Sex Humor Porn Stories Page 11
1986 or possibly 1987, I was in my mid 20's and going out with Viv, a
BBC TV producer who was both gorgeous, and incredibly .
During Whitsun week I found myself some hundred miles away from her,
at a Holiday camp in South Wales, as bassist in a hastily put together
backing band for a fading glam rocker who was appearing for a week's
residency. I will call him Rocky for the sake of argument, but I do not
refer to Handsome b**sts frontman Rocky Shades here, though we do know
Rocky's tastes in recreation would not pass the filters here, shall we
So there we we... Continue»
It was a few years ago, a friend of mine invited me to his weeding in San Francisco.
it was a sunny Californian afternoon, near the sea and in a beautiful big house.
I went with my wife, who by the time this story happened she was dancing with my friend.
I said to her that I need to go to the loo. it was more to see what was around that a natural emergency
earlier, I had noticed the weeding photographer, she was a very hot lady, in his middle 50's, short blondish hair, long skinny legs and wonderful
middle size breast under a silk yellow shirt. For some reason she turned me on. She smile... Continue»
My name is John and I live in Australia this took place in year 11 and is a true story.
I was looking forward to going back to school and getting back to seeing friends and playing rugby again. I was also looking forward to seeing some of the girls and some of the new girls in the school. So in the morning I left home and walked to school and saw some gorgeous girls walking to my school and the all girls school up the road a bit further. As I got to the front gate I was met by a group of friends and as we were talking I saw a blonde girl walking past and got a good look at her figure. She m... Continue»
I''m not going to say that it was a true story but, It was like any I write.
I didn't see that coming to be honest. When I moved here in 2006 I was amazed by the lack of women around, I mean, there were and are, but they seem like they really don't mind having sex.
However, one of the first persons I'd noticed in my new street, was a tall skinny redish woman, I learned later that she is 47 years old.
One morning I was having my coffee in the garden, after my wife left for work, it was pretty early, around 7 AM almost.
However, I suddenly see a few meters beyond the end of my garden, a woma... Continue»
"It's just as fat but I believe your dick is only two-thirds as long as
Chip's," said Chelsea, forefinger tapping the moist eye at the top of
the subject item. As she withdrew the fingertip, a thin thread of clear
liquid followed it.
Dolf, to whom the subject item was attached, said, "That means his is
about eight inches. I don't believe it. I've seen his dick."
She cocked an eyebrow. "When it was hard?" Before he could respond she
snorted. "Hard! Why do you guys call it that? They don't really get
_hard_, not like a piece of wood."
"It feels hard to me, like right ... Continue»
An overcast weekday at the end of summer, definitely a good day to get a workout in. No waiting for a lane today. We didn’t even have to share.
We finished our laps and decided to grab an early dinner on the way home. We’d meet back in about 20 minutes. I headed to the mens locker room and she to the ladies.
I opened my locker and grab my towel. I slid my trunks to the floor and headed to the shower stalls. The water had been a little chilly so I wasn’t impressing anyone but then there wasn
‘t much of an audience anyway.
I walked to the end of the row of stalls and just as I was ente... Continue»
A few days after my accident at Jessica's house, my mother had to travel for work. Jessica promptly offered to help by taking me to baseball practice and ensuring that we were stocked for groceries and the like.
Mom was so relieved
, but I new exactly why Jessica had offered her help so promptly.
As soon as I got in the car to drive to practice, our ... Continue»
It was around 11:00pm on May 10th 2012; also known as the kick-off of a all-time fantasy.
I was on Facebook and I recently got a message from a older friend of mine.
Her name was Mary(Not Using Real Names)and she said "Hey long time no talk." I replied saying
"Yeah I know right, what are you up to." "Not a damn thing," she said "I saw you were online and
wanted to see how have you been." At this point I had visions of her and her ass all of sudden.
I quickly had to adjust myself as my pants were becoming tighter. The conversation went on for about three hours, but within those three ho... Continue»
Hello and thank you for stopping by.
I am Gabriel and my mission is to explore and try to understand my own sexuality and the sexuality of others, and have fun while doing that.
My very first memory of anything remotely sexual or that gave me some weird but pleasurable feeling was while actually playing on the kitchen floor with my toy cars. Of course....
After being chosen as the winner of the SyFy channel reality show "ghost hunters academy" in 2009 and given a permanent role as a co-host on ghost hunters and then later ghost hunters international, Heathyr Hoffman couldn't possibly be happier with her life as a reality television celebrity.
Being on “Ghost Hunters International” was a blast. Heathyr Hoffman couldn’t imagine a better career than globe-trotting while looking for paranormal activity wherever it might occur. This enhanced a life-long love of history as well as her personal fascination with ghosts and other things that go bump ... Continue»
I was at a local bar near downtown. The bartender was leing people that nite, and I happened to be at that same bar the previous weekend. I stepped outside to go for a smoke, I was talking to a girl I had just met and he came outside, remembered who I was because we had introduced ourselves the previous weekend as mentioned before. While in conversation with that girl he walks up and says " you have been leid" then placed it around my neck. The girl laughs and said to me "
come home with me if you really want to get laid." I chuckle and say " alright" thinking she was joking around with me. ... Continue»
I couldn't believe I had just taken a long set on the treadmill. My head felt like it was swimming, I was dizzy, I was not used to it at all in any way!
