Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 7

Ass-bang

Bumfelt kissed her. Their lips met. Slow and then eager. Bumfelt pulled her close. Put one hand around her slender waist and slid the other across her skirt, down her stocking leg.
“We shouldn’t……we can’t….,” she gasped, pulling her head away from Bumfelt’s. “It’s not appropriate and-“
“No. You’re right,” said Bumfelt, stepping back, running a hand across his two day stubble, glancing away. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m sorry, Roxy. I should-“
“I want to.”
“What?”
“I want to,” repeated Roxanne softly. “I want to feel a man one last time. I need that. I need you, Eddie... Continue»
Posted by sirprecum 2 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 448  |  
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The army secretary. Russian grotesque novel.

The gloomy Russian winter day. The city of Tambov. In street was -20 ° C and the huge snowdrifts. In the streets Russians in felt boots ran wrapped in their thick fur coats. The monument to Lenin in the central square was half-covered with snow. Fifteen minutes ago by a huge icicle that fell from the local KGB building was killed a passerby. The place where fell the deadly icicle already was cordoned off by Cossacks and militia, the Russian police.
The room with the dirty shabby walls in one of the barracks of the army unit at city of Tambov. In air was tobacco smoke of cheap cigarettes. On t... Continue»
Posted by Natasha98 2 months ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1329  |  
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Fucked 2 - The Great Rock N Roll Orge

Fucked 2 - The Great Rock N Roll Orgy [part 2 of 2]
By: Jo Jo (joanne.erotic@gmail.com)

Fucked 2 - The Greatest Rock N Roll ORGY of all Time

Well... bestest one I have ever been to anyway.

This follows on from Fucked, and concerns the party that followed the
dissolution of that band.

It was held in a very impressive apartment overlooking the canal system
in the centre of Birmingham. It was above some sort of gym/spa and took
up the entire floor.

The band, as I mentioned before , was Mike , Paul, Niecey , Julie, Ray
and of course Derek.

Also at the bash, 4 or 5 te... Continue»
Posted by joanne1976 2 months ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 270  |  
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Secretary

Seymour Shaft, disgraced cop turned private detective was trying to open his emails. He was not having much success. He kept hitting the wrong keys and now he had locked himself out with his password protection.
This was all happening because he was finding it hard to concentrate. It’s not easy to work a computer if you are getting blown at the same time.
Seymour’s secretary was one hot bitch and she was also one dirty bitch. One thing she really loved doing was sucking dick. That and sitting on faces. She was having a fun time at that moment, squatting between the detective’s legs, pe... Continue»
Posted by sirprecum 2 months ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1772  |  
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The learning curve

The learning curve
This story is based on an e mail I received from a “friend” who swore it was a true episode, her husband of two years, she reported as being; a “ half empty oil can and a brick short of a full load as well!”
As a blush saving exercise we will refer to him as Nigel and her as Tina, they live in a modern brick semi detached suburban estate, known locally as filofax ally, full of bottom rung wanabee stockbrokers.
He, Nigel came from well bred stock with money, and had been sent to the city to learn a trade, probably to get him away from home, not bright enough to dri... Continue»
Posted by alibodge 2 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 602  |  
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THE PHOTO SHOOT WITH A MARRIED WOMAN

MARRIED WOMAN AND THE PHOTO SHOOT

My name is Jane and I have been married to my husband John for over 20 years,
And life is so good,
My husband and I have a great relationship and the sex is always so good we have over many years found different ways to spice up our sex life,

I currently work park time in a hotel as a receptionist but many years ago I was a model for a major catalog company and have always maintained my figure and looks,
My husband always says that I still look good as I did 20 years ago when we got married,

I think the years have been kind to me and I always make ... Continue»
Posted by bobbyblue53 2 months ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 2814  |  
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Roxanne

