Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 62

Frustration Contact. (Short Story) Also seen on L

The queue, waiting for the first lift is large, but my eyes focus happily on the blonde hair of a woman ahead of me, rather than the floor indicator above each lift. I love women like her, slim, mature, maybe even over fifty, dressed in a suit, shiny hair in a bob style, elegant and feminine.

I am going into the same lift as her, just so that I may gaze discretely at her and enjoy her good looks. My head thrills at the possibility that she has a thin blouse and underneath, a Camisole top. Utterly divine!

The right hand lift arrives and a mass of people shuffle sideways to get it, but ... Continue»
Posted by matureworship 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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fuck

1. Cut your finger nails!
This is such a simple little thing, but it goes a long way. You will be hard pressed to find any area on her body more sensitive than her vagina (inside and out), and the LAST thing you want to do is completely ruin the mood with a scratch. How do you know if your nails are cut short enough? Touch your gums with the tips of your fingers, how do they feel? If you're not sure, cut them. (If you're having daily sex with your partner, you might be cutting your fingernails as often as every 2-3 days.) But believe me, it's THAT important.
2. Listen and pay attention (in b... Continue»
Posted by manaliheel 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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atlantic city sex show

i was born in new jersey, grown up in new jersey and never ever ever left new jersey. why you ask. don't drive and no one drive me. trenton is where i am and will be always. at 67 old i want go to atlantic city. my landlord say's dudley, you want to go for ride to casinos and i want. so it happened. he drive and i so happy and tell him i got no money. he know because he get my disability check for rent. he say dudley, no worry, i help you but you have to pay back. i say i no want gamble, i want pussy. after long drive in middle i got go pp. we stop and i go pee. then i hungry and want burger a... Continue»
Posted by Dudley_Flem_Fartner 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Paradise Island: Part 1

29, Single white male seeks similar age female with good looks and vibrant personality. I’m getting tired of writing that on internet dating sites. I started this journal to release my inner thoughts on paper but so far I've only confirmed my sexual inadequacies and personal hang ups. I’m creeping ever closer to 30 and I’m yet to find ’The one’ I've had 3 relationships in the past 10 years and had sex about as many times. I’m beginning to realise life isn't like the movies.
I've read plenty of erotic stories on the internet and seen even more Porn films. I should be an expert at this stuff... Continue»
Posted by Skats 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Why I Sneeze When I see a Pussy!

Two things that I’ve pondered over and wondered about until just recently are: 1) I LOVE the smell of b*by powder! It gets me excited and makes me stand up and salute! –No, I’m not THAT much of a pervert; I don’t get into girls who aren’t the right age, but a lot of legal girls and women use it, too! And 2) whenever I see something particularly erotic, something that really turns me on, whether it be a really sexy picture or video, or if I’m with a decidedly delicious girl, or even when I just have a sexy daydream, I begin to sneeze! I mean I don’t just sneeze once or twice, but eight... Continue»
Posted by George178 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Not exactly a Sex Story



As the title says this is not exactly a sex story. Before I start this story, I want to tell a few things about myself. People call me different. I take it as an compliment. Some call me a sexual fanisizer, again thanks for the compliment. I never feel akward talking about sex with anyone. Rather I feel comfortable. I have no issues speaking with girls. I mingle with everyone. This is all u need to know.
I had crushes on many girls right from my college days and its always been a sexual desire. I watch porn every... Continue»
Posted by nagz 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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More Than Just A Word

Beth smirked at her friend across the room and quickly sipped from her mid afternoon glass of Chablis in an attempt to stop herself from giggling. Jenna, her friend since school, wasn't fairing quite so well in stifling her own fit of girlish giggles. As her shoulders began to silently shake, Beth knew it was only a matter of time before her friend would let out her customary bizarre high pitched whine, which always preceded the inevitable complete break down into hysterics for both women.

Beth had been here many times before. Like the time, many years ago at a party, where Beth awoke to th... Continue»
Posted by stalfonzo 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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The icing on the cake

I made a sponge cake the other day. Unfortunately we ran out of icing sugar so it was a bit plain. We sat down to eat it when I said to my boyfriend "It's a bit dry without icing"

"I could help with that if you like" he replied with a cheeky wink.

"Go on then" I said. He looked a bit shocked. I was serious.

"You really want me to? It might taste a bit funny" He said with a smile on his face.

"Come here and unload over my slice. I want you to ice it for me. Do it." A stern look on my face.

Immediately he got up and came over unzipping his jeans and pulled out his cock. I wat... Continue»
Posted by Skats 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Growing up in a house full of women (Part 1)

GROWING UP IN A HOUSE FULL OF WOMEN

This story is a little different than other stories I have written and submitted. Some of you may like it…Some of you won’t. (I suppose that is the norm with every story on this forum).
The main characters are as follows: Billy (Me), Aunt Judy, Grandma Thelma, Great Aunt Alice (Thelma’s s****r), Cousin Kelly (Judy’s daughter), and my s****r, Michelle. We all live in a very matriarchal household. I am the only boy in 5 genarations on my mom’s side of the f****y. I was 8 when my grandfather passed away, leaving me as the only male in the house. My D... Continue»
Posted by abc12345 3 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Are You A Porn Star?

Just for fun, an interesting analysis of data from the Internet Adult Film Data Base of some 7000 females and 3000 males.

Data is US-centric and percentage discussions are of women unless otherwise noted.

Weight is the biggest distinction between porn stars and the general population.

