Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 111
"You've got to be k**ding!" I shouted out loud.
"Whoever thought to name a town that, must have had a huge hairy pussy fetish!"
"WELCOME TO BIG BEAVER PA." The sign said.
I had almost arrived at my new home in Pleasant Town Pa. population 55,000.*
There was no way I could concentrate on my language learning tapes now, not when I was this close to my destination.
Plus my mind was wandering too much anyway. Seeing that "Big Beaver" sign reminded me of my old college days.
Up near Albany NY there's a town everyone refers to ... Continue»
ok so back in 05 i made a myspace. didnt know what it was or how to use it but all my friends had 1 so i wanted one to. i had it for about a month or 2, and girls just seemed 2 love me on there. another month goes by and thats when i figured out how easy it was 2 hook up with girls on myspace, if u had the right kinda game. so i send a friend request to a local model/singer(most girls on myspace are) and she accepted it and sent me a message before i could even try and spit my game at her. she was 5'11 127lbs with long black hair. she didnt have to much of an ass but the most perfect brea... Continue»
ok so my team makes it to a basketball tournament in humbotlt california, i think i was about 16 or 17 then. i never heard of that city before, but everyone was telling me its very boring, and old fashioned up there. there is nothing to do but smoke weed. i wasn't looking forward to it but i still wanted to win the whole tournament at all costs. when my team arrives to the the city, it was just how everyone said. the small town was so much in the woods there was only 1 hotel. since it was a 25 team tournament it was filled. so a lot of teams stayed with families that had the biggest house... Continue»
Going back home and seeing Gail was an inspiration. But it also made me realize how much I missed getting boned by my old male partner Hank. Or how much I wanted Gail to shove one of her toys up my own ass. Once I discovered that they really weren't metal spikes that is.
After returning to New England I knew what I had to do. The Adult Bookstore was way outside of town in a fuckin' Industrial Park. What the hell it was doing out there I have no clue. Maybe they're putting fork lift motors in vibrators or something, for all I know. At any rate I found the place.
On a beautiful spring day in Ireland, a priest is walking down a country road when he sees Mary Katherine, a beautiful lass he's known since he baptized her as a babe at his church, walking in the opposite direction, crying hysterically.
"Mary Katherine, my darling c***d, what ever can be wrong on such a lovely day?" the priest asks.
"Ohhh, Father... I'm so sad... My husband..." sobs Mary Katherine. "My husband died last night at home..."
"Ohhh, Mary Katherine, I'm terribly sorry for your loss... Tell me, c***d, did he have any last ... Continue»
a few years ago i was a sophmore in college and i was kind of struggling to get used to the whole college life and stuff. I havnt had any long term relationships, as a matter of fact ive never had one more than a couple of weeks. that semester i said to myself "im gonna change this and get something going"; around that time i noticed a girl, she was my swimming proffesor and was only a year older than me.
this girl was probably the most beautiful girl i have ever seen ( in all honesty she really is) she had shoulder length black hair that had a very unique glossy texture. s... Continue»
It was just another normal early winters weekend, I was 19 at the time. I think it was around early November. THe dark nights had really drawn in now and it was one of those miserable Friday afternoons. I was driving home from work and thinking about the weekend ahead. Sould I go out tonight I thought, maybe I will go out for a few beers. Anyway I got home about 5pm and cracked open a beer and sat in front of the Tv.
My mum was cooking in the kitchen and my Dad was in his office, then I heard my s****r coming in, i heard the chatter of girls. SHe was with a friend of hers and they were... Continue»
I was back in my old neighborhood and totally in "straight" mode. The last thing I wanted my folks knowing was that their one and only likes to wear a dress every now and then. BAD IDEA! When I stopped by the Circle K for a few things I was even happier to be looking "normal."
There she was, looking a little heavier since the last time we spoke. For Gail that was a good thing since she was just a pound over being considered anorexic in high school.
She was quite a departure for me. Most of my gal friends were usually a few pounds of short of being mistaken fo... Continue»
On a deserted Isle for f******n years
I thought I cried out all my tears
When from the surf one Monday morn
Came forth a beauteous female form
She wore a skin-tight diving suit
That touched where it fit from neck to boot
She walked toward me head held high
Her hand on the knife she wore on her thigh
“Tell me how long have you been here?”
She asked me, I answered trembling in fear
“f******n years, I’ve been here on my own
Starving reducing to just skin and bone.”
“Tell me how long since you had a smoke?”
She asked me “f******... Continue»
My husband and I had gone on this trip to get away from our jobs, the k**s, and everything else that seemed to have us burned out. We stayed at this really nice hotel and we fucked like teenagers. My husband fucked me every chance he got. We went to this party at a big house, it had several levels and decks. We were mingling and drinking. I had a really good buzz going when my husband and I stumbled on a secluded hot tub. There was a guy already in the tub, we thought that if we started making out he would get out and go away. We started making out and getting very involved. I decided that I w... Continue»
I stared at an empty computer screen. It was hard to get back to work after a wild weekend like that. That was the wildest time I'd had since my ultra horny college days.
