Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 64

Closing Time with Jessica

[Fiction/Fantasy]

First Try at writing an actual story Sorry if it sucks

I looked at the clock. 12:59. YES! Then I pull my phone out of my back pocket to confirm. 12:59. Hell fucking yes! Then I turn behind me to the timer/official clock. 12:59:35 25 Seconds till we close and are finally allowed to resume all the closing shit we have to do. It's been a fucking crazy Friday Night, with more cars rolling through than normal.


*Bonnnnnnnnnggggggguh*


NO MOTHER FUCKING WAY! I look at my manager, Jessica and my face must have said "Please let me tell this car we closed". She ... Continue»
Posted by BigJ0526 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo, Voyeur  |  Views: 1430  |  
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Funny wank story

You think it will never happen and then...

I was spending a few hours jacking off the other day while I was watching my favorite site, Xhamster. I was looking at pictures and found a new hottie I liked named Melissa. She only has a couple of pictures on the site but I was stroking pretty hard to them.
When you stroke for a long time you build up a pretty good cumblast waiting to happen. I was heavily stroking, thinking of Melissa's cute ass and how good it would feel to fuck her doggy-style when I shot a short quick blast.
It rose up into the air. Normally I shoot a little to the left... Continue»
Posted by cockstrokin1 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 535  |  
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A to Z Fuckstories – D is for Double Damn!

Sorry about the wait. I lost the file with the first half of the story, so I started over. Then I found the file, so I wasted a couple days on a different story. I found it though! I've already started work on "E".

After supper, I retreated back to my fortress of solitude that is my bedroom. I remembered, without jacking off, the great day I had had. Holy shit, I had fucked two hot girls, and they both blew me. How much better could my life be right now?

My question was answered as I looked at my phone. It was a text from Catherine. She was busty, easily double D bra size, and she had a... Continue»
Posted by jurrjens 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 341  |  
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Alternate Therapy

My name is Natalie Smart. I am currently studying for my Phd in Classical Literature at a large university in Eastern England. I find my studies absorbing and I guess most will call me bookish if not actually a prude. It's not that I don't get on with people, I can be very sociable whenever I want to, it's just that I quickly tire of them, finding most of them shallow and in the case of the men, interested in one thing and one thing only. Unfortunately I am frequently pestered as I am judged to be quite pretty. My breasts are larger than average, I have a heart shaped face with flashing brown ... Continue»
Posted by maverick3489 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 441  |  
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Just a dirty fantasy I have

On the drive back to my apartment we stop at a red light, my attention turns to you, the lights of the city shine upon you, in such a way as I have never seen before, I begin to drink you in with my eyes, your flowing crimson hair, your gorgeous emerald eyes; I brush through your hair with my hand gently leaving it on your rosie cheeks, I draw you in for a kiss, as we embrace your lips quivers ,slightly, with anticipation, my kiss tender and soft, as tasting of the chocolate cake we shared for desert. We pull into the parking lot of my apartment. I exit the truck and quickly come open your doo... Continue»
Posted by fpenguin 2 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor  |  Views: 388  |  
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The Cruel Prank


It was a Friday night, a cool breeze hanged in the dry spring night.

I was with my 3 friends celebrating Carol's 18th birthday, she was the last of our little gang to reach 18 and we had been drinking outside in the quiet green park. We were all sat around laughing sharing jokes and reminiscing about our school life together and what we're going to do in the future.

After a while, we were all feeling rather ditzy from the drink and started talking about pranks we've eached pulled on people.

"You remember that time we got Malyssa with the 'impossible sit-up' prank?"
Jenni asked laug... Continue»
Posted by LittleMissFart 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1133  |  
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Sexy Studying Sessions!

Honor looked at me from across the bed and caught my eyes staring at her fiery red hair.

"Are you ok Tommy," She asked, "I really need you to help me with these Maths problems and then we can concentrate on Physics"

We were both 16 and in Year 11 at our school. We had been good friends for ages and as our exams were fast approaching she had asked me to help her with her Maths, and in return i asked her to help me with my Physics. I had fancied her like mad for years but had never had the courage to ask her out.

"Yeah, i'm fine, just distracted a little." I replied, never taking my eye... Continue»
Posted by tomtheaussie 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 651  |  
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Sneak affair

Bella was brought into my uncles house as a maid,She had a one heck of a phat ass.I use to visit for holidays and had been fantasizing about her but she was a couple of years older.She was 32 and I had just turned 23.I had been thinking of ways to let her know that I desired her but she seemed so distant and hard to approach as she viewed me as her young master.My uncle and his wife left for work every morning and did not return until dusk.So it was just myself and Bella at home.My uncles house was built such that the maids had their own quarters separate from the main house.At night when ever... Continue»
Posted by longlas 2 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 1464  |  
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A chance encounter with my former slut slave mistr

A chance encounter with my former slut slave mistress

I am in the Kroger grocery in Toco Hills in Decatur GA, picking up some toothpaste, and you happen to have stopped in there to get an appropriately sized cucumber in the produce section on your way home from your swing-dance class.
It’s a shocking “OMG” moment. Neither of us really knows what to say, but you look fabulous in your swing skirt and I’m in a tank top.
We’re both thinking … we should just say hi and keep on walking, but we can’t take our eyes off each other. You just look great. I can’t speak for you but it ... Continue»
Posted by emorymed 2 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 330  |  
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Chat Buddy, Fuck Buddy



