Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 110

The Audition 3

The Audition Part 3

Davey The Bear.

As both video and photo cams moved in for a close up I put my face close to Dennis' big boner. I picked it up and said "Watch
this everybody!"

We were now ready for my hot blow job scene which is exactly what I gave them.

All Dennis had to do was sit there and groan with pleasure.

********************************************************************************

Show time at last!

The camera was rolling and my screen test had begun.

I pulled up my skirt and drove my big lady stick deep into Dennis' hairy as... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  Views: 580  |  
97%
  |  1

Most Excellent (but somehow ever more paranoid) XH

I promised you our own story when we met here through profiles on XHamster. A funny thing happened, worth sharing with readers here, and, this is our story.

Adventuring began easily, the XHamster way, finding profiles, posting comments, messaging about one another commenting on profiles. Cyber sexing is the second reason after video viewing everyone hopes for when we connected here. You were so into the intensity of our exchanges that I easily ignored the long gaps in time for your side of the messages to come across the internet. Maybe a more paranoid person would have t... Continue»
Posted by latch 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 9311  |  
83%
  |  4

Me and My Cock(True).

Ive had loads of wanks in my life,infact,if wanks were pound notes,I'd be a fucking millionaire by now.
some were horny as fuck,others were over in a flash and some were just plain funny.
Like the time I went to the garden shed with the latest copy of play boy magazine.
I was going at it like hammer and tongs when I rested my arm on a shelf to try and get a better position for the vinegar strokes when crash...
the brackets gave way down came the shelf,followed by tins of paint and all sorts of other crap I lost my balance,fell to the floor and landed in a puddle of red paint.You think... Continue»
Posted by blueeyes57 4 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1024  |  
98%
  |  5

The Audition 2

The Audition Part 2 "Ready Jane"


"Pull down your panties and set them beside you on the floor." Bella ordered

She then had me stand by the biggest of the two beds where she unbuttoned the top part of my dress. Bella fixed it so you could see my bra but not enough
so you could tell my breasts were fake. Next she hoisted up the bottom of the dress so my penis was visable. With all this touching going on from such a pretty lady it was already getting longer and harder by the millisecond.

***********************************************************************... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  Views: 352  |  
93%
  |  2

Late Night Eggroll Delivery

I'm feeling pretty good today. An old friend of mine stopped by last night and we slept together. Susan is a gorgeous 38 year old redhead with a luscious body and a pair of really big breasts. When she gets excited, which is pretty much all the time, her nipples swell hugely. I swear that they become an inch long and they're very thick too. I just love to suck on them. Her clitoris swells hugely too and it is heaven to suck it into your mouth.

Susan and I didn't get to bed (sl**p) until pretty early this morning because we were in this 69 for two or three hours last night. I... Continue»
Posted by sparky1721 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  Views: 668  |  
70%
  |  4

The Audition Part One

And so began my screening interview and my first adventure into the world of adult films. Once I got past all the legal bullshit the questions were kind of fun to answer.

Had I ever had gay sex before?

"Everyone in the room seemed gay and happy about what I was doing to them at the time."

********************************************************************************

There was a guest speaker for the monthly meeting of the Pleasant Town Trans-gender League. This guy was so full of shit it wasn't funny. He supposedly represented someone wanting to do a documentary... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  Views: 708  |  
80%
  |  1

