Sex Humor Porn Stories
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Lori fucks her massage guy part 1

Hi! Call me Lori, I'm 29 years old, I'm short, about 5' 2". I weigh about 200 pounds, and I have huge 38DD tits. My hair is long and brown, I've got quite a libido, I squirt, and love anal. Make up your own profession for me, it wont detach from the story. My tale begins 4 years ago.

My boss from work got me a gift card for a massage for doing such a great job at work. I asked if there was anyone that he would recommend, and Todd (my boss) said to ask for Tracy. The weekend was coming up, and I wanted to relax after doing whatever it was I did to get a free massage. (See, it's kind o... Continue»
Posted by magichands1971 2 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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TRUTH OR DARE



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Truth or Dare
February 7, 2016 Nerdgasm Stories, Steamy Erotic 1 Comment
TRUTH OR DARE

Matt had the biggest boner of his life. He was sitting in the living room with his friends Andy, Kate, and Stacey, and he was watching Kate give Stacey oral sex.

They’d all gone round to Andy’s place for a drinking session, and after an hour or so and several levels of inebriation, the night had turned into a game of truth or dare. It had started out light enough, with normal boring questions and silly dares, but had eventually turned more adult as the game went on and the drink... Continue»
Posted by hottscott40 2 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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Meeting My Old West Hooker Rachel in College


At one time in our lives we all have met that crazy “quirky” girl who made us laugh and was sexy in a funny way. Well I was fifty-seven and taking some college courses part-time when I met forty- something Rachel. She was a very skinny women and kind of plain in a rustic way, no make-up, granny glasses, but don’t get me wrong she still was a good looking woman. What drew me to her was her eccentric dress. Rachel dressed like an 1880’s old west bar girl, long skirts, high laced boots, cotton blouses and funny striped stockings that women wore in the 1890’s. Like a moth to a flame, I just h... Continue»
Posted by captjim51 2 months ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Jane

June 1977:

It is probably plainly obvious this is 100% true, but just in case:

" The following is 100% true"




I used to work on Broad Street in Birmingham, in a building that is now a Travel Lodge. It was mostly
drinking, sl**ping and shagging that went on there, when it was our office, so it was probably a logical step.

Over the road was a pub, named at various timed the Granville and The Westward Ho, but it is now O'Neills.
This was the place that the staff drank at lunchtimes, and after work.

If you knew the manager it meant you could stay all afternoon, when t... Continue»
Posted by DrVonWankenstein 2 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
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Nicest person with whom you were sexual

Aside from my wife, who is the nicest person I know, I thought it might be fun to recount (and hear our stories) the nicest person I was ever sexual with.

I was in college at the time. It was my senior year. I met a girl at a fraternity party who (for the sake of anonymity) had a name that started with "M". She was 2 years younger than me, and I could tell she was pleasantly plump. By no means obese, but a bigger girl yet with curves in the right places. She was with a girl who had a rare skin disorder in which her pigmentation became very splotchy from the merest exposure to the sun. It wa... Continue»
Posted by ILoveBigBush 2 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Ever have sex with a woman with hair on her ass?

Guys - ever have a girl with hair on her ass?
A couple of years ago I was watching Dr. Oz and a young woman had the courage to admit a condition she had whereby her ass cheeks had hair growing on them. Dr. Oz went on to say that this condition was far more common than anyone in the audience would care to admit and that it was very brave of this lady to come forward. He gave some tips on treating the condition.

