Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 62

teasing mr kavanagh

Well what a day sun was shining for a change here in Ireland so my friend Amy and I took full advantage.
we wer going to go the beach but started talking about our tans and how much we hate tanlines and how my garden had high bushes so was out of view of all the houses bar my next door neighbour mr kavanagh.
we decided we would opt out of the beach and go topless out the back garden intead,nobody would be home till after 6 and mr kavanagh usually works during the day too so we thought why not lets go for it.
we were listening to music and tanning ourselves so we didnt hear any cars pull up ... Continue»
Posted by yoursnow 2 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 1194  |  
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tell me if you like this joke

Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's when they struck up a conversation. The Black Labrador turned to the yellow Labrador and said >> " So why are you here ? "

The yellow Lab replied, " I'm a pisser. I piss on everything....the sofa, the curtains, the cat, the k**s. But the final straw was last night when I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed."

The black Lab said, " So what?s the vet going to do ? "

" Gonna cut my nuts off " came the reply from the yellow Lab. "They reckon it'll calm me down."

The Yellow Lab then turned to the Black Lab and asked " why ar... Continue»
Posted by happyhead 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 2544  |  
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Red Lace Panties


Standing only in my red lace panties, brushing my teeth, I wipe the fog from the bathroom mirror.

Looking into the mirror, I see you step from the shower, give me a smile and a wink, then turn away from me to reach for a towel.

I can’t help but notice your sexy physique and your sweet tight buns. I swiftly turn and give your ass cheek a hard slap. Your hips thrust forward as your shoulders push back. You whirl around, with a scowl on your face.

Still brushing my teeth, I innocently tilt my head from side to side and shrug my shoulder a little as if to say “what?” Without sa... Continue»
Posted by vividtease 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 556  |  
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Food play

 I slowly walk towards you in my Lacey black thong and bra I smile seductively as I lean forward and tie you to the bedpost. I blind fold you , making sure that you won't see anything. I climb on top of you and grind my hips slowly against your cock as you groan out loud. You're hard and ready as I climb off and unzip your pants and out pops your beautiful pogo stick. 
I take the whip cream that I set out and rub it on you. You shiver as I lower my mouth to your throbbing cock. I hear you gasp as I start licking you up and down, moaning in the process. I feel myself getting wetter and I stop ... Continue»
Posted by ForeverGold101 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 206  |  1

New Rain

I said something wrong, you’re angry. Pacing back and forth you pause and look over at me. You turn away, reach for your keys and head for the door.

“No” I cry out as I run to you “don’t go.”

You are already out the door headed to your truck, when you reach the tailgate to close it you feel my hands grab your arm.

As you turn your head in the darkness you see me. My hair already drenched from the rain, my tender eyes pleading with you to stay, to love me, my flowered sundress soaked and clinging to the sexy curves of my body.

You turn your body towards mine. I can see your d... Continue»
Posted by vividtease 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 433  |  
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My sph fetish comes true!!!

After a yr of being with my wife I confessed to her about my sph, she actually took to it very well and was glad I brought it up as she has always thought it was tiny and didn't know how to tell me, we often talk about it and situations where I would be stood naked in front of a bunch of her friends with them all pointing and laughing at my small c*ck on one of her girly nights, we would try and plan a night where that would happen but always chicken out. I also wanted her to tell her friends and female relatives but she was too embarrassed about being with a guy with a small c*ck BUT when sh... Continue»
Posted by ilovemysmallcock 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 550  |  
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THE ITALIAN WEDDING

THE ITALIAN WEDDING

I was a very happy man.
My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year.
So we decided to get married.

There was only one little thing bothering me..

It was her beautiful younger s****r, Sofia.

My prospective s****r-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was Bra-less.

She would regularly bend down when she was near me.
I always got more than a nice view.

It had to be deliberate.
She never did it around anyone else.

One day she called me and asked me to come over.
'To check my s****r's wedding- invitatio... Continue»
Posted by tetamata 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 737  |  
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My sph fetish comes true!!!

Another story I found and loved...


After a yr of being with my wife I confessed to her about my sph, she actually took to it very well and was glad I brought it up as she has always thought it was tiny and didn't know how to tell me, we often talk about it and situations where I would be stood naked in front of a bunch of her friends with them all pointing and laughing at my small cock on one of her girly nights, we would try and plan a night where that would happen but always chicken out. I also wanted her to tell her friends and female relatives but she was too embarrassed about being w... Continue»
Posted by ilovemysmallcock 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 119  |  
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the bus stops here

I remember one nite i went to go meet a guy off the chat line and i got lost so i stopped to use the pay phone . while getting directions from him a bus on the other side of the street stopped and was waveing me over . so once i hung the phone up i went across the street and got on the bus,it was nite time , he just pulled his dick out while standing up and i went to my knees and sucked his dick off. this was the second bus driver i had sex with. the other one fucked me on the back of the bus in the parking lot of the mall. i went on to suck the guys dick off the partyline. it was good... Continue»
Posted by DEE-LICIOUSxxx 2 years ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 687  |  
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Step-b*****r's Torture

This story is heavily based on true events that's happened in my life.

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It all started on a sunny afternoon, I was 18 years old still living at home with my mum, my little step-b*****r was staying over with us for the week. His name's Charlie, 16 years old and he's not related to me by bl**d, just by marriage. I knew he had the hots for me, well who could blame him!
We only knew eachother for a few years, and he really thought I was into him, of course being a lesbian I was certainly NOT interested in him, but that ... Continue»
Posted by LittleMissFart 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 3435  |  
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The Voyers That Got Away...

