Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 7

Perks of the Job


Softcore musings from an eagle eyed voyeur...

It is generally agreed that most jobs of work have some sort of perk or bonus. Let me tell you about mine. In my case it ease of the actual job and the opportunities it gives to do a lot of good old fashioned ogling and perving on lots of women throughout the day. The pay is crap but I'm into my '50's and have got myself pretty well set up anyway. The job just gets me out and about. I work with dis****d people. Don't worry, I'm not that sort of sicko! I just get them out and about to do stuff they have trouble doing on their own and they aren'... Continue»
Posted by hipants 3 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 1551  |  
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Times I almost got caught cross dressing

I might more appropriately have named this 'times I got caught'. One day, after MANY when I used to dress and walk my driveway, two of my neighbors actually caught me. One was my nextdoor neighbor. I used to be defiant of cars driving by....my driveway is 400 feet in the woods, so unless you were specifically looking up the driveway, you wouldn't have noticed me. Well, he did. He drove by, and I didn't notice that the car started driving so short a distance from me. He drove by and saw me, slammed on his brakes and backed up. I ran like hell into the woods and hid behind a tree. He yelled out,... Continue»
Posted by IAmDanCieri 3 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Shemales  |  Views: 2129  |  
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trucker 2


Had to take a business trip across the Canadian border.

The drive started out great when all of the sudden the weather took a turn
for the worse we had a white out going on .

I have been following a truck so my driving was ok but it turned my two hour
drive time I to four or more ,all of the sudden the truck in front of slammed
on his breaks I hit my breaks turned the wheel and ended up in the ditch
as I regain my composer I look up cars are sprawled all over the highway .

Putting my truck in four wheel drive and ease on the gas going now where
I try rocking it still no... Continue»
Posted by chocolatelace 3 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 1185  |  
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Male sex problems: I want, but can't

From your passion shake mountains, oceans overflowing and somewhere in the darkness of space flash of a supernova. And here you are on the bed of love, clothes long torn down, and... And not a very pleasant surprise. The young man uh... how would it be more correct to say... not quite ready to indulge in sensual pleasures. Or just use a banal sex five minutes. He does nothing ready today.

It is considered that the erection in young men - thing for granted. It is believed that any Mature individual male ages 15 to 30, as a pioneer, everywhere and always ready for a long and sophisticated se... Continue»
Posted by Danochcka 3 months ago  |  Categories: Mature, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 564  |  
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A Country Girl's Dildo

Not only country boys know how to survive even though
the song that tells of their prowess would leave that
impression. We country girls have ways of seeing to
our needs also, and can do that quite well thank you.

One of our country girl needs is to keep down the
level of sexual stress to a point where we can
function otherwise. Of course, there are lots of ways
to do that and we usually find them and that's what
this little story is about, how I found mine.

I suppose I was like most girls in discovering the
exquisite pleasures my clitty could provide. My
fingers and th... Continue»
Posted by kinghut 3 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 679  |  
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A Submissive Housewife

Part I: The beginning

This is the story of my live as a submissive
housewife. It starts near the time I was married, and
continues to the death of my husband.

My name is Judy, and my husband was named Ken. We met
when I was about 23 and he was about 31. I had had
several boyfriends and was sexually active with most
of them. Ken had been married before and had a young
son.

We met at a party at one of my friend's home. He also
had a friend at the party. I was shy, and stayed
mostly by myself. Once Ken spotted me, he came over
and started talking to me. I was embarrasse... Continue»
Posted by kinghut 3 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 862  |  
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Queen Aroma's Festive Party


Chapter 1:
The Invitation


"Oh look at that, we got an invite to Queen Aroma's annual festive party!"
My gorgeous brunette queen Hannah tells me with a grin.
She's standing in the kitchen, going through her mail as I'm knelt behind her, my head tucked away out of sight under her pink fluffy dressing gown, sniffing her delightful bare ass.

It's early in the morning, a week before Christmas, and she's still not fully awake just yet, yawning as she sips her coffee, and places her invitation carefully onto the table.