At the time, I was reminded of my college days because I was once at a bar and despite the relative darkness I was able to look down the back of a girl's - Natalie was her name - jea... Continue»
Posted by ILoveBigBush 2 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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the Horny Month with Anna and Dave - Part 2 ( 5:00

( before you read this , I just want you to know that you might find some errors in the text , after all ... I'm not a professional )

Anna wake up early on the next day ... she made sure she wear her pretty PJs that reveal her breasts-vine and pants that can easily slide down ... and of course , cute panties and no Bra ! ... the first step was to prepare a tasty meal to win his affection , and even a perfume for when she get close to him ... it was too much work to make everything perfect so early in the morning ... all what is left now is for Dave to wake up ... assuming that the br... Continue»
Posted by NSFW-Dealer 2 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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the Horny Month with Anna and Dave - Part 1 ( the

( before you read this , I just want you to know that you might find some errors in the text , after all ... I'm not a professional )

this is a story about a girl named Anna ... her mother passed away when she was very young , so she never really got the chance to know her ... Anna's Dad work at a huge company that keep him busy all the time ... so out of boredom , she gained interest in Porn through the internet ... at first it was just for fun , but soon after ... porn was the only thing she can think about ... and whenever her Dad isn't home , she would watch tons of sex videos , ... Continue»
Posted by NSFW-Dealer 2 months ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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The Saving Grace of Chatrooms

Have any of you - males of females - ever been on a date that did not result in sexual activity only to go home, get online, and hook up with someone else that very night?

Now that I think about it, it's probably not the rarest thing in the world. In fact, I'm sure many of you have some great stories of rendez-vous that came about from that exact fact pattern.

I certainly have had this happen to me and I'd be glad to share one of my experiences. I went on a blind date with a woman mutual friends set up. I don't even remember this woman's name, but I remember finding her mildly attractive... Continue»
Posted by ILoveBigBush 2 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Sarge revisited!

Given recent events (and the fact that it has been frankly a disgraceful length of time since I’ve blogged) I think it would be a good opportunity to update you all.
Please do not be mistaken in assuming that because I haven’t blogged, I haven’t been ‘playing’, as that it not the case … at all! Also please don’t think that if you were one of those… erm… ‘players’ that you were in anyway ‘unblog-worthy’ because that may not be the case either (… may not).
Unsurprisingly, one of my ‘current’/ongoing visitors is ‘Sarge’ (you might remember him from ‘hands like shovels’). As you well know, 99%... Continue»
Posted by unassumingmistress 3 months ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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How to Fuck a Woman with a Large Ass

For those of you who read my account of my heavenly experience with Kit in 'How to Eat Out a Woman with a Big Ass,' here is an account of the next time we rendez-voused and had intercourse.

To reiterate, Kit was a large, very pretty woman with an especially large ass. She also had extremely bulbous labia majora that completely shrouded her labia minora. It was difficult, but by no means impossible to access her clit and opening with my tongue, but as my previous post revealed, it all worked out - between cunnilingus and 69-ing, I made her cum three times and she lovingly drained my balls wi... Continue»
Posted by ILoveBigBush 3 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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The Basketball Game

My wife and I were all excited our favorite team was playing for the conference title. We got our shirts own with the school logo, school colored sweat pants, fixed our drinks, and turned the tube on. We were not picked to win but had been playing well in the tournament. My wife has a large frame about 5"6" tall, beautiful 36DD tits, 29" waist, and 38" butt. She handles her weight well at 155 lbs., she is very strong. To look at her one would guess her to be 25 lbs. lighter.

The shirt she wearing was one of mine that buttoned in the front. She stretched it across the front with her large t... Continue»
Posted by crabber 3 months ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
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My Naked Cock : A story with Pictures

Call me crazy but I think being able to swing a big cock around the room feels great. Yet in my last relationship my spouse was really only into a naked cock once or twice a week.