After graduating HS I became the girl that the guys I went to school with were curious about. 1 of them was 1 of my biggest crushes. He was twin and I was so into this weird little dude.

We crossed paths again while I was out 1 day and attending an event wit my s****r and we exchanged numbers. The look he gave me let me know why he wanted to exchange numbers. He wanted to fuck me. He knew it, I knew it & it was damn sure gonna happen!

The first time we got together he was shy,but so ready. He picked me up and we grabbed a bite to eat and I was just having a nite out with nothing in mind... Continue»
Posted by PeircedPlumpPleasure 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 368  |  
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F-a-c-k

"Fack"


Ah ah ah ahhh
Oh god damn
I'm gonna facckin cum
Oh shit, oh yeah
Fack fack faaaack
Fuck I am
I am,
I'm going to cum
I'm cumming

I never seen no shit like this
This bitch can twist like a damn contortionist
Condom on my dick
Of course it is
This bitch don't know what abortion is
So I can't cum in her
Fucks like a porn star
Looks like jenna
Fuck I'm gonna
Cum
I think my rubbers coming off
But oh it's so fuckin wet and soft
Fuck I'm gonna start letting off
I'm squirting and she's not getting off
And she's on top
I'm gonna fucking, oh ... Continue»
Posted by braindamage123 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 168  |  
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College seems GREAT!

So it goes like this, I was in my gf's s****rs house. Shes a college student and so shares it with three other girls. Well it was one night upon which we decided to vist her and go out with them all. We were told to use her s****rs room to change and so we did, my gf showered first and as she did, I started being nosey and looking through her s****rs things, but guess what, I found nothing worth noting (was looking to see if she had a dildo etc....) This was shocking as I presumed she would have had one, suddenly I heard my gf coming across the landing floor so i jumped onto the bed and lay do... Continue»
Posted by aaronlikesit 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 834  |  
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Fun During Gym Part 1 <3

I stand in front of the mirror with my popular group of friends which stand beside me, making sure their tits are plunged out for the boys and makeup/ hair is perfect. I'm the leader of the popular possy because I'd been friends with them all the time. Sydney, the sexy latina with a curved ass, Meghan, the hot blonde with the smooth stomach, Hailey, the perfect blue eyed sex goddess with the huge tits, and me, Taylor, the beautiful long blonde hair, perfect curved ass and huge sexy tities. (The word "tities" makes me laugh all the time XD). My best friend Sydney comes from behind me after chan... Continue»
Posted by milli214 2 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1859  |  
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The Adventures of Teri Sue

Teri Sue walked down the yellow brick-road wearing her trademark red-riding hood and carrying a basket with cake and wine for her grand-aunt. She was in a rather good mood as the sun shone on her smiling face with its rosy cheeks. The weather was perfect for the delighting trip she had been looking forward to for so long.
Her shoes, also the same color red as her hood, clapped on the yellow bricks in an upbeat rhythm and you could tell how full of energy she was having just started on her trip. She felt like singing and started humming a melody that she made up as she went along. Her a****l c... Continue»
Posted by ButtyBratToughL 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 387  |  
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Castle: What happens next

Castle looked at his cellphone Beckett was calling. He held the machine in his hand and swiftly pressed "Ignore". As he placed it back on his glass and chrome coffee table his plasma screen murder board caught his eye. He tapped on the portrait of Detective Kate Beckett and unfolded a digital file that spiderwebbed out all the known consorts in her mothers murder. He stared at the mess of names and dates and grudgingly dragged a file icon Marked Beckett to the Digital trash can.

"Deleting file." was all the screen said.

There was a knock at the door, he slowly walked over and opened it... Continue»
Posted by Johnny_Lee_Miller 2 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 512  |  
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Beer vs. Vagina

1. Beer is always wet. Vagina needs a little work. One point to BEER
2.Warm beer tastes awful. One point to VAGINA
3.A really cold beer is satisfying. One point to BEER
4.If after taking a swig of your favourite beer you find a hair between your teeth, you may vomit. One point to VAGINA
5. If you get home reeking of beer your wife may get mad, make a scene, kick you out, etc. If you get home reeking of vagina your wife may get mad, kick you out, even leave you. There's definitely a point to be had here, depending on your point of view and personal circumstances. I'll just call it a DRAW f... Continue»
Posted by juce_ 2 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 1525  |  
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This is maybe 20 yrs old but still funny

The new guy on the block

The other day my friend Jay comes over to my house and he wants to show me that his bald spot has grown so much that he has completely shaved his head. My son Mark comes in to say hi, soon as he sees Jay he runs out the room screaming. I thought that was odd but I figure he was just playing since he's known Mark since he was in diapers. The next day Jay comes over to help me work on my car, Mark comes out to hangout with dad, takes one look at Jay and again he goes running away yelling and screaming. I figure must have had to much sugar and ... Continue»
Posted by mikepete777 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 1180  |  
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Playing with Amy Dumas (Lita)

Posted by eroll113 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Celebrities, Sex Humor  |  Views: 699  |  
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squirting

Omg Iv only had sex with one guy as was with the same guy for four years and he never once made me orgasm.. I thought maybe it was me that i wasnt as sensitive down there as other girls or something..anyway I know now that he just wasnt doing it for me because last night I had a really naughty cam session with a guy from manchester..he was really fit and in great shape especially for his age(59)
He said he had a thing for school girls so i put on an old school uni that fit me when i was 14 but makes a great slutty outfit now. the skirt barely covers my bum as i always wore it short anyhow.
a... Continue»
Posted by 4dlaf 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 747  |  
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