“You still with the rug-muncher,” he said, putting his empty beer bottle down.
“If you mean Kirstie,” she replied. “Then yes.”
“Well, like I said Rox,” said Bumfelt. “It's been a long day. And as hot as you are, I'm not here for an angry I'm fucked off with my lesbian partner and what some dick fuck.”
“You think that's what this is?” replied Ballsakey. “Fuck you, Eddie.”
“Fuck me?”
“Yes. Fuck. You,” said Ballsakey. “You don't have to be a complete asshole.”
“I don't?” shrugged Bumfelt.
“No. You don't,” snapped Ballsakey, getting up from the chair, moving across the dining... Continue»
Posted by sirprecum 2 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 607  |  
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The Gamer

I laid across the bed on my stomach holding myself up by my elbows wearing just a T-shirt and my boxers looking up at the computer screen with the controller in my hands as my Guild and I marched boldly into the Forsaken Fortress to finally take down the Necromancer King. “This is it you guys” I said over the team channel knowing that this was going to be a long and tough fight, “I need a Defense boost” Shadow_Heart said over the comm. It didn’t take long for Elfkiller1 to start boosting everyone’s STATS, “first one to die has to put 500 gold into the guild bank” The-Bone-Eater said with a gig... Continue»
Posted by Rust1 2 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  Views: 644  |  
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THE PHOTO SHOOT WITH A MARRIED WOMAN

MARRIED WOMAN AND THE PHOTO SHOOT

My name is Jane and I have been married to my husband John for over 20 years,
We have two young boys and life is so good,
My husband and I have a great relationship and the sex is always so good we have over many years found different ways to spice up our sex life,

I currently work park time in a hotel as a receptionist but many years ago I was a model for a major catalog company and have always maintained my figure and looks,
My husband always says that I still look good as I did 20 years ago when we got married,

I think the years have been kind t... Continue»
Posted by bobbyblue53 2 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1646  |  
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Bonkabitch

Goodhead led Bonkabitch to the edge of the roof.
“I’m glad you fixed my shower earlier today Marko,” she said quietly. “I have something special for you. Something special for me.”
“Yes ma’am,” said Bonkabitch, sipping from a glass of champagne. Not the kind of stuff he normally drank. He was a beer and shots man himself. He felt a little dizzy. The champagne must have gone to his head. Must have been a little stronger than he thought.
“You look really pretty,” whispered Goodhead, taking the glass from Bonkabitch, kissing him on his lipstick painted lips. “You look really sexy, you ... Continue»
Posted by sirprecum 2 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 217

Swallows

Doctor Judy Swallows was one of the NYPD's best and longest serving psychiatrists. She was an accomplished doctor and she was hot. Off the scale hot.
“Do me,” she moaned as Bumfelt bent her over her desk, his balls slapping against her sexy firm ass as he went balls deep on her. “That's it Detective, fuck me. Fuck the Doctor's tight pussy.”
Bumfelt did.
They changed positions. Swallows was a stunning looking woman. Blonde curly hair framing a beautiful face, full lips, sexy as hell blue eyes behind glasses. Long lithe body. 36C breasts now spilling out from an open blouse and pulled... Continue»
Posted by sirprecum 2 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 464  |  
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Shakedown

"Strip," I said.
"What?" she replied angrily. "You think I'm carrying or I'm wired? You don't fuckin' trust me?"
"I don't fuckin' trust anybody," I replied, motioning with my forty-five. "That's why I'm still alive. It pays not to trust anybody in this line of business. Especially the broads."
"Fuck you, Micky," she hissed, anger flaring in her eyes.
"Strip," I said.
She did. Slowly and sensuously she unbuttoned her jacket. She placed it on the back of the chair. She turned and stood before me and she was quite simply stunning. She wore a white blouse. The material sheer a... Continue»
Posted by sirprecum 2 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 404  |  
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Red Light District Experience: Antwerp, Belgium

The Porn Chronicles continues following the adventures of Tyler Thomas and his sexcapades. There will be a video to come along this story, but the footage I got wasn't great so I wanted to write about it.

My travels had brought me to Antwerp, Belgium where I had found out has legal prostitution as well as a recommended Red Light District. The nice thing about it is that it's not as touristy and not near the main train station of the city, so you don't have the rowdiness that a place like Amsterdam offers. I was on a mission to find a hooker that would let me film our encounter.

