Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 7

The Hooker's Tale

The Hooker's Tale
Recounted during her holy pilgrimage with her sinful s****rn and their devoted slaves, along the Street of Shame, to the sacred shrine of the Dress Shop and the Champagne Bar.
(with apologies to Geoffrey Chaucer)

What is it about all the dirty fuckers who pick up hookers like me in the street.
There is certainly none of this shite about virginity and fidelity. Except for a deluded
few, they all want dirty girls. They want high-risk sex with dirty sluts who will give
them a dose as like as not. They want to stick their dirty dicks in a filthy hole that
still... Continue»
Posted by Pelops1 2 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 362  |  
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Tentacle impregnation

I had just finished a session up at the gym and began walking back to my car. It was dark out and the large car park was empty, nobody could see me. I was wearing just a tight grey leotard.

My big bulging cock showing clearly up my stomach, small wet patch from a little pre cum, my tits free, no bra, nipples erect from the cold, wobbling as I walked, along with my ass and thighs.

As I got to my car I got in and got myself comfortable, suddenly I was locked in my own car, from under my seat crawled fleshy huge tentacles in the shape of huge cocks, all dripping pre cum. They tied me to m... Continue»
Posted by drew1207 2 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  Views: 2541  |  
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SAO

This is chapter 16.5 from SAO


Asuna plopped down naked on the sofa and glared defiantly at me.
"...Kirito, hurry up and take your clothes off," she said in an authoritative tone.
"What...w-we're continuing?"
"It would be stupid if we stopped here!!"
I hurriedly complied. Opening the window indicated by Asuna, I toggled off the option buried deep within the menu.
Because of the hurried start, there was no romantic mood to speak of. Sitting on the bed which was slightly too small for the two of us, we slowly did as much as the system would allow.
The dim blue moonlight filtered throug... Continue»
Posted by drew1207 2 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 537  |  
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Caught by twin sis

(i did not write this)

I guess I didn't hear the door open. I was too busy. Too busy jerking off to a porn movie on pay per view. The next thing I did hear was my twin s****r, Lacy gasping.

"My god, Larry. What in the world are you doing?"

Her timing was lousy. Or maybe it wasn't. Depends on how you look at the situation. I had reached the point of no return. My cock had begun spouting a gigantic load of cum. I couldn't have stopped if I'd wanted to. The first load hit me square between the eyes.

Most of my second load hit my open mouth and was halfway down my throat before I reali... Continue»
Posted by drew1207 2 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 26770  |  
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Charlotte and her friends little sister

I did not write this story

After a night out I stayed over at my friends sl**ping in the spare room. In the morning my friend had work and left without waking me but she told me the night before she had work and I could stay until she got home again.

Waking up in the morning I felt groggy and tired but one thing I did notice was I woke up with morning glory, I was rock solid and made a huge tent of the quilt. I needed to sort this out. I slid my hand down into my panties where it was stretching them and slid them off allowing my cock to grow to it's full size, I was so horny and instant... Continue»
Posted by drew1207 2 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  Views: 2909  |  
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Flashy Toy pickup

Six years ago, my wife purchased a train set off the internet from a woman in San Antonio, Tx. I worked in the area where the woman lived so she asked me to stop by and pick up the trains.

A couple of days later I was working in the area, I work for a fortune 500 company. I called the woman and informed her that I'm minutes away. She had a very soft sexy voice which got me day dreaming of what she looked like. It was around 1pm as I drove through this nice neighborhood. I found the womans home and parked in her driveway. I also noticed the neighbor across the street was sitting in a lawn ch... Continue»
Posted by hearbare 2 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 875  |  
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Taboo spell

Wanda the Witch. That was what they called her at Bradford High School. Not because she was ugly or anything like that. In fact, quite the opposite was true as she was one of the prettiest girls in school. She couldn't remember exactly when she got the nickname. It just began when one of the girls at school joked that she must be a witch as every time anybody got on her bad side, weird things would begin to happen to them.

