Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 69

the traffic jam wank

Hello everyone again. Diary time again. This goes back to when we were just married and is from one of her last diaries, its one of the few stories that I was in! M came off the pill 15 years ago and since then, apart from a couple of deliberate occasions, I can’t cum inside her so we find alternative ways of bringing each other off. We both enjoy playing so the tenderness of being close together telling sexy stories ticks so many boxes. A number of yeas ago we had gone north to see my parents and were driving back home to London down the motorway. We had set off early in the morning to get b... Continue»
Posted by roman64 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 579  |  
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Hot Summer Camp - Part 3

Hot Summer Camp Part 3

After hot day at summer camp I headed to the showers to clean up. While soaping up I looked around and with no one around I started to stroke my cock. As I started to get hard I grabbed my balls. I felt something on the underside and stopped jacking off then lifted my balls and notice a black insect on my balls. I pinched and pulled but the black spec but it would not come off. I did not know what to do I had a tick stuck to my balls. I decided I needed to get dressed and go to the nurses office.

As I walked over to the nurses cabin I was very nervous and did not k... Continue»
Posted by sledz 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 1207  |  
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Strip the night away PART 1

Men go to strip clubs to see tits and ass. Nothing else. Yeah occasionally a beer wont hurt. But Melvin Thomas goes for the happy hour whereby he gets nachos and a bowl of pretzels at no charge to go along with his 7up. Melvin married early when he was 18, right after highschool. Now at 38 years, his marriage had become as interesting as a senior citzen golf tournament. Thats why he went regularily to strip clubs to see two things he never saw back home; beautiful women and food. Today he enter the club wih pair of jean shorts that had month old mustard stains on them and an old blue faded po... Continue»
Posted by burrito_boy 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 687  |  
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the funniest conversation during sex ever

ok backround i was in a car with this guy in high school. his name was ryan. we were 17 he was like 5'4" or somthing (he was short) cute like irish/itailian boy.
red hair freckles goofy smile thick cock. any way he just came after like 2 minutes and we were talking. he was still in me lying on top of me.

him: "fuck.... im so sorry but you cant blame me the blowjob eirlier got me really... ready."

me: "yeah i guess but really like two minutes." i said sadly

him: "im sorry can we do this again sometime though"

me: "well you still have the condom on, and ur still hard and in me. can'... Continue»
Posted by Michele1234 2 years ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 839  |  
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One Night in April

The school year was winding down and one day I had planned to spend the night watching TV when my Friend Brad phoned.

You see the whole year he had been persuing her and all the while she would shoot him down. Then out of the blue she agrees.

"That great Brad, but why call me?" I asked.

"My Folks are away on their second honeymoon and I was tasked with watching April tonight."

I could already tell where Brad was heading.

"No!" I said very sternly.

"Come on dude, it'll only be for a few hours." he said with what was almost assuredly a smile on his face.

"April hates ... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 1844  |  
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Where I've Been...


Hey guys and gals,

sorry it's been a while since I was last on, you won't believe
what's happened to me!

To cut a long story short, my s****r found out about me on here and saw my story of what she did to me when we was younger, needless to say,
she was very pissed off with me.

She confronted me about it and as I apologised to her she told me to get down on my knees and kiss her feet for forgiveness. Naturally, I did as I was told and when I got down on my knees, she kicked the shoe off her foot and lifted her foot up so her sole was right infront of my face. Now, she had been wo... Continue»
Posted by LittleMissFart 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 1253  |  
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Platonic Hazard: ch 2



After my conversation with Haze three days ago, I now found myself standing in front of the very bar I had destroyed in two minutes flat. There was a clean up crew, but Haze had assured me the owner was expecting me. I peered down at the little paper with the name on it and squinted up at the sign, wondering if I could lie and say I had gone to the wrong place but by the time I had found it they were closed. I wrinkled my nose, hearing Haze in the back of my head. "Yea right Alina...take your Hybrid ass right back to the bar". With a scowl on my face, I sighed, and debated on using the fr... Continue»
Posted by Androidbarbie2068 2 years ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 147

wow omegle delirium....... whatever fits everyone



Επιλογή γλώσσας ▼
18,703 strangers online
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
How many penises does your ideal mate own?

