Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 67

Mind-Blowing Head

It''s story time. My first time story so take it easy on me. The year was 2005. I had been separated from my wife forever, and we were pretty much done anyways. I always joke and say I was married on a Monday and in the club by Friday lol. Anyways my best friend decided I needed to go with him to his home one weekend. I figured why not. He had a girlfriend who had a friend who wanted to meet up. I was like cool, let's go. We get to my friends moms house(who happened to be out of town) that Friday nite. Me and my friend start drinking and his girl calls and says they are on they're way. 30 mins... Continue»
Posted by nasty2012 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 724  |  
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Woman's Story: First Fingering

When I had my first fingering, I was fresh out of high school and had just met the man who became my husband. He was a few years older than me but still a virgin and I was his first girlfriend. I too was a virgin. It was two weeks after we started dating that he wanted to fuck me. I wanted to fuck him too. He came by one night and we were out in the front of my parents’ house. We started kissing and he started to feel me up. He slipped his hand underneath my shirt and starting playing with my swollen nipples. Gosh, that felt good. He lowered himself down and starting sucking on them. Then h... Continue»
Posted by Sexyvixen36 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 657  |  
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Dennis The Menace: Part 5

Dennis The Menace: Part 5 - The sl**p Over
by Sniper32

One Thursday evening, Alice was in her bedroom getting ready for bed, she had
just got out of the shower and was sitting naked at her make up table putting
on moisturizer, when her son Dennis walked into the room and sat on the end
of her bed. He watched her apply the lotion to her elbows and knees. "Mom
come over here and lay down and let me do that for you" he said.

So she got up and went over to the bed an laid down on it. Dennis took the
lotion from her an squirted some on his hands an started to applying it on
her l... Continue»
Posted by sniper32 2 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 2707  |  
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The Substitute

I was three years out of highschool and between jobs. A guy I went to school with got a job as a substitute teacher in a school a few towns over and told me they were looking for subs to replace recently dismissed faculty. It didn't take long to get my teaching certificate, I was already qualified thanks to a bachelors degree in American History. When I myself was in Highschool I was by no means popular. I had braces and acne and weighed 250 pounds. After I graduated I decided to get healthy, by dieting and hitting the gym regularly I lost a hundred pounds of body fat and gained 25 pounds of m... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 2569  |  
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Unknown visitor

I was waking from a deep slumber from a nice sensation. Not completely concious yet, almost as if still in a dream. The sensation was amazing, like a blowjob almost, a warm wet tightly wrapped around circle. I kept my eyes closed, hoping not to lose this if it happened to be a very nice trick by my subconcious. It was so real i could even hear the slurping noise. I decided to enjoy it to the fullest so I let my hands go down and push the head down. Feel the throat tighten around my cock as it goes down her throat. Then there was a gagging noise and it bit me.
Jolted awake instantly I in... Continue»
Posted by albert_whiskers 2 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1212  |  
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Blondie/Dennis The Menace: The New Babysitter

Blondie/Dennis The Menace: The New Babysitter (Or When Dennis Meets Blondie)
by Sniper32

One Friday night Dennis was introduced to his new babysitter, a nice young
lady named Blondie Bumsted. She was a 35 years old friend of his mother, she
was a stunning 5'9, slimmed hipped, long legs, a nice ass and a perfect set
of 38c breasts.

Denise's parents Henry and Alice were going out for dinner and dancing for
their anniversary and would be gone most of the night.

Now as everybody knows Dennis is a handful to say the least, and as boys tend to be when there parents are way, get into th... Continue»
Posted by sniper32 2 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 5167  |  
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Dennis The Menace: Part 3 - Joey's Mom


Dennis The Menace: Part 3 - Joey's Mom
by Sniper32

One morning at Dennis's friend Joey's house, Joey woke up and went down
stairs to make some breakfast for himself. He then went into the living room
to watch his Saturday morning cartoons and to eat his cereal. He found his
mother Rita passed out on the couch. This was quite common as Rita was the
neighborhood d***k. Joey found her passed out some where in the house 2-3
times a week, so this did not surprise him. What did surprise him was this
morning she was past out wearing nothing but her bathrobe, which had fallen
open duri... Continue»
Posted by sniper32 2 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 3927  |  
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Dennis The Menace: Part 2 - A Mother's Love

Dennis The Menace: Part 2 - A Mother's Love
by Sniper32

A couple of days after Dennis and his mother had sex for the first time,
Alice was laying in her bed pondering her current situation. She couldn't
believe what was happening between her and her son. She could not get the
picture of her son with his huge cock plunging in and out of her or
the thought of her on her knees with his cock lodged down her throat shooting
loads of his hot warm jism in her mouth.

"God this is turning me on," she said to herself as she started playing with
her breasts, massaging them, caressing her n... Continue»
Posted by sniper32 2 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 4718  |  
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Love of food

*Another food play: this is a fantasy...*

I love food. Now don't get me wrong everyone loves food but I found my love of food through cooking class. Now I know the intro part is going to be mundane...
Hi my name is Melody but I like being called Mel for short. I'm 5, 3 with long curly red hair and green eyes. I have a bad temper...I have a curvy figure.
There now that's settled let's go on with the story.
  I was sitting in my room one warm Saturday evening eating strawberries with chocolate cream. There was other stuff laid out like berries and whipped cream along with other exotic frui... Continue»
Posted by ForeverGold101 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 221  |  
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Dennis The Menace: Part 1 - A Mother's Love

the characters in this story are copyrighted but the story is mine. depending on the responce to this story i have 5 more parts i will post.