I however preferred to be naked as much as possible whilst constantly trying to get her out of her clothes. She had big full breasts and delicious dark nipples. I would give anything fer her to just be naked and constantly touch herself and me as we touch each other. But it was a bit too much. She was very generous and was completely fine with me being naked in and around the house. As long as nobody put their eye... Continue»
Posted by MrFun79 3 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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How to Eat out a Woman with a Big Ass

I was just reflecting on an experience I had in my early 20's. I was lucky enough to bed a nice looking woman around my age named Kit who happened to have a particularly large ass. It was one of those asses where the cheeks were not only wide, but long too. Anyhow, in addition to having a large ass, Kit also had what I would describe as swelled labia majora. Her outer lips were so blubous, they resembled a bell pepper. I was, of course, very interested in eating her out. She, it turned out was not very used to being eaten out - at least not as intently as I planned to do it. Because of the ana... Continue»
Posted by ILoveBigBush 3 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
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Wir Wöllten Nur Reden (We Wanted Only to Talk

People will normally try to avoid going to the post office, but, that little orange sticker that says you missed a package makes it a whole different story. Fortunately, the post office is only a few miles from my house. Unfortunately, the line was almost to the door. I knew I was in for a long wait, so I pulled out my phone, and checked the recent status updates. Looking up every so often to move with the line, I apparently lost track of what was going on, because I heard a familiar voice say, “Reading anything interesting?”

I looked up, into Hannah's radiant blue eyes. I wasn't unhappy to... Continue»
Posted by LickerLicense 3 months ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor  |  
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My First Time In school(Based On A True Story)

I'm not a great story teller but I'll try.

So it was my senior year in High school. Me and my friends just got done taking our senior exams. Being seniors after the exams we got to go home early. But I decided to stay a little and say my goodbye's to all the underclassman etc. I pretty much knew everyone in school. I was also cool with everybody....Except this one bitch, which we'll call Jezebel. I knew her and nearly all my classmates since elementary school. I had beef with many close friends growing up, but we all eventually became cool overtime. But no, not this bitch.... Continue»
Posted by EbonyLust 3 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
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Penetrative Activity

In the wee hours of Saturday morning, just a few nights ago, I woke up with a stiff cock in my cunt . I'd been out partying, and my first thought was that some guy had roofied my drink, taken me home, and was having his way with me. Which I don't mind: if a chick's gonna be out drinking, it's her responsibility to keep and eye on her drinks. I hadn't, so I accepted the hot, in-and-out thrusting by wrapping my arms around his shoulders and back, while raising my legs and drawing them back, so he could invade my supine body even deeper.

I breathed in his intoxicating male scent, and enjoyed h... Continue»
Posted by Stevie_Notnicks 3 months ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
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Huge cumshot: show it off or play it down?

The huge cumshot - is it a source of pride or something to be downplayed? I would think most men (and perhaps most women) would see it as an asset/attraction. However, as a lifelong huge shooter, I kind of went through a strange journey. When I got my first handjob this was the first time I 'came' in front of a woman. Her name was Anna; she was my age and not that experienced but I was not the only guy she stroked off (and saw cum). I was however, the biggest shooter. I had nothing to compare my cumshot to except what I saw in pornos so I thought my ejaculation was 'normal' at the time. We wer... Continue»
Posted by ILoveBigBush 3 months ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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The next day - She got it again on a boat (Part 2)

Memories of a girlfriend from the 80's - The next day

To get the full picture, you should first read "How we met - She got the magic juice (Part 1)"

I made breakfast for both of us in the morning.
I had some shopping to do across the border which was about an hour by car from my home and I offered to drive her home which was about a 10 minutes drive and on my way.
However, she convinced me that we should spent the day together and she would go with me across the border.

We drove by her flat to pick up her passport and I waited in her living room when she went to bed room to change c... Continue»
Posted by drbimmer1965 3 months ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  
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The Artist

1975 London,England,Sally Granger,19,Dark-haired,blue eyes,has recently joined a company that collects rare and unusual art pictures-what many would regard as 'avant garde'-many of them quite 'shocking' to some people - Roger Havers has sold many of these paintings to art galleries all over the world-but there is one artist who has always eluded him -Cedric Winterbottom,the eccentric 70 year old artist from Rustington,west sussex-he has refused to sell a single painting of his beautiful landscapes of the south downs painted back in the 30's-a recent BBC 2 arts programme had made this obscure l... Continue»
Posted by burningbottom 3 months ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  
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