Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 71

10 strange facts about kissing

Think you know a thing or two about kissing? You probably do. But the facts below are so off the beaten path, we’ll bet you don’t know them all—and they could come in handy. Not only could they provide some steamy “Did you know…?” chit chat, but they’ll help you see all the benefits a satisfying lip lock can bring into your life. Happy smooching!

1. Two out of every three couples turn their heads to the right when they kiss.

2. A simple peck uses two muscles; a passionate kiss, on the other hand, uses all 34 muscles in your face. Now that’s a rigorous workout!

3. Like fingerprints or ... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 430  |  
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Sex-facts' you never knew

1. Globally, lovers are having sex 139 times a year. The French are the lovemaking pacesetters, according to the Durex Global Sex Survey 2002, coming in at 167 times each 365 days.

2. Condoms are biodegradable — some of them. Lambskin and latex condoms are biodegradable, but polyurethane condoms aren't.

3. Sex-enhancing CDs are being sold for setting the mood. Try some classical options to rock your world: Shacking Up to Chopin, Making Out to Mozart and Bedroom Bliss with Beethoven are available.

4. Don't douche — it's not recommended anymore. Douching washes away the healthy bacte... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 393  |  
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STREET STORIES: Malina and her Dogs

MALINA
By Webb


After finishing my time in the service I came back to Tampa this was mid ’97. My b*****r introduced me to his circle of friends and I hit off with all of them pretty well. They all smoked a ton of weed and back then they were heavy into video games. I’m no gamer but it was good company at the time. We would all congregate at a guy named Jeff’s house. People would fall through the spot, rollup and listen to good hip-hop.




There were a few girls that would come through the spot as well and one of them was Malina. Malina was white about 26 years old with shoulder le... Continue»
Posted by webborelly 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1091  |  
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My girlfriends mother Part 6

My girlfriends mother Part 6

It seems like you are enjoying my adventures with my girlfriend’s f****y so I will give you one more then that’s the finish.

I have already told you how horny and raunchy my girlfriend Gillian can get especially when we are out and how I took Ruth to a club in Leeds and how Pam can get so possessive and how it has been bothering me.

Again it was Wednesday afternoon and I was sitting on the couch on the lounge with Ruth watching TV, she was sitting on my left with my left arm around her shoulders and her left leg d****d over the arm of the couch so her legs... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 1103  |  
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My girlfriends mother Part 5

My girlfriend’s mother part 5

This story is the very strangest of all and it involves the promise I made to my girlfriends mother Ruth to e****t her s****r Sarah to Edinburgh to a conference, last episode I left you having just completed a night out on the town where Ruth got fucked and so did I but not by either Ruth or my girlfriend Gillian.

The f****y had been a bit vague about the arrangements for the trip as I said last time but I just put it down to women’s organising something and thought “ if it goes pear shaped I’ll pick it up as I go along” Sarah was supposed to be arriving at ... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 7562  |  
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Lets Meet

WE TALKED ON THE PHONE AND YOU SOUNDED NERVOUS....TALKING MUCH SHIT TO A GIRL.....TELLING ME WHAT ALL YOU WOULD DO TO THE PUSSY..IM LIKE YEAH RIGHT ANOTHER MAN TELLING ME THAT THEY ARE GOING TO HIT IT LIKE IT NEED TO BE HITTED....

SO I SAT THERE LISTENING TO YOU BLOW ALL THIS STEAM OUT OF YOUR MOUTH...THEN FINALLY I ASK YOU WAS YOU THROUGH USING UP YOUR ENERGY TALKING...YOU SAID HUH...I SAID ARE YOU THROUGH USING UP ALL OF YOUR ENERGY TALKING....

YOU ASK ME WHY..I SAY TO YOU PUT UP OR SHUT UP...PUT YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS....YOU GOT QUIET....I SAY DONT GET QUIET NOW...YOU WAS TALK... Continue»
Posted by ladytrucka42 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 605  |  
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The Beachbootyman's Big Secret

One thing I never told any of the Women I ever Had sex with,was how I could last so long.It was something I always kept to myself.
But Now I Think it Okay to reveal how I do it.
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First of all it's not d**gs,No Zen consentration or thinking of Baseball.i've heard a lot of guys say they do that.
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It begin on day I decide it get circumsized.When to a Local Doctor in my hometown of Gaffney S.C.to get it done.And in a Couple week he had me set... Continue»
Posted by beachbootyman01 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 744  |  
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Buffalo and Shanti and Erin! Oh My!

PRINCE GEORGE, BRITISH COLUMBIA - My name is Erin. I'm an 18 years old girl living in Montana. Right now i'm on the home stretch of a road trip through British Columbia, the Yukon and Alaska. It was just me and my cat Tiger when i started the trip. Now Shanti, my new pregnant girlfriend (8 months), is with me on the way back home. Shanti just ditched her boyfriend. His name is Buffalo.

*********

I first met Buffalo and Shanti in the town of Whitehorse in the Yukon. Buffalo is 25 years old and Shanti is 21 years old. They made a striking couple in the laundromat where we met. Both of them... Continue»
Posted by teengirerin 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1420  |  
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My girlfriends mother part 4

My girlfriend’s mother, Part 4

Those of you who have been following my adventures with my girlfriend’s f****y will by now know all the characters so I will not go over them again if not then I would suggest that you go to the original and start there.

My next story has quite a few different facets that I hope you will enjoy.

It starts with one of my visits to service my girlfriends mother one rainy Wednesday afternoon, we were relaxing after the first frenzied session and were sitting up on the bed, we were both naked and she was sitting on my cock rocking gently, I was laying half ... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 2 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 1883  |  
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My girlfriends mother part 3

My girlfriend’s mother….. Part 3.

