Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 68
Being a ghost sucks!
There I said it. As a Ghost I have limited control of the physical world. Aside from turning lights on and off I'm pretty much useless, that being said I have discovered quite a few tricks.
"Are you there Jack?" Regan asked from her room.
"No, I'm out in the Living Room." I said.
"I'm getting dressed so don't come in!" she said.
Regan came out wearing a rather fetching blue sun dress. "Have you been up all night?" she asked.
"Yeah...why?" I asked.
"I made up the couch for you, why didn't you..."
I didn't mention this in our ... Continue»
My plan to soften the Stone wall that was Erin Hardy was entering it's second week. After five days of one-sided banter I found myself contemplating another strategy.
"I'm gonna join the Crew!" I said with a smile.
"You wanna join Erin's crew...why?" Mouse asked.
"To get close to her and win her over man."
"And how do you plan to do that my good sir." he asked.
"Phase one, I steal her truck."
"I'd like to see you try, they never leave it unguarded for long."
"Yeah that would be a problem if I didn't already do it." I said handing him my iPhone. On the screen was a sn... Continue»
Prelude: Hot sexy woman describes her sexual escape with a cucumber in the produce section.
I get up this morning and take a quick shower, then put on my favorite short denim jean skirt and a matching color tube top.
I check out myself in the mirror one last time, then say to myself, "Honey, for being a middle aged woman, you look hot!"
After I put on my dark blue high heel shoes, I am off the to store!
The first shopping cart that I choose has a front wheel that clicks, so I decide to turn around and get another one. Suddenly, one of the the guys that work in the produce section t... Continue»
A really good friend of mine, who occasionally roomed with me, had a breakup with his girl friend. After taking a majority of her personal items she asked that he return the last few items she left behind when she left. One important item she mentioned to him was a set of photo albums. While she didn’t want the entire album set, she did want to go thru them and choose the photos she wanted to take out of them. So, as his best friend I volunteered to be the arbitrator for the albums. We arranged to have her come to my place one evening and go thru the albums on a day that he was working so that... Continue»
In our place, there is one quack doctor as I can say. We locally called this "manghihilot", whenever we have some kind of sickness that medical doctors can not cure, we turn to them for cure. They usually use oil and oration and other amulets that drives sickness or bad spirits away. They usually do "hilot" or a type of curative massage that focuses on relieving bodily pains and sickness.
Our "manghihilot" is known in our area since I was a c***d, during that time he is on his 50s or something. Until now, he still performs "hilot" and at his age, which I assume at around 80s, is still ... Continue»
She was proud to be a personal housemaid like her mother had been. Her mother cleaned private estates for almost 20 years and now she was happy to take over for her mother who had decided to retire and move to Arizona for health reasons. After all those years of dusting she felt the good clean air would do her some good. Her mother only had six private cleaning clients, but they all paid very well. Strangely her mother never met some of her clients because they were gone by the time she got there to work. Taking over she could only manage to keep three or four clients. She was new in the busin... Continue»
Have you ever had a really bad day?
I mean a real shitfest!
Where things go from bad to worse in the blink of an eye?
First, I got fired.
Then I got dumped
And last but certainly not least, I died!
So to recap, Fired, Dumped, Dead...bummer!
You might be asking yourself..."Jack, how does a moderately healthy guy just this side of Thirty die" Well "self" maybe next time you'll unplug the toster before you try to pry out a Pillsbury Toaster Strudle with a butterknife...while high.
So yeah I got zapped with 50,000 volts and died alone in my underwear and a Spice World T-... Continue»
Just back for a works tip to Spain, 11 days in a place i wont name as I dont want to give the game away, but I had a great time.
Last time I was there was a lads holiday 9 years ago, this time I ended up with a house to myself because the guy who was supposed to cover the job was planning on bringing his wife and k** so the house was booked, when he dropped out I said I would do it.
Ended up in a nice house with a little pool, was not too busy around there so no neighbors to complain. Good stuff.
Like I said I was there on a lds holiday years ago and had a bit of cunt (english & scott... Continue»
Let me start of by saying everything you are about to read is 100% factual they occurred 2 years ago to me personally and it is a deeply erotic memory for me.
So here I was completely out of my mind desperately staggering through the airport in Rome. About 5 hours beforehand I'd gotten d***k and swallowed a litre of cheap corked wine (not fun) and if I didn't have friends with me I wouldn't have made it through the front door. But with them half carrying me I made it to boarding where I had an hour to sober up.
Leaving my friends I practically collapsed into a stall in the airport toil... Continue»
I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year.
There was only one little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful younger s****r.
My prospective s****r-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly
bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate because she never did it
when she was near anyone else.
One day her 'little' s****r called and asked me to come over by her house, She was alone when I arrived,
and she whispered to me that she had fee... Continue»
My husband exhales a loud sigh of disgust.
THUMP THUMP THUMP
"They're at it again," he said with sickening groan in his voice.
THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP
It was getting more rapid and rhythmic now.
"Yes, I hear it," I answer him.
"Doesn't it bother you at all?" he asked when he did not hear the proper tone of corresponding disgust in my voice.
"It's natural," I said after a momentary silence as I considered my answer. Nothing was going to satisfy him if it didn't match his own view.
THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP
Quicker. The bedposts were pounding on the opposite side... Continue»
ok this is the most weird day i had and its true. one day me and my friend planned a sl**pover at her house, we got to her bed room and she said she forgot something down stairs and she left me upstairs. im thinking "what a ass" and i hear the door across the hallway opening and their he was, her dad sexy,strong,six pack,young, and had cute brown hair,hotter then hell i blushed when he seen me and he smiled and said "oh you must be my little girls bestie" and laughed i laughed to and said yes, Oh lol so might want the part when it was night and my friend left to get food for a long time..... i... Continue»
Please bare with me this is my first story.
Back in highschool I was never the biggest player. By the end of my 4 years I only had sex with three girls, but it was great every time. This is the story of my second, because it was especially sexy.
Her name was Berg, a nickname given to her by friends. Admittedly, not the classiest or sexiest nickname, but it didn't matter. Because while she didn't have the most beautiful face, Berg had a rockin body.
She had small D-cup breasts that she usually hid behind band T-shirts or hoodies, and a nice thick ass for a white girl that, while it di... Continue»
Well to start I'm Tony my wife and I have a good thing going see she loves to find women around 28-45 that are married have k**s and never had sex with another women and not only bed them but do it in a way that she has perfected over the years in which she controls them. Kerri is one of her ladys about three years back Kerri went to a dress store and while trying on a dress my wife Kat steped into the dressingroom and after some talking, rubing, and a little f***eing had Kerri two fingers deep and panting hard Kat bought her the dress took her to her own home and licked, sucked fingered, an... Continue»
The other night my girlfriend asked me not to cum in her because she didn't want to "get all sticky." She does that sometimes, and I did what I always do. I shoot the first few pumps of cum in her pussy, then pull out and shoot the rest on her stomach, pubes, tits, or whatever. This time, I shot the rest of my cum on her ass and the small of her back, because I'd been fucking her doggy style. I like fucking her from behind when she doesn't want my cum in her because I can get a shot or two more in her than usual and she can't see to wonder why I don't cum on her as much as normal, and I alw... Continue»
I still kinda get a boner when I write about this story...
It was the month of December. I had been very excited cuz my cousin s****r was coming, along with uncle and aunt that day to spend a couple of days with us. I was young then. Maybe 12 or so...so naturally the prospect of arrival of guests at our home made me feel really excited...
Finally they arrived at about seven in the morning. Uncle, aunt aunt and her. It had been so long since I had last seen them! My cousin seemed to have grown twice the size I had last seen her.
We spent the whole day playing, watching movies and havi... Continue»
Like most towns do these days we have our share of adult entertainment establishments. One day I decided to reward myself after a hard day’s work and visit one. As usual, when I entered the place in the middle of the day, the interior is very dark and I couldn’t see shit until my eyes could adjust. I walked in feeling like a blind man; my hands reaching out in front of me feeling around making sure I wasn’t going to run into something or someone. I hoped I wasn’t going to trip over a table but I didn’t mind if my arms wrapped around one of the ladies who were dancing there. Just as long as the... Continue»
Last week I came down with a small cold I caught at a time out with some friends. I decided it was best to stay home and rest my head. Leanne called like she normally does every morning to check up on me before class. I explained that I was sick with a cold. She asked to come by after class in the afternoon and I told her she can come over anytime.
Later that day Leanne arrives. We hug and kiss as she walks inside my apartment. Leanne cooked dinner for the both of us. She asked if she can stay the night to keep an eye on me since I was ill. I told her yes and she asked to change in my clot... Continue»
"The Development of events outside a person's control, regarded as determined by a Supernatural power."
The last few months had not been going well for Sam, he lost his job and his girlfriend cheated on him with his best friend. After bouncing around from job to job he landed in a garage. A massive step down from his last job but thanks to a love of Cars given to him by his Father he was happy. He quickly found a kindred spirit in Owen, a fellow Mechanic and car buff, the two became fast friends.
On one particular evening Owen was invited to go out for a night of drinking a... Continue»
After numerous flutes of wine Kathy Lee was becoming very vocal despite Hoda's vain attempts to silence her proved to be. The only think that silenced her was when she was sucking my cock. She held it in her hands and then cast glance over at Hoda and a mischievious smile smile across her face.
"Reminds of that visit to the farm," she said. "Remember, Hoda. The stables?"
Hoda's face tightened and reddened and she gave Kathy Lee a solid punch on the arm and pushed her head downward and filled her mouth with my engorged prick. She cast a nervous glance over at me, which I responded with an... Continue»