Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 5
Ok so im new to this whole story thing so send me feedback thanx.
Ok so it was dec. 16 2011. I had just moved in to my new house so it was empty besides my bed in my room nd a table n the kitchen nd sum chairs.
So as it being my new house i decided to have a little kickback (mini party). It was me and my girlfriend Jessica and my three good friends Tom, Pat, and Jas. So all five of us were in the kitchen playing kings cup. We wer on our 3rd game and Jessica was pretty wasted by then and couldnt hang with us so she decided to go up stairs and take a shower and laydown.
So mean wyle my... Continue»
I got an email from a woman asking for sex service. She described as a widow of 34 years age and upon calling her at the number mentioned, she confirmed her email and a meeting were fixed. The address was of Jubilee Hills a very push locality in Hyderabad and I was aware of the kind of women who live there so I was pretty excited. On the day I dressed casually and packing my pocket with 2 packets of condoms I set out for the house. It was fairly simple to find the house. It was a big bungalow with a number of cars parked in the gallery.
The gate keeper telephoned inside and let me inside
Tell us a little about your personality to our readers?
I am very outgoing, love people of all that is jeito.Dona a strong personality, I'm moody and do not take shit from me to casa.Cada has what he deserves ...
Like going out or is it more homey / a?
Adooooro partying, going out, drinking, dançar.Sou the mundoooooo.O you most like to do for fun?
Meeting with friends, I am a beer fan gelada.Então seen huh, I like it Party, people, Bullshit and of course good company.
What city were you born?
It was her who gave her first kiss?
Não.Saí criança.Meus when it was fi... Continue»
Seymour Shaft, disgraced cop turned private detective was trying to open his emails. He was not having much success. He kept hitting the wrong keys and now he had locked himself out with his password protection.
This was all happening because he was finding it hard to concentrate. It’s not easy to work a computer if you are getting blown at the same time.
Seymour’s secretary was one hot bitch and she was also one dirty bitch. One thing she really loved doing was sucking dick. That and sitting on faces. She was having a fun time at that moment, squatting between the detective’s legs, pe... Continue»
She started to cry. Just a little. Bumfelt stood and went to her side.
“I’m sorry…I’m so sorry..” she cried, looking up to him, wiping the tears from her eyes. “I don’t even know why I’m crying. We weren’t close for several months now.”
Bumfelt didn’t know what to say. He wanted to hold her closer. But he had a raging hard-on. She looked so fucking hot. Dressed all in black. Black pencil skirt. Silk blouse. Black nylons and heels. But then she always did look hot. Today, more than ever. Was it wrong for him to have these thoughts now? Fucking dirt-bag. She’d just lost her hus... Continue»
Bumfelt led Fingerdoo from the bar, back to his car, parked in the alleyway. He opened her door. She brushed past him. The slightest touch of a breast on his arm again like earlier in the interrogation room. Bumfelt shut the door, walked around the rear of the car and climbed into his seat.
“Do you think I’m dangerous?” asked Fingerdoo, looking at him with hungry, slightly inebriated eyes.
“Yes,” replied Bumfelt. “Yes I do.”
“Then, why are you here?”
“You like the danger don’t you? You’re drawn to it,” she said, shifting in her seat. Her skirt hitched up. Bumfelt ... Continue»
Friends: Deleted Scenes - Just One More Time
Ross and Rachel cuddled on the couch, one late evening, watching the last part of a classic movie. The door to Monica's bedroom opened and she walked through the otherwise empty apartment, to the bathroom.
"Getting ready for bed, Mon?" Rachel asked.
"Yeah, I'm gonna take a nice hot shower. Y'know, work out the kinks of the day," she said.
Ross' eyes followed her, and saw that she was wearing a silk robe. It was red, with black satin lapels, and matching black trim on the breast and hip pockets. It looked very much like a long feminine ve... Continue»
When this little Duckie went to uni, she had her eyes open to an abundance of cock. Thick, thin, skin on, circumcised, pierced, hairy and most of all the continuous discussion point of big versus small. As I was "new" to the sex scene, it took a while for me to realise that I should not be putting up with a life shattering bad sex. After many experiences of this kind and me thinking that this should be tolerated (it isn't) I now know without hesitation what my answer would be if asked this question: "would you rather have bad sex for the rest of your life, or none at all?" I still have my toys... Continue»
The Booty Inspector pt. 3 by markfayer
“Freaky Felatio Foursome”
Dick and his intrepid Lieutenant, junior, had no sooner arrived at the Barnaby’s Circus Fairgrounds when they spied the performers’ ring of campers set about in a cozy circle, creating a small common open space for the freaks and Acrobats and other members of the Freak Parade.
“Alright, Dick, what’s our plan of Attack?” quipped Junior.
“Well…I figgur we just waltz into the Boxler b*o’s trailer, give them an offer they caint refuse—by which I mean they get to fornicate with our Nubian Amazons-in-tow in a no... Continue»
#1) TRAFFIC JAM
I was 6 hours on the hwy when I rolled up on a traffic jam about an hour out side of Memphis Tn. I was at a complete stop, nothing moving for 30 minutes or longer. people were getting out of there cars, looking around. I rolled my windows down shut off the car and sat there for about 15 minutes. It was so hot I put the windows up and fired up the AC! about that time the lane next to me started moving, about 30 cars passed me, and back to a stop! As I looked over at this little single cab ford ranger with its windows down and two girls in it with ball caps on. The passenger loo... Continue»
It was frosty that morning, the dim sun damply lighting the room, as I stretched a chill descended down my spine and I clenched the covers closer to my body, shivering slightly.
