Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 6

A canoeing day that went wrong/right.

A canoeing day that went wrong/right.



The events that got me into this position are unimportant. What is important is that I’ve been backed into a blind date, so my canoe buddy can get into a perfect 10 blonde’s pants. He has covered for me in the past. So fairs, fair. The 20 something brunette in the front of my canoe has a pain face and has dressed in clothes that do not show her figure at all. The only thing in her favour is that she hardly says a word and obviously knows how to paddle. I can’t wait to get this ‘date’ over!
The trip went without event until the last weir. John and ... Continue»
Posted by CanoePirate 3 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
2624
  |  
90%
  |  2

Revenge Fuck

Spencer woke from his sl**p naked with the scent of alcohol and pussy on his lips. He wondered if last night's activities were a dream. Spencer grumbled, turned over of his right side, and was about to fade back into dreamland when he felt his bed shift and a woman moaned right next to him. He slowly turned over to his left and saw what he thought he had dreamed. Sasha, a 5'6" black goddess that made guys drool at work. With her 35D breasts, slim 24 inch waist, and 36 inch hips and ass combo, she was a brickhouse. How she got into Spencer's bed was another story.

Sasha, still asl**p, turne... Continue»
Posted by jucoxfer 3 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
1666
  |  
85%
  |  2

Chastity

Hi. My name is Chastity. Yeah, it made it a little harder to get dates in high school, but fortunately most of the guys didn't know what it means lol.

I'm 32 years old, 5'1" tall, and weigh about 110. I have brown eyes, plain brown hair, and average features. I never attracted much attention in high school. I've been married for 13 years. My husband is only the second guy I ever let in, and I've been faithful to him ever since. We have 2 k**s -- a daughter 12 and a son 9. I work as a waitress at the local truck stop. The truck stop provides a "uniform" of sorts -- a t-shirt with t... Continue»
Posted by somewherealong97 3 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
2003
  |  
100%
  |  3

Hot Caramel by Dscurve

Hot Caramel by Dscurve

I’ve never been to one of these places. Nervously I walk up to the Plantation style hostel. A light drizzle has coated the steps so cautiously I walk up them in my long black dress. I’m thankful there’s a deep V slit right up front; makes it much easier for me as I pull it higher exposing more of my thigh, slowly I climb the steps shivering as the cold rain droplets land on my open back. I pause a moment at the top and adjust the two narrow pieces of material that are barely wide enough to cover my areolas. My nipples strain against the threads as a cool wind b... Continue»
Posted by jonline 3 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
340
  |  
100%
  |  1

First Date

She was 35 and I was 42 but we were both in very good shape. Actually, she was beyond that term, way beyond. She had one of those naturally toned figures where every part is balanced just right. She was in the absolute prime of her life, that window of age some women attain when they reach a maturity that’s truly a perfection of human femininity. You don’t encounter such a woman very often, one that is not otherwise totally engaged. But when you do, you take notice because the feeling she embodies rushes at you and through you. It stops you in your tracks.
It is even more powerful ... Continue»
Posted by richardstands 3 months ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
528
  |  
67%

Some fucking little things about me

Let me fucking talk a little bit about me:

I am a young stud thinking about fuck all the time. I live among very beautiful hot fucking women, so I am surronded by them all day fucking long. I am good looking and I usually get a lot of attention from females. I keep getting approached by all kinds of women just for satifying each other`s fuck needs, like I am some kind of fem fuck toy, a fucking living vibrator. I sometimes feel like fucking hate women for that, they don`t think I fucking can do better than that, that`s why I like to fuck them, make them love my fuck, then fucking abandon th... Continue»
Posted by Mrsircumalot 3 months ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
210
  |  
50%

The day it rained

So, we'd been wed for more than a week now..the love was blossoming but we had not managed to get our inhibitions out of the way and get down to business if you know what I mean. Mr P and I had met online, and after a 5 month long-distance relationship I fell for his dry sense of humor and sexy deep voice. I am an attractive woman and my ladies are a 36 C and I haven't ever shied away from showing off my cleavage and watching men stare ;) ..
House was full of relatives post wedding meant we had not managed to get anywhere apart from me staring at his hard manhood poking through his jammies a... Continue»
Posted by p_wangdu 3 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
408

Hypnotic goings on.

