Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 70

Exhibitionism in the airport

Let me start of by saying everything you are about to read is 100% factual they occurred 2 years ago to me personally and it is a deeply erotic memory for me.

So here I was completely out of my mind desperately staggering through the airport in Rome. About 5 hours beforehand I'd gotten d***k and swallowed a litre of cheap corked wine (not fun) and if I didn't have friends with me I wouldn't have made it through the front door. But with them half carrying me I made it to boarding where I had an hour to sober up.

Leaving my friends I practically collapsed into a stall in the airport toil... Continue»
Posted by guyginger 3 years ago  |  Categories: Gay Male, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Always keep your condoms in your car.

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year.
There was only one little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful younger s****r.

My prospective s****r-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly
bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate because she never did it
when she was near anyone else.

One day her 'little' s****r called and asked me to come over by her house, She was alone when I arrived,
and she whispered to me that she had fee... Continue»
Posted by moonrider 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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THE NEW NEIGHBORS part 1

THUMP
THUMP THUMP
My husband exhales a loud sigh of disgust.
THUMP THUMP THUMP
"They're at it again," he said with sickening groan in his voice.
THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP
It was getting more rapid and rhythmic now.
"Yes, I hear it," I answer him.
"Doesn't it bother you at all?" he asked when he did not hear the proper tone of corresponding disgust in my voice.
"It's natural," I said after a momentary silence as I considered my answer. Nothing was going to satisfy him if it didn't match his own view.
THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP
Quicker. The bedposts were pounding on the opposite side... Continue»
Posted by slappywag64 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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My bestfriends dad and me

ok this is the most weird day i had and its true. one day me and my friend planned a sl**pover at her house, we got to her bed room and she said she forgot something down stairs and she left me upstairs. im thinking "what a ass" and i hear the door across the hallway opening and their he was, her dad sexy,strong,six pack,young, and had cute brown hair,hotter then hell i blushed when he seen me and he smiled and said "oh you must be my little girls bestie" and laughed i laughed to and said yes, Oh lol so might want the part when it was night and my friend left to get food for a long time..... i... Continue»
Posted by babychiken44 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Fucking a Friend

Please bare with me this is my first story.

Back in highschool I was never the biggest player. By the end of my 4 years I only had sex with three girls, but it was great every time. This is the story of my second, because it was especially sexy.

Her name was Berg, a nickname given to her by friends. Admittedly, not the classiest or sexiest nickname, but it didn't matter. Because while she didn't have the most beautiful face, Berg had a rockin body.

She had small D-cup breasts that she usually hid behind band T-shirts or hoodies, and a nice thick ass for a white girl that, while it di... Continue»
Posted by fisherflirt 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor  |  
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What Kerri wants she gets

Well to start I'm Tony my wife and I have a good thing going see she loves to find women around 28-45 that are married have k**s and never had sex with another women and not only bed them but do it in a way that she has perfected over the years in which she controls them. Kerri is one of her ladys about three years back Kerri went to a dress store and while trying on a dress my wife Kat steped into the dressingroom and after some talking, rubing, and a little f***eing had Kerri two fingers deep and panting hard Kat bought her the dress took her to her own home and licked, sucked fingered, an... Continue»
Posted by shotguner 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The Secret to Cumming in Secret

The other night my girlfriend asked me not to cum in her because she didn't want to "get all sticky." She does that sometimes, and I did what I always do. I shoot the first few pumps of cum in her pussy, then pull out and shoot the rest on her stomach, pubes, tits, or whatever. This time, I shot the rest of my cum on her ass and the small of her back, because I'd been fucking her doggy style. I like fucking her from behind when she doesn't want my cum in her because I can get a shot or two more in her than usual and she can't see to wonder why I don't cum on her as much as normal, and I alw... Continue»
Posted by PureCoffee 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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The Dirty Game!

I still kinda get a boner when I write about this story...

It was the month of December. I had been very excited cuz my cousin s****r was coming, along with uncle and aunt that day to spend a couple of days with us. I was young then. Maybe 12 or so...so naturally the prospect of arrival of guests at our home made me feel really excited...

Finally they arrived at about seven in the morning. Uncle, aunt aunt and her. It had been so long since I had last seen them! My cousin seemed to have grown twice the size I had last seen her.

We spent the whole day playing, watching movies and havi... Continue»
Posted by aqua2 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Lap Dance Heaven

Like most towns do these days we have our share of adult entertainment establishments. One day I decided to reward myself after a hard day’s work and visit one. As usual, when I entered the place in the middle of the day, the interior is very dark and I couldn’t see shit until my eyes could adjust. I walked in feeling like a blind man; my hands reaching out in front of me feeling around making sure I wasn’t going to run into something or someone. I hoped I wasn’t going to trip over a table but I didn’t mind if my arms wrapped around one of the ladies who were dancing there. Just as long as the... Continue»
Posted by bigsoftee 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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My own personal nurse

Last week I came down with a small cold I caught at a time out with some friends. I decided it was best to stay home and rest my head. Leanne called like she normally does every morning to check up on me before class. I explained that I was sick with a cold. She asked to come by after class in the afternoon and I told her she can come over anytime.

Later that day Leanne arrives. We hug and kiss as she walks inside my apartment. Leanne cooked dinner for the both of us. She asked if she can stay the night to keep an eye on me since I was ill. I told her yes and she asked to change in my clot... Continue»
Posted by Johnny916 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Fate

Fate: Noun
"The Development of events outside a person's control, regarded as determined by a Supernatural power."

The last few months had not been going well for Sam, he lost his job and his girlfriend cheated on him with his best friend. After bouncing around from job to job he landed in a garage. A massive step down from his last job but thanks to a love of Cars given to him by his Father he was happy. He quickly found a kindred spirit in Owen, a fellow Mechanic and car buff, the two became fast friends.

