Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 66

The Builders Story

The Builders Story

Chapter 1
I was working in a driveway of a house somewhere in darkest suburbia removing ivy from a house preparing it for rendering. Ivy does terrible thing to brickwork, it shouldn’t be allowed. Anyway its a dirty job very dusty. This was the first hot day of summer and the sun was blazing down, so I was making the most of it. Striped to the waste (plenty of sun factor on). Around lunch a woman comes out of the house next door and proceeds to push her wheele bin to the front of the house.
“Hello I'm Paul,” I say from up my ladder.
“Ooh you made me jump. Hi, I'm S... Continue»
Posted by grandpoobah 2 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 1562  |  
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First time FAIL

6/13/2012 *name used pseudonyms, but based on true events*

One of my friends, Brad, was having a kickback. Nothing major Him 3 other friends me and our female friend in the group Veronica. SO as you can imagine from a bunch of game artists and programmers it was a pretty standard night. Video games, beer, music, a comic book argument about Before Watchmen which almmost came to blows and so on. 2 of the guys left early around 11 p.m. because they had work in the morning. Leaving Veronica, Brad, Tyrone, and myself. Tyrone had the most to drink that night and violated the alcoholics sacred hym... Continue»
Posted by GamerDick 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 505  |  
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The Agony & Ecstacy

Out of town on assignment, I was staying with my friends in an upscale part of town..MONEY! He was out of town for the day, and I, was house sitting during the evening. His wife was out with her girls friends, partying it up.

It was a boring evening channel surfing and reading a book. The book as better than TV and I was on my 2nd glass of wine, when I heard the rear door open.

In waltzed, very carefully, Linda, who appears very sexy and quite too much to drink. She leaned against the wall trying to, gracefully, remove her shoes. Her long hair, plus her low cut tank top displayed a fine... Continue»
Posted by silverfox62 2 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 917  |  
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House Hunting Chrissie

CHRISSIE GOES HOUSE HUNTING

When I casually mentioned to one of clients during a session that I was toying with the idea of perhaps buying a house
and renting out my condo he needlessly took the time to remind that he owned one of the largest realty offices in
town. It must a salesman thing, not being able to leave business behind for an hour or two. You're no doubt
thinking to yourself "Hold on there Chrissie, don't forget you're a bit of salesperson yourself. After all your selling
your body to your clients every day." Let me clear something up for you. I've never had to sell my body... Continue»
Posted by chrissieCD 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  Views: 888  |  
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Surprise!

Here I was, on a Sunday night, going in the club to have some fun.
After few hours of dancing and drinking, one pretty girl came and asked me to dance with her. Looking at her I saw that she`s not a "grenade" so I was thinking maybe I will have some fun tonight so we started dancing. After a while I started rubbing her ass, then I kissed her...OMG she was such a good kisser.
After she broke the kiss she asked me to come to her place and I was so excited that i took her hand and put it to feel my boner.
She gigled and we start walking to her place.
As soon as we arrived..i couldnt stop ki... Continue»
Posted by mercander 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  Views: 2093  |  
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GUY'S PRIZE-WINNING "HANK BURGERS"

GUY’S PRIZE-WINNING “HANK BURGERS”


It wasn’t more than a few days after I met him than I learned that Hank liked to cook. So we sat around in his Arkansas trailer in the hills above Hot Springs, sucking each others’ dicks and watching Food Network.

On a Saturday morning, I was fucking Hank’s ass over the sofa in his trailer, and what comes on over his satellite TV but fucking Rachel Ray! Man, does she have cock-sucking lips- all glossed up and everything. For a minute, Hank and I stopped banging just to look at her. We laughed at each other, both of us experienced enough to recognize a... Continue»
Posted by cigardad4dad 2 years ago  |  Categories: Gay Male, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 690  |  
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One Night in April: Part 4

My name is August Fahey and two years ago I started secretly dating my best friends 16 year old s****r April Hunter. When I left for college we continued seeing each other long distance. To keep up appearances we'd go out on dates with other people but remain faithful to one another. I'd go home on Holidays and we'd sneak away together and elevate our pent up sexual frustration in (as the k**s say) marathon fuck sessions.