Back then they had just super charged my balls. My doctor discovered my scrotum needed to be untwisted. After that it was like having a second puberty. I thought I had a big erection before then. Plus I would soon discover an extra bonus.
My first girl friend in college didn't have much going for her in the face department. In fact she may have been the ugliest girl on campus. But "Irish" ma... Continue»
With a Sunday afternoon unexpectedly free – many thanks to Richard’s rabble of students, to a man seemingly unable to cope with the dual pressures of actually doing work and handing it in on time, leaving Richard with piles of marking to do – I decided to hit the bookshops. Sounds sad, I know, but I find little to compare with the simple pleasure afforded by wrapping myself in a good book! Internet sites are all terribly convenient, but for me book shopping should be a tactile, sensual experience. I need to pick up and flick through fifty books before I decide. Thus, opting f... Continue»
Tuesday; the morning after the lunch before. I’m still tingling from my encounter with my boyfriend’s son, but thankfully it’s balanced by the headache that the same encounter also left me with. What I really needed was a nice quiet day at work, I had a hundred simple tasks that I could do that would take my mind off everything. The last thing I needed was to get an email from Ben.
It said simply this:
Log into the instant chat messenger.
Not even signed. I knew it was from him of course, not least because his name appeared in the sender column, but it was also recog... Continue»
Kitchen looking like the morning after Glastonbury; check. Clothes strewn over chair in corner of bedroom; check. Caitlin wearing expensive perfume and even more expensive underwear, which remains indecently undisturbed; check. Caitlin wearing expression displaying equal parts sexual frustration and annoyance whilst staring into darkness; check. The clincher – is there medium tending towards heavy snuffling/snoring from somewhere to my right? Of course there is. Once all the above boxes have been ticked, the conclusion can only be that Richard is spending the night.
At first I was qui... Continue»
The Red Dragon is, I suppose, my local, in that it’s the closest pub to my house. Saying that it’s not actually terribly close, being about a fifteen-minute walk away, and I didn’t frequent it a great deal. Richard loved the place though, being equidistant from his house in the opposite direction, and hence we spent a few Sunday lunches there followed by a walk back to his house. I wasn’t all that keen on eating there, what with owning my own restaurant anyway, and I always felt a little put out that Richard knew all the other patrons so well, whilst I often felt like a... Continue»
Caitlin’s log: Sunday, 10 a.m. I’m lying in bed with a terrible, nagging ache. You’d be forgiven for thinking I’d gone ten rounds with a Cabernet Sauvignon, but you’d be wrong. The ache was spiritual rather than physical, the apocalyptic realisation that for the third night running I’d lain awake for hours before falling asl**p, contemplating all manner of things related to re-igniting my sex life. See? That’s what I keep doing, dressing the issue up in euphemisms – “re-igniting my sex life”, “putting the excitement back into my... Continue»
This is a true story. I was once involved with a woman who had an on-again, off-again boyfriend. He was an alcoholic, and kind of a lout. At one point they even got engaged, even though he sometimes hit her. Eventually she broke that off, but even while she was 'with' him she kept having sex with me. It wasn't about romance, just sex and friendship.
Anyway, one day we were on her bed: she was wearing a sexy bra and panty set, which was kind of getting in the way, because she was on top of me, and we were in the "69" position, with me holding the panties to one s... Continue»
(Author's note: this is an early version of a much longer erotic novel. It's been through a lot of edits, but I really like some of the early versions that got canned. I hope you don't mind me reproducing them here. Of all the stories I've written - which is a lot! - Caitlin is one of my favourite creations, and I'm always looking to giver her greater exposure, as are the men (and women) in her life! You can follow her continued adventures in the different versions of the story called "Strange Relationship")
Standing at the bar, sipping a iced die... Continue»
1:05PM on April 28, 2008
... Ever had a panty job ?
...you know .. kinda like an upgraded dry hump ?
..It's wear you get your partner to drop their pants / dress .. they lay on their stomach on a bed, couch or chair while you grind and rub your cock into the crack of their ass until you get off.
I know a lot of you reading this post are like ... why not just stuff you cock into the offending orifice and be done with it ?
Answer: Because that shit is boring and lacks imagination. Plus a panty job can be steamy and hot leading to intense sexxual encounters l... Continue»
It's the thirty first century and I'm a cop who just completed an assignment. Me and my parner busted some d**g kingpin importing d**gs from another planet making a killing. The d**g was similar to cocaine but only stronger and the both of us came and closed up shop permanently. Afterwards I went straight home and took a long warm shower. I stood there and let the water come crashing down my body feeling all the tension float away after a long day of catching the bad guys and kicking ass. ... Continue»