Porn stars are quite a bit lighter. At 117 lbs, the average female performer is a considerable 48 lbs under the national average for women, and the average male, at 167.5 lbs, weighs 27 lbs less than the national average for men.

The average male and female performer are the same height as the average... Continue»
Posted by billstew 3 years ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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My favourite panties.

What kind of panties do I wear? Well there are three types really. The type I normally wear under my jeans or the white cotton hipsters that I wear a lot are just an ordinary T bone thong. Most of them are white although I do have some that are different shades of red, from pink upwards, most are transparent and some of them have ribbons attached.

They have a small triangular piece of material in the front, which gets narrower as it reaches my slit. Most just cover the slit and then there is a cord that disappears up my crack and when it comes out the top, it attaches to the cord c... Continue»
Posted by pinks43 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Guilt vs Pleasure..only a dream

I woke up this morning all in disarray...my heart was beating ten to the dozen..my massive bosoms were heaving..my skin was all clammy!! I knew it was not true...
You see...I had this dream...an amazing dream that sent me into another world..I was walking along the forest..near our farm..just silly lonely aul me..and I felt I was being watched...the hairs on my arm and the nape of my neck stood on edge...I quickened my pace but ears all a-listening...As I got to the clearing..he was standing there...waiting..looking at me...no words spoken..just this cheeky grin on his rugged face...The day w... Continue»
Posted by 23yummytitties 3 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Katherine, every guy's teacher fantasy (a sto

Around 3 weeks ago in September I caught a serious illness by unknown reasons. Due to that, I stayed out of school for two days (Thursday and Friday.) On that Thursday there was a test being administered by Ms. Smith , my art teacher. The Monday after my two-day absence I was planning or more so of debating whether or not I should make up my test that I missed. I knew I had a test but I just didn’t tell my mother because knowing her she may have sent me to school. Two weeks later however which would be today (Monday) during my 7th period which would also be her class, she told me that I have... Continue»
Posted by blackwanker96 3 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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My True Thing!

My first Blowjob was with 45+ aged man and its was f***eful against my wish. That was first time I touched PENIS and after that incident was feeling so sinful, which made me to watch PORN in my free time and been to xHamster.

After being here got a desire to catch thick white man's penis, so was searching for safe man locally and got one Australian in FaceBook, who use to stay in India working as Network engineer. He dint knew that I was 18 and used to send lots of erected penis snaps to me, and its was really thick white one.

A day... Continue»
Posted by indianbee 3 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Timestop Day 5

Hope all of you are enjoying them :)

P.S. Did not write this people!

Day 5 – Sunday

Warren woke up to the sound of someone yelling. Just waking up, he couldn't make out what was said, but it was more than enough to wake him up. Looking over at his clock, Warren saw that it was just before noon. He pulled himself up into a sitting position and dropped his head to his hands, his head pulsing from having drank the night before. For awhile Warren just sat there. Then his head shot up as he remembered having woken up to the sound of yelling, which had to be his s****r, who h... Continue»
Posted by themessenger 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Theatrical......30

Theatrical………30, the conclusion,

Del turned but it was too late for her as well as another guy behind us picked her up and took her into the stall, there was one other guy with him and they took her close to the wall, tied her hands then hooked her to a hanging block and tackle, one of the guys pulled on the rope and her arms were lifted over her head,
one of the guys knelt down in front of her and pulled down her shorts, she seemed to be struggling but I noticed that as he got her shorts to her feet she lifted her leg voluntarily so that he could get them off, he put his hands round her... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 3 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Theatrical....29

Theatrical…… 29

Gerald was doing his lengths and I saw the troop of the princess and her maidens walk along the side of the pool and organise some beds, the princess looked around, possibly to see if anyone was watching her, I was tucked away at the end of the balcony and the handrail obscured me from being seen while my view was perfect, the princess walked to the edge of the pool and sat down,
dangling her feet in the water, one of her maids came beside her and handed her a jar, she began to rub some kind of cream onto her arms, “just get a nostril full of that Gerald and you will be up... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Theatrical....28

Theatrical……28

Come Saturday and I left her in charge of Andrew while I met up with Gerald and we spent the night at the hotel, I had never really figured out why we just didn’t go back to his place, I had a slight inclination where he lived but not certain, all I knew was that it would be a nice house because of the district it was in, but then when I thought about it, the hotel better suited our needs, especially mine with my wayward tendencies, but this weekend I had to talk with him about his long term plans because the wedding in America loomed on the horizon and I wanted to go as much... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo, Voyeur  |  
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Theatrical......27

Theatrical……..27

Friday was upon us and it was a bank holiday, Julia had arrived home late the previous night and was sl**ping it off, Andrew had his friend Chris over and Roy had said he had to go into work to complete an order, the only order he had to complete was the order from Leslie to get her knickers down, I went upstairs to see if Julia was awake, I approached her door and it was slightly ajar,
I peeped in and was still asl**p but she must have been warm during the night because her sheets and blankets were on the floor and her nightdress was up round her waist exposing her pussy... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 3 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo, Voyeur  |  
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Timestop Day 4

Day 4 – Saturday

The sound of the front door slamming woke Warren up. He looked over at his alarm clock. It was 6:43 A.M. – on a Saturday. Why was he awake? His mom never came home this early after her nights out.

Warren jerked his head towards his door as he heard the sound of the toilet from the bathroom he shares with his s****r flushing.

Then the night before suddenly rushed back into his mind, and what he had set up between Joe and his s****r. The sound of the door slamming must have been Joe leaving, not his mother getting home. He smiled as he thought about the night before, an... Continue»
Posted by themessenger 3 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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