A husbands secret

One night on my way home from a meeting I pulled into a local beauty spot, very shortly after I had arrived a sports car pulled up along side me, I looked across and saw a young couple who started kissing and stripping each other off, seemingly oblivious to the fact that I was sitting watching their every move.
As I watched the front seats went back and the guy put his head between the girls legs, she moved forward in her seat and spread her legs then looked over at me and smiled, put her hands into her bra and released a perfect pair of mammoth tits which she stretched to the sky by pulling... Continue»
Posted by zero66 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1269  |  
65%
  |  2

random sexy questions to ask yourself

-if you could have any piece of medical equiptment what would it be? who would you use it on? and what would you do to them?
-what part of the body (other than penis vagina breasts etc) turns you on most when touched?
-what part of the body (including penis vagina breasts etc) turns you on most when touched?
-what object do you use (if any) to masturbate?
-where is the weirdest place you have ever had sex?
-how many times (be honest) have you had sex?
-if straight have you ever had a homosexual experience?
-who is your favourite person to fantasise about?
-who did you lose your virgini... Continue»
Posted by eskimokissesxx 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  Views: 369  |  
98%
  |  3

"Gill"

We left the relative shade of the peristyle garden with its white marble fountain depicting Venus a ewer hoisted on her shoulder. The trickling figure stood in the centre of a shallow square pool, surrounded by smooth flag stones and then by a grassed border skirting up to a colonnaded cloister that hemmed the garden in, providing a screen to the outside world.

I took her small hand in mine to lead her away from the site of our tryst, to the coolness of the house I had had built in a Roman style.

She hesitated as if frightened by the sudden change of light. A gently guiding hand at the s... Continue»
Posted by fotoplace 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, BDSM, Sex Humor  |  Views: 205  |  
84%

"A Day In A Life"

Bill had left for work an hour earlier. His last action before shutting the door was a perfunctory kiss on her cheek as he hurried out the door, his mind already occupied on the day's events. Again, he had missed the significance of her squeeze on his upper arm; again he missed entirely, the questioning look she gave his retreating back.

"Jay; get up, you're going to be late." Jean shouted at the top of her voice over the edge of the banister. Jamie was a typical angst ridden teenage young man, lazy and disinclined to venture out of bed before the last minute, or he had ... Continue»
Posted by fotoplace 4 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 771  |  
90%
  |  2

The Cross Dresser and The Big Fat Fuck

As soon as the door closed to her place Debbie started squeezing me tight. Before I knew it I was the one with my dress around my ankles. Soon I was being pulled down the hall to Debbie's bedroom. While I sat on her bed, Debbie went in her bathroom to freshen up.

When she came out she was wearing a sexy red night gown. If it weren't for the fact it was a size 6X you might have thought Debbie bought the thing at Victoria's Secret.

********************************************************************************

Debbie was one big fat fuck of a woman. I used to sa... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 656  |  
79%
  |  2

My addiction to DD

I'm usually up all night long and I do tend to fill up on Dunkin Donuts coffee. You have to understand that I LOVE this coffee, there is none better. You can take your starsmucks swill and try to choke it down. The gourmet coffees and all the crazy flavored crap isnt for me. I love just plain old coffee in its orig form. The warm fuzzy feeling I get when the first mouthfull of DD goes down is likened to what a crackhead must feel when he takes his first hit off the crackpipe. The only difference is in 6 months im not going to look like Nick Nolte on a good hair day. Its to the point that ... Continue»
Posted by vulkanfiber 4 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor, Taboo  |  Views: 3340  |  
57%
  |  20

Four Best Things In The World

This isn't a story and I don't see a catagory for it but I have a question for all of you out there: If you had to choose FOUR (4)things that are the most beautiful to you in this world what would it be? This excludes f****y, Lovers,etc, those area given. Just to your eyes what are 4 beautiful things...
FOR ME: 1. I love looking at nice (fairly big to large) naturally firm Breasts.
Mine are big, and I love seeing a woman with nice firm breasts,tits or boobs whatever you want to call them. 2. A nice rock hard fully erect fairly large n thick cock. I want to put my mouth and ton... Continue»
Posted by ibMel1 4 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  Views: 1895  |  
10%
  |  11

Tranny Sex Therapy

All at once, Maria's limp lady stick transformed itself from lifeless shell into
The Incredable s/he Hulk. I had to keep opening my mouth to keep it all in.
Precum started to pour down my lips and chin onto to my bra. That precum was rapidly replaced by genuine girlie man paste.