Dennis The Menace: Part 1 - A Mother's Love
by Sniper32

Dennis was in his bedroom one afternoon, doing what young men do, when his
mother Alice stuck her head in and told him that she was going to the store
and would be back in about an hour. Now Dennis was home alone and being the
curious type decided to snoop around in his mom and dads room and see what
he could find. So he went down the hallway and into his folks room, first he
looked unde... Continue»
Posted by sniper32 2 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 5938  |  
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teasing mr kavanagh

Well what a day sun was shining for a change here in Ireland so my friend Amy and I took full advantage.
we wer going to go the beach but started talking about our tans and how much we hate tanlines and how my garden had high bushes so was out of view of all the houses bar my next door neighbour mr kavanagh.
we decided we would opt out of the beach and go topless out the back garden intead,nobody would be home till after 6 and mr kavanagh usually works during the day too so we thought why not lets go for it.
we were listening to music and tanning ourselves so we didnt hear any cars pull up ... Continue»
Posted by yoursnow 2 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 1196  |  
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tell me if you like this joke

Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's when they struck up a conversation. The Black Labrador turned to the yellow Labrador and said >> " So why are you here ? "

The yellow Lab replied, " I'm a pisser. I piss on everything....the sofa, the curtains, the cat, the k**s. But the final straw was last night when I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed."

The black Lab said, " So what?s the vet going to do ? "

" Gonna cut my nuts off " came the reply from the yellow Lab. "They reckon it'll calm me down."

The Yellow Lab then turned to the Black Lab and asked " why ar... Continue»
Posted by happyhead 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 2545  |  
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Red Lace Panties


Standing only in my red lace panties, brushing my teeth, I wipe the fog from the bathroom mirror.

Looking into the mirror, I see you step from the shower, give me a smile and a wink, then turn away from me to reach for a towel.

I can’t help but notice your sexy physique and your sweet tight buns. I swiftly turn and give your ass cheek a hard slap. Your hips thrust forward as your shoulders push back. You whirl around, with a scowl on your face.

Still brushing my teeth, I innocently tilt my head from side to side and shrug my shoulder a little as if to say “what?” Without sa... Continue»
Posted by vividtease 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 557  |  
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Food play

 I slowly walk towards you in my Lacey black thong and bra I smile seductively as I lean forward and tie you to the bedpost. I blind fold you , making sure that you won't see anything. I climb on top of you and grind my hips slowly against your cock as you groan out loud. You're hard and ready as I climb off and unzip your pants and out pops your beautiful pogo stick. 
I take the whip cream that I set out and rub it on you. You shiver as I lower my mouth to your throbbing cock. I hear you gasp as I start licking you up and down, moaning in the process. I feel myself getting wetter and I stop ... Continue»
Posted by ForeverGold101 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 214  |  1

New Rain

I said something wrong, you’re angry. Pacing back and forth you pause and look over at me. You turn away, reach for your keys and head for the door.

“No” I cry out as I run to you “don’t go.”

You are already out the door headed to your truck, when you reach the tailgate to close it you feel my hands grab your arm.

As you turn your head in the darkness you see me. My hair already drenched from the rain, my tender eyes pleading with you to stay, to love me, my flowered sundress soaked and clinging to the sexy curves of my body.

You turn your body towards mine. I can see your d... Continue»
Posted by vividtease 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 434  |  
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My sph fetish comes true!!!

After a yr of being with my wife I confessed to her about my sph, she actually took to it very well and was glad I brought it up as she has always thought it was tiny and didn't know how to tell me, we often talk about it and situations where I would be stood naked in front of a bunch of her friends with them all pointing and laughing at my small c*ck on one of her girly nights, we would try and plan a night where that would happen but always chicken out. I also wanted her to tell her friends and female relatives but she was too embarrassed about being with a guy with a small c*ck BUT when sh... Continue»
Posted by ilovemysmallcock 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 555  |  
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THE ITALIAN WEDDING

THE ITALIAN WEDDING

I was a very happy man.
My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year.
So we decided to get married.

There was only one little thing bothering me..

It was her beautiful younger s****r, Sofia.

My prospective s****r-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was Bra-less.

She would regularly bend down when she was near me.
I always got more than a nice view.

It had to be deliberate.
She never did it around anyone else.

One day she called me and asked me to come over.
'To check my s****r's wedding- invitatio... Continue»
Posted by tetamata 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 742  |  
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My sph fetish comes true!!!

Another story I found and loved...


After a yr of being with my wife I confessed to her about my sph, she actually took to it very well and was glad I brought it up as she has always thought it was tiny and didn't know how to tell me, we often talk about it and situations where I would be stood naked in front of a bunch of her friends with them all pointing and laughing at my small cock on one of her girly nights, we would try and plan a night where that would happen but always chicken out. I also wanted her to tell her friends and female relatives but she was too embarrassed about being w... Continue»
Posted by ilovemysmallcock 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 122  |  
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the bus stops here

I remember one nite i went to go meet a guy off the chat line and i got lost so i stopped to use the pay phone . while getting directions from him a bus on the other side of the street stopped and was waveing me over . so once i hung the phone up i went across the street and got on the bus,it was nite time , he just pulled his dick out while standing up and i went to my knees and sucked his dick off. this was the second bus driver i had sex with. the other one fucked me on the back of the bus in the parking lot of the mall. i went on to suck the guys dick off the partyline. it was good... Continue»
Posted by DEE-LICIOUSxxx 2 years ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 692  |  
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Step-b*****r's Torture

This story is heavily based on true events that's happened in my life.

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It all started on a sunny afternoon, I was 18 years old still living at home with my mum, my little step-b*****r was staying over with us for the week. His name's Charlie, 16 years old and he's not related to me by bl**d, just by marriage. I knew he had the hots for me, well who could blame him!
We only knew eachother for a few years, and he really thought I was into him, of course being a lesbian I was certainly NOT interested in him, but that ... Continue»
Posted by LittleMissFart 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 3438  |  
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