Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 71
Following the SmackDown television tapings on July 26, 2011 at Philadelphia,
Pennsylvania's Wells Fargo Center, SmackDown General Manager Teddy Long is
leaving his office. "Teddy... b*o.... Before you go I got a great idea!" Zack
Ryder says as a he approaches Teddy while sighs as his newly assigned
assistant comes towards him.
"Zack... the show's over..." Teddy Long says as he looks at the Long Island
"b*o are you serious? This the WWE... the show's never over!" Zack smiles.
Teddy sighs again, "What is it now Zack?"
"b*o... I got a great idea...The Diva Broski ... Continue»
Omby Amby picked Dorothy up and threw her over his shoulder. She laughed as he carried her to the stern of the ship. There behind the ships wheel was a table, with maps of Oz. Omby placed Dorothy down and slide the maps off. His cock still rock hard, even cumming so much in Dorothy mouth. He got up on the table and laid back.
The stern had a few lanterns, but it was the moon that illuminated it. The moon's light hung over the ship as it made its journey and Dorothy could see Omby cock, sticking up in all its magnificence. She climbed up on the table,facing him and position herself over tha... Continue»
This story is completely true and takes place about 3 years ago (2009). I had been seeing my ex girlfriend for about 2 months at this time and we had done pretty much everything but sex. Normally we would see each other once maybe twice a week because we lived about an hour away from each other. So because we were teenagers, we just needed to do something sexual every time we go together. Usually this would end up in her giving me head, or me fingering her.
The reason we did not actually have sex is because we were both virgins and she wanted to wait a little while before we eventually ... Continue»
Leandra walked out to the throne room. Looking up at the blacken throne of her father, now her's to rule. "Servant come forth and show yourself." She turned from the throne to a small nome coming out of the shadows. He was of average nome height. Had round thin glasses birched on a long nose. His beard was the color of coal. His long robe dark like fresh spilled bl**d, covering his small frame.
"Yes my Queen, what can I do for you."
"What is your name."
"Looppen, your majesty."
"Well Looppen you are my new right hand. You have heard Kaliko screams. Betray me or disappoint me and yo... Continue»
question to discuss:
are u sick of "horny people" on here too?
D: let's send them to conversex and clean omegle up!!!
you:i am horny
you:i am sick of all non horny
you:whats the reason of web chatting if there is no sex involved?
you:i mean come on
you:i was holding my peepee in my hand
you:and i was trying to show it to the girls
you:and i forged my likes list
you:and put Bieber and one direction etc.
Although this is the third story about Sarah, an ex-girlfriend of mine, it’s actually about the first time that I discovered what a horny slutty exhibitionist she was. I hope you enjoy hearing about her exhibitionism, just as her current boyfriend will, once it’s published and I send him a link.
Sarah and I were invited to a fancy dress party. Sarah wanted to go as a sexy schoolgirl, complete with a very, very short skirt, black stockings and suspender belt, half undone blouse, etc. I should have realised right from that moment what a total exhibitionist she was and dumped her. But, ... Continue»
Leandra screamed, as Kaliko pushed his whole cock down into her ass. His boney old hands, holding those cheeks apart for his cock. He watched as his pale cock pushed that green hole wide. Leandra threw her head back, his cock so deep and so good.
"Oh fucking god, don't stop. Feed my ass that cock".
He smiled and threw his weight into the next thrust. Shoving his cock down to the base. Leandra could feel his coarse pubic hair rubbing against her ass cheeks and hole. He held his cock in her ass grinding around inside. Making her feel all his cock.
"Dorothy why don't you sit in front of ... Continue»
It was nearly midnight and Molly was bored out of her mind. Her friend Peter was here and he insisted that she took the bed. It was extremely hot out but that didn't seem to bother Peter. They chatted about school and parents for awhile until Peter changed the conversation to relation ships...
"So who's the lucky guy that gets to spend lunch with you?" asked Peter mockingly.
"Peter shut up.. you know I don't have a boyfriend.. and what about you and Sarah?" Tutted Molly with a hint of jealousy. Peter laughed and said something about breaking up with her a couple days ago but something else ... Continue»
"We gotta go out and get our Rage on!" Spence shouted smashing an empty Bud bottle.
"Yeah I don't feel up to that Spence." I said downing the last of my beer.
"Come on Zach you so need this, especially after a bad break-up. And as luck would have it I know the perfect place."
We hopped into spence's car and drove to some out of the way building in a part of town I normally wouldn't go.
"Where are we?" I asked.
"It's a little off the beaten path, but it has exactly what you need."
"What Hep C or maybe a Staph Infection?"
We walked down a set of rusting... Continue»
Leandra slide her mouth away from Kaliko cock. Stood up and began removing her clothing. Sliding her black gown over her head. She watched as Dorothy opened her mouth, sucking up and down his slim curved cock.
"Your body looks amazing my dear Leandra."
"I hate you for this Kaliko."
