Sex Humor Porn Stories
Page 110

Facebook Dating Tips To Attract Girls

Tip #1 - Fix your Profile

Look at your FB Profile. What does it say about you? A girl that doesn't know you yet - what kind of image will she create about you when she checks your Profile? Think about it. Manipulate your profile to create a more attractive image about yourself. A guy that travels, has a lot of friends and has a strong identity is much more attractive than a guy getting wasted with "the boys" and behaving like a douche. Think about what your profile TELLS about you, then work on it.

Tip #2 - Don't be an Open Book

"Open books" are guys that are, well, open books. A girl... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 5 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
315
  |  
100%
  |  1

Women like dating playboys

Women show the opposite pattern. They are more likely to continue dating a man who has had a heterosexual affair than one who has had a homosexual affair.

The study provides new insight into the psychological adaptations behind men's desire for a variety of partners and women's desire for a committed partner. These drives have played a key role in the evolution of human mating psychology.

"A robust jealousy mechanism is activated in men and women by different types of cues — those that threaten paternity in men and those that threaten abandonment in women," said Jaime C. Confer, the st... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 5 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
137

SHAN6969 ROADSIDE PAYBACK

I love Venice Beach,CA. When ever I have a couple of bucks to blow I will take turns vacationing either there
or Vegas (they're both pretty close to Phoenix). Shan6969, my ex and now periodical fuckbuddy, digs Venice
as well. I can't count how many times we visited there when we were an "item". Shan6969 lives back east and
always comes in town unexpected ready to fuck. This time was no different. Her call woke me up Friday at 1:22 a.m.
BOIDYNHO:(sl**pily) "Hello?"
SHAN6969: "Wake up you big black dicked mother fucker!.....Mama's in town"
BOIDYNHO: "Oh dear gawd...what th"
SHAN6969:"... Continue»
Posted by BOIDYNHO 5 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Interracial Sex, Sex Humor  |  
570
  |  
73%
  |  1

How to pull off the sexy red pout


1) Choose the perfect shade of red to suit your skin tone or you'll come off looking cheap and desperate. Remember brighter shades for lighter skin and deeper shades for dusky skin.

2) Always use a lip liner. They make your lips look fuller and well-defined. Naturally, you'll grab his attention.

3) Tease him a little by adding a touch of gloss to the centre of your lower lip for that extra drama.

4) Avoid heavy eye make-up and blush. You want him to focus on the most sensual part of your body – your lips!

5) Finally, practise! Pucker up and pout in front the mirror.... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 5 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
183

Top Clues that your Woman Is Cheating On You

Short of walking in on your wife or girlfriend doing unspeakable things with another dude, there's no foolproof way to know if she's cheating on you. But there are clues — thing is, you probably don't notice any of them.

But we know two guys who do — in fact, it's their job. Between them, Christopher Paoletti, president of Infidelity Investigations LLC, and Tony DeLorenzo, co-author of The 28 Tell-Tale Signs of a Cheating Spouse, they have about 45 years of experience hunting down cheaters. So we asked them to tell us what sort of behavior is a tip of that a woman might be cheating on you.
... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 5 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
865
  |  
100%
  |  1

Women 'as likely as men to enjoy casual sex

It's not just men who are looking for 'friends with benefits'.

A Deakin University researcher has said that women are as likely as men to enjoy casual sexual arrangements, but for different reasons.

Kylie McCardle, who has been looking for 400 'friends with benefits' to take part in a survey, said the women who took part in an initial study said these arrangements gave them sexual confidence.

"The men were more likely to say they enjoyed the intimacy of the friendship," the Age quoted McCardle as saying.

The initial study was based on in-depth interviews with 15 couples, or 30 'fri... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 5 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
314
  |  
90%
  |  2

Women want More

The pillow talk of new millennium couples in the 2010 INDIA TODAY-AC Nielsen-ORG MARG sex survey tells an unprecedented story of women's arou*al being thwarted and of romance gone sour. Call it the Eat Pray Love moment in the life of the modern Indian woman. Just as the lead character, Elizabeth Gilbert (Julia Roberts in the film) was asked by her Balinese healer to "pray for sex", the survey finds Indian women meditating intently on the prayer beads of fulfilling and wholesome sex.

