Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 72

His Thumb Sized Dick...His HUGE Load!

I met a guy in HS and we became friends instantly. Over the years we tried to date on and off, but it never really got anywhere.

We started seeing eachother regularly one year and one night our hormones got the best of us. We kissed every once in a while, but whenever I would reach for his dick he would pull away and say he had to leave...not this time! He kept telling me how bad he wanted to fuck me and I was so curious as to why he kept his dick all to himself for so many years?

He asked me how wet I was as we sat in the car trying to figure out where we were going to go for the even... Continue»
Posted by PeircedPlumpPleasure 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 1814  |  
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The surrogate


Milly inseminated

"Ah Mr and Mrs Jameson. I'm Drss. Dragonmage, but my friends call me Misty."
"Hi I'm Don and this is my good wife Melinda."
The handshakes were firm and purposeful.
"Please take a seat, while I explain the procedure to you."

She waved towards two chairs across her desk. "Would you like a coffee before we start?" "I'm too excited for coffee I'm afraid." Melinda giggled.
Drss.Dragonmage smiled. "That's perfectly natural, after all it is your first time. Now as you already know we aim to ensure that the host is as perfect a match as possible. Which is why w
... Continue»
Posted by MzTania 2 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 515  |  
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That particular morning

Everyday I'd wake up around 7 am and take my morning dump, usually I'd read the newspaper sometimes I'd only have time for a quick one so it was a hastily achieved f***ed one, kind of dump that just shoots straight out which isn't fun when it's not solid as it covers the bowl like that time at my mother-in-laws when I forgot to flush after eating some bad fish.

Any who.

After my dump my wife (Gazzel) would have breakfast waiting for me at about 07:45-08:00, she'd always cook me something good like fried food with a side bowl of healthy cereal which I had the choice to eat but never did ... Continue»
Posted by TheShalong 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 338  |  
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Why Men Cant Commit in Relationship

Issues with trust

Some men might have been hurt a lot by women in the past or maybe saw one of his friends become hurt after being close to a woman. These men might have a hard time trusting women and fear that after getting too close to her and putting a lot of time and effort that she will leave or cheat on him. These kinds of men really don’t want to take that risk.

Just having fun

If you are dating a man in his 20’s, chances are he is just interested in having fun and probably trying to build his own life and career before thinking about a serious committed relationship. Even a ma... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 179  |  
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Fourth of July Slumber Party

This Fourth of July started out just like any other. Little did I know that this day would change my life forever. I went over to my boyfriend's house in the middle of the afternoon for the f****y picnic. The plan was for me to watch fireworks with Danny, my boyfriend, and his f****y and then take his s****r, Whitney, to their aunt's house.

The day went exactly as planned. We went to Danny's grandparents' house for dinner, then to the park to watch fireworks. After fireworks, I gave Danny a kiss goodbye then Whitney and I drove to their aunt's house.

"Want to come up and have a few dri... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 883  |  
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The Word Fuck

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word "fuck". It is the one magical word which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate.

In language, "fuck" falls into many grammatical categories.
•It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John).
•It can be an action verb (John really gives a fuck), a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a fuck), an adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific fuck).
•It can also be used as an adje... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 215  |  
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"30 Minutes or It's Free"

Stan's monotonous job as a pizza delivery driver had been getting him down lately,most of the people didn't give very good tips and he had not gotten a raise in his measly wages for over twelve months.High school graduation party's on this Saturday night were keeping him running about in a frenzy trying to keep up with all the orders.It was a quarter til eleven pm,fifteen minutes before the end of his shift.He parked his car and walked back into the restaurant to collect his wages for the evening.The boss said I've got one more delivery for you to make,we've been swamped with orders and these ... Continue»
Posted by goo4u 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1224  |  
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The Turkish truck diver

The Turkish truck driver.

She burst through the arrivals door at the airport and into the lounge, I could tell that she was horny because she tried to explore my tonsils with her tongue as soon as we connected, I managed to disengage and said “hello” we hugged close again and she tried to bury her face in my neck attempting to bite me but having experienced this before I was ready for it and managed to hold her off while I picked her bags off the trolley.
This by the way is my current girlfriend, she is American born and works in Switzerland as a P.A to a banking director, she is 32 years ... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 656  |  
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Top Reasons Why Men Cheat

There are quite a few reasons that could contribute to why men get involved with other women. Mainly, the sexual attraction, companionship, and curiosity pull men closer to those that they will have an affair with. TV shoes, advertisements, movies, and novels also contribute to the excitement of the lust for more women. While women tend to cheat on their boyfriends, fiancés, or husbands for reasons such as intimacy, sex, and money, men have a few different reasons.

Most of the time men wind up cheating to have more sex. They might lack enough sex in their current relationship, so they might... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 321  |  
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Jamie


They hadn't been married long. Still in the newlywed stage of things. They had, however, settled into a happy routine. Joe's only wish for Jamie - that she be a little more demanding in the bedroom. Jamie was shy, almost timid, not sure of herself when it came to asking for what she wanted. While making love, Joe would try to bring Jamie out of her shell, get her move vocal and involved. Did she like to be touched here? What position felt best? Jamie would try but it was still difficult for her. Joe loved her and accepted that he would always be the more dominant in their relationship. Or n... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 469  |  
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Sonia and Sylvie in Toyland

I was living in a committed relationship with my partner Sylvie, whom you may have met in my previous Courtship stories. I was 4 months pregnant by Sylvie's b*****r Phillipe. We had spent a week in Lyon at a f****y wedding, and then had driven to Paris for a vacation stay.