And, unfortunately today was one of those days for Daphne Cones. Daphne was Wanda's boyfriend, Norris's mother. Wanda and Norris had been planning on spending the weekend... Continue»
Posted by drew1207 2 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 1851  |  
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Surprise

I did not write this, if you did and want me to take it down just say so.

His Surprise

The k**s were off to grandma's so they had the night to themselves. It had been a while since they had any real privacy, and at first they seemed lost in the silence that fell like a blanket over their otherwise frantic domain. Matt uncorked a bottle of good wine and suggested that they play a game of backgammon on the back patio and enjoy the sunset and each other.

While they played, their three dogs romped about the spacious acre of green grass that was their backyard. Beau, the black lab, was Mat... Continue»
Posted by drew1207 2 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 410  |  
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TV Cuckolds

A lazy, inattentive manc***d marries a hot, nagging wife. It's a television trope, a device that allows for lots of storyline hijinks. The characters' sex lives are barely implied or even nonexistant on screen, but what if

10. Temperance Brennan, BONES

Bones is no one's doting, submissive wife. She is unemotional & unattached; early in the series we learn that she enjoys casual NSA sex. A frequent diatribe from her is that the anthropological need for monogamy is outmoded. Bones would take a lover & coldly admonish you for if you were upset by it. Temperance is also one of the more like... Continue»
Posted by poobah 2 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 483  |  
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Mom Pays Up (part 1)

(This is my first attempt at a story and my writing is pretty bad so please be kind.)
(Please comment with any ideas on how to improve, thank you)


(My name is Trevor but everyone that knows me just calls me T,
Mostly because they can't be bothered to say my whole name.
I am 21 and I live with my mom and my dad, and i don't have a job
But I have made a large amount of money from gambling and never had
a problem until recently....)



"Bye mom" I shouted as I closed the door behind me.
As I got in my car and started out of our driveway I couldn't
help but feel like I do the sam... Continue»
Posted by Milfsarehot 2 months ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 3538  |  
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Doggy-sitting

I did not write this story, I just love it and wanted to share, if this is your story and would like me to remove it just say so and I apologize in advance.

Doggy Sitting Adventure
by Dan Glingcock (dan.gling@email.com)

***

A couple doggy-sits a friend's dog for a few weeks and
find out how pleasurable it can be. (MF/b**st)

***

My wife and I have been married for 10 years. When I
grew up, my f****y always had cats and dogs so I was
very used a****ls. She, on the other hand, never had
pets, so she wasn't very comfortable around them. So we
never had a dog or a cat in t... Continue»
Posted by drew1207 2 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 7864  |  
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My day with slut Rebecca

I wrote this for another member that wanted a great story to go with a picture. I hope you enjoy! :)


http://xhamster.com/photos/view/2596468-42756020.html


I walk in the room and I see Rebecca is standing her naked. I instantly start to get hard. I walk up to her. She aays uhh what are you doing? I say I'm about to fuck you whether you want it or not. I throw everything on the table on to the ground. I pick Rebecca up and put her on the table. She was begging me not to do it. She says please I have boyfriend. I say bitch I don't care if you have a boy friend or not. I take my shir... Continue»
Posted by drew1207 2 months ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 1362  |  
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The seductive lover

How I would love you to sit me on a chair and tie my hands behind my back as you gracefully strip for me your perfect figure, luscious hair, beautiful tits and elegant pussy come into my view! There's is one thing I can promise you, you won't need to give me a blowjob to get my cock hard it will be throbbing! Pulsating and extending to lengths and girths I've never had before!!

As your tongue slides up my cock it will throb with pleasure! How I would love to you tease my tip kissing my head as you feel my cock turning into an iron rod it's so hard!

You stretch your mouth open and sta... Continue»
Posted by thefarmer3 2 months ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 441  |  
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texting, sexting then sex...

Monday evening my hubby rang me asking if I could prepare dinner for three as he has a trainee agent who was coming with him from work and he would be staying with us for two weeks. His name was Kevin, he’d be going to work each morning and coming back to our house for the next twelve days.