"Sounds fun."
My voice sounding slightly muffled against her... Continue»
Posted by LittleMissFart 3 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 851  |  
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The Cum gushing incident !!

My names Liam and when I was younger like most people I went to university to further my education.
It was there I met the first love of my life Bea, she was a hot little brunette, with a big smile and an even bigger pair of breasts that she kept hidden away under her school jumper.
We met in one of my classes and hit it off straight away, but she was from a fairly religious f****y and not matter how many times we fooled around we never, never went all the way.
But that didn't stop all the fun, in fact Bea loved tugging my cock, she said she loved the feel of the veins and ridges along my s... Continue»
Posted by bighornycock123 3 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 900  |  
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LittleMissLipService offers Doug an Apology

Hi all....I have been so bad about posting stories here,
I actually enjoy writing when I have the time and have many, many great true stories that I want to share with all of you naughty perverts ;)

So watch this space for several new stories shortly.....
This is an entry that I wanted to share with you about something that happened earlier this evening when I offered to take a fellow Xhamster writer's fantasy and flesh it out into a story...... They had no interest in doing it and I and several other readers thought it started out very sexily and then just died off - we wanted our Happ... Continue»
Posted by LittleMissLipService 3 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  Views: 696  |  
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the one time i get to be with a "10"...

everything you're about to read is true. names have been changed to protect the wicked, but this is a true, alcohol-fogged account of what really happened. believe as much or as little as you wish, but if you ever meet me i'll tell it exactly the same way because it really happened like this.
somewhere around my 30th birthday i moved to milwaukee, wisconsin. prior to that i had lived nearly my entire life about 100 miles south, in chicago. the 3 years i spent in milwaukee were filled with adventures of all kinds, and some of them involved me meeting and fucking a lot of women. some of them we... Continue»
Posted by myssterymann 3 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 3389  |  
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on my knees


I have been hitting the gym pretty hard for the last four weeks.

Today I came home I can feel a difference and I feel good my other half beat me home
I see he has taken a bath and started me some coffee in need of a good cup of no.

As I am sitting catching up on my reading sipping my coffee I am anxious can't stop
looking over at the hubby and biting my lip .

Soon I am getting up walk over to him grab a pillow drop it to the floor and kneel before him
asking him if he is really interested in what he is watching as I am caressing his cock
through his bottoms he looks down at... Continue»
Posted by chocolatelace 3 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 1634  |  
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Episode 42 - Girl loses the Horse Cock

Introduction
By now, if you’ve been following this mini-series you should have read:
'Girl with the Horse Cock' Parts 1 and 2, uploaded by Drew Robbins from Indiana (see link in My Favourites),
My story, called 'Episode 40 – Girl with the Horse Cock',
and finally the slightly unusual 'Girl with the Horse Cock Part 3' (see My Favourites again).

If you haven’t the time here is a very brief synopsis:
We first met Amy – the girl with the Horse-cock in Part 1 – it was the result of a dreadful accident, swallowing a drop of pure Horse DNA on a school trip to the experimental horse br... Continue»
Posted by dasx2 3 months ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 5934  |  
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Roleplay that was risky

THIS STORY IS PURE FICTION ENJOY

I have been married to my wife Trish for 10 years and we have always enjoyed our sex, when we first got married we had sex every day,

You see Trish has always been a bit of a tease and loves to show off her perfect body and always wore low tops or made sure she had buttons undone when wearing a blouse,
She use to get turned on so quick if she thought a man was lusting after her,

She also had great legs and loved wearing high heels to show them off,
I always said that’s why I married her because she was so sexy and was also a great fuck,

In the ear... Continue»
Posted by bobbyblue53 4 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 986  |  
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Guys 40/50 10 Ways to Have Fun With A Granny