On one particular evening Owen was invited to go out for a night of drinking a... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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ALL MY SINS REMEMBER'D part 3

After numerous flutes of wine Kathy Lee was becoming very vocal despite Hoda's vain attempts to silence her proved to be. The only think that silenced her was when she was sucking my cock. She held it in her hands and then cast glance over at Hoda and a mischievious smile smile across her face.
"Reminds of that visit to the farm," she said. "Remember, Hoda. The stables?"
Hoda's face tightened and reddened and she gave Kathy Lee a solid punch on the arm and pushed her head downward and filled her mouth with my engorged prick. She cast a nervous glance over at me, which I responded with an... Continue»
Posted by slappywag64 3 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  
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Too Tired to Fuck

One time while my wife was pregnant we had just climbed into bed. She was tired but also felt like sex. She wanted sl**p more than sex though and practically passed out in a minute. She sl**ps in only her panties, so I started gently groping her breasts and lightly squeezing her nipples. Her nipples got hard and she sighed a few times. She didn't wake up at all so I kept going until her nipples started leaking milk. That always made her body want more. It made me want more, too. She was on her side and u*********sly rolled to her back and spread her legs as if it was instinct. I had been hard ... Continue»
Posted by gorkamorka 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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SHE WANTED ALL OF ME IN HER MOUTH...

THIS IS JUST AN ACCOUNT OF THE GREATEST ORAL EXPERIENCE I EVER HAD.. I SHORT-CUT RIGHT TO THE JUICY PART.. BUT I GUARANTEE THIS IS ALL 100% HONESTY..

WHEN SHE SAID SHE WANTED TO 69 WITH MY, I LAY ON MY BACK GETTING MY HEAD COMFORTABLE ON THE PILLOWS... SILENTLY SHE WAVED HERE FINGER @ ME NEGATIVELY & GRABBING MY HAND SHE TUGGED/URGED ME UP & OFF THE BED.. ONCE I WAS UP, SHE LAY DOWN.. ONLY REVERSED (HER FEET TOWARDS THE HEADBOARD, HEAD HANGING FREELY OVER THE EDGE OF THE BED.. GAZING UP @ ME SHE TOLD ME, "NOW I WANT YOU TO MAKE LOVE TO MY PUSSY WITH YOUR TONGUE @ THE THE SAME TIME YO... Continue»
Posted by jboi626 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Almost caught getting head

I was dating a very sexy blonde. I would go to her house everyday just to fuck our brains out. She always loved to film us going at in every room of the house and she loved sucking my cock. I was living in high heaven with this chick. One night we were in her living room having a bit of fun when we heard someone walking down the stairs. We paniced and put on our clothes with not a moment to spare. I stood up with a raging hard on right as her dad walked around the corner. I said "Hey Mr. B, Katie is going to walk me to my car" he said "bye" and I managed to make it 5' down the stairs before sh... Continue»
Posted by Kyle2290 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Dead Rosed

I haven't been able to sl**p lately. I started a new shift at work, and it seems like the world is always asl**p, while I'm awake at crazy hours,

working hard to afford the life I want us to live. I never wanted her to feel like I didn't care about her needs, because I do. I guess I just have trouble

exspressing how I feel sometimes. But i do it all for her. I do it all for us. She says I don't try hard enough to make time for her. She says that I

concern myself too much with money, and the things I think we "need". But I'm just trying to provide. I heard her talking in her sl**p ... Continue»
Posted by javabot9000 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Funny blowjob in a nerd's car

Hello everyone, this is my first story here... This is a real one, i haven't many of them to tell so in the future i could switch to fantasy. I'm also not english so tell me about my writing :-p
By now: here the facts. I was 23 and i broke up with my boyfriend after almost 1 year, i was very sad, angry and, must admit, cock-hungry.
That night a good friend of mine held a birthday party in a nightclub, we danced and had a very good time, drinking much. Aware of me being a good drinker, my friend drove me to the party. There, however, she found a very handsome man to go home with, and asked me... Continue»
Posted by Bailight 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Great Sex

There is a difference between sex and great sex. Sex is just doing it and getting it done. Great sex is enjoying it and making it last maybe even for days. Undressing each other and marveling each body. I love to undress the man and kiss the bare skin as I uncover it. I want him to do the same to me. Lick amd suck each others nipples. I really love everything underneath a mans pants. That nice thick cock, the full balls and of course the sexy ass. Ass is my favorite. Kiss and lick those ass cheeks then spread them and find that nice bud. Lick all around it and kiss it and surprise him when I i... Continue»
Posted by polygirl42 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Does Your Girl Clean Your Cock?

Standing in the doorway to my apartment with Becs, I think back to meeting her for the first time. I'd been playing pool with Brian, my at-the-time and current roommate, in our dorm's community room, which looked like a huge living room furnished with the same aqua blue tables and chairs we had in our rooms, a flat screen TV, couches everywhere, and a ratty old pool table. I'd gotten a game in pretty much every day that year, our freshman year, and was getting to be okay. Becs, or Rebecca as she called herself then, came by with some girl she was rushing with, I forget her name, and started ta... Continue»
Posted by PureCoffee 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Billiards and the Hooker

-------- Billiards and the Hooker --------

I was sitting at the bar in a rock and roll club not far from the traffic circle just outside Fort Benning. I'd been there for a little while, sipping a beer. The band wasn't too bad, but the crowd was small, not much going on.

A skinny little guy, younger than me, long hair, worn clothes, your generic weasel type, had come in and sat down at the bar a couple chairs down. When the bartender came to serve him, he ordered a draft beer and dragged out some change from his pocket and was counting nickels and dimes. I shrugged, what the hell, and... Continue»
Posted by cptfritz 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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