Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 110

Marcus

What happened was this!

Alana Wicks was a divorcee in her late thirties. She’d travelled the distance from trophy wife to yummy mummy through to beautifully groomed, well toned divorcee: and a thoroughly bored one at that. She was a tall, very good looking woman with a terrific figure – the gym and swimming saw to that, a mane of wavy blonde hair topped a very attractive picture. Her daughter Zoe was very much like her mother in appearance, but, to put it bluntly, rather dim! She had met Marcus at a disco in town. And she’d had sex with him within an hour of meeting h... Continue»
Posted by Whispa 4 years ago  |  Categories: Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 30

VULGAR LANGAUGE

see the thing about me is im an outgoing type of guy .I like to experince new things every now and again just like any average guy or woman for that fact.So when i tell you about this story there will be vulgar language it started when i was about 23 i had met this freak by the name of bianca she was slick wit it in the bed she liked things like sex in the kitchen, anal in the bathtub , dick sucking in public like parks or in vacant lots, true freak.Although i enjoyed her presents it was just that she did very irrtating shit (things i will not go into) but let me tell youthis every body has th... Continue»
Posted by dblac2 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 995  |  
47%
  |  1

inside of her pt4

i replied to my mom that i was trying to get back to the bathroom to grab my towel, she looked at me like i was lying to her , she asked why i had not been to work? and why didnt i answer when she sent the police over? i was baffled i didnt know what to say every thing that had been going on flashed before my eyes when she was asking me these things. i finally replied i didnt know i told her that i had not been filling to well so i had to call off , for a month she replied SHE YELLED LETS GO! YOURE GOING TO THE HOSPITAL!!i argued with her for bout a solid hour and finally conveinced her that ... Continue»
Posted by dblac2 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1741  |  
77%
  |  2

1night

going out to the bar was something i didnt do often. I usually was a more reserved type of guy .So on this night i dont know what lead me to a strip bar but there i was with a facefull of tittys and ass and throwing back shots of henny when suddenly i was approached by this beatiful woman by the name of red you see this woman was not any ordainary woman this woman knew what she wanted and knew what she liked she was a freak im talking the true def.....of nasty, sheliked objects in her ass she liked to be slapped and called a stank nasty cunt she was really into shit like that and it turned me ... Continue»
Posted by dblac2 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 810  |  
73%
  |  2

[b]The Sticky Dance Floor[/b]

Damn, I hated the noise. No matter where you went, it was the same. Somehow, the deejays around the world must have all gone to the same identical music store. There, they learned to turn the volume up until it hurt and loudspeakers only produced distortion.

Even here at the bar, it was near impossible to hear the barmaid. She showed me four fingers, meaning four dollars for my beer. I wondered what sign she would make for five dollars and seventy-five cents? She was a beautiful woman with reddish hair and a little bit shorter than me. Maybe five foot six. Like most barmaids, she was dresse... Continue»
Posted by vstein 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 792  |  
88%
  |  1

inside of her pt3

there bodies were drapped in a golden hue they had tattos of other woman on there bodies the images were almost alive like they could reach out and touch you see this i payed no attention to the first time because lights were off and my mind was feeled with such sexual passion that i did nt notice these things but when it came to the light i def... notice that they were different you see these were woman of the rain , of water meaning that there non existing but they are because ,i can see them ,i can smell them ,and i sure as hell can feel them so call it what you will .My Golden Godess "... Continue»
Posted by dblac2 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 239  |  
100%
  |  2

Last night

Last night I found my mark. The person who I was taking home with me and fucking all night long. I love a challenge and am most often successful. Luckily tonight, it's a woman. I've had too much dick this week and have been dying to taste some pussy. Standing at the end of the bar in a dress, I found out later that she made, was "D." She had several visible tattoes, long white legs, and the most plump bottom lip I almost instantly sucked. It didn't take long to get her into the bathroom. Needed some more information before I wasted my time; like can she use that bottom... Continue»
Posted by biblonde30 4 years ago  |  Categories: Lesbian Sex, Sex Humor  |  Views: 495  |  
84%
  |  2

The xHamster Experience

Being on xHamster for 408 days doesn’t make me a porn king or Ron Jeremy but i’m on here long enough to know that this is one to remember.