Time passed and we grew even closer. When April graduated Highschool she applied for Larchmont University, my school. I was ecstatic, but her mother had reservations espe... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 517  |  
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help me finish!!!

Ok so obviously that's not the name of this story, but I am having trouble taking this story where it needs to go. I was perfectly fine when I started but I seem to have a bit of a block and looking for help. I am pretty open and usually just write off the cuff... so if any of you would like to help and have some ideas it would be incredibly helpful. Let me know either by pm or posting a comment here. Would love any suggestions! thank you!

"Fuck!!!!", slamming my hand on the door. I can't believe I locked myself out. It's late August and there is a definite chill in the air. Well so m... Continue»
Posted by candicanne 2 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 340  |  
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Finger Fuck Date

I decided to post a story for the first time and naturally i'll start with one of my best stories! It was during my period at the university - in 2004! I didn't went home to visit my parents in the weekend and the city was laim those days! At night i was home with my friends and when i was out of liquor i went to a near b y café! I went there on a regular basis and knew everyone there! When i got there that night there were only the local d***k guys in their 50's at the bar, but there was a chubby student with great awesome tits pretty face and lips that could slurp a big black cock easily! I... Continue»
Posted by suspect9 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 484  |  
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The Butterfly

I enjoy working behind the bar, serving drinks,cheeky banter with boobs like mine
I am eye candy behind the bar, the other good thing is I get to find items left behind by the general public.
It was on such an occasion that I found THE BUTTERFLY!
What's that I hear you shout,it's a sex toy,pretty sophisticated one, a bullet shaped body with two wings on elastic thong, plus a remote control. Totally wireless, abandoned under a table, maybe the bright pink carrier bag was a bit girly for the stud muffin who left it!
Opening the bag imagine my surprise when finding a box with German words Sc... Continue»
Posted by DiamondLife 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 410  |  
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The Porch (an un-story)

The collar snug against my neck...a leash attached to the porch rail on both sides limits my movement....the warm breeze gently blows across my naked body...kneeling on the porch step my hands laced in front of me pushing my full round breast together...my strong desire for your thick throbbing cock as you stand on the porch with your jeans undone...teasing my lips making my mouth open wide for it… making my neck press against my collar as I stretch out for it...my mouth waters watching your fingers squeeze your shaft firmly as you stroke it forward & back...knowing you have full control of wh... Continue»
Posted by vividtease 2 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 437  |  
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Shy Indian Wife's Massage

We are an Indian couple from Kerala aged 34 and 38 yrs and married for seven years.

I had to go on a business trip which involved six hours of driving and my wife was with me in the car - After the meeeting we thought of visiting a nearby beach which is famous for Indian ayurvedic messages - I suggested that she go for a massage and she gave me a flat 'NO" for her.

I requested a massage for myself and the guy who mas massaging me was just around twenty years old. I suggested that my wife watch the massage as she had never seen it before.

As my massage was almost geeting over I insiste... Continue»
Posted by cuteb0y25 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 2209  |  
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Dennis The Menace: - Alice, The Mardi Gras Gang-b

Dennis The Menace: - Alice, The Mardi Gras Gang-bang Whore
by Sniper32

At a collage in California, three sorority s****rs were sitting around in
there bedroom talking. "Finals are done, so where are we going to go for
Spring Break this year?" Blondie asked.

"Well there's Tijuana or Cancun" Rita said.

"How about skiing in Aspen, that would be fun, or we could go to Ft.
Lauderdale, but that's a pretty wild place" Alice said shyly.

"We've been to Tijuana dozens of times, Cancun was fun until we drank the
water and all got sick, and Ft. Lauderdale was a blast last year, but ... Continue»
Posted by sniper32 2 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 815  |  
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The Lake House

Six months ago I started working at a new firm. In that time I made quite a few new friends, but no one more like me than Jack.

