Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 61

Pilot and lesbian

An old Marine Pilot sat down at the Starbucks, still wearing his old USMC flight suit and leather jacket and ordered a cup of coffee.

As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the pilot and asked, 'Are you a real pilot?'

He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life flying planes, first Stearmans, then the early Grummans... flew a Wildcat and Corsair in WWII, and later in the Korean conflict, Banshees and Cougars. I've taught more than 260 people to fly and given rides to hundreds, so I guess I am a pilot, and you, what are you?

She said, 'I'm a les... Continue»
Posted by semper-et-ubique 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 429  |  
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Knock on the door

I hear a knock at the door and come to answer it, hoping that it's u and not someone else about to see me in a tight schoolgirl outfit. I open the door and breathe a sigh of relief as I see U standing there. Ur jaw drops as U take in what I’m wearing, the tight top perfectly showing off my ample tits as well as most of my lacey bra, while the bottom half could barely be said to be a skirt with it rising just above my ass, teasing of what's underneath. I smile and say hi as we move inside, u shut the door behind u but cant take ur eyes off my sexy ass. We've barely walked inside when u spin me ... Continue»
Posted by claireidare 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 708  |  
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Bitter...But Oh So Sweet

As I sit here and write this I think to myself...this is still one of the most...well, when you read it you'll see what I'm talking about.

Around the same week I met a sexy BBW & a Atlethic yet thin guy:

She had chocolate skin, huge tits, a huge clit that stood straight up (she showed me via pics) & a thick ass that made you want to just bite it! She was very pretty in the face as well.

He was toned everywhere! His stomach was filled with muscle, his skin was carmel & smooth, HIS DICK WAS HUGE!

I talked to both of them eveyday. I was more of a friend to him and we saw each... Continue»
Posted by PeircedPlumpPleasure 2 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 422  |  
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The Italian Job 24

The Italian Job 24
Maria and I went back to the hotel, we went to the room and she decided she would like to go to the pool for a nap in the sun,
I rang Ellie and told her what had happened with Eduardo, she was very sympathetic and asked if Maria was ok and how I was getting on with her, I told her everything was fine and not to fret,
I still loved her, I think she just needed to hear me say it, I changed into my swimmers and went down to the pool, a young guy was sitting on a sunbed next to Maria who was laid on a sunbed, she had her eyes closed, she had her bikini on but I was not sur... Continue»
Posted by the_priest 2 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 370

Nice Ass

Back in the days when hubby and I were still more together than apart we were walking one day by the front.Not in season...not specially warm...not many about.

We saw him at the same time,standing on his own with his head bowed tied to a rail.Don't know if he was alone but there was nobody about and he looked rather sad.As we drew closer hubby said "Fuckin' hell! Look at that"...
I could see the massive cock swinging between his legs and I thought I wouldn't be sad with a cock like that to play with.

Don't ever fucking dare to say that my shitbag hubby and I are kindred spirits but as I... Continue»
Posted by Janeandthedonkey 2 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 1339  |  
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Tube Rendezvous

I check my watch: 10.31 perfect, I step onto the 3rd carriage of the tube at Oxford Circus, Central Line heading west. I check my mobile again, the text reads "10.31 Central line, 3rd carriage, OC, no undies ;) Bunty x"

I make my way to the corner of the packed tube, looking for the blonde haired woman, but no sign. At the next stop a sudden rush of people exiting and a new hoard entering. Suddenly I notice a shot of blonde hair moving towards me. The woman is close and has her back to me, she is dressed in a black jumper, black skirt, black stockings and a red jacket. I have a Gant shirt, ... Continue»
Posted by tallguy222 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 485  |  
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Uncle Timmy Takes Control...Part 1

Before coming over we lived in a village outside Middleton...I say village but it was two houses either side of a road really.It would take mammy and daddy about 20 minutes into town for the shopping or the cinema or whatever.When they went out for the night I would babysit.
I don't know if it was that daddy was a civilised man or that mammy had trouble inside but unlike others we knew,there was only me and the baby and a good few years between us too....Nice peaceful house.Hahahaha.

I came home from college one day to see the car gone and Uncle Timmy making himself at home with the teapot... Continue»
Posted by Janeandthedonkey 2 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1470  |  
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One day at work.

A true story.
I work in a large factory, i try to be friendly with everyone. When working the afternoon shift, there are cleaners that do the toilets, around teatime. One of female cleaners took a bit of a shine to me, a bit of flirting etc. I used to like talking to her whilst she was working, because she used to give me a flash down her top, you could tell she did it on purpose and she had big tits too.

After several weeks of verbal foreplay and tit flashing, i went to talk to her this particular day. She just blurted out...Do you want to fuck me... Me being the shy type just stood there... Continue»
Posted by andy5706 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 2806  |  
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The The Nurse's Uniform, the Pink Vibrator an

It was September and as it was my birthday, I had booked Jan for my birthday treat - an afternoon of sexual lust at her discreetly located house in the suburbs. I had made several visits before and we had explored and enjoyed each other's bodies getting more adventurous each time. I onw counted as one of her "regulars".

When I rang to make the booking, Jan (always the true professional) uttered those five sexy words which are always a big turn-on, "How do you want me?". Well, on previous occasions I had tried the usual: black stockings and bra; a basque with her tits deliciously exposed; an... Continue»
Posted by Mavic 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 219  |  1

Oops

(Mom walks in on masturbating son)

It was Friday night and I got home about 20 minutes early, ready to begin the weekend. The house was silent. Jeff, my son, must not be home yet, I thought. I decided to change into something more comfortable. That simple decision set off a chain of events that has forever changed my life.

