Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 63

five gold rings

26 December 2008

Darling, just a quick thank you note for my lovely Christmas present. A partridge in a pear tree, how unusual! You are SO thoughtful. I love you to bits

27 December 2008

Darling, thank you thank you thank you! Two turtle doves, how very sweet of you! You are such a romantic! Lots of love!!

28 December 2008

Thank you for the three French hens, darling, I suppose I can use the eggs. Bye for now.

30 December 2008

Hello sweetheart, I'm sorry about not writing yesterday but to be honest I was a bit worried about all these presents you were buying and I'm still ... Continue»
Posted by Jim-Nice-But-Dim 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  

The Office Jerk

Ray sat at his desk his gaze fixed firmly on Simon.

"Dare I ask why you're staring so obsessively at Simon, Ray?" Colton asked coming over.

"I saw him laugh a few minutes ago, that's why." Ray said keeping his Gaze fixed on Simon.
"Simon doesn't laugh Ray, are you sure it wasn't a burp?" Colton asked.

"It was a laugh I tell you. He was at his desk at his computer, he got a text then he laughed!"

As the two continued to talk they were joined by Amber, Beth and Hector.

"What's going on over here?" Amber asked.

"Simon laughed!" Ray said under his breath.

"Are you sur... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Vi träffades nere i stan en vå kramades och gav oss en het gick till ett kaffe och beställde kaffe med bulle..
Jag satt sidan om dig..tog min hand och smekte utanför dina byxor..den reagerade snabbt..jag log..
Du sa att den hade längtat efter mina smekningar...då viskade jag till dig att jag inte hade några trosor på mig..
Du flämtade och sa..du då åker vi bums jag svarade..nää det gör vi inte och började smeka dig igen..jag log..
Du tog din hand under min kjol och vandrade uppåt och jag stretade så du kunde känna hur våt jag var...
Du viskade i mitt öra..Mmm..d... Continue»
Posted by Christel60 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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Hikers beware!

When you go hiking there's a few things to remember. 1. There may be large carnivorous a****ls, 2. There may be snakes, 3. Always have protection. Ok with this advice we go to the story. My ex-husband and I loved to go hiking and camping and rappelling when we lived in Alaska. We would always go to the area around Turnagain Arm. One afternoon we were just out messing around, wandering the trails, basically just having fun. As we were walking along I noticed he was getting further and further behind. I continually had to stop and wait for him. I was getting a bit upset, we had come out her... Continue»
Posted by onehotmommy74 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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After the frat party... With Kara

The frat party was dying down, as the crowd became less dense the spilled beer pong cups and garbage became less apparent... Sucks for whoever is going to clean that one up.

The girl I met (we'll call her Kara for identity sake) was waiting for me to drop her off. We had a pretty good time, this is one of the few times I had a girl with me and didn't have a shit load of "Mother Hens" interfering.

"Are you ready to leave?" I asked.

"Yes" she said eagerly.

She was a cutie... he had ample breasts, and a nice shapely ass. Her hair was dark with blonde streaks... or blon... Continue»
Posted by elquicko 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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funny but sexy!!!

This is a true story I swear it and I hope the lady in question doesn't read this that is why I shall not put any names. You guys know me from my videos with Aspen by the name Dr. Sleeze/Bothced. I was introduced to this lady and yes she was of legal age, 29 I think. Before me she had only dated African American men but for some reason we clicked and she had part of my dark weird humor in her but we got together at her apartment and before we even took our clothes off she started telling me all this crap about why before me she had only dated black men and the last one she said had a big peni... Continue»
Posted by amatuerdrandpimp 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  

i was a lucky teen

Ok so this took place yeats when i was 13-14 years old i was aways horny so this took place on the day before thanks giving my twin cousins came over fore for thanksgiving and the week end i shared a room with my s****r one of my cousins would sl**p on my s****rs bed and the other on mine i would never sl**p on my bed i would sleppp on the couch but ween my cousins come over i sl**p with them so my cousins just became 15 years old my cousin andrea would sl**p with my s*s and her twin s*s would sl**p with her name is cesi so i was 13 u was 5'9 and had a ahletic body i played basketball and id... Continue»
Posted by greatstoryteller9704 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Han Valen Production office stow aways

Another show, another rigging call. The glamorous life of a big rock show usually begins at 6 AM in the morning putting the rigging in place that holds those massive sound and lighting systems in the air.

This day was starting out like any other. I got to the Arena around 5:15 AM so I could let in the caterers and stagehands. I got the guard to open to door and he went back on his cart to his office. I grabbed my briefcase and headed to the production office. When I got there I opened the door and there was a young girl sitting the desk. She kind of startled me. I asked if I could h... Continue»
Posted by kdrummer 2 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  



Today is the day where we want to meet, you are ringing on the door and I open it. As greetings we kiss. Then we talk and watch a film. For that we are laying on the couch and you have your hand on my leg and my arm is around your shoulder.
The film is a kind of romantic comedy with a lot of kissing. During the watching your hand is wandering up and down my leg and remains on my dick and my hand is wandering down to your breasts and is knead it a bit. Then we kiss smoothly and we take off our shirts and I continue with your breasts. Then I take off your trouser and continue kissing ... Continue»
Posted by John9090 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  

The bridge thing

It is a very warm summerday and we are go hiking. Walking behind the house up the mountain and the sun is burning on our skins. We walk along the paths and between the trees. After 2 hours we pass a house and move on after half an hour we arrive at a canyon. For our luck there is a plank bridge so we can go over the canyon. But when we arrive at half the bridge we stop and enjoy the good few from the mountain into the vale. You stand there and I was behind you. Feeling a little like having fun I grab your one hand with mine and bound you on one of the ropes of the bridge. With the other I grab... Continue»
Posted by John9090 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  

Ménage A Trois by Ghipster

Ménage A Trois by Ghipster

“Our cocks are no bigger than white men’s cock”. I shouted to the applauding audience of the university’s Jr. KKK Fraternity “And I speak for all black men everywhere, when I say,
THANK YOU! Thank you for this flattering but preposterous myth. And they say white folks ain’t done nothing for us. Ha!”
This unbelievable line of bullshit yielded me a standing ovation and an session of signing autographs afterwards. Little did anyone know, I did the whole lecture strictly on a dare from my pot-head roommates. But such was the life back in the glory days of coll... Continue»
Posted by ghipster 2 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  

For thousands of years, men have tried to understa


Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.