You: ????
Stranger: um...
You: i cant really get that
You: i ll say 20
Stranger: too little
Stranger: 50
You: i am raising my bid to 70
Stranger: 90
You: 100
Stranger: 150
You: oh i cant beat that u win
You: 150 1
You: 150 2
You: 150 3
You: the ideal mate goes to stranger 2
Stranger: yaay
Stranger: *feels proud*
Stranger: in your face sucker I won
You: fuck
You: i lost
Stranger: now what wil... Continue»
Posted by virgin20yearold 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 269  |  
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The Love of Spikes

I did't always wear high heeled stiletto shoes, but once I started wearing them, I craved more and more extreme heels, I think I must have an addictive personality,
I found a market stall in Devizes, that had a selection of what could only be called lap dancers shoes.
I know the risks, breaking my ankle, a bad back! Yes doctor but with my boobs a back ache is common place, I once gave a friend of mine a challenge, to wear one of my bras with two melons inside it for a day, so the skinny minny could experience what its like to walk around all day, with the extra weight.
I have found the stil... Continue»
Posted by DiamondLife 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 448  |  
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Platonic Hazard

The resounding crash as feet hit water. Ragged breathing. Hearts pumping a mile a minute. I could still hear them behind me. They were shadows in the night, but still tired just as easily. I ran through another puddle, giving them insight as to how far ahead I was...but also how far behind me they were. Minutes after I had ran through the water, I heard the same puddle being disrupted and allowed myself a little grin. Ahead of me an alley way opened into a dead end. I didn't realize this until I had reached the end of it. Staring around myself for any sign of escape I turned when a harsh chuck... Continue»
Posted by Androidbarbie2068 2 years ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 375  |  
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Chased by Girls - going back opition

"I'm coming!" you shout.

You know perfectly well you'll probably just end up getting caught but there's no way you're leaving Melissa behind. Once you get to her, you help her up and then, supporting her with your shoulder, get ready to start running again when suddenly Doe, alone, comes crashing through the forest at the top of the rise.

"Now I've got y-OH SHIT!"

She stumbles off the top and lands hard on the ground, clutching her ankle. Ironically she seems to have befallen the same injury as Melissa.

"God dammit, that hurt," she curses, unable to stand up. Then she looks up ... Continue»
Posted by camdogg 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 360  |  
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Chased by Girls - Running away opition

It isn't easy but you can't bring yourself to go back for her. You know if you do then you're both screwed. Still, you can't bear to just completely abandon her so you duck behind a large fallen log and wait.

Just as you thought, in seconds Trina and her three team mates come bursting into the clearing where they spot Melissa, helplessly lying on the ground.

"Well, well, well," Trina muses, "look what we have here." The other girls surround her and Trina turns to face the woods, "Come out, Cam, I know you're nearby!"

"Let's just go look for him, forget about this whore," interjects ... Continue»
Posted by camdogg 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 220  |  
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The Flight

My life was not what one would call Adventurous. I had a simple job in a simple little town. I was a shift supervisor in a plastics factory. Then our company got bought by a big Silicon Valley company who wanted to use our cheap sturdy plastic as casing for a new tablet PC. I suddenly found myself promoted replacing the recently dismissed COO.

That brings me to where the story begins...in a cab to the airport. The Company was flying me Business Class to California to handle last minute merger details. I was very nervous for two reasons:

1. I was way over my head

And

2. I had never... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 1945  |  
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The Sexual Awakening Part 8: The Cure for What Ail

One Week Later....