Sylvie and I arrived in Paris on Thursday evening and registered at a small, elegant hotel just off l'Etoile, that great web of streets radiating from the Arc de Triomphe. Aside from tourism, dining, and promenading Parisian streets, one of our goals was to expand our collection of sex toys.

Prior to a trip to London... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 144  |  
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Alarm cock

I'm not really sure where the dream ended and the reality began, but at some point, I do know that I woke up. It was 2 am and I was dreaming away, about unicorns or chipmunks or naugahyde, or what the fuck ever it is that people dream about that they can't remember the second they wake up, but tonight my dream took a turn. It started out as a light suggestion in the back of my mind of someone groping my breasts. Pretty quickly, that sensation turned and became more intense as I dreamed of someone tweaking and pulling at my nipples and I could feel my dreamself becoming aroused as the hands ... Continue»
Posted by 9carteam 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 474  |  
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Omegle cybering C;

Stranger: i am admiring your boobies

Stranger: and imagining myself softly pinching your nipples :P

You: :D And I can imagine myself..Maybe moaning..Mayybeee if your good enough :3

Stranger: ohhh, youll moan

Stranger: i am pushing you back by your boobs agaist the wall

Stranger: and pressing my hips to yours so you cant move

You: Oh wow, So I ended losing control...Hehe well I like your style C:

Stranger: ;)

You: What if I were to then turn the tables and kiss your neck licking down your chest and sucking on your stomach ? Would you like that, Or am I the only who wou... Continue»
Posted by UNICORN_SEX 2 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 290  |  
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Theatrical

Theatrical
By: The Priest

I was about to start the engine when my mobile phone rang, it was Mary, she was unable to make the theatre date because one of her c***dren had gone down with some kind of virus so I decided to make the girlie night into a one woman night rather than give up seeing the one woman show at the theatre especially after I had been so looking forward to it, I had the tickets which were not cheap, I knew the seats were in a perfect spot and the artiste was a fantastic American woman who I had always admired for her talent and the life she had lived to the full, so why n... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 2 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 484  |  
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Types of Sex between a Couple

In order to fully enjoy these practices, you must ensure you understand all of the potential ramifications prior to engaging in them.

Three is not a crowd

It is a common dream which in today’s time and age has the potential to be oh-so real. It involves you, your partner, and another person. Most people enter it to experience a new form of sex as they are bored of the ‘vanilla’ sex they have with their partner. However, the best would be if all three of you are reasonably well known to each other and comfortable enough to enjoy a sexual act.

Advantage: You have the chance to spice up ... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 273  |  
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Some things I 'Do' Like

Cum drops on noses and stories well written
Sensual kisses will have me quite smitten
Hard bulging packages, fun with no strings
These are a few of my favourite things

Creamy filled pussies and tongues in my anus
Light hearted spanking as long as it's painless
Fun with my toy and the joy that it brings
These are a few of my favourite things

Girls in tight dresses with sexy eye lashes
But NO fakes or skinny rakes or vulgar pumped gashes
Beds with 4 posters and reinf***ed springs
These are a few of my favourite things

Concealed love bites......
Sexy playfights....
When I'm f... Continue»
Posted by oh_so_horny 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 312  |  
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Something happened on the way to Santa Fe Springs

One day in 1991, my girlfriend asked me to take a short cut on the way back to her apartment. She asked me to turn left at the next street, so I did. A little ways up the street, she asked me to pull over, which I also did. She said, "We're here."

I said, "Where are we?"

She replied, "At a restaurant. I'd like you to try something. It's called calamari."

We went inside and I noticed something odd. There were lots of tables, with absolutely nothing on them, and only two chairs with one against a wall and the other at the same table but facing oppositely. No one else was there, e... Continue»
Posted by Whoregasm4u 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 2010  |  
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"I think I can" and I did....

_I didn't see niche for this kind of topic so I'll let you know that it is mind control and humor. Thank you for reading_


I'm a pretty impressive guy, 5 feet 10 inches tall, mocha skin color, big biceps and a six pack the ladies love. Were it all falls off is my pick up game, I suck at hitting on the girls. My one liner cliches are gut wrenching. "Hey baby want me to google your twitter?" seriously i'm probably the only man in extistance that has used that crap. So while i'm sitting at the bar nursing a double rum and coke, thinking naughty thoughts about the blonde two seats down. In my ... Continue»
Posted by dbam69 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 279  |  
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"Mail Call".Aka When Jack Met sandra.

The Year 1982.Taking my First trip to Myrtle Beach with the Girlfriend and her s****rs.All seven of them.We all Check into our rooms at this Cheap Motel Called "The Sun Villa".
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A Little run down,But a good Price for Myrtle Beach.
So as we All got settled in, I walk out onto our Front porch and Notice a sexxy Black Thickassed Chick Sunbathing by the Pool.
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Thinking to Myself Damn Like to Get With her Sometime.
Any way when I go Back i... Continue»
Posted by beachbootyman01 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 472  |  
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The Vulcan Nutt Pinch

My first two years of High School I was in the Marching Band.I was a Third chair Trumpet Player.One Saturday afternoon the and was headed to Marion N.C.to play in a Christmas Parade.

I'd Gotten to the school a little late, so I ended up on the Bus with the Flag Girls and on he same seat with one of the Chubby ones"can't remember her name but she must have known something about male anatomy.

Anyway she and two other girls began dicussing on who could make a man cumm faster, Problably to see if I would be embarassed.

But I just laugh along with them.Seems even though they were some what... Continue»
Posted by beachbootyman01 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 706  |  
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