |  
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Christmas Holly

It was early Christmas morning; actually it was 1:30am, when Holly awoke and heard and rustle, she couldn`t place where it was coming from. Suddenly she spotted a figure emerge from around the bedroom door. She knew it wasn’t Luke as he had his firm cock nestled along the crack of her bum cheeks; Holly could tell Luke was dreaming of one of the video`s they had watched on xhamster last night.

Suddenly the figure approached the edge of the bed and you Holly saw that it was Flasher974 Santa; he was dressed in a full Father Christmas outfit with hat, beard, coat and red trousers and black sh... Continue»
Posted by flasher974 2 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 667  |  
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Rich Daughter Becomes A Little Helper

I was looking to make some extra cash, as I was recently “down sized” at my job at the finance company. Living in this fairly well to do middle class neighborhood was difficult so I took any odd jobs that came my way. Being a skilled carpenter, a trade I learned from my father and his father before him, I was able to take on a few nice projects. But all in all I still needed additional income. Hence, why I decided to take on the role of Santa Claus this Christmas.



My neighbors are pretty affluent, always jet setting here and there. Tom is the V.P. of a major company and constantly... Continue»
Posted by boytoy68 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 3493  |  
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omegle

You: kool so u two r wet?? hahaha jk;)
Stranger: yes
Stranger: and horny
Stranger: chsahahha
You: haha really?
Stranger: yep
You: u guys wanna blow me??
Stranger: yep
Stranger: come here
Stranger: you won'y reagret it
You: comes to u
Stranger: ok we ll waitn to u darlig <3
Stranger: 69
You: ok
Stranger: oooh
You: what kinda panties u got on
Stranger: white small panties
You: mmmmmm
Stranger: and no bra
You: mmmm u got big tits\
Stranger: yeees
You: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Stranger: like texas !!!!
You: mmm
Stranger: what u wanna do with them ?:>
You: play with them
Stranger: ... Continue»
Posted by bluenative 2 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 272  |  
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I Just Fucked a Virgin

My wife and I had another one of our legendary fights and I decided to just go stay at a hotel for the night and just relax. The clerk stared at me kind of funny when I went to check in at 9pm and didn't have any ID. I explained to him the fight with my wife and how I'd left my wallet at home and the story about my emergency cash stash in the car and, with a $100 tip, I soon had a no-questions-asked room with double queens.

After dropping off my bag I went down to the restaurant and got in a quick bite. I had a rum & cola with the dinner that I didn't even touch so I just took it back to t... Continue»
Posted by PureCoffee 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 4379  |  
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Adam comes home for Christmas

Adam could not wait to get back to the warmth of Florida from his college in the North East. He liked the university, just not the climate. He was met at his plane by his parents and his f******n year old little s****r, Alice. He was a freshman in college and she was also a freshman, but in high school.





It was very hot that day and she was just wearing a loose halter top and some very short and very tight shorts. It had only been four months since he saw her last, but she seemed to have matured quite a bit. Her tits were now a pretty good B-cup and her ass was filling out nice... Continue»
Posted by adam2010 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 1203  |  
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How I'm Fucking a Scumbag Lawyer



My name is Erin. I'm a 19 year old girl living in Mount Shasta, California. Last month, i tried to log onto my teengirerin xhamster account:

http://xhamster.com/user/teengirerin

But i couldn't log on because xhamster said my password was invalid. Then i went to my account, in the same way as any other user would do, to see what was up. Turns out that this guy named Mike, a 51 year old lawyer & CPA living in California, has hacked into and hijacked my account. I'm really ticked off about it and this story is about how i'm... Continue»
Posted by teengirerin 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 2050  |  
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Top 10 porn myths.

10 - High Heels.
Women wear high heels to bed.

9 - Going Down
When going down on a woman, 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.

8 - Ugly Middle-Aged Men
Women enjoy having sex with ugly middle-aged men.

7 - Suck It
When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".

6 - Busted
When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.

5 - Oh Yeah
Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.

4 - Enjoyable Sexual Practice
A common and enjoyable sexual practice ... Continue»
Posted by diriculous 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 815  |  
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The Party

<a href='http://xhamster.com/photos/view/626082-9957159.html'><img src="http://p2-1.xhamster.com/000/009/957/159_1000.jpg" border="0"></a>





Ten years ago I happen to find myself at one of those uncomfortable pseudo liberal parties in the hills of Hollywood where people usually went to get not-so-quietly d***k, abuse prescription meds and talk about endless unfiltered politics ..
I was there but for the good graces of my clique, a ragtag group of pirate Nixon’s if i ever saw one ..

It was a view into a world I had little use for but could not pull away from .. I had... Continue»
Posted by mondotoken 3 years ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 2560  |  
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Steamy story

I originally wrote this for a chick on a dating site who may or may not have been a dude... or a bot...

I'm looking at that picture of you in the black dress with the white polka dots. I can imagine you wearing that, one spaghetti strap dangling over your tattooed shoulder. Our eyes meet with a sultry glance and your hand teasingly reaches into your dress, exposing more of your creamy white flesh, but not enough to reveal aereola. From the bulge in my pants and the approving look on my face, you know the curves of your toned, slender body are driving me to the edge of sanity. First, yo... Continue»
Posted by Fork 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 348  |  
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christmas joke

3 men die on xmas eve, to get into heaven st peter says u must have sumthing on u that represents xmas, the english man flicks a lighter and says its a candle, st peter lets him pass,, welsh man pulls out a set of keys and jingles them and says they r bells, st peter lets him pass, the irish man pulls out a G string and st peter says how the fuck do they represent xmas?? Paddy said they're carols... Continue»
Posted by diver1uk2003 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 309  |  
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One of Those Days

It was late afternoon as Beth stepped from her office into the cool evening air. Autumn was closing in, evidenced by the goose bumps rising on her bare arms and the involuntary shiver riding up her back.

"Night Beth," her colleague, Barry called, also on his way out. "Brrrrr, you'll need to wrap up warm tonight!"

That's what he thought. Jonny, Beth's newly found beau, had preoccupied her thoughts all day. The vision of his taught naked body, powerful arms and that unbelievable penis was all the warmth she needed tonight. That was the plan anyway and she could feel herself blushing at the... Continue»
Posted by Keepitclandestine 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 504  |  
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Stupid young cunt

I'm getting older now and dont have the patience I used to have, really dealing with the stupid young cunt around now is almost not worth it.

I have a steady piece of cunt that I use, its happy to have me around and I can always get a blowjob or a handy from it. When its on the rag I do it up the shitter too, only problem with it is that its vagina is a monster - really I think ist k** must have come out sideways -haha - no other way to explain how a vag could be that loose. But the best thing abut this cunt is that it understands it place, I dont have to listen to it talk about its favouri... Continue»
Posted by happy_wanking 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1045  |  
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