Introduction to the Joys of Meeting Grannies
About four years ago I got divorced at 49. I dated a bunch of women in their late forties and all I heard about was there ex’s or their screwed up k**s. Then one day I was in an upscale bar in Tucson and noticed a group of about twenty-five well dressed and obviously wealthy older men and women talking and having a great time. I went over and discovered they all belonged to a singles-over-sixties group and I was shocked!!! These women looked great and I would fuck any one of them.
This began my five year adventure with my “grannies”, I have dated ... Continue»
Posted by captjim51 4 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 6174  |  
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Sex and Health

Sex is good for your health, then the obvious next question would be, how should you arrange your sex life so as to maximize the health benefits? Is a series of one-night stands as salubrious as a long-term coupling? Could a few bouts of masturbation be as nourishing and wholesome as a single night of conventional intercourse?

Not that masturbation is so bad. A 1988 study found that genital self-stimulation increases pain thresholds and produces an analgesic effect in women, and a 2003 study linked masturbation to a reduction in prostate-cancer risk, which the researchers attributed to ej... Continue»
Posted by crist3l 4 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 2016  |  
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A young mans obsession with me

THIS STORY IS FICTION ONLY

A young mans obsession with me

My name is sally and I have been married to my husband John for 15 years and in all that time I have never looked at another man in my years of marriage,

My husband and I have a very active sex life and he is a great lover and sex is amazing with him,

I love john very much and would do anything for him, we are a normal couple who like to experiment in the bedroom our favorite is fore play we love watching porn films while in bed,

John loves me to dress up when we go out and always say how sexy I look I do look after my... Continue»
Posted by bobbyblue53 4 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1664  |  
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Just like me, They long to be, Close to you


I’m not gay but I find women with manly features attractive. I met this girl on craigslist she was from California a bit of a tom boy, short, looked a bit like my mother but more facial hair. She had a domineering nature much like the qualities of a macho male. She was like one of the guys. I flew from Dallas to Pasadena to meet up with her.

She wanted to meet up at a local hotel, she left a bag at the reception with instructions. I was to go to room 32 put a cage on my head, a ball gag in my mouth and wear a stud dog collar, blind fold, handcuffs and so on. I got changed in the room. I ... Continue»
Posted by JJmta 4 months ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor  |  Views: 123  |  
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The Billiards Room

The billiards room of The Water Poet is, using the British system, on the first floor of the building. There are only two doors in the room and one of those is a janitorial closet; the only entrance in or out is the one through which I push you after we've ascended the old wooden staircase, my hand in the small of your back guiding you the entire time.

It is an old room, one of the few not to have had a significant makeover when the pub was refurbished a few years past. The wallpaper has been updated, a not altogether unsuccessful attempt to eradicate a century of cigarette smoke ingraine... Continue»
Posted by tristramrandy 4 months ago  |  Categories: Anal, BDSM, Sex Humor  |  Views: 262  |  
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Holiday Spa

We didn't always go out looking for sexual partners sometimes it just happened on one occasion we were on holiday in New Zealand staying in a hotel in Rotarua. We had been out sightseeing and got caught in a downpour getting soaked to the skin, it had also been cold. Returning to the hotel we decided that a spa would be just the thing to warm us up, so we went to our suite got changed into the complimentary robes and headed to the spa/sauna room on the top floor. Of course we had to wear swimmers as it was a public area, Anne wearing a brief bikini and myself a pair of speedos, we were hoping ... Continue»
Posted by petercee 4 months ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1751  |  
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My Haitian nurse care taker after my accident

I had a cast on one leg and one arm, the other arm in a sling. I had a rack tied to my back and I laid in bed for almost two months. An off road dune buddy accident nearly killed me.
My f****y could not care for me and I did not want my mom doing it any way. So we found a part time worker at the Hospital to come into our home. She lived in my room the entire time taking care of me. The degrading shit on a bed pan and have her wash my ass. the pee in a urinal and have her hold it, shake it after. She gave me a bath every morning after the f****y left. For a sixteen year old teen, it was not h... Continue»
Posted by hardnutjr 4 months ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 2512  |  
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