Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 64

First Fuck Flop (Non-fiction)

Every word of the following first-hand account is true, as best I can remember:

It was the summer of '91, and I had recently moved to Lancaster, CA from Northern California. I was 16 years old, and horny as hell pretty much all the time. If you've read my other true story about my first orgasm, then you know that this story begins about two years after that.

I ran with some "interesting" people when I was younger...pretty much anyone I might meet at a party, at a dealer's house, perhaps at school when I wasn't ditching, etc...and even though I wasn't a bad looking guy, and ... Continue»
Posted by femalesonly 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Tow the Line: Part 2 "Party Where Your Heart

As I Stepped inside the J Dorm I could tell all eyes were on me. As I dodged awkward glances and pointed jabs I happened to catch a glimpse of Audrey leaning against a back wall.

"Hey Trash Can Guy!" she shouted waving me over.

"Sorry I never asked your name." she added as I crossed over.

"It's Nicholas Frost, most people call me Nick." I said lying...well not exactly, more like half truthing. Nicholas is my Middle Name, my first name is Calvin after President Coolidge (Don't ask me why).

"Nick I wanna properly introduce you to some friends. You met Damon already." she said poi... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Porno Party?????

I very rarely go to parties.

Most of the time I think of going to parties as some sort of a chore that I have to do for the person that I like that’s throwing the party, or the person that wants me to come with them. It’s just so hard for me to find interesting people to talk to, and I’m terrible about forcing a fake conversation. I just can’t do it anymore.

The only time parties are really fun for me besides the rare time when I get to talk to someone interesting, is when something fucked up happens.

So when I got a call from one of the guys I do jiu jitsu with, asking me if I wanted... Continue»
Posted by a_chord90 3 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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The New Sexual Awakening

Most guys lose their Virginity in High School, Trevor Smalls wasn't most guys.

A meek and reserved young man, Trevor had a tendency to fade into the background wherever he was, the one exception being the Chemistry Lab that was where he burned hotter than his Bunsen Burner.

Being from a modest background made socializing at Pinkerton University especially difficult, as many of the affluent students didn't take to kindly to mere Scholarship students attending their school.

But Trevor saw an in, a way of making his financial and socially difficulties vanish, the Janice Prize.

The ... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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subprize !!!!!!!!

A BIG SUBPRIZE FOR US

here is a store for you and you all, all ways have a great day...

mmmmmm OH Honey, you make my dick so hard just thing of kissing your beautiful lips with our tongues which are touching and mangling together like to lovers all wrapped together with our hands, arms, legs holding and rubbing each others naked bodies. We are as one person, a body of warm heated love mass. When all in a split secant my dog jumps up on to our bed. He pushes his noise in between our bodes, touch our breast and nipples, rubbing your hard nipples between my fing... Continue»
Posted by diggersam 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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A story for the holidays

Christmas is a time of joy and happiness, OR boredom and loneliness.

Let me back up a bit, Christmas time, three years ago, sometime during the night, my cock was running in and out of Anna's pussy. It was all wet down there, well lubricated and it was fun. I was kissing her shoulder, fiddling her titties and ramming her pussy with my cock. Back, forth, back, forth, ... Anna turns over, she kisses me on the lips and starts sucking them. I am fingering her around her butt hole and spreading her butt cheeks while pushing her lower body to rub her pussy on my body. We didn't do it anally excep... Continue»
Posted by happytaquito 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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In the Alps

As we step through the door, all heads turn towards us. Entering the restaurant, we are able to see down the Austrian Alps peak to a large lake. The view from the cable car ride was spectacular but the one from the summit is unrivaled as it is a panoramic view of the region. The headwaiter greets us and with a smile asks if we have a reservation. I reply with my last name. He locates it on his guest list and leads us to our table.

My tailored silk suit is dark gray with trousers breaking atop well-shined black leather shoes. A silk Jerry Garcia tie compliments the colors of the suit. I a... Continue»
Posted by tigerx1 3 years ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Pink Christmas

Delivering gifts was always a joyous event for Santa, but 2012 was a very trying year. His wife of almost 700 years had died in July and add to that the population boom he was giving out more gifts than ever before. On this particular Christmas Eve he had just cleared Asia and was crossing the Pacific ocean with his Reindeer set on California. As the came in low over Los Angels he landed on the roof of a beautiful mansion.

"Sara Jennings, age Six a "Barbie Dream House".

With a wink and a nod he fizzled into a cloud of red dust and flew down the chimney.

He materialised in a large l... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 3 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
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Breakup sex with my girlfriends s****r

The day was not starting out very well for me. As I walked out to my car I found a note on the windshield from my girlfriend Sheila. In her note she said she was breaking up with me. She didn't give a reason, just that we were through and she was moving on. This upset me quite a bit and I couldn't imagine what could have possibly brought this on. In hopes of getting an answer and maybe setting things right again I jumped in my car and headed for her house. As I drove I tried to think it through, Sheila and I had been together for nearly a year, and we always did things together going out to ea... Continue»
Posted by querico44 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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My friend Jerry returns

Jerry and I had been friends since we were nine or 10 years old, we played together, and learned about girls together over the next couple years as we started puberty. Whenever we were alone together we would talk about girls and get so horny and masturbate together. I don't remember exactly when, but at some point we both became curious and began to wonder what it was like to touch another guys cock and so it began as we explored each other. We both found it very exciting to touch and play with each other and before long we were giving each other blow jobs. I really liked taking Jerry's soft ... Continue»
Posted by querico44 3 years ago  |  Categories: Gay Male, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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mmm

Wow, that was pretty exciting," Sue said when he had disappeared. "I didn't realise what a randy sod you are, Steph. You wouldn't think that you only started frigging around today."