My long, dark curls brushing my shoulders only adding to my frozen tingles.
I lay there in the cold, thinking, and willing the cold to go away, 'I wonder what's for breakfast..?'
As I lay there bunched in blankets there is a bang at the door and it opens, my step b*****r, wearing tight dark jeans and a white shirt gazes at me and laughs.
"It's not that fucking cold!" he cackles and sits at the end of the bed.
I have been married to Pam for twenty years now and we are both happy with each other. We have never had any c***dren. This year Pam turned forty and still looks great. She has dark brown hair which she cuts short in a bob which curves in to the nape of her neck. Pam still has her curves in all the right places as she had the day I married her. Pam can be quite extrovert and has a bubbly personality. She is much more outgoing than me. Pam really enjoys amateur dramatics and is very involved with our local theatre guild; she always has a leading part in their productions and spends quite a lot ... Continue»
The Booty Inspector (part 2) by markfayer
Dick jones woke up with his tail between his legs – literally his schlong was tucked back up underneath his taint and was poking out between his butt-cheeks.
“Where am I?” he groggily queried aloud.
Then he noticed the 2 large feminine figures laying on either side of his naked body.
He was inside what appeared to be a traveling Whore’s-Bedroom-Within-a-Stagecoach.
The women were impressively striking – dark-skinned Nubian Zulu warrior Princesses. 6 ft. 2 inches tall, Long muscular thick bodies, with well-fleshed-out Asses and Thig... Continue»
[Tune in tomorrow evening for Part 2 of THE BOOTY INSPECTOR]
The man walked into the room with a shotgun raised over his head and shouted "Now, ah'm only goanna repeat myself one Mo' time! I want all you men ta' lay down yous'n weapons and all you Womanfolk to drop down yours'n panties and pull on up dem skirts, because I here am the Booty Inpsector and I've come to inspect yours'n booties!"
And so the rise of Fame and Legend was given to the Old West's first and only "Booty Inspector" who hijacked trains and banks only to inspect womenfolk’s' Booties, at gunpoin... Continue»
Friends: Deleted Scenes - Remembering the New Year's After-party
Earlier in the day, Rachel had broken up once and for all with her ex-fiance, Barry. Now at the end of the day, she and Monica sat on the couch. "You Okay?" Monica asked.
"Yeah." Rachel replied, thoughtfully.
"Really?" her roommate pursued, placing her hand on Rachel's arm. Rachel took a sip from her glass of her white wine and set it on the table. "Yeah!" she answered, more confidently, and rested her hand on Monica's leg. "Y'know, ever since I ran out on Barry at the wedding, I have wondered whether I made the right ch... Continue»
Three times decorated for bravery and fifteen times reprimanded for breaking the rules. He was like a real-life Dirty Harry from the Clint Eastwood movies. Bumfelt was an enigma. A man of both conviction and confliction. He was handsome. Rugged. Hot.
Darling slipped a hand over her vulva and gently parted her outer lips. Spreading them open with her manicured fingers. She caressed and rubbed at herself. She made herself wet. It didn't take her long. It never did. When she needed to sl**p and rest, Darling would often turn to masturbation. She knew how to please herself, be it w... Continue»
Halley was walking into her house. It was her birthday and she was finally 18. Her long brown hair was falling around her shoulders. Her step dad, Daniel, was sitting at the table. His name was Daniel, and he had been married to haileys mom for two years.
"Hey baby girl!" Daniel smiled, standing from his seat and opening his arms to give his beautiful step daughter a hug.
"Hi Daniel!" She smiled, wrapping her arms around him, her dress sliding up from the friction between their bodies,
"Happy birthday, you are finally 18!" He beam... Continue»
Friends: Deleted Scenes - The New Year's Eve After-party Party
The New Year's Eve party had ended a short while before, and already all the guests had left, including Ross and Phoebe. Chandler and Joey sat at the kitchen table as Monica cleaned up the apartment.
"This New Year's Eve SUCKED!" Rachel complained as she sat on the couch. Everyone mumbled their agreement as she continued. "I was going to spend a romantic evening with Paolo, making love to him... and the asshole didn't even show up."
"Tell me about it," Monica agreed. "I bought this dress thinking I'd get SOME guy at the pa... Continue»
Meri choot ki aag mere bhai ne bujhayi
Meri choot ki aag mere bhai ne bujhayi
mera naam kiran hai me 35 saal ki saadi suda mahila hoon,me madhy pradesh ke ek chhote se
shahar ki rahne waali hoon ,mere priwaar me, me ,mere pati 42saal,mera beta 12 saal aur beti 15 ki hai,
mere pati job karte hai, unhen 8 saal se dame ki bimaari hai es karan thoda sa bhi saririk kaam karne se
unki saanse ukhadne lagti hai ese karan pichle 8 saalo se me sex ka sukh nahi le paayi aab to sex ki
ikchayen bhi mar si gyi hai ..lekin mera badan aabhi bhi bahut sexy dikhta hai bilkul jaya prada ki tarah
Bumfelt kissed her. Their lips met. Slow and then eager. Bumfelt pulled her close. Put one hand around her slender waist and slid the other across her skirt, down her stocking leg.
“We shouldn’t……we can’t….,” she gasped, pulling her head away from Bumfelt’s. “It’s not appropriate and-“
“No. You’re right,” said Bumfelt, stepping back, running a hand across his two day stubble, glancing away. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m sorry, Roxy. I should-“
“I want to.”
“I want to,” repeated Roxanne softly. “I want to feel a man one last time. I need that. I need you, Eddie... Continue»