Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 64

Unusual Footwear

I had a feeling I knew where tonight’s escapade was going. Kara had been glancing down at that second drawing on the coffee table most of the evening. We had been sitting on the sofa reading for a couple of hours, resting up after a bit of touristy activity. Kara’s feet were resting in my lap. Well, not exactly resting; she was using them to teasingly fondle my cock and balls.
I had noticed earlier that the Magnums were still on the nightstand from two nights previous, but I had also noticed that two of the sealed packets had been pulled from the box. I glanced to Kara, eying the drawing agai... Continue»
Posted by voivodevlad 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 156  |  
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Vacation Drive

Finally, we had our own car back and it was just in time too. We had already planned our vacation and even rented our room in Gatlinburg, Tennessee starting the following night. I lay in bed next to my wife as she was reading. She had a confused look on her face.
“What is it?” I asked.
“This sounds fake.” She replied, pointing at a page in the book. “But, I don’t know cars.” I rolled to face her.
“What sounds fake?”
She began to read to me from the book, which turned out to be a compilation of letters from the Penthouse Forum. It had been left at our house in Minnesota by one or the other ... Continue»
Posted by voivodevlad 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 670  |  
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Pizza

It was Saturday, alone. There was nothing going on but the sickening sight of Big b*****r torturing 8 house mates over a glass of water or so it seemed. This intellectual exercise was going way over my head and I was in desperate need of something a little more down to earth. But what is more down to earth than a pizza and a porno flick? Ah, yes! But what... but what do I want on the pizza? Pineapple? Mushroom? Sweetcorn? HA! HA! I'll get all three - Pineapple! Mushroom! & Sweetcorn! Better yet, I'll get everything - the works!

With shaking hands and trembling fingers, I picked up the telep... Continue»
Posted by bbwlovar 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 362  |  
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Smackin' Down The Broski

Following the SmackDown television tapings on July 26, 2011 at Philadelphia,
Pennsylvania's Wells Fargo Center, SmackDown General Manager Teddy Long is
leaving his office. "Teddy... b*o.... Before you go I got a great idea!" Zack
Ryder says as a he approaches Teddy while sighs as his newly assigned
assistant comes towards him.

"Zack... the show's over..." Teddy Long says as he looks at the Long Island
Superstar.

"b*o are you serious? This the WWE... the show's never over!" Zack smiles.

Teddy sighs again, "What is it now Zack?"

"b*o... I got a great idea...The Diva Broski ... Continue»
Posted by camdogg 2 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Sex Humor  |  Views: 350  |  
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The Wonderfully Naughty Wizard of Oz (Ch7/P2)

Omby Amby picked Dorothy up and threw her over his shoulder. She laughed as he carried her to the stern of the ship. There behind the ships wheel was a table, with maps of Oz. Omby placed Dorothy down and slide the maps off. His cock still rock hard, even cumming so much in Dorothy mouth. He got up on the table and laid back.

The stern had a few lanterns, but it was the moon that illuminated it. The moon's light hung over the ship as it made its journey and Dorothy could see Omby cock, sticking up in all its magnificence. She climbed up on the table,facing him and position herself over tha... Continue»
Posted by teflonsamurai 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 329  |  
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Facial Faux Pas

This story is completely true and takes place about 3 years ago (2009). I had been seeing my ex girlfriend for about 2 months at this time and we had done pretty much everything but sex. Normally we would see each other once maybe twice a week because we lived about an hour away from each other. So because we were teenagers, we just needed to do something sexual every time we go together. Usually this would end up in her giving me head, or me fingering her.

The reason we did not actually have sex is because we were both virgins and she wanted to wait a little while before we eventually ... Continue»
Posted by Monkeyfohead16 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 427  |  
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The Wonderfully Naughty Wizard of Oz (Ch7/P1)

Leandra walked out to the throne room. Looking up at the blacken throne of her father, now her's to rule. "Servant come forth and show yourself." She turned from the throne to a small nome coming out of the shadows. He was of average nome height. Had round thin glasses birched on a long nose. His beard was the color of coal. His long robe dark like fresh spilled bl**d, covering his small frame.

"Yes my Queen, what can I do for you."