"Maybe, but I've been feeling like it for weeks. You know, I could easily let some bloke have a proper eyeful of my fanny, without any knickers in the way, I mean. They may as well be off, because they're saturated in any case. I'm really juicing up."

"Me too, but I don't know that I could just flash my fanny in cold bl**d as it were. Once we pull some bloke though, no problem."

"Tell you what, let me take... Continue»
Posted by foreignera 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Playing Along

In my defense… all this was only supposed to be just a harmless little prank and I really didn’t intend on things going as far as they did but… look, first let me explain what happened and you tell me if I was wrong.

I’m Ethan, a few years ago when I was 19 I was invited by my friend Kamario also 19 at the time, to spend the holiday weekend with him and his f****y at their home, it nothing fancy or over the top it was just a three day weekend in a small town in North East California with my friend and his f****y. Kamario and I arrived at his f****y house early Friday afternoon; his mother g... Continue»
Posted by Rust1 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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A Trip To The Mall Proves Messy

I really hate going shopping around the holidays. My wife has shopping lists the length of her arm and sometimes if I don’t go with her she’ll spend money like there’s no tomorrow. But I can only take so much walking around in those damn malls. I can’t keep my damn eyes focused on where I am supposed to be going and wind up walking into other people because of all the damn eye candy in the damn place. I have never seen so much damn young pussy walking around in one place in my life. The ratio must be 15 females to each guy. And when I say girls I mean the average female must only be 18 or 19 y... Continue»
Posted by bigsoftee 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
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Shower Her With Something

Recently I made an unexpected big splash in our new neighborhood. We just moved to a new home the end of this past week. The home was a former model home and it was the largest of the three model homes in a model center that was sold off and the previous office. So, naturally the home has all the bells and whistles. Well, that is except one thing... they disarmed the alarm system when we closed on the house. I noticed this when we were opening and closing the door constantly moving furniture in the front door. I wasn’t hearing the high pitched “beep” I used to hear when we first viewed the hou... Continue»
Posted by bigsoftee 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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The Pacifier


It's an amateur CGI film, running time 39 minutes. It has everything---Story, sex, emotion. The uploader, thesandman01, clearly put countless hours of work into it.
I dedicate this post to him. What follows is an adaption of his movie in a prose format. I have kept it as faithful to his film as possible, although I have condensed several scenes for editorial reasons.

"Just ten months ago, my life was in shatters."
Overly indulgent and depressing music playing, fade-out to dresser with shattered... Continue»
Posted by Haseo89 3 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Hooked

One early Sunday morning bored and a little turned on I decided to check Craigslist personals for a little fun (if I got lucky) and or just for shits and giggles.

This ended up landing me a hooker, pretending to be an average girl looking for free sex (usual craigslist stuff, but she never advertised she was a hooker until I emailed). Which kind of made me want to have fun with her a little.

Emails are as follows -

Riverdale (me):
"Hi, I saw your ad on craigslist. I saw your pictures and I just had to compliment you on it."

The girl:
"Are you generous?"
----

This shit again..... Continue»
Posted by CountJones 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Stuff about me (anime)

I like anime, you know those japanese cartoons that are all the rage with those fringe types of society. I think it's great most of the time, I love the stories, I love the characters, and I love the art styles.

some of my favorites are:

Cowboy bebop, yes I'm one of those where this can't go anywhere but the top, It's great, I started watching it on adult swim and now I own the DVD's. It turned me on to getting a taste for jazz, and queens. I've identified deeply with different characters, and I love the thought of being a space cowboy.

"Trigun/Hellsing", with Trigun I love the cyber... Continue»
Posted by Blueballs4ever 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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eighty-Nine things a woman can't do: (and cou

1. Know anything about a car except its colour.
2. Understand a film plot.
3. Go 24 hours without sending a text message.
4. Lift.
5. Throw.
6. Run.
7. Park.
8. Fart.
9. Read a map.
10. Rob a bank.
11. Resist Ikea.
12. Sit still.
13. Tell a joke.
14. Play pool.
15. Pay for dinner.
16. Eat a kebab whilst walking.
17. Pee out of a train window.
18. Argue without shouting.
19. Get told off without crying.
20. Understand fruit machines.
21. Walk past a shoe shop.
22. Make a decent bacon sandwich.
23. Not comment on strangers clothes.
24. Use small amounts of toilet paper.
2... Continue»
Posted by Jim-Nice-But-Dim 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The International Council of Man Laws.

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her Blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss's car.
(d) When she is using her teeth.
3: Any man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed and eaten by his friends.
4: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his s****r is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
5: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mate's fridge is forbidden. ... Continue»
Posted by Jim-Nice-But-Dim 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Dare Game - Sheila's Story

"Why don't we try something new today?" - Sheila suggested as she jumped on the bed.

We were having our usual "what are we doing tonight" conversation.

Our group was small but we usually got along well watching movies and playing video games. We weren't the kind to drink or go to big parties...
you could say we were all a little lazy and to be honest, that night I REALLY saw nothing wrong with simply hooking up the Wii
and playing Mario Party as usual.

"What's wrong with the usual?" - I said... demanding we continue our match.

"C'mon... be a little adventurous. We might find some... Continue»
Posted by CountJones 3 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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