Life in the military can be quite boring at times so I got a book form the library entitled 'Teach Yourself Hypnotism' seemed a fun way to pass the time. Thinking it would be a waste of time I soon discovered that I could hypnotise some of my friends into doing things they would not normally contemplate, this caused much amusement in the barracks at night time. Eventually the novelty wore off and I didn't do it for a long time. Life was boring but about to change drastically, the Army was changing and we were about to have one of the first female Officers to command our Troop, some of the g... Continue»
Posted by Sapper0129 3 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
1550
  |  
75%

Mr Mushroom

Everyone (and everything) in this story was over eighteen years old at the time of writing.

---

He was new to the town, having moved for work, and he had moved into the apartment six weeks before. His wife would follow in another two long weeks. He was lonely, but he consoled himself with lengthy ambles through the Mid Western town's abundant forested parkland. The man lived on one side and worked on the other side of a particularly large and beautiful park, which stretched nearly to the downtown area, and split right through the most direct routes from work to home, and home to work. Ev... Continue»
Posted by hypoliteriddle 3 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
511

Teachers Pet.

It was a young 15 year old lads dream come true, we had a new teacher, Miss Newton my raving hormones told me she was the best looking woman in the world, tall, blonde, slim figure, nice tits and if I knew what a good fuck was I'd have given her one.

I wasn't the brightest pupil in the class or the dumbest, somewhere in between, but I was guilty of daydreaming, I would often drift off into a world of my own for most of the lessons, even more so now we had a gorgeous teacher I could drift of with and think lewd thoughts about. God if she could have read my mind I'd never come out of prison,... Continue»
Posted by Sapper0129 4 months ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
1559
  |  
85%

The Penis Wants a Raise

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labour.
I work at great depths.
I plunge head first into everything I do.
I do not get weekends off or public holidays.
I work in a damp environment.
I don't get paid overtime.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

MANAGEMENT REPLY

Dear Penis:

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work ... Continue»
Posted by XXXNoBounds 4 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
1978
  |  
100%

Dr. Goo & the Dalicks

Dr. Goo had just picked up his companion Rosy Palm, a hot red head nympho from the planet Earth, and was operating the controls in his HARDIS, looking up from time to time to check her out. Rosy spoke up after taking in the awesome surrounding of the space ship they were flying in, “so, what exactly is this HARDIS?”
Dr. Goo said “it stands for Horny And Arousing Device for Interstellar Swinging.”
“So Cool, it’s bigger on the inside,” she giggled “almost like me, that night on earth after you rescued me from the Orgymen.”
“yes, that’s why I wanted to bring you along, your not like the o... Continue»
Posted by JimmyNJenny69 4 months ago  |  Categories: Celebrities, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
141
  |  
100%
  |  2

Spray tanning


HOT & HEALTHY HABITS
Home
RETREAT!!
SHOP
Blog
About
What This Spray Tanner REALLY Thinks of Her Clients
Amanda Adams, CPT

It was one of the best, yet saddest jobs I ever had.

In college, I worked at the only tanning salon in town. Confession: I loved it. However, there was one part of my job that I dreaded more than any other—giving spray tans. (But not for the reasons you might be thinking… keep reading. And if you've read this blog before, you need to read it again).

Since this was the only spray tanning place in town, I saw women of all ages, sizes, skin tones and height. ... Continue»
Posted by AndrewBonzua 4 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
1106
  |  
100%

Horny men

Mike came in to my apartment yesterday afternoon looking pretty angry. When asked what his problem was, ‘his girl would not let him do her in the ass’ was the answer… I honestly laughed; this dude is 6’5-230lbs (I think, cause he is ripped) and his girl who is Spanish is about 5’2-160lbs (cute sexy chubby girl) and he can’t get her to take it in the ass, well after thinking about it, if he f***ed her that’s **** right there.