Shatter those stereotypes that tell you women are not as interested in sex as men are. Overturn the idea that... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 5 years ago  |  Categories: Anal, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
137
  |  
20%

Top Clues that your Woman Is Cheating On You

Short of walking in on your wife or girlfriend doing unspeakable things with another dude, there's no foolproof way to know if she's cheating on you. But there are clues — thing is, you probably don't notice any of them.

But we know two guys who do — in fact, it's their job. Between them, Christopher Paoletti, president of Infidelity Investigations LLC, and Tony DeLorenzo, co-author of The 28 Tell-Tale Signs of a Cheating Spouse, they have about 45 years of experience hunting down cheaters. So we asked them to tell us what sort of behavior is a tip of that a woman might be cheating on you.
... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 5 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor, Voyeur  |  
246
  |  
100%

My naughty s****r cumming into my bedroom at night

When we were young my s****r would sneak into my bedroom at the end of the hall and would. Curiously pull back the blanket and take my dick out of my under wear and look at it and fell it. I was about 16 she was 14. I had sex before and she never has but I did see her with moms dildo in her pussy before! She would come into my room almost every night and play with my dick. I would move a little and she would duck under the bed. She figured I was sl**ping. So after about two week of this she got a little braver and put her soft lips around my cock for just a second and when she did it again I r... Continue»
Posted by Richard234 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, First Time, Sex Humor  |  
7063
  |  
91%
  |  11

Honeymoon with my cousin

HONEYMOON WITH MY COUSIN (1)
It was a hot sunny day, my school exams were over, we friends celebrated,danced& enjoyed ourselves.It was evening time when i reached home.To my surprise i found my cousin s****r opening door.
Jeniffer how come are u here? ,i said,
where is my mom?, jenny
relax,my parents dropped me here & went with yours to enjoy weekend,she said.
but........,i said. don't worry go and get fresh,she said.

While i was taking shower i heard opening sound of my door,is that u jenny?
yeah its me ,she said

At the dining table i noticed her wai... Continue»
Posted by Matt5 5 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Mature, Sex Humor  |  
3309
  |  
67%
  |  3

MY FIRST NUT!

WHEN I WAS 13 I USE TO GET IN TROUBLE ALOT. SO MY MOM SENT ME TO LIVE WITH HER AUNT. SHE WAS OLD SCHOOL..... WHEN I MEAN OLD SCHOOL SHE WOULD BEAT MY ASS FOR ANY LITTLE THING I DID OUT OF LINE. WELL THIS ONE TIME IT WAS EARLY Saturday MORNING. I HAD A MORNING WOOD THAT JUST WOULDN'T GO WAY! SO I STARTED TO JERK IT...... BRINGING A NOT SO QUIET MOAN FROM MY LIPS................ NO WAY SHE HERD ME. SHE GOES OUT ON THE PORCH AND DRINKS HER COFFEE. I WAS REALLY GETTING INTO IT......WHEN I HERD A SCREAM!! YOU DIRTY LIL FU#KER!! SHE YANKED ME UP PUT ME OVER HER KNEES. I WAS ALREADY CRYING NOT THI... Continue»
Posted by forsaken1034 5 years ago  |  Categories: Masturbation, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
2502
  |  
71%
  |  4

sharp exit nearly.

i was approached to attend a swingers party,
i agreed and took a girl,
little did i know id been set up,
as soon as i stripped off i was blindfolded and put in a dark room,
i realised i was not alone,
and a dog started licking my balls,NO I SHOUTED,
i got uptight and angry,
then the blindfold was taken off,
and i was in the middle of 3 fit women oiled up and mine to pleasure.... Continue»
Posted by tricepio 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
192
  |  
44%

Ghostfinger-----totally non-porn, but funny as hel

This is the mostly true story of how I lost my finger at work in a tragic yet humorous accident. It is up to you the reader to decide which parts are true, which parts are humorous and which parts I'm just blowing smoke up your ass.

It was a Monday like any other Monday, but this Monday was special. It was Sewards day. Just to refresh your memories, Sewards day is celebrated (in Alaska anyway) for the purchase of Alaska from those Godless commies bastards, the Russians. Trust me when I say they are kicking themselves for letting it go so cheap. In Alaska it is widely celebrated mos... Continue»
Posted by joewaterford 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
587
  |  
100%
  |  5

8 Ways to Feel Closer After Sex

Take a moment to think about what you and your guy usually do after sex. Chances are, it’s sl**p, eat, or flip on the TV. Not exactly romantic, especially considering that the few hours afterward are one of the best times to bond. “When you orgasm, hormones are released that make you feel more connected,” says clinical sexologist Rachael Ross, MD, PhD. “Take advantage of that by doing things to prolong the feeling.” But that doesn’t mean intense conversations or eye gazing—little gestures can reap big benefits. Try these tips tonight.

