Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 67
Chapter 24: The Vectrans Arrive - Part 2 (Or: Now You See It, Now You Don't )
The next day, the landing party beamed down to the Bahamas successfully, and they managed to mingle with the population without incident for the most part. To the rest of the townspeople, they appeared to be six other women who were on vacation, and they paid them no undue attention. Unfortunately, along with not being noticed by the locals, the six Vectrans had spent several days on the Islands, with very little success to report so far. The girls gathered together at a fast food restaurant for lunch one afte... Continue»
Chapter 21: The Vectrans Arrive (I Knew We Should've Taken That Left Turn at Albuquerque)
The starship Delphi 4 pulled into orbit around the earth. Long before the starship had come within range of any detection devices on earth, the Vectrans had activated a cloaking device for the ship.
"Cloaking device activated, Commander," said Rayleena. "We're now in orbit about the planet. They'll never know that we're up here, unless something should happen to hit us, and our sensors are too sophisticated for that to happen."
"Very good, Rayleena," Rhiannon replied. "All right. Rayleena, ... Continue»
The three of us stumbled through the front door of the house. It was myself, Sarah and Mika. We all arrived at Mika's house after long night of partying... Mika gave me the offer to spend the night, she had a futon couch that was she said was surprisingly comfortable to sl**p on despite being several years old.(Yeah right...No futon for me) Although I had a little to drink, I wasn't in too bad shape that I couldn't drive... I only lived about 15 minutes away... However I was tired as hell, and combine that with some alcohol, you might as well double your B.A.C. level, I may have to consider he... Continue»
1. We can get laid anytime we want
2. We never have to buy our own drinks at the bar
3. We piss sitting down so its easier to pass out on the toilet when you're d***k
4. We get out of speeding tickets by crying
5. We get out of speeding tickets by showing a little cleavage or leg
6. We can sl**p our way to the top of the class
7. We get to shop at Victoria's Secret
8. We can marry rich and then not have to work
9. We never have to pay when we go out on dates
10. Men take us on all expense paid trips - all we have to do is sl**p with them
11. Men light our cigarettes for us
12. Men... Continue»
(This is the first erotic story I ever attempted)
I woke up untangled myself from our embrace and went to quietly have a shower and get all cleaned up while you slumbered on lost into the land of dreams.
I quietly sneak back into bed stretching luxuriously loving the feeling of being all fresh and clean. It must have been some dream you were having as I noticed a tent in the sheet as quietly as I could I wriggled down to the end of the bed and gently pushed you onto your back, waited a few moments for you to settle back into deep sl**p, I gently made room between your legs my hair ... Continue»
As I lay on the cold hard pale blue tiled floor of the school's store-room, tied up helplessly by Kaylee and her mean little gang, with the humiliating 'Fart in My Face' sign she left by my head, I was visited and farted on by lots of the school teachers. Lucky for me, they were only the female teachers. I smelt lots of flavourful womanly farts that day, and it was finally coming towards the end of the school day.
The end of my embarrassing torture, or so I thought...
The very last visitor came into the store-room.
"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!" The old cow yelled. It was my headte... Continue»
Alright so last night I found out how really kinky my girlfriend is and I'll telling you why at the end. So last night I had gotten out of the shower and was in our bedroom and my girlfriend starts talking to me about average day things, then randomly she says to me "Hey babe, when's the last time you cummed in my heels?" Well, I was honest with her and told it's been awhile since I have because we've been busy and I asked her why and she says "Just wondering." So I'm still covered with a towel because I'm trying to find clothes to wear and I hear her in our closet and at that time I didn't th... Continue»
You are home alone. You find yourself looking around to determine what next to do. Wow, it’s been so long since you had the house to yourself. You sit on the couch thinking, “Hmmm what to do?” You end up falling asl**p on the couch. Sweet dreams begin.
In your dreams you smell lavender and you get this feeling that someone is with you, but who? This dream is peaceful and you find yourself relaxing. This person with you has soft hands, you think to yourself, “don’t let this dream stop it’s been too long since someone has made me comfortable”. Your entire body has been gently massag... Continue»
I had to write this because men get a bad rap that we dont eat enough pussy so i had to break it down so that it was forever and correctly BROKE. Men love eating pussy ive seen men in strip clubs eating stripper pussy (nasty). First lets talk about the pussy. It is nasty as hell and you should that the heavens men even want to put their mouth down there. Yall pee thru it fuck with it men cum (big loads) inside of it, Babies come out of it, discharges, yeast infections, bladder infections, yall bleed stinky bl**d for a week an get mad at who wont eat it? Then some of yall dont know how to ke
This is a true story, my first time writing as well. Happened in the winter of 2011. Makes me laugh whenever I think about it, haven't told friends so I would like to share with someone lol.
It was a Saturday on a very cold, typical Alberta winter night. Roommate and I had just finished a long hitch of OT. Decided to unwind have some drinks at the house and head to a club. Usual time looking for women and hitting the drinks hard lol
Met a few nice ladies, added a few new contacts in the cell, but no action.
