Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 68
It was nearly midnight and Molly was bored out of her mind. Her friend Peter was here and he insisted that she took the bed. It was extremely hot out but that didn't seem to bother Peter. They chatted about school and parents for awhile until Peter changed the conversation to relation ships...
"So who's the lucky guy that gets to spend lunch with you?" asked Peter mockingly.
"Peter shut up.. you know I don't have a boyfriend.. and what about you and Sarah?" Tutted Molly with a hint of jealousy. Peter laughed and said something about breaking up with her a couple days ago but something else ... Continue»
"We gotta go out and get our Rage on!" Spence shouted smashing an empty Bud bottle.
"Yeah I don't feel up to that Spence." I said downing the last of my beer.
"Come on Zach you so need this, especially after a bad break-up. And as luck would have it I know the perfect place."
We hopped into spence's car and drove to some out of the way building in a part of town I normally wouldn't go.
"Where are we?" I asked.
"It's a little off the beaten path, but it has exactly what you need."
"What Hep C or maybe a Staph Infection?"
We walked down a set of rusting... Continue»
Leandra slide her mouth away from Kaliko cock. Stood up and began removing her clothing. Sliding her black gown over her head. She watched as Dorothy opened her mouth, sucking up and down his slim curved cock.
"Your body looks amazing my dear Leandra."
"I hate you for this Kaliko."
He laughed as his fingers slide through Dorothy hair. "You know you could stop. But the spell in the wine has heighten your deepest desires. Why can't you be like your friend Dorothy. She's enjoying herself." Dorothy opened her mouth wider and took his whole cock down. Her face buried in his white and gra... Continue»
Hello to all readers i will share my first sex experience who was in 2010 in september on 16 date with a friend of mine colegue from my higt school and banch colegue also .
wee was colegue from about 2 yers and him was next to me in all those time him make many time good joke with me and him make me lauch a loot what him it was my best best friend ever i never have in my mind i will make with him sex ever until one day him ask me after class if im agree to make until at home on foot i was agree the weather was good and i say yes why not lets wolk until home .
On the road wee was talk about ... Continue»
A woman I have been friends with for the last four years invited me over to hang out at her Apt. She had a friend over, and I had it in my head the friend without the boyfriend would be there, and I might possibly hook up with said friend. I brought a fifth of R&R and even shoved a few condoms in my pocket, just in case. When I arrived, my heart fell. Her single friend wasn't there; alas, it was the one girl that had a boyfriend. I wasn't that upset, I just thought, maybe. So, I broke out the bottle and we started drinking anyway.
As the afternoon progressed, I sat on the back porch w... Continue»
Leandra followed the snake like white trail, down the long winding tunnels. She knew Dorothy and the Oz guard had a good head start, but didn't realize it was so far. It seemed like the tunnels twisted and turned forever. It took her a good half hour before she heard Dorothy voice.
Dorothy and Omby were hiding behind a stone pillar. Leandra snuck up behind them and tapped Dorothy on the shoulder. She almost jumped out of her clothes. But as Dorothy jumped, Omby Amby instinctively grabbed ahold of Leandra throat. His grip surprised Leandra. Seeing his lanky frame would never make a person t... Continue»
This piece is a chapter extracted from my novel "Toggenburg" a lesbian love story set in the mountains of Switzerland which I've posted in case any Xhamster reader might enjoy it.
“We are going to get wet!” declared Sarah firmly. It was a fair analysis as she and Daniela stood huddled in the doorway of the Hotel Toggenburg contemplating the wretched weather before them. It was still raining heavily and the wind was blowing the sheets of rain around in a bewildering variety of directions. Umbrellas promised to be hazardous accessories ra... Continue»
Well let’s just say I’m the mountainman66 I got that nickname so long ago I don’t even remember why. I’m a big old boy somewhat built like a tank, a water tank.
And like any good story worth telling, you have to have a protagonist and an antagonist.
But with this story you get to decide who is who.
It all started with my divorce, it left me somewhat high and dry, and not really caring about the opposite sex. Now who ever come up with that line had it right on the money. Opposite sex, what a laugh. More like obstinate sex.
BUT I’M NOT BITTER!
Okay now back to... Continue»
Not being a big drinker there are not many bar stories that I can tell but I do have this one that is just so out there it’s hard to believe.
And I was there.
I’ve always been a motorcycle rider, it started out that I need transportation that was cheap starting a f****y on a retail pay limits your budget. So 10 year old Hondas or Kawasaki’s were what I could get.
Well after riding in any weather cold, wet, sleet and snow most people that I worked with or passed me on the road or were passed by thought that I was crazy or just one hard ass.
And I n... Continue»
"Do you like watching me?"
"I know I shouldn't... but I can't help it. You're so lovely."
"It's alright, really. I can tell you enjoy it by that smile on your face."
"Alright... now I'm embarrassed..."
"Please don't be. I like it when you look at me..."
"Yes... especially when you're looking like you're trying to not get caught..."
"I thought you didn't want me to be embarrassed..."
"I don't... I want you to look at me..."
"You do look very nice..."
"Are you trying to imagine me naked?"
