Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 6

Tips for males on first date with a female - How t

This is a tip for first dates (or second if you're with a prude). I am sure that I didn't "invent" this position, but I've never heard any of my friends recount a story with it (until after I told them I used it). But if it is of interest, I'll share it.

I've been married for eight years now, but when I was single I used this all the time. Basically, I would lay on my back. So would the female. I would straddle her right leg over my torso and proceed to perform cunnilingus. Not too original, you're thinking. The reason you've got to try this if you haven't already done so is to confirm what... Continue»
Posted by ILoveBigBush 5 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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The one time I was 'taken for the team'

I previously posted an account of my 'taking a woman for the team,' and how blissful an experience it was. Fair is fair, and now I'd like to share a story in which a woman 'took me for the team.' It was the early 2000's. A buddy of mine was first dating a girl and I went out with them and this girl's friend. The girl's friend was turned off (or intimidated) by my intellect. I forget what she said to her friend or how it was re-packaged for my ears, but after this first outing she did not hook up with me because she thought I was too much of a brain (or some such crap).

I was not overly at... Continue»
Posted by ILoveBigBush 5 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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The Not So Quik Stop!

So there I am standing in line at the corner gas-stop/foodmart. Last in line behind four really pissed off people who have already been standing there for quite some time.

After joining them, I've been in line for about two minutes, the first fuel customer, a lady in her mid thirties, retrieves a small fold of bills from her purse and leaves it on the counter. She then departs the store, hops in her car and leaves.

The second patron, an older man in a bermuda shirt and kahki shorts, says "Fuck this..." takes a map book from the stand, walks away from the store and hops into an RV and h... Continue»
Posted by TheToweringZiggurat 5 months ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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New Years Eve party blowjob in car December 31 201

Of course all of my stories are true and of my exploits. So this past new years eve, I had a few parties that I had to hit. Two were client ball/types one at my new directors house and one at the Hilton Americas in Houston. My new girlfriend was going to attend the the last two with me. I planned to hit client a in Galleria from 7-8, client two in Galleria 8:15-9, my new Directors at his house in River Oaks 9:30-10:30 then the party with my girl downtown at Hilton Americas 11 until. I was already in my black suit as we had a meeting in the office at 4 then dispensed to various client par... Continue»
Posted by dblacknhou 5 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Watching Neighbor 2

My neighbor Linda lived down the block from me and I had seen her get fucked by her "friend" as well as her boyfriend. I have not been able to have a repeat of that session (although I have looked enough), Linda came to me and asked if she could "borrow" $50.00. Well I knew that there were two chances I would ever see that money again (Little and None), But I humored her telling her that I would lend it to her if she would allow me to touch her titties. She always declined and said she was NOT THAT kind of girl. I just smiled at her and she left.
2 days later I was just getting home when she ... Continue»
Posted by frogfur 5 months ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Magic Cream

Found this story in the internet, thought would be worth sharing


Magical Cream



It was a normal day in the Washington area, raining, and a bit cold. I would use the word 'pouring', but not for the state of Washington. Anyhow, somewhere under the shelter of a bus stop, sat a woman, this woman was 22, 5'6", a set of B-cups, and short brown hair, along with decent figure, along with a decent personality. Her name was Liz; she'd been there for maybe 10 min. before her bus showed up. When she climbed on, she immediately saw one of her best friends. Her name was Janet. The two were near i... Continue»
Posted by SharkyCH 5 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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Letter to a Super Stud

A story of revenge and punishment.

Dear Super Stud,

You seduced my Caroline too and you did write me a letter explaining what you did together. So thoughtful of you. It is not the first letter you wrote to men you considered as wimps, is it? I hope you will enjoy your time with Caroline today. I saw to it she is well prepared. I put what I thought she should wear on her bed, the thin white semi transparent silk blouse, a short black skirt and a pair of high heels. I am sorry to say; just before she went out the door I found out she had been so careless as to have panties on... Continue»
Posted by magas911 5 months ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
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Hell Hath No Fury Like a Husband Scorned.....