Jack and I had so much in common. We each loved fishing, hiking and swimming but I was still surprised when he invited me to his Famiy cabin on Lake Tahoe for the Memorial Day weekend.

I drove up a long gravel road to the Cabin and noticed that aside from his SUV mine was the only other car.

I didn't think much of it as I walked up to the door and rang the bell. After a few minutes and no answer I took out my cell and was about to make a call when I heard ... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 2 years ago  |  Categories: Gay Male, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1695  |  
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Closing Time with Jessica

[Fiction/Fantasy]

First Try at writing an actual story Sorry if it sucks

I looked at the clock. 12:59. YES! Then I pull my phone out of my back pocket to confirm. 12:59. Hell fucking yes! Then I turn behind me to the timer/official clock. 12:59:35 25 Seconds till we close and are finally allowed to resume all the closing shit we have to do. It's been a fucking crazy Friday Night, with more cars rolling through than normal.


*Bonnnnnnnnnggggggguh*


NO MOTHER FUCKING WAY! I look at my manager, Jessica and my face must have said "Please let me tell this car we closed". She ... Continue»
Posted by BigJ0526 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo, Voyeur  |  Views: 1435  |  
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Funny wank story

You think it will never happen and then...

I was spending a few hours jacking off the other day while I was watching my favorite site, Xhamster. I was looking at pictures and found a new hottie I liked named Melissa. She only has a couple of pictures on the site but I was stroking pretty hard to them.
When you stroke for a long time you build up a pretty good cumblast waiting to happen. I was heavily stroking, thinking of Melissa's cute ass and how good it would feel to fuck her doggy-style when I shot a short quick blast.
It rose up into the air. Normally I shoot a little to the left... Continue»
Posted by cockstrokin1 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 537  |  
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A to Z Fuckstories – D is for Double Damn!

Sorry about the wait. I lost the file with the first half of the story, so I started over. Then I found the file, so I wasted a couple days on a different story. I found it though! I've already started work on "E".

After supper, I retreated back to my fortress of solitude that is my bedroom. I remembered, without jacking off, the great day I had had. Holy shit, I had fucked two hot girls, and they both blew me. How much better could my life be right now?

My question was answered as I looked at my phone. It was a text from Catherine. She was busty, easily double D bra size, and she had a... Continue»
Posted by jurrjens 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 346  |  
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Alternate Therapy

My name is Natalie Smart. I am currently studying for my Phd in Classical Literature at a large university in Eastern England. I find my studies absorbing and I guess most will call me bookish if not actually a prude. It's not that I don't get on with people, I can be very sociable whenever I want to, it's just that I quickly tire of them, finding most of them shallow and in the case of the men, interested in one thing and one thing only. Unfortunately I am frequently pestered as I am judged to be quite pretty. My breasts are larger than average, I have a heart shaped face with flashing brown ... Continue»
Posted by maverick3489 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 448  |  
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Just a dirty fantasy I have

On the drive back to my apartment we stop at a red light, my attention turns to you, the lights of the city shine upon you, in such a way as I have never seen before, I begin to drink you in with my eyes, your flowing crimson hair, your gorgeous emerald eyes; I brush through your hair with my hand gently leaving it on your rosie cheeks, I draw you in for a kiss, as we embrace your lips quivers ,slightly, with anticipation, my kiss tender and soft, as tasting of the chocolate cake we shared for desert. We pull into the parking lot of my apartment. I exit the truck and quickly come open your doo... Continue»
Posted by fpenguin 2 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor  |  Views: 390  |  
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The Cruel Prank


It was a Friday night, a cool breeze hanged in the dry spring night.

I was with my 3 friends celebrating Carol's 18th birthday, she was the last of our little gang to reach 18 and we had been drinking outside in the quiet green park. We were all sat around laughing sharing jokes and reminiscing about our school life together and what we're going to do in the future.

After a while, we were all feeling rather ditzy from the drink and started talking about pranks we've eached pulled on people.

"You remember that time we got Malyssa with the 'impossible sit-up' prank?"
Jenni asked laug... Continue»
Posted by LittleMissFart 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1134  |  
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