You don't get any points for doing something she expects.

Sorry, that's just the way the game's played.

Here's a guide to the points system:

You make the bed ...............................+1
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.....-1
You leave the toilet seat up....................-5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty... 0
When the toilet paper has run out, you resort to Kleenex...-1
You go out to bu... Continue»
Posted by Jim-Nice-But-Dim 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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A Teacher's Pet

In 2004, when I was 16 I started writing erotic stories. This is the very first one I wrote, about a teacher I had the hots for. Enjoy....

I am a 6th form student doing A level chemistry. Twice a week I am taught by Mrs Pen. From the first moment I saw her I was obsessed with her. She is 5'7" with a good figure and nice round breasts and a nice firm ass. I would often rush home to wank over the idea of slamming my cock into her pussy. On day, late in my second year, my dream came true.

I came in for a lesson just before my final exam to find I was the only student. Mrs Pen didn't ... Continue»
Posted by simonenglish 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Close call.

So the other day me and my girlfriend were home and her mom and b*****r stopped by the house real quick to bring us something for us. Well, when the 3 of them were in the living room I went to me and my girlfriends bedroom to get my phone, let's say I didn't get close to the phone. I was in the mood to fuck and cum on some heels, which I wished I would have had the camera. So while they're still in the living room I dig through our closet and get out the victim: A beautiful 4 inch, Nine West, black leather round toe heel(Yeah I gave the brand and type of heel, gotta make a story great with det... Continue»
Posted by shoeluvr 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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sweet revenge due to social networks

It was right before the hoildays of 2011 and my wife and I separtated. Feeling lonely and down due to the fact my wife was like i'll never get anyone that looks as good as her and put it on me the way she can which I thought due to the fact my wife on a off day is like a 8 and when she on a 10 and the sex is straight crazy. So feeling bad im on the phone with my b*****r and he's like go on a social site and look for old friends and get out im like please that shit dont work hes like you always find out how much someone wanted to fuck your brains out years later. So i'm like i'll try this so I ... Continue»
Posted by sparks1110 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Celebrities, Sex Humor  |  
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Late night suprise

Me and a few of my mates had gone round to another friends house for a night of beer and gaming .His name is simon and he has a very pretty gf called alice .She is about 5"3 and a size 12, brown hair , brown eyes and nice 32D tits.
Unfortunately she had gone out with her gf's so I couldn't ogle her tonight . Time was passing away and many games of Cod , halo and fifa had passed and a few beers downed .At about 1 O'clock in the morning we called it a night and began leaving , except I had driven some distance and had a few too many to drive home so Simon offered me his couch to sl**p on . I ac... Continue»
Posted by kc76 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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My Past Life

“Your hands, your mouth are to be helpers to my cock, as are those of your s****r!
She has made me cum, with her hands and mouth, more times than I can count!
At command, she hardens me, strokes me, licks, sucks, until the inevitable end of her skills, and then, what do you think happens? What do you suppose I do?

I shoot my cum, my semen, on her face. That is my greatest pleasure, but not by any means my only one. But soon, you will see for yourself what I will require from you”.

I will make no comment on the above variant version of the Marquis de Sade, except to say that it is ... Continue»
Posted by Raedman 3 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Little Tim EPISODE #1

My name is Tim.
I'm white, 18 about 6' tall brown hair with light stubble. I'm a freshman at Flowood university  in California. It's my first time out of my home state of Arkansas. So far all I can say is that the people here are beautiful. I, on the other Hand, am not as good looking. Not to say that am ugly I'm just very average. I'm staying in a coed dorm on the north side of the school.I can't help but notice that my dorm is girl heavy. Heh I think this is going to be a great year. Room 218. I walk in to find a shirtless guy unpacking. He turns around and says "Oh hey I'm Jones Bakerson."... Continue»
Posted by LittleAus 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  

Finally losing my Virginity at 25 years of age.

My first “attempt” at losing my virginity was a nightmare, which, looking back, I can now smile about.

I was a late starter in life due to having epilepsy when I was younger and it didn’t stop until just before I reached 22. Thus girls were frightened off and I was low on confidence.

Anyhow, when I was 24 I had tired of the fun taken out of me due to still being a virgin and after talking this over with my mate, he offered his girlfriend as a virgin-buster. Yeah, you heard right. He offered her to me so I could lose my virginity.

She was pleasant enough, not very bright (which is prob... Continue»
Posted by OralGiver47 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Quietly Watching

I was 16 and dating the sexiest girl I've ever known. She had huge, firm tits, a perfectly round ass and the sweetest curves imaginable. Well, my best female friend was having a house party while her parents were out of town. There were maybe 15 people there, not a large crowd, but a bunch of us stayed over for the night.

My girl and I crashed in the living room... as did the hostess and another friend of ours. It was only a few minutes after the room had gone quiet when I started to gently caress my girl's delicious behind. She rubbed herself up against my leg and I could instantly ... Continue»
Posted by spudrico27 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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