Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 18
A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room.
She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of b*tches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of b*tches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."
The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may pla... Continue»
My buddy Mike and I have been friends since high school, we went to college together and even lived together for a short time while in college. Our apartment became the place people wanted to come to when they wanted to party. We became well known in the town we lived in and we each had our fair share of women. After college we kind of went our separate ways. I moved to another town that was about three hours away while Mike stayed in town. We kept in touch but never really got together to hang out. About three years after I moved I decided to go pay him a visit. After the long trip I a... Continue»
PEEP SHOW PERFORMANCE by Giorgio Canoli
On their way home from dinner George suggested he and Kim stop at a local adult toy store. "How come were making this pit stop"? she asked. He replied, "I noticed your rabbit isn't as fast as he used to be", "the tortoise can actually beat him now". They chuckled as they exited the vehicle.
This wasn't no ordinary porno shop. It was the home depot of erotica. They wandered through each aisle, Kim's pussy started getting moist and she could see George's cock growing through his pants. Kim quipped "Be careful with that loaded gun in your poc... Continue»
MILE HIGH by Giorgio Canoli
As Tammy was putting her carry on in the over head compartment she struggled and fumbled. From the corner of her eye came two olive skinned and chiseled forearms. As her eyes followed his arms up to the head she ogled his features as he successfully fit the bag into the compartment. "Thank you very much. That was sweet of you" she said with imaginary hearts floating above her. The good looking stranger replied "No problem at all. That's my superhero power, I help pretty women in trouble" and gave her a wink. Just then the overhead announcement called for the ... Continue»
Trevor woke the next morning feeling invigorated. The previous days escapades had put a spring in his step, several in fact. As he descended the stairs to the kitchen below he couldn't help but whistle a jaunty tune.
Good morning f****y! He said bursting into the kitchen.
Well someone seems happy this morning! Ellen said, before taking a swig of coffee.
You are correct Mother dear, I have never felt better in all my days! Trevor said with a grin
so what are you gonna do today b*o? Jack asked.
Why don't you come to work with me son, they've all been asking about you? Carl said.
Vic lay on his bed, stretched out on his side, naked, his hard, throbbing cock in his hand. As he stroked himself harder and harder, faster and faster, his breathing growing hoarse and ragged, his gaze was locked inexorably upon the centerfold of the magazine before him.
Her name, according to the XXX magazine at any rate, was Honie and, despite the unusual spelling, Vic certainly thought that she was. Her body was lean and trim, smooth and petite, hairless and just lightly tanned. Her nipples were hard as she smiled coyly for the unimaginably lucky photographer who'd been privileged enough... Continue»
See the photos that go with this story at “Carole’s hairy cunt and the massage”
Since being with Keith (my husband) most of my sexual encounters have been with him in attendance and indeed filming the action or joining in.
However, some have occurred without him being there and Keith tolerates this as long as I tell him all the graphic details later and I let him act out the encounter afterwards. So a win, win for me!
One such occasion occurred a few years ago when we were at Cap d’Agde the French naturist resort.
I had suggested that I’d like a massage whilst we were on holiday a... Continue»
I have always been a very horny guy. My wife on the other hand is fairly reserved, although she loves getting her pussy licked and really gets into it once she is hot. I have always been a little kinky and kept pushing my wife to be more ad.
Last month I finally talked her into going to an adult bookstore with me in Louisville. She had never been to one and was embarrassed but i finally convinced her to try it.
We arrived at the bookstore and began to look at the video's and toys. There were a couple of young guys in there and they were eyeing my wife. She got embarrassed and said she wa... Continue»
i believe in traditional ways as well as exploring sexuality with women who dont fit into a mold or model, but are willing or desiring to let loose that inner woman.
I enjoy intimacy with a woman and not just sex. I take married women, but only after a she reveals how long its been since shes had sex. it says she wants a lover and id rather be that one, and not some tool who would use her as a piece of meat.
Some women say they get sex 1x week or 1x month for 10 min by king of queens type guys, who were great at first but now dont like their hairiness, giving them oral, or if they gain ... Continue»
FUCKING: two or more people engaging in sex, without having any meaning
Fuck in its literal meaning refers to the act of sexual intercourse. It is an English word that is almost universally considered vulgar. It is often used as a profanity, either to denote disdain or as an intensifier
SLUT: Something I like to be....a term applied to an individual who is considered to have loose sexual morals
WHORE: Something I'm not, but to some people I am...a prostitute or promiscuous woman
I do not take money for sex, but sometimes I wonder if I should...I'd love to have my own place, so t... Continue»
Couldn't believe my luck tonight....after a long day of masturbating, and flirting or sexting with random women on either Facebook, xHamster, or Yahoo, I went to my local liquor store to pick up some rum and Coke at 10 o'clock tonight....it's in a strip mall, and as I was winding my way through the convoluted parking lot to get to the liquor store at the end of the complex, I passed a petite white girl, looked to be in her mid-20's. It's cold here this time of year, so I couldn't see a whole lot of her figure, but I could tell she had some curves under her peacoat and faded jeans. I only caugh... Continue»
Chapter 14: Epilog - The Enchantress
Several days later, the Enchantress learned of her fate. The all-father had summoned her to his great hall to pronounce sentence upon her. She arrived at the appointed time, and stood outside before two of the guardsmen, before entering. They said nothing, but seemed to have a smirk upon their faces, as they held the great oaken door open for her. The Enchantress glared at them but did nothing else. She could not afford any type of incident, today of all days.