1. If you’re hungry, forgo ordering a pizza and instead... Continue»
Posted by jpjai007 5 years ago  |  Categories: Mature, Sex Humor  |  
449
  |  
88%
  |  2

What the Hell

Well Came home from work early the other day and caught my bitch cheating for the second time.. And this time with her Uncle.. No shit well he was married to her aunt at one time no bl**d there but still nasty as fuck if you ask me.. But thru it all I kept a level head cause we have a 1yr girl together...and Was not about to ruin me being in her life because her mother is a stupid whore.. My first thought was to snap and kill them to be honest.. But That would serve no purpose.. I instead did the right thing and was very polite and killed them with kindness.. They did me a favoe if tyou ask me... Continue»
Posted by steven6977 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
859
  |  
87%
  |  2

f****y values

One time i was staying out of town at my cousins place We decided on big night out on the tiles as we hadnt seen each other for a while.

Me my cousin and a few of his footballer mates, hit the clubs
we was all bang up for a good time ,
we were dressed to kill and on the hunt for girls.

A few hours into the night the drink was flowing and we eneded up in a really steamy dance club in west end ,

i was at the bar buying some more drinks with my cousin while we were laughing and exchanging stories of what would like to do to a particular girl in the club

We have always been competi... Continue»
Posted by dannyboy190 5 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor  |  
461
  |  
100%

Porno Night


Lying in bed she said: shall we watch a porno? What, really? I asked, not sure if it was some sort of trap, wary from her Columbo routine by now.
But she was really, not really sure, but really all the same. Ok, but I’m not sure if I know any websites. She laughed – such an absurd lie could not be taken too seriously.

Up popped the main page. It’s a bit much she complained. These are just the categories, I said, we haven’t even got to the proper bit yet!
I scrolled down the categories. Ok, so we’ve got interracial, mature, storyline, female friendly – what’s that? she asked. That’s wher... Continue»
Posted by Josef_K 5 years ago  |  Categories: Sex Humor  |  
415
  |  
84%

'Hump a Tree', A Girls Diary Memories

We all sat around as Kimberly carved away on the tree. We were all in our early teens, a group of girls lost in a hormonal wilderness, neither here nor there, just fantasying about sex, or our concepts and ideas about what sex was all about, and about cocks, we always talked about cocks, and we giggled, and vacillated from thin to thick, long to short, but always having our own personal craving.
Someone screamed, 'OMG Kim', and there was another scream and laughter. I went across to see what all the commotion was about, and what confronted me brought a smile to my face.
Kim, shortened from K... Continue»
Posted by MarieL 5 years ago  |  Categories: Fetish, Group Sex, Sex Humor  |  
1376
  |  
74%
  |  6

My second one.. This was with my social..mam

I already shared with u guys my expirience with my science..mam and this s with my social mam.. I liked her..very much...
She s in her 40s .married but din have a c***d :( :)... but truth s that she s dam sexy...i always daydream at her..and result is fail in my exams.. So i get a chance to attend her remedials..around 10 students accompany me in her..class.. Oh i forget to say her character ,she s very strict ..she use to debate for all the topic.. So i know if i could get her in a sexy argument then i can win her.. .. I was waitin for a rite day..i said all my friends that lets bunk the re... Continue»
Posted by Michaelzoron 5 years ago  |  Categories: Hardcore, Sex Humor, Taboo  |  
800
  |  
77%
  |  1

First time trying on a condom...

I was in gym class as a freshman in highschool, and we had the ever present awkward class where the boys and girls separate to learn about our sexuallity. (although as like right now it seems everyone had already explored theirs but me) and the learning set today was on safe sex. we learned about all different kinds of birth control from condoms to pills to "pulling-out" to diaphrams. all of it was very awkwards and so-far useless to me in my sexless life. so the assignment when we got home that day was to try on condoms they passed out to the class. surprisingly enough, the school didn't skim... Continue»
Posted by MDvirgin 5 years ago  |  Categories: First Time, Masturbation, Sex Humor  |  
1244
  |  
63%
  |  2