I recently realized that if i log on every day i would end up with alot of favourite video’s and photo’s. At this moment its one sexual energy explosion in my head and i can’t stop clicking on “add to favourite video’s” or “add to favourite whatever” for that matter.

Many people would categorize me as just one of the million horny “pull out my dick” kind of guy but i would beg to... Continue»
Posted by birkoffguy 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 355  |  
70%
  |  2

Now it's my turn

The light fog added a moisture to the air. The coolness of the night wrapped around her like a wet towel, sending a shiver up her spine. She was lucky she knew the area so well, or she could have easily become lost. She looked through the trees at the house where he lived, slightly smiling at the one electric candle burning in the kitchen window.

Little did he know that the candle provided a signal for her. He, in his excitement, meant the signal for another. Just the thought of what she had planned had her so excited that she could barely control her movements. She was wet down to mid-thig... Continue»
Posted by faheem1986 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 749  |  
100%
  |  7

hot wife exppp

I've always been a very sexual person. My husband realized this and since then has encouraged me to continue to have fun as along as I let him know what I'm doing and even let him watch (smile) if he's around. I was very reluctant at first because I felt I was happy with my sex life.

One day when we were coming home from a friends wedding and staying over night in a hotel, we struck up a conversation in the hotel bar with a salesman, who happened to sell wine, yum. The guy seemed nice enough and was very funny. He was a much older man though, probably in his early 50s, a bit ... Continue»
Posted by helpme010 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 2793  |  
97%
  |  7

Urgent

She reaches around and tugs him out of his boxers.
“Uh, Crowley’s Books… do you, what are ah… excuse me… what…”
“Really!” She wraps one leg around. “I used to work there. I was a leftover for a while, you know, a call-in? Fucking Simon, wanted to fucking castrate him sometimes. Does Barak still work there?”
And he’s unable to follow her words, following her smile, and strange figures emerge from her lips, a lipstick formed from the bl**d of saints and martyrs to her causes and it’s coming loose of her lip... Continue»
Posted by oluckyman 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 282  |  
67%
  |  2

Bank Job

My job working for a temp agency was a lot of fun while I had it. I was
just out of college and looking for work in the film industry, and needed a
way to get myself food and shelter--a couple of luxuries I had grown
accustomed to over the years. The temp job was good for a guy in my
position--I often could pick my own hours, it never got boring (as I rarely
stayed at any one place more than a couple of weeks) and it paid pretty well,
especially since I usually got the higher paying word processing jobs. I
knew my way around computers and could do more with word processing programs
... Continue»
Posted by faheem1986 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 252  |  
97%
  |  1

Calm down,its only a penis!

The noise didn't fit! Arriving home I entered our house and stopped to listen. The sound of the woman was familiar yet wrong. What I mean is, the orgasm sounds was that of my wife,but it was accompanied by sobs yet not distressing sobs. - "You fucking shit,your cums right up inside me you idiot!"

Now that was my wife in orgasm,but the sob bit was out of place! - Do I charge in and destroy the cock that was in her? - Who is in her? I am inclined to always ascertain what's going on before - metaphorically speaking - killing the person found to be at fault. At the same tim... Continue»
Posted by faheem1986 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 2866  |  
72%
  |  4

inside of her pt2

as i mentioned befor i was puzzled were could they havewent? i thought to myself as i continued on with the day one of my coworkersasked meif every thing was o kay i replied yes,i just had a wildnight she smerkedand said i hope it was 1 to remeber i replied it sure was one i wont forget it for a while and smiled back soas the day progressed it was time to go home and basically follow same routine but the night had come and gone i didnt think i would ever have that encounter again when suddenly she appeared and things were just as before it was a rather stormy night but not to bad there were n... Continue»
Posted by dblac2 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 455  |  
100%
  |  2

Eurotica 20: The beach, the sun – the cave?