If you have been keeping track of this story which I hope you have and have given it good marks then you will by now know the characters involved but just to recap, Gillian is my girlfriend, Ruth is her mother, Pam is her aunt/cousin and Grace is her other aunt and the eldest s****r to Ruth.

During part two I mentioned that Pam had broached the subject of Anal sex, I skirted around it a bit because it would have made that part far too long and you might have been asl**p before half way but I will now go into more detail and tell you what happened.
As I ... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1694  |  
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My girlfriends mother

My girlfriend’s mother

You have all read stories about girlfriend’s mothers and mothers in law etc. well here is another that tells the tale of a lady who later became my mother in law for the selfish reason that I enjoyed the close relationship with both her and her s****rs as well as the girlfriend who later became my wife.

I had been going out with Gillian for about 2 months when her father ran off with his girlfriend and set up home on the south coast of England, wife and daughter were devastated, I couldn’t understand it because Ruth, Gillian’s mother was a fabulous looking woman, g... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 3846  |  
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My girfriends mother part2

My girlfriend’s mother ……part 2

You remember that in the first part I was going out with a girl called Gillian and that I had fucked both her mother and her aunt in a session of debauchery that lasted all afternoon, if you have not read it I suggest you read it first because this second part is not as long but has a lot of strong connections to the first apart from the link of Gillian and her mother.

I made regular visits to the house to service the two ladies, Gillian’s mum had to be on a Wednesday afternoon because of her working in the shop and Wednesday was the only day she got off a... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 2 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 1334  |  
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His Thumb Sized Dick...His HUGE Load!

I met a guy in HS and we became friends instantly. Over the years we tried to date on and off, but it never really got anywhere.

We started seeing eachother regularly one year and one night our hormones got the best of us. We kissed every once in a while, but whenever I would reach for his dick he would pull away and say he had to leave...not this time! He kept telling me how bad he wanted to fuck me and I was so curious as to why he kept his dick all to himself for so many years?

He asked me how wet I was as we sat in the car trying to figure out where we were going to go for the even... Continue»
Posted by PeircedPlumpPleasure 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 1814  |  
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The surrogate


Milly inseminated

"Ah Mr and Mrs Jameson. I'm Drss. Dragonmage, but my friends call me Misty."
"Hi I'm Don and this is my good wife Melinda."
The handshakes were firm and purposeful.
"Please take a seat, while I explain the procedure to you."

She waved towards two chairs across her desk. "Would you like a coffee before we start?" "I'm too excited for coffee I'm afraid." Melinda giggled.
Drss.Dragonmage smiled. "That's perfectly natural, after all it is your first time. Now as you already know we aim to ensure that the host is as perfect a match as possible. Which is why w
... Continue»
Posted by MzTania 2 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 515  |  
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That particular morning

Everyday I'd wake up around 7 am and take my morning dump, usually I'd read the newspaper sometimes I'd only have time for a quick one so it was a hastily achieved f***ed one, kind of dump that just shoots straight out which isn't fun when it's not solid as it covers the bowl like that time at my mother-in-laws when I forgot to flush after eating some bad fish.

Any who.

After my dump my wife (Gazzel) would have breakfast waiting for me at about 07:45-08:00, she'd always cook me something good like fried food with a side bowl of healthy cereal which I had the choice to eat but never did ... Continue»
Posted by TheShalong 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 338  |  
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Why Men Cant Commit in Relationship

Issues with trust

Some men might have been hurt a lot by women in the past or maybe saw one of his friends become hurt after being close to a woman. These men might have a hard time trusting women and fear that after getting too close to her and putting a lot of time and effort that she will leave or cheat on him. These kinds of men really don’t want to take that risk.

Just having fun

If you are dating a man in his 20’s, chances are he is just interested in having fun and probably trying to build his own life and career before thinking about a serious committed relationship. Even a ma... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 179  |  
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Fourth of July Slumber Party

This Fourth of July started out just like any other. Little did I know that this day would change my life forever. I went over to my boyfriend's house in the middle of the afternoon for the f****y picnic. The plan was for me to watch fireworks with Danny, my boyfriend, and his f****y and then take his s****r, Whitney, to their aunt's house.

The day went exactly as planned. We went to Danny's grandparents' house for dinner, then to the park to watch fireworks. After fireworks, I gave Danny a kiss goodbye then Whitney and I drove to their aunt's house.

"Want to come up and have a few dri... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 882  |  
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The Word Fuck

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word "fuck". It is the one magical word which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate.

In language, "fuck" falls into many grammatical categories.
•It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John).
•It can be an action verb (John really gives a fuck), a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a fuck), an adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific fuck).
•It can also be used as an adje... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 215  |  
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"30 Minutes or It's Free"

Stan's monotonous job as a pizza delivery driver had been getting him down lately,most of the people didn't give very good tips and he had not gotten a raise in his measly wages for over twelve months.High school graduation party's on this Saturday night were keeping him running about in a frenzy trying to keep up with all the orders.It was a quarter til eleven pm,fifteen minutes before the end of his shift.He parked his car and walked back into the restaurant to collect his wages for the evening.The boss said I've got one more delivery for you to make,we've been swamped with orders and these ... Continue»
Posted by goo4u 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1224  |  
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The Turkish truck diver

The Turkish truck driver.

She burst through the arrivals door at the airport and into the lounge, I could tell that she was horny because she tried to explore my tonsils with her tongue as soon as we connected, I managed to disengage and said “hello” we hugged close again and she tried to bury her face in my neck attempting to bite me but having experienced this before I was ready for it and managed to hold her off while I picked her bags off the trolley.
This by the way is my current girlfriend, she is American born and works in Switzerland as a P.A to a banking director, she is 32 years ... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 655  |  
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