Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 66

Fun in the bathtub

The stories I´m posting here are absolutely true

2010, December 10
About 11:05 am


A hot bath almost always helps against a small cold. After a few cold hours at the weekly market the hot water could warm up and relax your body. And so did Claude who was lying in his large tub but there was no sign of ease in closed eyes. He put his arms to the sides and his half opened mouth occasionally moaned.

Suddenly I surfaced fitfully from the water and had to breathe heavy. The idea to give him an underwater blowjob was hot and realization actually was okay, but I always got out of breath. H... Continue»
Posted by Bea69 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor  |  Views: 528  |  
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sex without love

How do they do it, the ones who make love without love? Beautiful as dancers, gliding over each other like ice-skaters over the ice, fingers hooked inside each other's bodies, faces red as wine, as wet as an indian monsoon in June. How do they come to the come to the come to the God come to the still waters, and not love the one who came there with them, light rising slowly as steam off their joined skin? These are the true religious, the purists, the pros, the ones who will not accept a false Messiah, love the priest instead of the God. They do not mistake the lover for their own pleasure, th... Continue»
Posted by sweetcole12 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 181  |  
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My Week of Hell. (Week 1 of 7)

This isn't a sex story per se, so if you are looking for a classic son fucks mom chronicle, there are plenty to choose from here. I would know. ;)




As some of you know, last Tuesday was Marti Gras, or Fat Tuesday. A day celebrating debauchery and gluttony in all of its glory. A day of celebration rivaling New Year's Eve in scope and magnitude. In short, a epic day of partying and sex.


But the day after Marti Gras is the polar opposite of everything that Marti Gras stands for. Ash Wednesday. The beginning of the Lent period of fasting and repentance, if you belong to several major... Continue»
Posted by BigJ0526 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 449  |  
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Good girl gone bad, my first masturbation.

I am a young girl going to college and working part time tutoring k**s. I was always curious about sex, but I've never try it before. Since my hormones was changing, that makes me even more horny sometime. Here's my first experiment with masturbation. On a Friday night, after watching some porn movies, my pantie was so wet I couldn't resist touching my slippery pussy. Since I don't have any toy, I thought of something crazy and run to the kitchen. There I take out a cold bottle of water, then rub it against my wet pussy, wet on wet. I start to moan. I guess this is what they call pleasure. i g... Continue»
Posted by bunnyboothang 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1301  |  
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DrPervy's Pussy Eating 101

Now this is 4 the niggas that eat pussy (or at least try to lol).......let me start off by sayin there is a rite & wrong way to eat pussy.....if a girl ever say it hurt while you eatin her out you doin sumthin wrong (how you can make it hurt idk....but sum females have told me that sum niggas made they pussy hurt while they was eatin it lol).....now you cant juss move your tongue up &down & actually think you doing sumthin cuz you not especially if you not in the rite spots....take it from a pro ((ME)).....movin your tongue up & down is borin.....you gotta go from side to side & vibrate yo ton... Continue»
Posted by DrPervy 2 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 493  |  
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fgjghjfgjfg

My mouth was super dry
can i feel your, luscious, lips locking with mine
sweetylittle smooth pussy was saturated with her moisture
u separate my pussy lips and drove ur tongue in
plese held my breasts against ur mouth and starting sucking on them
shall i softly, caressing ur breasts.
laying on the bed, hands in her pants,
i also rarely wore a bra
stuffed her fingers into her pussy
She never wore underwear
pulling her pants off or by sticking my cock in her hand/mouth
three fingers stuffed into her pussy with one hand and was rubbing her clit with the other
walked over to me,... Continue»
Posted by kelly_hot 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Shemales  |  Views: 296  |  
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My Porn Film Fantasy - Anyone know of one like thi

My fantasy video would be one where a white couple were having an argument because the lady just found out her husband had been having an affair, the shouting prompts neighbours in the motel to call the police. Three big black cops turn up and have to restrain the husband and put him in the back of a police car...they tell him if they can get her to calm down they wont put him in jail, and they all take turns to go in and try to convince her to forgive him for cheating on her, satisfied that the lady is recompensed they reunite the couple , have them kiss and make up and tell each other how mu... Continue»
Posted by greyhaired 2 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 859  |  
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My first sexperience... read to love it

While on a vacation in the far north east part of India, On the day before I was due to leave the resort I was staying in, I had this singular experience, which I am about to relate.

The place I was staying in was in the forrests, by a lonely road, with plenty of vegetation. The cottage like living quarters were far apart, with a big garden with walkways and lawns separating them. I was enjoying the quietness of the place. For most of my vacation I was the lone guest, until a group of three very young college students arrived. Well, the people of the north-east are more chinese-looking
... Continue»
Posted by desi_rulez 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 517  |  
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Fucked Landlord's Daughter-In-Law On Diwali

My landlord is a retired colonel and has after his retirement he has built a huge home that anyone would rather call an apartment. More because of his two sons out of whom none was living in India. The younger was already working there but the elder had recently moved abroad. So as his wife could not get Visa and also the winters were approaching so her movement was postponed until a good time might come.

Meanwhile she used to teach music and dance to young girls while living in Pune and she was herself a very bright lady. She was young and aged only 26 or 27 years. She was beautiful too... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 488  |  
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Dear Mum

Dear Mum,

Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and got worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents and 2 sl**ping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Adam when it happened.

Oh yes, please call Adam's mother and tell her he is okay. He can't write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search and rescue Jeeps. It was great. We never would have found Adam in the dark if it hadn't been for the lightning.