I would have been laughing but it was like being
water boarded with seamen. I was drowning in hir cum. Holeee SHIT!

********************************************************************************

I swear I should have been a sex ther****t. It would be my mission to make
sure before some transgen... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  Views: 698  |  
86%
  |  4

Memories From the Bush

"You've got to be k**ding!" I shouted out loud.

"Whoever thought to name a town that, must have had a huge hairy pussy fetish!"

"WELCOME TO BIG BEAVER PA." The sign said.

I had almost arrived at my new home in Pleasant Town Pa. population 55,000.*

There was no way I could concentrate on my language learning tapes now, not when I was this close to my destination.

Plus my mind was wandering too much anyway. Seeing that "Big Beaver" sign reminded me of my old college days.

Up near Albany NY there's a town everyone refers to ... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  Views: 298  |  
66%

i love myspace

ok so back in 05 i made a myspace. didnt know what it was or how to use it but all my friends had 1 so i wanted one to. i had it for about a month or 2, and girls just seemed 2 love me on there. another month goes by and thats when i figured out how easy it was 2 hook up with girls on myspace, if u had the right kinda game. so i send a friend request to a local model/singer(most girls on myspace are) and she accepted it and sent me a message before i could even try and spit my game at her. she was 5'11 127lbs with long black hair. she didnt have to much of an ass but the most perfect brea... Continue»
Posted by Spyda14 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 562  |  
13%
  |  1

basketball tournament pt. 1

ok so my team makes it to a basketball tournament in humbotlt california, i think i was about 16 or 17 then. i never heard of that city before, but everyone was telling me its very boring, and old fashioned up there. there is nothing to do but smoke weed. i wasn't looking forward to it but i still wanted to win the whole tournament at all costs. when my team arrives to the the city, it was just how everyone said. the small town was so much in the woods there was only 1 hotel. since it was a 25 team tournament it was filled. so a lot of teams stayed with families that had the biggest house... Continue»
Posted by Spyda14 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 441  |  
75%
  |  4

A Toy of my Own

Going back home and seeing Gail was an inspiration. But it also made me realize how much I missed getting boned by my old male partner Hank. Or how much I wanted Gail to shove one of her toys up my own ass. Once I discovered that they really weren't metal spikes that is.

After returning to New England I knew what I had to do. The Adult Bookstore was way outside of town in a fuckin' Industrial Park. What the hell it was doing out there I have no clue. Maybe they're putting fork lift motors in vibrators or something, for all I know. At any rate I found the place.

Befo... Continue»
Posted by loriannthetran 4 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Gay Male, Sex Humor  |  Views: 876  |  
50%
  |  2

In honor of St. Patrick's Day

On a beautiful spring day in Ireland, a priest is walking down a country road when he sees Mary Katherine, a beautiful lass he's known since he baptized her as a babe at his church, walking in the opposite direction, crying hysterically.

"Mary Katherine, my darling c***d, what ever can be wrong on such a lovely day?" the priest asks.

"Ohhh, Father... I'm so sad... My husband..." sobs Mary Katherine. "My husband died last night at home..."

"Ohhh, Mary Katherine, I'm terribly sorry for your loss... Tell me, c***d, did he have any last ... Continue»
Posted by TMandrake 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 994  |  
15%
  |  3

one that got away (funny story)

a few years ago i was a sophmore in college and i was kind of struggling to get used to the whole college life and stuff. I havnt had any long term relationships, as a matter of fact ive never had one more than a couple of weeks. that semester i said to myself "im gonna change this and get something going"; around that time i noticed a girl, she was my swimming proffesor and was only a year older than me.

this girl was probably the most beautiful girl i have ever seen ( in all honesty she really is) she had shoulder length black hair that had a very unique glossy texture. s... Continue»
Posted by vrgnguy4fun 4 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor  |  Views: 855  |  
8%
  |  2