Stumbling at the gym I barely hit the off button when I ended up falling back and into a strong pair of arms.
"Whoa, buddy!" he cried as I felt his upper bod against mine.
"Yeah... it's just I can't believe that."
"It's alright. I think you should check with a doctor you shouldn't be running on something if you can't handle such a machine."
I heard little snickers of the 'roid infested men who went by. Didn't care 'bout them though.... Continue»
فاتن امرأة جميلة مصرية صميمة فى التاسعة والثلاثين من عمرها .. متزوجة وزوجها مصاب بالشلل وهو أكبر منها بنحو خمسة أعوام ولها منه ابن وحيد هو أحمد والبالغ عمره 18 عاما .. اضطرت فاتن للعمل تحت ضغط لقمة العيش والكد على عائلتها الصغيرة وتعليم ابنها بعد إصابة زوجها بالعجز الكلى الذى أقعده عن العمل وحصل على معاش قليل لا يكاد يفى باحتياجات الأسرة وابنها الذى تدللـه وتحبه كثيرا .. كانت فاتن من مواليد 7 يوليو بينما أحمد من مواليد 15 سبتمبر .. وكانت فاتن تعمل كخادمة فى البيوت لأنها ربة منزل أصلا ولم تنال حظا وافرا من التعليم رغم ذلك كانت ذكية متوقدة الذهن وكان ذلك مما يعجب أحمد وغير أحمد فيها .. وأخذت ف... Continue»
Again, I am not understanding humor in the title. My translator says "go with it". Whatever.
Mr. Aronoff calls in the morning, and says to meet him at the factory. We will be building set again for Friday night photography session. He is pleased with us, and says after taking out what we owe him, there is still little money we earned from last night. But he also suggests we buy some of our own clothing and cosmetics. This seems fair to us, as we cannot wear costumes when not working, and our country boy clothing is shabby. He will have Ana take us shopping later in day.
He also sa... Continue»
During my teen age I was very sexually active and loved girls alot. I just loved to have some nice squeezings and getting a handjob not until I was 18 before I broke my virginity.
There was this hot girl I really had a deep crush on. Every night, I keep on imagining and dreaming of her nice and attractive perky boobs. I mastubate every night wising she would let me suck on them. She was younger than me with 2 years and we weren't so close. So I had to get close to her, the girl of all my fantasies.
We began chatting with each other regularly on webcam until one lonely and boring day she sho... Continue»
I am asking the translator what that means: The Revenge. There is no revenge in my story! And she says it is a kind of joke. Like the Electric Boogaloo. I do not understand why that is funny, but she is telling me to trust her, and continue with my story.
When we grew awake in the morning, Svetlana wanted more sexy sexy time, but I said to not. Because Mr. Aronoff would be there soon to pick us up for the bus ride back to home. Svetlana, who looked more like Serge in the morning, said quietly, he did not want to go back home. I pushed him into the shower to wash off the cosmetics fro... Continue»
Master and Commander
It was now several weeks after me and Gemma had fucked, she was still living with me and we were still fucking on what was an almost daily basis.
As I opened the door I could hear what sounded like muffled moans coming from the bedroom, she does like to play with herself I thought as I put my bag down on the table. I could see the bedroom door wasn’t fully closed so I walked over expecting to see Gemma fucking herself with her dildo, to my amazement I saw Gemma laying on the bed with her head pointing towards the door with another girl getting her clit licked and pus... Continue»
After eric left the auditorium my legs were shaking so bad I basically did the walk of shame in front of my drama teacher. He wouldn’t care if I told him I was in the prop room fucking a boy. He just looked up and said ‘you look nice. I thought you were absent.’ I told him ‘no I came in late.’ I asked him to change my absent to a tardy. He said ‘Sure no problem. Will you tell the bitches smoking in the dressing room to spray some damn air freshener.’
I laughed at him and pulled a can of glade out of my massive purse. I told him it was my fault I usually bring the glade. He told me to splu... Continue»
Ramu was cleaning the parking corridor with the wood broom as his sahab Anant was leaving for the office. Ramu is the gardener for Mr Anant Patil for 8 years now. Ramu basically is from Bihar but he has been in Baroda for quite a long time now. He is married and has 3 c***dren back at home but he has chosen to stay alone in Baorda. (and you will soon know why he did do.)
As the car disappeared Mamta came out in balcony and signed Ramu to come upstairs. Mamta is
I had many fantasies in my eyes which I had never shared with anyone but when I got married then I started fantasising about my hot Indian wife only whom I used to love better as she was the only girl who showed me her naked body and allowed me to fuck her. This was the dedication of her for me that she too had never entertained any male near her as she remained much attached to the culture.
I really had the best feeling for her and even imagining her with another