That night they came and we got to know Kevin more over dinner, he was medium built guy, looked in his late 20’s and had ginger curly hair. After we ate I fixed him up in the guest room and showed him where the bathroom was because he was dying for a shower. Next few days went similar, showing him aroun... Continue»
Posted by obi_malluda 2 months ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 11686  |  
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Sister with a helping hand.

s****r with a helping hand.



It was just a week before my 17th birthday when I went out rollerblading with my cousins. To cut it short I went underneath a car and I broke my collar bone. I was pretty devastated I didn't want to be that one k** in class that looked like a fool. Especially the reason. Lucky enough my parents were cool to let me stay home from school for a week to 'rest' up.
It was a Friday morning when I woke up I knew nobody was home. My parents were at work and my s****r was heading out for school herself. Although she was in college she left roughly around the same ... Continue»
Posted by mrlolgg 2 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo, Voyeur  |  Views: 18245  |  
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The Saoirse Ronan Chronicles [PART 4]

[CONTINUED FROM THE THIRD INSTALMENT...]

LOCATION: The Dance floor

________________________________________

CHAPTER 3: Grinding On The Dance Floor



Left, right, up, down and side to side. We swayed and manoeuvred our way through the club floor. It was getting late, we were making our way down to an interesting place. I suppose moving my body on the dance floor would be a great way to ease my anxiety about being recognised. Still, I didn't want Megan blabbering her mo... Continue»
Posted by thejediman 2 months ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 804  |  
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Eat My Heart Out

I sat down on the couch with a big bowl of popcorn in my hands. The hot bowl felt nice against the bare skin of my belly, since I was only wearing the usual sports bra and boyshorts.

Dylan, my fiance, Sat a few feet down, his legs propped up on the coffee table as he browsed the TV channels with the remote.

He turned to me and spoke. "There's nothing good on. Wanna watch one of our DVDs?"

"Sure," I said through a mouthful of popcorn.

He got up, straightened his boxers and t-shirt and walked over to the shelf full of movies.

"Ghostbusters... or... Forrest Gump... or..."

"How a... Continue»
Posted by bi-lover88 2 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1263  |  
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Soft 3some With A Friend And His Wife


have been a big fan of all the stories here and read them quite regularly. This real story is about 4-5 years old when I had a soft 3some with my friend & his wife. This story is completely real as well as all the characters described here in. You can send your comments on the email address below.

I am Rohan Sippy from Ahmedabad, married and 32 years old now. Am 5’9″ with an athletic build (32″ waist). The other 2 people in this story are Raja, same as my age, a little taller and a little chubbier; his wife Nisha, similar age
... Continue»
Posted by bava12 2 months ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 2030  |  
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Jessica's wild naked night

Ok so im new to this whole story thing so send me feedback thanx.

Ok so it was dec. 16 2011. I had just moved in to my new house so it was empty besides my bed in my room nd a table n the kitchen nd sum chairs.

So as it being my new house i decided to have a little kickback (mini party). It was me and my girlfriend Jessica and my three good friends Tom, Pat, and Jas. So all five of us were in the kitchen playing kings cup. We wer on our 3rd game and Jessica was pretty wasted by then and couldnt hang with us so she decided to go up stairs and take a shower and laydown.

So mean wyle my... Continue»
Posted by jp_marie 2 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 2844  |  
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Call guys best service

I got an email from a woman asking for sex service. She described as a widow of 34 years age and upon calling her at the number mentioned, she confirmed her email and a meeting were fixed. The address was of Jubilee Hills a very push locality in Hyderabad and I was aware of the kind of women who live there so I was pretty excited. On the day I dressed casually and packing my pocket with 2 packets of condoms I set out for the house. It was fairly simple to find the house. It was a big bungalow with a number of cars parked in the gallery.

The gate keeper telephoned inside and let me inside
... Continue»
Posted by bava12 2 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1193  |  
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