"What is your name."

"Looppen, your majesty."

"Well Looppen you are my new right hand. You have heard Kaliko screams. Betray me or disappoint me and yo... Continue»
Posted by teflonsamurai 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 376  |  
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omegle spy mode chat delirium

question to discuss:
are u sick of "horny people" on here too?
D: let's send them to conversex and clean omegle up!!!

you:i am horny
stranger:Me too
you:whats conversex?
stranger:no idea
you:sounds good
you:i am sick of all non horny
you:people
you:whats the reason of web chatting if there is no sex involved?
you:?
you:or nudity
stranger:YEAH!
you:i mean come on
stranger:Come on!
you:i was holding my peepee in my hand
stranger:yeah!
you:and i was trying to show it to the girls
you:and i forged my likes list
you:and put Bieber and one direction etc.
stranger:YEAH!
you:a... Continue»
Posted by virgin20yearold 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 197  |  
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Ex-girlfriend Sarah. True Story 3

Although this is the third story about Sarah, an ex-girlfriend of mine, it’s actually about the first time that I discovered what a horny slutty exhibitionist she was. I hope you enjoy hearing about her exhibitionism, just as her current boyfriend will, once it’s published and I send him a link.

Sarah and I were invited to a fancy dress party. Sarah wanted to go as a sexy schoolgirl, complete with a very, very short skirt, black stockings and suspender belt, half undone blouse, etc. I should have realised right from that moment what a total exhibitionist she was and dumped her. But, ... Continue»
Posted by KevinGraves2 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 1171  |  
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The Wonderfully Naughty Wizard of Oz (Ch6/P3)

Leandra screamed, as Kaliko pushed his whole cock down into her ass. His boney old hands, holding those cheeks apart for his cock. He watched as his pale cock pushed that green hole wide. Leandra threw her head back, his cock so deep and so good.

"Oh fucking god, don't stop. Feed my ass that cock".

He smiled and threw his weight into the next thrust. Shoving his cock down to the base. Leandra could feel his coarse pubic hair rubbing against her ass cheeks and hole. He held his cock in her ass grinding around inside. Making her feel all his cock.

"Dorothy why don't you sit in front of ... Continue»
Posted by teflonsamurai 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 505  |  
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Peter's Pointer

It was nearly midnight and Molly was bored out of her mind. Her friend Peter was here and he insisted that she took the bed. It was extremely hot out but that didn't seem to bother Peter. They chatted about school and parents for awhile until Peter changed the conversation to relation ships...
"So who's the lucky guy that gets to spend lunch with you?" asked Peter mockingly.
"Peter shut up.. you know I don't have a boyfriend.. and what about you and Sarah?" Tutted Molly with a hint of jealousy. Peter laughed and said something about breaking up with her a couple days ago but something else ... Continue»
Posted by sluef 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 596  |  
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Cure for a bruised ego

"We gotta go out and get our Rage on!" Spence shouted smashing an empty Bud bottle.

"Yeah I don't feel up to that Spence." I said downing the last of my beer.

"Come on Zach you so need this, especially after a bad break-up. And as luck would have it I know the perfect place."

We hopped into spence's car and drove to some out of the way building in a part of town I normally wouldn't go.

"Where are we?" I asked.

"It's a little off the beaten path, but it has exactly what you need."

"What Hep C or maybe a Staph Infection?"

"Just go!"

We walked down a set of rusting... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 2 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 486  |  
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The Wonderfully Naughty Wizard of Oz (Ch6/P2)

Leandra slide her mouth away from Kaliko cock. Stood up and began removing her clothing. Sliding her black gown over her head. She watched as Dorothy opened her mouth, sucking up and down his slim curved cock.

"Your body looks amazing my dear Leandra."

"I hate you for this Kaliko."

He laughed as his fingers slide through Dorothy hair. "You know you could stop. But the spell in the wine has heighten your deepest desires. Why can't you be like your friend Dorothy. She's enjoying herself." Dorothy opened her mouth wider and took his whole cock down. Her face buried in his white and gra... Continue»
Posted by teflonsamurai 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 344  |  
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My fist sex experience story !