He laughed as his fingers slide through Dorothy hair. "You know you could stop. But the spell in the wine has heighten your deepest desires. Why can't you be like your friend Dorothy. She's enjoying herself." Dorothy opened her mouth wider and took his whole cock down. Her face buried in his white and gra... Continue»
Hello to all readers i will share my first sex experience who was in 2010 in september on 16 date with a friend of mine colegue from my higt school and banch colegue also .
wee was colegue from about 2 yers and him was next to me in all those time him make many time good joke with me and him make me lauch a loot what him it was my best best friend ever i never have in my mind i will make with him sex ever until one day him ask me after class if im agree to make until at home on foot i was agree the weather was good and i say yes why not lets wolk until home .
On the road wee was talk about ... Continue»
A woman I have been friends with for the last four years invited me over to hang out at her Apt. She had a friend over, and I had it in my head the friend without the boyfriend would be there, and I might possibly hook up with said friend. I brought a fifth of R&R and even shoved a few condoms in my pocket, just in case. When I arrived, my heart fell. Her single friend wasn't there; alas, it was the one girl that had a boyfriend. I wasn't that upset, I just thought, maybe. So, I broke out the bottle and we started drinking anyway.
As the afternoon progressed, I sat on the back porch w... Continue»
Leandra followed the snake like white trail, down the long winding tunnels. She knew Dorothy and the Oz guard had a good head start, but didn't realize it was so far. It seemed like the tunnels twisted and turned forever. It took her a good half hour before she heard Dorothy voice.
Dorothy and Omby were hiding behind a stone pillar. Leandra snuck up behind them and tapped Dorothy on the shoulder. She almost jumped out of her clothes. But as Dorothy jumped, Omby Amby instinctively grabbed ahold of Leandra throat. His grip surprised Leandra. Seeing his lanky frame would never make a person t... Continue»
This piece is a chapter extracted from my novel "Toggenburg" a lesbian love story set in the mountains of Switzerland which I've posted in case any Xhamster reader might enjoy it.
“We are going to get wet!” declared Sarah firmly. It was a fair analysis as she and Daniela stood huddled in the doorway of the Hotel Toggenburg contemplating the wretched weather before them. It was still raining heavily and the wind was blowing the sheets of rain around in a bewildering variety of directions. Umbrellas promised to be hazardous accessories ra... Continue»
Well let’s just say I’m the mountainman66 I got that nickname so long ago I don’t even remember why. I’m a big old boy somewhat built like a tank, a water tank.
And like any good story worth telling, you have to have a protagonist and an antagonist.
But with this story you get to decide who is who.
It all started with my divorce, it left me somewhat high and dry, and not really caring about the opposite sex. Now who ever come up with that line had it right on the money. Opposite sex, what a laugh. More like obstinate sex.
BUT I’M NOT BITTER!
Okay now back to... Continue»
Not being a big drinker there are not many bar stories that I can tell but I do have this one that is just so out there it’s hard to believe.
And I was there.
I’ve always been a motorcycle rider, it started out that I need transportation that was cheap starting a f****y on a retail pay limits your budget. So 10 year old Hondas or Kawasaki’s were what I could get.
Well after riding in any weather cold, wet, sleet and snow most people that I worked with or passed me on the road or were passed by thought that I was crazy or just one hard ass.
And I n... Continue»
"Do you like watching me?"
"I know I shouldn't... but I can't help it. You're so lovely."
"It's alright, really. I can tell you enjoy it by that smile on your face."
"Alright... now I'm embarrassed..."
"Please don't be. I like it when you look at me..."
"Yes... especially when you're looking like you're trying to not get caught..."
"I thought you didn't want me to be embarrassed..."
"I don't... I want you to look at me..."
"You do look very nice..."
"Are you trying to imagine me naked?"
"You're hard, aren't ... Continue»
So as im sitting in my boss's house after a long day at work i sit down at a distant table away from him and his partner and do my regular internet routine, as in check e mails and look on facebook, but then one day i "stumble" upon this site or xtube and watch some videos.
As i watch the videos i get hard and start to jerk off. As my boss and his partner are watching tv i hit the poppers and rub my rock hard cock always getting so close to coming and then hold it as they get up and walk around the house.
His daughter (blonde gorgeous little 19 yr old college nerdy type, Great body a... Continue»
So here I am again telling you another True Story of myself. I was talking to a friend of mine and of course the subject turned to sex. We started to share horror/funny stories and I thought, why not write another story for xhamster! So here is a quick little embarassing story from my past...
So I met the hot chocolate number form Trinidad. Her body was perfect. I mean porn star perfect. She had a boob job that you only knew about cuz she told you. She had the stereo typical black girl ass where it is full, thick, and round. Her face reminded me of an early Stacey Dash ( black girl ... Continue»
This, like all the stories I post on here, is a true story.
I studied arts in high school, which basically meant my school was a melting pot of stoners, hot alternative chicks, emo k**s and a bunch of teacher’s still thinking they’re 16 years old. The school was one giant orgy: over the four years I attended it, I must’ve fucked about 30 to 35 girls, including all of my female classmates but one. I have so many stories to tell about my time there, but I’ll start with just one.
That time in the bushes.
At one of our school parties, I’d made up with this girl who was a year younger than... Continue»