I wrote this for a ladyfriend whom I went on to have a wild weekend with - ish!
After reading it, she claimed to have rushed to her nearest pub, picked up a man and then fucked his brains out! See what you think!

The sand was so white and pebble-free it could have been snow, but for the intense heat from the cloudless blue sky.
The Mediterranean Sea was crystal clear, very warm and very welcoming.
Mandy marvelled at the view, she was a week into her holiday with her partner and her tan was starting to brown away the sore red burns.
She sat her small frame up on the sun-lounger, i... Continue»
Posted by nickyb1968 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  Views: 1319  |  
100%
  |  2

Walk in the woods

I was taking a walk one spring evening in the hills behind my house. When I rounded a bend, a strange sight suddenly confronted me: a man in bright colored clothing was coming towards me. When he saw me, he made an exaggerated stop and promptly walked up to me and pulled a flower from behind my ear. He gave it to me with an elaborate bow, then beckoned me to follow him. By now, this strange clown had caught my interest, so I was more than willing to follow him. I have been fascinated by clowns since I was a k**, and this one wasn’t bad to look at either.

He led me to a wooded, seclude... Continue»
Posted by X_PAC6969 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 619  |  
82%
  |  8

Eurotica 14: First day of the holiday

One of many tales I wrote - with many more to come if I get feedback!

Eurotica 14: First day of the holiday


Lorna was sitting back on her plastic chair and looking up, there was barely a cloud to be seen in the sky and a distant jet plane broke the blue void.
She was sat on the top balcony of the holiday apartment, the sun was high in the midday sky and the heat was entering every pore.
She was a redhead and her pale skin could suffer in that climate, it was for the best not to overdo it on the first day of the holiday. Why be in pain for the rest of it?
She put her sunglasses b... Continue»
Posted by nickyb1968 4 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 326  |  
76%
  |  2

What Cums Around

"No officer I'm not smuggling i*****ls, my girl friend's giving me head in
the car, OK? We have a law against cell phones and texting but there's nothing
that says you can't get blown while driving, right?!"
************************************************************************
Every time I fly into Tucson, the airport gets longer and longer.
It doesn't help no matter what airline I use they always wind up
at the gate furthest from baggage claim.

It's just as well Tommy didn't fly with me to Tucson. That would
be a little hard to expla... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 583  |  
40%

in mywildest dreams

now this is some shit thats hrd to belive
never could i ever imagined what was going to happen to me
as i lay therelost in a dream filled with differentwoman in front of me
somewere black somewere whitethe majority looked like white but as i stared getting to know each one it was clearthat race didnt really appear wellat least 2 me it didnt becausetheonlything i saw were nice shaped bodys notthe way u would think...but niced shaped in a way that appealed...to me...
the roundest of tits the thickness in there assess and legs u see i like that shit it turns me on callme different call mewron... Continue»
Posted by dblac2 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Fetish, Sex Humor  |  Views: 638  |  
57%
  |  3

A Very Painful Visit To Mistress V

Friday 5th September 2003 - I'm off on a long weekend. I'm sat on a train and my eventual destination is East Croydon though I will have to change at Haslemere.
I have arranged to meet and have a drink with a certain Mistress V with regards to my suitability to become her sub – it's only a preliminary meeting and I haven't brought along my favourite plastic beach shoe or garden cane.
For some reason I recall a paragraph I once read many years ago in a book about sexual perversion something along the lines that: The whip cracking, leather clad, fierce, obedience seek... Continue»
Posted by Ima_Kant 4 years ago  |  Categories: BDSM, Sex Humor  |  Views: 443  |  
57%
  |  1