... Continue»
Posted by thechronicles 2 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 309  |  
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POF

Last weekend I met up with a girl I had met on the date site POF. So we went to see Think like a man too and it was funny so we had plenty to talk about at the bar afterwards while we were still getting to know each other. A few drinks in and she let's her hair down and starts leaning over the table showing some major cleavage and I start plotting my next move of course. I drove 45mins to meet her and she said earlier her house had people there including her daughter and b*****r so I'm just like damn what to do. We had both been drinking and the conversation had a lot of innuendo and pretty s... Continue»
Posted by roc-boy 2 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 1462  |  
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First College Fuck

Oh college. The North American university experience is good for being irresponsible yet successful and for fucking, plain and simple. First thing I learned in college was: 'Damn, getting pussy is going to be easy as fuck'. Let's be real. It's true. My first college party resulted in my first college hook-up. It was amateurish, I had literally no clue where I was on campus. It was easy, I only had to find out that it was her birthday - although I'm still not sure if it really was or not. But it was fun, like all sexual relations should be, just not in a bunk bed, lol.

[image]http://... Continue»
Posted by pjny21 2 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1103  |  
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Timestop Day 1

This story is about a guy who finds he has the ability to stop time. If you don't like the concept, don't read it.A few things before it starts. There is next to nothing sexual in Day 1. Day 1 is just an introduction to the character and situation, things that are necessary to make the story work. Day 2 is where the fun stuff comes in.

P.S. I did not write this story, it's just a story I read and think should be shared with all you xHam people. Enjoy! Originally posted I am sure by [user]http://xhamster.com/user/themessenger[/user]

Day 1 - Wednesday

Warren woke up to his alarm going ... Continue»
Posted by PussyViking 2 months ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 887  |  
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Payback

12.00am - I was in the bathroom and I placed the weapons in the holdall of our backpacks. "We have got to get this right!" commanded one girlfriend. Another one of my girlfriends sat in the reclining chair, pondering. "Having second thoughts?" "Me? no way" said another one of my girlfriends. "Its pay back". I stepped out of the bathroom and ushered the girls to the door. There were four of us.

12.30am - It was night and the air was cool. We pulled up outside John Rosh Avenue, near the Olympic Park, in London,. Very quietly, we approached No 41, pulled on our stockings over our head... Continue»
Posted by rockyharte 2 months ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 623  |  
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SEX IN THE HOT TUB

SEX IN THE HOT TUB

I have been married to my gorgeous wife for 10 years and our sex life is just perfect we are both in our mid thirties,
We enjoy lots of sex and I must admit my wife sometime wears me out with her constant demands to try new things,

We have no c***dren as we both have jobs that keep us very busy,
I work as investment banker and my wife works as a private sectary for a firm of solicitors,

Let me describe my wife Jen she 36 about 5’9’’ with long dark hair very sexy long legs and a very large 38DD bust,
She love to wear stocking with heels she says it makes her leg... Continue»
Posted by bobbyblue53 2 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 2449  |  
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Wrestling with my Sister

This happened about three months after we started our relationship.

I was lying on my bed watching the movie No Holds Bar with my t****e year old s****r. I wanted to watch the movie on our living room tv, but it had been broken since last Thursday. It was another hot Florida night. I was in my boxer shorts and Ginger was wearing just a pair of cotton panties. She suggested we watch it in mom’s room, since she had an air conditioner and was at work until about 3:00 a.m. With Mikey at a friend’s house for the evening, we headed off to mom’s room.

"I've always wanted to wrestle someone,"... Continue»
Posted by abigfan 2 months ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 25807  |  
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The walk in park. The real story.

This has happened three weeks ago.
Sasha, a good Russian chap, 19 years old, was romantically in love with me. He is a very honest decent boy from a good but not wealthy f****y. But he is only a common student of one Perm city high schools, so he has no prospects to marry me. And besides, I already have a bridegroom appointed by my dad. My dad, as I wrote already, is a bigwig of Russian business, tycoon and a real despot with his subservient persons. Often he behaves despotically with me too, and sometimes even beats me. Nevertheless, good chap Sasha always presented me bouquets, accompanied... Continue»
Posted by Natasha98 2 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 675  |  
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