When I walked in the room I froze in my tracks. Jeff was lying on my bed completely naked. He had one hand wrapped around his long hard cock. His eyes were closed and he was stroking his cock fast. I know I should have walked out of the room, but I was shocked and mesm... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 2 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 23038  |  
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Neighbors' Treat

(Female exhibitionist is spied on by neighbors)

It was mid morning when I heard the sound of the letter box clatter.

On the door mat I found a manila envelope addressed to the lady of the house.

There was no stamp so it had obviously been hand delivered, curious

I opened it and reached inside pulling out a single plain sheet of artist paper.

Turning it over I was shocked to see a pencil sketch of myself relaxing in the lounge and nude the waist up.

It was signed, for the lady exhibitionist.

There was an accompanying note which read,

"This is how we will remember you, th... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 1468  |  
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The Red Miniskirt

(Skirt leads mature couple to sexual adventure)

My wife and I have been married for 25 years – she is 45 and I am 48. It took a little red skirt to bring us the sexual adventure of our lives.

For our anniversary just over last autumn , I bought her a gold bracelet and booked a short country house break but as a fun present for me she ordered a short tight red mini skirt from a mail order company. I wasn’t to know how much of a “fun” present it would turn out to be although the first time she modelled it with a pair of lacey topped stockings I could see the real potential.

Babs is blon... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 1209  |  
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Dressing Room Slut

(Chocolate Harlot in orgy with the band & Yolanda)

I unloaded the gear from the van, time was getting on, and there was a lot to do before the set. I was a roadie for an up and coming band and tonight was to be their biggest venue so far. I humped the guitars, drums, amps, lights etc into the hall that the boys were playing in that night. As I worked I watched the early arrivals trickle in. They looked like the usual crowd, mostly teens and early twenties, but with a smattering of older folks too. Ok, a couple of thirty something's had dared to show their time ravaged faces, and being a lit... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 2 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1205  |  
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Sybian Training

Dear Diary,

Today was the most horrible day of my life. It all started going wrong when my old boss (and I do mean 'old'), Mr. Schmidt, took a leave of absence due to health reasons. He was old, but he was also a secretary's dream boss. Okay, he was a little wrinkly and a little smelly, which made it no fun going down on him, but on the bright side, I only had to go down on him once . . . maybe twice a week. He would even ask my opinion on things and pretty much let me take care of most of his assignments without a lot of interference. And a woman being able to work without a lot of interfe... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 722  |  
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Our Shared Bathroom Ch. 02

(She proudly goes topless and feels playful)

I could not believe how relaxed I was. I was in the shower, letting the hot water stream over my chest. I had just woken up maybe ten minutes ago. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to dwell on the images from last night that were stuck in my mind. It felt like I had had a great dream, but those usually come with a sense of disappointment when you awake to find they were not real. But these images were not from a dream but straight out of my memory.

My penis slowly began to swell as I remembered my s****r, Jen, inviting me to rub myself again... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 925  |  
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Melting The Ice Queen

(Widowed Mother in Law moves in)

Ever since we first met, she had been a bit cool and aloof; no, make that cold. Her daughter Debbie and I had dated for close to a year before getting married. I was 21 years of age, she was 24; second marriage for her, first for me. Maybe the old bitch never liked the fact that I wasn't a doctor or lawyer, or some highly paid professional. Nope, I was just a regular guy working in the retail clothing business. But I made a decent living and between my earnings and Debbie's income as a hair dresser, we lived comfortably. In fact, with a few wise, early inves... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 1262  |  
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Katy's Reluctant New Look Ch. 01

(Sexy conservative wife is put into uncomfortable situations)

"You look so good in your Calvin Klein suit, darling!" I told Jake as he hurried out the door with his orange juice sloshing out of the glass and across his fingers. He was running late for the sales meeting at the brokerage.

I love my husband so much! He's not one of those pretty boy types. Instead, he's a man's man; big, strong and very capable of taking care of himself in any situation, physical or otherwise! Jake's the kind of guy that knows what he wants and gets it. I guess that's why he has me!

"Thanks, Katy! You kno... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 833  |  
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Fuck Me, You Bastards!

(Wife gets an unexpected double fucking)

My wife Shere and I had just recently moved from the city to a rural area, out in the country you might say. We had grown tired of the noise, smog, and fast pace that come with living in "the center of things." Our new home was quite a long way from any neighbors, set back against reforested mountains with a grassy plain in front. The days were hot, the evenings cool, and the sunsets gorgeous.

Shere was 37 years old and more attractive than any girl half her age. At 5 ft 5 inches she has beautiful legs that gracefully accentuate her ability to fil... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 1276  |  
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My Best Friend's Wife

(His wife was ready, and willing; I was able)

Shot down again.

Things were definitely not going my way. Since the last Christmas Party, I'd dated four different girls, two from work, two setup by friends, and with the latest brush-off I was 0-4. I was beginning to forget what real sex was like.

I'd never had that much trouble, but my new job with its clearances and classified projects had me working under situations anything BUT conducive to romantic efforts. Endless overtime hours, long, sudden work trips, to places you can't talk about, and the effort to keep up with an extremely dy... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 2 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 5866  |  
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Persuading Shy Mom to Pose

(Can he persuade Mom to be his first model)

It was a normal birthday for me. The weather was wet and horrible, and I came home to an empty house. It was Friday, 5pm, and I knew my Mother would be home in a few minutes. Hopefully with the present I had asked for. A new digital camera. I had gotten interested in photography and cinematography a few months earlier, fascinated with capturing images of beauty in anything and everything.

Unfortunately, my Father was away on business for the whole week, so was going to miss my birthday. So, just me and my Mom alone for the evening. Not that I m... Continue»
Posted by KingAmir 2 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 12398  |  
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