Mike sat down rubbing his crotch, “dude go relieve yourself in the bathroom if you need to” I said to him still smiling. “You don’t get it b*o… I came home horny as fu... Continue»
Posted by dlbiblkm 4 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  
3706
  |  
92%
  |  6

My Prim and Proper Slut Queen

This story is for those who closet freaks that choose not to come out!! (And everyone else) ENJOY!!

I got invited to dinner at my girlfriend Adrienne parent's house one evening. I had met with them on our 1st official date several months back before when she was nothing more than a sweet, innocent 22 year old (yeah, right). Come to find out she was not as innocent as she tried to portray herself in public. Behind closed doors, she was a closet freak that loved sex, but also loved being in control. Adrienne always want sex on her terms. I would break her sometimes but it always ended with a ... Continue»
Posted by jucoxfer 4 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
973
  |  
100%
  |  2

the freak n me

Hi I'm a freak ass man. that like to dress up in women pantie and play with my 2 dildo so one day I got on my computer and put a picture up in me in some sexy pantie and said LOOKING FOR SOME BIG DICK and as soon I post it I got 8 hits so I start to talk and telling the I need a the biggest dick on here so a white guy put up a picture of his dick and I was like WOW that big so I start to hook it up so I can have that he must b horny as me he give me his number so I can call him so I call him and give him the in for he needs so while I was waiting I did some couple line of coke and smoke some ... Continue»
Posted by SISAlando69 4 months ago  |  Categories: Gay Male, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
629
  |  
100%
  |  2

FIRST TIME EVER LOSING MY VIRGINITY TO THE GIRL OF

I think ever since I can remember, I was the hopeless romantic. I would open doors, pull chairs, bring flowers, and offer my assistance if someone needed help. It seems like this art form is dying day by day right in front of our eyes. I can assure you, there is nothing romantic about what transpired in my first encounter that cold January night! I remember it like was yesterday, not in a good or bad way, just as one of the funniest sex stories I will write about of sexual encounters of my life. Hopefully if you guys like this one I will have many more to add to the list! I am a goof ball and ... Continue»
Posted by SANCHO----CLAUS 4 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
3908
  |  
36%
  |  1

Truths and Dares

How did I find myself here? Here being running down the side of the road completely naked. I suppose that is what happens when you mix some young adults with too much time and maybe too much alcohol. It was Memorial Day weekend, so naturally an excuse to have a party. It started off innocent enough, margaritas and hamburgers on the grill. The girls sunbathed in their bikinis while the menfolk prepared the fire cooked food. A few hours and six pitchers of margaritas later the sun was setting but things were only heating up for us. The five of us that were left were sitting around a fire pit mak... Continue»
Posted by rhyze 4 months ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
2074
  |  
100%
  |  1

Nakasanayang Pagta-talik

Nakasanayang Pagta-talik by:RIDGZ

Kagagaling lang ni Rina sa trabaho ng gabi na ng umuwi siya at marami siyang na download na porn sa laptop nya sa opisina kaya naman tig-libog ang pekpek nya ngayon. Agad niyang binuksan ang pinto at nakita nya na nagulat pa ang nakakadena pa ring si Josh. Dati itong janitor sa opisina na ngayon ay sex slave nya na.

Inalok nya ng malaking sahod ang macho at gwapong lalaki na hindi nito inakala na para maging sex slave pala. Maganda, maya... Continue»
Posted by ridgz 4 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
71

Sex Questions

1. Have you ever had intercourse? Yes

2. Oral sex? Yes

3. Licked an ass? Yes

4. Had your ass licked? Yes

5. Stuck your tongue in their ass? Yes

6. Swallowed cum? Nope

7. Practiced bondage or BDSM? Experimented a little

8. Had anal sex? No

9. Had an orgasm from anal sex? Nope

10. Ever squirted or made someone squirt? Yes, dated a squirted for a while

11. Had sex with someone of the same sex? Nope

12. Did a threesome? Yes MMF

13. Did a foursome? Nope

14. Been in an orgy? Nope

15. Been in a gangbang? Nope

16. Had sex in public? Yes, good ole
... Continue»
Posted by AussieBob93 4 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
356
  |  
100%