Left the club decided to walk away from the crowd in hopes of flagging a cab.
I awoke to the annoying loud sound of my alarm going off.
I turned it off and laid in my bed for a few moments contemplating the day ahead. It suddenly dawned on me that I'm very likely to run into those cruel girls from yesterday again, and a big grin crept across my face.
I jumped out of bed, bounced around getting dressed putting on my silly uniform, ran down the hall to the bathroom, brushed my teeth and combed my messy bedhead hair.
"Have a nice day!" I cheerily told my reflection in the mirror, and hopped off down the stairs and rushed out the door. I was so excited, for the f... Continue»
Trevor found himself lying half naked in a bush, his shirt was off and his pants were around his ankles.
"How did I get here!" he asked himself.
He looked around at his surroundings and as he picked up his clothes which were strewn across the yard his memory came flooding back.
Several hours earlier...
Trevor had made a huge mess of things. His Spring Break visit was supposed to be a time to reconnect with his f****y but instead he brought a boozed up Bar Fly home for a romp in his Superman sheets.
After a weekend of apologising he had finally set things right with his mother ... Continue»
When I was done with my Air f***e boot camp, right out of high school, I was sent to a tech school in Texas. I was in my motel room one night, laying naked on the bed, and heard a couple come in. Just remember that I was down there for 18 weeks with out having any sex. So any ways I heard a couple come in and I was half asl**p and I heard the woman in the room next to me moaning and I got so hard I listened to them and then she said to her hubby you are so d***k. Then I heard the door open and then I got up to see if it was her or him and it was her so I put on my shorts and went out in th... Continue»
Stretching with a groan, my hands reach for the warm body I can feel under the covers beside me. The early morning light pours in from the window just above the bed, and as my hands run over your chest -tangling in the thick hair that covers it- I can feel you reaching up to close the blinds. A smile erupts on my suddenly warm face, there can only be one reason for closing the blinds at this time of the morning. I reach above us to the windowsill to grab my glasses, making sure to lean as far over you as possible, my breasts raking over your chest causing my sensitive nipples to harden suddenl... Continue»
By: Andrew Bonzua (a. k. a Andrew M. Bosnjak)
The door was open, and she had seen him drive off. Surely he would
have a copy of his own books in his home! Why, she could slip in and
take a look, and leave again, and he would never know.
She did not know why this idea slipped into her head. She would never
have thought of such a thing, usually. But it was true: here was an
opportunity to read the very works she had been so frustrated in trying
to find. A silly thing, to be unable to buy or borrow books, the
author of which lived in one's own town.
And it wasn't as if they wer... Continue»
7 Signs you're Gay
You fucking wish you were a real man... well just get over it because you never have been and you never will!
In fact, Ill bet you that you're actually gay... even if you dont want to be!!! haha - homo!
Okay seriously bitch, you need to be honest with this mini-quiz... you need to get over the denial and fear and when you know your should answer yes, just do it...
If you really want to know once and for all if you're a cock smoking queer, or not - then just be honest when you answer and then we will see... if you're a raging homo gay lord!
1. You have thought or... Continue»
I never really liked school, I'd have much rather spent my precious teen years partying all night and sl**ping all day, but I had no alternative...
I was quite popular, but due to various circumstances, one by one I lost my friends and ended up being on my own. I was always shy around meeting new friends though and none of the other k**s cared for me so I ended up feeling lonely and miserable.
One day, during the lunch time break, I had just ate my small packed lunch and headed off to the nearby field next to the playground to sit around watching the world go by.
"Psst... Psst, hey... Continue»
"It's been 20 days since I was exposed to the Augmented formula. In that time I have had several partners both male and female. The chemicle effect seems to supress inhabition as well as exaggerating Hormonal production. The effect even overrides sexual orientation as evidenced by my liason with a confirmed Lesbian classmate. With Spring Break quickly approaching I have decided to put my study on hold. I have developed a contact lense solution to dampen the effect of Occular stimulation."
Trevor closed his notebook and locked it in his desk drawer, then with bag in hand he proceed... Continue»
It was just after sunset and Danny was relaxing alone on a large four poster bed in the luxurious home of the vampire called Christian.
Danny had come to Christian's elegant home with his neighbor Sylvia, who was also a bl**d sucking vampire. Danny and Sylvia had a neat little, mutually beneficial arrangement going where Danny would let the beautiful vampire drink a small portion of his bl**d, and in return Sylvia would give the eighteen year old mind blowing oral sex.
From what Danny c... Continue»
A friend of mine is a doctor and as part of her training she did a stint in the sexual health wing of the hospital she was working in. She is a very game girl constantly regaling us with tales of funny medical incidents. She told me about games she and her colleagues played to keep themselves amused and spirits high while working in quite a gritty environment.
She said they had a hilarious time asking really intimate questions because people would answer 100% honestly (very eye opening she said).. other guys would treat it like counselling and the moment the door shut on the examination r... Continue»