As she entered the hall, she saw the all-father gathered in close conference with sev... Continue»
Chapter 15: Epilog - Washington
The cigarette smoking man smiled as he drove to work at the Pentagon on Monday morning. All in all, it had been a very good week for him. Although he couldn't be there to see the shit hit the fan in person, he had a very good idea of what had happened recently on the Island in the Bahamas. The intelligence satellites and the information systems at the Pentagon could keep track of just about anything on the globe, after all. Not many people on the planet had known about the starship that was recently in orbit about the earth, but his agency was one of the... Continue»
If you are a nice guy then you are a Renaissance Man.
Never put yourself down as average or guy next door.
Nothing wrong with being a nice guy.
You can role play, but inside women will sense a player vs a man.
Women who do play or desire sex here are not sluts despite what they may post.
That is just a label...they are still women inside.
Just as not all who are on here are perverts, but mostly real men and women who either find it an escape or way to hook up and satisfy their needs.
If a woman is f***ed into a sex role by her man then be aware it might not be the fantasy it a... Continue»
Chapter 17: Conflict
Dee Dee and Ebony strolled through the corridors of the Island on their way back to Dee
Dee's lab. "I figure since the company has a web-server, we can order the new door and the parts we need now, and we'll get those in a few days," said Dee Dee. She stopped at the door to the lab and keyed in the entry code. The door stayed locked. "What the heck? I know I haven't changed the codes recently. So much stuff has been happening, I've forgotten to do it
Dee Dee carefully punched in the five-digit code again, taking her time not to mistype a
key. T... Continue»
Chapter 18: Run For Your Life
Barocca ran from Dee Dee's lab with all of the speed she could muster. She didn't know if she should try to make it to where her girls were staying on the other side of the Island in one sprint. Or if she should try short dashes, and lessen the time she was exposed in the hallways to the other girls.
Then Barocca decided upon a course of action for the short term. "I'll duck into the first
set of quarters that I can find. Then I'll call the other girls on the cellular phone, and tell them to be ready for me. I can use a short rest, and it'll make it... Continue»
Chapter 16: Rebellion
After leaving the temporary quarters with Rhiannon, Barocca had met Jeanne in the hallways, as they both headed towards Dee Dee's lab. They were just about to turn the corner to Dee Dee's lab, when they heard a door opening.
"Hold it, Jeanne. Someone's coming." The two girls stayed out of view, until the door had closed again. Barocca stuck her head out, and cautiously peered down the corridor. She watched Dee Dee disappear in the opposite direction.
"It's Dee Dee. Looks like no one's getting much sl**p tonight. I don't know where she's
going, but now ... Continue»
Chapter 3: Accusations
Jordan and Jeanne had just finished their session in the Milking devices. Because of the extra help that Dee Dee had given Jordan's balls, Jordan was the clear winner in this event. Both Barocca and Jeanne had finished viciously insulting and accusing Dee Dee and Tiffany of cheating of some sort.
At this point, Rhiannon and the Vectran girls entered the auditorium from the side. Rhiannon decided to make a bold entrance, and called out, "Well, well! Is this a private party, or can anyone join in?"
Everyone in the auditorium turned to face the new arrivals. ... Continue»
Chapter 24: The Vectrans Arrive - Part 2 (Or: Now You See It, Now You Don't )
The next day, the landing party beamed down to the Bahamas successfully, and they managed to mingle with the population without incident for the most part. To the rest of the townspeople, they appeared to be six other women who were on vacation, and they paid them no undue attention. Unfortunately, along with not being noticed by the locals, the six Vectrans had spent several days on the Islands, with very little success to report so far. The girls gathered together at a fast food restaurant for lunch one afte... Continue»
Chapter 21: The Vectrans Arrive (I Knew We Should've Taken That Left Turn at Albuquerque)
The starship Delphi 4 pulled into orbit around the earth. Long before the starship had come within range of any detection devices on earth, the Vectrans had activated a cloaking device for the ship.
"Cloaking device activated, Commander," said Rayleena. "We're now in orbit about the planet. They'll never know that we're up here, unless something should happen to hit us, and our sensors are too sophisticated for that to happen."
"Very good, Rayleena," Rhiannon replied. "All right. Rayleena, ... Continue»