A husband comes to grips with infidelity and seeks revenge.

Bill Trebelov stood frozen and helpless, watching his beloved wife snuggle warmly into the arms of their next door neighbor, Roger. Emily smiled so brightly, she seemed to illuminate from within. She wore a flimsy yellow sundress that left little to the imagination. Her shapely body fit perfectly in Roger's embrace, as if they were two pieces of a puzzle.

They were laughing, surrounded by friends and neighbors with familiar, yet strangely indistinguishable, faces. Roger whispered something into Emily's ear, and it ... Continue»
Posted by magas911 5 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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What a wake up call

I've been up all night studying for an exam I have coming up in psychology and I've fallen asl**p at the desk it's been a long night and I'm so tired I can resist anymore so I just lay back and fell asl**p in the chair.
I'm having an amazing dream you have came back home and have stripped naked and are slowly rubbing my cock in my boxers. The dream feels so real it's so goddamn good. I open my eyes and see your head in my lap bobbing up and down as you suck on my cock it feels so good you notice I've woken up and look me in the eye and you continue to suck my cock I reach down and start to r... Continue»
Posted by scottishlegend 5 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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How we met - She got the magic juice (Part 1)

Memories of a girlfriend from the 80's - How we met

We met at a disco. She was together with a friend having some fun in town. We started talking and after a short time we went to the dance floor - She danced very close and I gave up trying to hide that I had a hard on and started to push my leg between hers when dancing around - She gave me a knowing smile and we had another few dances.
It was hot and the music was very loud inside the disco and we decided to get some fresh air - She went to her friend and whispered something and we went outside in the nice summer night.

Outside we ... Continue»
Posted by drbimmer1965 5 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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I think I might be the dirtiest girl on x-Hamster

You acquire habits from watching porn if you watch it enough. Like, I’ve been into wearing socks during sex. I must have seen it in a porn video recently. Any socks will do but coloured ones are best, and not short ones—socks that go up the calf a little. Thick ones. Knee socks, of course, especially mid thigh ones, wow, they make my pussy wet. Makes me feel younger, like a little girl starting all over.

I like most porn categories. I like lesbians. I like strippers. I like socks. I like babysitters. I like The Milton Twins. I like lap dances. I like swingers. I like room mates. I like b***... Continue»
Posted by Fridagirl 5 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Just twenty four hours

I'm hoping that writing this will help get it out of my mind. Not so much a story as a fantasy, with no real end, but I'd love to hear ideas to help continue my thoughts
OK, last year I was in Lanzarote and mainly went to one bar. It wasn't a gay bar as such but the guys I met were. The main 2 were about 50. Maybe mid 50s. Just normal guys. One quite tall and the other pretty chubby. I'm thinking the tall guy is quite well hung, but nothing too huge, and the chubby guy a bit smaller.
So, anyway, its set there. Or with those 2 guys anyway.

I admit my darkest fantasy and we agree to carry ... Continue»
Posted by flashman1807 5 months ago  |  Categories: Gay Male, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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THE WILD THING

You have to love it. You’re about to leave work on a Friday evening. You’ve tidied up your desk a bit so things are in order on Monday. Check your phone for messages to finalize your plans for that night. You’re all amped up for whatever the weekend may bring and then wham! Your boss drops a stack of legal documents an inch high that needs to be proof-red right away. Would love to grab him by the belt and throw his ass out of the god-damned window…. Wave bye-bye as he screams for 18 stories. But I have bills to pay, so it looks like his feet will stay on solid ground.

So that was my... Continue»
Posted by cookiemonster50 6 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Friends with benefits Part TWO (Edith)

this is the second part of my fantasy....

It took me about 3 minutes to decide what matching set I was going to wear for the night out with my friend. I found a very sexy Simone Pêrele satin demi bra with its matching thong, that was my choice, I turned around to my friend which was in her "born suit" and "I CHOOSE THIS ONE... you sexy bitch!"