I had been talking to this guy on the internet for about 3 months. He was obviously sex crazy. We had been constantly flirting and there was definitely a sexual attraction. He lived about 2 hours away, so finally one night I drove up there. After some chit chat and a few beers/shots of whiskey, he came up from behind me and kissed me. We ended up grinding each other while I was straddling him. I was so wet and I couldn't handle it anymore. We p... Continue»
Posted by Sexyvixen36 2 years ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 924  |  
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Story: Body Shots




I had been without sex for a long time. I went to the bar one evening & visited with some male friends, none of them had ever appealed to me. We lived in a very small town where everyone knows each other. Aside from the bartender, I was the only woman in the place. James came into the bar and started visiting with my friends. He worked in town and lived in another town. I was immediately attracted to him. I had never seen him before. We made... Continue»
Posted by Sexyvixen36 2 years ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 459  |  
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Dirty Talk

I like to talk. It’s a genetic thing, I think. My mother talks a lot, my grandmother, and even back farther till before I was born. In fact, the women in my f****y are so used to over talking the men that sometimes we forget to listen; most of the time we think they have little to say. Perhaps that was the reason why I never found myself connecting with someone of the opposite sex. Maybe I just needed a connection with another female. I was quite young when I met such a woman. We were both c***dren at the time, but now that we are adults we know our connection is stronger than any between a ma... Continue»
Posted by anni_rue 2 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1021  |  
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Relief on the Road

I had been teasing my fiancé for a while at home. I would kiss his neck, slip my hand down his pants, and play with him until he got hard. Then I would stop altogether. I would do this off and on for a few hours at home. Then it was time for us to go out on our date. He was so worked up from me playing with his cock that he had become grumpy. So we got in the car and I started feeling bad for turning him on and then not making him cum. As soon as he pulled out of the driveway, I undid his pants and pulled out his throbbing cock. I leaned over and slowly slid my mouth down his shaft. He groa... Continue»
Posted by Sexyvixen36 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 920  |  
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Payback Time




When I was s*******n, I went to a club with my boyfriend, we had been having some troubles lately, so we went just for a good time. I could tell he was looking at every woman except me, so I pretended to look at every man except him. Just as I had hoped, he got jealous and left to "go to the bathroom." Naturally he didn't come back, so then this cute guy walked over and asked if he could join me. I said yes and we talked. When he found out my boyfriend h... Continue»
Posted by Sexyvixen36 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 923  |  
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Roadside Rest Stop

One night my husband and I were driving home from a wedding reception. When I asked him which way was the best way home, he had me turn onto a road that took us out of town. I knew what he had in mind, so while I was driving I started taking off my panties. He started playing with my already dripping pussy. We found a place to pull over. I slid over to the passenger's side and he got on his knees outside of the car and ate my pussy until I came. Then he put me up on the rear end of the car and fucked me harder then he ever had before until he filled me up with his load. All the while we cou... Continue»
Posted by Sexyvixen36 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 932  |  
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rainy day thoughts

Today I was mostly thinking about fruit! It all started out so innocently when the idea of sitting on his face and squirting cum into his mouth came to me as I was in the middle of an important but very boring meeting. Knowing he was in an impossible position to be able to wank over our mutual fantasies made my already bad bad mind work overtime. It was a very good idea he told me. But only on the condition that he could watch me slap my clit at the same time. I told him I was full of good ideas and that ‘yes that would be an option’. He said he hoped that my cunt was wet. In reply I said it... Continue»
Posted by Novocaine1 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 470  |  
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Dennis The Menace: Part 6 - Alice Meets Henry'

Dennis The Menace: Part 6 - Alice Meets Henry's New Boss
by Sniper32

One late afternoon, Alice was in the kitchen making dinner, when her husband
Henry came in the house though the back door. He through his brief case on
the kitchen floor, he then almost ripped the refrigerator door off the
hinges when he grabbed himself a beer. "Honey, your home so early and you
look upset" Alice said when she saw the look on his face.

"Remember earlier this week when I told you I was getting a new boss, well I
met him today. What an asshole." Henry said "He came in today and started
changi... Continue»
Posted by sniper32 2 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 1809  |  
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Vickies Boyfriend

This story begins in my bedroom, with my friend and her new boyfriend. We were all roughly 19 to 20 at the time. I had just brought a new gaming console and thought it would be a good idea to invite my friend over along with her boyfriend (who she invited by the way) so we could try it out.

My friend had been dating this new bloke just over 2 weeks and I could tell that she was pretty into him, although she hadn’t slept with him yet or done anything sexual, from what she told. To be honest I thought nothing of it. She had a new boyfriend every other month or so, in my opinion it was only a... Continue»
Posted by Red555 2 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1442  |  
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Mind-Blowing Head

It''s story time. My first time story so take it easy on me. The year was 2005. I had been separated from my wife forever, and we were pretty much done anyways. I always joke and say I was married on a Monday and in the club by Friday lol. Anyways my best friend decided I needed to go with him to his home one weekend. I figured why not. He had a girlfriend who had a friend who wanted to meet up. I was like cool, let's go. We get to my friends moms house(who happened to be out of town) that Friday nite. Me and my friend start drinking and his girl calls and says they are on they're way. 30 mins... Continue»
Posted by nasty2012 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 724  |  
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Woman's Story: First Fingering

When I had my first fingering, I was fresh out of high school and had just met the man who became my husband. He was a few years older than me but still a virgin and I was his first girlfriend. I too was a virgin. It was two weeks after we started dating that he wanted to fuck me. I wanted to fuck him too. He came by one night and we were out in the front of my parents’ house. We started kissing and he started to feel me up. He slipped his hand underneath my shirt and starting playing with my swollen nipples. Gosh, that felt good. He lowered himself down and starting sucking on them. Then h... Continue»
Posted by Sexyvixen36 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 650  |  
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