As I regained my strength in my room. Ben was there every day keeping me aprised of his research. "Dude!" he said bursting into my room. "Guess what I found!" he added. "What?" I asked lampooning his excitement. "I found THE Milo Rembaldi expert, his name is Dr. Michael Reyerson!" "And this helps us how?" I asked. "Because not only is he the Rembaldi expert he's also his great grandson. He was Born Milo Michael Rembaldi!" "We gotta talk to this guy, he has to have answers!" I said sitting up. "The only drawback is that he lives and works in Coleman...that's 40 miles away!... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 2 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 390  |  
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Coffee and Cream

The wind was blowing in through the open window in the bedroom, it was cool and crisp and I heard the birds off in the distance calling to mates to start the day. The breeze slightly brushed my shear black night shirt making my nipples erect with pleasure. I could feel the wanting building up, it was one of those mornings when pleasure overtook my mind....
I reached beside me and felt his warm body, I could feel him lightly breathing as he slept. Quietly I slipped off my panties and curled behind him feeling his tight ass. He stirred a bit and I ran my hand down his warm thighs and around to ... Continue»
Posted by sinnfullll 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 351  |  
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A tube full of custard

"I wish they wouldn't fucking do that."

"What's the problem?"

"The video..."

"Yeah... so?"

"I just hate when they do that."

"You seemed to be getting well into it."

"I was! The women were gorgeous and the guy was hot. Some of the things there were pretty wild. But I hate it when they have a really good, steamy scene going, everybody's enjoying themselves, and then they end it as soon as the guy cums."

"You lost me..."

"Were we watching the same video?"

"Well... I was watching you quite a bit too..."

"Don't get cheeky... seriously! Is that where the male mind goes?... Continue»
Posted by mustbtuesday 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 693  |  
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Nursing School

Angelina Diaz had just graduated from nursing school. It had been a long and difficult road but was the fulfillment of a dream that took root in high school. Working first as a teenager as a Candy Striper and later as an aide in a nursing home, mostly cleaning up of rooms, patients, and the dirty jobs the regular nurses were loath to touch.

She enjoyed working with people, especially the elderly. Of course, just having received her RN degree, the elderly to the young 21 year old nurse at that time included anyone over 40 years of age.

During high school, because of her dedication to th... Continue»
Posted by Deathfyre 2 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1238  |  
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The Sexual Awakening Part 6: Playing with Fire

I awoke the next morning to an empty bed. I looked around and saw a note lying on the pillow next to me. "Sorry to screw and run, but I had an early call time this morning. Hope to see you again."

I began to replay the events on the previous night in my mind. I could feel myself getting hard just thinking about her soft skin, her firm breasts and most of all that wonderful pussy. How we tumbled out of the shower and collapsed on the bed. How she took immediate control and used me as nothing more than a tool to satisfy her carnal desire. The look of pure joy on her face as she bounced up an... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 347  |  
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The Wonderfully Naughty Wizard of Oz (Ch9/P2)

Leandra took a quick look back at the knight and the gobkins, to see it any of them had moved towards her. When she knew it was safe she turned her attention back to Nikko.

"I want you to go back to the castle and find Zimo and Gotifri. Tell them to gather a small group of loyal soldiers and come to Mombi castle. I don't know how this is going to turn out and I might need their assistants. Have them stay hidden, until I signal them."

"How will you signal them, my queen."

"I will think of something. They will know it when they see it."

She heard the hoofs of the knight horse coming ... Continue»
Posted by teflonsamurai 2 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 340  |  
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The Sexual Awakening Part 5: The Bump in the Road

One Month later...

When news broke that the school's power couple broke up, you'd think someone had died. And when it was discovered that I was the one who broke Missy and Derek up I became more of a parah than I already was. Worst of all Missy lost all of her "dearest" friends too. "Who needs them when I have you." she would say. But as brave a face as she put on, I could tell she was hurting. Ben was also very cross with me, but for a very different reason. "I can't believe you're giving up the gift you've been given!" he would say. "You could be banging all types of chicks but no, you se... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 2 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 507  |  
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