"You're hard, aren't ... Continue»
So as im sitting in my boss's house after a long day at work i sit down at a distant table away from him and his partner and do my regular internet routine, as in check e mails and look on facebook, but then one day i "stumble" upon this site or xtube and watch some videos.
As i watch the videos i get hard and start to jerk off. As my boss and his partner are watching tv i hit the poppers and rub my rock hard cock always getting so close to coming and then hold it as they get up and walk around the house.
His daughter (blonde gorgeous little 19 yr old college nerdy type, Great body a... Continue»
So here I am again telling you another True Story of myself. I was talking to a friend of mine and of course the subject turned to sex. We started to share horror/funny stories and I thought, why not write another story for xhamster! So here is a quick little embarassing story from my past...
So I met the hot chocolate number form Trinidad. Her body was perfect. I mean porn star perfect. She had a boob job that you only knew about cuz she told you. She had the stereo typical black girl ass where it is full, thick, and round. Her face reminded me of an early Stacey Dash ( black girl ... Continue»
This, like all the stories I post on here, is a true story.
I studied arts in high school, which basically meant my school was a melting pot of stoners, hot alternative chicks, emo k**s and a bunch of teacher’s still thinking they’re 16 years old. The school was one giant orgy: over the four years I attended it, I must’ve fucked about 30 to 35 girls, including all of my female classmates but one. I have so many stories to tell about my time there, but I’ll start with just one.
That time in the bushes.
At one of our school parties, I’d made up with this girl who was a year younger than... Continue»
This is actually a completely random post. I was talking with my a friend the other day, and he reminded me of something I did at a party a while back. I used to go to parties and get completely trashed when I was in high school. And I had this ex Abi, who was a total control freak, but very atractive, she was 5'4, mix of mexican and caucasion, very smoothe skin, long black hair, big doe eyes, perky b cup size, and a very tight ass. one thing I hated was that she would tease and lead me on but never actually do anything. After a few months of blue balls, we broke up and went our separated ways... Continue»
As Leandra was enjoying herself on the guards cocks, Dorothy and Omby sat in their cell watching.
"Your friend is really ummmm...."
"Impressive", Dorothy said.
"No, I was going to say slutty", Omby replied back watching Leandra riding up and down Gotifri cock.
Dorothy laughed,"Yeah I would say that too". They watched as Leandra slowly stood up off Gotifri cock and walked to a pile of the guards clothes. She bent over showing the two guards her ass, but was reaching into the pockets trying to find the keys. It didn't take her long, knowing Zimo and Gotifri were paying no mind to h... Continue»
This fantasy joke i borrowed from a friends page....
...A man walks into a restaurant bathroom needing to take a piss. While relieving himself, a 2-foot man goes to the lower c***dren’s urinal next to him and pulls out a schlong that would make even legendary porn star Long Dong Silver gasp. The man considered himself predominantly straight, but he couldn’t help but stare with his mouth agape at the small man’s cock.
He took a little longer to wash his hands and when the small man finished his piss, he finally couldn’t take it anymore. “I’m not gay or anything but that is the biggest cock ... Continue»
Zimo turned to Gotifri,"Go grab the bench from the empty cell and bring it out here".
Gotifri opened the cell door and went into the back. Dragging out the bench to the middle of the room. Zimo went up to Leandra and grabbed a hold of her hand. He walked her over to the long bench. "Straddle the bench. I want to taste that pussy".
Leandra swung her leg over the bench and straddling it sticking her ass up in the air a little. Zimo slapped her ass, as Gotifri sat down in front of her.
Zimo slapped the other cheek. "Dam baby, fuck you got a tight body. That ass is fucking tight." He sat... Continue»
we were at the beach at weekend and had been there about an hour, when a old guy and his wife set up near us, i could not understand why as there was plenty of space,but i knew why when i caught him watching the wife,we went for a meal and a few drinks,when we got back to the beach the old couple were just passing us,we had been back about 15 mins when i could see the wife had gone to sl**p, she was lay on her side, so i thought i would have some fun,i pulled her top tit out of her siwmsuit so it looked like it had fell out,she was facing where the old couple were set up,it was about 10mins la... Continue»
Dorothy felt the sun cascading over her face, as she began to wake up. Slowly pulling her eyelids up, Dorothy saw Leandra sitting in front of her staring at her.
"We have to talk Dorothy".
Dorothy rubbed her eyes and sat up. "How long have I been asl**p".
"I would say we been asl**p for about seven hours. Its morning and we fell asl**p close to night. I first want to say thank you. Thanks for staying behind, I really do owe you."
Dorothy smiled,"I'm glad to do it, for a new friend".
Leandra packed up there things in her bag. "This journey I am on, you should know what Im going a... Continue»
A few months ago my husband and I looked at all different brands of the vibration platform physical fitness machines displayed at a Zoomer Show. After testing all of the exercise positions shown on the visual guide (particularly the sitting ones), I decided that the Turbovibe Light suited my personal requirements the best. I particularly liked the dual motors concept and the flexibility of the electronic remote programming features. All of the other machines at the show had a complex superstructure that I felt impeded diagonal access to the plate area, thus limiting my inventive routines.