Hello to all readers i will share my first sex experience who was in 2010 in september on 16 date with a friend of mine colegue from my higt school and banch colegue also .
wee was colegue from about 2 yers and him was next to me in all those time him make many time good joke with me and him make me lauch a loot what him it was my best best friend ever i never have in my mind i will make with him sex ever until one day him ask me after class if im agree to make until at home on foot i was agree the weather was good and i say yes why not lets wolk until home .
On the road wee was talk about ... Continue»
Posted by CamEvent 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1540  |  
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A Little R&R

A woman I have been friends with for the last four years invited me over to hang out at her Apt. She had a friend over, and I had it in my head the friend without the boyfriend would be there, and I might possibly hook up with said friend. I brought a fifth of R&R and even shoved a few condoms in my pocket, just in case. When I arrived, my heart fell. Her single friend wasn't there; alas, it was the one girl that had a boyfriend. I wasn't that upset, I just thought, maybe. So, I broke out the bottle and we started drinking anyway.

As the afternoon progressed, I sat on the back porch w... Continue»
Posted by elvinmagick 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 336  |  
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The Wonderfully Naughty Wizard of Oz (Ch6/P1)

Leandra followed the snake like white trail, down the long winding tunnels. She knew Dorothy and the Oz guard had a good head start, but didn't realize it was so far. It seemed like the tunnels twisted and turned forever. It took her a good half hour before she heard Dorothy voice.

Dorothy and Omby were hiding behind a stone pillar. Leandra snuck up behind them and tapped Dorothy on the shoulder. She almost jumped out of her clothes. But as Dorothy jumped, Omby Amby instinctively grabbed ahold of Leandra throat. His grip surprised Leandra. Seeing his lanky frame would never make a person t... Continue»
Posted by teflonsamurai 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 313  |  
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Sarah and Daniela


This piece is a chapter extracted from my novel "Toggenburg" a lesbian love story set in the mountains of Switzerland which I've posted in case any Xhamster reader might enjoy it.


Toggenburg Thirty.

“We are going to get wet!” declared Sarah firmly. It was a fair analysis as she and Daniela stood huddled in the doorway of the Hotel Toggenburg contemplating the wretched weather before them. It was still raining heavily and the wind was blowing the sheets of rain around in a bewildering variety of directions. Umbrellas promised to be hazardous accessories ra... Continue»
Posted by Mikebasil 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 598  |  
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My son’s girlfriend

Well let’s just say I’m the mountainman66 I got that nickname so long ago I don’t even remember why. I’m a big old boy somewhat built like a tank, a water tank.



And like any good story worth telling, you have to have a protagonist and an antagonist.



But with this story you get to decide who is who.



It all started with my divorce, it left me somewhat high and dry, and not really caring about the opposite sex. Now who ever come up with that line had it right on the money. Opposite sex, what a laugh. More like obstinate sex.



BUT I’M NOT BITTER!



Okay now back to... Continue»
Posted by MountainMan66 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1277  |  
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Dive bar

Dive Bar.



Not being a big drinker there are not many bar stories that I can tell but I do have this one that is just so out there it’s hard to believe.



And I was there.



I’ve always been a motorcycle rider, it started out that I need transportation that was cheap starting a f****y on a retail pay limits your budget. So 10 year old Hondas or Kawasaki’s were what I could get.



Well after riding in any weather cold, wet, sleet and snow most people that I worked with or passed me on the road or were passed by thought that I was crazy or just one hard ass.



And I n... Continue»
Posted by MountainMan66 2 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 222  |  
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Just like my nipples...

"Do you like watching me?"

"I know I shouldn't... but I can't help it. You're so lovely."

"It's alright, really. I can tell you enjoy it by that smile on your face."

"Alright... now I'm embarrassed..."

"Please don't be. I like it when you look at me..."

"Really?"

"Yes... especially when you're looking like you're trying to not get caught..."

"I thought you didn't want me to be embarrassed..."

"I don't... I want you to look at me..."

"Really?"

"Yes. Really."

"You do look very nice..."

"Are you trying to imagine me naked?"

"Wha...?"

"You're hard, aren't ... Continue»
Posted by mustbtuesday 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 938  |  
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