Scoutmaster Ted got mad at Adam for going on a hike alone withou... Continue»
Posted by seedsurf 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 766  |  
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Lisa to Liz part 2

Well when Jim called told me what Liz had told him frist thing I said was who the hell is Liz? He explaned that Lisa was his wife but when she wanted my cock she was Liz. I started to try to make sure that my friend was ok whit all this but unknow to me the phone was on speaker and she yelled that it did not matter if he cared cause he was the reason it all started in the frist place. This was a lot for me to handle I told them I would come to there house tomorrow and talk about it.

After I hung up I started to think she was right it was his idea but, he was also my friend for all... Continue»
Posted by shotguner 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 146  |  
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SEVEN WISE MEN

Seven wise men with the knowledge so fine,
created a pussy to their design.

First was a butcher, with smart wit,
using a knife, he gave it a slit.

Second was a carpenter, strong and bold,
with a hammer and chisel, he gave it a hole.

Third was a tailor, tall and thin,
by using red velvet, he lined it within.

Fourth was a hunter, short and stout,
with a piece of fox fur, he lined it without.

Fifth was a fisherman, nasty as hell,
threw in a fish and gave it a smell.

Sixth was a preacher, whose name was McGee,
he touched it and blessed it and said it could pee.

Last was... Continue»
Posted by LORDLONE 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 525  |  
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25 ANNIVERSARY JOKE

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"

The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."

Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"

He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."
... Continue»
Posted by LORDLONE 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 255  |  
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DIRTY JOKE

A MOTHER AND SON WAS WALK DOWN THE ROAD THE MOTHER SAW A SEX HOUSE SHE TURNED TO HER SON AND SAID DON'T U EVER GO IN THERE. HE GOES OK MOM. ONE DAY JUST WALKING HOME AND HE CAME PASS THE SEX HOUSE THIS SMOKING HOT BLONDE SAYS DO U WANNA COME IN HE SAYS I CAN'T I CAN'T MY MAM SAYS SHE GOES I WONT TELL. HE GOES ALRIGHT THEN SO HE GOES IN. SHE SAYS DO U WANT TO GO UP STAIRS HE SAYS I CAN'T I CAN'T MY MAM SAYS. SHE SAYS I WONT TELL. SO HE SAYS ALRIGHT. SO THEY GO UP AND THE SAYS TO WANNA HAVE SEX HE SAYS I CAN'T I AN'T MY MAM SAYS SHE SAYS I WONT SAY. SO THEY DID. WHEN THEY DONE SHE SAYS U CAN TAK... Continue»
Posted by LORDLONE 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 738  |  
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Mafia Valentines


My love for you... it came and went.
So your feet are now in wet cement.

I'm here To fulfill your fondest wishes
Now that your husband sl**ps with the fishes.

Lie down with me -- it's my final offa,
Or you'll be lying wit' Jimmy Hoffa.

I picked up this card from a slim selection
But that's all they offer here in witness protection.

Be my Valentine, and we can do it execution-style.

Cinderella got her fella, with a slipper made of glass;
So please be mine, Valentine, or I'll have to whack your ass.

Violets are blue, roses are red,
I blew up your car -- So why ain't y... Continue»
Posted by crzs 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 118  |  
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Hallmark Valentines Day Rejects






Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss But I only slept with you because I was pissed.

I thought that I could love no other That is, until I met your b*****r.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

Of loving beauty you float with grace Now if only you could hide your face.

* Kind, intelligent, loving and hot; This describes all the things you are not.

I want to feel your sweet embrace But don't take that paper bag off of your face.

I love y... Continue»
Posted by crzs 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 260  |  
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home but not alone

This morning when waking up, as always, i go straight to the toilets, scratching carelessly my f****y jewels. I just forgot for a second that my cousine was at home since yesterday evening. She's there standing in the corridor staring at me. Such an uncomfortable feeling grows in me...

Now she's enjoying her breakfast, i go to the bathroom, washing myself and here comes my morning boner without warning, i start wanking, lightly, and once again i just forgot i'm not alone, and the door is not locked and there she's entering the bathroom, hopefully i was not moaning her name...

Now she'... Continue»
Posted by tibubusiko 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 795  |  
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Orgy just stimulating a nipple.

English is not my first language.
Apologize it.

It was almost twenty years ago.

I sat down with my girl friend in a quite Café. When she took off her coat, I realized she did not wear a bra that day because I could see the shape of her nipple on her thin clothes. I wanted to do a plank of it. So I touched her nipple slightly -almost barely- over her clothes in a way no one could see. It was a public place but she did not complain or resist. So I continued to touch her nipple slightly, barely and gently over her clothes again and again during conversation. Finally she sighed and closed h... Continue»
Posted by billfk 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 212  |  
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About Me & Who I'm Looking For

I don't have any friends, keeps me out of trouble. I think its my lips that make me smile but i could be wrong. I'm proud I don't have a job, gives me time to help out some poor k**s that don't have a father. k**s are the ones who will be here when we are dead and we need them to be smart and do the right thing. I love helping people and being kind to anyone in need, I spend most of my time working for people for free, cause I have more money then I could spend in three life times. my dad died and left me alot of money but that's a story for some other time.
I have two cars and one truck ... Continue»
Posted by mikeporter 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 349  |  
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Mall Sex

Great embarrassment filled my body. I'd never been caught having sex before and this was a whole lot different from most embarrassment.
I was hiding behind Jovanne's warm body and his arms slid around me, covering me and I was deeply surprised that he was putting his whole body out there just to cover for me. I slowly peered over his shoulder, breathing deeply and when I saw the face, it made me sigh with releif and I swore.
"What the fuck is going on? Emily? Holy mother fucker." Shyla hissed, glaring at both of us and I was surprised by her language. I raised a perfect brow, stepping of f... Continue»
Posted by milli214 2 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 1218  |  
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