She gave me the ok look, "lets get dress first and then I am going to put you make up, I have couple of ideas, do you mine if I take pictures.....hahahahah whom I am k**ding, I am going to take tons of pictures, my sexy friend.

I ... Continue»
Posted by ilialenyc 6 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  
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'Twas the Night Before New Years'

‘Twas the night before New Years,
The lights were turned dim,
Every person was stirring,
Especially Kim.
Her stockings were black
And clung to her thigh.
She sat on her bed
And let out a sigh.
Her thoughts were all filled
With what was to cum.
She knew it’d be her
And for sure more than one.
She picked out her panties
Matching bra trimmed in lace.
Turning to the mirror
With a smile on her face.
She liked what she saw
Indeed it was HOT!
She could not resist
But to reach for her spot.
The hairs on her neck
Beginning to stand.
She imagined herself
On a beach of white sand.... Continue»
Posted by h2olover 6 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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Friends with benefits, part ONE (Edith)

This is a fictional story.



My cell rang with a familiar melody, I picked it up and looked at the screen. It was my friend Edith. I answer it and her voice on the other end said, "do yo want pizza and a fuck?"

I just giggle, "damn woman...." Then she interrupted me... "what don't you like pizza???" She cracked up...

"Hey I am in the neighborhood, mind if I stop by?" Edith said.

"No worries, bring some beer, real beer, no Coronas."

"Ok, will be there in a few."

This woman has been my friend ... Continue»
Posted by ilialenyc 6 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Shemales  |  
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Office Environment and Fast Anal Sex

Call me a modern girl, I like sex, teasing, drinking, sex, men, more sex, and of course those facials, the dirty kind I blogged about earlier.

In the office the other day, I was greeted with a glass of champagne instead of my Espresso.

Dave, the copier guy snucked a bottle in, and as we stood in the small coffee room and poured me a second glass, he admitted he thought about me, behind his wife's back.

That should have sent my feminine alarm bells ringing, but strangely it made my morning pussy twitch, something most husbands know that females are partial to a morning shagging, 'I hop... Continue»
Posted by Fridagirl 6 months ago  |  Categories: Anal, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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A Shortie for Susan - Part 2

Bindi
Andy was in the shower stroking his cock, remembering the amazing fuck with his Math Tutor Bendy Bindi yesterday afternoon. In his imagination he could still feel her hot thighs pressing into his arse and her hands pinning back his ankles as she took him in the Amazon position. Just when he couldn’t imagine it getting any hotter, Susan his step-mum appeared in the shower, standing behind him, pressing her tits into his back and gripping his slippery cock.

“What are we going to do with you, you naughty boy? I bet you’re thinking about fucking that Indian slut Bindi again. Well ... Continue»
Posted by dasx2 6 months ago  |  Categories: Interracial Sex, Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  
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That's What He Said

I saw a brown man sitting on the back step of a lorry in the drizzle of an English music festival. It was Thursday morning, the 27th of August 2015.

''Would you like some rum?” were the first words he said to me. A lot more words followed over the course of a very d***ken weekend.

“I have a girlfriend. She's called Scarlett... I love her, I think. I mean, she's really hot. She's an 18-year-old online stripper you see... bit of a nightmare though, she's really c***dish.”

“What do you expect from an 18-year-old?” I laughed. “How old are you?”

“32. I was born on Christmas Day 1982. I ... Continue»
Posted by GeorgiaSalim 6 months ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
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All These Years!

We finally talked 15 years after the divorce.

Much of what is here is fiction. It is set in an alternate universe where the laws are slightly different. If any of you is a lawyer and would like to correct on legal facts, please go ahead. Just remember, this story is not about reality. This story is for the enjoyment to those who have been duped and plundered by cheating bitches and honorable courts.

She got down from her car and walked towards the house. She is not as beautiful as she was once. She is not as young as she was once either. She, however, is still the same bitch who p... Continue»
Posted by magas911 6 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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